Hope RevivHER: Hope Through Amber’s Eyes

it really took God doing a work within

me because I would internalize

everything that people would tell me

um and so it it shot down my self-esteem

it it took a toll on my mental health

and so like I’m so thankful that God

just did a work within me to where he

brought me to a point to where like I’m

now believing what he wrote about me

because I take scripture very personally

so he’s not talking to the apostles he’s

not he’s not talking to anyone else but

me and so it took it took a lot of inner

work and it took a lot of time with God

for me to be like you know what hey like

this is how you accept feedback and this

is what’s yours to take on your plate

and this is what’s not for you to take

on your plate and so it really took me

spending some detail time with God for

him to expose different areas where hey

I need to take that in different areas

where I need to release that because we

all know that like if people don’t know

the full version of you I think that

sometimes people think that they have a

grasp of who you are just based on like

little interactions that they have but

until someone has really spent true time

with anyone I don’t think that they

truly know them you just know like just

that one few moments or little piece of

them that you’ve been able to see and so

I’m just thankful that God really

exposed that to me like hey everything

is not yours to internalize and take and

like this is how you can now deal deal

with all the feedback and this is how

you can calm the noise and this is how

you can just focus on me and listen to

my voice

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if you really knew me then you would

know that I am a lover I am someone who

has a big heart I also have an equally

big personality

um I’m someone who goes into a room and

not in times out of 10 I’m going to make

a friend or two I’m someone who works

hard I’m someone who takes pride in my

career I take pride in my friendships I

take pride in my family and so I give

every single one of those areas of my

life attention love and care

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to being an open person it took a lot it

took a lot of prayer and meditation with

God it took going to therapy

it took trial and error throughout my

life I can think of all of the different

mistakes that I’ve made all of the

relationships that I it probably didn’t

do the best with and I think all of

those mistakes really compounded to make

me who I am now it took facing who I am

in the mirror and just accepting who I

am for face value and learning to love

who I am unapologetically it also took

spending some extra time with God it

took God exposing some things to me it

took him really doing a work within my

life and exposing different areas where

I needed to tighten up and do better and

I think all of those things really

compounded to make me open

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I feel like I live authentically now and

I want to say that’s why I’m not going

to say I want to say I know that’s why I

think that’s why I I resonate so deeply

with Pastor Sarah is because she

literally walks in who she is

um and I it took a lot um I was bullied

as a child even up into high school I

was criticized and ridiculed behind my

natural hair and that might come as a

shocker to some because a lot of people

are like oh my God you’re so confident

like you’ve you there’s no way you’ve

experienced these things like I’ve been

called fat I’ve been called ugly I’ve

been called nappy-headed so like dealing

with all of those things I had to

realize that again that’s not mine to

take and sometimes it was projection and

hey maybe my hair was a little nappy but

it’s still beautiful so it really it

really took like I said that at a time

with God to just get comfortable with

who with who I am and so I feel like I

do show up authentically I was just

telling my phone a manager I was like I

can’t turn my personality off sometimes

I wish I could sometimes I wish I could

be this person who crawls into a shell

and who shrinks like sometimes I really

wish I could be that person and just

exist but when God calls you to do more

than just existing when you know who he

is and and what he means to you and how

he values you and when I learned how God

values me

as a person

imperfect in awe that gave me the

confidence to show up as my authentic

self so that’s why I can even do

something like this and talk to you

today because I have made peace with the

fact that I am grossly imperfect but God

still loves me

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[Music]

mental health has been on a roller

coaster I think mental health is

something that should be at the

Forefront of everyone’s mind especially

with us still coming out of a pandemic

there’s rumors of us going back into

another so I’m really passionate about

mental health and so I was recently laid

off from my dream job and that caused my

mental health to take a nose dive so as

a Christian when there were rumors of

layoffs happening instantly I’m praying

I’m quoting scripture I’m I’m trying to

build myself up in the word and build

myself up in God and so the one thing I

didn’t want to happen it happened like

God allowed that thing to happen and so

as a result my mental health started to

decline I was like God I believed in you

wholeheartedly I gave you a thousand and

ten percent I did not stop going to

church before my layoff I didn’t stop

going to church after my layoff I was

reading my Bible before I still read my

Bible now so I’m just like oh my God I

had all of this faith in you and still

have faith in you don’t want to get it

[Music]

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thing is and I know this sounds cliche

but learn to trust God right now right

now like learn to trust God right now

holy fully completely master that right

now

um as a young lady I had so many dreams

and aspirations I had this very Ironclad

timeline and it was wonderful to have it

because I felt like it was a motivation

for me to work a little bit harder to

achieve my goals but it also didn’t

prepare me for what if God didn’t answer

the prayer that I was praying so I think

that if I could tell any young lady

anything is to learn to trust God

literally right now learn it right now

know that he is in control of everything

know that anything he brings your way he

brought you to because it was in his

plan to bring you through it

but just got

trust godfully trust him with everything

even the smallest thing if if it’s

passing a test trust that he’s going to

give you the wherewithal all to study

trust that he is going to bring that

information back to your remembrance as

you do every single test

trust him to to allow you to make it

home every day trust him with your love

life trust him with your career trust

him with even your dreams even your

dreams like I feel like sometimes we can

get really bogged down with what’s going

on and our plan is not going how we

wanted them to but learn to trust God

even when the role doesn’t go in the

direction that you think the road should

go in

[Music]

thank you

my younger self today girl it’s gonna be

okay

it’s gonna be it is going to be okay I

want to hug my younger self so bad

because my younger self was filled with

so much anxiety my younger self was very

was very worried how was how was this

going to to come together

um how am I going to piece together this

plan and I want to hug my younger self

and tell her curl

gonna be okay it’s going to be okay God

has a master plan for us and even when

we can’t see it even when we don’t feel

it even when we don’t know it even when

it doesn’t feel like it that God is

still in control and that he has a

master plan and that he didn’t put us on

this Earth just to exist and that if he

brought it to you he is definitely going

to bring you through it

[Music]

so when I look in the mirror I

definitely see someone who’s full of

life I see someone who loves very hard I

see someone who has persevered I see

someone who’s imperfect I see someone

who’s still working on being worried and

working on how to how to get through

that but I’m also seeing someone who’s

growing someone who’s accepting anything

that has come their way someone who is

really striving to become the best

version of themselves and to make the

world a little bit greater because I

existed

[Music]

so I have the strength of connecting

with others and so with connecting with

connecting with others it’s often like

this looking in a mirror foreign

sometimes I’m blown away when I’m

talking to others because

God is putting things in my mouth

that I needed to hear

so I hear how I stutter sometimes or how

my thoughts are trying to process and

sometimes I hear the nervousness but

I understand that those imperfections

are what make me human and I feel like

that’s what I’m able to give to others

is just that Honesty of hey I’m not

perfect but I’m trying and I see that

you’re imperfect but you’re trying and

so I think all of my little

imperfections like like my speech and

trying to make sure I’m saying things

eloquently like I know that all of those

of all those things that God has in his

control and that he’s still going to

make sure that whatever message he has

to get across it’s going to get across

and so my imperfections are made perfect

within him

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to anyone who is uh who has like very

ambitious career aspirations like any

young women who are out there I’m still

in the game right with you of who who

are wanting to like expand their um

their skill sets and they want to climb

to all these new heights within their

career I recently made a we’ll have

recently um like a year and a half ago I

made a transition to to my dream company

so I started out my career fresh out of

college and

I was confused because I was like God I

haven’t been able to land a job within

my career field but then God gave me a

really great job but it wasn’t within my

direct career path so I began to

challenge God directly God I know you

led me to this place but how can I get

to where I want to go how can this plan

still sync up and how can I still get

there so um after I work that job for

almost four years and I hated it I hated

it but my obedience to God would not

allow me to leave he did not tell me to

go but when God tells you to go oh my

God

the path that is created for you I can’t

even begin to speak on it so um so I

went from my very first job worked it

almost four years um and then I ended up

transferring to

a subsidiary or basically a company

underneath that company

um and so after I made that transition

to the company underneath the company I

was finally in my dream role so while I

was there it was a completely new well

not completely new but pretty new

territory of considering what I just

came from and I was like God I’m

overwhelmed because I’m creating all of

these things and I know you’ve equipped

me to do it but I am overwhelmed and

then I’m the only African-American face

in the space and so

um so I was nervous and so I was like

God how can you help me to do what I

need to do in this assignment

and God was with me and so he made the

path open to where I could go to my

dream company and so I worked at my

dream company for a year and a half I

was doing excellent there I was thriving

for the first time in my career I

actually loved all of my teammates I

loved all of the strategy that I got to

touch I loved getting up in the morning

and I went to the office when I didn’t

even have to I was excited to be there

and I was excited for the lives that I

was able to touch while I was in that

role and so while I’m basking in the

joys of having my dream role and making

impact and doing all of these wonderful

things there were rumors of layoffs and

so instantly I’m praying I’m like God

come on not me not me I love it here I

finally got it to this space of I’m

finally where I want to be I feel like

I’m finally making strides that I feel

like I should have been making right out

of college but you delayed me and I’m

here and I’m excited to be here and I’m

thankful to be here don’t do this and

God took that job away from me and so it

was one of the hardest things that I’ve

gone through and I’m currently still

trying to find my next opportunity and

I’m still waiting on God to open that

door but when I say that I know God has

something awesome in store for me

oh okay

come on come on

I know that God has something so great

in store for me

so please if you can hear anything that

I’ve said today

please know that if God takes something

from you he’s doing nothing but

preparing you for something greater

even when you don’t see it

even when you don’t feel like it the God

is still doing it for you