With a heart to share Christ and love people, Joyce’s messages help people in all walks of life to grow in their faith, learn to study the Bible, find healing from the wounds of life, get answers to life’s questions and encounter the love of God in a powerful way.
oh
what’s that look at here
i heard yeah hey guys we’re giving out
wisdom today so i thought i’d come by
and get a little
friends this is joyce meyer’s talk it
out podcast and we are so glad that
you’re here to come on in
with us this is where joyce teaches the
word of god
in her practical wonderful no-nonsense
way
and my friends and i talk about the real
stuff of living it and we hold nothing
back and i just have a feeling today is
going to be one of those days
there’s already nothing held back uh i’m
ginger stocky
with my friends jay williams and aaron
cluley three
friends who are all in very different
stages different stages of life but
we really do understand the importance
of having
honest loving women around you consider
yourself one of us because sometimes you
got to talk about life with your
girlfriends
so come on in and let’s talk it out
let’s talk it out
hi youtube hi i just want to start by
saying
your hair looks really good today oh not
that it doesn’t look good any other day
but
i said that too when i saw it
did you get it cut or did did you cut it
because we know
i know yeah it’s usually a little bit of
both
but yeah um i did i did get a recent cut
it looks very good and the blue is
bringing out your eyes thank you
well that’s one of the things i was
telling erin with this outfit
it’s like it wrinkles so bad i iron and
iron and iron and also
i look like i’ve been through a tornado
again right away
and we’re talking today our topic is
about wisdom
and needing help in life everyday
questions
and just needing wisdom and i’ve just
felt like that lately
it’s so many things like i sat down here
today and i went ah
do you ever just feel like that and then
jay comes in and she sits down and does
the exact same
thing that is my move like aaron’s the
only one that’s like oh hey guys
i’m a wrinkled mess and i’m a hot mess
it is hot in here too i’m like is it hot
in here today or am i it’s just
adrenaline from just like about a day
already but it’s good
here’s one of the things that that i’ve
discovered i needed wisdom on and what
i’ve decided to do about it so
i have to find a new way to drive to
work
because it’s a big deal it is but
unfortunately from where i live there
are two ways that take about the same
amount of time i like to go one way
but there is this intersection where i’m
going to lose my salvation
if i don’t stop going that direction we
definitely don’t want you to keep going
that way well
yeah so let’s just be really clear you
cannot lose your salvation
at an intersection thank you for making
however you can get really close
i’m just getting more and more angry
because people never stop
and like it’s like a curve and a stop
and so you can’t see when they’re coming
and i can’t tell you how many times i
have to slam on my brakes
yeah and so it’s one of those things at
the intersection where i’m like
who wants to come to work that way so
that is
go a different way yeah that is you look
how simple that was i know
you know it’s going to take me another
hour and a half but that’s okay no it
won’t really
but you know sometimes you’ve got to
make choices in life yeah it’s true
well joyce has been working on a new
project
about proverbs and all of the wisdom
that is in that book and so today like i
said
we’re just talking about questions that
we face every day
and how to find the answers and there is
so much in the book of proverbs and all
throughout god’s word
where we can learn so much
so let’s jump in and get started with
joyce talking about how we can find
wisdom in god’s word proverbs
promises us that if we walk in wisdom
that everything else that we need will
come along with it
i mean the promises in proverbs
of what god will do for us if we operate
in wisdom
are astounding i mean it’s riches and
honor
and promotion and long life and good
health and
all the things that we really want if we
just
apply wisdom anybody who would take the
book of proverbs
study it and apply every principle in it
would have a life that was so amazing i
mean it would be like
jaw-dropping amazing so
before i go any further i want you to
consider
are you applying to your life
the things that you say you know
are do you often hear yourself say
i know i shouldn’t do this but or i know
i
should do this but well that means you
know what to do
but you’re not doing it wisdom is a
depth depth
of insight that goes beyond the surface
of a thing
wisdom takes us beyond the way things
look
to the way they really are wisdom
goes beyond how we feel
to do what we know is right
you see we have a flesh
and the flesh consists of our body and
our soul
and what god wants he comes to live in
our spirit and he wants
to be able to have control of the soul
if the spirit and the soul
are in control then satan has already
won
well the soul is mind will and emotions
and so often people live based on what
they want they think and they feel
i want i think i feel i want i think i
feel
but proverbs is telling us that we need
to go way beyond all that
we need to live beyond how we feel i
mean our feelings are
are real and
you know we don’t have to say we don’t
have them we can admit that we have them
but we can’t let them control our
decisions our mind
how often do we say well i think i think
i think i think but what does god’s word
say
and even what we want well i want this i
want that
you know god didn’t call us to have
everything that we
want in life he’s called us to do his
will and if we do
then we’ll end up with everything that
we want that is something that we really
should have so when you hear what joyce
was was talking about with
everything that god wants for us
um to get those things we have to
operate in wisdom
right because if we don’t obey and
follow what his word says
then we’re not going to have the great
life that he wants us to have and i’m
not talking about stuff
right you know i’m talking about peace
and contentment
and joy and all the fruit of the spirit
so
for you guys what what are those big
areas that you feel like you’re
always searching for wisdom just
questions that you’re asking the lord
because i’m sure if it’s true for us
it’s true for all of our friends as well
the first thing i wrote down on my notes
i have to quote it to you
i hoped she wouldn’t mention our
emotions
[Laughter]
that would work yeah because before i
we i started setting i thought probably
my feelings get in the way but
like let’s just not worry about that
part i’m sure it’s not that big of a
deal
and that’s one of the first things she
addressed and so i was starting to think
about that and
my emotions really do dictate a lot of
decisions i make or how i process
information sure
and so if i run down that trail of how
i’m feeling about something then i’m not
um
oh what’s that look at
here i heard
but hey guys we’re giving out wisdom
today so i thought i’d come by and get a
little we’re waiting to get some from
you
she wants to get away now we were
calling her did i miss him
i am shocked it’s a surprise
but i’ll tell you after seeing your
shiny black pants and her black leather
pants
i’m like i wore my jeans today which i
hardly ever wear
thinking well i’m just going to go up
and surprise them and just be really
casual
and everybody’s all dressed up but your
boots are fancy yes i love it you look
good
so you’re teaching people some wisdom
we were just listening to you teach
about it and eric okay
you have to share what you said again
aaron in your notes no emotions i heard
that
okay don’t do it i’ve been listening wow
so you’re talking about wisdom who knows
what wisdom is
you know that was something i was
actually thinking about when i was
studying this is
that feels like such a really big word
yeah and i can’t i can’t even define it
for you because it feels
so big it sounds intimidating so you
tell me what it is
yes well wisdom is the accurate
application of knowledge
or i like to say it’s doing now what
you’ll be satisfied with later on in
life
that’s good yeah so all of our decisions
have some kind of consequences
one way or the other yeah and so most
people
are what i call gamblers in life they
they do the wrong thing hoping they’ll
get by with it and won’t have
any concept that is really true and what
god wants us to be as investors he wants
us to pay the price up front
even if it’s hard yeah or we have to
give something up
you know take for example like saving
money nobody’s ever going to save any
money if they won’t give up something
up front for the reward that they’ll
have
on the back end yeah and so um
how many people want to be physically
fit and they want to
have good muscle tone but they don’t
want to
do the work and and how often do people
say i know i should but
yeah i know i shouldn’t but yeah i know
i should but
and uh i would say that probably
the biggest problem that we have as
christians
is it’s not that we don’t know what to
do
we do know what to do i mean now there
are
there’s obviously some who don’t know
what to do because they haven’t
sure been born again that long they
haven’t had that much time to study the
word
but there are lots and lots and lots of
people
that have been in the word years and
years and years i mean they’ve it’s
underlined it’s color-coded it’s you
know
they’ve got hanging around their house
but
there can’t be a gap between what we
know and what we do yeah
you’re right and james said to be to to
know what to do
and then not to do it you’re deceiving
your own selves
you’re so right i just need to move
around here
and cuddle right up here and listen to
you because what you’re saying
is so spot on because when you talk
about
wisdom it seems like this big thing that
only
very very wise people or solomon you
know rulers have
right there are so many things that i
know
i should be doing and and it’s i think
it’s so much more of
god softly telling you things and the
word telling you things all along
but a lot of them i’ve learned over the
years and i continue to do and
and i’m so grateful for the wisdom that
i’ve learned but those areas that i
still have trouble are often because
i’m not following through yeah just the
other day i
this actually happened and i i
acknowledged it i
was upset about something and so i went
with my feelings and i had the thought
aaron you know what to do here this is
not the you’re not going the right way
you know what the word says
you should handle it this way and i i
said yep and then i did that
that is not what she did and
then afterwards i thought that’s exactly
what you’re not to do did it not go the
way you want no it absolutely did not
then you know what your mama would say
you deserve what you got yeah i did i
totally did
mama was right mama choice is right too
it’s um
and a lot of the things that we know to
do
and that we don’t do they’re not
necessarily things that
we’re going to go to hell if we don’t do
them right we’re not going to lose our
salvation
if we don’t exercise right now we’re not
going to
you’re so happy to know that right i
mean
you’re not going to lose your salvation
if you’re 50 pounds overweight but
it will make you unhappy right you won’t
feel as good
you won’t be as healthy and it’ll be
something that
sits on your spirit like a heavy weight
all the time and the thing is is if you
just pay the price up front
and do what you need to do for
several months or you know a few weeks
depending on
whatever it is and i’m not just picking
on weight it’s that way with how many
people are in so much
trouble financially yeah i mean they
just i mean they’re spending
next week’s paycheck before they ever
get done with the week and they’ve
already they’re so in debt that they
already owe everything that they’re
going to make for the next two or three
years and so they become discouraged
and then they feel like they’re not
making enough money then they get mad at
their
their boss because they’re not being
paid enough and they start blaming
everybody else and then they start
resenting people who have more than them
and really the promises of god i love
this they’re for whosoever will
yeah and whosoever will means
anybody can have the life that jesus
died to give us
if we god’s not going to show us what to
do then do it for us and that’s what a
lot of people think
yeah yeah i’ve asked him to yeah yeah
yeah it doesn’t can you
you know make my food have no calories
in it or
you know we can ask god to give us the
grace to to work out or
give us the grace to save money or you
know whatever the case
might be discipline your children i mean
there’s a there’s a lot of different
different things so what areas
do you feel like that you need wisdom
and what practical areas do you feel
like you need to apply more wisdom in
your if you only knew that
pages of notes you have questions
i will i mean one of the things in that
clip that we played before
that really was like an eye eye-opener
for me was when you said
wisdom pushes us beyond how we feel
right
and one of the things that i when we
first started talking about this was
going to be the topic for
this particular podcast and i was
thinking what will i ask joyce like
what do i need help with wisdom on one
of the things was getting out of
that uh pit of despair of like feeling
because for instance this past weekend i
was just trying to i’m typically a
planner
but i felt so like kind of like
burdened with all of the things that
needed to get done
and because of some of the things that
have happened over the past like year
year and a half or so feeling like so
many things were out of my control
you know like you do so much work you
try to live the right life you do the
right thing
you know virgin until marriage and all
that stuff you know you do all of these
things
and now look at what’s happening and how
in the world did this happen to me and
so
that that fear of feeling like even if i
do all the things like it still doesn’t
matter so i started
getting in this like wild like this pit
of
of like feelings you know but then what
honestly pulled me out
of it was making choices to say you know
what these are feelings these are
temporary
let me keep doing things to keep moving
forward and so
um that was one of the things that i was
going to ask you like how do you get
yourself from
like feeling so overwhelmed to getting
to a place where
you use the the knowledge and you know
you you actually make the choices to
to first of all let me say i just read
this morning and it applies to what
you’re talking about and i think it’ll
help some people
i actually read it yesterday i went back
and read it again this morning
when we ask see we ask the wrong
questions a lot of time
like why did this happen to me right
is not a good question you’re not
you’re not ever going to get an answer
that you’re going to like yeah with that
the question should be what should my
response be
to what’s happened to me yeah it’s not
like why did this happen to me but god
how do you want me to respond
because that’s so hard no you can’t even
do you can’t even do that that’s not
even a wise statement okay
keep talking all right
no
that’s the biggest excuse that people
use
yeah and there’s a scripture that says
the things that i have commanded you are
not too difficult for you to do
so god is not going to tell us to hear i
hear you right now
god’s not going to tell us to do
something that’s too hard for us to do
the bible shows that he
that he won’t if he if god is leading
you to do or not to do something
then you can do it but we even fool
ourselves with that thinking it’s just
too hard
yeah i just can’t do it just too hard
like i didn’t exercise for years and
years and years and my husband’s been
exercising
the whole time we’ve been married he’s
like so amazing when it comes to
discipline it’s just like annoying
and he would tell me you know
you need to work out you need to
exercise you need to work out you’d feel
so much better
you know and so
i deceived myself by telling myself
i didn’t have time i was too busy i just
i don’t have time with all this work i’m
doing how can i write these books and do
all these conferences and
come up with all these messages and now
you expect me to work on meaning you
know
and we get like that when we don’t want
to do something it’s like we
we start feeling like people are
demanding something out of us and
they’re
pressuring us and uh
finally one day i looked at myself in
the mirror and i think i was about in my
early 60s 62 something and i thought
what kind of problem
[Laughter]
houston we got a problem
[Laughter]
of course i wasn’t fully clothed and so
i
i just saw man it’s going the wrong
direction
things that used to be here are now here
are now
yeah and i felt like god just spoke to
my heart
and just very simply said to me if you
don’t
start doing this now
you’re not going to be strong for the
last third of your journey of what i’ve
called you to do
yeah and that was the best thing to say
to me because
nothing is more important to me than
finishing yeah
what god’s called me to do yeah i mean
that
i have a passion to do that that
drives me in a right way i mean i’m
motivated by that
and so i thought well okay i’ll
i’ll go i’ll get a trainer i’ll go to
the gym and when i told dave he laughed
oh he just he
said oh yeah that’ll last about a week
and i said
you just wait and see he said exactly
what he needed to say for you to do it
he
did it so by the time i actually made
the appointments that got there he
decided he wanted to go too
it’s amazing how i found the time that i
was positive before that i didn’t have
and when it comes right down to it
and this is just straightforward but we
make
time for what’s important to us that’s
really true and so if spending time with
god is important to us
we will make time for it spending time
with our kids
is important to us we will make time for
it
and making time for exercise right
you’ll find it and things will start
looking up at so many ways
everything will be higher than it was
before
yes you know you like it then when you
start to get the compliments and you do
have more energy and you feel better and
everybody doesn’t have to hire a trainer
and go to the gym
there’s lots of ways to exercise i know
you like to play tennis and you you hike
and you know i don’t want to play tennis
our hike i mean i’d much rather go to
the gym than to go on a hike
to me like i don’t want the dirt the
bugs the leaves
a lot of people love to love to walk and
i’ve got a story about that too but i
don’t want to tell too many stories i
want to i want
to get your questions so back to what
you ask about how do you get from there
to there well you are
you know the answer you get yeah you got
to make a decision
yeah and then you you have to do what’s
hard
you know that’s a huge statement right
there yeah do what’s hard
what god spoke to me out of out of
galatians is
says be not weary in well-doing for in
due time you shall reap if you faint not
yeah see when you’re doing what’s right
when it feels right
you’re not growing
but when you do what’s right when it’s
hard for you
or when you’re not getting the right
result like you said well i’ve done this
and you know i’ve done everything right
and
look at what’s happened to me well
but continuing to do what’s right even
though you’re not getting the right
results
yeah you know like how many people try
tithing and if it’s not working in two
weeks then they go back to not doing it
yeah
and i mean dave and i had some rough
lean
financial years and i remember telling
god i’m gonna do this
yeah until you come back to get me if i
never
see we can’t just do what god wants us
to do
because
we feel like it or because we get a
right result
i think that’s a real problem we don’t
we don’t just say well i’m going to do
this to get the right result
i’m going to do it because i love god
and that’s what he told me to do yeah
that’s so helpful that’s so good
and and honestly the moment i pulled
myself out of my feelings
and how i felt and just did what i
needed to do
i honestly started feeling better right
sure your feeling
your feelings follow your decisions yeah
it’s good but if you let your decisions
follow your feelings
right you’ll be in trouble it sounds
like wisdom really is
that like in the in between part like
the uncomfortable part so i’m deciding
today to do something that is
uncomfortable and goes against
what my flesh wants because i i see what
i
what i’m working towards i see that
promise god has for me or i see
so it’s that in between hard part that
and you have you have other examples
around you
we all know people while we’re still
making our journey that have made theirs
and you can look at them and see i can
see that this works
yeah in your life you know we we admire
the people who have already done the
hard part
and have the result sometimes foolishly
we’re jealous of them which is really
silly because you can’t
you know you can’t want what somebody’s
got if you don’t want to do what they
did to get it yeah that’s true
just uh kudos to you ginger that you i
am walking that out because of you so
right now
because of a situation i’m going through
you’ve already been through it
you’ve shared you’ve shared your
experience
and you shared how you it was hard but
you you guys made the right choices
and now look where you are so that gives
me hope that i can keep making those
right hard choices to get to
the promise and that is our our
testimony really is our life
absolutely it’s the victories that we
have
and we give the glory to god you know
it’s not we can’t do anything just by
willpower
plus god i’m going to go do this you
know you got to have god’s grace
and uh every
time before i go to work out i ask god
to give me the grace to do it
because and there’s a lot of days i
don’t want to go
you know yeah and you do it anyway yeah
and i’m another
13 14 years on the other side of when i
started so
and you look good you do and it was
funny to me how you like
yeah when i was 62 i started my i’m like
man she looks good you know like i think
that’s so encouraging so
just think if you didn’t even share or
if you
succumbed to your feelings even when you
first started ministry
to even share your testimony which a lot
of people weren’t
yeah nobody was talking nobody was
talking about yeah nobody was talking
about that stuff then
look at all the people that you’ve been
in influenced and impacted and
been even i know for all of us like such
a
man i have to give god the credit for
that because i i look back and i think
how did i have the nerve
yeah to stand up on a platform in front
of thousands of people
and tell the details of my abuse
how many people needed to hear that it
could only be the grace of god that
enabled me to be
bold enough to do that well along those
lines
let me ask about this too because you
had to use wisdom in doing that
you don’t do something like that without
the holy spirit leading you
right yeah and and knowing that that’s
what you’re supposed
to do right jay has shared very openly
about her divorce and everything that
you’ve been through this past
year and you had to use wisdom and what
you have and
have not shared and right erin’s also
talked about some difficult things that
she’s been going through without sharing
all the details
because it’s not the time yet right for
her to do that is that fair to say
very much so using wisdom in what we
say what we don’t what we share and
how we allow god to use it yeah that’s
not always an easy thing to know
and i even tell people like sometimes
people say hey listen i
i know so and so or this young girl or
whatever that’s
been through the same thing you have do
you think your testimony will
help her and i i prefer them to listen
to it first
and make sure that the person’s ready
for it yeah because
the thing that got me started towards
seeking healing was
i started reading a book about a woman
who had had the same thing happen to her
and man when i started reading that i
mean all this rage and i mean this
all these feelings started pouring out
of me because i had not faced it
i had just shoved everything down and so
i don’t
i mean you’re right i don’t even want
anybody to listen if they’re not
ready yeah to do some of the hard stuff
because
there’s no there’s no magical
answer no magic wand that you can wave
over somebody that has been deeply
wounded emotionally and needs healing i
mean
it takes confronting issues and
being truthful with yourself and taking
responsibility for where you’re at
even though where you’re at is not your
fault
you have to stop blaming if you’re ever
going to
go forward so yeah that’s all hard stuff
but there is so much help
in scripture through the holy spirit
helping us to know
how to do these things and so when when
this
wisdom comes it’s not always exactly a
yes or no clear answer so often it’s
the gentle guidance of the holy spirit
walking through us
and and sometimes pulling us back when
we’re starting to go
on a path that he doesn’t want us to let
me ask you about some of those other
questions
the everyday questions that people have
that they’re looking for wisdom on right
so
some are yes or no some are bigger how
to things but
you know there are questions like do i
marry this person
or you know do i take this job
how do you seek wisdoms for the wisdom
for those types of big decisions in your
life
well obviously there’s practical things
to think about do i take this job
okay is it do i have a job already
or do i have no job if i have no job and
somebody’s offering me a job
that one’s looking pretty good that
one’s looking pretty good you know i
might need to take that yeah
and if it turns out not to be the right
one then i i look for something else but
if i already have a job and i’m just
wanting to make a
a move to you know come up i mean you
look at things like distance how far am
i going
drive so practical questions yeah you
you ask yourself
things i remember uh
darlene check the worship leader from
australia love darlene
she i was asking her one time
because for a long time i just i said
yes to almost
everything that anybody asked me to do
until i about killed myself and then i
knew that i had to start
saying no and you know anybody who asks
you to come and do something for them
they don’t want to hear no
and you don’t you don’t want to hurt
people’s feelings you don’t you don’t
want them to think that you think you’re
too good to come and do their event or
whatever it is and so
i knew i needed to start making some
decisions but
you know i love it all so it’s like
what do i say no too and i asked her i
said how do you decide
what to say yes to and what to say no to
and she just gave me the best piece of
advice she said i think through
everything it’s going to take for me to
go do it
how how how long is the plane ride going
to be
is it some am i going to have jet lag
really bad when i get there
is that going to take me two weeks to
recover how long is it going to take me
to get back
you know what uh just just all kinds of
practical questions like that
so in making those decisions yeah you
have you think through what what
what’s this going to mean you know yeah
i mean somebody can take a job where
they’re going to make another
say 100 a month but are they going to
put out more for child care
are they going to spend more on gas are
they going to be required to wear a
different kind of wardrobe than what
they own how much are they going to have
to spend on clothes to be able to do
that
so you can you can’t just say oh yes
yeah
you know you need to think about it the
same way with getting married first of
all
is the person a believer you know so
many people think they’re going to marry
an unbeliever and change them when they
get married
and it’s not going to happen that’s not
scriptural is it yeah i mean
dave took me on and god
he deserved it though because he prayed
for god to give him somebody that needed
help and he got me
and i i did believe in jesus but i
didn’t i didn’t know
a thimble full of anything all i knew
how to do was throw fits till i got my
way
and so you’ve also said in making those
decisions
how important it is to follow peace yeah
follow peace know that
you know a lot of times i think god
speaks to us
by just a knowing i think that’s what
that still small voice is
i don’t think it’s always a voice voice
like we think
of a voice i think it’s just you just
if you get quiet and still yeah you know
we’re we’re not as dumb as we like to
pretend that we are sometimes you know
it’s like we
especially people that have been in the
word you know for a while i mean i got
married when i was 18.
and i wasn’t a practicing christian i’d
been born again when i was nine
but i didn’t know anything i didn’t know
anything about the word
and i knew
that i was making a mistake marrying
that guy yeah down deep inside
i i knew it but i was so afraid that i
would never have anybody
yeah i thought nobody would ever want me
because i’d been abused
that i desperate people do dumb things
and so i was desperate and i did
something that i knew
down deep inside yeah wasn’t right
and so people know let’s talk about
for moms out there who are listening a
little bit
wisdom and raising their children jay’s
raising a teenager
yes lord lord help me aaron
is raising young children and honestly
i’m still raising adults because you
don’t ever stop
i started to say mine moved out of the
house but i don’t think they ever really
left
any questions along those lines what
what types of things
do you crave wisdom for all of it i just
honestly feel like i’m making it up most
days
sometimes i’ll tell them that i mommy
what about this i honestly have no idea
so let’s just try it but like sometimes
i don’t have a lot of time to listen for
the
for god’s peace because i just have to
decide things or
this year has been really challenging
because of of covid
and so they’re able to go to school in
person but they have to wear masks and
there’s there’s a lot of rules
upon them that we’re not used to and so
having wisdom to navigate how do i
how do i show my kids that this is it’s
gonna get better
and this isn’t normal but make them feel
like they’re safe and
this everything we’re still happy and
everything’s gonna be fine but
also acknowledging this is different how
do i
any wisdom you know what i think about
parenting
if anybody could raise four kids
that turned out like mine did
it shouldn’t have been me because i had
no good example matter of fact i had a
very bad example
and i marvel that my children are all
born again serving god
good marriages and
we have a tight-knit family
and i believe that if you believe in god
that he will give you the grace to raise
your children
that’s good and i think a lot of the
things that you give answers to that you
wonder whether or not it’s right
you need to trust more that god
is giving you you know what you need to
say
it’s not like you don’t care and don’t
love your kids and you know you care
about them you love them you pray for
them
and so and you know when we love god and
we want his will
sure we make mistakes but god loves us
so much he’ll take that mistake and
somehow work it into our life to where
we learn
something from it that actually ends up
being a benefit in our life
later on it makes me think of that verse
um lean
you’re trusting in god and leaning on
his understanding and not on my own
so even if i mess up i’m trusting him
he’s going to make that path straight
so probably even so for my kids right
that’s exactly right and you know
when i raise kids we i i get kind of
amused now all the parenting classes
that people have in the parenting books
and the parenting seminars and
we had one book it was dr spock
the thing was about this thick and it if
you wanted to know anything about how to
you know do anything with your kids it
covered
all these different things it could be
medical things and
all these different things i mean we had
no help we had god we didn’t i didn’t
know what i was doing
i i’m so grateful the things that you
are explaining
are exactly what i experienced because
it was being in the word really all of
my life
that taught me things that i didn’t know
i was asking for
does that make sense and you knew things
you didn’t know you knew exactly
because when the need came yeah i had
the foundation
of god’s word to help me make the right
decisions and be guided and like you
said still make so many mistakes
that god’s grace is still covering and
would cover but
the the more that you can be in his word
the more wisdom you’re gaining all the
time and you don’t even realize it for
the situation that will come up six
months later yeah
yeah it’s good and sometimes you can
have a child that
is going to act up or act out or be
rebellious and
and it’s not something you did
you know yeah they make their own
choices i mean yeah i mean sometimes you
know yes
it’s because of what parents have done
but not all the time i mean you just
have some kids that just
i don’t care if everybody else is going
to go right they’re going to go left
and you know you get a strong-willed
child you have to
have to learn how to deal with them a
little bit differently yeah i was gonna
um just ask because one of the questions
i had had was about letting go
um like in general like you
i don’t think really anyone likes to
feel like they’re still holding on to
things
some people probably do but i sure don’t
like i want to let go
and then as we’re talking about children
with my daughter she’s she’s 17
and i i know that i i
will i believe i’ve done my a pretty
good job
you know at raising her up to this point
you know
um great great girl we can also vouch
for that
you have to you are she’s a good she’s a
good she’s awesome yeah she’s a great
girl and
loves the lord but um she and i
think very differently and i’ve i’ve
tried to be one of these like
millennial parents that allow her to
think differently
you know but i want to let because she’s
i’m trying
you know because you have this idea in
your head of how you kind of can see how
your kid you know you see their gifts
and talents and like oh i believe she
could do this and do that
but she’s out of phase now she’s a
senior in high school
and um now i’m like okay what are we
doing next you know
yeah and she’s so chill and like mom i
might just go to like
you know like a jesus school or
something to just
spend time with jesus i’m like is that
going to make you any money you know so
but i want to be able to like give her
that
encouragement but also let go to the
point where i’m like god i trust you
with her future and trust that you’ve
given her a mind and a
and i’ve done my part you know to trust
that
she’s going to make some good decisions
but without letting too
much go so i i need to well you’re going
to any parent
no matter how old your child is
you’re not going to withhold
an opinion or saying something to them
if you really believe they’re going to
hurt themselves
yeah but you also i mean you just can’t
run your grown kids lives
and you you know she’s 17. so she’s not
grown yet but i’ve got kids that are
three in their 50s and one in their 40s
and so
i usually don’t try to give them much
advice unless they ask me for it
and that was hard for me because i’ve
got a personality that wants to tell
everybody
you know yeah the right way well you
know
you absolutely will ruin your
relationship with them if you do that
because they’re god has created people
to want to
uh we we’ve got 17 year old twin
granddaughters and boy they’re like
they’re wanting to do their thing now
you know and uh you got it you got to
let them
try their wings a little bit you got to
let them sometimes all you can do is say
well i don’t i don’t think that’s wise
but you know
you pray about it you think about it and
you know she’s she’s not an adult just
yet so you still got a little bit of
a little bit of room there but pretty
soon she’s going to be
old enough that you really have to let
her make
her own choices and it’s it’s
challenging it’s hard it’s hard to watch
them make choices sometimes oh yes
that you know are not your decisions it
is it’s so painful and nothing
hurts a mom like their children hurting
you know
like you’d rather you’d rather have it
yourself i wish i could just sometimes
take some of the pain away from her and
i can see her
wanting to make certain decisions and
she’s made a really really big one that
you know that i was just really blessed
that she made the decision
it wasn’t what i wanted her to make but
i was proud of her for making that
decision
okay like that and that’s that was hard
for me it’s like it was a
strange emotion to feel that that that
you know
balance of i am proud of her from using
wisdom
right what was best for her um but it
definitely wasn’t best for me
but but uh i was very proud of her that
is really true because when
when you do start that process of
letting them
use their own wings and you begin to see
the wisdom
and the gifts and the things that god
has put in them it’s a beautiful thing
they’ve done so much better things than
if i would have tried to control
everything it would have
ended up i might have kept them in the
wrong place or in a small box and god
meant
for so much more yeah we never know what
god has in store for our children
all of my kids have always lived real
close to me i’m talking about
around the corner more you know
three minutes away 20 minutes away is
the furthest any one of them’s ever
lived well now one of them’s moving to
utah which is like
1300 miles away and
no i don’t like it but i know it’s the
best thing for him
i know that it’s the right thing yeah
for him and i believe that
it has part to do with his destiny and
might not be what i would have chosen i
would have rather said you know i think
you should do pepta
but here is your plan i’ve written it
out for you
here’s your life i’ve organized it for
you
but you change is not easy like that
yeah you know it’s always it’s always
challenging but the way we look at
change determines whether we’re going to
be able
to navigate it if something’s going to
change
to fight it’s foolish yeah because all
it does is make you miserable
as we as we close out this has been so
great thank you
thank you so much we’re so glad you
stopped by
yes um you’ve been
studying proverbs you’ve written this
book um from
proverbs how we find wisdom so for our
friend right now
who is searching for answers looking for
wisdom
what are what are a few steps that you
would tell them
this is a good process well if it’s
wisdom in a specific area
that you can find scripture on which
i think the bible pretty much answers
it’s not going to tell you what car to
buy or
exactly who to marry but it will give
you guidelines
on who to marry you don’t go buy a new
car if you can’t afford a new car and
it’s gonna
you know so i would go first to the word
i’d pray about it
go first to the word and if you really
if you really want an answer from god
he’ll give you one and if you
the holy spirit is our counselor and
mainly
we should depend on him but there’s also
wisdom in asking somebody else that’s
a strong well-grounded spiritual leader
that you trust
not somebody that’s going to try to run
your life but somebody that you know
can give you a decent piece of advice i
think it’s
i think it’s good sometimes i like to
say to people that ask me for advice
well what do you think you should do
and it’s amazing how many times they
already know what to do they’re just
afraid
to do it yeah and uh so you go to the
word you pray
ask a spiritual leader if that’s what
you feel led to do
and then you you get quiet
try to turn your head off and see what’s
in your heart
what’s what’s really in your heart
and that’s what you got to go with got
to follow your heart
that’s so great thank you very much we
appreciate it
we do have a free online study
called in search of wisdom and so if
anybody wants to dig into that
go to joycemeyer.org talk it out
and you can sign up for that free study
it will come right to you it’s a very
easy way
to get the word of god um in in a way
that will help you with wisdom and help
build that in your life so we encourage
everyone to do that i was going through
it today and it’s fabulous
that was a good book that you wrote yeah
you’re really good at that writing book
stuff
yeah i’ve done a few i hope god
continues to give me the grace
yeah i always think what in the world
can i write on next and then god gives
me something
yeah and we also want to encourage
everybody please subscribe to the
podcast yes
we hope that you’ll join us all the time
and um
you know i can ask joyce right now to
i don’t have to be the one encouraging
everybody to do this i
i know you said before if you’re looking
for a friend group if you want a place
to study this is a great place to do
it you know different people learn
different ways and
some of you may not need this you may
prefer to study on your own
but you know some people really love to
have
a group they like the girlfriend aspect
of different hearing different
viewpoints and so
i think it’s a great place to connect if
that’s the right thing
for you aren’t you glad that god
provides so many different ways for us
to
yeah to learn we all have different
different pathways
and i know i’ve heard a number of women
that just absolutely love this
and so i think it’s i think they’re
doing a good job and
they let me say something once in a
while anytime
it’s a good thing to do yeah well we
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check out some of those back episodes if
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we hope that you are gleaning so much
wisdom
from studying together and from what
god’s word tells you
we pray for you we love you and we’re so
grateful
that you were here with us we’ll see you
next time