Should Women Be SILENT in the Church?!

Get the first 2 chapters FREE here: https://3szn.short.gy/38m0vo Grab Your Copy of The Fight for Female: https://amzn.to/3WRRd5L _______________ Join the waitlist for Lisa’s upcoming book The Fight for Female: https://lisabevere.com/fight-for-fema… __________________ “A woman in the pulpit with the name of Jesus in her mouth is a witch.” That was a comment I received after ministering in church! But why is Christ’s name (the name above all names) suddenly wrong if spoken by a female minister? Should women be silent in church? Does this mean they cannot speak at all? Many Christian women have struggled to find their voices, feeling scared to speak up from fear of what people might do or say—If you’ve ever felt this way, you’re not alone! In this episode of The Fight for Female, you’ll discover how YOU can and should use your voice as a woman to spread the name of Jesus. 00:00 No Talking! 00:39 Why Women Need to Speak Up 16:51 Comments About Women Preaching 21:44 Understanding Woman’s Voice in Scripture 25:25 Woman’s Fallen Form Is Manipulation and Seduction 27:40 Egalitarian vs Complementarian 29:14 Who Is the Head? 29:58 The Synergy of Male and Female Voices 31:32 Breakdown of Traditional Roles 32:26 Households Where Men and Women Don’t Know Their Roles 37:45 A Voice of Authority in Every Season 39:52 Lioness Roars for a Specific Reason 40:29 Encouragement to Be the Generation of Woman Who Use Their Voice

I remember somebody saying to me that a

woman In a Pulpit with the name of Jesus

in her mouth is a witch let’s just break

that down can women preach this is an

important conversation to have we have

so much contention around this idea I am

a pretty literal person so when you hear

things like women are to be silent in

the church that sounds like from the

moment they step into the building no

talking like no absolutely no talking I

believe that all women

are welcome back to the fight for female

podcast with Lisa bav the woman known

for her powerful voice but people may

not know this you didn’t just come off

the cuss ready to shout and point and

hand motions yes you but that wasn’t

always the case you had to actually find

your voice and cultivate it and in that

process people have been like why are

you preaching who do you think you are

and I’m really just curious one how did

you actually find your voice because I

think right now in this day and age

especially young women are trying to

find their voice but we’re hearing you

need to take your voice from men you

need to shout to be heard you need to be

fiercely independent but from the Bible

I read I don’t think that’s actually

true true and I’m curious how you

overcame

insecurity how you became the Le of here

we know and love to listen to yeah also

be there um well I want to I want to

step back a little bit because I do

think a lot of people think oh you just

were always this way or obedience to God

is a personality thing and it’s not it’s

an obedience thing John and I were he

was the youth pastor then he came from

youth to College and Career and John was

going to go on a trip to Trinidad and he

said Lisa I feel like the holy spirit is

telling me you’re supposed to speak to

the College and Career group when I’m

gone and I said absolutely not I am not

I am not speaking to the college care

nope I’m not going to do that and again

we you know I love Jesus and I never

ever want to disrespect or dishonor God

so I had scriptures in my head I suffer

a woman not to preach or teach or have

authority I’m like I am not going to be

that person I do not want to do that and

so John said well you know I really want

you to pray about it and I said no I’m

just going to say no and he said I I

really need you to pray about it so I

actually called the high school pastor

and the junior high pastor and asked

both of them to sub for me and they said

your husband told us that you might do

this the answer is no so John just said

Lisa I really need they need your voice

so I just wouldn’t answer wouldn’t

answer so John did this big buildup we

have a guest speaker it’s a mystery

guest speaker mystery and all these

people are like who is it they’re all

guessing who the big mystery guest

speaker is people that never come to the

youth you know colge career are going to

come now we have no idea there someone

famous and they’re coming and all I

remember was I was pregnant with Austin

I was sitting in the back of the room

when somebody puts a yes a tape in like

you know one of the the tapes that you

used to put in rolls the video and it’s

John introducing me and he said I’m so

excited that you guys are here my

favorite person my wife is going to be

speaking and Christian half the room got

up and left oh my and as I’m sitting in

the back they’re grabbing their metal

chairs they’re folding them they’re

throwing him in the stacking thing

they’re like I am not going to be here

listen to a woman and I was like I agree

let me go with you and they you know

filed past me I just remember I was like

sweating I was nervous and a couple of

our leaders were like it’s okay come up

so I got and I was so afraid that I

might say something wrong so I just read

scripture I tried to make it as fast and

as painfree as every as possible went

and got my son out of Nursery went home

um I remember I put Addison to bed we

had no curtains in our our master

bedroom because we had a fence around

our backyard and we didn’t couldn’t

really afford curtain so I had put these

little lace table toppers from Z’s up

with thumbtacks trying to to make it

look French country it didn’t it just

look ghetto but anyway I have it up and

you know I have the lights on I undress

I put on my pajamas I turn off the

lights I get into bed and somebody

pounds on my bedroom window that same

night that same night I hear Bang Bang

Bang on the window and I

freeze and I hear the Holy Spirit say

turn on the lights I thought if I turn

on the lights they’re going to see me

and I heard they need to see you I turn

on the lights I pick up the phone I

called the police and what happened was

some of the young men from the service

had come to my house and banged on the

window to let me know that women were to

be silent in the church and you the

police came we saw where they jumped

over the fence we saw where they climbed

back

over and John came home from Trinidad

and I you know crying this is what

happened this is why I didn’t want to do

this do you understand stand and John

listened to the whole thing and he said

you know I’m I’m really sad to know that

our College and Career Group which re

you that way may us one of the guest and

he said but guess you know even though

this has all

happened you you can’t be quiet mhm and

I said why not oh my gosh and he said

Lisa there are so many young girls

watching and waiting for a woman to find

her voice and they feel like right now

we have the same situation you already

mentioned we’ve got a lot of angry

voices and we’ve got a lot of silenced

voices we have a culture sexualizing

what it means to be a woman and at the

same time the church is silencing the

voice of its daughters and this is a

battle that women need to fight women

are the ones that are going to have to

make the right adjustments to tone down

the anger to be those that will lift our

voice with wisdom and kindness and not

anger and vengefulness and and men can’t

do that the women are going to have to

make that choice and and I remember at

the time feeling like John was just

cruel that he was just mean that he had

no understanding for my feelings or even

my safety MH and that has been a journey

that was the most I would say that was

the most time I’ve ever felt threatened

by it but it was just you know there’s

been so many incident is where my

husband has said to me you need to speak

up you need to say something if you

don’t say

something then somebody else will say

something I wrote my first book in

secret I typed it out my very first book

was a book called out of control and

loving and I was talking about facing

your fears so you could become fearless

and it was a journey for me because I

believe that the most terrifying thing I

could ever do in my entire life was get

up in front of people and speak and so

God was con constantly pushing me to do

the very thing I was afraid of and

people might think well why were you

afraid well I’d lost a night of cancer

when I was five so on top of feeling

like oh my gosh it might be sinful for a

woman to speak I also even if I was in a

closed room with only women I was afraid

I felt

self-conscious I can go back to when I

was 15 years of age and I was in high

school and I had to take either debate

or speech to graduate and I was so

nervous I said well I’m not going to be

able to stand up and argue I will just

do speech and I was so nervous that I

stood up in front of my class of maybe

20 students and I froze and the teacher

said you can go out in the hall and

compose yourself I was that like freaked

out but I didn’t go out on the hall and

compose myself I ran to the guidance

counselor and I said this is not fair I

only have one eye I cannot get up in

front of these students who call me one

eye and cyclops

the teacher the guidance counselor was

like you’re right I’m so

sorry I said I I just can’t do it and he

said well you’re not going to be doing

public speaking are you I said I will

never do public speaking he said okay

I’m going to wave the requirement for

speech and debate he said but you just

need to take another language arts and I

said okay I can do that and then I said

there’s another class I’m having a

really hard time and he said well what

is it I said typing typing is impossible

for me cuz back then we had the

typewriter and then we looked and I was

like I I can’t even tell my hands are on

the keys so the two things that I got

out of in high school typing and

speaking are the two things that I do

now and God actually loves to position

his daughters and his sons but his

daughter son we’re talking about

fighting for a female for them to find

the faithfulness of God and the courage

of the Holy Spirit when they face a

situation that they could never face in

their natural strength or ability

I’m curious how did you manage to get

back on stage after that whole incident

was that not just in the back of your

head of if I keep getting up I’m going

to keep absolutely and and like stage

would be the wrong ter like we’re

talking about rooms not really stages

but yeah John tricked me uh John went I

had I had my second son then I had our

third you know I was pring with Alec we

had done a road trip up to Rockingham

North Carolina and we kind of arrived

late and so John took a shower rushed

out and I was back in the motel room

with our two boys and just it was just

terrifying the hotel was a motel was was

a little hygiene challenged and I was

you know got the boys jumping like

finally went to sleep John comes back I

unlock the door let him in and climb

back in bed it’s like midnight yeah and

it was one of those beds where you have

to be on the edge because like it would

go down so like we’d roll into the

center and and crash into each other and

I’m pregnant anyway he said

Lisa he was like Lisa this was such a

rough place and I was like oh I’m so

sorry he said yeah he said there’s just

it’s just there’s so much legalism and

he said the women just seem so sad I was

like oh that’s sad and he said so I told

them you would do a women’s meeting

tomorrow morning and I’m like what no I

don’t do women’s meetings I don’t like

women I’m not doing a women’s meeting

he’s like well so I told the pastor you

would do a women’s meeting so you just

need to be ready

and I think I kept up till 2 a.m. like I

can’t believe you’ve done this to me

you’re going to do the women’s meeting

whisper yelling the kids asleep like

yeah hitting like kicking him in the bed

like if he rolled over on my side get

away from me I can’t believe you’ve done

this and John was like you better go to

sleep because you’re going to have to

get up so I remember he took the boys

out to eat somewhere and I’m kneeling on

top of the bed cuz the carpet was so

filthy and I was like God I can’t

believe I have to do this you know I

don’t like women you know I don’t like

and I heard so clearly back I like women

see God loves women and what we don’t

like about women is the things that God

never wo us to be and I was like of okay

of course you bought be like women you

made them and he said women are answers

to major problems and I thought no women

are major problems he was like I created

woman as the answer to the very first

problem

and that problem was it’s not good for

man to be alone if you begin to talk to

women like their answers and not like

their problems they’ll begin to behave

like answers and not like problems and I

remember that was a shifting of

everything in my life and then I said

but there’s no woman like I’ve never had

a woman be an answer to me I don’t know

how to be that woman and he said yes you

do he said write it backwards he said

everything you wish another woman would

have been to you early in your marriage

growing up raising young kids everything

write it down and I remember sitting

that in that motel room and writing down

the things that I wish another woman

would have poured into me and making a

decision to pour those things out for

another woman and that was really a

turning point for my heart towards women

and that was actually my motivation for

finding my voice because I had the

Revelation and the realization that

there had been a breakdown from one

generation to another and that God was

saying I don’t want a mentoring of Pride

I want a mothering of Brokenness and I

saw this this chain coming down from

heaven and then a empty space and then I

saw one loone link and he said this

needs to be reconnected and so you know

this is my hope for this podcast this is

why I love that I get to do it with a

younger woman who is in very different

season and that I can open up my life

and you don’t have to make all the same

mistakes but you can learn the lessons

I’ve learned the hard way in an easier

way because you’re going to have to do

your own you know I didn’t have to

wrestle with things like men thinking

they’re women or women thinking they’re

I I didn’t have that there might have

been a behavioral but I never saw a a

switching of the places and so you know

I really believe this is a Divine

conversation where the generations can

glean from one another because the

questions of the daughters is just as

valid as the answers that would come

from mothers I want to thank you for

having the courage to do that and I know

people right now would not assume that

you struggled in those areas would not

assume you know that you face backlash

because nowadays I will say it is more

well I want to speak and I want to do

that but you really have paved the way

as John said for helping women

especially in this this Camp find that

voice and find how to use it I think

more today the struggle is well how do

we do that well and how do we do it in a

god-honoring way because we do hear

those verses of well women are supposed

to be silent and even hearing how some

of the men responded my question is well

what are we scared of if that’s our

response is to attack and to threaten

like what are we really scared of and

empowered women I can clearly see how

we’re doing it now in society of how a

man would be threatened by that because

it is you have to take from a man or man

shouldn’t have any voice in you

submission is is wrong and there’s like

a whole conversation there but what does

it actually look like for women to be

empowered to use their voice well

because we know our voice is so vital if

we don’t learn how to do that well we

will turn to using it in ways that don’t

actually serve us or serve others so the

hope for this conversation is one to put

to rest can women speak or should they

be silent but also how can we speak

where should we speak and what should

our voices be doing and edifying and

strengthening in others because you do

that so well well I you know and I’m

gonna be honest with you I love that you

think I do it so well but I’m going to

say there’s times I’ve done it well and

there’s times I haven’t done it well but

the truth is I want to grow and I do

think this is an important conversation

to have rather than just be very

dogmatic about it um you know we have so

much contention around this idea and

it’s interesting I am a pretty literal

person so when you hear things like

women are to be silent in the church

that sounds like from the moment they

step into the building no talking no

like no absolutely no talking when you

drop off your kids you have to do hand

motions like you you pass a note like

this is

my you know and then because because no

talking women to be silent in the church

if we’re going to be dogmatic we need to

take legalism all of the way and that’s

the scary thing about legalism we’ve

also got this idea that when women you

know women are not to suffer wom not to

preach or teach our Authority I do feel

I do feel that some women have misused

their voice but so have some men yeah so

it isn’t so much about a gender so I I

want to like bounce some of the things

I’ve actually had people say to me I

remember somebody saying to me that a

woman In a Pulpit with the name of Jesus

in her mouth is a wit

so let’s let’s just break that down that

is actually number one putting a woman’s

gender as more powerful than the name of

Jesus and it’s also making the pulpit

something that it is not yeah there was

not even pulpits for the first like

thousand plus years of the church

history the pulpit is a a actually

relatively new thing so what there

saying is if a woman gets up and speaks

the name that is above all names somehow

it’s transformed into witchcraft so

that’s that’s the insanity that we’re

dealing with um you had me do a was it a

Tik Tok or real or whatever while the

question was can women preach yes women

can preach but most of the people came

back with the scriptures that said women

can’t pastor and so I think we also need

to differentiate I believe that all

women are empowered by their heavenly

father to declare the good news of the

Gospel of Jesus Christ whether they are

doing that publicly or whether they are

doing that in a Bible study whether they

are doing that at work whatever it is

that is part of being a disciple and

being a witness of Jesus and so I feel

like that it becomes confusing but more

recently more recently we were in the

car when I discovered all these do you

remember this more recently I was

speaking at a women’s event I was

speaking to 16,000 women in San Antonio

and some men started to get really

really angry and these were some of the

comments I got this was to me was really

hilarious because I had said um The

truth without love is Harsh and so this

was a response the truth is I do not

permit a woman to teach or exercise

authority over man rather she is remain

quiet for Adam was formed first then Eve

and Adam was not deceived but the woman

was deceived and became a transgressor

yet she will be saved through

childbearing if they continue in faith

and love and Holiness with self-control

so I actually wrote the guy back and I

said then I should be set because I have

birthed four sons and this is a women’s

meeting then I I’m like what in the

world is going on and then I had this is

the other one that uh and the truth is

is I said the truth of you know I said

we’ve got the church preaching uh truth

that love which is Harsh and I said the

the culture is responding to that by

preaching love without truth and then he

said he who hates truth more than women

preachers when the Bible clearly says

women should not

preach and then this guy comes in and he

said well I don’t care if it’s a women’s

meeting men are seeing it you have put

this social media on social media where

men can see it so he said don’t post it

where men might see it were you

preaching in a bikini I was not I was in

long sleeves and I was in pants which

also became an issue with that one the

Bible’s straightforward but I suffer a

woman not to teach or usurp authority

over the man but to be in silence please

listen to the word of God and stop

corrupting the

church and then I was like people

started jumping on this guy and said uh

you don’t have to come here this is a

you don’t have to come to a women’s

Instagram

and pause and hear her preaching to

women on women’s things and the guy goes

back and says it is corrupting the word

of the Lord God how do you not get it oh

there’s a drag show happening sorry

ma’am just walk by it if it’s not for

you you shall not stay silent when the

highest of evil is happening women

speaking and exercising authority over

men in the house of worship is

madness that that is the level so

apparently women preaching is worse than

a drag show and women preaching is the

highest form of evil so this is I wish I

wish I could tell you guys I was joking

about this but this was just a couple

months ago like it was in January I

think so this is something that we’ve

got to navigate as women where we can be

wise with the word of God we got to know

the

scripture we can’t answer back in

anger the thing here I I want to respect

is there is a lot of people taking

verses out of context or throwing it

aside to do their own will and so I know

I don’t want to take lightly that and

just say oh well you know it doesn’t

matter it’s relevant what we’re saying

is what is actually the context there

what I’m hearing in that context is

women should not be you know putting men

down they shouldn’t be trying to

overstep and and change the gender roles

there or the power that they have and I

think that’s actually more what’s going

on when women don’t know how to use

their voice well yeah because they they

will when women don’t know how to use

their voice well they will mimic the

man’s voice and we don’t need women who

sound like men we need women who sound

like mothers we need women who

understand the value of the feminine

voice the strength the wisdom the

kindness of the feminine voice and going

back to what you said if you notice the

two prohibitive scriptures that about

you know and it’s even clearly it’s Paul

says I suffer not a woman he doesn’t say

God suffers not a woman so he’s he’s

speaking specifically to a situation

where in the Greek culture they believed

the woman was first not the man they

believe that yeah the woman the woman

came first not the speaking to that

culture when it was talking about saved

during childbearing the they would go to

the the Temple of Diana to be saved

during childbearing and and he was

saying you no you don’t have to do that

you can trust God you can continue in

faith with that if we’re saved through

childbearing Jesus wouldn’t need to have

come everybody would have been saved by

women having child bearing that doesn’t

even make sense so what we have to say

is does that look like throughout the

scripture is that how God interact with

him and well you’ve already mentioned

you’ve got Deborah you’ve got Abigail

you’ve got Miriam who was a prophetess

who obviously was part of instructing

and leading who co-authored the very

first song all this kind of stuff so we

see God having women involved the very

first the very first I love this so much

the very first recorded Act of civil

disobedience

is the The Midwives where they refuse to

obey so they were like no so there’s

definitely this interesting Dynamic but

there’s also a fallen Dynamic and Jesus

came to seek and save that which was

lost not just the lost that which was

lost so now he’s coming and then you’ve

got acts 21:17 where Acts says in the

last days God says which kind of sounds

like God is saying hey I understand here

but now we’re in a new day where people

are born again where women are educated

where we’re in the process of restoring

I mean what does it say it says the

heavens must retain Jesus to the

restoration of all things and one of

those things the restoration we haven’t

seen of is death so we’re still in a

restoration process and he he’s very

clear the prophetic anointing of God

pouring out his Spirit on your sons and

your daughters and then at the very end

of that he even says on my men’s

servants and my made servants that they

would prophesy and I feel like we’re

making a lot of things complicated that

God made just very pure and very simple

because now we’re like well they can

prophesy if their head’s covering we can

they can prophesy if if a yeah there’s

there’s so much rules yeah where I see

Jesus always

interacting with so much love and

freedom and I think the key there too is

Sons and daughters when we forget the

and of course we’re going to be divisive

and um nitpicking every detail is

because we’re coming against we’re doing

a verses where it says to do an and yes

and I love how even Jesus addresses the

Pharisees it’s like when you were just

so fixated on the rules you miss the

heart yeah of the message and so this is

No Cry for us to say well they don’t

understand us and just anyone that

leaves a mean common is wrong and the

enemy but more of a lend to how can we

understand the heart and also make sure

we are walking in the way because the

Bible also gives examples of Jezebel and

Delilah and it does show when and Ahab

and I mean like you have to have both

like no no I mean it’s like when you

don’t use your voice well can lead to

destruction so it’s like how do we I do

know our voice and use it well yeah and

I do think women’s Fallen form is

manipulation and seduction I I mean I’m

going to be the first person to

absolutely seen it it and that is the

Fallen form right but The Godly form is

wisdom and influence and so we have to

bring women into full Redemption because

some of the ways I hear people preach

about women it almost sounds like the

blood of Jesus and his death was enough

to fully redeem men but women they’re

only partially redeemed so they got to

be saved through childbearing they got

to wear head coverings they’ve got to

you know whatever whatever that thing is

that is over and a top of what Jesus did

it feels like it just keeps getting

added as a layer where it is for Freedom

that Christ has set us free no longer to

be entangled again with a yoke of

slavery and what happened with the

galatian church is they started in the

spirit and then they started to take all

these different behaviors In the Flesh

to perfect themselves well if any of us

could perfect ourselves then Jesus

didn’t need to come die I I mean God is

not going to send his only begotten son

to die for the world if the world could

have figured it out on their own so

we’re think we’re acting like well now

we’ve got it figured out we’ll just be

perfected again with our own works when

we’ve proven that we can’t I I do feel

like there’s two major schools of

thought when you’re talking about women

and their roles in the Bible you have

got egalitarian and you’ve got

complementarian and egalitarians believe

that there’s basically no male or female

that I mean they believe they exist but

there’s no specific uh like a man can do

whatever a woman does a woman can do

whatever A man does in the church and

the body of Christ that they’re equally

uh empowered to lead or whatever then

there’s complementarian which it to the

extreme would be um only man only man

women is is still kind of hidden in the

man still kind of I’m kind of like if a

complementarian and an egalitarian got

married and they had a baby that’s how I

look at it I don’t like egalitarian and

I don’t like you know complementarian I

do believe that men and women have equal

value and different roles but I don’t

believe that the woman’s role is silence

I don’t believe that she has a role that

is non- Redemptive I don’t believe that

the woman’s role is prohibitive I

believe that the woman’s role is is more

fully realized now as she has uh been

born again and as she has been discipled

and and you know I mean they’ve even

gotten to the place now where they’re

they’re saying that a woman cannot have

a b you cannot have a woman’s Bible

study unless a man’s covering it

interesting I don’t know if you knew

that so if you’ve been going to a Bible

study and there’s not a man present you

need to stop no it’s just it Jesus is

either our head MH spiritually our

husband is the head in a marriage but

when you look at even that it is a

headship not for

self-benefit but to actually create an

environment for the wife and the

children and himself because when you

have your wife flourishing says if you

love your wife like your own body you

nurture and you care for it so there’s

these dynamics that you see in a

marriage that we should see reflected in

the church a dynamic in a family that we

should see in a church because God is

ultimately a father and I think

everybody keeps forgetting that right

and it should be this Synergy and I

think what’s beautiful is when you have

both voices complimentary and in tune

with their

specific design it’s almost like a

symphony where it’s like there’s a

Harmony there’s a balance which actually

heightens the tune it heightens the

magic it heightens this the beauty that

is within it where if one was silent or

one was dominating you wouldn’t have

that same effect right and if we go to

Nature even where it’s simple you don’t

have all the social nuances um you’ll

appreciate this one I know you like this

animal too but the lion I think is such

a beautiful example where the male is

this Hunter but you have the huntress

which if he’s the killer killer the

Lioness is the hunter hunter okay but

they do it in Synergy where I love the

example yes he Roars and she covers

actually his neck and I think how

beautiful if we do that where I see my

husband as and I know he sees me this

way too and we hear this a lot of even

like dating well I can pursue the man

and I can do he does sure you might

could but do we not see ourselves as

this prize this beauty which doesn’t

mean we’re less than or fragile but that

we are cherished and I wish more women

would see that whether it is in

relationship or it is in your identity

where you’re not less and this kind of

goes back to our other conversations

around equal and unique you have a

unique position in the female male

Dynamic and it’s beautiful it’s worth

pursuing yeah I think part of what’s

hindering that is we’re just saying men

can be women and women can be men but

that’s caused so much confusion well and

we have had a breakdown of traditional

roles and I know there’s a healthy

response in the Trad tradwife movement

and then maybe a little bit of an

Overkill in the tradwife movement but I

do think that it wasn’t wrong for women

to be provided for and

protected by men especially when they’re

bearing children I’m like oh my gosh

serious

my husband when I was in the first

trimester and like I was like if I get

out of bed without eating I will puke

everywhere he’s like no honey let me

make you breakfast let me bring it to

you in that moment I wasn’t like no how

dare you I can do it myself I was like

thank you I feel so much better well and

then once you’ve had a child yeah it’s

like you need you need your husband to

protect I want that support I want to be

seen I want to be comforted and that

actually helps me get stronger quicker

it lets me regain my strength yeah I

know Christian you may not know this

about me but when John and I first got

married uh he was working as an engineer

and I was I was completely close I was

like I have no idea what I’m doing what

I’m called to do and then I got an

amazing job and all of the sudden I have

this amazing job and I’m traveling and

I’m a rep for a Cosmetic Company but my

my parent company was Eli Lily and I’m

just everything’s happening I’m you’re a

girl B

yeah I’m a girl boss I’m you know I’ve

got the expense account I got the

company car I’ve got all this stuff

going and then I have a dream one night

and I have this beautiful dream that I

have a a beautiful baby boy and my heart

woke up and I decided I you know what

this this has been great for a season

but this isn’t my heart and I made a

change and we you know I I quit that job

turn in my notice start working at the

church where John was working and I was

working full-time for a while and he was

working part-time and I had had my baby

I was nursing my baby I was pumping my

breast at work I was feeding him on

lunch hour like I would go and nurse the

baby on lunch hour I made all the

organic baby food and John was working

part-time I’m working 40 plus hours I

was on salary

and I remember just beginning to stress

out and I was just like oh my gosh I’m

carrying all this weight and the baby

and I’m carrying this weight and you my

husband’s not working full-time and I’m

working full-time and and I remember one

particular night John was found asleep

and I reach over and I grab him I said

do you realize if you die I don’t have

enough life insurance on you and he was

like what are you doing you’re laying in

the bed thinking about me dying and said

yes I am because I was trying to just

run all of the gauntlet that if I can’t

control something I’m going to have to

find a way to control it and during that

time period I was so stressed out my I

swear my ears and my shoulders were

attached so I got one of those waterpick

shower massages I put it on my shower I

was letting the shower try to beat down

my shoulders I’m just trying to relax

finding any way nursing baby still still

going through all the stress taking the

baby to daycare because John would never

get him there on time or forget to

change his diaper I was like fine I’ll

just do it I’ll just do it I’ll just do

it I’m in the shower and I haven’t I

haven’t heard God speak to me I haven’t

experienced

peace and I

hear you don’t think John’s a good head

of the household do

you I thought this is an easy one no I

know he’s not and I heard you think you

can do it better I said I know I can do

it

better and then I heard John likes she

being the head of the household he said

all he’s ever known is a

mother and all he has ever known how to

act like as a little boy he said but

it’s a mantle to John Lisa mhm and it’s

a yoke to you throw it off your

shoulders and I remember thinking if I

throw this off my shoulders the diaper

is going to go up to the ceiling the

garbage will never go out the baby will

never be taken care of and then

Christian all of a sudden I saw this

rewind of my conversations with my

husband where I had

systematically in in some ways just

undermined his authorities in other way

emasculated his ability to actually make

mistakes or be a leader and I came out

of the shower that night and I was

crying and I I John was like reading in

bed or something and I just said I I’ll

quit my job I’ll quit my job tomorrow I

I just I I I want to be one again and I

remember John saying to me you don’t

need to quit your job but I do think you

need to quit thinking you’re the source

and we joined hands and I watched my

husband go from a boy to to a man when I

stopped being his mother and I started

to be his wife and I think so many of

these young girls have grown up in

household where the man doesn’t know how

to be a man he doesn’t know how to be a

father he doesn’t know how to be a

prider and the wife doesn’t know how to

be a mother or we have a breakdown where

women are telling men to be men but

they’re telling men to be men like they

want them to be men they’re not actually

telling them to be men like men should

be men they’re saying I want you to be a

man the way a woman thinks a man should

be and we’ve had this breakdown uh for

quite a while and this needs to be

spoken to and and women when they’re

feeling all this tension and all their

pressure because it used to be men died

of heart disease and women didn’t now

women are dying of heart attacks because

we are taking things

on that God is not asking us now what

having said that you can work fulltime

and have no stress when you know God is

your Source but you will always have

stress when you’re the source and I have

worked and been at peace and I have

worked and been completely stressed out

and peace is better just just going to

say that yeah and I do want to empathize

with women that say well culture is kind

of different now people like no one’s

proposing until we’re like in our 30s

there’s a time period when I’m not in my

parents household I need to work I don’t

think there’s anything wrong with that

especially like you’re saying if God’s

providing or he’s calling you to to

serve or to work but there is a point

and I think and when it is God’s timing

he highlights things because I thought

the same thing I was like I’m going to

have my baby and then I’m going to go

back and it’s going to be easy I would

be bored at home and for some people

they do that and for me I just had this

moment where I was like what is the best

stewarding of my time what is the most

important role right now and I’m so

thank that’s evolved and I do get the

chance to work and do things with with

women but it was just this realization

where you don’t have to choose it

doesn’t have to be this girl boss

independent or a stay-at-home mom

because for whatever reason growing up

it’s like oh that’s such a lesson roll

that’s so lazy I’m going to tell you

that is not I’ve done it is so hard and

but I’ve seen in this season as I’ve

recked up things and I felt the peace on

it before I was like there’s no way I

can do all this there’s no way I can

manage it and there’s no way I can be a

good wife and a good mom and I’ve been

shocked Lisa at how much peace I find in

things or there’s like there’s God ideas

and I can do more in two hours when he’s

napping than I feel like I could do

beforehand and like you said I think

when we limit how God can speak to us

and where he can use us we miss out on

seeing facets of who he is and letting

him be glorified through what we’re

called to do by thinking I’ve got to do

it all I’ve got to make a name for

myself and it can change and so I think

being open to that

and saying like Lord I just graduated I

got this degree how do you want to use

me right now I’m open to your plan I

want to use my voice but I don’t want to

feel like I have to control it or I have

to shout it because I think voice is not

so much about tone or place it’s about

Authority and I do believe and I believe

you believe this too that God gives a

certain type of authority to his sons

and to his daughters yeah and we speak

to different things and I think that I

mean going back to the lion I love that

both lions and lionesses both Roar it

isn’t just the lion that Roars and it

isn’t just the Lioness that they both

Roar but they Roar for different reasons

one Roars to say this is my territory

and I am I am ready to protect it that

is the lion’s roar he he calls out any

infringement any trespassing any danger

but the lionness Roars to call back the

Cubs that are lost and to affirm her her

Alliance to the lion and I feel like

right now we need a generation of women

who are saying I’m going to use my voice

yeah not to denounce the men not to

promote myself but to announce my

alliance to my king and I want to use my

voice to be protective of children

because more and more our children are

at risk and you know this is something I

got to Glimpse when I would go overseas

and see different things with sex

trafficking I realize that what we

tolerate for others comes to overtake us

and so if you don’t address something

when you see it you’re going to see it

in a different season and it will have

grown and so I think women need to

realize that God is asking his daughters

to use their voice to speak life and

strength and blessing to the sons and to

speak rescue to the children and to

speak

affirmation of encouragement to one

another I feel like women are sometimes

our own worst enemies they’re they’re

jealous they’re competitive and it’s

it’s a fallen thing it’s not how God

created women to be so I I just love

that number one voice is the first first

line of defense if somebody is trying to

abduct somebody the first thing they say

is don’t scream and it’s the first thing

you should do you should scream because

they know as soon as you use your voice

they’re going to be in trouble so the

enemy is always going to say to women

don’t speak don’t talk don’t use your

voice you cannot you cannot listen to

his intimidation When God says that he

gave woman a voice when he was like okay

I’m creating woman he didn’t say I’m

going to only have the man have a voice

and the woman gets no voice he was like

I’m going to need the man to speak to

certain things and the woman to speak to

certain things and there are things for

the men to address and speak to in

marriage in relationship in culture and

there’s things for the women to address

and speak to in marriage and

relationship and culture and we use our

voice to connect and also to protect and

so I I’m really excited about seeing

this turn where women are going to

recover their voice for the right

reasons and you know there’s been a lot

of anger but the wrath of man never

works the righteous purposes of God and

we’ve had a lot of angry women voices

and it’s actually ended up working

against yeah moving a healthy voice

forward I think this is so key to

understand and I’m actually excited as

the seasons go on we are going to

address some of those certain topics and

really how we can position those well so

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