I’m just going to say I’ve been married

42 years our sex is better in our 60s

than it was in our 20s I’ve lived both

ends of the spectrum I have lived Loose

as a promiscuous pre-marriage and I have

lived loved in a marriage and I’m going

to tell you loved is better I love how

God he never says sex is wrong he says

do not arouse or awaken love before

it’s time sex is more than physical it

is spiritual well why does sex even

matter well first of

all welcome to the fight for female and

today we’re going to be talking about

something that everybody should love

we’re going to be talking about sex and

you know the truth is sex used to be

about male or female but now we don’t

call making love or intercourse we call

it sex we we don’t refer to it as

something that is around a covenant of

marriage we’re going to talk about who

thought up sex who design sex are we

supposed to enjoy sex is sex only for

the men is it just for when you’re young

what does it mean to have a fulfilling

sex life well why does sex even matter

like is it really just this physical

thing or does it actually develop

something within us and maybe even bring

God into our relationship is that too

much to say no it’s not I see I don’t

believe sex is just physical and

actually they’ve proved genetically that

when you have a sex with someone you’re

actually sleeping with them and

everybody they have slept with for seven

years so it is a linking physically but

it’s also a linking of the souls and God

doesn’t want you linked in your soul

with 1,800 people he wants you linked

with your husband sex is a spiritual

experience it is a soul communion and it

is a physical Union and that really

matters sex is more than physical it is

spiritual you know what I’m hearing I’m

hearing that married people have the

best sex so okay I’m going to say

something shocking if you had told me in

my 20s that I would be enjoying sex more

in my 60s I would not have believed it

have we allowed culture to Define what

sex is for us to say when we should have

it how we should have it have we allowed

it to be distorted when God actually

wants us to enjoy sex and I believe you

can build a sexual Legacy my husband and

I have been able to build a sexual

Legacy a sexual Legacy of intimacy that

we actually see each other through eyes

of intimacy not eyes of lust and I want

that for each and every one of you I had

so many young girls when I was younger

they would come to me and they would ask

me different questions around sex they

would ask me how am I going to build

this into my marriage and I would tell

them you don’t want to actually start

something in your sex life that you

can’t maintain in your 70s they’re like

what are you talking about I said well

pole dancing and a thong might work in

your 20s I don’t know that anybody’s

going to want to see that in your 70s so

I said you want to wake up your sexual

life in the realm of intimacy not in the

realm of lust okay I want I want you to

know I’ve lived both ends of the

spectrum I have lived Loose as a

promiscuous pre-marriage and I have

lived loved in a marriage and I’m going

to tell you loved is better marriage is

better I’ve enjoyed sex more in my

marriage than I ever did in my

promiscuous past and I want the same for

you and most of us had an encounter long

before we wanted to have an encounter

with our sexuality in the realm of lust

before we ever had a chance to have it

wake up in the realm of intimacy I love

how God he never says sex is wrong he

says do not arouse or awake and love

before it’s time sex has a Time and the

right thing which is sex in the wrong

time becomes the wrong thing so I love

talking about this I love seeing a

generation where it comes to the place

where they redeem their sexuality I did

not navigate my sexuality well I still

remember I still remember the first time

that I saw pornography in my best

friend’s house her father had Playboy

magazine and I and I want you to know

that pornography has a calling voice if

you have it in your house your children

are going to find it and and I I know

you think that’s just silly I’m going to

tell you a story about me I got to

babysit my brother and when I babysit my

brother who was 7 years younger than me

the big bonus was I get to sleep in my

parents’ bedroom and watch TV to my

heart’s content I could watch until I

like they got home from the party and so

I would be in the room I think I was 10

I’m actually looking back and thinking

why were they letting me babysit a

threey old when I was 10 but anyway I

was in their bedroom and I was watching

a show and I just felt like I should

open that drawer my parents had like

nine drawers and I felt like I need to I

need to open I need to open that

specific drawer and so I went over and I

opened the drawer and I just saw you

know closed neatly folded and so I

closed it and then I felt no open it up

again and lift up a particular section I

opened the drawer again I lifted it up

and I found pornographic material now

what’s crazy it wasn’t my dad’s drawer

it was my mom’s drawer and because I was

a confrontive

child when I fell asleep but the next

morning I stormed into the room and I

opened up the door I like what is this

what are you looking at but I had looked

at it and I had read it and it had

confused me something horrible you do

not want your first encounter to be

broken and if if it does like it like

mine was that will push forward and so I

want you to know that you can actually

put it back to sleep and reawaken it in

the realm of love maybe your sexuality

was awoken through abuse or pornography

or way too soon God longs to put it back

to sleep Zephaniah 3 17 says the Lord

your God is mighty to save he will

rejoice over you with singing he will

quiet you with his love I believe that

we can draw near to God God will sing

over us as we worship him and he can put

back to sleep what was awakened in the

wrong manner so that you can build a

life of intimacy and not wrestle with

the tension and the pressure of lust so

that is why we’re talking about sex you

know Christian this is something I never

really wanted to talk about when I had

boys I was like Yay I get to opt out the

sex talk I do not have to ever talk to

my children about sex and I thought okay

John this is all on John this John take

Addison out on a retreat John go ahead

do it with Austin and then I remember

the boys uh like first of we told

Addison not to say anything and of

course he said everything so that was

always confusing to the second born and

I remember

being like in the morning getting ready

and Addison comes down he’s like hey so

Mom Mom uh dad told me that he was a

virgin when he got married and I said

that’s true and he’s like were you a

virgin I was like what just happened

what wait why why am I in this

conversation and I remember thinking

what do I say to my son and then the

other boys are like what’s a virgin am I

a virgin I want to be a virgin I’m like

oh oh my gosh this is a nightmare and I

have not even had caffeine and I

remember thinking I have some options

here I can look at my son and say that’s

really none of your business which would

mean I was not or I could say that was

before I was a Christian which also

would mean I was not or I could tell my

son the truth about my sexual past not

the details the truth and the truth was

I was not a virgin but I wanted

something so so much more for him so

here’s the thing we can redeem our past

by positioning the Next Generation with

something so much more and sex is

important it is and again I don’t even

like to say sex intimacy sexual intimacy

is so important it is what weaves us

together in a marriage or it is what

pulls us apart in adultery

wow yeah did you know all that some of

it you know this topic never ceases to

entertain me at least with how you

handled it raising a boy myself but you

have Millennial boys so they’re not too

far off from what a lot of young people

are navigating when it comes to sex

right now so what I want to ask you is

why do you think sex is so misconstrued

as you were telling me even presented as

sex now we’re not calling it making

intimacy and why I think that is is

because I think about to the people in

high school and they’re like e like

that’s weird making love is weird but

sex is normal and I’m even thinking why

like why is the intimacy Factor the

weird part rather than the lust so why

why AR we struggling yeah with intimacy

and sex well first of all we’ve removed

God from sex we’ve made it either that

you know like sex is wrong it’s wrong

the Purity culture like the Purity

culture and I get it like first of all I

was not a victim of the Purity culture I

was a victim of the other culture so I

was I was I was doing the promiscuity

route but when I became a Christian I

realized that there was a purity culture

that I had not been part of and somehow

there was toxic Purity so it became like

okay if you can’t give your husband your

virginity then you have no value well

that’s not that’s not the way God looks

at things and that was definitely my

story I had regret I had regret from my

choices that I had made when I was

single and now what we’ve done is we’ve

removed God from that area of our lives

and we’ve made you know the Guides of

pornography or Cosmopolitan I don’t even

know what the women look at now where

it’s it’s they’re like that’s my advisor

when it comes to sex and it is all about

self-gratification it is all about

taking it to the next level so you know

I mean I’ve heard some crazy things that

are going on right now like I don’t even

want to defile my audience with what I’m

hearing right now where where women are

putting on things that make them like

men to do things to men I mean things

that are so crazy my boys are like how

do you know these things I don’t know it

comes across my radar somehow but God is

not against us enjoying sex actually he

wants us to drink deeply from the wells

of intimacy it is so clear C where he

talks about the husband and the the wife

of his youth to take Delight in her but

we have a generation that’s like no sex

is wrong it’s wrong it’s wrong don’t do

it don’t do it and then magically for

Christians on their wedding day they can

do it we need to stop saying don’t we

need to start saying it’s not time it’s

a very big difference between telling

somebody for 15 years don’t drive don’t

drive don’t drive they no they’re not

going to drive

and then just telling him it’s not time

to drive yet when it’s time we’re going

to teach you and we have failed to teach

a generation how to be skillful with

their sexuality we have tried to hide

them away don’t look at girls don’t look

at guys don’t do this don’t do that we

have hid them away rather than trained

them and I worked hard to tell my boys

that your sexuality is one of your most

powerful things you will ever have don’t

squander it in your youth use it

correctly it is powerful it is it is not

something to be tampered with and I

think too many people think oh no my

youth is when I go for it yeah my youth

when I’m 15 and 21 and that’s what you

know it’s pretty much done by the time

I’m 25 if I get married sex is over no

no no when you get married you’re just

beginning to build something yeah did I

even answer your question I mean I was

following along with everything you were

saying you did say though that there’s a

difference between sex and lust and

intimacy and love and like this design

that got originated can you explain more

of what that difference is yes so I’ll

go with I’ll go with something that’s

not charged here so when I um I

breastfed all of my boys until they

asked me to stop ardin was two and a

half and I remember I we were again we

were poor we are traveling so I wasn’t

going to ever introduce food until I was

ready to give it to them on a regular

basis and so I believe that sexual

things are an appetite and it’s an

appetite that’s not supposed to be

awakened until you’re going to actually

have it on a regular basis and I felt

like as a as a married couple you do not

want to develop a sexual appetite I mean

you you can want each other because

you’re you’re you’re looking forward to

getting married but when you have

already awoke something in the wrong

season that appetite that is developed

is not a healthy appetite it is an

appetite of lust it is an appetite of

taking and then you know I hear a lot of

talk Christian about masturbation

whether it’s masturbation at by singles

or masturbation with married couples I

mean there’s a lot of people like it’s

it’s a gift it’s a gift you know I I’m

just I’m just going to tell you this

John I are very big Believers that if we

are a part too much that we deserve each

other’s passion when we get home we’re

not going to cheapen it with some

something happening on the road without

me or without him no if you cannot have

self-control you should not be away from

each other that much and if what is

wrong with longing what is wrong with

wanting somebody what is wrong with a

husband calling a wife and saying I miss

you I can’t wait to be with you when my

husband says that to me I know what he

is saying I miss holding you I miss

being physically intimate with you why

would we spend it on ourselves rather

than share it with one another and then

there’s people that I I get it you’re

you’re single and you’re saying I I just

I feel alone well I told my boys listen

when it comes to masturbation people

want to know is it a sin or not a sin I

always told my boys it’s a shadow

it’s something that you do in the dark

it’s something that will cross the line

between you and your future wife or your

future husband and it will train you to

be selfish not giving and so we have to

talk about intimacy being developed

between two people not I develop my

intimacy over here you develop your

intimacy over here and then hopefully

when we come together we’re compatible

no you you build that together and that

means you can actually talk you can

actually talk and say things like I I I

don’t like that or I do like this or you

know we need to have the ability to

communicate not think our husband or our

wife is is a magician and just guessing

everything right I feel like I just said

way too much there’s so much that are

like in the explicit songs that’s like

oh well it’s okay okay to talk about

this but then when we’re with our

husband and wife we feel like oh we

can’t talk about that and it’s so

interesting to me but I’m going to ask

you a question I never ever planned on

asking you but you bring up such a good

point on longing and I think that’s

harder especially as we’re seeing

couples get married later in later in

age like that’s extending your time

longing of course those but maybe they’d

get married earlier if there wasn’t

Alternatives she said it she said it

okay my question though is you talked

about traveling obviously you and John

travel a lot and have travel for a long

time when you have that longing is it

problematic to introduce like now I

don’t even want to especially talking to

my mother-in-law I don’t even want to

talk about all the things that are out

there but like people use technology of

oh we will still be intimate but we’ll

introduce it a vibrator or something is

that what you’re saying or like txting

and sending photos and things like that

like do you feel like that cheapens

intimacy I feel like it cheapens it and

I feel like it’s a slippery slope like I

I know that um and this is again I I

know I’m 64 but I have had conversations

when I was younger with other people

well I know that there were some women

that were like I don’t have a problem

with a vibrator because my husband

doesn’t satisfy me well he’s never going

to satisfy you if you bond with a

battery or operated plastic thing like

you need to actually enjoy each other

and if if you’re doing that it’s going

to become easy and easier to go to that

instead of go to him yeah hey I am so

excited the fight for female reclaiming

our divine Identity book is now

available I am so excited that you can

get your hands on this message it is

filled with practical wisdom and

conversation so many people are like

Lisa thank you so much I didn’t know how

to say or what to say and so I’m hearing

the reviews super exciting you can grab

your copy today on Amazon yeah why not

add a person or a show in there and that

kind of is a slope it goes down and it’s

it’s not it’s not it’s not the way we

want to build I mean what are you

building again the what is the focus

gratification and I think there’s I

think there’s just so much lost when we

make it like is SE so when is sexing

with my husband when I’m not with him

well maybe like I want another guy to

appreciate me too yeah exactly no uh

watching another couple have sex oh to

to build our erotic memory no no you are

W you are watching something you’re not

supposed to see mhm we do not watch

other couples have sex to enrich our sex

life yeah for while that might work but

then there’s going to always be

comparison and contrast and fantasizing

about another person instead of the one

you’re with MH I feel like what’s common

with young women especially is the

romance novels right now so maybe you’re

not even seeing it but you’re reading it

which to me is even more Vivid in your

mind’s eye than something someone

captured in a scene but what I hear as

the argument if you will is well it

helps us learn and we need to know but I

don’t think you really need to be taught

something that’s innate that you can

discover together I would 100% agree and

then comparison is a thief of Joy

theater Rosevelt made that very clear

that also goes into your sexual life

when you read these novels because I

made the mistake one time I was so

excited I got an iPad I was flying to

Australia so I saw these free books and

I was like oh my gosh I’m downloading

these books I’m going to read them it’s

going to be exciting and it was like the

Lost Princess or something and I started

reading it I’m like wait a minute this

is porn this is porn literature you know

how did this happen and they were they

were giving him away

free so that you’d buy more and I you

know I was like delete delete delete but

it com immediately is like well why

doesn’t my husband want to have sex 85

times a week like what what’s going

would you really want no I wouldn’t but

I’m just thinking like you read these

ridiculous

scenarios and you’re like well I don’t

feel like my husband wants me or or I

don’t feel like my wife wants me and you

know when you’re looking at you’re

paying to look at another woman who is

taking away your power to be intimate

with your wife I mean let’s just talk

about that the adulteress let’s just say

up porn star adulterer fornicator it is

taking away your power to form intimate

bonds with your wife or your husband you

know and so we don’t want to do that and

I do I do feel uh from everything I’ve

read when I was working on the fight for

female they say we have a generation

having more virtual sex and very little

actual

[Music]

sex now we just sit with that for a

moment and they’ve got sex Robots coming

out it’s a new

thing it’s a new thing just need to go

back to oldfashioned making love I’ve

even read that men that dabble married

or single that dabble with pornography

and masturbation have a huge increase in

erectile dysfunction and so I feel like

that hinders what you were saying

earlier it hurts your marriage so what

are the other things that you and John

have seen that either you guys decided

hey we’re cutting this out to increase

our intimacy or we’ve seen this in other

scenarios be warning signs that you

would say if you’re a married couple or

you want to get married do not do this

so you can have a thriving sex life well

definitely don’t watch porn that is not

going to help you and and I I know I’ve

heard so many couples say oh we just you

know it’s just we watch it together we

enjoy it together then we act it out I’m

like no you just had a for some like

what is going up this is no that is not

good you know and when job said I made a

covenant with my eyes that I would not

sin against God not sin against my wife

we make covenants with our eyes now I

will say for

us I’ll I’ll say for

me being a mom having little kids

traveling and

speaking there have been times when my

husband would say I miss you I’m like oh

crap that sounds that sounds like work

when you come home that sounds like just

one more thing just one more thing but

we I had to remind myself Lisa you enjoy

sex it needs to be a priority it needs

to be something that you give time and

attention to whether you feel like it in

the moment so we kind of develop what we

call the five minute Rule and this is I

just tell my

husband you’ve got five minutes to get

me in the mood and if you get me in the

mood you can have me and so it’s like a

contest he’s about I can do that and I’m

like and there’s times I’m like oh no

but uh but I want him to know that I’m

will willing that I’m willing even if I

think I’m not able and there’s been

times where both you know little kids

were like I would I would love to have

sex but if we can just find each other

in the middle of the night that’d be

great because I’m just too tired right

now and you know John are both like we

understand so if you have young kids and

you’re too tired you need to find a

different time you need to there needs

to be a different Arrangement and um

like whether it’s while they’re at

school or there’s a moment where you put

on a show for them or I don’t know but

if you are always too tired then then

you’re going to have to carve some time

out because it is worthy of your

attention you don’t and sex is an

appetite and we don’t want to shame our

husbands for having a desire or shame

our the wives for having a desire um we

want to make sure that it stays healthy

and starve it you don’t want to starve

it yeah

yeah so I mean for us we just kind of

remind our like sometimes we’ll

say we had sex we need to have sex like

oh my gosh we haven’t had sex for a

while that’s right oh we need to make

that happen like we just it’s kind of

like a joke but it’s serious yeah we’re

like we we need to make sure that

happens and um with the travel and stuff

but you know we have to be like all

right this is important yeah because we

not going to see each other for 10 days

or whatever the the span of time is and

so having it as a PRI priority is huge

but understanding it’s a principle that

builds intimacy and Legacy I think is

the the most important that if you have

built your marriage on lust like we

talked about whether it’s what you’re

wearing or how you’re per you know

whatever that that is if you’re building

it on something that you can build in

your 20s that you cannot maintain in

your 70s it’s going to be so I always

have said awaken it in the realm of

intimacy and beauty and so intimacy and

beauty and again I’m not saying you

can’t have you know like lingerie or

whatever I’m just saying make sure how

you awaken it is how you can maintain it

make sure the appetite because I think

the wife is actually responsible for

developing the appetite of her husband

what she feeds him like what I feed John

foodwise is the same thing is like I’m

going to do that presentation you know

I’ve always heard the best marriage

advice is yeah pasta s serve food naked

you just just like do it I have not done

it not done it but I’ve heard that like

men love food knock on the door before

dinner time I will not just show up

we’ll have to start locking but yes no I

I’m joking I’ve not done it you don’t

need to be a worri but the principle

behind that

being that that you could have fun you

can have fun and I think that every

single poll when a Christian is involved

in a relationship with a loving mate

every single poll says that Christians

actually have more enjoyment of sex than

non-christians and married couples have

more frequent and more enjoyment of sex

than non-married wow isn’t that

crazy I interviewed um TAA Kyle not too

long ago on another podcast and she was

sharing just some really great I wish I

had them in front of me but stats on how

men actually you know they there is an

appetite and there is so much free

buffets out there right now that I think

many women even listening to this are

thinking well I don’t even know a man

that wants to be with me intimacy as his

wife because he has all these other

options out there but she was saying how

men can have sex um casual sex and not

be affected by it women actually cannot

because of their wiring but when a man

gets married he finds this new

fulfillment within commitment and so I

think there’s something there in what

you’re saying on community

where when we actually know how to serve

each other with intimacy that’s not just

physical like I feel like you’re in

John’s spiritual intimacy feeds your

physical your emotional yeah intimacy

feeds your physical yeah and our purpose

and then you know I I love what you what

you were saying like I I think that sex

is about meeting my needs intimacy is

about serving the other person and your

needs are met in the process like if I

have SE sex with my husband if if for

some reason he doesn’t think it was

fulfilling for me it’s he’s not happy

like he wants me to have enjoyed it as

much as he enjoyed it he’s not going to

be like hey I’m a man and I’m going to

enjoy this whether you want to enjoy it

or not this is your marital Duty he’s

not doing that to me he’s like I want

you to enjoy it I he wants to build a

good memory he wants it me to want to

have sex with him more and my husband

thinks that you know this is what’s so

funny about John John sees me so much

through the legacy of love that he

literally probably thinks that I have

the same body ahead of my 20s like he’ll

say things like your body is just the

same like that is such a lie I’m gonna

let you think that I’m GNA let you think

that you know and he because he sees it

through years of love he sees it through

caring his children I mean I’ve got some

scars on my legs where it looked like I

was clawed by a tiger that are stretch

mark

and he isn’t like o those stretch marks

you need to take care of the he’s like

one time I was like look at this they’re

they’re migrating down my leg and he’s

like don’t show that to me and I said

why not he said because that’s not how I

see you he said I see I don’t see any of

your flaws I just see you and that is

like that is love seeing one another in

the best light M so I’m sure there’s

some dating or unmarried couples

listening

this I want to know what was the advice

you gave your boys that you would give

someone that’s not yet in the married

realm that’s still wanting to protect

and cultivate a healthy intimacy well

first I lied to my boys I I’ll just be

honest with you I lied to them at first

I was like hey you get AIDS by kissing I

mean I was like be afraid women are just

going to take your money just don’t

worry I’ll just arrange marriage started

the toxic Purity culture there it is did

I did I said I’m going to embrace the

toxic Purity culture for my sons and uh

and then I was like this is not helping

like this is not going to serve us lying

to my children is not going to help them

and so I I started to actually just say

what do you what do you want as marriage

what do you want to build into the

future like what what is your hope what

is your hope and talking to my boys and

saying like I remember John telling the

boys you if you involve pornography now

and masturbation now it’s going to go

into your marriage and I remember spefic

specifically your husband was like what

it’s going to go into my no I don’t want

that in my marriage and he was like

exactly so let’s actually build Legacy

that you want to live with and our our

boys had accountability with each other

uh we did open door policy which some of

my sons still enforce on me when they’re

at my house that was more about they

were sharing room as brothers they would

just help each other Steward their

sexuality and we would also give our

boys books to listen to as they went to

sleep at night so that their mind was

fixed on the right things and not just

left to wander I also made sure that I

was very careful with giving my boys

physical affection physical affection

when kids go into that weird awkward

State when they start smelling and

they’re teenagers they are desperate for

physical affection and you’ll kind of

like try to push them away they need you

to hug them and hold them and listen to

them and rub their backs at night and

just sit with them they need it more

than you understand and if you don’t

give it to them they’ll substitute the

sexual and so we want to be present and

aware but we told our boys like listen

we we were negligent in certain areas

that we want you to be skillful with we

told our boys all your friends are going

to act like they know everything they

don’t if you want to know more than your

friends come come to us then we had to

make a promise that when they came to us

and ask us shocking and alarming things

that we were not going to ask for names

or take phone numbers we would just

listen other things that we did with our

boys is we would tell them tell them

that we loved each other that we enjoyed

each other I would celebrate my husband

in front of my sons I would say guys I

don’t need look at your dad look at your

dad he just gets cuter every single year

I don’t I don’t know how I haven’t been

pregnant 10 times my boy are like that

is so weird and I would say well I’m

sorry this is just the truth what was I

doing what was I doing I was not just

celebrating my husband I Was preparing

my sons for how they should be treated

by a woman a woman that would celebrate

them rather than demean them or

manipulate them a woman who would say

look how cute he is that would

compliment them in front of other people

and I don’t want to shame men or women

for celebrating one another’s beauty or

strength and so that was really really

important for me to model and then using

every opportunity every opportunity to

teach my boys so much so much of what

they saw in their lives what they saw in

high school what they saw in movies what

they saw was opportunities to say what

about what are your thoughts on that

choice they made what were your thoughts

on that what what what do you what could

have what could have been different if

people made a different choice in that

moment and then we always told our kids

no matter what choices you make you

never have to hide from our presence you

can always come back to us you can

always bring shame or fear to us and we

will help you navigate it don’t take it

to the dark because it grows in the dark

bring it to the light bring it to us and

we’ll pray with you will’ll navigate it

with you and uh you know all of my boys

I know they they are loving their wives

well they’re probably loving their wives

uh better than than John and I knew how

to love one another and I remember when

one of my sons got married he actually

called me from his honeymoon and he was

like this is amazing I was like I I

don’t really feel like I’m supposed to

be part of this conversation but the

fact that he had waited and she waited

they were celebrating so much of their

intimacy together and to me that was so

sweet that they had no shame and they

were not just celebrating it together

but they were calling me to celebrate

which I was like wow okay that’s the

next level I did not call my mom and

celebrate we were back in the garden

there’s no shame so much celebration

they not shame yeah you know maybe

you’re listening and you’re saying hey

that’s great for Christian and that’s

great for you Lisa but I have messed up

over and over and over again I’m

actually even at the place where I am

ashamed to go to God I’m I’m looking at

pornography I’ve been promiscuous I’ve I

don’t know maybe even cheated on your

husband I’m just going to tell you that

God wants to get involved I don’t

believe you’re watching this by any

accident but if you have been involved

in a sexual nightmare I’m not going to

hand you a list of rules I’m going to

invite you to fight the way God fights

nightmares he fights them with dreams I

believe I I believe with all of my heart

that God can take the dirtiness and the

shame of our past and he can flip it for

a redeemed and enjoyed and beautiful

future yes do i do I have regrets you

know I to be honest with you I have

regrets I wish I wish I would have done

differently but the truth is I took it

and instead of allowing shame to hinder

me or trap me in the unhealthy ungodly

patterns I redeemed it I redeemed it and

said all right I want more for the next

generation and if you’re in that

position and you’re listening to me I

believe that God wants to recalibrate

your life I believe that if you will

lean into God and I did communion I did

fasting and I did worship I said God you

know what you are the one that is going

to satisfy me I’m going to lay my

sexuality at your feet and I’m going to

believe that the lust that has driven me

is no longer going to be my master I’m

going to Crucify My Flesh that doesn’t

mean we stab it that doesn’t mean we

whip ourselves it means that I say hey

I’m going to deny myself and I’m going

to take up the cross I’m going to follow

you and I’m going to lean into worship

and I’m going to believe that you can

sing that lullabi when my boys were

little and they had a nightmare and they

came into my room and said mom Mom I had

a nightmare I didn’t say oh my gosh

here’s the rules here’s the rules there

are no monsters here’s the next rule you

don’t bother your mom in the middle of

the night here’s the third rule you

don’t talk about nightmares no I went

into their room if John was home or if

they if John was gone I pulled him into

my bed and what did I do I told them

stories and I sang them songs to put

back to sleep what had been awakened in

the wrong man manner in the wrong way

and we have a generation right now that

is experiencing a sexual nightmare all

you have to do is go through Instagram

and you can see the confusion you can

see the fear you can see the Distortion

and God wants to rescue that generation

not with rules but with dreams and so

you’re that woman you’re that young

person you feel messed up you’ve messed

up I’m going to tell you right now God

can do a healing in a single moment you

can actually enter into a whole new

season I love how David said to to God

cleanse me cleanse me and I will be

clean see a lot of times God says I’m

I’m willing I’m willing to cleanse you

when he like yeah but what we but I

still remember the I still remember what

I did I still remember the shame he’s

like hey I do not condemn you now I’m

empowering you to go and sin no more to

leave a life of Shame and Shadow

Jesus says go and sin no more he’s not

like do it again you’re under the rock

pile he’s not saying that he’s saying I

believe better things I do not condemn

you go and sin no more you can be

empowered to go and sin no more but you

will never be empowered by rules that

con strain you outwardly you will be

empowered by the love that compels you

so I’m just going to challenge you to

receive the love of God to receive the

washing what what does God tell us he

said though your sins be like Scarlet

Scarlet I’ll make them white as snow he

said come let’s reason together he’s

saying you can’t make yourself clean you

can’t I’ll make you clean invite him

into your life invite him to that area

of your life pornography

masturbation literature I don’t know

what you’re doing I don’t know where the

dark hole of Shame is there is no pit

you can dig for yourself that is beyond

his reach of rescue invite him into that

place and watch what he will do in your

life well we hope you have enjoyed this

episode and we want to bring you content

that is lifegiving and interesting so if

you are enjoying these episodes please

make sure that you subscribe rate a

review and we will see you on the next

episode of the fight for female podcast