I heard your questions, and now it is time to answer! Welcome to my “Loving Fearlessly” Course. I am so excited to start off this new year sharing wisdom and advice with you all. None of us are perfect, but here are more ways to love fearlessly in relationships and in marriage! #lisabevere #lisabeverestudy #lisabeverecourse #lisabevere #lisabevereadamant #christianstudy #onlinecourses #truth #whatistruth #lisabeveresermons #godmothers #lisabeveresermon #johnbevere #johnandlisabevere #livingfearlessly #marriageadvice #marriagegoals ______________ Chapters: 0:00 – Lesson Teaser 0:23 – How to Keep Your Marriage Strong 6:36 – Trees and Vines 9:50 – Navigating a Calling to Ministry in Marriage 12:37 – Make Decisions Together ______________ Make a one-time donation to help fund our livestreams, content, events, and more: https://messengerinternational.org/

Become a monthly ministry supporter. Partner with Messenger International and I to distribute free discipleship resources around the globe: https://app.messengerx.com/en-US/donate

Get 10% off books and resources in our store by clicking here → https://3szn.short.gy/T5fH72

______________ Stay Connected: Follow me on Instagram →   / lisabevere  

Follow me on Facebook →   / lisabevere.page  

Follow me on Twitter →   / lisabevere  


there’s always going to be something in

our lives that is going to need to be

pressed out and often that pressing out

happens in a marriage

situation welcome to loving fearlessly

and I I love this next question because

I was able to kind of get some imagery

and I I’m just really excited unpacking

it they asked me how do you keep your

marriage strong now there’s a bazillion

different answers for that but I can

just tell you what I’ve done first you

rest you rest there’s sometimes you’re

in situations you’re like hey I don’t

like this I don’t like that sometimes

you just got to give it a rest there’s

been times in conflict with my husband

where he’s kind of like ramped up and

I’m a little ramped up and I’m like you

know this could just keep ramping up or

I can give it a rest and I will actually

just walk over to him and he’s kind of

looking at me like what are you going to

do and I will just put my arms around

him why cuz I’m just going to give it a

rest sometimes you’re saying too much

and you just need to rest you just need

to just give each other a little bit of

a rest and what I’m saying not like pull

away from each other but just rest in

that relationship just let it rest and I

know that might sound strange but if

you’ve ever been in striving I think you

know what I’m talking about we just got

to give some of the conversations a rest

we got to give some of the arguments a

rest you got to give your marriage a

rest give it give it time just like you

need to be strong you’re going to have

to rest you’re going to have to have

rest here’s a rhythm with rest and then

the next thing you got to feed nourish

it you got to feed and nourish it and

you got to feed and nourish your

marriage what’s healthy you don’t want

to feed it what’s unhealthy you don’t

want to feed a comparison you don’t want

to watch shows that oh if we watch this

show then we’re sexually attracted to

each each other afterwards that’s called

soft porn or maybe worse you don’t want

to put the bad things in and expect a

long-term good result you might have a

shortterm response that you like but

you’re not going to have a longterm

response that you’re going to like so

you feed you nourish it we talked about

different ways to do that make sure you

spend time together make sure you have

conversations constantly being open to

Growing I know as a woman I often didn’t

understand how to feed and nurture my

husband so I talked about not only just

speaking words of affirmation but

affection physical touch and

understanding he heard love differently

than me was super important then you

also have to exercise your marriage you

have to do things that actually help

your marriage gain strength you go

through a hard season instead of just

saying that was horrible that was hard

actually redeem it go back and say you

know I really hated that season of

conflict but I’m looking at how much

closer we are now that thing that was

hard that obstacle that Financial

challenge that parenting challenge that

marital challenge I feel so much closer

to afterwards exercise it understand

that having done all to stand you stand

therefore you gain strength when you

refuse to compromise that you have a

dream for your marriage and that you’re

going to grow your marriage when it

comes to strength if you do not

intentionally build muscles they atropy

I remember being horrified when I was 40

somebody took a measurement on my body

and they said you have the perfect

muscle and fat percentage for a woman of

your age and I was like yes I have the

perfect muscle versus fat ratio I just

need to stay the same weight

I stayed the same weight but a number of

years later they measured my fat ratio a

decade later and it had almost doubled

why I hadn’t gained any weight I also

hadn’t gained any strength and there’s a

lot of marriages you have not gained any

weight you look exactly the same you

have not gained any strength you need to

say what can we do that would look like

what we’re doing right now that’s one

way of exercising your marriage another

way of exercising your marriages go to

counseling when you don’t have a problem

get the tools that you need to build

relational strength in your marriage go

out with elder couples there are so many

older couples that have been married for

40 50 years that if we don’t sit down

and talk to them we’re going to lose all

of the hard-earned

insights that they could share with us

so that would be a way of exercising and

building strength in your marriage

no comparison comparison compromises

your strength doesn’t build your

strength now what you can do is you

could sit down and say where do we want

to be where do we want to be what do we

need to prune what do we need to prop up

what do we need to feed more what do we

need to feed less so the same way you

would build your body is kind of the

same way you would take care of a garden

you would need to water a garden you

would need to tend a garden

which means you have to create some kind

of order for things to grow in you’d

have to weed a garden so that the

nurturing and the nutrients that you’re

putting in aren’t being taken by other

people so what you’re pouring into your

husband is not being taken by another

woman or it’s not being taken but it’s

actually going where you want it to go

you’re going to have to weed something

like baby I want more time with you that

that girl that you like at work that’s

nice no no no no you’re not going out

with her anymore at lunch I need your

emot emotional connection so you just

kind of weed certain things that are

going to be detractors which are going

to be detriments maybe you have

something in your own life maybe you’re

just kind of checking back in on

Facebook with one of those ex-boyfriends

you need to weed that out of your life

your husband deserves your full heart

your full attention don’t just kind of

have that thing in the background that

maybe if this doesn’t work out I’ve

always got this or maybe my husband

isn’t giving me an a affirmation I’m

going to get it out here no you need to

weed that and to have a conversation

with your husband so that you guys can

build a stronger marriage and not be

vulnerable so when I was thinking about

this whole idea of gardening and stuff I

I thought immediately about how God

Compares a man to a tree and a woman to

a Vine it’s interesting it says that the

wife would be like a fruitful Vine and

it says he will be like a tree planted

and I started to think I want to know

the difference

between trees and Vines and I want to

see how trees and Vines interact with

one another and I think this is actually

pretty interesting Psalm 1283 says your

wife will be a fruit of a Vine within

your house your children will be like

Olive shoots around the table and then

of course Psalm 103 just in case you

guys were worried I wasn’t scriptural it

says he will be like a tree so Vines can

grow on trees Vines can grow on trees

but trees cannot grow on vines vines do

not have the strength but they have the

flexibility that a tree does not have

trees can support the weight of a Vine

there are two kinds of vines there are

creepers and there are climbers I think

you know what you want to be already you

do not want to be a creepy Vine you want

to be a climbing vime and it’s

interesting because God Compares himself

I am the vime you are the branches so

this kind of gives us a little bit of an

idea of what a leader does do a leader

creates a structure for his wife to

flourish that’s what leaders do it isn’t

about controlling it’s about I’m going

to create so I love grapes right now I

got a mess of my grape finds because I

let them grow up and I didn’t give them

any structure so if I want to be

effective with planting grapes what I’m

going to need to do is give them

trellises I want to see that a leader

would take the vine and say I need to

make sure I’m I’m great I’m rooted I’m

the vine but I got to make sure my

branches have a trellis they have

something they can grow on because if

they can grow on this then they’re going

to have full

fruitfulness leaders give structures

they are the prop up they are the arms

out they are the trellis so a husband is

given to the wife so that she has what

is on her become fruitful so we want to

talk about that we’re going to to make

sure the tree is fruitful and the vine

is fruitful let’s say the men are like

olive trees there’s a fruit of the Olive

Tree there’s an oil from The Olive Tree

that comes through pressing and then

there is the fruit from the grape and

there is the juice and the wine that

comes from grape again from pressing so

there’s always going to be something in

our lives that is going to need to be

pressed out and often that pressing out

happens in a married situ situation so

if you’re in a situation where your

husband is not knowing how to prop you

up let’s talk about that because it’s a

lot of pressure on a man to feel like I

got to lead in everything I’ve got to

lead in everything and say baby I don’t

need you to tell me what to do I just

need you to give me the structure to do

it and he’s like do it and explain that

difference and I think he’s going to see

it another thing how and again these two

go together how can I manage uh in my

life when I feel calling and like so

this why feels called to the ministry

but her husband doesn’t and she said but

he’s the leader well again if you feel

called to the ministry your husband’s

job as a leader is to give you structure

for you to fulfill that calling so going

back to the purpose of a marriage a

marriage and Leadership is to be

examples these are to cause things to

grow marriage is supposed to be a power

Union not a power struggle if your

husband doesn’t feel called into the

ministry and you do let’s just sit down

and say what is that going to look like

it doesn’t mean you force him to be in

the ministry it doesn’t mean he stops

you from being in the ministry no true

leader is going to ever say I don’t want

you to obey God that’s not what leaders

do but they would say let’s talk about

what that looks like because right now

we have young kids they have young kids

is this something that you develop in

this season and then do in the next

season what would that look like in our

marriage one of the most power powerful

women of God I know is Lisa turkers she

has her entire organization proverbs 31

she writes books she ministers her

husband he owns a business he is

completely separate from what she does

but what he has done is created a

structure and said you you do this I

love what you’re doing bless it go and

do it so why do we have leaders and

again I feel like if you can change this

leaders prop up the dreams of other

people by giving them support structures

but just as life is a collection of

Seasons you’re going to have to know

what your season is and if your leader

says I don’t believe this is what we’re

supposed to do in this season then you

need to talk about that as a couple and

decide what that looks like so there is

a problem when the husband is an

accountant and a woman doctor no not at

all so there shouldn’t be a problem if

the wife is a minister and the husband

is an attorney why would that be a

problem same thing thing husband’s going

to love his wife what does it say as

Jesus loves the church what does Jesus

do says he washes us with the water of

the word he says he believes the best

and says he evokes our beauty that he

loves us in such a way that the God

thing in our life can come out so there

shouldn’t be any competition I’m a

minister and my husband is a

construction you know owns a

construction company my husband’s a

construction worker I’m a te doesn’t

matter you’re going to love each other

you’re going to love and respect your

husband and if he loves you and doesn’t

take the pressure to control you like

Christ loves the church you should not

have a problem but I will say Paul was

very clear that when we get married we

don’t get to make decisions in isolation

we need to make them together so I

believe that you can have a conversation

and you don’t need to be afraid you can

say this is what I’m looking for from

you and he’s probably going to ask you

some questions and you can design what

that looks