In 2008, 26 yr old model, Katherine Wolf’s, life almost ended after suffering a massive brainstem stroke while her 6 month old son, James, was asleep in the next room. After a 16 hour surgery, she awoke unable to swallow, walk, speak, or see clearly and the chances of survival or recovery seemed impossible; However, she miraculously beat the odds and while Katherine’s physical state will never be quite the same, she has slowly relearned the basic functions of life. Her husband, Jay, has stayed by her side the entire time honoring his commitment to his wife. They’ve since started “Hope Heals,” as self-proclaimed “Missionaries of Hope” sharing the hope of Christ across the country.

have you ever been in somebody’s

presence and literally just being in

their presence heals you in some way it

encourages you or it challenges you or

just lifts your chin a little bit if

you’re discouraged well that happened to

me recently and I didn’t have enough

time to really complete the conversation

with this woman to spend enough time in

her presence and so I’m so excited to be

able to sit down with her today you were

not gonna want to miss this conversation

because I think that even on the other

side of that screen your chin is gonna

be lifted you’re gonna be encouraged

your life’s gonna be changed so stay

tuned for the chat with Priscilla

[Applause]

[Music]

I am glad that you’re here

I’m glad you’re here and honestly I’m

glad to be here because I’ve been dying

to have a deeper conversation with a

young woman that I met we were in a room

gathered with some other folks there was

a big dinner table and she was sort of

on one end I was on the other end and

folks were saying to me you got to meet

Kathryn you got to meet Kathryn and so

eventually I got to meet Kathryn and she

was just filled with light and life and

hope and smile was on her face and just

her presence in a way encourages and

heals and brings hope hope heals that’s

what her life is all about is just

bringing hope and encouragement to

others and I felt that the day that I

met her and here’s the thing before all

of us left that room very first time I

met her someone asked if she would pray

and she prayed and let me tell you

something the presence of God was so

palatable and full and thick in that

room as this woman who’s been through so

much prayed and offered praise and

worship to God that I literally felt

pressed down to my knees just because

the presence of God was there so

powerfully and I thought any woman who

can pray like that I need to talk to you

and so I’m so excited today to be taking

a seat next to this incredible woman

would you all please help me to welcome

miss Katherine wolf to the program today

[Applause]

do you remember do you remember when we

met each other that they do you remember

that yes and then again you spoke a

passion that’s right that’s right so so

twice we’ve been in each other’s

presence but listen that first time I

met you you prayed and there was very

clearly a connectivity between you and

God an intimacy a relationship with you

and God that cannot be forged any other

way than through difficulty that’s the

way it’s been for you literally have a

story to tell a testimony of something

the Lord allowed in your life so tell us

take us back to we can clearly see that

you’ve struggled physically right so

take us back and tell us a little bit of

the story of what happened yeah nutshell

I was 26 years old perfectly healthy no

health issues no medical history nothing

and I had a massive brain stem stroke

out of nowhere due to a birth defect

there ruptured in my brain I never knew

was there and was was knit together in

my mother’s womb into my brain and

exploded when I was 26 years old so tell

us about that day what were you doing

that day where were you what did that

look like yeah it was a normal day

except I felt kind of funny I something

was off I had a headache but I had a

baby

six months before so I thought oh I just

haven’t slept enough and I’m tired I’m

nursing surely it’s nothing and I

started preparing a meal put my baby

down for a nap around lunchtime and I

felt in my hands and knees Jay my

husband miraculously happened to come

home between his final law school class

and I fall to my hands and knees I began

throwing up suddenly realized something

is very off the paramedics come pack me

up on the stretcher he’s able to call

911 I shouldn’t have but just so cool he

was home yeah

and they proceeded to take me away on

that stretcher of my last memories after

wondering if I should grab a toothbrush

or she was like what did I eat yesterday

like these like really hilarious by just

so yeah well thoughts of nothing could

really be wrong I would lose

consciousness as we left in the

stretchered only regained consciousness

two months afterwards so in total I

spent 40 days and ICU which we felt like

was really busy significant that it was

40 days then I would move to a different

part of the hospital for another two and

a half months and then when almost

another year and a half in brain rehab

which is where I centrally relearn to

eat food and walk a little bit which I

think kind of hop all around a bit and

speak and just really regained my life

and from the stroke literally took away

your basic abilities to function

everything in it it’s really um it’s

hard because I’m so I just overjoyed

that you’re like I don’t know where to

look this as they’re sad and yeah why

isn’t she really sad and I am but it’s

hard to not also just be so their

personality also yes a hundred percent

and this there’s just such a deep

gratitude that the worst happened but

you’re still here this is what I would

love for folks to get a picture of

Katherine before the stroke sure because

you were a model but yeah so you you had

aspirations there were things you were

doing there plans that you had so talk

to us a little bit about how long you

been married up until that point what

your aspirations were and so Katherine

before the stroke what did she look like

oh gosh um well it’s quite clueless and

definitely not

wise and seasoned there’s now almost 10

years later but I really from the time I

was a small child had just left with the

Lord which right that right there is no

accident

I really think the reason I was able to

cope with this was because I had a deep

faith fueling my recovery from from the

beginning and in terms of your question

no I was married in just about three

years before this happened I had a baby

and he was 6 months old we had moved

from our homes in Georgia and Alabama to

California where he was going to law

school and I was doing some commercials

and a little bit of print modeling which

is not like modeling like big-time

fashion modeling I was like in the

Target ad and you know McDonald just

like fun crazy newlyweds let me go on

the beach having a blast and just really

loving it and I always loved to say that

we really fund in deeply to our church

we still go to today and on Beller

Church became this hub for when our life

flew up the people of God were there for

us deeply the body of Christ really

surrounded us um and that was pretty

weird given we were like 22 years old

but that voice in our head largely for

my father-in-law couldn’t stop saying

this and we thought at the time it was a

little annoying but he told us to be

sure to plug into a church in California

and um yeah it made all the difference

so when you when you woke up after two

months of being out of it yeah what were

your first those first days of trying to

figure out what had even happened and

missing two months of your son’s life

right so talk to me about what that felt

like to wake up and try to figure out

what in the world went on right so it’s

really difficult because my brain was

too foggy it would take weeks to even

really wrap my mom

Darrell what happened and everything

hurt Omaha Molly and there was this

massive feeding tube and my stomach a

tracheotomy in my neck and I’ve got all

these just weird tubes and people are

coming in and out of hospital room and I

can’t feel my face half of it and it was

awful and yeah it was so much worse than

all of that because they would bring

James in to like visit with mommy for a

few minutes every day so my precious

little sidekick maybe never been out of

my sight for like every day of the six

months of his life is now visiting mom

daily and but you were aware of him

coming in for those few minutes oh I

wasn’t just a where I would obsessively

try to figure out how I could modestly

navigate breast feeding him from the

hospital bed yeah and it didn’t register

that I didn’t do that anymore

so to me I needed to I’m very much like

figure out how to handle that one and it

never registered because that maternal

instinct was like yeah baby God take

care of them and it was horrifying to

learn that I wouldn’t be able to do that

anymore

yeah and so what did the stroke do to

your body in terms of long-term oh well

it may be a little hard to tell now but

I can’t walk very well so I’m in the

wheelchair and my hand does not work

pretty much at all I don’t have fine

motor and can’t control it I actually

had a portion of my brain removed to

save my life so my when when the stroke

happened and there was the brain bleed

they had to remove a large portion of my

cerebellum in my brain to heal me so

it’s really cool because I needed to be

wounded to be healed so I thought like

that is such a beautiful picture that

there was a wounding for there to be a

healing come on girl come on

oh come on well if you want to say come

on girl I should tell you isn’t that

such a beautiful truth in our faith is

it sometimes the healing comes through

the wounding isn’t that wild that God

first season may need to withhold an

order or something to grow and flourish

and that’s the mere start but obviously

as you can see my face is paralysed

which they do have to sever the facial

nerve to cut out the parts where the

blade brain bleed lies and I’m deaf in

this year I see all of you and all of

you up here because I have terrible

double vision permanently they’ve done

three surgeries that aren’t gonna

operate on it anymore it’s just my brain

can’t infuse one image anymore Oh which

is very annoying honestly and the

deafness and wonder is really hard on my

marriage on the slate and yeah there are

I mean I could go on and on but I don’t

think you need the laundry list the body

is totally messed up my spine is pretty

messed up I’m wearing a thermacare back

a path on my back right now cuz I have

chronic lower back pain and you know I I

there’s your whole life mister your

whole life absolutely and yet this earth

suit come on is wasting away do you want

me to share that deep truth of say oh

yeah girl go ahead magic you’re someone

who could handle a little scripture

sighs thinking back on second

Corinthians 4 a beautiful passage I

think it’s 16 17 and 18 that’s it

therefore we do not lose heart though

outwardly we are wasting away inwardly

we are being renewed day after day for

our light and momentary trials are

achieving for us to glory that cannot be

revealed

therefore we fix our eyes not on what

this team but on what is unseen for what

is seen is temporary but what is the

uncertified ternal I love that verse

yeah oh it’s so beautiful yeah yeah oh

Jesus yeah yeah we’re so grateful this

is not our home right this ain’t it you

know someone recently said when you when

you can wrap your mind around the fact

that this is a tent that is deflating

yeah what really is deflating and some

of us just see that with age

John every year goes by and you’re like

good lord what how did that start

hurting well absolutely

yeah I feel like I’m in a 35 year olds

like body in some ways but I’m also in

an 85 year olds body in a lot of ways

until I’m kind of that aging things

happened overnight to me I know and it’s

like 60 50 60 years ahead of what should

be yeah but it’s this beautiful

perspective you know they say suffering

when you’re young really can if you let

it inform your life in this ownable way

cuz you live differently because of what

you doing respective is different

perspective and your ability to like

live out what people would regret not

doing or be you know there’s studies

that say when hospice nurses come you

know write out what are the top five

regrets when people are dying you know

the investment or lack of investment in

a relationship or whatever it is their

commitment to what they love or you know

all these different secular things that

strangely that list and the list of

people who have suffered young and

experienced a phenomenon called

traumatic growth which i think is the

gospel story are the same list yeah that

people live so differently that they

don’t have the same regrets isn’t that

so cool yeah yeah I know yeah wild so

tell me about

mino’ we see the joy okay so we see the

smile on your face we see the joy I want

to know about the anguish of realizing

absolutely basically you are burying the

future as you planned it have you and

your husband have hopes and you’ve got

dreams the family the way you pictured

it how do you keep from being bitter

absolutely I am you know I hate that I

hate that I mean I hate it and I love it

I hate it that there’s so much joy

everything out of me that it almost

feels flippant to talk about my story

and that always makes me nuts but it’s

just the way God wired me we’re so glad

he did awesome it’s awesome it’s also

like there is so much anguish and

suffering and pain in this story that I

hate to ever minimize that but yeah

deeply in me there is a sense of

everything can be taken away but what I

think it’s GK Chesterton says joy the

secret weapon the Christian life is joy

so when there’s a joy it almost

supersedes a lot of the other physical

things but to your question there have

been many many many moments especially

early on why where I wondered if God

made a mistake by leaving me on earth

where I where I wondered could put this

life be the life God intended for me to

be leading which by the way I think

that’s everyone yeah wondering is this a

mistake am I here for a reason to God

intend this story for my life and um a

time and time again God really

encouraged me with the scripture I’d

known honestly a lot of from

times when I was in Vacation Bible

School at six years old that his purpose

was beyond anything I could totally

understand yeah as his sovereignty was

so big and bigger than me but I could

just rest it yeah and there was a deep

peace in knowing that Ephesians 4:1

notion that God was calling me to live a

life worthy of this position I was yeah

there was this element being selected

honestly like chosen to rise up for this

there’s something hard to put into words

but I felt like I I won that somehow

this horrific tragedy and only an upside

down Kingdom kind of way love that

upside down Kingdom absolutely could be

this Avenue for me to the Lord really at

work I and I love that you’re saying

that because you know people’s tragedies

and wounds look different yours looks

this way somebody’s been betrayed in

their marriage you know somebody’s lost

a child and the struggles are on and on

and on health-wise financial devastation

shot salute and we can look at it either

the way the world would look at is this

is horrible Lord why didn’t you just

take me did you did you make a mistake

by not leaving me or the upside down

Kingdom the upside down economy of God

absolutely your I’ve been selected the

Lord has allowed me the privilege to

experience him in a way I would not have

otherwise DEQ’s perience Tim to see the

world through a different perspective I

would not otherwise have and to have the

opportunity to really live the Christian

life to have the Holy Spirit rise up in

me and give me joy and peace that passes

all understanding you know I heard a

missionary say fairly recently that only

in American small groups do people get a

diagnosis and instantly pray I want to

liberate get me healing I gotta get to

back to the good life yeah that’s so

American

us to instantly pay for healing there’s

nothing wrong with that prayer but

that’s always our first response instead

of many other places in the world where

the pair is Lord find me faithful yes

Lord let me point others to you by my

response to this father let me cling to

Christ as I suffer well for your glory

and that is so almost on Western world

unamerican of us that we can’t even wrap

our minds around I’m so devoted to you

Lord that whatever it is let it be yeah

oh so yeah keep touching my mic sorry

it’s okay if I cry with the fake

eyelashes come on I’m really trying to

hold it together oh my gosh a guy likes

you why don’t hold it together you can

cry okay she uses a real serious glue

that won’t let the eyelash absolutely so

I want to know practically what did

either you put in place in your life or

did the Lord put in place in your life

that looking back is really what kept

you from wanting to throw in the towel

cuz there had to have been many many

days weeks and months where I know what

you’re saying about scriptures and joy

and all this great stuff but practically

what did you have to put in place from

keeping yourself from really just kind

of losing it total reality well there

there were a number of things that only

in major retrospect almost 10 years

later can I totally see what’s at work

in my story and I think that’s such an

important point is that no one should

respond to terrible suffering and

tragedy like wake up the next morning

and all as well and life it’s on like we

need time to grieve what to give our

session to do that yes God is saying I

know and I’m there let it rip before him

but don’t let the emotion rule

life I think it’s such a tragedy to

think that the feelings and the emotions

are all there is there’s so much more at

work than that and that was my story

pretty much the earliest moments of

really wrestling with that came November

of 2008 after I’d failed my ninth

swallow test and I think under night say

that again swallow tests I would swallow

take a barium food swallow test to see

if I could swallow again and it had been

over six months and I kept failing them

so you’re eating via feeding to third

person all right i’m jay is pouring

liquid into a tube into my stomach and

I’m living in a rehab facility which is

really really really really really hard

and I remember after that ninth swell of

test J wheeled me back to the house we

were renting and we’re in this big room

and my son James who’s now 1 and J and

the sisters who are in town are playing

with baby James and they’re like picking

him up and funding him down and running

around and I’m kind of watching the

scene in the back of this room and it

just dawns on me

and I’m like oh god made a mistake like

this cannot be what he intended for my

life and my story this this is what

should be and as you’re watching it all

happened and inside of you

I’m in the back of the room in the

wheelchair having failed the nights

Wella test and thinking I’ve never done

that eat again I’m never gonna walk

again and I’m really preventing them

from the life they could have if I were

gone I can actually remember even

thinking that if I were gone

Jake could remarry and if I were gone

James could have a normal mommy and I

remember like it it all made sense you

know like

I’m out of the temperature eventually

everyone’s happy again and I don’t

really know how to put it into words but

somehow the truth of everything I’ve

ever believed every shred of faith every

scripture every weird theological

conversation with some random college

friend whatever equaled this deep

supernatural I feel like yeah totally

cuz that was a little some serious

spiritual warfare of just an

understanding as I guess how you’d say

it that Kathryn and this was from God

but hey I didn’t hear it through him I

heard it through my heart yeah like to

clarify yeah that you may not understand

but this is something I am working here

with you I am allowing into your life

and you cannot see the whole picture but

it’s actually a very beautiful picture

and you get to steward this for life and

I remember really feeling like suddenly

so transformed because I am sitting here

going that I I think I might have to

help myself

like this is I was gonna ask you had you

ever thought that just I never I never

fully gotten to like suicide but I was

dangerously close in that story I just

told when it was probably my lowest but

moment but my my thinking was so this

has to be the end look at this I can’t

even eat food I can’t walk like how

could I go on and yet somehow through

the power of him there was this deep

sense of oh no no you’ve got it totally

wrong

like this wheelchair is actually this

this elevated thing

you don’t see they cannot understand

yeah this is your state of honor truly

yeah and that has stuck ten years later

that’s still how I feel and I have kind

of a strong feeling I’m always going to

have that awareness that like yeah your

life is different but that does not mean

it’s not a beautiful life and American

women hello

that’s all of our story the picture

looks different than we thought it would

but that doesn’t mean is it such a

beautiful story that can give God the

glory it’s so true so sure we’re trying

desperately to instill in our kids this

notion that even growing up as Christian

kids in the 80s was not really a message

we were hearing a lot maybe you you

didn’t hear either that God made you to

do the hard thing in the good story he’s

riding in your life like I never

understood like hard can be part of the

good story yeah yeah they’re not

opposites good and hard are not mutually

exclusive good and hard coexist so

beautifully and that is the Christian

life

Jesus hello and yet like no worries no

one talks about that because if these

are like sunshine and cupcake Jesus or

it’s like hell and damnation is Satan

but it’s totally like the convergence

that is so powerful Jesus did die he did

the hard thing right and I might add was

in a old dark scary cave for three days

in darkness and then rose again with

scars in his hands all of that is not

part of our picture of Jesus like

suffering death dark cave right

again with scars like I didn’t really

internalize all of that truth even

though I knew it from the age of like

five yeah like we don’t we need that

sorry mark spread the word people need

to know we have a suffering Savior who

was in a lot of darkness and emerged I

think it’s not as can I keep talking

girl please get off I think Barbara

Vaughn Taylor shares a beautiful quote

in her book on darkness where she says

new life always starts in the dark

whether it’s a baby in the womb no no

whether it’s a seed in the ground a baby

in the womb or Jesus in the tomb new

life always starts in the dark how how

credible is that yeah they quote I took

the credit I didn’t say it but I it’s so

true yeah it is so true and you don’t

even know why I’m up here cuz we could

just listen to you oh whatever

seriously the hope the encouragement

that you bring to all of us because

really seeing you puts everybody’s it

closes other people’s mouths that are

complaining about things they have no

business complaining about

but we all complained about stuff we

have no business complain well listen

I’m doing that too I’m complaining about

stuff I don’t need to complain about and

pain is pain yeah matter of somebody’s

marriage is falling apart or their

bodies are falling apart or they have no

money in their bank at all it’s all it’s

all like this yeah we all have suffering

and guides to me you’re you’re a hero to

me but do you know who is a hero to me I

can imagine I that’s the same as me I

guess you can see there Corrie ten Boom

here’s I save I love CTB or Johnny

Erickson tada J et is another one of my

favorites in the whole world which one

neither no no I love all of these ladies

I’ll just mention they are champions to

me but the hero in this story that I

cannot wait to talk to you

Oh

not I can’t what your husband absolutely

no we’re gonna do just that

I want you to know before we kind of end

part one and go on to part two you’re

gonna want to make sure you tune back in

because Jay is going to be sitting here

she and her husband are a beautiful

picture Catherine her husband a

beautiful picture of Christ’s love for

the church him pouring himself out for

her and the choices that Jay had to make

in all of this the the firm footing that

he had to be for his family not

perfectly but purposefully I want to

hear from a guy like that there are

marriages falling apart for a lot lesser

issues than this one that we’ve had a

picture of today so I can’t wait to hear

from Jay and we’re gonna have him up

here in just a few moments but first

would you guys just help me to say thank

you to Catherine

[Music]