Sex is a good thing, but our passion still needs parameters.

you can do a good thing in the wrong way

and it becomes a bad thing sex is a good

thing to little teach that in the church

we teach you know sex is dirty sex is

gross sex is disgusting so save it for

your husband

but the passion is pure however the

passion needs parameters if it is to

serve the correct purpose and what’s

gotten a lot of us in trouble in our

lives is we had a good passion but no

parameters

so rather than building purpose it

destroyed purpose and that’s what

happened to Moses he had the right

passion but he put it in the wrong place

and acted on it in the wrong way right

passion wrong expression look bring me

my um sermon illustration so like I was

just thinking of a way that I could show

you this a simple way to show you this

and it’s like imagine right now that at

this point in my sermon I know this is

simple just just go with me hey I got an

idea

let’s build a fire on the stage

I just think it’d be cool to build a

fire on the stage I’m stacking wood to

build a fire on the stage I actually

thought about how far should I take this

sermon illustration and I thought about

gasoline and I thought I would see how

far I could go before people started

leaving exiting the building but but I

think it suffice it just to say that you

know everybody in the room understands

the problem with this proposition and

the problem isn’t building a fire

the problem is building a fire in a

place where there’s nothing to contain

the fire it’s fine if you want to build

a fire but building a fire without any

parameters would be to unleash it

the same substance that warms your home

when it’s in a fireplace is the same

substance that burns a forest in

Colorado in the summer the difference is

whether it’s contained and when you

release passions that were intended for

marriage outside of marriage you’re

building a fire with nothing to contain

it and God says the fires a good thing

fire purifies fire brings warmth fire is

a source of life there’s nothing wrong

with fire but if you build the fire in

the wrong place if you put the passion

in the wrong place it will burn your

home to the ground

it’s a misplaced passion it’s a good

thing in a bad place and I wonder I

wonder how many of you would have

avoided some serious pain in your life

if somebody would have showed you before

you build a fire you need somewhere to

put it

and the only human relationship that can

sustain this force of passion is a

covenant relationship called marriage if

you go building fires and other

relationships that aren’t built to

contain the power of passion it’s gonna

it’s gonna spread the places you don’t

intend for it to spread and it’s gonna

it’s gonna destroy things that God gave

you as a gift and so Paul is not saying

put the fire out

he’s saying find the right place to

build the fire make sure you have the

right place for the passion or you’ll

get burned and I’m seeing so many people

and so many families get burned because

they were trying to get warm because

it’s cold out there and because I need

relationship and because I need somebody

so I think I’ll stand up next to this

fire I did a word study this week

I studied the word intimacy which is

what we’re all truly longing for it’s

really what we all want that’s what all

of our sexual expression emotional

expression is about we want intimacy

that’s what we want that’s what we

desire from God and from others we want

to be known we want to be accepted we

want intimacy but then I studied the

word infatuation and I was fascinated to

find out that in Latin this will make

you sound so smart at lunch this week in

Latin infatuation literally means false

fire looks like fire but really can’t

warm you looks like fire but really

can’t empower you looks like fire and

that’s what the world offers is an

infatuation with images of sexuality but

it won’t really warm you in fact it can

actually run away from you and burn your

house down and and some preacher needs

to get up in front of you and just have

the guts to care two cents worth of

nothing what you think about it and say

if you’re building these fires in the

wrong place is

burn you it’s gonna burn you

so it’s mismanaged passions passion is

pure the enemy wants to pervert it and

use what God wanted to use to develop

intimacy in your life to destroy your

capacity for intimacy so that he gets a

boy looking at pornography at age ten so

he can begin to rewire his brain and his

standard of beauty so that when he’s

having sex with his wife one day he

won’t be able to do it without conjuring

up images that he saw before he even

knew what was developing in his life and

in his heart because a fire got built

but there was nothing to contain it I

[Applause]

say this not to condemn you I say this

not to bring all your mistakes up before

you but there are some of you that are

building fires and bad places right now

sending text messages to the wrong

person right now visiting some of the

wrong sites right now filling your minds

with the wrong kinds of images indulging

in the wrong conversations it’s nothing

wrong with the fire it’s just where you

put it unless close talking about

something positive let’s talk about

shameless solutions shameless solutions

so when me and Holly were building our

home last year there were all these

selections that you have to make and for

the most part I never got involved but

she would bring certain things to me

that she thought I might want to weigh

in on and one of them was what kind of

fireplace we would have in the house

I love sitting by a fireplace I don’t

know why but I like the gas log

fireplace because this is about as much

work as I want to do

start the fire like to me that’s that’s

my version of roughing it like that’s my

outdoorsman ship right there

just flip that little switch and the

fire comes on she said no no for this

house we need to have a real fireplace

with like real logs and stuff and I’m

like oh god no I mean we don’t have to

go chop wood and go buy a flannel shirt

from oh maybe and I don’t have one in

the closet and she’s like no no it’ll be

great it’ll be a gas start fireplace but

it’ll have real wood and so I’m thinking

like you know I trust you whatever

and she said trust me you’ll love it I

said go ahead we can do it and then

nobody showed me how to use it so the

first time I went to go build a fire in

the in the gas start fireplace which let

me see I’m gonna give you the technical

explanation for this there’s a little

thingy that you put in the the hole on

there’s a thing on the side of the

fireplace and you turn that on and then

it opens the gas valves and so then then

you can light the fire least that’s what

I thought you were supposed to do is

turn on the gas and then light the fire

in the fireplace

so I was so excited to have our first

fire of the year last year and so I

turned on the gas to give it plenty of

time like you know if you turn it on

your car and they’re cold see give us

some time to warm up right and so I went

to go get my kids cuz I wanted them to

see the first fire and I bring them in

because this is like getting close to

Christmas time and their stockings up

and I thought this was gonna be a

picture-perfect scene and so I went I go

and get a drink and get the kids and I

gathered them around and I went and got

the wood not the wood that I chopped the

wood that the man who sold the wood to

me on the side of the road chopped at

some point and I took that wood and I

stacked it up high because I wanted it

be a good fire I wanted to make sure our

first fire was a good fire and now I

figure we’re warmed up and and so what

happened when I put the match in so like

now when I give an invitation for people

to receive Christ I give it with so much

more passion because I feel like I have

I have seen what hell is going to be

like

because when the when the flames came

out it was traumatic it was traumatic

for Graham Graham was crying I was

calling on Jesus Christ

I was calling on Smokey the Bear I was

stopping and droppin and rolling it was

everything I was checking for eyebrows

in the mirror lesson learned

start the fire in the fireplace and then

turn on the gas not the other way around

the difference between a fire that will

warm your house and a fire that will

burn off your face

has to do with the order in which you

turn on the gas and like the flame and

that’s what Paul is saying Church and

that’s what God is saying he’s saying

some of you are running the gas valve

wide open in your thought life and

you’re running the gas valve wide open

in your conversations and you’re running

the gas valve wide open and so you’re

getting hit by all these flames that are

consuming you and burning you alive what

do you expect when you turn the gas on

and leave it on and let it build up and

just think what you want and say what

you want you don’t control any of this

like how did you think this was gonna

end when you let the gas buildup in you

you’ve never got any help with those

issues and you never found any place to

discuss them and me where did you think

this was gonna end he said first first

marriage then fire context is everything

and some of you I’m not trying be

hateful I’m just trying to be helpful

just sitting here feeding the fire of

lust and discontentment and wondering

why have the flames are burning so high

you say well I just can’t control myself

you know that’s kind of what Paul says

in the passage he says for those who

can’t control themselves you should get

married you know that’s actually a poor

interpretation of the original language

in Greek he didn’t actually say for

those who can’t control themselves he

said for those who are not controlling

themselves see because he said that the

fruit of the Spirit is love joy peace

patience kindness goodness faithfulness

gentleness and self-control so you have

self-control but when you feed the wrong

fires all the time like some of you are

just throwing logs on the fire all the

time

and you’re you’re miserable because

you’re watching The Bachelor

no man will ever be able to live up to

your standard because you’re watching a

guy take girls on dates on a network

budget your man might drive a Hyundai it

may be a good car but you’re feeding the

fire of all of these ideals some of you

men have gotten your standard of beauty

from people who are airbrushed no wonder

your wife can’t satisfy you you’re

feeding the wrong fire it’s flaming up

and blaze it up and you’re running the

gas and you talk out you want to talk

and do what you want to do and say what

you want to say and now you’re wondering

why can’t I control this because you

didn’t control that so what do we need

we need a big ol ice bucket

you know what the church does and what I

used to do a lot of times when I would

preach about these topics I would think

that the solution for sexual sin is a

big old bucket of shame you know so we

just you know something like that and

all the sermons are based around shame

it’s like and that that’s effective for

like three days but then it flares right

back up

most of the time in our sexuality shame

is the source of our problem so it can’t

be our solution

[Applause]

Paul doesn’t shame the Corinthian church

he doesn’t shame God doesn’t shame you

for your struggles for your passions he

simply wants you to get them in the

right place hey thanks for watching make

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