Peace With Ourselves – Dr. Charles Stanley
Dr. Stanley reveals the key truths that dismantle the lies of the enemy that say we are unlovable and unacceptable. Discover how God sees you and learn to love yourself the way your heavenly Father already does. For more messages from Charles Stanley, including this week’s broadcast, go to https://intouch.org/watch
in touch the Teaching Ministry of Dr
Charles Stanley next on in touch peace
with
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ourselves our heavenly father desires
that all of us have peace in fact he
desires that we have a three-fold peace
peace with him which is the result of
having the gift of eternal life and
knowing it peace with others which is
the the capacity to have a harmonious
relationship with other people and then
peace within ourselves with ourselves
which is a quietness and the serenity of
our soul that is the result of learning
to accept ourselves the way we are
realizing that God has something very
special for each and every one of us God
desires that we have peace with
ourselves now it’s very evident that you
and I could have peace with God without
having peace with ourselves we can have
peace peace with others without having
peace with ourselves peace with
ourselves means that somehow there is a
deep sense of Serenity and quietness
within us that we have learned to live
in a harmonious relationship with
ourself and that is the part of peace
that often times eludes people and
that’s the section of peace that I want
us to deal with in this message and I
want you to turn if you will to the 34th
Psalm and the title of this message is
simply that and that is peace with
ourselves I just want to read one single
verse out of this passage and it is a
twofold admonition to us in Psalm 34 and
verse 14 and here’s what the psalmist
says depart from Evil and do good and
then listen seek peace and pursue it
that is go after it that is find it he
says pursue it that is don’t give up
until you discover it it is the will of
God that we have peace peace within
ourselves with others and with himself
and so let’s think about this whole
issue of learning to live with peace
with ourselves and a lot of people don’t
even realize what’s going on in their
life and they’re at war with themselves
and can’t don’t realize they’re having a
war on the inside and sometimes look
around to see what is the real cause of
their failure to enjoy Peace So when you
think about it I think about it in this
light it’s really like walking around
the Civil War on the side you see if you
don’t have peace with yourself you’re
not going to be able to enjoy to the
fullest peace with the father or peace
with your friends peace with other
people and here’s what happens that
often times people don’t like
themselves they don’t like the way they
look they feel unlovable unwanted
uncared for they feel inadequate and
insecure and often times make jokes
about themselves often times find
something about themselves to criticize
they just don’t like themselves and they
certainly do not love themselves if you
don’t like yourself you don’t love
yourself and you’re walking around
always feeling rejected and unwanted and
unloved and unfit uncared for rejected
in areas of life then you’re not going
to have peace no matter what you may
think about being saved and your friends
may think you’re a fantastic person but
if you do not have peace with yourself
you’ll never be able to enjoy the other
two and so when I think about people who
feel that way what happens is they’re
always battling on the inside sometimes
it can get so bad that a person has a
very difficult time accepting any kind
of compliment because the little
something inside of them says you don’t
deserve that therefore they don’t mean
it and often times you and I can
compliment someone genuinely mean it out
of the sincerity of our heart and you
know what it does it causes us great
Delight to be able to compliment them
you know what it does to them causes
them pain because they walk away saying
you don’t mean it he couldn’t possibly
mean it because I don’t deserve it and
I’m not worthy of it and I’m not anybody
worth really wanting to be a friend with
anyway and so therefore they could I
wish they wouldn’t say things like
that and you see they’re walking around
with a civil war going on the inside
they’re struggling with something on the
inside now they’ll look at God and blame
God sometimes and sometimes they’ll try
to blame others but you know what
happens often
times that people realize they can’t
blame God for what they are doing and
what they’re feeling they look around
they think how other people treat them
they can’t blame them all of a sudden
they have to look on the inside and it’s
very frightening it’s frightening to
look on the inside of
yourself and discover that something’s
not right and especially when you can’t
put your finger on what it is I know
something’s not right I wanted to be
right it’s not the people around me it’s
not God something on the inside of me so
what I want us to do in this message is
this I want us to look at those things
that are absolutely essential for us to
believe and to experience in order to
have peace with ourselves because you
don’t if you don’t have peace with
yourself you’re not going to enjoy peace
with God peace with others because we
have to live with ourselves and so I
want to encourage you to get out a
pencil and piece of paper give you time
for a second or so to do that and begin
and the first three of these would be
the ones that would be the most evident
but as we move along we’ll see some that
are not so evident and remember what
we’re talking about we’re talking about
those Essentials in your belief system
in your actions that will make it
possible for you to live at peace with
yourself a sense of Tranquility a sense
of calmness a sense of quietness a sense
of Harmon harmonious relationship with
yourself that will make the difference
in whether how much you enjoy God how
much you enjoy others and it begins with
this very first requirement and that is
that you and I receive the Lord Jesus
Christ as our personal savior now you
say well what does that have to do with
my inner peace here’s what it has to do
with it this settles once and for all
where you’re going to spend eternity and
you know that if you die you’re going
into one of two places there are no
other Alternatives somebody says well
when I die that’s going to be the end of
Me no it’s not there’s not a single
verse in the Bible says it’s going to be
the end of you and so the Bible says you
either going to heaven or you’re going
to torment and you know that the Bible
teaches that if you don’t know it I
could give you lots of scriptures to
show you but for the moment take my word
he says absent from the body present
with the Lord for those of us who are
believers but those who are not it’s
torment and so that is a separation from
God now if you know that and you do know
that one of these days you’re going to
die it’s AO that a man wants to die and
after this the Judgment you cannot
possibly have peace with yourself
knowing that you could get on the
expressway turn the corner have an
accident die
instantly or you could get sick in a
long period of time and die you know
that ultimately we just going to go to
sleep and our heart stop beating and
we’re going to die at some point it’s
going to happen now how can you live
with peace on the inside knowing it’s
going to happen and you’re not
ready well you say one of these days I’m
going to get ready but in your mind
you’ve already thought about my my my
but suppose it happens so quickly I
don’t have time to get ready let’s face
it you cannot have peace with yourself
when you do not know where you’re going
to spend eternity or you believe and
think the possibilities that you could
be separated from God forever and ever
and ever and as he says listen living in
out of
Darkness whether it’s weeping and
nashing of teeth there is no way you can
possibly live with peace knowing that is
a possibility now second thing that is
very essential is this and that is that
you believe and accept the truth that
God is absolutely Sovereign now why is
that essential because if we accept the
truth that God is absolutely Sovereign
that listen that protects us from the
continuing fear of safety suppose this
happens in my life suppose that happens
he says in that 103d Psalm the 19th
verse that he has established his throne
in the heavens and his sovereignty rules
over all that is God is in absolute
control of all things if I can accept
the fact that he is in absolute control
of my life and every aspect of it I
don’t have to be fearful and when you
think about uh how fearful people are
for example they’re afraid to get on an
airplane and fly most anywhere they’re
afraid to open their mail they are
afraid that they’re going to get some
some kind of disease or some kind of bi
biological warfare is going to hit them
they are concerned about the fact and
worried about there may be another
terrorist attack now listen you cannot
live with fear in your heart and peace
in your heart at the same time you have
to make a
choice and it is a choice we make am I
going to believe that God is absolutely
Sovereign and if he is that means he’s
in control if he is in control of your
life you’re not going to die until God
get Gets Ready God is our protector you
see you can’t live in peace with
yourself if you wake up during the
morning or during the night afraid of
what may happen and what could happen to
you if you’re going to live with peace
with
yourself you must have settled while
you’re going to spend eternity and
secondly you must have settled the issue
that God Almighty is in absolute control
of your life and only what he permits
can happen and whatever he allows he’s
going to turn it for your good no matter
what there’s a third essential and
that’s this and that is the whole idea
that often times people have to deal
with and that is simply this this
principle is so clearly written
throughout God’s word that is that God
is going to meet every need that you
have he says my God shall supply all of
our needs according to his riches and
Glory that those of us who walk
uprightly she’ll not want any good thing
not a single thing he’s going to provide
every single need and so in these days
when many people are losing their jobs
and their whole idea is if I lose my job
I won’t have any money then I’ll be in
need then what’s going to happen I do
understand that does not mean that we’re
not to have concerns but listen there’s
a difference in concern and fear there’s
a difference in having this uh Terror
feeling in our hearts what may happen
and and here’s what’s going to happen
and I’m going to be this that and the
other no only what God allows and so he
says that he will supply all of our
needs our heavenly father does not want
you waking up in the morning or any day
or going to bed at night or rolling and
tossing and tumbling all night long
worried and concerned about what may
happen or that your needs are not going
to be met God doesn’t want us living
that kind of life so those three are
very basic essential things but there’s
the fourth thing when we think in terms
of living with peace within ourselves
and the fourth one is this and that is
to maintain a clear conscience maintain
a clear conscience in the 24th chapter
of Acts listen to what the Apostle Paul
said 24th chapter and the 16th verse he
makes it very clear about his own
interest and his own concern in this
area here’s what he says he says having
a hope in God which these men cherish
themselves that there shall be certainly
a resurrection of both the righteous and
the wicked then verse listen he says in
verse 16 in view of this I also do my
best to maintain always a blameless
conscience both before God and before
men now let’s think of this why is a
blameless why is a clean conscience so
important and so essential to peace
because God placed the conscience within
us as a warning signal that is when we
are heading in the wrong
direction in our life to do something
wrong or to say something wrong often
times we know in our heart all of a
sudden we get this warning or having
already done it having already said it
we say our conscience bothers us now
what is it that’s bothering is what’s
bothering us is guilt so to keep a clear
conscience means that protects us from
the very weighty harassment and listen
The Continuous shoutings of our
conscience somebody says well my
conscience doesn’t shout let’s put it
this way your conscience is as loud
listen the volume of your conscience
will be determined by the degree of your
guilt the more guilty you feel the
louder your conscience is going to be
and there are some people who are
walking around with a raging conscience
they know that they’re living in sin
they know that they’re living
Disobedience to God they’re rebelling
against God they want it their
way somebody says well but you can you
can kill your conscience now watch watch
this as an unbeliever who’s never
trusted Jesus Christ as your savior you
can absolutely almost destroy your
conscience not
ultimately but as a Believer too bad
when you receive the Lord Jesus Christ
as your personal savior the Holy Spirit
came on the inside of you to live and he
listen he works through your conscience
and he’s not going to allow you as a
Believer to reach the stage where your
conscience absolutely says nothing any
longer listen you may muffle it you may
make it very quiet but it’s still
there because you see God doesn’t want
you living with a dirty conscience
because he knows you cannot have peace
you cannot have joy in your heart you
cannot have tranquility and quietness in
your soul as long as your conscience is
not clean and the only way to get it
clean is to confess sin and repent of it
turn away from it and surrender yourself
to God and so what you have to ask is
this somebody says well I believe that
you can you can disobey God and still
have peace
why don’t you have it you don’t have it
you can’t have it God’s not going to let
you have it why doesn’t God let me have
it he loves you too much to allow you to
sin against him violate his principles
rebel against his will disobey him and
get along as if nothing ever happened
and this is why people try to muffle it
they try to muffle it with drugs they
try to muffl it with pleasure and they
think if they get more of this and more
of that and more of the other finally
they get enough and have enough friends
and enough pleasure and prominence and
Prestige and power and all the rest that
conscience won’t make any difference
sorry that’s not the way it is another
very important element at this point is
this and that is to be able to listen we
must be able to accept ourselves the way
God made us
now what does that do now watch this to
accept yourself the way God Made You
helps you listen protects you from
trying to change those things over which
have absolutely no control there are
many things in life over which you and I
have no control so if I’m going to have
peace in my heart I must be willing to
accept myself you don’t like the way you
look so I don’t like I don’t like my
facial features I I don’t like the way I
look well did God make a mistake no did
he make you the way you are for a
certain reason yes now you say well am I
to stay this way all of my life it
depends on what you’re talking about
because you see I think all of us are
responsible for improving the things we
can
improve but there’s some things we can’t
improve in words I cannot be 7 feet tall
I mean there’s no way God didn’t make me
that way and you see sometimes a person
doesn’t like to say well I’m too short
I’m Too Tall I’m too this you notice I
didn’t say F I’m too this I’m too I’m
too that I don’t like this and I wish I
were this and I wish I’d have been born
over young I wish I I wish I wish I wish
wish what you saying is God you made a
pile of mistakes God you made some
mistakes and what happens is you end up
not liking yourself now if you don’t
like yourself you can’t be at peace with
yourself because in the morning you get
up and you look
where in the mirror what is your first
response yeah is that what you think or
do you say not
bad or do you say my my I’m looking
better today
you know what you could do you could say
I’m looking better every
day you may you say but suppose I’m not
get busy and work on it that’s what I
would say you don’t like the way you
look work on it now there’s some things
you can’t change but there’s some things
we can change what is God expecting you
and me to change anything that you and I
can change he wants us listen he wants
us to be our best at whatever we do that
won’t mean that doesn’t mean that you’ll
be the best there is but the best you
can be look your best do your best try
your best give it your best don’t don’t
be accused of being slothful and lazy
don’t be accused of just not caring
about how you look and what you do with
your life because you’re somebody
special in the eyes of God your
fingerprints the only one like that
listen your soul is the only one like
that your spirit is the only one like
that God Made You somebody special no
two people in the world there may be
twins but they’re not exactly like only
one person like you nobody just you just
you you’re you’re a definite
individually created personality whom
God loves and cherishes and desires so
much that he gave his son to down on the
cross to save us from our sins you’re
somebody special in God’s eyes and then
I would just mention one other and there
lots of things we could say about that
and that is
you must listen you must be Christ
centered and not self-c centered Christ
centered and not self Center Christ at
the heart of your life Jesus says I am
your life he said I am your life living
on the inside of every single one of us
is the person of Jesus Christ now let’s
look at this whole idea of being
self-center now this hits you too hard
don’t blame me
amen pretty soft but that’s okay now
watch this a self-centered person is a
manipulator a self-centered person is
very
insensitive a self-centered person has
the idea consciously or unconsciously
the whole world revolves around them I’m
going tell you why this is the way they
think my
needs my wishes my desires my house my
car my dress my looks my pleasure my
vacation my salary my security my my my
their three favorite friends me myself
and I that’s the way they think because
they listen because not only do they
think the world revolves around them but
they’re insensitive you naturally they’d
be insensitive why you can’t think about
yourself be wrapped up in yourself in
the wrong fashion at the same time be
sensitive to other people’s needs so
they’re always manipulating
circumstances when a when a friend is a
very self-centered person it’s difficult
to be a friend to a self-centered person
you can’t get
in because they have it all blocked out
they want to be sure they get their
needs met they want to be sure you agree
with them they want to be sure you go
where they go you do what they do you
you you you want what they want
self-center is very destructive and you
listen you can no longer be peaceful and
have peace in your heart being
self-centered than you can being
incompetent no purpose and full of full
of
rejection Christ cented life is a life
that says this Jesus is the most
important thing in my life and the most
important person it’s what he wants it’s
what I want what pleases him is what I
want and you know what happens he’s
going to give you a peace that’s beyond
your comprehension you’ll never be able
you’ll never be able to figure it out if
you’re going to live with peace in your
heart you you must lay down the selfish
listen selfish carnal fleshly natural
self-centeredness because listen you
will only be able to have relationships
that are that are that are either
fakey or very
limited a self-centered person you can’t
get on the inside you never know where
you are because they’re always looking
out for the big eye and if you fit their
pattern and fit their schedule and fit
their plan that’s fine but if you don’t
don’t count on there’s no loyalty in a
person who’s self-centered there’s you
know what a self-centered person can’t
love you they don’t have the capacity
why because all of their all of their
fragmented feelings of affection are so
messed up on the inside they can’t put
it together to love you listen not that
they don’t they
can’t and if you’re self-centered you
can’t love someone you say oh yes I do
no you
can’t you can have some affection for
them it’s limited it’s limited by
whether it profits you or not whether it
makes you feel good or not if trying to
love them doesn’t make you feel good in
other words if it doesn’t satisfy you in
some fashion you’re not going to do it
that’s what self-center is all about you
cannot live in peace and be
self-centered you
cannot that that’s something you need to
confess and repent of and and ask God
Lord I Want I Want Jesus to be first in
my life I want what pleases you and what
honors you I I I’m I’m sick and tired of
me me my myself and I wanting my way all
the time not having genuine true friends
not being able to love or and not being
able to feel that somebody really loves
me it just may be that the reason you
don’t feel anybody loves you is because
they can’t you’re shutting them
out harmonious relationships with other
people are going to be greatly
affected by Your Capacity to live in
peace with yourselves and so my prayer
for you is simply this that you would be
willing to stop and ask yourself the
question
do I really have
peace on the
inside and we’re not talking about God
or friends we talking about peace on the
inside am I at peace with
myself can I lie down at night and look
up in the night and say thank you Lord
Jesus and see nobody else have to nobody
listen nobody else can and nobody else
has to tell you when you can lie down at
night close your eyes or leave them open
and just say I just want to thank you
for the wonderful peace that’s
prevailing in my
heart that harmonious uninterrupted
sense of flow of something inside of you
that Paul said you will never be able to
explain it he said Peace that passes all
human understanding all human
understanding if you don’t have that you
can you say but and you start giving me
a whole bunch of excuses none of that
works you know why because the peace
that our Lord desires that you and I
have within ourselves is not determined
by outward circumstances now watch this
because that would mean you say well
I’ve lost my I’ve lost my marriage
partner either died divorced separated
therefore I can’t have any
peace does that mean that every time God
takes a loved one away that he says to
that person now you are condemned the
rest of your life you’ll never be able
to experience peace cuz I took them
away no there is no experience in
life in which a loving father will not
give us an awesome sense of Peace within
ourselves if we choose to deal with
these issues of our life whether it’s
one of them or all of them that we have
discussed it’s my prayer that you would
be willing to look at
yourself and make whatever decision you
know is why wise to deal with that area
or those areas of your
life now if you’ve never trusted Christ
as your savior that’s number one and I
want to encourage you to ask him to
forgive you of your sins and tell him
that you’ve messed it up you you tried
to do it it hasn’t worked and you want
to start with step number one in
discovering your peace with
him and then be willing to look at
yourself and say God I want to deal with
this Lord I want to deal with that
Lord Lord I I I want I’m I’m going to
deal with this and you know what he’ll
show you exactly what to do and how to
handle it and then he I’m tell you
what’s going to happen then you’re going
to wake up and look in the mirror and
you’re going to think H something’s
different same old beard or same old
face but something’s different you know
what’s different when the inside
changes you cannot keep it hidden you
can’t keep it hidden why because that’s
the real you coming out and you’ve
discovered peace and you can’t hide it