Does “It” Need to End? :: Relationship Goals (Part 8)

and men so let’s get our notes out and

let’s get started in this today um this

is week 8 of the relationshipgoals

series and just by what I’ve heard like

what I’ve heard from people this series

has blessed people’s life this people

that this series has helped people walk

differently when it concerns

relationships I think I saw something on

online that over 10,000 people have

watched the first video that we put up

on this series now y’all know I’m not

about numbers or anything but this is

something that God wants to say to

people and so as I as I begin to say God

how do you want me to end this series

how do we need to close this thing out

he said well I want you to ask everybody

a question and first I want you to ask

yourself this question and this is the

question that came to me in prayer how

do I know a relationship needs to end

like if we’re gonna end why don’t we go

ahead and end because a lot of people

have relationships with people things

places and we’re not sure if this

relationship is supposed to continue to

go forward or if it’s supposed to end

and I may dare say that a lot of a lot

of us spend a lot of unnecessarily

necessary time in relationships that

will not benefit us in the end

okay can we be honest just for one

second how many people have wasted time

in relationships before hands up if your

hand is not up you’re lying and this is

all I’m saying to you

all of us have wasted time a

relationship if there was like a card

that that came when you started a

relationship that told you how it was

gonna end we would stop a lot of

relationships like you’re gonna waste 4

years with this person you’re gonna have

lower self-esteem and you’re gonna hate

everybody around you when you end this

do you still want this relationship we’d

be like heck no that’s that’s not what I

want but many times it’s hard to see the

whole picture when I’m in it if we can

be honest it’s hard to see that I may

have been in business with the wrong

business partner when we’re already

in it it may be hard to figure out that

this friend is not my the best for me

after we’ve already been BFFs then we’re

going everywhere together and we’re

celebrating life monuments together and

so I just want to help us through the

Word of God see if we can be able to

better identify how we know a

relationship is supposed to in and I

started thinking about this when God

wants to bless you how does he do it he

sends people into your life and when the

devil wants to distract you or destroy

you how does he do it he sends people

into your life so if people come into

our life are either a blessing or a

curse it’s up to us to be able to

decipher is this relationship going to

benefit me and push me towards what God

has for me or is this relationship going

to subtract from me and take away from

what God has for me and I thought about

it like this um there may be

relationships that you have that are

liabilities and not assets and some of

us don’t understand those terms but but

let me just explain it like this

liabilities take from you assets give to

you what are the relationships in your

life that are taking from you right now

taking peace taking joy taking time the

one thing will never get back they’re

taking people that are always negative

people always in drama people that are

always telling us the truth but it

always has a been towards what’s wrong

in life and they’re they’re sucking and

they’re taking and and they’re moving

things from and I just think that it’s

God’s plan that the relationships in our

life are supposed to be helping us and

moving us towards purpose the whole

reason we started this series is so that

we could help every person win in

relationship everybody say I want to win

in relationship so now I need us to take

an inventory today is one of those

messages that I call let’s just take an

inventory not this ain’t for your

neighbor this ain’t for anybody else

this

for you and I want you to take an

inventory if you were to write down a

list right now of all your acquaintances

friends best friends yo day one a ones

your bros your girls your business

colleagues your mentors students

relatives business partners associates

team mates clients followers fans

supporters boyfriends girlfriends baby

mamas baby daddies friends with benefits

just friends fiancees spouse spiritual

leader pastor and even your church my

question is are they adding value to you

are they taking value from you because

all of us have relationships that we

would say this benefits me and this

probably doesn’t benefit me and this is

the crazy thing we like if they benefit

us any we like to keep the relationship

even if most of what they do is negative

well how could I get out of that

relationship but I read this one thing

that they said if you had the if you

were thirsty and there was a glass of

tall water but they told you that there

was one drop of strychnine or poison in

it would you drink it and I said no they

said in the same way that many of us

have relationships with people that

there’s poison in their relationship but

we still keep them and invite them into

the areas of our life that affect us and

so I begin to ask God okay well how do I

need to know that a relationship needs

to end and God wasn’t just giving me a

straight answer it was like he was

schooling me and I love this because

when I spend time with God when I spend

time in prayer when I spend time seeking

God for what I’m supposed to say here he

never lets me preach anything that he

doesn’t take me through first so you

should you should have quality assurance

that any time I stand up here and I’m

saying something to you God’s already

taken me through the ringer on this and

this is what he said he said Michael

some of the problems that you face are a

result of the people you embrace it he

said some of the problems that you are

facing right now are because of the

people that you keep embracing the same

type of people the same type of greedy

people the same type of people who don’t

care about what God cares about the same

type of people if you think about it in

your life all the people that you have

relationship issues with you can

rid of them and they come back with

different faces just think about it oh I

I’m done with that boys I ain’t messing

with no bad boy forget you Jerrod and

then Ricky comes and he’s a bad boy too

and then you get rid of Ricky and now

you’re 28 and now it’s Ramon and you get

rid of Ramon and then it’s Lawrence and

then it doesn’t matter it’s just

different faces and I’m talking about

any relationships many people have been

in bad business relationship after bad

business relationship

many people have been from church to

church now how come you find the same

people at every church something wrong

with every church you been in the pastor

ain’t teaching the word at every church

you be you are the common denominator

but if we think about that from a godly

perspective it’s because a lot of the

relationship problems that we have are

because of the relationship people we

are embracing and so Paul is saying to

us in 1st Corinthians 15:33 he’s talking

to a group of believers and he’s saying

hey listen when you hang around people

that aren’t going the same way you’re

weakening your ability to stand you’re

weakened your ability to stand and

you’re not standing for what is right

and he says this he says don’t be fooled

by those who say such things or by

people who weak in your stance in what

you know is right for bad company

corrupts good character I don’t care how

good you think you are hang around

people who gossip hang around people who

still hang around people who cheat hang

around people who are lukewarm that act

one way on Sunday and acted completely

different Monday through Friday you

won’t be the person who affects change

they will infect you that’s what the

scripture says and we all know proverbs

27:17 as iron sharpens iron so a friend

sharpens a friend we always say that

did you bring me out my example real

quick um this right here is an X this is

iron okay

this is iron right here but the thing

about this iron is it has become dull

this should be able to slice me wide

open but the only reason that it’s not

slicing the open is because it’s been

hitting against wood when I read that

Scripture sometimes I reverse engineer

scripture when I’m studying so if iron

sharpens iron what doesn’t sharpen iron

wood what happens is if iron and wood

are constantly in relationship okay this

can never be sharpened because it’s not

made from the same material so this is

what the scripture says when it tells us

not to be unequally yoked because if I’m

walking with a material that doesn’t are

it’s not able to supply me with the

sharpening that I need there’s two

things that happen if I’m in a

relationship with somebody something

some venture that is not equally yoked

what happens is one will become damaged

and the other will become dull now you

missed it you missed it

see many of us are in the relationships

that are unequaled in the yoke and it’s

hurting both of you because you started

off sharp but you started having

relationship with wood people that don’t

have the same values people that don’t

believe God or we can just do it this

one time when you go to the club tonight

it’s your birthday you 22 you 28 to 35

you 69 I get out the club do you

understand what I’m saying and we we

just keep hitting against something and

what happens is the thing that was sharp

becomes dull and the thing that was wood

becomes damaged

so my question is when we look at our

lives and we look at what God wants to

do in us relationally what are you doing

and what have you done to make sure that

your relationships are godly

relationships so when I look at this I

say okay so what do we have to do to

find out how we know a relationships

supposed to end and remember today it’s

just a suggestion for you Pastor Mike is

not mandating anything that you need to

go in this relationship for you but if

the shoe fits I mean if you were size 10

and a half and this mug is attending put

it on okay look at Hebrews 12:1 and I

think this is an anchor scripture for

this whole message therefore since we

have been surrounded with such a huge

crowd of witnesses to this life of faith

like there have been people who’ve done

this and they made it to the end of it

and they still had faith and they trust

that God and we have those witnesses it

says let us who’s he talking to us let

us strip off every weight now this is

the thing that I love about this is it

doesn’t say strip off every sin because

if it said sin first all of us would

would be like okay we get that but this

is saying you need to lay down or get

rid of every weight that includes

relational liabilities you need to get

rid of every relationship that is not

moving you towards purpose and look at

it it doesn’t say it says get rid of

every weight that slows us down and this

makes me excited too because it didn’t

say every weight that makes us stop

because we we think it would be fine if

that yeah no we really do need to get

them out of our life because they’re

making us stop it says don’t even have

people around you who are slowing you

down like so the criteria is changing

it’s not sin it’s not stopping it’s

who’s in your life that’s slowing you

down

like and when we start to identify that

that makes us look at our friends our

relationship our business partner is

completely different like I am always

talking to you about drama and issues or

I am always wasting time trying to

explain myself because you think I have

an ulterior motive but I really am just

trying to sharpen you and make you

better but you actually think I’m coming

at you and I’m jealous of you boo I am

not jealous of you I’m just like it

pulls around us that’s slowing us down

now you think about it don’t nudge them

if they sit next to you just stay

straight look at me okay it says and

then it addresses sin and I think God

does this for a reason to let us know

it’s not just sin he said oh yeah sins

don’t trip you up

it’s especially the sin that so easily

trips us up but then it gives us hope

and let us run with endurance the race

that God has set before us so I just

want you to just picture it for a second

you on a track and you in a lane and

that Lane is your lane like nobody else

is even allowed to run in that Lane

that’s your lane and God’s saying I

don’t want anybody coming into this Lane

to trip you up because I have a race for

you to run and I want you to run it with

endurance and if you run this race I’ve

called you to run it you’re gonna win a

prize and you’re gonna be satisfied

because what I wanted to do in your life

is better than anything you ever wanted

to do in your life and I need you to

trust me but you got to do two things

you got to get all these weights off of

you and you got to get sin out of your

life

so when I looked at this and in the

light of relationship goals and all this

other things I still ask the same

question how do I know a right a

relationship needs to end so I want us

to look at the father of faith and a

situation that happened in his life

Abraham and I want us to go to Genesis

and and I want you to go ahead and part

in Genesis 15 verse 6 but I’m gonna give

you a little back story of what what has

happened cuz some of you are saying how

do I need to know this relationship

needs to end okay let me just give a

caveat if you are married if some of

these things begin to to

show you some issues and some problems

you have it’s an awesome thing for you

because you get to work this out inside

of coven II see some of y’all thought

y’all was gonna get a license this is it

this is the day Pastor Mike – no no no

there’s only a few reasons that you’re

able to come outside of the covenant of

marriage and that’s why I tell all my

single people is so very important that

you don’t rush into anything that God

has not ordained because there’s a

covenant that God wants to establish

through you and Malachi says that

marriage is sacred and it tells us that

God hates divorce

and so there are some reasons that that

needs to happen but this is what I when

I wrote down for all my married people

you don’t get to end you get

intervention you get counseling you get

to you get to call somebody and tell

them all your issues and your problems

and allow the Holy Spirit to come in and

heal and so some of y’all the rest of

this stuff you gonna be able to listen

to and you’re gonna be able to apply it

to other relationships but that marriage

one God want you to fight for that one

he wants you to stay through the

struggle in that one and there’s a

beautiful story that comes at the end

when God is the only one that can redeem

and bring it back to life amen and man

so let’s let’s look at how do we need to

know a relationship needs to end Abraham

he’s the father of our faith Abraham is

one of those people that his name

changed and when we find him first his

name is Abram and he’s just obeying God

he’s a dude out here he’s not perfect

but he’s just out here trying to obey

God I don’t know some of y’all may have

known the song y’all may have been

raised in a Vacation Bible School like

me but there was a little song about

Abraham it was like father Abraham had

many sons some of y’all know it and many

sons have father come on sing with me

and I am one of them and so are you

everybody so let’s just praise the Lord

right on left or merely right don’t let

it drop no I’m sick scuse me

now mister excuse me excuse me I’m

renewed amen

but um what ended up happening some of

y’all are raised in the same rescue

group I was but um but but but what

happens is Abraham gets a promise in

Chapter 15 what God comes to him and he

says hey listen you’re gonna have a son

and abraham was like don’t even play

with me like that

you know I’m old like I’m old she oh we

not about to have no son I’ll just keep

serving you said no no no you’re gonna

have a son and he said matter of fact

come outside he was like look up in the

stars and try to count him you can’t can

you

nope because I’m God and I made them and

he said that is the number of

descendants you are gonna have to have

and Abraham was like God for real you

don’t have to play with me I’ll just

serve you don’t make me these promises

and you’re not really gonna come through

on them and he said no I promise you

that you’re gonna have a son and from

your son you’re gonna have descendants

and look what it says in chapter 15

verse 6 Genesis 15 verse 6 it says and

abraham believed the lord and i want you

to underline that encircled egg because

we’re gonna need that in a minute and

abraham believed the lord and the lord

counted him as righteous because of his

faith okay so i’m gonna take a different

approach on this whole story and i hope

we can find some some things on this

because God just gave this he downloaded

it to me and I’m excited about it

but I need you to stay with me because

we’re gonna draw some context clues of

how we know we’re supposed to end a

relationship so go to chapter 16 okay

and it’s crazy because at the end of 15

it says he believed the Lord but at the

beginning of 16 there’s problems about

to start like we didn’t even wait –

chapters to get into problems we end

with God I believe you and the next page

what what what happens it says verse 16

now Sarai Abraham’s wife had not been

able to bear children for him but she

had an Egyptian servant named Hagar so

Sarai said to Abraham

baby the Lord has prevented me from

having children so glow and sleep with

my servant I know Abraham’s eyes got

beat he said uh-uh uh-uh uh-uh you want

me to do what you heard me baby go sleep

with Hagar perhaps I can have children

through her and Abraham said you know

what you are smart woman you use a woman

that got you the woman that I love she

said he agreed see this I read the Bible

I don’t know about y’all but this is how

it comes to me he said he agreed with

Sarah’s a proposal so Sarah Abraham’s

Abraham’s wife took Hagar the Egyptian

servant and gave her to Abraham to Abram

as a wife this happened ten years after

Abram had settled in the land of Canaan

verse 4 so Abram had sexual relations

with Hagar and she became pregnant but

when Hagar knew she was pregnant she

began to treat her mistress Sarai with

contempt how do you know a relationship

needs to end point 1 when you started it

and God didn’t we could go home

right there because in verse 15

God gave Abram and Sarah a promise but

at the start of 16 they started looking

at their situation and they wanted to

help God do what he said he was going to

do and isn’t that how we usually get in

bad relationships is that God has given

us a promise or he’s telling us to wait

or telling us to wait on him or he’s

telling us that he’s going to do

something he has a purpose and a plan

for our life but then we start looking

at our situation where God I’m thirty

what God I’m I’m this and I’m that and I

thought this was gonna happen and I

thought that was gonna happen and I

thought that was gonna happen so let me

help you fulfill your promise to me but

what God spoke to me and he’s been rough

just I mean ravaging my heart with he

said Michael there’s no such thing as

godly ambition you can’t help God do

what he has already done what he’s doing

and what he’s about to do you can’t help

him

all you can do is obey Him and many of

us are trying to help God fulfill his

promise to us and when we do that we

invite relationships in that were never

meant to happen

Abraham was never supposed to ever be in

relationship with Hagar but his wife had

a bright idea

let me help God fulfill his promise to

me and doesn’t that sound like us so

many times that we go in because we call

him Jehovah Jireh in verse finch Apter

15 but christmas comes so we go pick up

a second and third job to be jehovah

jireh my own provider and then we leak

the person who brings the boxes name

john and we start having a cordial

relationship that turns into an

emotional affair that we were never even

supposed to experience if we would not

have tried to be Jehovah Jireh and

fulfill the promise in our life

how many business deals have we taken in

people we’ve gotten in relationship with

and people that we’re going we went to

the wrong school because we were trying

to help God fulfill our promise so this

is where all my friends were going so

that’s where I went and you met people

you were never supposed to meet you have

relationships with professors you were

never supposed to be in their class I

just want you to see when you start

relationships that God doesn’t it always

ends bad for you and you see this that

they were impatient

and they didn’t believe the promise

enough to wait on it so my question is

to every person in this room is how many

relationships do you have in your life

as a result of you not waiting on the

Lord well that’s my bro I’m not talking

no you can’t be talking about him that’s

my doll he holds me down literally

remember that casting off every weight

he’s holding you and this relationship

that Abram had with Hagar is one that is

going to pan out over about five

chapters of the Bible to have held him

down and cause relational issues with

his promise because he invited something

in that was never supposed to be there

when you don’t wait on the Lord you give

the enemy opportunity to introduce you

to counterfeits when you don’t wait up

on the Lord you give the enemy entrance

to introduce you to counterfeit and then

we deal with the results of counterfeit

relationships we deal with the results

of counterfeit opportunities and then we

have to get healed and delivered from

something god never meant for us to

experience so how do you know a

relationship is supposed to end when you

started it and God didn’t I need you to

hear that because perception is

everything look at verse two when when

Sarah comes here she says so Sarah said

to Abram the Lord has prevented me from

having children see this is my

perception is so so key because the Lord

wasn’t preventing her from having

children he was preparing her to have

children but if you have the wrong

perception you will get with the wrong

partners and you will have a wrong

pregnancy because her perception was

broken she tried to partner her husband

up with somebody else and they got

pregnant with something illegitimate and

many of us are sitting here carrying

around things that were birthed out of

illegitimate relationships

you got insecurities that didn’t even

come from people who are supposed to be

in your life like because you hooked up

with them now yourself cuz you thought

you was fine before you got real you

thought you was banging now you was with

him for six months and you look at

yourself worse than you ever have that

was an illegitimate

mint baby that was formed by a wrong

partnership you used to know that you

were called by God and know you could be

used by God and now you questioning can

I even pray out loud but those were

things that with the wrong perception

and that’s the enemy’s planned to think

to make us think that God’s keeping

something from us and that he’s not

preparing something for but my Bible

says that that that that God had friends

for you before you even got here to

prosper you to give you a hope in the

future and we have to turn off the lie

of the enemy because if we don’t we open

ourselves to wrong relationships and we

come pregnant with something that will

bring us pain in the end an Abraham

Abram and Sarah I don’t even know it yet

so then she says go and sleep with my

servant perhaps this is so sad perhaps I

can have children or let me see it a

different way perhaps I can get the

promise through somebody else God will

never bring your promise through

somebody else like he will never fulfill

his word to you through somebody else

and that’s why I tell people don’t get

married because of what they do get

married because y’all are called to be

together because you won’t fulfill

purpose because they fulfilling purpose

you have to know the race that God has

called you to run by yourself so that’s

why I read I live my life according to

proverbs 3:5 it’s familiar but it brings

new content when we talk about

relationships and it says trust in the

Lord with all of your heart do not

depend on your own understanding you

know I can understand this makes sense

to Sarai and Abram I’m old and dusty

he’s old and dusty I know I can’t have

no kids but he might have a couple

swimmers left in there let me go ahead

and hook him up with somebody I know has

some childbearing hips

you can get us baby about but many times

if we lean to our own understanding we

get in trouble so the Bible tells us

trust in the Lord don’t lean to this

because that logically makes sense but

then What did he say

seek God’s will in all you do another

translation says acknowledge God in

everything you do and he will show you

which path to take so that means that

before we get into any relationship we

need to be acknowledging God and asking

him is this the path I’m supposed to

take and I don’t know about you but I’m

guilty of getting into things and then

asking God to bless it afterwards okay

can we be honest can we have a hot

moment how many people will get into

stuff and be like god this could you

please okay like this one looks good

and so God gave me verbage for this he

said Michael I don’t want you to do

anything without permission to pursue

don’t do it without permission to pursue

that’s what I pray I don’t take a

business deal anymore without permission

to pursue I don’t take an engagement out

to speak somewhere else without

permission to pursue I don’t get in

relationship without permission to

pursue because if I link to my own

understanding I don’t see all of the

other things that are gonna happen with

that but God sees all things that are

gonna happen so when I acknowledge him

and be like God hey is this am I

supposed to get into business with them

do I have permission to pursue and I

feel peace and I feel God saying yes and

I’m not talking about an audible yes son

you’re supposed to pursue coz y’all get

so deep sometimes I’m not talking about

that but when I pray and I feel that

peace and I don’t get a check in my sum

and I really prayed not not at the

business table not at the door not at

the altar he didn’t want no no it’s too

late

but do I have permission to pursue I

found that even if I make the wrong

decision God comes back and honor it

because I acknowledged him because even

if I didn’t hear because the Bible tell

us we hear and see through a glass

darkly like we’re not gonna get

everything right as your pastor I miss

it sometimes I’ll be like God told me to

do this and

then it pans out like God was nowhere

near that do you understand what I’m

saying but my heart was right towards it

and I tried to acknowledge God and so I

think that we need to go back and

evaluate all of our relationships in ask

our do I have permission to pursue this

that school opportunity that business

deal that promotion I know you’re gonna

make more money but is that going to

open you to a level of greed that’s

going to corrupt your soul and what does

it profit a man to gain the whole world

but loses so God do I have permission to

pursue this because you want what’s best

for me you want what’s good for me you

want everything and that’s what Sarah

and Abram should have asked do I have

permission to pursue but no they did

like most of us we’re gonna make this

happen and we’re gonna pray that God

blesses it but it works out for a bad

situation and then God turns it good can

I just give you this one nugget I’m the

best time to end something is before it

begins like like the best time to fire

somebody is before you hire them like

the best time to break up with somebody

as before you get with them but you

can’t do that if you don’t have a

standard without a standard everybody is

able everybody is available and God

wants us to set a standard and what is

the standard it’s the Word of God

because when the word of God becomes our

standard were able to measure people

against that when the Bible says don’t

make friends with angry people because

they will lead you down a wrong path a

lot of people be like oh he’s in my

boyfriend I mean you got a temper like

you know it like like you’ll know it but

when we don’t make the Word of God our

standard we accept everything into our

life and then we have to live with the

damage it’s again that iron mixing with

that wood and one becomes damaged and

the other becomes dull so Hebrews 10 36

says pace

endurance is what you need now so that

you will continue to do God’s will then

you will receive all that he has so it

might be the time for you to end a

relationship I don’t know I’m not

telling you you need the end of

relationship but it might be a sign that

you need the inner relationship in your

life when you started it and God didn’t

so at the end of verse 4 Hagar is just

wiling she walking around with her belly

out she’s like haha I’m pregnant by oh

man and and that that’s what the Bible

says

she says she’s treating her with

contempt she’s gloating and flaunting

what has happened in her life and and

then look at verse 5 and this is where

it gets real then Sarai said to Abraham

this is out yes but now she pregnant the

Lord will show you who’s wrong who’s

wrong you or me and Abraham replied hold

on hold up look look this was your idea

do you understand what I’m saying she’s

your service so you deal with her as you

see fit then Sarah treated Hagar so

harshly that she finally ran away what I

draw from this how do you know a

relationship needs to end point number 2

when no one wants to deal with the real

issues like they just started arguing

but not about the issue they started

arguing about the outcome of the real

issue they never talked about the real

issue and doesn’t that seem like a lot

of relationships that we have with

family members like you have problems

with February’s right now like you’re

dreading going home for Thanksgiving but

it’s been 15 years and y’all never

talked about the issue you not know you

know the issue I’m talking about the one

that if you just get close around it you

get sore

like people in relationships right now

and they’ll never talk about the actual

issue look just in these two verses I

see anger I see blame-shifting I see

avoidance Abraham was like girl that I

ain’t do nothing that was you that you

did that you deal with her and like most

men would we would just be like I don’t

know nothing about that you go ahead and

handle it and I see self-righteousness I

see comparison I see apathy and then

even at the end I see revenge those are

real issues that they never addressed

can I help you that it may be time for a

relationship to end when nobody’s mature

enough to address the real issues see

because the thing that we know about

relationship is our relationships have

problems every single one of them wrong

relationship have unaddressed issues I

need you to hear me say that our

relationship have problems unhealthy or

wrong relationships have unaddressed

problems and they fester like a cancer

and this would go on in Abram and

Sarah’s life in the background while

God’s blessing them what while she’s

giving them descendants of nations Wow

while everything looked good on the

service its festering and causing pain

and problems in their lives my question

is how many relationships do we have in

our lives where we’ve never dealt with

the real issue and it’s festering where

nobody can see it where nobody’s talking

about it we’re gonna come in and smile

that’s a lie there’s real hurt there’s

real pain but nobody wants to deal with

the issues see within relationship when

you avoid the real issue you ensure the

relationship death when you avoid it

when we won’t go close to it when we

don’t bring it to God when we don’t say

God revealing me what’s wrong not just

them because a lot of us we want issues

to be all their problem but it takes two

people to tango there’s issues on both

part if we don’t want to deal with the

real issues we’re ensuring that that

relation

she’s gonna die at some point so it may

be advantageous for us to walk in

honesty and truth

look what Colossians 3 9 says it says

don’t lie to each other like just stop

don’t lie to each other for you have

stripped off your old sinful nature

remember we’re laying down stuff again

we’re stripping things off

you’ve already stripped off that sinful

nature and it all of its wicked deeds

what what what I’m saying right here

through this scripture is that if you’re

gonna be in relationship with somebody

it should be completely honest because

at the moment it’s not completely honest

it’s gonna create problems for you at a

later time so I don’t know but a sign

that a relationship may need to end I

don’t know maybe maybe it’s not maybe

maybe you can keep that going keep that

festering cancer just down there and

keep it suppressed but maybe a sign that

it needs to end is that nobody wants to

deal with the real issues so we end

right there in this moment Hagar runs

off because Sarah punched her and beat

up a pregnant woman she runs out that’s

how I read the Bible says she treated

her so bad that she ran off I just

imagined she came in swinging so she she

she messed her up and she ran off she

had an experience with God she came back

to the house and and I know Abraham was

like oh dang why she come back because

that’s how our situations do sometimes

we think they’re gone but they keep

coming back and look at Genesis chapter

16 verse 15 it says so Hagar and Abraham

had a son that wasn’t Sarah and Abraham

that was Hagar and Abraham because they

tried to do something God wasn’t in and

they named him Ishmael Abraham was 86

years old when Ishmael was born why did

you put that in there because drama

doesn’t have an age limit

because some of y’all you here well

y’all hear me speak up like that’s for

them young folks they dealing with love

all that passion burning all this other

stuff you have friends that you gossip

with every Tuesday and those godly seeds

are coming out of you I age does not

matter sin and falling away from God

will find everybody

Abraham was 686 years old in drama and

it’s going to take the God of the

universe to come deliver him so that was

just for some self righteous people who

were sitting out here just saying that’s

for y’all young folk bless you so

chapter 17 Abram Abraham’s name has

changed to Abraham and Sarah’s name has

changed to Sarah verse 8 chapter 18

Sarah gets a promise from God because

she was doubting and-and-and the promise

came and she laughed and she’s like

there’s no way remember I am dusty and

old he is dusty and old we tried this

one time with the wrong relationship

it’s not gonna happen

and God said did you laugh she’s no no I

didn’t laugh he said yes you did laugh I

said watch me fulfill my promise and it

comes in chapter 21 in chapter 21

fourteen years I want you to look at

this 14 years after they tried to make a

way for themselves

now you’ve been waiting 14 days and we

ready to give up God has forgotten he no

longer sees his servant praying and

crying out no he’s gone fulfill his

promise but it just might not be on your

timetable and 14 years later he delivers

the promise called Isaac now watch what

happens because everything was beautiful

I mean amazing blissful for seven verses

and then the problem we created comes

back and knocks on our door the wrong

relationship that we started comes back

and tries to delay our future look at it

Genesis chapter 21 verse 8 so when Isaac

grew up and was about to be weaned

Abraham prepared a huge feast to

celebrate the occasion but Sarah saw

Ishmael the son of Abraham and her

Egyptian servant Hagar making fun of her

son Isaac oh no he did now there’s few

things on earth that get a woman riled

up like somebody picking on a child like

my wife gets mad at other people’s kids

for picking on other people’s kids like

there’s this maternal instinct that you

don’t mess with my kid and Abram and

Hagar ‘s illegitimate product is making

fun of Abraham and Sarah’s promise okay

so I want to help you understand it so

she turned to Abram Abraham and tomatoes

I mean I know her hand was on her hip

she said get back get rid of that slave

woman and her son now remember it was

her idea cuz sometimes our own ideas

grow up to become the thing that torment

us

our own desires our own relationship

once our the things that grow up to to

torment us look at it she said but you

get rid of it he is not going to share

the inheritance with NASA I said just in

case you forgot I don’t know no y’all

get crazy when y’all get crazy what is

all those tongs and all of those

whispering you know when somebody mad

and they start whispering that’s when

it’s real serious I won’t fight like

that’s when you like okay all right I’m

done so my last point is how do you know

what relationship needs to end when what

the relationship produces is picking on

your promise how do you know a

relationship needs to end when what your

relationship produces the outcome of you

being a relationship with that person

when it starts picking on what God has

called you to have can I give you some

practical examples like if I’m in

relationship with a woman and what our

relationship is producing is lust

it starts bullying or picking on my

purity and purity is the promise that

God has for me as a believer in Jesus

Christ but if my relationship is

bullying my promise it’s time for that

relationship to him if getting in

partnership with that business partner

and our business together our

relationship together it’s producing

greed in me that is bullying or punking

generosity which is the promise God

wants me to have see see I just want you

if the relationship that you’re in is

abusive and it’s producing fear that

fear is going to begin to Punk your

faith and that’s why you have so many

people in the body of Christ that are

trying to believe for something but

they’re tied to wrong relationships who

are bullying their promise

that I’m supposed to do this I know I

got a book in me I know God has a big

part for my life but I’m tied to

something that keeps picking on what God

told me I was supposed to have some of

you in this room have a relationship

with somebody and what that relationship

is producing this isolation for you an

isolation is picking on the godly

community he wants you to be in got

somebody who won’t let you go something

that won’t let you be able to be all

that gods and I’m telling you that this

may be more serious than anything in

your life if you have a relationship in

your life that is bullying or picking on

your promise what God wanted Ishmael was

not even supposed to be here and when

Sarah saw her son the promise getting

punked and bullied by the illegitimate

product of the relationship she says she

got to go the same way some of you need

to get indignant about relationships and

people who have been stealing from you

and punking you of your promise and you

need to say you know what I know we’ve

had a good thing but you’ve got to go I

know we’ve been friends for 15 years but

you’ve got to go I know I’ve had a love

relationship with this computer and this

website for years when we did that detox

I know of one person who threw away a

brand-new Mac computer somebody else

like oh could hear please giving that to

me but the problem he said is that every

time I open that computer he said I only

was doing one thing I was in a

relationship a soul tie with the

pornographic website and so I had to

take the whole computer and I had to get

rid of it because it wasn’t worth my

promise

and see if you think what you have right

now is more than what God has promised

you you’ll fool yourself and you’ll keep

ungodly relationships things that are

weighing you down attached to you and

God says let it go and I know that’s

harder to do than it is to say because

Abraham in the next verse it says verse

11 it says this upset Abraham very much

because Ishmael was his son like that

sucks

because at the end of the day Hagar and

Abraham they held each other at night

like they had something it was easy for

Sarah to say get her out of here but but

she wasn’t there when they were

exchanging secrets they weren’t there

she wasn’t there when he probably had to

hold her hand while she was giving birth

to the illegitimate child

so forms connect even if it’s

illegitimate see the reason why it’s so

important that you don’t get an ungodly

relationship is because you can become

attached have you ever seen a castaway

with Tom Hanks and that he’s on an

island and his best friend becomes the

ball named Wilson because attachments

can form with anything especially when

you’re desperate and Abraham was saying

Abraham was saying man I got something

with her this is hard but look at it

everybody is better off when you let it

go look at verse 12 what God tells Abram

he says but God told him do not be upset

over the boy and your servant do

whatever say Sara tells you what she

tell him get back

for Isaac is the Sun through him who

your descendants will be counted or

Isaac is the promise that’s what I

really want for you I want you to

experience your promise but I will also

look how good our God is I will also

make a nation of the descendants of

Hagar son because he is your son – what

are you trying to say pastor Mike when

you end the relationship that’s taking

from you everybody gets blessed like

like what you’re trying to hold on to

God saying cut it off because they get

more blessed when you let him go and you

get more blessed with you let it go he

said I’ll bless him too if you just let

it go

somebody needs to hear me right now

who’s been holding on to an abusive

relationship who’ve stayed at a job too

long

who’s done things and trying to do that

because God says if you let it go if you

end it if you know this relationship

everybody gets blessed so what did God

tell Abraham to do he told him to end it

and these are the four attributes of how

he told him to end it in one verse he

said end it quickly write that down end

it quickly so Abraham got up early the

next morning that that’s what the Bible

says in verse 14 now if I didn’t really

want to do something if I was an

emotional I would have slept in that day

you know what I’m saying like if God

told me I was like okay now I’m going

I’m going to tell her she got to go I

would have slept in till noon but what

did Abraham do he said when God told him

that if you end this because it’s taken

from you I’m gonna bless you I’m gonna

bless him he ended it quickly

I’m telling some of you that have been

hanging on to things and trying to work

them out and figuring out for all the

pieces took the right time to do that

they’ll never be a right time today is

the best time for you to do you need to

end it and you need to end it quickly he

rose up early the next morning and then

look what he said he said but he

prepared food and a container of water

and strapped them to hagar shoulder

what’s the second thing how he ended it

he ended it with blessings see the

character that God is developing in you

is that even when they don’t deserve it

and he could have done that so nasty

you’re supposed to end things with

blessing even when they do you

even when they talk about you even when

you know they’re going out to probably

badmouth you and tell everybody who you

are you end it with blessing this man

packed

he packed food he didn’t say he had

another servant pack the food he went

and did it himself he packed food he

packed water and he even said here let

me put it on your back and let me help

you go to your next destination as

believers we’re not supposed to leave

note since they get out and it’s over

unless the situation calls for because

there are some situations that are

dangerous and abusive and different

things like that and that’s why I love

the Word of God because it just covers

itself look at what the word says in

Romans 12:18

it starts with if possible so I’m

telling you in relationship if possible

Romans 12:18 so far as it pertains or

depends on you live peaceably with

everybody so I’m telling you if you can

end stuff peaceably if possible cuz you

know some people crazy let’s just be

honest some people crazy it is better to

send them a text like don’t ever call me

again like and block them but if you can

be a blessing on the way out like let me

show you one way to be a blessing give

them all their stuff back

take all this stuff even the ring in the

shoes you have on right now go give it

back to him I don’t want any the

material things can can be replaced but

this is not worth my promise okay and

then look what it says it says then he

sent her away with their son I bet that

was hard

but the way he ended it he ended it

intentionally and many people are ending

relationships very vague they’re saying

stuff like this you know just for this

season I just know we’re supposed to

take a break that leaves an open door

for people and things to come back he

sent her away you got to go this is

intentional like this is not a oh ah do

you remember do you it’s not that it’s

like you got to go and I’m telling some

of you there are things that have been

robbing you of your promise that you

you’re not gonna be passive about this

you’re gonna say you’ve got to go you’ve

got to get out of here I can no longer

have association with you because you

will rob me of my promise and the last

thing how he ended it he ended it

trusting God he held on to the promise

that God said because look God did it

before see the last time there even

reason he got into this is cuz he didn’t

trust and believe God’s promise so when

God promised Isaac and Isaac actually

came now he can believe the Word of God

and so when God told him don’t worry

about the boy

or the woman I’m gonna take care of them

he believed the promise he said I trust

you God I trust you with their future I

trust you with my future they were yours

before me they were yours with me and

they’ll be yours after me I trust you

God and look what happens when we trust

God and we do what’s best for us

in verse 20 of that that same chapter

says and God was with the boy as he grew

up in the wilderness and he became a

skilful archer and he even got married

listen to me what I’m saying is what you

think you’re doing – somebody God is

using to get them dependent on him see

you’ve been their Savior and God said

I’m already being that if you get out

the way I could truly be if their Savior

see if I had more time I’d tell you

about how Hagar went out into the desert

and she had nothing but

she had an encounter with God and after

she had an encounter with God God came

down and he saved that woman and she

saved that boy and she named the place

the place where God hears the tears in

the pressure she got a real relationship

with God because she got from around

Abram he was the Savior but then she met

the Savior in a place of wilderness and

so when you cut people off you got to

trust God with it so I asked you again

today as a church how do you know that a

relationship is supposed to end when you

started it and God did when no one wants

to deal with the real issues and when

what the relationship produces is

picking on your promise today God wants

to remind you of hubris 12:1 therefore

since we are surrounded with such a huge

crowd of witnesses to this life of faith

let us strip off every weight including

relational liabilities that slows us

down as we in this relationship goal

series I want you to go evaluate every

relationship that you have and you need

to determine is it a liability or is it

an asset because if it’s a liability if

it’s slowing you down it’s time to lay

aside that way I don’t want you to ever

forget the example will you be the ax

that will be sharpened against something

that is made of the same material or

will you be damaged and Oh father I pray

for every person under the sound of my

voice father you’ve spoken and you’ve

spoken clearly today I thank you Father

God that you are searching our hearts

and you’re illuminating our

relationships God if there’s anything in

our lives or anyone in our lives that is

slowing us down

and keeping us from our promise or just

picking on our promise father god I

thank you that you’re revealed to us

you’ll show us God you allow us to move

in healthy relationships in right

community father with people who are for

us and not against us holy spirit were

asking for you to be the one who

revealed

god we need your help because our heart

is involved God we’ve made relationships

and done things and been around people

for so long that we might not even know

how to even begin but father your word

says that you’re a good father and if we

need help for anything we can ask so

today we ask for your help to reveal

every relationship in our life that’s

not like you and cleanly give us the

courage to end it quickly to end it with

blessing to end it intentionally and to

into trusting you that your plan for our

life is better than anything we could

ever draw up God you want us to win in

relationship and today we submit our

lives to you and we will listen and obey

in Jesus name we agree amen can we give

God some praise right now hallelujah

[Applause]