Picture a tug-of-war contest. Two sides struggle against each other, straining to gain control. Can both sides win? Of course not—that’s the nature of the game. In this message, Dr. Stanley sheds light on the internal conflict each of us must face: the battle between obeying God or indulging our flesh. It’s a high-stakes struggle with only one winner. But as children of God we’re not left on our own—with the Holy Spirit on our side, we’re each equipped with self-control. Learn how this fruit of the Spirit tips the scales in your favor. For more messages from Charles Stanley, including this week’s broadcast, go to www.intouch.org/watch
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is there any area of your life that you
would consider
as being out of control
what about your finances you out of
control
what about your moral life
would you say that’s out of control
what about your relationship with other
people
is it out of control what about
your attitudes towards some people
like jealousy
when you think about your life is there
any area of your life that you say well
i think that’s out of control for
example you drink
and maybe you
take drugs or maybe you gamble a little
bit you say
and what about gossiping
what about just having a critical spirit
what about being lazy
none of those fit who we are
that’s why paul said to the galatians
the fruit of the spirit is love
joy peace patience
kindness goodness faithfulness
gentleness self-control
so when you think about your life would
you would you say that your life
is under control
or would you say that there are some
areas of my life that certainly
are not in control
well it’s a battle
and that’s the title of this message the
battle for self-control
we all want to be in control of our
lives and now
what i mean by that is this we want to
have the relationship with that lord
by which we are submitted to him to the
point that we’re not always
battling because watch this when things
are not right between you and god
it’s like a tug of war god wants you to
do the right thing
you’d like to but but but you don’t and
so there’s tension
and stress and uneasiness
and oftentimes unhappiness
lack of peace lack of joy lack of all
the things that paul just mentioned you
see you cannot be living
a life of disobedience to god and have
love joy peace goodness and all the rest
you can
you say well i’m sort of happy the way i
am sorta
but you cannot have real happiness
real joy real peace real love
when you and the lord jesus christ are
not
in agreement with that your life so i
want us to think about this whole
issue of the battle for self-control in
our lives because
all of us either have had a battle
or are in the battle right at the
present time so think about this
would you say that your life is under
control
that you have a sort of a healthy
attitude about all of these things
the desire for acceptance by others
how strong is that desire that you have
that you want to be accepted by
everybody else
the desire to be loved by others do you
want people to love you
that is have a close relationship
what about desires for all types of
pleasure
does that characterize you it just
whatever is fun
whatever makes you feel good for the
moment that’s what that’s what you’re
looking for
what about sex do you have sexual
desires that are outside the will of god
we’re living in a very sexually oriented
society
and paul lived in a society there was a
cesspool
of immorality
and so he knew about it what about
desires for wealth and security
where does that rate on your list of
important things wealth and security
what about desires to achieve and to
excel
is that a healthy desire you have or do
you want to excel above other people
you you want to be better than
what about the desire to have notoriety
and fame
you see this is the reason people do
such atrocious things
as murdering other people they get the
name on television
and the picture and in the newspaper but
look what it cost them
what about would you say that you have a
strong desire for happiness
if that’s true what are you doing to be
happy
what are you being to be happy
what about your desire for personal
attractiveness
is that wrong no it’s not wrong but does
that
uh demand a lot of your time a lot of
your thinking
do you just want to look good or do you
want to look good better than somebody
else
so you feel the friction of that if i
could just if i could just fix my hair
like she fixes hers
or if i could just dress like like like
she dresses or heat dresses
what about a desire to control
do you have a desire to control other
people
somehow you you just got to be number
one
and in your business you are not number
one but you’d like to be you want to be
and then for example a desire for
self-acceptance
i just want to be able to accept myself
the way i am
you and i will never be anyone else
so think about that no matter what you
are
how you see yourself what you intend to
do with your life
you will never be you will never be
like someone else god made you just the
way you are
now whether we distort that by our
actions and our attitudes
that’s another question but as you think
about all of these
would you say that your life is under
control
that you have a sort of a healthy
attitude about all these things
now let’s talk about what self-control
is self-control is basically
thinking before you act which is what a
lot of people do not do
thinking before you act and considering
seriously the possibility of the results
that you’ll have would you say that’s
true of your life
your life’s under control you think
before you act
so the battle for self-control now
beginning in the 19th verse of the fifth
chapter
paul sets us up for the fruits of the
spirit by saying
verse 19. now the deeds of the flesh
notice what he says there are fruits of
the spirit
that is this is the these things we just
mentioned love peace and joy
these attitudes come from the work of
the holy spirit within us
but notice how he contrasts that in
verse 19
in the fifth chapter now the deeds our
actions of the flesh the way we live
are evident which are and the first
three of them have to do with sexuality
sin
he says immorality
impurity sensuality then idolatry
sorcery enmity strife jealous outbreaks
of anger disputes dissention factions
indian drunkenness carousing
things like these of which i forewarn
you just as i have
forewarned you that those who practice
such things will not inherit the kingdom
of god
now watch this verse
you may be seated here or out there
somewhere and you’re saying
then i guess i’m not going to heaven
because i’ve done i’ve done one of all
of those things
the key word in this passage is that i
have warned you
those who practice such things and so i
won’t get into the greek of the
of the verb here but what that means is
it’s a way of life
not not that it has not happened in your
life because more than likely
when i look at this list all of us to
some degree have it
sometimes probably committed one or all
of those
but it’s not a practice it’s not a way
of life for us when you trusted jesus
christ
those things do not fit who we are so
he’s saying
those who practice such things it’s
their lifestyle
a person who drinks all the time it’s
their lifestyle person who’s always into
something
sexual it’s their lifestyle you can just
go ahead and list
if this is your way of life this is what
you’re committed to
he says you’ll not inherit the kingdom
of god
so we’re not saying that a person who
does one of these
is not going to heaven but if you’ve
come to the place in your life
you practice those it’s the way you
think that’s who you
are it’s because you’re not saved you
can’t
live like that continuously and really
be saved
you say well now i thought no listen to
what he said those who practice those
things will
not inherit the kingdom of god
so that’s our actions but what about the
fruit of the spirit
so let’s think about that for just a
moment and
ask ask you a few questions and
when i think about that and think about
the society in which you and i live
think about the fruit of the spirit
versus
what we live around and ask yourself the
question
would you be considered a follower of
jesus with your conduct
the things that you that do and see and
the thing places you go how you spend
your money
in other words are all those things in
your life that
you consider important that they fit who
you are
when you trusted christ as your savior
you turned your back on sin
doesn’t mean that you’ll never sin again
turns your back on sin
and so your commitment to the lord has
to be obedient to him to walk in his
ways
because you want the fruit of the spirit
in your life of love and joy and peace
and goodness and gentleness
and all these fruits you want in your
life because
you’re going to be more satisfied you’re
going to be more secure
you’re going to be able to relate to
other people totally different
than what you used to so as you look at
your life would you say
at this point that you are walking
in the spirit and those who know you
would you say
they know you as a person who walks in
the spirit something different about you
or do they see in you this tension
this stress this anxiety this it’s like
a tug of war
how do you break that tension stress and
all the rest
by surrendering to the lord by turning
your life over to him
by saying god the way i’ve been living
it doesn’t work
that’s not the way i want to live in my
life and i think about people who live
their whole life
captured by some sin living in slavery
in their hearts and their minds many
people
live and die and never experience the
love of god
the goodness of god the freedom of god
the gentleness of god the rewards of god
let them live their whole life
and never experience that so if somebody
should say to you today
well at this point in your life whatever
your age where would you say you are
would you say that you’re a person who
experiences
the love of god a person who
recognizes that he’s the source of
everything
would you say that you’re a person who
loves other people
you’re happy when you see other people
being blessed
you’re happy when you see other people
be saved
you love listening to the word of god
could that be said of you or would you
have to say
i can’t exactly explain it but i’m
really
unhappy i’d like to be different there
are things in my life i’d like to get
rid of but
there’s some things in my life that i
just can’t give up
yes you can there’s not anything in your
life you can’t give up
when it comes to sin if you are willing
to surrender
your life to jesus christ and tell him
i’ve made a blunder of my life
i’ve messed it up i’ve heard of the
people i’ve sinned against you i’ve
sinned against myself
sinned against the people i love the
most god can you help me here’s my life
will it help you change your life
change everything about you self-control
would you say
that your life is under the control of
god
if not let me ask you a question are you
happy
no you’re not you’re satisfied with how
you’re doing in life no
you can’t be living outside of god’s
will
and plan and purpose for your life and
be happy you cannot
not real joy not real peace not any of
those fruit of
that’s not going to be in your life
the fruit of the spirit not of the flesh
and the thing that concerns me most is
how people
live their lives and look back and think
well why did this happen to me
what what why wasn’t i blessed
was it not because you didn’t listen to
god
if you live disobediently before god you
suffer the consequences
in other words all of us who claim to be
followers of jesus
there is no acceptable excuse
for our not attempting to live a godly
life
whereby the holy spirit is in control of
our thinking
and of our actions and when he’s in
control i think
before i act and my actions will follow
his purpose and his plan and his willful
life
so what is the key to our self-control
and so this brief passage of scripture
is paul’s way of giving us an
opportunity to examine
ourselves to see where we are in our
relationship to the lord so
self-control requires that we think
we before we act you gotta get that down
self-control requires that we think
before we act
and this is the problem people act
before they think
and then they’re sorry and so
you must have a strong desire to obey
god
if you don’t have a strong desire to
obey god you’re not going to live
a godly life you’re not going to
overcome
most anything without that strong desire
for
him in your life to enable you
so you’ve got to believe in your heart
that the holy spirit who lives within
you is going to enable you now think
about this
jesus knew all about temptation and
trials and everything else
therefore when he promised us the holy
spirit he knew
how awful society was in those days
when you trusted him as your savior the
spirit of god came into your life
to enable you to live in whatever
society you live in
to overcome all types of sin
so it’s not just you against your
environment it’s you in the holy spirit
who’s promised to give you
whatever you need to be victorious he’s
there for the asking and the yielding of
your life
so when you think about that you think
about you have someone to help you
through this so
you should consider seriously the
following questions think about it for a
moment
before you do anything ask yourself
these questions
how will this affect me spiritually
secondly how will it affect me
financially
and how is it going to affect my health
many people
today are where they are physically
because they have violated
the physical laws that god has given us
and then they wonder why they’re where
they are
so oftentimes it’s a violation of a
principle god’s given us
so think of it how’s it going to affect
me spiritually financially how’s it
going to take my health
and how will others
how is it going to affect how others see
me well they look at you and say
she’s really committed to the lord i can
tell he’s really committed to the lord
you will never talk them into going a
place like that
they will never allow that in their life
that is when you think about your life
how do others see you
not perfect none of us are perfect but
do they see you
watch this do they see you as a true
believer
do they see in you a person who not only
claims to be a christian
but person who lives it out not perfect
but they see the difference in you and
so
you ask this question all these
questions
and ask this question what are the
consequences
of my actions do the people i work with
do they see me as having lived a
christian life
do my friends see me as someone who was
honest today in this situation
do others see me as somebody who’s very
reckless with my money
reckless with my morals reckless with my
attitude in other words
is the fruit of the spirit evident
in our lives every day all day
now think about this for a moment god
has provided his very very best for you
and listen
i didn’t say his best was easy it’s not
easy
it’s difficult sometimes to have god’s
best but let me ask you a question
what’s better than god’s best
nothing and so when paul wrote this
whole
book of galatians he he
listen to what he says for example
he says in the last chapter do not be
deceived
god is not mocked whatever a man sows
this he will also reap
all through this these six chapters he’s
encouraging us
to live a godly life and what does he
say don’t be deceived there was
don’t believe the devil’s lie you know
it’s
you you can’t you can’t mock god so i
don’t believe in god and all the rest
whatever a man sows he will also reap
although he believes it or not god is
not mocked for whatever man sows
this he will also reap period
you say i don’t believe you always reap
what you sow than what you’re saying god
lied
i’ll tell you another reason you can
believe it look around you
look around your friends who drink who
are on drugs
who are living in immorality day after
day after day
who cheat when they can lie when they
can and brag about getting away with it
you don’t you don’t want to live that
kind of life because listen you cannot
change the law of god
you can’t change his law and his law is
listen
whatever we sow we’ll reap and think
about this
you’ve been sowing something all these
years
now god says you’re going to reap a
harvest
does god miss anything no does god
is he a judgmental god no
what the problem is we hear what he says
but we don’t believe what he says
for example if somebody said to me oh i
tell you what pastor
if you just step out all the way down
here
and here’s what’s going to happen if you
do that you can break your leg
would not be foolish to look down for
steps and say i’m going to do it anyway
you know what that’s exactly what people
do
when they hear the word of god they
listen to the word of god
they say yeah i do believe that walk
right out
and do something totally opposite now
listen carefully
it is it is a dangerous thing
to listen to the word of god
and then deliberately willfully
knowingly
disobey god dangerous
because whatever man sows he’s going to
reap
reap what he sows more than he sows in
later then so we don’t like that part
just because you’re not having a bad
time at this point in your life
and you’ve been getting you think you’ve
been getting away with sin
you haven’t gotten away with it i’ll
tell you why
god loves you too much to let you get by
with it
he loves you too much for that besides
that he would not be
being himself god has chosen the very
best
for those who willing to listen
surrender and walk in his ways he’s got
the best
don’t look around and compare yourself
with somebody else
god has a plan for your life
he’s got the best plan for your life ask
yourself this question
what am i doing in my life that’s watch
this carefully
what am i doing in my life that’s
cheating me
out of god’s best
what is it what are you doing that’s
cheating you out of god’s best
creating stress and tension and strife
tug of war in your life
what is it in your life that you just
can’t let go
what is it in your life that you want
that you don’t have
what is in your life that you’re doing
that slam the door
on the blessings of god
when i think about how awesome
loving god is
and then the people who hear the truth
and walk away
thinking there are no consequences
listen to me carefully if you will
listen carefully you’ll hear the devil
tell you this
the devil is saying you don’t have to
believe all that you don’t have to
believe all that
but on this side god is saying you’re
going to reap what you sow
we have a choice and i will say to you
it’s a dangerous thing to hear the
gospel
it’s very dangerous if you listen to the
gospel and turn it off walk away
because then you’re responsible for
knowing the truth
denying the truth and saying no to god
it’s a dangerous thing to hear the
gospel
and it’s an awesome wonderful thing to
hear the gospel
it depends upon how you respond how you
react
let’s pray father in jesus name
what a critical moment this is
the people seated here and people who
are listening and watching
their eternity
may hinge upon their decision in this
moment
oh god may your love sweep over them
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may your love surround them and
undergird them
may they be wise enough to recognize
that you’re god
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the only true god and you have the best
the best plan possible for them
from this point on if they’re willing to
say yes lord
yes yes yes lord in jesus name
amen
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