It’s week 4 of our series What I’m Hearing Here, and we heard some incredible messages from six communicators who are leaders at Transformation Church, and one member from TC Nation! They share with us how they make their “here” holy, no matter where they are. Check out this message and share it with someone in your life who needs to hear it!


what is up hello hello

what is up what is up tc nation my name

is leslie and today i want to talk to

you guys on the subject here feels

barren but here’s holi i know when i

said baron y’all went straight to the

pizza island grabbed you a frozen red

baron pizza but no today i’m not talking

to you about pizza i’m talking to you

about a label

the label baron the label baron that is

given to people who are unable to have


what’s interesting enough in the bible

there’s several women who are given this

label and in the bible when they’re

mentioned in scripture they’re mentioned

first by their label and then their name

doesn’t that sound a lot like today’s


where the labels that you’ve been given

walk into rooms before you even get the

chance to

so as i was preparing for this message i

had to go to good old google and get the

definition of label or definition of

baron and so guys what i found in the

definition of the label baron is

habitually failing to bear fruit and

capable of producing show of hands in

the room and in the chat how many of you

have ever felt like you were incapable

of producing


there have been so many times in my life

where i felt like i was incapable of


i felt as if time and time again i was

taking loss after loss and l after l

and there was a specific season where i

suffered tremendous loss

and in this season i felt like loss was

just my portion

a few years back in a span of four years

i lost two best friends to tragic car


i was sexually assaulted by one of my

best friends who i called a brother

i said goodbye to my grandfather who

died on what would have been his 50th


and i sat next to my best friend my twin

as he took his last breath my dad

and i said goodbye as he passed away

i was suffering tremendous loss and as i

was processing all this trauma and grief

there are different things that just

started happening to my body

and what i thought would be a routine

checkup ended with the words you may

need help having children

if it is even possible and as i was

leaving that appointment my entire

perspective changed

it felt as if every single thing was

limited and lacking and everything was


and i couldn’t see anything any other


and i feel like there’s some of you

today who may have that same perspective

you may be feeling the same way

you’ve had this jilted perspective a

lens for so long you don’t even know

where the initial label even came from

you’ve been going through life wounded

and operating from your pain so guys i

want to help you understand what you’ve

been going through in a point

labels become lenses and lenses become

limits and what i mean by that is if i

was given the label of baron and when i

was given that label of baron i then had

this lens that everything was negative i

felt like i had to put these walls up

around me so i didn’t get hurt anymore i

was then beginning to have this lens

that everything was just wrong

and then that lens gave me this limit

that i had to not be able to trust

myself trust people or trust god

so maybe for you you were given the

label of ugly as a child and then you

began to have this lens of being

unworthy and undesirable and that lens

of unworthiness gave you the limit that

in every single romantic relationship

you would lead with your body and no

longer your mind

some of you were given the label of

stupid which became the lens of

inadequacy and not enough which then

gave you the limit that in every single

room where god actually gave you the

answers you were no longer gonna try and

you were just gonna give up

but guys i don’t know what your label is

but i want you to be encouraged god

wants to remove every single label every

single lens every single limit off of

your life and guys i want you to be

encouraged the label was a lie and i

guys i’m telling you today

i had to make a decision

i was going through so much and i had to

make the decision i’m not going to say

it was easy but in this decision i had

to say god i can trust you

and i can follow you

through this barren season and so guys

as i was processing all this stuff i

began to find this scripture isaiah 41

17-20 i encourage you to read all of it

but i’m only going to share with you

verses 19 and 20. and it says i will

plant cedars acacias myrtles and olive

trees in the wilderness i will put

juniper trees elms and cypress trees

together in the desert so that all may


and know

consider and understand that the hand of

the lord has done this the holy one of

israel has created this so guys what

stuck out to me most was not only that

god promised that he would plant and put

in the wilderness and in the desert but

guys he talks about the different trees

there’s individual trees and i can’t

talk too much because they only gave me

seven minutes and i’m going to stay

submitted but i want to encourage you to

go back and get the symbolism of those


because guys there’s so much power in


but guys i know i didn’t get a chance to

talk about it but i do want to take a

moment though i want to take a moment i

want to give every single one of you the

opportunity to think about the labels in

your life the areas that you have maybe

labeled baron or others have labeled


do you see it in your mind

because that label right there is where

god wants to do his greatest work and i

came to tell you guys today that god is

prepared to pull you through this barren

season and do everything he can to

remove that label and that lens and that

limit god is wanting to help remove it

because if you don’t remove it he can’t

plan he can’t put

he will do every single thing to help

sustain you and fulfill you in your

bearing season and guys he does this not

so that we can claim the victorious and

the miraculous in our own power but he

does that because in verse 20 it says

the hand of the lord has done this guys

god does his greatest work in the most

barren places and i’m here to tell you

today that whatever is bearing in your

life will be served to life again so

guys whoever is in that season of

waiting god is coming to give you peace

and contentment and plant that in your

season he’s wanting to plant strength

and recovery in that place of loss

but guys i’m standing in front of you


i’m standing in faith with some of you

that what was barren in one season will

birth fruit in another

not because of the us and what we can do

but because the god of the universe

loved you so much when the world has

labeled you barren and given you the

report of failure that he will

simultaneously plant in you and put in

you every single thing you need to bear

fruit in any circumstance and still call

it holy

my story is still unfinished

i’m not coming from a place to where i’m

walking in the miracle that i so claim

but guys i have crazy faith that i serve

a god

that will pull anything

that was dead and bring it to life

i have crazy faith that my three-row suv

will be filled with kids in my back and

my husband whipping on the left and i

have crazy faith that the visions of my

family that i have in my mind will come

to pass and i’m believing with you that

what you’re believing for what you need

faith for god will heal you physically

and emotionally

guys if you take anything from today and

say god loves you so much that he wants

to remove every label every lens every

limit and he wants to give you what you

need in this season i’m a living witness

of what god will do when he turns lack

into life and barren into beautiful and

i’m here to tell you today that here may

feel barren but here’s holy

my name is steven toppell and here feels


but here is holi

have you ever felt vulnerable before put

your hand in the air put a hand emoji in

the chat if you felt vulnerable before

and as you’re thinking of a moment in

your life where you were vulnerable i

want to actually explain to you what

vulnerability is some of you might be

like i think i know what it is but maybe

you don’t vulnerability is when a person

willingly takes a risk to reveal their

emotions and weaknesses

and whenever you’re studying a word i

study vulnerable a lot

whenever you study a word you should

always look up the antonym or the

opposite meaning of the word and the

opposite meaning of vulnerable is

actually not a word it’s a phrase and

that phrase is well protected

and i found this phrase so interesting

well protected

because society loves to tell us this

phrase keep your guard up

keep your guard up keep your guard up

keep your guard up you hear that your

whole life you need to keep your guard

up watch your back make sure you don’t

get hurt make sure they don’t come at

you make sure you don’t get betrayed

and i began to wonder how could you

really keep your guard up

like in the literal sense how could you

keep your guard up 24 7.

and i actually thought of an idea i mean

it’s it’s a funny one but it would be if

you actually put like physical armor on

like that would be the one way you could

probably keep your guard up from a

physical sense

and so i want to do an exercise with you

guys for a second

i’m gonna take you down three exercises

actually if you think it’s funny please

laugh if you don’t please laugh because

i i think it’s funny um but imagine with

me a knight in shining armor in 2022

and this knight is wearing his armor 24

7. and i want to give you three examples

of how this would play out in 2022 the

first is this

imagine if the knight hasn’t been home

for months he’s been at war and he sees

his two-year-old daughter

and as he comes to see his two-year-old

daughter they get down on eye level just

like in the movies and she begins to run

towards him in slow motion

she jumps in the air

and they embrace

an instant concussion


her head’s literally hitting armor

like in the movies it looks comfortable

but it’s definitely not comfortable like

it’s it’s hard steel and so i wonder how

many of us are going around giving hugs

and hurting people

and i don’t know what you’ve gone


i don’t know why you have armor on maybe

but you’re potentially going out and

hugging people that you love with good

intent but you’re hurting them in the



let me give you another one this is a

fun one you’re gonna love this

imagine with me that same night comes

home he hasn’t seen his wife in months

and he says girl is about to go down


he says hey let me freshen up real quick

though he comes out the shower but he’s

not wearing a robe he’s not wearing a

towel he’s wearing his armor

and i’ll let you fill in the blank

but guess what this same night now goes

around town and he’s complaining to

everyone that him and his wife don’t

connect on an emotional physical and

sexual level and maybe

there must be a problem with my spouse

so let me go and find someone else in

the world who i can connect with on an

intimate level because it’s definitely

my spouse’s fault but the reality is is

that you’re out here talking about your

spouse being the problem but you’re the

problem because you’re wearing metal

lingerie in the bedroom

you’re not being vulnerable

all right let me give you one more more

i’m not leaving up i’m not gonna leave

out the single people i’m not gonna

leave y’all out i have a lot of single

friends and they always say this wording

this phrase they say man it’s rough out


and i’m here to tell you it’s not rough

out here you’re rough out here

like you literally got on some armor

and when someone gets close to you and

they get to know you they’re rubbing up

on your armor and it’s actually hurting

them and now they don’t want anything to

do with you and so you’re saying it’s

rough out here because you can’t find

someone to connect with you but it’s

because you’re wearing armor


and i’ma calm down for a second i got

everyone a little too hyped i’m gonna

read you some scripture because you

might be like all right this is great

but i need some word i’m gonna give you

the word

first samuel 17 38 and 39 says this back

story this is david about to go slay


and up until this moment he’s been

living a very vulnerable life it says

this then saul gave david his own armor

a bronze helmet and a coat of mail david

put it on strapped the sword over it and

took a step or two to see what it was

like for he had never worn such things


i can’t go on

in these things he protested assault i’m

not used to them so david took them off

something i noticed about this passage

was that up until this moment david had

lived a vulnerable life and it wasn’t

until this exact moment that he had the

ability actually the option whether or

not he would put armor on keep it on or

take it off

and in psychology actually there’s so

many reasons why many of us today have

armor on and why we have a fear of

vulnerability there’s actually three

main reasons why you may have a fear of

vulnerability and the first is this that

you had a lack of stability or

predictability in your life

the second is that you may have an

ingrained fear of abandonment or


and the third is that you may have had a

lack of attention from a loved one at an

early age

and i don’t know which one of these

three you fall into i don’t know if you

went to 34 different elementary schools

because you moved so much and you had no

stability in your life and because of

that you said i’m going to put armor on

so that i can’t be hurt by the fact that

i can never get comfortable in a


or maybe

you had someone leave you

a father a mother maybe they left you by

choice maybe they passed away maybe just

a friend or a loved one just decided to

abandon you because of that you’re

saying to yourself now i’m going to wear

armor for the rest of my life so that no

one can ever hurt me who loves me

or maybe you’re one of like 10 children

if you have 10 children i’m praying for


maybe you’re one of 10 children and you

just sadly got neglected as a child and

because of that you didn’t get the

attention that you needed and to this

day you’re still wearing armor to make

sure that if at any moment you feel that

you are not getting the attention or the

the feelings that you need from someone

else you will be protected

and i’m still trying to figure out what

it is in my life i’m going to counseling

i recommend counseling to everybody

but as i continue to go through this i

said that

here feels vulnerable because there


and my goal for you today is that if you

don’t hear anything else it would be

that you learn today as you go on with

the rest of your life

that it’s okay to be vulnerable

that you may have had a moment in your

life where you decided to put armor on

but today can be the day you decide to

take it off

and actually let me go a little bit

deeper you may be trying to take off

your armor and you may be taking off a

piece at a time and saying to yourself

well it doesn’t feel like i’m fully

vulnerable yet so i must just i should

probably just put it back on because

it’s not working but the reality is that

it’s about progression not perfection

and if i look back at my own life

i look back at the time when i was not

vulnerable and i remember specific

instances in my life i remember when my

grandfather who was my hero passed away

and i remember every time i went to the

hospital to see him before he passed

i stopped myself from crying

even though i was surrounded by people i


because i thought that if i looked weak

or if i was vulnerable i would get hurt


and i remember having a breakdown later

on in private because the emotions that

were underneath my armor could not

contain themselves anymore

and i don’t want you to have a breakdown

i don’t want you to have to go through


i remember a moment when i first got

married to my wife siani

and she needed some emotional

intelligence for me but i was in armor

and i didn’t have that emotional

capacity to love her the way she needed

at first and that she just needed to be

told that she that i loved her and that

she was beautiful and i just wasn’t

there at that moment and i remember

i remember so many conversations we had

that i was just trying and i’m trying

and i’m still getting better through

counseling man i go to counseling by

myself we go to marriage counseling i

don’t know why people do pre-marital

counseling i brought a tissue because i

knew i wasn’t getting vulnerable

people go to pre

people go to pre-marital counseling

but they don’t do counseling continuous

in their marriage as if you only needed

it to start but you don’t need it to


i’m gonna wrap up here real quick cause

i’m over my time

but i have practical steps for you if

you’re saying how do i take my armor off

there’s some quick things one i need you

to go to counseling i keep saying it you

need to go the stigma that is wrong is

not okay you have trauma and it’s okay

that we can address it the second thing

is i need you to get to know jesus

because as you get to know him he can

take the armor off you when you can’t

and the third thing is i need you to get

in a community of people who can love

you and show you that you have armor on

in the wrong times and that they can

help take it off

and i say all that to say my name is

stephen toppel and here feels vulnerable

but here is holy


what’s good tc nation what’s good

my name is quentin dixon

and here

feels foreign

but here is holy

i have a question for everyone how many

of you all have found yourself in a

foreign place in life raise your hand go

ahead put it in the comments a place of


a new place a place of uncertainty a

place where nothing is making sense

and if none of those things apply to you

then let’s think about 2020 when covey

hit all of us were in a foreign place in

some type of way right well let me tell

you a story about me and my wife

in january 2021 we heard distinctly from

god oh there’s going to be a change in

the shift in your life be prepared so as

the head of my household i decreed and

declared this is a year of walking on


something impossible something that

would lead us into the unknown something

that would require us to depend and rely

on god solely so we prayed and fasted

lord please just put us in your will

that’s all we want wherever you send us

whatever it costs we will surrender and


in month

and month and month

and month kept passing by and all we had

was the promises of god to continue to

declare and to pray and stand upon

it wasn’t until december 2021 that we

arrived to our new state our new home

our new job our new place only to feel

like foreigners in a foreign land


how is this ain’t making no sense

so so we started struggling on the easy

things like where do we go to the

grocery store and what are the safe

places in town and lord where are the

parks because i got two infants and they

can’t keep running in my household okay

and where do we go to shop because i

like a little bit of retail therapy and

where do i go to make sure these locks

don’t look crazy lord it’s foreign here

and if that wasn’t enough

me and my wife started to struggle more

and more in our relationship we became

more and more frustrated with each other

and it seemed like all the money that i

was making was not quite enough because

it was more going out than was coming in

and here we are two parents with two

infants with no community

god how are we going to be the best

parents that we can be

god how can this foreign place be holy

because since arriving here god you have

started to expose all the idols that i

worship to cope with the fear the

anxiety the distress god the

overwhelming feeling god you’re starting

to challenge and expose them and god

this is the truth none of us really like

to be in a vulnerable place tc nation is

that true too

because when we’re in a vulnerable place

we find ourselves with no control

completely vulnerable and everything

that lies unresolved within it starts to

get exposed and it was this captioning


you start running available your life

like david only because your calling and

your anointing has been revealed holy is

the place where you’re like paul and

you’re constrained in the prison and all

you have is just prayer and worship holy

my son is the place where you are just

like job where you have given everything

to god only to lose what you love and

own holy this is holy quentin

so i have to ask this question to you

again tc nation

are you feeling heavy with the

hopelessness of a foreign place maybe

like me you’ve abandoned everything in

search of lord only to feel doubt and

paralyzing fear because you felt like

everything you invested wasn’t enough

i know exactly how you feel and i have

to take this moment to encourage you

that god didn’t do this by no

happenstance you are right where he

wants you to be and if i got to go to

the bible let me go to the bible then

first samuel the chapter 3 he talks

about the prophet by the name of samuel

and the priest eli he was attending to

him he goes to sleep and he lays there

and he hears his voice samuel

so instinctively he goes to eli hey you

call me right he said no son i didn’t

call you go back to bed he goes back to

bed samuel hey eli that was you right no

son go back to sleep

he hears his name again samuel and in

this moment eli responds with wait hold


i know exactly what’s happening god is

calling his name and just because he

hasn’t heard his voice he believes that

this is foreign this is foreign to him

so this time he instructs him hasten the

next time if you do hear this voice i

want you to respond speak your servant

is listening

so he says okay he goes and he lays down

and sure enough he hears his name samuel

again he responds speak your servant is

listening and god takes this moment of

obedience to propel him and to push into

his purpose and so if i could take this

story i want to petition utc nation that

foreigners are citizens of holi

and i know you’re saying this is an

oxymoron because how can a foreigner be

a citizen a rightful person in holy but

i have to remind you also that the word

says that we are of this world and we’re

in this world but we are not of this

world and so i need you to take your

identity the right way and i also need

you to remember this that if you’re

anything like me we like to abandon our

ear in this season because we don’t have

control of everything and so we start to

overthink in our mind but i want to ask

you this question will you respond like

samuel speak your servant is listening

speak your servants listen i hear you

god calling me speak your servant is

listening because listen i don’t want to

be like my family my friends trying to

figure out this foreign place speak your

servant is listening god i need you in

this moment because tick tock and

instagram are just not enough for me to

cope in this foreign place speak your

servant is listening god i know i have a

lot of bad habits and i know i have a

lot of mechanisms of coping but it’s not

enough i need your voice god god i am

identifying that i am a foreigner i’m a

walking talking living breathing for it

and i need your voice

so i come to this resolve

could it be that god himself

designed this place for you to yield to

him more

and could this foreign place be

intentional and not happen since for it

to be a step of approval

that you’re not disqualified that you’re

not lost that you’re not in a foreign

place and you’re in your way but god

calls you he redestines you he loves you

and he’s pulling you into his glory so

it is in this moment that i have to say

we have to embrace this foreign place

because god wants to use it to propel

you to seek him into your unfamiliar to

release all of your unbelief to accept

that god is going to continue to bring

you into foreign places to keep you in

holy so yes you

me and so many others find ourselves in

a foreign place and it feels so hard but


it’s holy


give it up for quentin one more time

come on all the way from dallas give it

up for him one more time

you could do better than that come on

i’ll take a couple of my seconds to give

to him

well hello everyone my name is deya


and here feels messy

but here is holy

you see anyone that knows me knows that

i hate a mess if you come to my house

you quickly realize that i believe

there’s a place for everything and you

should put it there

i’m the girl who went out and bought

glass jugs to transfer my milk into

because it was cleaner and it was a

better aesthetic i mean if you open up

my refrigerator every label faces the

right way

i am little miss 14 journals because if

i mess up on one i gotta have another

one listen i don’t have plastic on my

furniture yet so i think i’m doing okay

but yes i hate a mess

how many of you know though that

sometimes you just can’t avoid messes

have any of you ever been in a season

where you feel like it’s a mess

well maybe not every part but maybe your

personal life is messy but your career

is taking off

or your work life feels like it’s

falling apart but your work your

personal life is falling in order

listen the good news is today is that

the mess qualifies you for a miracle

if you are in any type of messy season

in your life would you raise your hand

and in the chat but i’m qualified for a


listen i know at times it feels like god

is far away from us in the mess but that

is incorrect in fact in deuteronomy and

31-8 it says the lord goes before you he

shall never leave you nor forsake you do

not be afraid and do not be discouraged

but you see i like to stay as far away

from this as possible i don’t like messy

places i hate messy situations and i

surely don’t deal with messy people

because at one point in my life it

seemed like i was addicted to mess

i came from a broken home with a single

mother who struggled with depression

overcame addiction and abuse

my biological father he coped with his

feelings by drowning himself in food and

was completely emotionally unavailable

he coped with the food so much that he

actually ended up dying at the dinner

table on thanksgiving when i was 14

years old

this mess led me on a journey of

self-sabotage and reckless living

by 15 years old i found myself pregnant

and i felt like i only had one option


my life began to spiral out of control

after that at 16 years old i left school

i left my house and i was homeless

living on the street and living in

abandoned buildings and couch surfing i

found myself getting involved in gang


i was in the middle of of people being

murdered that i knew right in front of

me and drug deals and murders for hire

anything that gave me an adrenaline rush

or felt messy i was down for

at 17 years old my oldest daughter’s

father i met him and he was also a gang

banger but it just so happened that he

lived right next door to a little church

in the hood and that’s where i met jesus

i finally had the peace and the

stability that i had been looking for

all my life

shortly after that i married that man at

the ripe old age of 17 years old we got

pregnant and i finally felt like i had a

family that i always wanted

but unfortunately he became abusive and

he was extremely unfaithful and our

relationship took a toxic turn

after years of abuse i took my daughter

and i left

and i would love to stand up here and

tell you that i stayed on the path of

righteousness but that’s not the case i

was progressing not perfect

you see i was addicted to mess

i ended up in toxic relationships with

two more abortions and a life full of

more brokenness and more emptiness

i was clubbing every night drinking and

filling myself with any and everything

that i could to make me forget about the

mess of a life that i had created

my second daughter’s father i got

pregnant with him immediately and at

this point i knew that if i didn’t love

myself enough that i had to love my

children enough not to allow them to

live and experience the life of

emptiness that i was living

as i continued to surrender to god he

continued to draw me closer he loved me

he healed me he delivered me he set me

free from years of bondages and

generational cycles and slowly began to

restore my life

in joel 2 25 it talks about that

restoration but in joel 227 it says then

meaning after you’ve been restored after

you’ve received christ you shall know

that i am in the midst of israel

you see it’s important to denote that

israel here means one who struggles with


you see i struggled with god

i struggled believing that there was a

god that would stand in the midst of my

mess with me and love me even still

now maybe your story isn’t as messy as

mine maybe your mess looks like family

drama or financial strain or maybe your

life looks wonderful on the outside but

internally you are struggling believing

that god is in the midst of your mess

listen we all have messy parts of our

lives that we walk through but what i

came to tell you today is that your mess

will qualify you for a miracle so i

didn’t come here today to preach a

pretty little three-point sermon tied in

a bow i came here today to give you hope

that hope in the midst of your mess

jesus is there and if jesus is here then

here has to be holy

now obviously this is just a snapshot of

my life there is so much more that i

could share but as of today i have two

amazing adult daughters and god has

given me a charge in this season it’s a

new charge he has given me three

additional beautiful little girls that i

have custody of to take care of as a

single mother

and as i was preparing for this sermon

he gently pointed out

that for the three children that i lost

he has restored and entrusted me with

three beautiful souls to take care of

and in the latter part of joel verse 2

27 says i am the lord your god and there

is no other my people shall never be put

to shame

so i stand up here on this platform with

this prestigious panel of speakers

unashamed knowing that god was in the

midst of my mess and out of that mess he

has birthed many miracles and if god

will do it for a messed up broken

unchurched girl like me there is nothing

that he won’t do for you

my name is deirelli and here may feel

like a mess but here is holy


come on


hey we we done y’all go out and live a

transformed life

there’s nothing else to say okay

may i’ll give it up for there one more

time man come on come on come on

that bless me

well what’s up tc nation my name is

caleb sean mccampbell and here feels


but here is holi

so funny story i was drafted into this

group of communicators i did not send in

the video and true story like the day

before videos were due i got approached

by leadership pastor will shout out and

he said hey bro uh you know can you uh

send a send a video in by it today

tomorrow and i was like yeah

i’m i ain’t got time for seven and seven

i got 770 70 70 things to do so i was

like yeah sure i’ll try and i did not

send in the video and that monday

sure enough i got an email and said

congratulations seven and seven speaker

you’ve been selected i was like

y’all playing games congratulations what

you congratulating me for i ain’t do

nothing like i was like what so needless

to say

feeling blank that was my topic okay so

so i have a question for you real quick

have you ever felt like you’ve been in a

situation where you just were unable to

articulate how it was that you were

feeling right so what i want to do real

quick is i want to just throw out a few

spark words that you guys and see if you

can identify with any of these feelings

and if you can you might be in the blank

space okay so just just in the in the

chat if this is your word type in yeah

that’s me and go fire emojis go crazy

okay okay try this empty





boring come on some of y’all bored right

now because you you ain’t watch service

in three months and you tuned in looking

for pastor michael todd and you see me

here as holy okay







maybe you feel like you’re in a season

where you know you’re just waiting

you’re in the waiting room right now

you’re waiting on promotion you’ve been

believing god for promotion and you’re

seeing other people get the promotion

that you feel like you deserve

here feels blank maybe it’s healing that

you’re waiting for god for you’ve been

believing god for healing in this season

god i know you’re going to do it and you

pray for somebody else and you saw their

healing manifest right before your very

own eyes but you still have not

experienced yours yet that is

frustrating can we just be hot

here feels blank

maybe it’s maybe it’s a prophetic word

that you got and and and the prophet of

the century came to you and was like in

the name of jesus i can see right now i

see you on a on a rocket ship young man

lift your hand like i kid you not i kid

you not i literally had a very powerful

prophet it’s gonna come to pass and he

told me like i see you on a rocket ship

and i see you with joy just floating and

i was like yo listen i ain’t on a rocket

right now y’all i’m sitting here on the

ground talking to y’all right now but i

have joy and here is still holy but it

does feel a little blank okay so i want

to challenge your perspective real quick

on the feeling of blank and some of the

revelation that god has given me here in

the blank space okay share just a little

bit of my testimony okay so 2020 i moved

here to tulsa oklahoma

shout out and i accepted my assignment i

was doing what i was supposed to do

doing everything that god had called me

to do got married the same year yo shout

out to wifey india i love you and so

like you know seriously i was doing my

thing and what i did not anticipate with

that life would become chaotic that all

of a sudden that the car that i bought

brand new that year 2020 with two years

later now have 95 000 miles on it

because i’ve been driving back and forth

between two different cities dealing

with absolutely unreasonable court

issues and drama because of personal

stuff with my family i did not

anticipate that my relationship with my

father would become so toxic that i

would have to you know create some

boundaries with him and that eventually

he would just kind of start treating me

like i’m an enemy and eventually just

show no fatherly compassion toward me at

all and just really abandoned me in a

season where i really needed fatherly

guidance here feels


what do you do when you’re serving the

season that you know god has called you

to be in and you’re doing it excellently

and you’re doing it well but then all of

a sudden chaos just is surrounding you

left and right

but i’m here to tell you


in the blank space you will be tested

and you will be tried okay i want to go

to scripture there’s a bunch of places

where we see in scripture but i want to

focus on two quick things go first of

all i want you to read the whole book of

job i don’t have time to go into all of

it but there’s a man named job

and listen let me tell you something you

read that book and it will deal with

your whole life whatever you’re going

through you will forget about it i

promise you okay

but job is the only man in the whole

scripture that’s referred to as a

righteous man now we know jesus was

righteous but he’s the only one that’s

referred to in that manner but he lost

everything i mean everything his wife

told him to curse god and die

and he didn’t do it though

god restored him double but in the

meantime before that happened he was

like god what do i do he was mad he was

frustrated can we just be hot that’s how

it is but he didn’t curse god and and he

didn’t die he stayed faithful

you know when i look also i think about

daniel daniel in the bible he was a

prophet and he had great favor with the

lord great favor with the lord they were

the king as well and what ended up

happening was he was doing what he was

supposed to be doing

he was because he wouldn’t curse god

because he wouldn’t deny the true and

living god some haters rolled up on him

long story short and he ended up in the

lion’s den listen this is not a story

time daniel in the lantern no like this

is this is like real like a real lions

then imagine yourself there it’s not a

game y’all like this is what really

happened but daniel had a decision to

make and he had to say god i’m going to

be faithful regardless of what it is

that i’m feeling what it is that i’m

seeing i know you’re going to pull me

through it in jesus name i know you got

me lord and so what i’ve come to realize

is that listen

you the enemy wants you to be distracted

in this in the blank space and what you

have to do you have to begin to say you

know what

even though

i might be looking and waiting for this

healing god says i am all the things

that i need god says i am i’m waiting

for that promotion i am i’m expecting

that baby to come and i feel like i’m

whatever it is god says i am in response

to that very thing i’m here to tell you

and one more thing when i think about uh

the blank space i think about a canvas i

think about a blank canvas and a blank a

blank canvas it just looks boring right

there’s not much to look at but a blank

canvas is the perfect place for new

things to be created and to be

constructed okay

and and what god began to deal with me

on the blank space and he said

he he had me thinking about the word

canvas and

i looked up the definition of it so

check this definition it says a canvas

is a closely woven heavy cloth of cotton

hemp or linen used for tents sales etc

well if you know anything about the

history of worship then you know that

the tabernacle was the place that we

came to worship at right and and the

tabernacle was a place it was a tent

right and the scripture refers to it as

the tent of meeting it’s a big canvas

that covers and that’s where they came

to meet with the lord and what god began

to do with me on was he said caleb

while you’re sitting here frustrated

because you feel like you’re not hearing

from me you feel like you’re not where

you want to be you’re sitting here in

the blank space god said caleb if you’ll

just begin to sit under the canvas of my

presence then i can begin to pour and

begin to begin to write and give you new

ideas and to pour into you into the

canvas of your heart and on your mind

that’s where i can really speak to you

in my presence and so i’ll read this

scripture for you real quick and be done

jeremiah 33 3 it says call to me and i

will answer you and i will show you

great and unsearchable things you do not

know but i love the message version it

says this it says call to me and i will

answer you and i’ll tell you marvelous

and wondrous things that you could never

figure out on your own

what does god want to show you that’s

the question

i submit to utc nation that in the blank

space that it is an invitation

to the secret place

i was waiting and the whole time god

just wanted to know will you take the

time to sit and be still with me god

wants to know tc nation will you wait on

him in the secret place

falling to your knees will you seek his

face o lord here is holy

tc nation

here may feel blank but here is holy




hello everybody

thanks brianna

my name is abby metcalf and for me

here is painful

but here is holi

okay guys so literally since july of

2018 i have either been pregnant nursing

or both that’s four years guys four

years that i have been just like

eternally pregnant and in that time

i’ve realized that like when you hold

your baby for the first time there is


gift and it is just the sweetest thing

being able to hold them for the first

time experience that love it’s the

sweetest thing in the whole world but

that gift does not come without a whole

lot of pain

so with my first son with arlo um i

puked every single day of my pregnancy

every single day literally charles is my

witness we pull up to the hospital to

have him i had an indeed or a planned

induction all the things we pull in and

got all our stuff ready puked just right

like pull into the driveway puke and i

just started laughing i was like all

right well it’s one more time

and then of course it was my first

pregnancy so i’m like i’m gonna try a

natural childbirth like i’m a woman i

can do this right it’s like my right of

passage no no no no no no so i try it

i’m like going you know it it’s hurting

it’s whatever i tell my doctor i don’t

want the epidural then she comes in and

she’s like hey we kind of need to speed

things up so i’m going to go ahead and

break your water

anybody who’s given birth knows that

when you break your water the

contractions after that are like

off the charts like under i literally i

forgot every natural thing i’d ever

thought in my life i was like get me the

epidural now like give me the papers

whatever i gotta sign give me the


but i was thinking about all of that all

that pain that i experienced in those

moments in pregnancy over the last four

years and childbirth all the things and


the most painful things i’ve experienced

in my life have not been physical

they’ve been emotional

and i know that anything that you’ve

gone through in life i don’t know what

it may be but i know that there’s been

some pain with it

and i am actually a seven on the

enneagram i don’t know

for those of you who know about sevens

oh yeah sevens or the life of the party

that’s us

we love like a good time and hate pain

so actually today i wanted to like come

up here and tell you guys like i wanted

to give you some points about why we

experience pain where it originated from

and how we can avoid it at all costs


as i started digging into it

unfortunately that’s not what i found

uh you see i found that pain actually

produces something

whether you’re aware of it or not your

pain is either producing a callous or

your pain is producing compassion


so in 2020 charles and i we had

experienced a lot of things like so many

people did in 2020 experienced so much

it was a painful year and we started

going to marriage counseling for the

first time and i remember actually

sitting down and telling my counselor we

were about to like start talking about

like just everything and i just remember

literally sitting there and i was like i

don’t even want to begin this process

because i know how painful i know how

painful it feels right now but the

thought of going through the pain again

talking about it again feels so much

worse i just want to just stay here i

just want to stay here


it’s actually it’s interesting because

i’ve realized that the enemy would like

to convince you that your pain is either

a punishment or your pain is permanent

but the truth is that actually your pain

can be your very purpose in this life


when we look at jesus actually it’s like

okay how did jesus deal with painful

moments when he was on the cross it

talks about this in luke 23

he’s getting he’s being nailed to the

cross by the roman soldiers and it

describes each of his hands being nailed

in one by one and in that moment jesus

cries out what is he cry he could have

cried out anything in this moment the

heart of god was to cry out father

forgive them

in his most physically painful moment

he was compassionate

if i am honest

my i i would so much rather like to not

deal with it and and just let this pain

produce this callus and then because

when you have the callous you don’t feel

pain as much but then you also don’t

feel joy as much and you also don’t feel

compassion as much

guys i realized that actually this pain

is a gift

and it opens our eyes to adopting the

very heart of god

even when i think about mary so much as

a mother i i often think about her


the first thing that she experiences she

you know she has the angel visit her

tell her you’re going to be used by god

like that’s what she says a lot of us

pray like god use us please use me use

me in this life i want to be used by you

all these things

she is probably the person who was used

by god the most she has this moment this

angel comes to her it’s like hey god’s

going to use you

what does she experience right off the

bat pain she lives in a city where it’s

probably very religious she’s only 14

years old she has people looking at her

like we know you’re not married and

you’re pregnant you guys know what that

would feel like that is a painful

experience then i can imagine that she’s

like okay you know

this is painful but it’s going to get



hears this promise from god that she’s

going to give birth to a king only to 33

years later seeing her son

it’s painful because it’s our savior

it’s painful i can’t imagine my son

she has to see her son


before her eyes

and i would love to know like more about

mary and more about her story

but i would love to think that maybe she

helped mothers who also lost sons

and i don’t know what your story is

maybe you’ve had friends leave you and

so you have this callous on your heart

you don’t want to let anybody else in

because you just don’t want to get hurt

again maybe um a father figure

wasn’t around in your life so now you

don’t let men and you don’t even know

their name to get to know them you you

just don’t want them anywhere close to

you because you don’t want to feel pain

and actually right before i was about to

come up here i was standing over there

and i was kind of overwhelmed with

emotion just feeling all of the people

who are feeling just stuck in your pain

and that you want to give up in your

pain because the enemy has convinced you

that this is either permanent or this is

a punishment and i i have come to tell

you that god can use your pain and turn

it into your purpose the very things

that are hurting you if you if you open

up to it if you let yourself process it

if you let yourself go through it god

will use the very things that are

hurting your heart to somehow start to

heal you you’ll use your community

around you to start to heal you as you

work through it as you talk through it

please don’t quit in the pain

because there’s always another side to

the story but if you quit in the pain if

you give up now you don’t know the

ending you don’t know what it is

and there is this sweet reward like i

mentioned before the sweet reward of

pregnancy and it’s very easy to see in

pregnancy that there is something coming

but it’s very hard to see in life when

we’re experiencing some type of pain

you’re like this could not be for

anything this could not be for something

maybe you are experiencing pushing pains

and you’re about to get out the purpose

in your life keep pushing keep going

keep extreme that pain and let yourself

experience the sweet reward of pain and

that is compassion and empathy in the

heart of god

so today it might feel painful but here



holy what’s up tc nation

i am broderick mcbride


feels little

but here

is holy

have you ever heard someone call what

you’re doing or what you have in your

hand little

you know that how’s that little business

doing how did the book coming along okay

i see you in your little relationship oh

look at you in your little outfit

where you think you go in

where i come from when someone calls

something little it’s not always a term

of endearment it’s actually a joke a

play on word it is an attempt to cause

the thing that is being called little

to be something that is insignificant

i can’t tell you how many times my

confidence in a skill and a talent in a

relationship in in my own very much own

power has gone up in smoke the very

moment that i heard someone else call

what i had in my hand little and let’s

not even dig into the negative self-talk

the negative inner chatter that comes


how many of us refuse to show up in our

fullness because we feel as if that what

we have in our hand is insignificant

doesn’t deserve any point of value or

any point of connection because it is


how many life-changing relationships and

big opportunities how we self-sabotage

because we felt as if

we’re too little

what’s so interesting about the concept

of little is little is a negative word

little literally doesn’t know that it’s

little until it’s compared to something

that is seemingly much bigger

social media has become a cesspool of

comparison it’s a highest as if the

highlight reels posted on social media

have become the standard for living life

like it’s golden

fam i come to tell you today that social

media is a trap comparison is a trap it

causes us to feel as if if we don’t have

the big highlight for the real then the

little that we do have in our hand

doesn’t deserve use doesn’t deserve

investment and doesn’t deserve

announcement but here btc nation little

lives in comparison and comparison is a

grave comparison is the place where life

destiny and god-given dreams go to die

in darkness tormenting darkness

have you ever considered what exactly

can god do with my little

tc nation have you silenced yourself

long enough long enough long enough to

ask god and to ask yourself how does god

feel about me calling this god-given

thing within me


first kings 17 first king 17 were

introduced to the story of prophet

elijah who has found himself in the

middle of a god-sent drought god gives

prophet elijah specific instructions god

says go to the village in zaraphat

that’s how i imagine god’s hall go to

the village called zerofat for there i

have prepared a widow woman to take care

of you

at the top of elijah’s conversation he

asked the woman for food doesn’t it feel

disrespectful and inconsiderate when

others decide to feast on your little

the woman says in first kings 17 verse

12 the message translation she says i

swear as surely as the lord your god

live i don’t have as much as a biscuit i

have a handful of flour in a jar and a

little ore and you found me scratching

together just enough firewood to make

the last meal for my son and me and

after we eat

we’ll die

this woman was so fixated on her current

reality that she couldn’t see beyond her

dry place her little place the drought

the drought had dried up this woman’s

optimism just as much as this trout had

dried up the water in the region the

drought had dried up the woman’s hope

for a better tomorrow just as the

drought had drawn up the water and

elijah’s broke

but elijah was a man who had an ear to

hear god beyond this drop moment this

little moment to encourage the woman to

use what little she had to be a blessing

to someone and in return her little

would not run out

family it took her crazy faith

it took her crazy afraid to follow the

instructions of a stranger named elijah

and feed him first

can you imagine her putting her pride

and putting her little thinking on the

back burner as she popped that cake into

the oven not knowing whether i’m not if

there was going to be enough for her and

her son to eat

she thought that the little that she had

in her hand was her last i’m sure the

woman never considered that a little in

the hands of another would have been

considered a lot

so the one in the region who had no oil

and who had no meal the woman’s little

was more than enough

however left in her hands left in her

negative thinking and her negative talk

this very much so could have been her

last meal

here’s the nugget what you have labeled

little and what you have heard others

call little is actually all you need

when it’s placed in the right hands

jesus tells us in matthew 17 all it

takes is a little faith to move big


so what seemingly insurmountable big

mountain it’s not moving because we feel

as if what we have is too little it’s

too small it doesn’t deserve movement it

doesn’t deserve attention it doesn’t

have the power that’s necessary to push



the widow woman her and her son and

prophet elijah in a whole household were

able to eat during the drought

the beauty about this sex is that it

highlights this truth with god your

little does not equal your last

when we journey with god little is only

a pit stop it is not the final

destination so yes it feels barren yes

it feels vulnerable yes it feels blank

yes it feels painful yes it feels messy

but baby keep going


keep going

especially when your little

has been commanded by god

the bible tells us in first kings 17 and

9 hallelujah that the woman was

commanded she was prepared she was

appointed by god to take care of the

prophet so if that be true that means

the little in her hand had been

commanded it had been appointed it had

been designed

cc nation those online and in the room

don’t you dare ever again mislabel

misname or miscall where you are in life


if it has been god ordained

well broderick what does this look like

in real time okay fam i got you where i

come from

i was a highly respected leader

i was a trusted executive

and a favored friend

but that all changed when i moved to


when i moved here

god ordered

and confirmed

my move here

there’s a different type of pain

there’s a different type of grief

there’s a different type of trauma

when you choose to follow god

and when you finally get to the place

that god called you to

it feels like a scam

it feels like you just got played it

feels like you misheard him in the

moment you see there

i was a big fish

in a little pond

but here

i’m a little fish

in a big pond

i wrestle with the thoughts that what i

have is no longer enough i wrestle with

the thoughts that what i used to do

there doesn’t translate well here

tc nation what do you do when you’re

little causes you to question your

identity your value your worth your

significance in an environment i got

bible for you according to zechariah 4

and 10 it says despise not the days of

small little beginnings

you can’t despise them you can’t despise

them here’s some wisdom every here is a

new beginning so again don’t you dare

mislabel or discredit you’re here

what we label little is sometimes our

only way that we get to abundance

we don’t go from nothing

we don’t go from nothing to something

automatically we must all start


just here may feel little but that

little has been god designated it has

been god prepared and it is not your end

where i am now my my here it looks a

little bit different

it looks a little bit different

i’m not i’m not necessarily doing what i

used to do or even what i’m equipped to


but my little oil

my little anointing

mixed with god’s word is still preparing

a good meal for sin sick souls so


it may feel little my oil has not lost

its potency or

flow tc nation if you don’t take nothing

from this moment

hear me yes

although may be little

if it is god designated if it is god

appointed if it is god commanded it is

more than enough

it is more than enough so yes although

here feels little

here is holy

oh can you give it up

oh come on can you give it up

for broderick and abby and caleb and dia

and quinton and steven and leslie come

on my goodness my goodness y’all ready

to go next week y’all want to just run

it back again

that was seriously i just want to say

thank you to each one of you you’re


so many things but i want to encourage

you in your ability to go through what

you talked about today

you ministered out of a place of

overflow out of authenticity and it was

absolutely amazing can we give it up for

all of our seven and seven speakers one

more time

we’re so powerful

hey listen we’re gonna close our service

i don’t i don’t know where you may be


um but maybe you’re in a spot where it

feels barren

maybe you feel vulnerable or exposed

maybe you feel in a foreign place maybe

you feel messy or

it feels like you’re in the blank space

you don’t know how to describe it it

feels painful

it may feel little i don’t know what the

word is for you

but there’s an opportunity we have here

is to acknowledge that no matter how i


god is still here

and i want to take a moment to pray over

two groups of people the first group is

maybe you identified with one of these

you feel like you’re stuck in a space

where it feels contradictory to what god

said and i want to pray that your faith

would be sparked today that there would

be something that rises up on the inside

of you to know that you don’t have to

question god’s goodness here you don’t

have to question his provision here that

you can trust god right


and uh you know if you’re in a space

right now i’m going to ask everybody in

this room to go ahead and stand up we’re

going to close our service if you’re in

a space here online where you are are

struggling with some sort of feeling

here maybe it’s one that that was

identified maybe it’s one that wasn’t

spoken maybe like caleb you feel like

i’m in the blank space i don’t really

know how but but i need god to remind me

that here is

holy i’m gonna ask you right now all

around the world would you take a moment

and just pray with me lord god lord we

can’t begin to explain

the depth of what here feels like

for some of us here feels empty for some

of us here feels hopeless for some of us

here feels like we’ll never get out of

here for some of us lord god we don’t

even know where to start but right now

lord god i thank you that lord the

introduction that you gave to mary was

that you will call him jesus emmanuel



us god i thank you that your presence is


your presence is here in the middle of

hurt in the middle of disappointment in

the middle of pain in the middle of

worry in the middle of not understanding

why in the middle of questions in the

middle of lost in the middle of grief


are here i thank you lord god that every

downcast soul every heart that has been

hopeless i thank you that hope is coming

right now in the name of jesus where

they have been bound up lord god by the

fear of the future i thank you that

faith would come right now in the name

of jesus where people have been wearing

armor throughout life lord i pray by

your spirit that you would literally

lord unwrap them lord god and show them

who they really are that they’re not

that hard person that they’re not that

person that has to stay protected lord i

thank you lord jesus that you are

showing people or god where they’ve

labeled things dead where they’ve

labeled things as though it’ll never

work out i thank you lord jesus that you

are producing and putting in them

everything that they need lord god

people who feel like they’re in a messy

place or a painful place lord god i

thank you that your word says that you

are close to the brokenhearted lord god

that you are right in the middle of our

pain lord god that literally lord jesus

the shortest and most powerful scripture

in the bible john 11 35 jesus wept lord

god that shows us that you acknowledge

our pain yet you still on the way to

heal it lord god i thank you lord jesus

that you

would do a work in us here

that you would move here

that you would heal here

that you would give us faith


let my head still bother every eye still


there are some of you

in the honest truth the reason you feel

the way you do here is because you feel

like you’re here by yourself

you need to know that no matter where

here is for you

you’ve never been alone there’s a god

who loves you who cares about you who

has a plan and purpose for your life

and uh it’s not just an idea it’s not a

concept he has a name his name is jesus

and i said it earlier but one of the

descriptions of his name is emmanuel god

with us

you know we’ve been in this series what

i’m hearing here and we’ve talked about

a lot of different things about about

the nature of jesus we’ve talked about

how to silence our inner and external

noise we’ve talked about the beauty of

silence and god trusting us what they’ve

talked about here may be feeling

different but the truth is you won’t

ever be able to hear or feel or have

hope here unless you first accept the

good news what is the good news the good

news is is that there is a god who loves

you so much the bible says that he sent

his only son into this world so that

whoever would believe in him would not

perish but would have everlasting

life you see the good news is that

there’s this thing in the world called

sin what is sin it’s an archery term all

it is everybody gets worried about it’s

a term that simply means to miss the

mark those moments where you feel empty

there’s moments where you feel like

you’re not enough that voice that tries

to tell you you can’t do it there are

things in us that try to steal from us

and that sin but god came and he paid

the price for your sin and for mine so

that you didn’t have to walk hopeless

you didn’t have to walk empty but you

could walk knowing that the same god who

spoke the stars into existence is

standing right next to you today the

hope that you need the healing that you

need the freedom that you need it’s not

found in any amount of money it’s not

found and how much sex you can have or

how many drugs you can take right now in

this moment i promise you everything you

have been looking for is found in the

name of jesus and you don’t have to get

your life together you don’t have to get

out of your current emotions or

situation but you can invite him here

and he will turn that heart of stone

into a heart of flesh he will give you

vision here he will give you hope here

all you have to do is surrender

it’s all you have to do

i’m going to count to the count of three

and if you want to accept jesus into

your life you want to make the decision

to make him your personal lord and

savior on the count of three i want you

to lift your hand when you lift your

hand i believe something’s going to

happen it’s you saying on the outside

that something is happening on the

inside it is a sign it’s a declaration

that you know what the bible says it

this way in romans that he who believes

in his heart and confesses with his

mouth that jesus is lord they shall be

saved you can be saved in this moment

and start the rest of your life with the

with our father and savior jesus on the

count of three if you want to accept him

into your life you feel that that’s not

a funny emotion that’s not weird that’s

the holy spirit drawing you into a

relationship with jesus you want to

accept jesus as your lord and savior i’m

gonna ask you to lift your hands on the

count of three one he loves you two he

is proud of you three lift your hands

right now around the world come on

people are accepting jesus right now

lord i thank you lord jesus come on all

around the world

right now around the world we’re going

to pray this prayer together we’re going

to pray that for the benefit of those

coming to jesus

all in this room and online would

everybody repeat after me say dear god

i love you

thank you

for loving me i admit

i’ve made mistakes

save me

change me

transform me

in jesus name i pray


transformation church could you give it

up for all oh come on

people just gave their life to jesus

hey listen if you just made that choice

that’s the best choice you could ever

make we’re so proud of you if you text

the word save to the number that’s on

your screen we want to send you some

resources and uh i want to encourage

somebody um

if you

find yourself in a place not if here’s

what i want to challenge everybody i’m

going to give you some homework just

making this up right here on the spot

this week i want you to fill in the

blank for yourself


none of these people had this message in

them until they identified here

and i promise you there are some of you

that the moment you feel that here feels

blank but here’s i want you to fill it

out for yourself here feels empty here’s

phil’s full of worry here whatever it is

for you and i promise you god is going

to reveal to you just like he did to

every seven one of these communicators

how here is still holy i want you to

write it down some of you need to talk

to your children about it let this will

be an activity your whole family does

this week acknowledging what does it

feel like at your new school what does

it feel like trying that new and i

promise you the amount of hope that is

going to come when you identify here

it’s going to change everything for you

i want to challenge you with that this

week post it on social media share it in

your belong group share with your

friends i promise you when you

acknowledge here it allows god to show

up hey listen we are so um grateful for

you we’re all so grateful for what god

is doing um in and through your life hey

listen next week we start a brand new

series we start a brand new series

it’s gonna be amazing and uh trust me

you’re gonna invite your friends and

your family we love you so much hey

listen uh we’re grateful for you on

behalf of our lead pastors pastor

michael and natalie todd thank you so

much for being a part of this vision

you’re making a difference around the

world and we get to do it together hey

listen until next time we love you so

much and we want to say go out and live

a transformed life we’ll see you guys