In the third week of our series, Help I’m Hurting, we heard a powerful message from our very own Pastor Amberly Bell. Are you holding onto things you need to let go of? Today we learned that God can’t heal what you won’t reveal. If you feel like you are hoarding in your life, this message is for you. Check out this message and share it with someone in your life who needs to hear it!
well good morning good morning good
morning and welcome to transformation
church you guys today is the day that
the lord has made and i don’t know about
you but i am going to rejoice and be
glad in it
let me say that again today is the day
that the lord has made and i don’t know
about you but i’m gonna choose to
rejoice and be glad in it
if there is breath in your lungs if
there is fire in your soul if god
decided to wake you up this morning and
you have a roof over your head and close
on your back and breath in your very
lungs then i don’t know about you but
i’m gonna give glory to god this morning
we are so excited that you’ve decided to
join us this morning
this is going to be an incredible
service i just want to tell you right
now i’ve lost a lot of sleep okay
i’ve been fasting a lot so i’m working
on not a lot of food and not a lot of
sleep because god spoke this word so
heavy and so deep to me and told me that
you guys
not just you but can i be honest me
we have a culture of being humble open
and transparent so can i tell you that
even i need this word
that even i need the work that god’s
going to do this morning so i want to
introduce myself to you my name is
amberley
[Applause]
it’s great having friends in the
audience because they cheer you and clap
you on but listen right there on your
couch get to skip god some glory let’s
just give god the glory because he is
the one
he is the one that’s worthy to be
praised
honestly some of you may be asking who
is this girl where who’s the new girl
we’ve never seen her before i have the
honor and privilege of serving as one of
our executive pastors here at
transformation church and i love this
church
and i love this staff and you know who
else i love i love our lead pastors
let’s give it up right now for pastors
michael and natalie todd
they are they are away on sabbatical
getting refreshed and rejuvenated and
hearing the word from god and we just
want to tell them that we love them that
we’re praying for them that we believe
in them that we believe that all that
we’ve seen while it’s been crazy because
it’s only crazy till it happens that
this is truly the beginning of the best
days like our best days are truly ahead
of us and so pastors mike and natalie
and i we’ve done ministry now for over
a decade
wow like that’s 10 years that’s a lot of
years we’ve done ministry together in
some form or capacity and it’s been such
an honor and privilege to be on staff
now here at transformation church and to
be a part of this movement what a time
it is to be alive right so while they’re
getting refreshed we get to spring this
word to you and we are so honored and so
privileged to just have such amazing
amazing pastors
so listen i want to not only say thank
you to pastors mike and natalie todd
because honestly this takes a lot of
risk to put someone in your pulpit i
mean i could i could say something and
what are they really going to do
i mean they can be like oh god i mean
all the cameramen can start running and
all the things that are happening right
i everybody can start freaking out but
honestly the trust that it takes to put
someone in your space to trust that
they’re going to hear from god and to
speak that word so thank you thank you
pastor mike thank you pastor nat i love
you
and i have to give some honest thanks to
somebody else in the building today
there are founding pastors bishop
mcintosh and pastor debbie are in the
building
[Applause]
and honestly it was in may of 2008 so 13
years ago
that they recognized the call of god on
my life
and because they recognized it i’m
standing here today
and so while i give glory and honor to
god and while i thank our lead pastors i
would be remiss if i didn’t say thank
you to bishop mcintosh and pastor debbie
for believing in this little blonde girl
to come up and to preach a word
now listen i’m getting ready to tell
some really really good gossip about
myself are you ready
i just celebrated my 40th
birthday
[Applause]
y’all they say the 40’s the new 30. but
all i know is things are a little harder
to read things are a little harder to
understand and technology is a little
bit more complicated to operate
but 40 is the new 30 so here i am
i am married to the most amazing man of
god
[Applause]
[Music]
y’all listen i’ve said it once before
let me say it again don’t settle
don’t you dare settle on who god has
called you to marry because when you
wait for the one that god has appointed
for your future
it’s the most beautiful life now i’m not
saying there’s no hardship don’t get me
wrong we’ll talk about that in a minute
i’m not saying that the devil doesn’t
still come to come to steal kill and
destroy but when you’re married to the
right person when you’re in the right
unity when you’re yoked equally it makes
a difference and so
i am we we love each other we’re madly
in love with each other he’s amazing he
brings me coffee every morning at 5 28.
he props up my pillows he gives me my
bible he gives me my journal and he lets
me hear from god every single morning
and i am so grateful for him and
together we have created a beautiful
life and that’s that was a sweet way of
saying that yeah you know we did the
thing and we have the thing but anyways
um we have a daughter named mia and i’m
going to show you a picture of our
family mia is nine years old and she is
a fire
stick i don’t know who she gets it from
she’s sassy
she’s fierce she’s independent she wants
control she wants things to go a certain
way i really i think she gets it from
her father honestly
but literally we love and adore miabella
and not only am i a mom to that amazing
little girl but i get to be a stepmom to
our son jesse and to his wife samantha
and those three children are our
beautiful children that we love and we
are so grateful for so thankful for the
blessing of god in our lives
so that’s a little bit about my family
and you know it’s so funny because i
think about all the times that we think
about parenting we talk about parenting
right
and we can count all the things that we
do wrong as parents okay can i get
anyone in the chat being like it’s me
it’s me
i do a lot of things that i’m not proud
of when it comes to parenting like you
know you yell at your kids and you’re
like i shouldn’t have yelled or maybe
you you know i don’t know what you do
but i have had some parenting fails okay
but i want to take a moment if i may and
i want to just share with you a
parenting win if i can that i have this
week that gave me the energy to come
into this week okay so let me tell you
so my daughter had a friend stay the
night okay it’s one of our first summer
parties that we had and for those of you
who don’t know me on a personal level
like this i’m a little uh how do i say
this um
ocd i like things clean i like order i’m
an eight on the enneagram control
now i don’t want to control you but i
need to control my situation i need
everything to go a certain way we’ll
talk about that later too and so um i
keep everything very clean very tidy in
my house so much so that back in the day
that’s so sad that i have to say back in
the day back in the day i bought a
handheld vacuum cleaner and at every
stop light that i would stop at i would
turn around and vacuum the dust and the
debris out of the back of my car
okay i was that girl that when you would
turn at the stoplight i wasn’t picking
my nose but i was vacuuming my car out
who does that
well now in 2021 i don’t have to get the
vacuum cleaner and look like an idiot at
the stoplight i just bought a car wash
membership and i just go every single
day and i just vacuum out my car so i
can make sure that’s nice and clean okay
so pick up this little girl we take her
home with us to spend the night with us
and she gets in the car
and do y’all want to know what that
little girl said
she said to me about oh i heard i heard
moms hear all things and she said wow
this is the cleanest mom car i’ve ever
been in i said yeah you better believe
it’s the cleanest mom car you’ve ever
been in because it’s my car i keep my
car clean so parenting went now in this
same
in the same car ride i had another
parenting win listen y’all
there’s a lot of fails in parenting so
when you get some wins you got to take
them when they come right so in the same
token we’re pulling down the road and
this child pulls out and i say child he
was honestly 23 years old but it felt
like a child he pulled out on his bike
and pulled out in front of me and i
slammed on my brakes to keep from
hitting him right and when i did my
default thank god is not to cuss now i
know there’s a lot of us out there for
being humble open and transparent that
our default is to just cuss i didn’t
cuss i just went straight to tongues now
if you don’t know what that is you need
to go back and watch the series the
upgrade but i was just i mean instead of
hit that break and i started praying in
tongues and my daughter turns to this
little girl and she says oh don’t worry
anytime my mom’s getting ready to hit
something she always prays in tongues
i was like first of all i don’t hit that
many things and then i hear her say you
know what actually she prays in tongues
all the time don’t worry about it yeah
and i thought you know what for all the
things that i may not be doing right
there’s a few things that i might be
doing well okay
so i just want to encourage you parents
that are tuned in and watching you got
this
god already put inside of you everything
that you need to be the most amazing
mother the most amazing father maybe
some of you are being the grandma the
grandpa the auntie or the uncle right
now god knows exactly what you need and
he’s given you everything that you need
in this season so rest in that don’t
look around don’t don’t compare yourself
to other parents you be authentically
you and you raise that baby those
children the way that god has called you
to do it
so listen if you’re with me today we are
in a series called help
i’m hurting
and it’s week three wow and if you are
taking notes
the topic of today’s message is help
i’m hoarding
now let me give you a very basic
definition of you will of what hoarding
is
it’s just the inability to get rid of
stuff
now we’ve all seen that um show on h on
ae and tv the show hoarders it’s a
reality tv show that tells the stories
of these compulsive hoarders and their
family or friends that are attempting to
just do everything that they can in
their power to get them free from
hoarding
and it’s so easy
to watch those shows and say oh that is
so gross i could never live like that
how do they live like that
it would be so easy to judge and to say
how how would they be willing to let go
of their family for all this stuff they
would really be willing to give up their
kids and to lose their house for all
this stuff and it’s so easy for us to
sit in that space and to say i would no
that’s not me i couldn’t do that and
listen if you’re a hoarder and you’re
actually watching this message today
there’s no shame there’s freedom and
healing for you today too
but i want to do something a little
deeper today i want to talk about not
the things
not the things that you accumulate but i
want to talk about what about the things
inside of your heart
and your mind
those things
now listen you may be saying now pastor
everybody listen i’m a collector i’m a
collector but let me tell you something
collectors show off their stuff
hoarders hide
their stuff
and we learned last week that help i’m
hiding but you may be thinking well i’m
here to just show i’m just here to show
off what god’s doing i’m just here to
show off that i’m not going to be
treated that way because they did this
to me and i’m not about to let them
treat me that way so i’m going to show
the world that i can’t be taken
advantage of like that but what if i
told you that we are no different than
those people on that show
what if i told you we just don’t have
the a e people walking around with the
cameras and the hazmat crew ready to
clean out all of our junk when you see
all of this stuff
it’s easy to say that’s not my problem
but what’s locked inside your mind
and what’s locked inside your heart
let me let me back up here for a second
the thing about hoarding let me just
make some space here
the thing about hoarding is this
it starts slow
you don’t just wake up one morning and
all of this stuff has just showed up in
your house
it starts small it’s subtle
it’s kind of like the same thing as
drifting remember our word of the year
this year is anchored
we’re getting anchored in 2021 right
and you don’t just all of a sudden wake
up and one day you’re in the middle of
the ocean lacking an anchor that’s not
how that happens it’s a slow drift that
slowly you get off course slowly you get
away from what god has called you to do
slowly you move in a direction that you
know you’re not supposed to be moving in
and then all of a sudden you’re in the
deep and you realize i wasn’t prepared
to be in the deep
and it’s the same way you don’t we don’t
look inside your mind in your heart and
see all of this stuff it starts slowly
somebody hurts you as a young child and
you pick up something
then you go into eighth and ninth grade
and you’re that awkward age where people
are making fun of you and they’re
talking about you and your teeth aren’t
straight and you don’t have the right
brand of clothes and then you just kind
of pick that up small things along the
way
but then you get into high school and
you don’t become the prom queen you’re
not the homecoming queen you’re not what
you thought you would be and yet
everyone thinks that you’re just the
geeky person in high school then you go
to college not to really make much of a
name for yourself in college and you
just pick up little things
along
the way
until one day
you take and look back
and here it all is
it starts slow
in fact doesn’t the bible say in song of
songs
that it’s the little fox that spoils the
vine
pastor reed told us in the start of this
series that everybody is hurting
and it’s okay
and i’m here to tell you
we either all have hoarded
are hoarding or we will hoard
so if you’re taking notes i want you to
write down this point
point number one
fear
forces us to hold on
let me say that again for you
fear forces us to hold on
think about it when you go to six flags
or you go to an amusement park ride and
you get on the roller coaster and that
thing reaches the very very top and it’s
ready to come all the way down now
unless you’re certified crazy you’re you
know you’re the ones with your hands
raised up okay but for the rest of us
normal folks the rest of us that are
trying not to pee our pants we are
holding on for dear life because we are
terrified that at any moment if that
roller coaster goes off track we are
done for it
and i don’t know about you what kind of
home you grew up in but in the home i
grew up in i could be in the car next to
my mom driving and if she thought she
was getting ready to have a wreck unlike
mission praying tongues she just slammed
that hand across the passenger seat and
i’ll never forget the time that i caught
my mom doing that when i was in the back
seat there was no one even in the front
seat to protect but that fear of i gotta
protect my baby she threw that hand out
because fear
forces us to hold on
i mean i don’t know about you but how
many of you have been to a haunted house
as a grown
adult
and you will grab on to the youngest
child when that thing jumps out at you
with a spider to crawl down your back
you will not even think twice about
putting a seven-year-old in front of you
to shield you from the terrors of night
you don’t care what it is you are
holding on because you are
terrified
we hoard because we’re scared
we hold on because we’re scared
sometimes when we are afraid to hold on
fear is just a natural response
honestly there’s nothing wrong with
holding on i mean you’re kind of crazy
if you’re the one on the roller coaster
not holding on
you’re kind of crazy if you’re not the
one that’s not afraid in those types of
situations it’s okay it’s just that what
are you holding on to
that’s what you have to evaluate now
listen i want to read a passage of
scripture to you and i want to read it
this morning specifically out of the
message translation because i just feel
like it’s so
powerful so you have your bibles will
you do me a favor and will you turn with
me to matthew 25.
matthew chapter 25
while you’re turning there i just want
to say
ccnation we love you
we love that you tune in and you watch
every week and you share and you comment
thank you for blowing up the chat this
morning even we are honored and grateful
that people from all over the world are
joining us
so matthew 25 verses 14 is where i’m
gonna start okay
okay it says this
it’s also like a man going off on an
extended trip
he called his servants together and he
delegated responsibilities
to one he gave five thousand dollars
to another two thousand
to a third one thousand depending on
their abilities
then he left
right off the first servant went to work
and doubled his master’s investment
the second one did the exact same thing
but the man with the single thousand dug
a hole and carefully buried his master’s
money
after a long absence the master of those
three servants came back and settled up
with them
the one given five thousand dollars
showed him how he doubled his investment
his master commended him saying good
work you did your job well from now on
you be my partner
the servant with the 2000 showed how he
had also doubled his master’s investment
his master commended him good work
you did your job well from now on you
can be my partner
the servant given one thousand said
master i know you have high standards
and you hate careless ways that you
demand the best and you make no
allowances for error
i was afraid
and hid it
here it is safe and sound down to the
very last cent the master was furious
that is a terrible way to live it is
criminal to live cautiously like that if
you knew i was after the best why did
you do less than the least
the least you could have done is taken
it to the bank and invested that some
with the bankers where i would have at
least gotten a little bit of interest
take the thousand and give it to the one
who risked the most
it says the third man hoarded the 1000
that he was given or in other
translations you may read it as one
talent equivalating to maybe a thousand
dollars in current day time
but hoarded the one and here’s the thing
the bible doesn’t tell us for how long
did he hoard the one talent
how i mean for any of you who have any
money savvy at all savviness you know
that money if you put it in a bank it
can accrue interest and over time that
you could potentially live off of that
money so what did he miss out by keeping
that one hidden
and the bible’s so clear it says he was
afraid and hid it
so i think the problem with hoarding is
this we hoard because we think what if i
need that stuff again
you get scared because what happens if
you get rid of it and you end up needing
it later
okay i’m gonna get in your business
right now there are so many of you
me included
that you have a closet full of quote
unquote skinny clothes
oh you know
you know you turned that person next to
you on the couch you’re like yeah that’s
me i got skinny clothes you’ve got these
skinny clothes that you’re hoarding
because you’re afraid if i were to ever
get back down to that size i may not
have clothes away and i really liked the
way i looked in that jacket so i’m going
to keep it just in case i ever get to be
skinny again
now the problem with that is by the time
you got skinny okay let me say me by the
time i got skinny again those clothes
aren’t even going to be in style anyways
and yet that’s how ridiculous we look we
hold on all of this stuff that by the
time it really came to fruition it would
look ridiculous on us
and i realized when i found out that i
was going to be preaching on help i’m
hoarding i thought to myself you have
picked the wrong person
i mean i i vacuum my car
at stoplights i am committed to
cleanliness cleanliness is next to
godliness
okay
you have picked the wrong person
and i remember thinking like there’s no
way i could live like this
this is disgusting
and god was like uh check yourself
check your own hearts check your own
motives amberly
and so i’m here to confess something to
you
my daughter is nine years old
she is an absolute joy to our lives
and after having mia we tried to have
more children after her
only to bury three babies after mia
and i thought by holding on to all of
her baby bottles
and all of her baby clothes
and all of her baby bibs
and all of her formula containers
and all of her toys
that i could that i could somehow make
myself have another baby again because
if i i can’t get rid of it because what
if
what if i were to have another baby
i would want that stuff i wouldn’t want
to have to go and buy that stuff again
and i realized in preparing for this
message that it was time to let that
stuff go
and so i would love to tell you that i
came to this realization years ago but
honestly
three months ago
three months ago is when i got rid of
all of mia’s baby stuff because i
decided god
you supply everything if we need more
baby bottles god you’re gonna supply the
baby bottles god if we need more formula
containers you’ll supply more formula
containers
people horde out of fear i think even
people hoard money out of fear
they know god’s asking them to be
generous and to bless but that fear of
like what happens if i really need that
money i really need my paycheck to get
me through and so out of fear they hoard
it
we hoard and we hold on to our emotions
because we think that our friends and
our family wouldn’t be able to handle if
we told them how we really felt
even you yourself
you hoard yourself from you because
you’re not even really sure if you could
handle who you really are
truthfully you hoard out of fear and at
the very core of that fear is a lack of
trust
in god
for some of you the thought of trusting
god is a real battle you struggle
trusting that god’s provision will be
enough that it will come when you need
it and it will actually be what you need
when you need it but can i tell you
something he’s the one whose thoughts
are higher than our thoughts he’s the
one who says my ways are higher than
your ways he’s the one that says i have
a plan to prosper and not to harm you to
give you a hope and a future that i am
the lord god your healer that i can make
the crooked path straight
he is the one who supplies all of your
needs according to his riches and glory
in christ jesus
but what about the things that we hoard
that aren’t tangible
what about the things that i mentioned
that are the at the heart and the mind
and the core of who you are
no i i’m specifically talking about um
control
let’s talk about control for a second
praise god
no one can stand to be around you type
of control
because if plans don’t go a and b kind
of way then you can see yourself later
that type of control
you know the type of control that um
when you were a child
you saw
your mom act a fool when things didn’t
go her way
you watched her lose her ever-loving
mind
and you made an inner vow saying i will
never allow myself to act like her and
all you’ve really done is horde control
because as long as you can control your
emotions everything is fine because if
you allowed yourself to really feel then
what would happen
you’re actually scared that someone who
looks and sounds like your mama might
come out so you hoard control tight you
won’t let it go
now what about how you hoard your past
you wouldn’t dare tell anyone
what you’ve actually done
i mean you don’t really want everyone
knowing what you did when you’re in
college right
you wouldn’t want your spouse to really
know you know when you exchanged the
number of how many people you slept with
and you didn’t really tell the truth
about that number
you wouldn’t want to actually tell that
number would you
you wouldn’t want to actually tell your
children that they have siblings in
heaven because in your freshman year of
college you chose to abort a baby
so instead of talking about it you just
hoard it if i can just keep it a little
closer then no one will know and it’s
it’s fine everything’s it’s fine
everything’s fine i’m good
it’s the non-tangible items i’m not
talking about the stuff that fills up
your house i’m talking about the stuff
that fills up your heart
that kind of stuff
or what about your desires and your
purpose
what about those
you know
the kind of things that um
if you really told anyone what you felt
like god had called you to do
they might disown you
if you actually admitted to your dad you
don’t want to run the family business
and that you actually feel called to be
a teacher
but all you’ve heard your whole life is
your dad saying they don’t make any
money boy you don’t want to be a teacher
and all you hear your mom say is baby
it’s so dangerous in those schools these
days you probably shouldn’t be teaching
so what if instead of moving into
purpose you just hoard it
never truly becoming who you know god
has called you to become and never fully
reaching your god-given potential
these are the things i’m talking about
not tangible the things that nobody can
see you and god and that’s it
what about um childhood trauma
yeah it gets real quiet it’s real quiet
today real real quiet
let me just
let me just
get my childhood trauma here
okay
okay yeah i’ve it’s good i’m no i’m fine
i’ve got it
it’s the childhood trauma of
yeah i was molested as a little girl
yeah i was taken advantage of
maybe you’re the one who had a cousin
who crept in the room in the middle of
the night to fondle you
but let me be clear i’m not just talking
about the obvious trauma
i’m not talking about the ones that we
classically defined by a dictionary as
childhood trauma child abuse molestation
rejection
but i’m talking about what if your whole
life
all your mom ever did was right in a
birthday card i’m proud of you mom
and you actually never heard her echo
not even a whisper
of i’m proud of you
and so to this day you don’t really know
if anyone’s even proud of you
because you never actually heard the
words come out of your mother or your
father or your dad or your coach or
whomever’s mouth saying i’m
proud of you
you just read it
or what about if you had that really
present father who attended every
sporting event he was at every game but
dear god at every single game he made
you look like a fool the way he yelled
and while he was there oh he was present
but while he was there the way he was
yelling you to get behind that base and
to hit that ball and the way he was
yelling at the coaches no he’s yelling
at the refs and it made you wonder do i
measure up
am i good enough
am i worthy
enough so fear
forces us to hold on
tight
tight
and it’s it’s the obvious it’s the
obvious response but it’s not the right
thing to hold on to
you’re holding on to the wrong thing
now listen
second thing if you’re taking notes is
this
hoarding hinders obedience
let me just say it very plainly
hoarding hinders obedience
now listen let me show you visually what
i mean because maybe it’ll help some of
you kind of understand what
i’m okay hold on just
okay yeah
yeah okay so
here i am
and god where is god god where are you
there he is
and i know that god is calling me to
something
i know that god has a call on my life he
has plans and he has purposes for me and
he’s calling me to come
there’s an opportunity knocking at the
door and he’s saying just come to me all
you who are weary and heavy burden he’s
saying come to me and i will give you
the rest and the joy and the
satisfaction that you need and instead
you’re like
okay
just get god just
yeah oh yeah
god um
i’m coming
just i’m coming the problem is is this
there’s some stuff in the way
and
i’m so i’m so i really i really want i
it sounds like i could do this i i hear
your voice it’s not that i can’t hear
your voice it’s just that i can’t get to
you because all of this stuff is in the
way
and so instead of moving it and removing
it which is clearly the obvious thing to
do instead i’ll say let me just be a
traveling hoarder god just hold on one
second god just let me
let me just hold on i just
god just hold on one second i
need to get my
desires
and
i’m just not
i’m not really sh yeah okay i’ll be
there in just a minute i just i i don’t
think i can go without all this stuff
because it’s all i’ve ever known
[Music]
[Applause]
and so instead of the show hoarders
maybe it’s hoarders on the go because i
can’t i can’t get to you without
bringing all of this with me
and the beautiful thing about this is he
wants you
he wants you to bring all of it with you
he wants you to let go of your
bitterness and your insecurity and the
thing is the reason we have to deal with
our hurt and our hoarding is because
hoarding helps the enemy but it hinders
god
oh the enemy’s satisfied right now he’s
completely and totally satisfied i can’t
get to where i need to be i can’t get to
my full potential he’s 100 satisfied the
enemy comes to steal kill and destroy
and by god he’ll kill steal and destroy
everything in me but god comes to give
us life and life in abundance
[Music]
[Applause]
so the enemy keeps us alone and isolated
feeling too overwhelmed to fix it and
honestly
too embarrassed to even ask for help
it’s hindering god from taking us where
we want to be
if you’re hoarding you’ll live the
majority of your life alone and isolated
because you don’t want people to see the
truth about your life but you can’t heal
from what you won’t reveal and you
need community
we help the enemy because he knows the
word says in ecclesiastes 4 2 are better
than one if either one of them falls
down one can help the other up
now listen think about this for just a
second what if
what if the one servant
who was so afraid and went and hid his
one talent
actually went to the other two and said
i don’t know what i’m doing
i’ve never done this before
i’ve never been in a place to have to
take a risk to turn my investment into
something else would you come and help
me
what if he hadn’t stayed alone and
scared and reached out to the other two
and said i’ve never been down this road
before but i know you have and if god
can do it for you certainly he can do it
for me
but instead this is what we do we put
ourselves in a corner
we put ourselves in the corner
and we sit by ourselves isolated
alone
but this
this is why
you have to be hot
humble
open and transparent
you need friends
who will come alongside you
who will come and they will see
because you think see here’s the thing
about hoarding you think no one really
can see all this
but honestly they can
they know something’s not right about
you and you need friends who will come
alongside you when you can’t do it on
your own
when you can’t survive on your own
community that will come alongside you
and you can say but i i this is not this
is not the one that i want i can’t i
can’t bree
i can’t
i can’t
but if you
are all alone
and all by yourself
and leave yourself to your own emotions
and your own thoughts
god can’t heal what you won’t reveal
hoarding
hinders
god but helps the enemy
listen i want to tell you just
a real life story because i feel like
sometimes it’s really easy to think that
people who who preach and teach have it
all together and i’ve loved all of the
marketing that we’ve done for this
series because it makes us look like
we’re all put together
but we’re all we all got stuff okay we
all got issues
and um i’ll never forget that um when
pastor bree called and offered me this
job here at transformation church she
and i’ve been dear friends for years and
so i
it was an easy phone call
but as most of you have heard before i
spent a great deal of time prior to
coming on churches on staff here at the
church doing real estate
and while i was rising to the top and i
was making a lot of money and i was very
successful
and i thought i was doing and in a in a
way it was ministry and it still is
ministry i’m able to help people make a
really big financial decision in their
lives
but what i didn’t realize it was doing
was it was teaching me how to harden my
heart
i thought on the outside it was success
i mean i had the power suits
i had i had all i had the car i had the
money had all the things had the trips
had the vacations
but but what i didn’t realize was my
heart was becoming hard
so when pastor brie called and asked me
if i wanted to take this job and just
what this job would entail there was a
part of me that was like
i
wha what are you not telling me because
see in real estate deals can be on and
deals can be off things can go well
things can go bad and it happens in the
in this drop of a hat you can think that
you’re going to the closing table and
getting a make bank only to find out you
ain’t going nowhere but to the bank to
put money in your overdrawn account
i mean that’s real
and so i had learned to hold all of my
transactions at arm’s length
because if you decided you didn’t want
to use me as your realtor if you decided
you didn’t want to buy that house if you
decided that this wasn’t the buyer’s
remorse then if i had held you at arm’s
length then it didn’t hurt when you let
me go
and so i learned to hold everything at
arm’s length so much so that when pastor
bree called i treated it as a business
transaction
not as the call of god on my life not as
the purpose and the potential and the
and the thing that i’ve been believing
and praying to happen in my life for the
last 20 years
instead i said um
because what if you change your mind
what if you decide i’m not the one that
you want for the job if i keep you here
then it doesn’t hurt as bad the problem
is i was hoarding my own true feelings
and my own emotions
and i’ll never forget i went to dinner
with my husband
and
he’s so good
he’s so fine too anyways um
oh he’s so handsome he’s been growing a
beard and oh so it’s i love it anyways
um
he uh
he said to me he’s like so babe what are
you thinking about this job
i said babe i i don’t know i just you
know what if they you know change their
mind what if they decide i’m not the one
what if i’m not good enough what if i’m
not you know what if what if what if
what if what if
and he said
what have you been doing and i said
honestly honey i’ve been kind of holding
it at arm’s length because if they
change their mind and and i decide to
they decide to say no then it’s like
cool just water off the ducks back
and he’s like but how do you actually
really feel
oh
i mean that’s what i’m saying like if
they decide i’m cool i’m not the one
he’s like no babe
how do you actually really feel about
this
and i said to him i said i feel called
to this more than i’ve ever felt called
to anything in my entire life i know
this is what god has called me to i know
this is the plan and the purpose he has
for my life and he said i think you
should say that out loud
and i was like no because i feel like if
i tell pastor mike investor breathe and
it’s like what if they change my he’s
like no i think i think it’s okay to say
how you really feel out loud
so i kid you not i literally
that night sent the text to pastor mike
and i said hey
been realizing i’ve been treating this
as a business deal bree was in on the
text i mean holding it at arm’s length
and i just want to say as awkward as
this is for me to admit i want this
because i know this is what god wants
and literally within two seconds pastor
mike had texted back and he’s like come
back tomorrow and sign your offer letter
it was once i revealed my true emotions
that god was actually able to move
but hoarding if you’re not careful
can hinder obedience
now listen the third thing i want you to
know is this
to stop hoarding you have to forget what
if
and focus on what is
let me say that again to stop hoarding
you have to forget what if
and focus on what is
now let me tell you something elsa how
many of you have seen frozen
because i’m about to come for elsa’s
back okay
elsa tried to teach us this beautiful
little song let it go
let it go
and then that’s what we say when things
bother us i’m just gonna let it go
let it go and her just her dress just
flaps in the wind elsa just says let it
go
and it’s interesting because the last
sentence of that song says the cold
never bother me anyways
and the music just goes
but guess what elsa played us
she has lied to us
she made all of us think that you could
just let it go and then nothing would
bother you and you know come on you know
the truth bothered or the cold actually
bothered elsa really hell said the cold
never bothered you let me ask you
questions have you ever stepped out in
the cold and it not bothered you
you know the cold bothered you
but but in her attempt to control the
situation around her she ended up alone
and isolated from everyone she knew
because the truth is the cold does
bother us
you can sing let it go all you want you
tell yourself just push it down push
push push those feelings down just push
it down but the reality is it did hurt
it does hurt
it did hurt when he promised you forever
and he walked out on you and left you
with those kids
it did hurt
when they committed to being your
business partner
and instead of being a business partner
they took everything that you had and
then ruined your name to all of the
other business partners and to all of
your families and all of your friends
where now you have no business no family
and no friends it did hurt
the reality is that it did hurt when you
trusted and you confided in that church
leader and they went around and gossiped
about you and talked about you in a way
that you know wasn’t the truth
the fact of the matter is it did hurt
when they picked someone who wasn’t
nearly as qualified as you or as
reliable as you didn’t show up on time
like you do for the promotion it did
hurt
and i just want to say this to you
if no one in your life has ever
validated this
we see
and we know it hurt
and the cold
it does bother you
and in case no one’s ever validated or
acknowledged that there’s parts of your
personality that you just won’t give up
because of all this stuff inside of you
or maybe there’s a love that you just
can’t quite extend to your spouse and
your children i want you to say i see it
i see you’re hurt
i see you’re hoarding and killing what
else i want to say to you i’m sorry
because here’s the real reality no one
ever bothered to ask you why
why are you hoarding why do you get so
angry when those types of things happen
why do you let yourself act like that in
these situations
why do you turn off your brain in your
heart when you’re in a situation like
this why can’t you let yourself really
love no one has asked you why instead
they’ve just talked about you behind
your back
no one’s ever given you the time to say
why i see the anger i see the
frustration i see the pain i see the
hurt but why
and i just want to say to you today i’m
so sorry
i am so sorry
because your feelings do matter those
things do those those frustrations those
feelings those situations those
circumstances they matter and you matter
people have seen the way that you act
but if you’ve never taken the time to
ask why
why is that
and i just this morning i want to
acknowledge it
and even though everyone thought that
you were crazy they all thought you were
crazy i’m here to say you’re not
i’m here to tell you that i know it
hurts
i know it’s painful
but i’m gonna ask all of us to do
something this morning
something a little uncomfortable
something that may feel a little foreign
something that may feel a little off
from what you’re used to but i’m gonna
ask you to take
a risk
turn to the person sitting next to you
or the person on the couch or in your
car even if there’s nobody next you just
say i’m gonna take a risk today
and i know what you’re thinking pastor
you’re saying pastor really listen
i uh i don’t i don’t know about this
whole risk thing i don’t know if i can
do this whole risk thing
what if tomorrow morning i wake up and i
still feel the same way what if i give
all of this energy and nothing changes i
just want to beg you take
the risk
the way to stop hoarding is to take a
risk
and let me tell you this a risk involves
uncertainty about the effects or the
implications
in watching the show hoarders i watch
time and time again these people
struggling with hoarding and struggling
to let someone clean it out because the
risk was how would they feel afterwards
would it actually work would their kids
actually come back home would their
marriage actually be restored would they
actually get to keep their house would
they be able to function and go back to
normal life again
and it’s funny because at a young age
the first thing that we’re taught one of
the first principles we’re taught as
children and that we as parents teach
our children is to share and i believe
the opposite of hoarding is sharing
it’s the first principle that we teach i
mean you teach your kids to share their
crayons to share their toys to not be a
jerk to play with little tommy all it’s
one of the first things that you teach
them
and yet somewhere along the way someone
has taken advantage of that
you’ve been misunderstood you’ve been
abused you’ve been talked about and now
instead of sharing the good the bad the
indifferent or whatever the case may be
you don’t even feel that you could take
a risk because of what the outcome could
or could not be
but today i’m asking you
be willing to take the risk
it’s interesting because when you read
about the children of israel in exodus
chapter 16
they’re in the desert and they’re
complaining about not having food to eat
and so god says i’ll take care of them
okay i’ll take care of what they need
and so he provides quail in them in the
night and bread manna in the morning and
every morning when they woke up they
looked out and they saw the camp covered
with what looked like dew but it was
actually man it was bred to supply their
daily needs
and the interesting thing about the
bible is it says that he sustained them
in this manner for 40 years
and yet still
every single day they got up and walked
out and had to take a risk would the
mana actually be there would god
actually do what he said he would do
would he actually provide in the way
that he said he would provide
and the interesting thing about that
manna is even in the midst of the 40
years of god every day showing up and
doing exactly what he said he would do
they still hoarded it
god said take only what you need every
single day and on the days that they
tried to take more it rotted and it
spoiled and it stunk and it was of no
value but interestingly enough on the
sixth day he says go ahead and take
enough for your sabbath and that portion
didn’t spoil it didn’t rot it didn’t
stink
and so when you take the risk
when you take the risk
you tap in
to a measure of god
that you wouldn’t know otherwise
a measure you wouldn’t know if you
didn’t take it anyways now let me tell
you what i see when i mean risk i want
to spell this out for you
it’s an acronym
the first letter is r
and it’s release
you have to release your control
god can’t heal as long as you’re the one
that’s in control if i’m the one
steering this ship
let me show you something here
if i am the one
in the deep holding all this stuff
what happens is
there’s an anchor that i clearly need to
drop
but because i can’t release
my control
and i can’t i need to drop the anchor
because i’m drifting and things are out
of control and i need to but i can’t
because i’ve not released all of the
control that i’m holding onto
and so when you release it to god
then it allows you to drop the anchor
the iron risk is to identify hurt go
back and answer the question why
did i start hoarding
where did this come from
why do i feel this way you see
self-awareness is being aware of you
and that is where true growth and
freedom actually take place
you have to be aware of what you do why
you do what you do when you do and how
you do it and the truth is what sets
people free
why is it ask yourself go all the way
back to your childhood pastor bray dear
god every time we have a meeting with
her she’s always saying hey really what
in your childhood is causing this in you
nothing in my childhood is causing this
and me
but the reality is everything in my
childhood is causing me to act this way
because when you show up the little kid
version of you shows up everywhere you
go and whether you had a good childhood
or a bad childhood you were entitled or
you had nothing it all shows up with you
you have to identify that hurt
the s in risk is you have to surrender
the pain
admitting that you can’t do this and you
need god’s help
you’re tired you’ve worn out you’re
overwhelmed and you’re surrendering
saying god take this
i can’t do this i’m done hoarding i’m
done holding onto things that i was
never designed to carry
because you see when you’re walking
brenton come back up here for a second
the difference between brentham and i
well there’s a lot of differences
honestly
but um
we will won’t go there today
but uh
the difference between god and i
is a
i wasn’t built
to carry this
i i mean i
this is absurd that i would try to walk
through life carrying all of this
i’m not des i wasn’t equipped i wasn’t
formed i wasn’t fashioned in my mother’s
womb to carry this kind of stuff
and as i go through life and i keep
trying to just
pick up things
oh come on childhood trauma i need you
and this next season that i’m going into
the reality is god
he can
look at the difference and when i try to
hold all this
and god takes it
i was never designed to carry it
he was
we have to surrender
the pain
and the k
in risk
thank you
is that we have to know the promise
and you say know the promise what does
that mean pastor let me tell you what
that means
it means there are promises found all
throughout scripture that tell you how
good your god is that tells you how god
will take care of you promises such as
that you can cast all of your cares upon
him because he cares for you the promise
that you’re forgetting the former things
that you’re not dwelling on the past
because he is doing a new thing the
promise that if god is for before me who
then can be against me the promise that
everything in comparison to the lord is
meaningless it’s rubbish the apostle
paul says the promise that i can
overcome the enemy by the blood of the
lamb and by the word of my testimony
the promise that if i store up treasures
in heaven instead of of earth that
mosque and rust can’t destroy them and
that no one can steal them from me
the promise that even though i walk
through the valley of the shadow of
death i don’t have to fear evil
because he is with me and surely
surely
goodness and mercy will follow me all
the days of my lives
those are the promises that we cling to
not to the past not to the hurt not to
the fear but to the promises and here’s
why we have to take the risk
god always restores to you more than you
lose and he resupplies much more than
you give away
let me say that again the reason why you
have to take the risk is that god always
restores to you more than you lose and
he resupplies to you so much more than
you give away because you see in the
kingdom of god it’s opposite it’s
opposite of everything that you know you
have to die in order to live it’s the
paradox of purpose
it’s that you have to give in order to
have more that you have to believe you
have to have the faith he always
restores and so instead of hoarding
instead of being afraid and bearing
those emotions and those feelings and
those past and even your finances
you have to be willing to say god i know
that the kingdom of man is opposite than
the kingdom of god and that in the
kingdom of god there’s nothing but light
and everything that’s in the dark will
have to be brought to the light
and that he restores to you more than
you lose and resupplies much more than
you could ever
give away
you know the interesting thing as i’m
just closing out here
is that in all of my studying of orders
it was an interesting journey that i
went on
i learned something very powerful
that recurrence is a hundred percent
without proper therapy
let me say that
again recurrence is a hundred percent
without proper
therapy
you see they come in and they clean out
these people’s house and they make them
throw away all of these old
boxes of pizza and collectibles and
items and dead animals and this and that
and at the end of the day they walk back
in the camera crew walks back in and
it’s clean and it’s empty and it’s
beautiful and the children come home and
the husband returns and the house is no
longer foreclosed on and it’s a
beautiful scene but the problem is
there was no proper therapy
sure a therapist showed up on the scene
one time you went to counseling one time
okay maybe you went three
but the problem is is that reoccurrence
your hoarding issue will continue a
hundred times over and over and over
again without proper therapy and what is
that proper therapy
it’s it’s realizing it’s recognizing
that you have to let go of control
it’s understanding you have to identify
that hurt you have to surrender the pain
and you have to know the promises of god
you have to know what he’s called you to
you have to know what he’s called you to
carry and what he’s not called you to
carry you know there are some burdens
that some of you are carrying right now
by the power of the holy spirit that you
were not designed to carry but because
you’re the one in that situation and
you’re the adult in that situation
you’ve you’ve said i have to carry this
you aren’t designed baby to carry that
and you have to let that thing go
in the name of jesus you let it go and
you don’t try to tell everybody the call
never yeah it’s okay to admit the call
bothers you that’s why we have
therapists that’s why we have community
that’s why we have a church that’s why
we need each other
because what we’re going through is too
hefty we need each other
so today i want to make it really really
clear to you
that as christians we’ve all got stuff
none of us is any different than the
other there are issues in each one of
our lives as long as we’re living to
bring glory and honor to god he is going
to continually convict our hearts of
things that we need to address and
things that we need to change
and the thing about sin and the way it
works is it never starts big
it’s not one day you just wake up and
kill somebody
it starts little
it’s little sin
and so i don’t know where you are today
i don’t know
what those sins look like in your life
i don’t know if they’re little right now
if they’re medium size if they’re big
size i i don’t know what you did last
night only you and the holy spirit knows
that but here’s what i do know it
doesn’t matter
today
is a day of freedom
i feel this so strongly
that to everyone who’s under the sound
of my voice which is only the sound and
the voice of the holy ghost
that there is freedom today for you
there are things that you have held onto
for years
it’s real
it’s
real
but god
wants to heal you today
he wants to restore to you everything
that the locusts have eaten
and destroyed
and if you’re watching and you’re like i
am so lost that’s really i don’t even
know where to begin
can i just tell you he loves you
he’s been chasing wildly after you every
day from the moment you entered this
earth
and he wants to clean all this out
he’s the one who’s designed to carry all
of those problems and all of those
issues
he’s the one and he wants to do that for
you this morning
and so this morning if you say i’ve i’ve
never
in my life made the decision to really
truly make jesus the lord of my life i
want to explain that to you for just a
second
when we talk about making jesus the lord
of our lives the best way that i can
think about that is a landlord
many of you either have rented or are
currently renting and you know when
something goes wrong you call your
landlord you don’t try to fix the sink
the garbage disposal you don’t try to
fix the when the when there’s roaches
crawling in the apartment you call the
landlord and he fixes everything
and when i was little i used to think
that making jesus the lord of my life
meant that he had control and he had say
and whatever he says is what went and i
really truly believe that that’s what
that was and what i’ve learned in my
time of walking with jesus
is that it’s not that he’s lording over
me it’s not that he’s do it this way
amber earlier you won’t have this or you
can’t get this it’s not that it’s just
that he’s saying i’m here
when things aren’t right
when it when the sink doesn’t operate
right
when the toilet won’t flush
i’m just just i call me i’m here
he’s not here to to demean you or to
belittle you or to grade you or to cause
you to walk in shame the book of romans
says there is no condemnation for those
who are in christ jesus and i believe
today there are going to be hundreds of
people
who make the decision to make jesus
christ the lord of their life because
you two were like me you used to think
that that meant that he was going to be
holding you down with the sum on you
telling you how to do it this way and if
you didn’t do it this way then you
couldn’t become anything that’s not who
god is
now he has plans and purposes for you
but he lets you make that choice
yourself
so this morning you’re a group of people
that i want to pray for
and the other group of people that i
want to pray for this morning is the
people that the moment that uh that
opening scene came on and we said help
i’m hoarding you immediately were like
that is that’s not me that’s not me
but through this message the holy spirit
has made you realize
yeah that’s that’s actually really me
and maybe it wasn’t the issues that we
talked about maybe it wasn’t control
maybe it wasn’t past maybe it wasn’t
your desires or your purpose maybe it’s
truly something else maybe it’s not
maybe you didn’t have childhood trauma
like i did maybe that’s the case
but god desires to get all of it out
all of it
to make you free because where you’re
going
this
can’t go with you
there’s not room for you and it
there’s only room for you and him and
not all of this
so today i’m begging you
will you take a risk
risk that there’s not a sure outcome of
what it looks like the difference
between a risk and investing your money
and a risk at the casinos
is that in this risk when you bet on god
when you put your risk on him he has to
do what he says he will do the bible
says that he is the son of god he is not
a man that he can lie
there is no lying in his vocabulary he’s
the author and the finisher of our faith
the beginning and the end alpha and
omega jehovah jireh jehovah shalom he is
your provider
and so today i want to pray for you
wherever you are wherever you whatever
situation you find yourself sitting in
will you just put your own hands across
your heart wherever you are all over the
world
god i just thank you that you are making
us aware of ourselves right now in this
moment
god i thank you that you’re bringing up
right now by the power of the holy
spirit things that maybe we’ve never
even thought of things that we just saw
it was just normal to walk through life
with that issues that we thought it was
just that’s just the way it’s supposed
to be god i thank you that right now
you’re making us aware of those
situations
and that god today we’re willing to take
a risk because it’s not a risk that we
have to wonder what the outcome will be
but that it’s a risk that’s guaranteed
that’s signed sealed and delivered by
the holy ghost himself
and so god i thank you that people all
over the world this morning
are taking a risk
as scary
as unsure
as uncertain as it may be god they’re
taking
a risk
if that’s you this morning will you do
me a favor
will you just type in the chat i’m
taking a risk
because you know what you need to be
celebrated
there’s it takes a lot of boldness and a
lot of guts to say i’m willing to step
out and take the risk
and i just want you to know you’re not
alone there are there’s a chat room full
of people that want to pray with you
that want to intercede with you that
want to walk alongside this journey with
you you aren’t alone in this
and for those of you that that you’ve
never made jesus the lord of your life
you’ve never committed to making him the
landlord if you will that when things go
wrong you know he’s the one that you can
call on then today is your day of
salvation
[Music]
all across the building and all over the
world will you repeat this prayer with
me if you would like to make jesus the
lord of your life
dear god
thank you for loving me
thank you for sending your son to die
for me
jesus thank you for laying down your
life to save mine
[Music]
i admit i’ve made mistakes
i pray you would save me
transform me
and change me
in the mighty name of jesus
amen and amen
[Applause]
listen if you have made that decision to
make jesus christ the lord of your life
if you’ve decided this morning that i’m
done with all of this stuff all of this
all of these issues if today is that day
will you do us a favor and will you text
the word saved to a2 a2 a2
it’s going to be here at the bottom of
the screen we just want to connect you
with your next steps we are so excited
for you in this next season of your life
with christ
i promise it won’t be easy but it will
be worth it all
just like i said the apostle paul that
says everything pales in comparison to
jesus
i don’t want to sugarcoat it and tell
you that everything’s going to be
perfect but i want to tell you it will
be amazing
walking with jesus all the days of your
lives is the best decision you can ever
make we are so excited for you for this
new life in christ
now listen we love you we want you to
continue to pray for our lead pastors as
they’re on sabbatical they need our
prayers they covet our prayers we are
excited the words that they’re going to
bring back in in this next season so
continue to lift them up continue to
pray for them continue to shout them out
on social media and let them know how
much you love and you honor them
listen we love you don’t forget to come
back for next week you don’t want to
miss next week’s series of this thing
that we’re calling help i’m hurting it’s
going to be amazing we love you
god loves you go out and live a
transformed life
[Applause]