Marked For More x Sarah Jakes Roberts

On Friday at WE, while women were being empowered in the main event, something just as powerful was happening over at Girl Evolve. Over two days, we poured into the next generation, and let me tell you—seeing these young queens open up, feel seen, and begin to walk in their God-given confidence was nothing short of a mission complete. I remember being their age—lonely, awkward, and unsure if I even had value or purpose. I compared myself to others, feeling like I’d never measure up. But then, I tried what felt like my only chance at a good life—leaning into a relationship with God. That decision changed everything. Stream and watch the full episode exclusively on the Woman Evolve TV app. New subscribers receive full access to all content and the first 7 days are on us!

I don’t want you to have to come in here

and feel like you got to pretend I don’t

want you to have to come in here and

feel like you’re someone who you aren’t

or that you have it all together the

whole purpose of creating this space is

that you could come in and be authentic

and we created a space where we just

want you to give us a chance one of the

things that I was writing down when I

was thinking about what it is like to be

a teen girl that I think a lot of people

underestimate I don’t know about you all

but when I was growing up like um you

know we were to be seen and not

heard um if we had any feelings we

better find a way to swallow them cuz we

didn’t have bills I don’t know what it

was about like if you’re not paying

bills you’re not allowed to feel

anything you can’t have no attitude you

can’t say nothing cuz you’re not paying

no

bills and so a lot of times I felt like

I couldn’t show up in my house like

whatever I was dealing with I had to

deal with on my own and because I felt

like I had to deal with things on my own

I think it made me lonely even though I

was surrounded by people and when you

start to create a habit of feeling

lonely even when you’re around other

people you can be in a space that is

meant to serve you meant to help you but

you’re so used to just being lonely that

you don’t even know how to open up in

environments like this and so I know

we’re just getting started and I believe

before everything is done that we’re

going to have an incredible experience

but one thing I want you to do I was

thinking um when I was your age

what would it have taken for me to open

up in a room like this what was I going

through and I mentioned feeling lonely I

mentioned feeling awkward but I also

feel like I struggled with feeling like

whether or not I had any Worth or

value because I just didn’t get it and I

think at this age you’re comparing

yourself I know that I was comparing

myself I could always find something

better about someone else that made me

feel worse and as long as I could find

something better about someone else that

made me feel worse I found another

reason to be insecure and it is hard to

come into a room and compare yourself

and also receive from the people who are

in the room as well and so that’s why I

wanted you all to take a minute and just

like look at that girl beside you not

because you’re trying to compare

yourself but look at her and tell her

that she’s worthy look at that girl and

tell her like listen you’re not crazy

this thing is hard you’re not crazy you

do have this thing that’s happening on

the inside of you that not everyone else

understands because you guys are the

only ones who truly understand what it’s

like to be growing up at this age and

stage in your life and I know that you

know uh sometimes as adults we say

things like you know well it’s nothing

new Under the Sun I’ve been there but

there is a different experience that

you’re having you’re growing up in a

world where comparing yourself is easier

where anxiety is easier where depression

is easier and I I want you to understand

that you are not crazy there’s nothing

wrong with you this teenage walk this

adolescence walk it is actually very

hard it is hard without you trying to be

a person of faith and a Christian like

I’m just trying to be 14 15 16 17 years

old and I got to figure out what it

means to be a person of Faith too it is

difficult but when I was studying and I

was thinking about like what I could say

to you and some of you may have heard me

preach last night I wanted you to know

that loneliness is a

driver that when we feel lonely that

when we start comparing ourselves that

we start doing things to try and fix the

loneliness now I know y’all being quiet

and acting like y’all don’t get loud in

church like maybe you saw us do

yesterday but I’m going to need y’all to

at least Nodge your head and see make it

seem like we talking in here okay please

let me know if you’ve ever felt

loneliness at your age like be for

[Music]

real let me know if you’ve ever felt

sadness if you’ve ever felt unseen like

nobody gets

it okay so we’re not alone we’re not

crazy there are some moments where we

feel loneliness there are some moments

where we feel crazy now I want you to

make a little bit of noise if you’ve

ever made a choice that you know you

probably shouldn’t have but you

know not y’all being proud of breaking

rules that was a trick yall supposed to

be sad about that no I’m kidding the

reality is is that we have to know that

often times we’re making decisions

because we feel badly about where we are

when I feel loneliness I engage with

people who may be fun but problematic

when I feel loneliness I may go look up

things on the internet that distract me

from what I feel when I feel loneliness

I might start talking about someone poor

poorly or gossiping because at least I

can have some communication with someone

as opposed to being locked in by myself

when I feel loneliness I start cutting

when I feel loneliness I start doing

things that I know I shouldn’t be doing

but I’m trying to figure out how I can

come alive how I can be seen how I can

feel valuable again and I was thinking

about loneliness in the context of

scripture and there’s this woman named

Hannah do you guys know anything about

Hannah love to see it first of all we

got three Bible scholars in here

everyone who was quiet that was me I was

you I was like had never heard of her

there’s somebody on Instagram I followed

n Hannah but I don’t know anything about

Hannah in the Bible there’s this woman

named Hannah in the Bible and one of the

things I love about Hannah’s story in

the Bible is that she is comparing

herself to her husband had multiple

wives and she is comparing herself to

another one of his wives and she is

looking at all of the things that she

has that she doesn’t have and it is it’s

hard to be in an environment where you

are forced to be around people who have

something that you don’t

possess and when I tell you the list

could be as small as maybe they got a

pair of socks that I wish I had maybe

they have a father in the

house maybe they have a pen that I want

or a Stanley Cup or maybe they have

someone who actually listens and pays

attention to them there are moments in

our lives where we are Comm comparing

ourselves because we are having to be

faced with the reality that we live in

an environment where we’re constantly

seeing what someone else has that we

don’t have maybe I don’t have the skin

maybe I don’t have the hair and we’re

always keeping this list of all of the

things we have or don’t have that

someone else is that someone else

possesses and I was looking at Hannah’s

story and what she’s doing in her story

and she’s comparing herself and then she

starts to isolate and someone tries to

make her feel better but that person

doesn’t really get it have you ever

tried to have someone make you feel

better about where you were but like the

words just didn’t word like I just said

all of this and you just said something

to me that did not hit at

all because sometimes when we are

looking for someone to understand us our

best hope honestly is to try and find

the language that helps us to

communicate what we’re feeling but to

take that language and turn it into

prayer when I was growing up my sister

is like a ferocious prayer Warrior like

she can pray Heaven down from Earth she

knows all of the scripture she can do

all of the things and I thought to

myself if I cannot pray like that I am

just not going to say anything at all if

I can’t sing like that I can’t worship

like that I’m not going to do anything

at all but what I love about Hannah is

when you look at her story in 1 Samuel

you see that Hannah took the language

that she had she took the disappointment

that she had and she allowed that

loneliness to drive her into the

presence of God remember that your

loneliness is a driver so it doesn’t

matter whether you’re being driven into

the presence of God or if you’re

allowing yourself to be driven into poor

choices the next time you make a poor

choice and you’re feeling all bad about

like oh my gosh I can’t believe I did

this again I promis myself I would never

do this I want you to think instead not

so much about what you did but what was

driving you when you did it what was I

trying to avoid what was I trying to

feel because until we start

acknowledging why you made the choice

then we can’t change the choices but

when you start to realize that my

loneliness is going to drive me

somewhere then I get to choose where I

want this thing to drive me to and there

is something beautiful about us allowing

our loneliness to drive us into the

presence of God if it’s going to drive

me anywhere I don’t want it to drive me

into the arms of a toxic relationship I

don’t want it to drive me into the arms

of addiction I want it to drive me into

the presence of God and by the presence

of God I’m not talking about being this

like church girl that just knows a bunch

of scriptures and has it all together

I’m talking about taking my real

authentic self and being like God listen

it is hard out here I don’t even know if

you’re real sometimes but I don’t want

my loneliness to drive me into something

that I know is real trouble so I’m

willing to take a chance on figuring out

what it looks like to see who you are to

be in relationship with you to lay hold

of your truth and your word over my life

one of the things that I feel like I

missed when it came to growing up in

church and I think it was part of partly

me not listening and not being open and

partly it not being communicated is just

how much God wants us to come to him not

for us to just have church but God Longs

for us to understand his love God Longs

for us to understand his character God

Longs for us to bring all of our

problems and all of our burdens to him

and so if loneliness is going to drive

you I’m not telling you that the moment

you turn to God that you going to make

all the right decisions and you’re never

going to mess up because if you’re like

me I thought to myself I’m not going to

do it at all cuz I know I’m going to

mess up so I might as well not even set

myself up for failure recognize that

your relationship with God is a journey

Journey it doesn’t have to be perfect

you don’t have to do everything right

along the way all you have to do is

commit to I’m going to search for him

I’m going to search for him in the good

times I’m going to search for him in the

hard times I’m going to figure out what

it means to be like Jesus for this stage

and for this age of my life