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because I believe that the only thing

you are ever always in control of is

your focus so many factors in your life

are beyond your control but one thing

you can always control if you learn how

to do it and if you’re committed to it

is your focus I think that many

relationships fail not because of a loss

of love but because of a loss of focus

that would be one of the reasons that a

church fails as well while we’re at it

is that you lose your focus when you

stop caring about what God cares about

God will no longer back you in your

endeavor and so sometimes what we call

failure is really just broken focus it’s

the reason why the passion that exists

in some parts of relationships when it’s

getting started

tends to leak and you wonder where it

went it wasn’t necessarily that you lost

the love you lost the focus it’s very

difficult to keep that first loved focus

in any relationship I think Jesus is

calling us back to focus if you’ll

notice the bread on the sandwich from

the little passage that we just read

both of them start with seeking seek

first his kingdom ask and it will be

given to you seek and you will find on

both ends of this passage where Jesus is

speaking on several different subjects

is this idea of focus so is your focus

number one on finding or becoming

finding or becoming jesus said seek

first the kingdom and the other stuff

will move into position but if you seek

first the other stuff then you will have

no center of gravity for the stuff to

revolve around so it’s important that

your focus is not I’ve been teaching

this for years man I just go around the

youth camps

would teach dating seminar and I would

say you know it’s not original quote

from me but I’ll say it all the time

because I think it’s true happiness

isn’t finding the right person happiness

is being the right person I’ll take it

further since your applause is so tepid

if you find the right person and you are

not the right person what do you think

you’re gonna do to that poor right

person now I’m not suggesting please I’m

not suggesting that if you’re not

married or something like that discuss

you’re not ready yet because now all we

have to do to disprove that stupid

theory is to look at some of the people

who are married so marry doesn’t equal

ready okay I can offer you many examples

of that starting with myself but what I

am saying is that it is important to God

it’s just important to God that you have

the right people in your life but the

only way you’re gonna have the right

people in your life is if you will be

the right person in your heart that’s

the only way your best that’s the only

way you’re even gonna attract them to

begin with and that’s the only thing you

can control

I can always can control whether this

person comes into my life but I can

control the kind of person that I am you

know how you have little memories from

your childhood that are so random that

you wonder how they’re still up there

from all these years and you kind of

wish you could delete them because

honestly you need that space for more

important things like your children’s

names and stuff that you forget

sometimes but I have memory I don’t know

why I remember in sixth grade they gave

us the Berkeley County writing test

I remember the prompt of the Berkeley

County writing test when I was in the

sixth grade almost word-for-word pretend

that you are on an adventure or they

called it a journey with your friends

and on this adventure or journey you

fight you come across a valuable unusual

object just describe the object a couple

weeks later the teacher walked in with

all of our writing tests and made an

announcement she said I’ve never had

this happen before in however many years

of teaching but every single one of you

failed the Berkeley County writing test

we laughed she said it’s not a joke

she said you wrote beautiful essays you

went into great detail elaborating on

the journey with your friends but that

was not the writing prompt the writing

prompt was not to describe the journey

the writing prompt was to describe the

object all of you wrote essays about

walking through the woods with your

friends some of you traveled across the

seas with your friends some of you flew

through space with your friends it was

highly entertaining but none of you

described the object the object of

relationship the object of love is not

that somebody else would complete you

I’m sorry

Renee Zellweger but you got it wrong

your line was touching it just wasn’t

true Jerry didn’t complete you touch

your neighbours say you can’t complete

me say we take this stuff no other

single people right there have their

fists up ready to fight me when I want

to preach about marriage just the way we

preach and teach it we teach it like

until you get married you’re like this

and started I only got one question to

ask you if that’s true how can you worse

obsessive

we worship a guy who stayed single till

they killed him

[Applause]

I’ll be like Jesus I’m happy to say that

but I’m saying I’m saying if Paul would

have waited to fulfill his purpose until

he had somebody to complete him we

wouldn’t have 23 percent of the New

Testament and we teach along with tapes

of all I’ve taught it wrong we teach it

wrong in in the book of Genesis God’s

describing marriage he thought might

Adam and even he says that you know the

man shall leave his father and mother

and go beat his wife and it says that

the two will become one let me tell you

what it doesn’t say it doesn’t say the

haves will become whole but yet we teach

it and we treat it and we extract it

like the haves are gonna become whole

but I found out if you go into a

marriage half the two halves are gonna

make hell not all straight reaching

pastor semen

that’s very true pastor

is it what you can control which is what

God is doing in your life or is it

finding you know if I gotta find a woman

then you got to find a ring and you

gotta find some money you got to find a

date to get married and a place to get

married that everybody can come to that

on the same date working out continents

different continents people coming

together from all these different places

in the world and got to find the dresses

for the bridesmaids something that

they’ll all wear and won’t complain

about then look good against their skin

tone you know find a house and find a

job and finding finding finding finding

finding finding finding finding do you

see the pattern here but God said while

all of that has its place if you will

focus on becoming remember he said the

two will become one that’s the focus

what are you becoming it’s a good

question to ask