I heard your questions, and now it is time to answer! Welcome to my “Loving Fearlessly” Course. I am so excited to start off this new year sharing wisdom and advice with you all. None of us are perfect, but here are more ways to love fearlessly in relationships and in marriage! #lisabevere #lisabeverestudy #lisabeverecourse #lisabevere #lisabevereadamant #christianstudy #onlinecourses #truth #whatistruth #lisabeveresermons #godmothers #lisabeveresermon #johnbevere #johnandlisabevere #livingfearlessly #marriageadvice #marriagegoals ______________ Chapters: 0:00 – Lesson Teaser 0:21 – Welcome Back 0:49 – Preparation to Be a Godly Wife 2:58 – How I Balance These 3 Things 6:28 – Being a Good Wife 9:58 – What John and I Would Have Done Differently 12:43 – Closing Thoughts ______________ Make a one-time donation to help fund our livestreams, content, events, and more: https://messengerinternational.org/

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how did you prepare yourself to be a

Godly wife man I would have wish I’d

known this I actually

didn’t welcome back to loving fearlessly

and we are talking about leaning into

principles for marriage that actually

work in other relationships as well

works with your single but we did really

focus it on marriage I love that so many

of you said if I could sit down with you

for an hour I would want to know

everything you can tell me about

marriage and so I sat down looked at the

list figured out what I could actually

answer there were certain things I can’t

answer that figured out what I could

answer and wrote it down so we’re going

to do another how did you prepare

yourself to be a Godly wife man I would

have wished I’d known this I actually

didn’t I did not prepare myself myself

to be a Godly wife I got married I kind

of you know bought into the whole lie of

once you get married everything is a

happy and they lived happily ever after

and I played a lot of ketchup afterwards

I don’t want to see you do that so I’m

going to talk to you about some things I

wish I would have done that I could have

done to prep first and foremost you’re

going to hear me say over and over again

I wish I would have talked to an older

woman I wish I would have asked her

things everything you know a lot of

times young girls are scared to ask

older women about sex hey they know more

than you do about sex you can talk to

them about sex so I wish I would have

asked that I wish I would have had

somebody that I would have been brave

enough to say I like the marriage and

the life that you’re building what are

some of the things that you would tell

me to do then I would make an honest

assessment of what I was bringing to the

table I think a lot of times we think

just being cute is enough just looking

good in Instagram it’s enough I look

cute on your arm really is that how we

build a healthy americ marriage let’s

talk about an honest assessment of what

we’re bringing to the table I wish I

would have known Lisa all you’re

bringing is a suntan that’s basically

all you’re bringing to the table here

again I did have a little bit of that

wakeup call and I began to lean in

assess my strengths have a an honest

opinion of my weaknesses and then lean

into building those things I remember I

sat down and I made a list of the kind

of mother I wanted to be the kind of

wife I want wanted to be the kind of

employee the kind of things I wanted to

do and as I wrote all these things down

I realized nobody was going to hand

those things to me I was going to have

to grow into them so what are you

bringing to the table what is your hope

for your family what skill sets do you

need to make if you’re newly wed to grow

into that or if you’re in another season

what skill sets what things do you need

to add into your life so you can grow

into that season then this is the

premium question the question I get

every how do you balance marriage

motherhood and and Ministry I decided I

would go ahead and put that in the

marriage section it may be kind of

touched on in the other ones but in the

marriage section how do I balance these

three things and if I had a dollar for

every time I’m asked this question I

could retire to balance something means

you actually need to separate them

separate marriage separate Ministry

separate motherhood if I’m going to be

balancing it has to all be separate that

doesn’t work for me I am a mother I am a

minister and I am a wife these are all

roles I am simultaneously I’m never

going to stop being a mother once I’ve

had a child I will always be a mother

now I might be added in grandmother I

might be added in great grandmother I

got the grandmother thing not the great

grandmother yet I’ll have an addition

but it isn’t something that I’ll ever

have taken away from me I will always be

a minister what it might look like later

in life might change I will always be a

wife even if I was widowed it would have

meant that I had the role of a wife and

I think too many times we try to

compartmentalize things and it becomes a

problem so it’s much larger than who I

am is God’s daughter that’s the biggest

umbrella I have in my life this is the

largest one and as God’s daughter I’ve

had the blessing of being married and

becoming a wife I’ve had the blessing of

having children and becoming a mother

I’ve had the blessing of being able to

be a minister of the Gospel so this is

the roles I play but my identity is

God’s daughter and if you have that as

the bigger umbrella then everything just

kind of goes under that so I think with

Ministry the challenge is different than

like oh but I’m a doctor because we get

kind of muddied because when we

misbehave or we don’t personally uphold

what we Minister it gets very confusing

it gets confusing for our children it

gets confusing for our spouse why are

you nice in the pulpit and mean whatever

so we have to say this is all together

if we see it as separate then our

Behavior becomes separate if we see it

as holistic and all together then we

don’t have a problem with this so again

it’s a it’s a role it’s not identity but

it isn’t something that you ever

separate so what do I do as a minister

mother what do I do I remember my kids

would say Mom we’re going to go in the

grocery store we’re going to go straight

for the milk and we’re going to leave I

don’t want you to make eye contact with

anybody we will not have anybody crying

you are not going to hold hands with

anybody there’ll be no deep meaningful

conversations you go in and you go out

and I tell them I can’t do that my one

son Alec would say I will help you he

would walk behind me with his hand on my

neck and say look at the floor and trust

me that I am taking you to the right

aisle and i’ be like Alex stop this why

because I have the role of a minister

when I’m grocery shopping I have the

role of a mother when I am grocery

shopping I have the role of a wife when

I am doing both of those things so don’t

try to separate it and juggle them you

are all of that together and be holistic

with it and understand there’s different

emphasis in different seasons but they

all work together then this person said

how can I be a good wife when I feel

like I don’t measure up so as soon as I

heard this term measure up feels like

there’s a presence of comparison there

is insecurity and possibly and again I’m

just saying this because I believe that

you guys have come to me jealousy like

there’s somebody that’s measuring up and

I’m not measuring up I I don’t know

what’s going on in your life but

comparison is not going going to help

you feel what you need to compare

yourself with is what kind of wife was I

last month what kind of wife was I last

week what kind of wife was I a year ago

every once in a while John and I will

sit down and say wow a year ago we

thought our marriage was good and this

is what it looked like and now it’s even

better we try to celebrate in comparison

of growth not comparison of other people

but with our self we want to become the

best people that God created us to be so

we don’t want to compare so there’s

learning curves learning curves with

marriage I wish I could tell you that

this is everything you need to know and

this is what it’s going to look like and

this is how it’s going to happen I

remember when I was in elementary school

I used to be very fascinated by bees and

I was so wishing I was a bee because

bees are born knowing everything they

will ever have to know they have

imprinted on them every skill set they

will ever need and be somebody who had

challenges in school this was a hard

thing for me I think I just wish I was a

bee I just wish it was all in me I wish

it was all imprinted I wish I didn’t

have to study and get tested guess what

we’re not bees but everything that you

need is woven into the word of God and

everything that you need is woven into

this desire that you have to measure up

but you don’t want to measure up to

other people you want to measure up to

who God is calling you forth to be and

he’s not comparing you with me or with

anybody else he’s just pulling you forth

according to what you know and what you

can do so I want you just to lean away

from the comparison things we will all

make mistakes we will all make mistakes

the challenge comes what are you going

to do with your mistake are you going to

beat yourself up are you going to beat

your husband up are you going to learn

from your mistake are you going to

redeem your mistake and build a stronger

marriage in the the future see I

actually used to be terrified of making

mistakes I actually used to be scared of

taking risks and I actually know that I

can look back at my life and I’m a

pretty risky person and realize I missed

some opportunities because I was afraid

of making a mistake CU I didn’t measure

up God’s got your back you know if you

say I’m going to I’m going to lean into

this and I’m going to be the best wife I

can be again you’re going to make

mistakes but having a perfect heart and

wanting to grow into that God’s going to

honor that so we can learn more when we

make more mistakes when we know to do

better we do better so take the risk and

learn from it so um we’re not suffered

wives we are not perfectly submitted

women but we are women who are perfectly

submitted to God and have perfect Hearts

so we’re going to all make mistakes we

have imperfect husbands we’re imperfect

women and we can grow um somebody said

what would John and I have done

differently so I know that I’ve already

mentioned it before but we would have

been much more careful with the things

we said about one another to friends we

sometimes cause friends if I talk to the

wife he talked to the husband caused our

friends to side wife side with me

husband side with John and then it made

it really awkward we would not have done

that with knowing it or not we ended up

dishonoring one another another thing we

would have known is to we had permission

to ask for help we got saved in the

early ‘ 80s and the ‘ 80s were a weird

time period where you had to act like

you knew everything even if you didn’t

know everything we needed somebody to

say it’s okay for you to ask for help

it’s okay for you to ask for input it’s

okay for you to ask for counsel I wish

that we would have known that we could

ask for help not just from anybody but

from the right people I think for too

long we kind of made it sound like in

the church you should just know

everything saying in in the spirit or in

the scripture and there were tools that

we needed to do relationship well that

weren’t brought into the church early on

that I wish I could have known I could

have gone and said I need to know how to

do these relational tools pastors

sometimes have counseling background but

a lot of times they don’t they don’t get

all of that teaching when they’re in

things so you have permission I just

want to say this to you you have

permission to go to the right people for

the right Council to get what you need

so I I wish I would have had that uh

another thing is um I wish we would have

spent more time with our family at home

I wish that we would have been a little

bit more intentional even at home we

were busy I wish we would have paused

and spent more time with our family at

home I also wish we would have done more

intentional vacation so what we kind of

did was hey I’ve got to preach here and

why don’t we take all the kids and I’ll

preach and we’ll do a little vacation

and then we’ll do preach on the end I

wish we would have said nope we’re going

to only do vacation with our kids so we

can be fully invested in them and not

just kind of have the bonus Ministry

vacation in between because we were

always thinking about what you know we

had to do soon on the weekend I wish we

would have taken more risk on every

single level and made more time to enjoy

one another’s company one of the things

I love doing with my husband more than

anything else is going for a walk I wish

I would have done that more so I’m going

to do it more in the future I’m not

going to be sad that I didn’t do it in

the past but I’m going to do it more in

the future so I hope these are some

things that will help you think about

what you want to do differently in the

future rather than feel bad about it I

hope you understand none of us measure

up there’s going to be that constant

accuser that’s going to say you’re not

good enough you’re not good enough and

you just need to say I’m not good enough

but the grace of God and the love of God

and the word of God is transforming me

in every single day I’m growing in Grace

and strength and being transformed into

a woman who loves