Too many people get hurt by unfair judgments, criticisms, and straight-up gossip. How can we help minimize the damage? On this episode of Enjoying Everyday Life, Joyce Meyer shares biblical insights on human behavior. – – – – – – – Follow Joyce: WEBSITE: https://joycemeyer.org
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– – – – – – – Joyce Meyer, one of the world’s leading practical Bible teachers and New York Times best-selling author, shares encouragement and advice to help us enjoy our daily lives. With a heart to share Christ and love people, Joyce’s messages help people in all walks of life to grow in their faith, learn to study the Bible, find healing from the wounds of life, get answers to life’s questions and encounter the love of God in a powerful way. #JoyceMeyer#EnjoyingEverydayLife#JudgementAndCriticism
[Music]
having difficulty admitting when you are
wrong
do you know three of the most important
words that we can learn for
relationships is I was wrong
I do what I do because I’ve seen God’s
power transform my own life and he will
do it for you the key to everything is
found in God’s word I’m Joyce Meyer and
I believe that God can heal you
everywhere you hurt
[Applause]
what causes so much judgment and
criticism
I bet some of you would know the answer
starts with a capital p
Pride you got it pride
the only reason why we judge other
people is because we think
that we’re better
we look at what they’re doing and we
think we would never do that
our
we think we know more than they do
pride is the foundation for all
unrighteous judgment how many of you
realize that if we critically judge
somebody it’s almost always because we
can do something they can’t do
foreign
but they can’t do it if God did not give
them the ability to do it now I’m not
talking about your kids not cleaning
their room up and that kind of stuff but
but even in that you know there’s going
to be some kids that are going to be
more tidy than others
I mean I had a daughter that was a
first-class slob I mean she just
not had I still have her and uh
oh my gosh the girl was so messy it was
pathetic I mean she couldn’t keep up
with anything and you know what’s funny
she now works for me
and helps keep my life organized
yet she’s given herself a title you know
what it is the momager
he manages mom
and I would have never in my wildest
imagination ever thought that that girl
could have ever managed anything let
alone me
so I’m just telling you right now if you
leave God Alone
and let him be God
and just pray
you’ll be amazed if you’re willing to
love people where they’re at
what God can do to get them to where you
would actually like them to be
but they never will be if you keep
trying to make it happen because you
know the more you try to make somebody
do something the more they’re not going
to want to do it
has anybody noticed that
so especially that way with men because
of male ego
oh I just couldn’t help myself I had to
say it
seven symptoms of pride
a critical person is proud
a fault-finding person
is proud
a harsh person
somebody who’s just hard on people who’s
legalistic and
has too many rules and regulations about
the way they want everything done
we shouldn’t be harsh
Paul wrote to Timothy and he said
if you need to correct somebody do it
with courtesy and do it with gentleness
so even when we talk about confronting
people or talking to them about sin or
dealing with them about something don’t
ever try to do it unless number one you
pray first
you make sure it’s what God wants you to
do you make sure you have the right
timing
because I can tell you timing is
everything
you don’t want to talk to your man about
something when he has gotten stuck in a
traffic jam
and has been on the highway for two
hours
and he comes in the door mad and hungry
and that’s when you decide to tell him
off it’s not going to work
but I’ve had instances where I’ve
finally learned I don’t just go talk to
Dave about anything I want to at any
time I pray first
sometimes you pray about it first God
takes care of it and you don’t have to
do anything
imagine that God answers prayer and uh
but then if I if I wait till I feel the
time is right
it’s amazing how people will listen if
you do it the right way but you can’t go
in with a haughty attitude
so you can’t be harsh
feeling that you need to constantly
teach other people or give them advice
is a symptom of pride
on the other hand if we are offended by
the advice that people try to give us
then that’s Pride on our part
and out of balance need to correct
people
is a symptom of Pride and having
difficulty admitting when
you are wrong
do you know
three of the most important words that
we can learn for relationships is I was
wrong
you guys need to practice that I could
tell that didn’t go over too good
you all look like I threw a rock at you
like
can you say that I was wrong
okay let’s talk for a minute about
rumors
matter of fact let’s talk about social
media and rumors
first of all first Timothy 5 19 says
don’t listen to an accusation
unless it’s presented
and confirmed by two or three Witnesses
that was good we had a good amen amen
and then it needs to be reliable
Witnesses
you know it took me a while to get here
but the first thing I say now when
somebody calls me with a stupid story
about somebody that I
love and admire
I don’t believe that
I don’t believe that and I’m not going
to believe that unless I have proof
and I had somebody do that just oh maybe
nine months ago
called me and told me that somebody that
I know very well did such and such and
thus and so and I just said I’m sorry
but I don’t believe that
I said you got your story wrong
your information is wrong and I said if
I find out they did do it then I will
confront them but
I’m not going to believe it until I
check it out for myself
and so I got right on the phone and I
called this person
and I said this is what I’ve heard
I don’t believe it
but I want to know from you
it was straightened out within a few
minutes I call the first person back
and I said you were wrong
and don’t tell that to anybody else
now how much better is that than
somebody tells you a rumor and you’re
like oh I can’t believe it
and then the first person you see is you
are not going to believe
come on as Christian people we should
not be behaving like that this is some
of the stuff that we’ve got to get out
of the church because it’s not God’s
will for us to behave that way
[Applause]
how much better would it be the next
time somebody brings you a rumor about
your pastor or I don’t know me maybe
you’ll hear hey there was a rumor on
social media not several months ago that
I was dead
yeah it was out there big Joyce Meyer
has died
I mean we were getting did you see that
and I had to get on social I had to get
on do a Facebook live thing and say I’m
not bad
I’m right here
[Applause]
I mean let’s let’s I mean dumb stuff
let’s just say that that somebody
says well I saw the pastor’s wife with
another man last night
well don’t know it could have been her
brother
why you know there’s something wrong
deeply wrong inside somebody when they
have to say something like that
especially with that kind of a tone and
when you start hearing that kind of
stuff from Christians that’s a good
indication for somebody that you don’t
want to spend a lot of time with and you
need to get away from
and I think that’s a situation that it’s
perfectly right to confront if you know
somebody in the church that is a gossip
that spreads rumors that starts Strife
if I were you I would tell them that
kind of behavior is wrong and I can tell
you it’s not the kind of person I want
to hang out with all you’re doing is
causing trouble because if you’re party
to that then you become just as guilty
as they are too many people are hurt by
rumors too many people are hurt by
gossip and so much of what people say I
mean there may be some thread of
something in it but it gets so blown out
of proportion that it doesn’t make any
sense to anybody and it’s very dangerous
don’t listen to rumors
and there’s so much junk on social media
today I mean it is
oh
it can be used for such good purposes
but we better understand that the
devil’s going to try to use it too
don’t get on social media and say
something bad about somebody else you
don’t even need to give your opinion
about somebody else on social media
don’t do that
how about this how about before if
before we judge anybody else we examine
ourselves a little bit
[Applause]
I got to read your favorite scriptures
on not judging Matthew 7 1-3
do not judge and criticize and condemn
others so that you may not be judged and
criticized and condemned yourselves
just as you judge and criticize and
condemn others you will be judged and
criticized and condemned and in
accordance with the measure you use when
you deal out to others it will be dealt
out to you again
in other words what you give out you’re
going to get back
[Music]
why do you stare from without at the
very small particle that’s in your
brother’s eye but do not become aware of
and consider the beam of Timber that is
in your own eye
hmm
it’s hypocritical isn’t it when we judge
other people for minor things and we’ve
got huge faults you know a lot of times
that’s just an excuse to not deal with
our own issues my dad was very critical
and judgmental and that man was such an
unbelievable mess oh my gosh he had so
many deep problems in his life but he
all he ever did was say fault with
everybody else and sometimes if we stay
busy looking at what’s wrong with
everybody else we don’t have to look at
ourselves
now
I want to say a few more things about
this thing about
opinions and just
we have to be very careful that we don’t
try to put our convictions off on
somebody else if those convictions are
not necessarily biblical
give you an example
had a wonderful aunt
she’s gone home to be with the Lord so
she’s probably going to hear me talking
about her now but everybody’s happy in
heaven so she can’t get mad at me
um and
she grew up in a pretty strict church
and
I mean she was
full-blown religious person okay so
there was a lot of things that she
didn’t believe in
and um
one of them was going to the movies she
didn’t but she didn’t believe in going
to the movies but yet she would watch
movies at home on TV
it shows you sometimes the foolishness
of what just dead dried religion can do
to you
but then
I remember her saying things to me when
I was going to the movies to try to make
me feel guilty
go in that movie house you don’t need to
go to that movie house but she’d sit at
home and watch movies on TV she didn’t
think that that I should wear colored
eyeshadow
so I mean this was years ago but
people were putting eye shadow all over
their whole eyes and I had blue
eyeshadow and she’s wiped that blue junk
off your face you just look like a hussy
and get that stuff off your face
just get that off your face
well I can tell you what you’re not
going to go to hell for wearing blue
eyeshadow
amen
this is the kind of stuff I’m talking
about come on and we all we all get into
this to a little degree honestly can you
be honest and say if we feel strongly
convicted about something ourselves
it’s very easy to try to push that off
on everybody else
and we shouldn’t do that not unless we
know by scripture
that it’s sin and even then you can’t
push it’s got to be done in love and in
the right way
[Music]
this may be the most fun candid
conversation we’ve ever done because
we’re going to encourage people that
it’s okay to let their hair down to
relax and to have fun and talk about how
to do it and some of the things that
hold us back sometimes it wouldn’t go
very far
it’s down now
yeah I think sometimes we
think of our responsibilities we think
of the weight of the world we all have
hard things in our life people are
hurting so to encourage everyone that it
is okay even in the midst of some hard
things to laugh now and then to have the
joy of the Lord
and just have fun do something fun now
and then well that’s why we call our TV
program Enjoying Everyday Life sure is
because I had such a hard time
with this what you’re talking about and
it got started in my childhood from
being abused and my father just was not
a fun guy he wasn’t in the fun he was
just
mean and rules and regulations and I can
actually remember getting in trouble for
laughing because I was making noise that
he didn’t want to hear and so I kind of
my natural personality is
a choleric and their workers anyway so I
already started out as a worker and then
I felt
accepted by him
more if I was working than if I was
having any kind of fun and so man I mean
I had a
I had a rough go with this I mean a
really rough girl I just I felt guilty
anytime I was enjoying myself because I
just felt like I should be
should be working and I remember some of
the things that God said to me to help
me get out of that one day a girl called
and said that I want to go
somewhere with her and I said no I’ve
got to clean my house and
um
which I did every day by the way back
then and uh when I hung up the Lord
spoke to me he said the dirt will still
be here tomorrow you need to go and now
obviously you can’t think like that
every day right you know but I need he
knows what you needed I needed to
realize that
you know it would be okay to wait until
another day to do that
because I needed to go and relax and
interestingly enough this past weekend
I mean I I had two days of what I would
call
a true Sabbath rest
I sat in a recliner
almost all day
both days
I good for you I’m so proud of you did
and I I didn’t do
any work I didn’t feel like I had to
study I
looked up different
music artist that I like on YouTube and
listen to music and I watched some
movies and I just
didn’t do anything that’s a big step I
mean that’s unusual so just rested made
that happen I don’t know I don’t know if
I was too tired to move or what but I
just I enjoyed it so much and I realized
that I still
have that feeling like I need to do you
know I need to be productive yeah every
day I need my my natural personality a
type A personality is motivated by
accomplishment and so
it’s very hard for us to go through a
whole day and feel like we didn’t
accomplish anything but actually when
you when you rest really rest you are
accomplishing something you’re building
up the strength that you need for the
other things that you need
to accomplish yeah and yeah I I can
relate to that having much of that
personality myself I’m also I’m kind of
a mix with the cleric and the sanguine
so so I want to keep things moving and
get a lot done and have fun doing it all
the time so basically I want to tell
people how to have fun and make sure
they do it right well you have a great
you have a great personality our son
Daniel same thing strong colic but he’s
got to have fun I I just I remember just
feeling guilty you know if I wanted
people yes if I wasn’t working all the
time and so on the personality test the
ones that I took years ago they had
points like
so many points for this and so many
points for that and I was like
38 I think the total score was 40. and I
was 38 choleric one point sanguine and
one point phlegmatic so that meant that
38 percent of me was going to be wanting
to work all the time one percent could
have fun and one percent could rest and
not worry yeah and so I think now
actually I would be more equally
divided there’s a book by Tim lahaye
called Spirit control temperament that
no matter what your natural temperament
is when you’re controlled by the spirit
you know like for example when I preach
I’m actually really funny you are and I
know it’s the holy spirit because
I wasn’t that way in my everyday life
when I started and I’m I’ve gotten a lot
funnier my kids think I’m hilarious but
Dave and I have been married 56 years
and we actually probably have more fun
now than we ever had last night we were
fighting over the cover part of the
night and he’d say you’ve got all the
cover I’d say you’ve got all the cover
and then he’d pull it and I’d pull it
back from him and finding those little
moments yeah they were huge yeah instead
of making a problem out of everything
and like you said
and people need to get this
when you have a problem it is okay to go
ahead and enjoy your life because being
miserable if you’ve cast your care on
God if you’ve prayed about it there’s
nothing you can do there’s nothing he’s
shown you to do then you need to give it
to him
and
the joy of the Lord is your strength and
I heard somebody preach a sermon one
time and said it’s not your stuff that
God wants it’s your that the devil wants
it’s your joy
so he comes through our circumstances
yeah but his goal is to steal our joy
because our joy is our strength yeah you
know I’ve I learned that so strongly
traveling the world and seeing how
people in so many situations are hurting
so much and it can really weigh of
course on them terribly and and on you
as you go in and it’s easy to to feel
like
um I I don’t have much to offer in a
situation like this and and to feel like
you have to be down because it’s it’s a
sad situation and people are hurting or
to come home and feel guilty because you
have everything right and what cut has
shown me in such a beautiful way is the
best thing I can take into those
situations is the joy of the Lord so
going in with with like here’s an
example like a group of kids who are
working in a brick Factory right
literally working in a brick Factory and
letting them be kids playing with them
laughing with them just running around
and playing is the best thing you can do
you don’t want to go in and and of
course we’re supposed to Bear one one
another’s burdens but you don’t just go
in and be sorrowful sorrowful right that
the joy of the Lord is a powerful thing
and he wants us to to have fun yeah you
don’t need to bring
a sad face to somebody who is already
sad and it changes those kids we’re not
suggesting that everybody just be a
goofball all day long and just do
nothing but just laugh and giggle and
not take things seriously but the Bible
has a lot to say about Joy like John 16
24 says ask and receive that your joy
may be full
so what’s he saying when you have a
problem ask God for what you need
receive it by faith
so you can go ahead and have joy and I
think it’s John 17 13 Jesus
was talking to them about some different
things and he said I’ve told you these
things that my joy and Delight might be
fulfilled in you
so his Joy how I mean
how much joy did Jesus have
that that it might be fulfilled in us he
wants us to have the same kind of joy
that he had and so even when he was
going through a difficult time like in
Hebrews it says for the for the joy of
the he endured the cross
for the joy of the prize that was on the
other side so when you are having a
problem
instead of thinking about the problem
all the time think about the victory
that you’re going to have I always
really love to think about
how Romans 8 28 promises us that all
things work together for good
to those who love God and are called
according to his purpose so if you love
God and you want his will in your life
then whatever happens to you
God promises us that he will work it out
for good but there is that if there if
you love God with all your heart and you
want his will
no I don’t think you can
complain about your problem and feel
sorry for yourself all the time and be
angry with everybody else who doesn’t
have a problem I think we need to
maintain the right attitude the attitude
that Jesus had but you know even though
he knew that he was going to go to the
cross and suffer the way he he did he
was never irritable with his disciples
and they did things that would make you
irritable they could be very annoying
when I read those stories you know
you’re thinking wow
um you you learn so much by the way
Jesus treated people so in all of this
it’s refusing that guilt that might be
coming against you giving yourself the
permission and the time
to rest like you did last weekend to
have fun to laugh with your friends
and not feel like somehow you’re you’re
missing something God wants you to do
instead you’re celebrating who he is you
can even make your work fun you know
when I come up here to the studio to
record TV
I mean we’re we’re about three hours
into this today and we’ve laughed a lot
already and so anytime that you have the
opportunity to laugh a merry heart does
good like a medicine and so there’s an
inappropriate time to do it but anytime
it is appropriate you should do it
because it’s actually very healthy and
very good for you to do and the devil
wants to steal your joy he does not want
anybody to be happy and as Christians we
have a lot to be happy about because we
are going to spend eternity with God and
see him face to face
[Music]
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foreign
[Music]
actually is the battlefield that’s where
we win or lose the war with Satan he
said all he gets to say
today is mine you start asking God to
heal you and he will restore is the God
of all comfort and I am so grateful that
I know how to call on God
[Music]