Dr. Lois Evans sits down with her daughter Chrystal Hurst and Priscilla Shirer to discuss leaving a legacy of faith. Tune in as they answer questions submitted by audience members at their home church, Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship.

you know there are quite a quite a few

things one of the most important I think

is dinner at our table that doesn’t

happen every night it might only be two

or three nights a week but I’m fighting

for it I’m fighting for I’m gonna

actually make dinner and we are going to

sit down at this table I don’t care if

you like the food or not you’re eating

what’s on the plate and and we’re going

to talk and and now looking back I

recognize how much of an intentional

choice that had to be for my parents

with the four of us with all of our

activities and all of that to pre-plan

actually a meal you know that means

you’ve had to think about what we’re

gonna cook here and and and what’s gonna

be on the table and then making it

intentional for us to have conversation

around that table so that’s something

that now that my kids are in getting in

their teenage years now they’re my older

two or teenagers it’s a fight it’s a

struggle to maintain that so that’s one

thing that we do and I mean literally I

could I could name a list of things I’ll

just say one more but one of the things

we always did at Christmastime was my my

mother would always and my father would

choose a family that was in need and at

Christmas time we would go shopping for

that family so the four of us would take

the kids we would shop for them and then

my parents would make sure the parents

were taken care of and then we would go

over there and drop off the gifts and

meet the family and my mom and dad would

just love on that single mom or the mom

and father and and we would give them

gifts and so we do that same thing that

exact same thing now I will you know

call the church and find out what family

can we just sow into this season and we

do that so there are a lot of little

habits like that they’re just sort of

are things that are a part of the fabric

of our family and I realize now you know

looking back I thought that’s just what

we that’s just what families do but

really it was their choice and their

continued commitment year after year

night after night to to make those

things feel like they were just regular

things but now I realize it was very

intention that’s a lot of dishes you


it’s a lot of dishes let me just add to

that but to keep them engaged all year

in the end result of giving to a family

we had you guys give out of your

allowance all year long we had a box of

the kitchen and they gave 10% of the

little bit we gave them to this box that

then became two gifts the family at the

end of the year you remember that yeah

on that same note verse all I want to

ask you what legacy mom has left and is

still leaving with you as it relates to

you not necessarily even that you pour

out to your family the example of family

but just watching mom and how she’s

related in her life personally whether

that’s ministry whether that is taking

care of herself what have you learned

about just living in your skin from

watching mom living hers well I think

I’ll name something that I think is a

positive part and then I’ll name a

negative part and I shouldn’t say

negative cuz it’s really not negative

but it’s something I think if my mom

gets real

yeah I think if you had to go back you

might do it a little differently from

what I’ve heard you say so you can

correct me if I’m wrong the positive one

is anybody who is known you know my mom

for any length of time you know that she

literally always looks exactly like this

so if she’s going to the grocery store

or making a quick run Miss America yeah

I mean we remember being little girls

just looking at her like are you for

serious you just go into 7-eleven she

just she took great great pride in

looking a certain way being modest

taking her care of her body I love to

ride my bike so much right now make my

teenage son still get on their bike and

ride with me because my mom used to ride

her bike and we’d ride our bikes with

her you know and she was you know her

and my dad would exercise and as the

seasons changed they changed the way I

remember you jogging and trying to keep

up with y’all you know in the


as seasons change you stop jogging but

you’re still walking you’re still going

to the gym mom still hikes now you know

and so there was there is a level of

modesty in dressing and also just care

of her body and her appearance that just

rubbed off on me without me even real

buff on me yes it did

yes it’s Lois Evans would never show up

and anything that was wrinkled for sure

I’m sure that never happens

never that’s okay I’m still I’m still

learning the legacy is still dripping

over here but I mean I’m a little more

Lois II even you guys say that I’m a

little more Lois II I just got that like

like we didn’t we often show up places

and we have on almost the exact same

thing you called me this morning like

what do I wear and I was like I said you

were telling me what you were wearing I

was like just take it down Lois just

take it down just a little bit yeah she

that was in full Lois regalia early this

one and my sister said I don’t know what

you have on but come down to the Family

Life Center so that and you got yeah she

got it from her grandmother I mean her

mother and grandmother and yeah yeah

that’s true um then the negative thing I

hate using that word cuz that’s not

really negative but I think my mom in

her early 20s and going into her 30s

with the church being really young and

small you know over in this building

right next door to us and then in this

room right here man when I walked in

this room y’all I just had all the

anybody have any flashbacks when you

started walking into the screw we’re

just having Church in here rolling out

the carpeting and rolling up the carpet

you know

diss memories in this building but I

think in a lot of those early years my

mom gave herself away in a way that

looking back now she probably would not

have and what I mean is it’s it’s just

she’s in this bubble of being a pastor’s

wife which means everybody’s got these

expectations they’re piling on her of

what they think she should wear and what

kind of pastor’s wife they think she

should be and she’s supposed to lead the

choir and play the piano and support her

husband and be the leader of women’s

ministry and she’s got all that going on

and four kids and she’s trying to raise

all of us and all of that and I think

there is a way that maybe you were spent

in looking back that she would say to us

you know what what feeds you do that

don’t don’t stop doing the thing that

feeds you because you’re trying to pour

into your kids and pour into your

husband and support all of us do all of

those things but look in the mirror and

ask yourself okay now what do you need

and I think in a way that my mom didn’t

do that enough in her 20s and 30s and so

there was a level of just plain old

flat-out tired that I think reached Lois

Evans and and I think that’s something

that you’ve said to us is make sure you

don’t give yourself away that much so I

appreciate I appreciate that lesson that

I learned you know from your life so so

I would like to know I would like to

know and you kind of mentioned a little

bit I’m just in your and your mom and

grandma and your great-grandmother

granny and how that affected how you

step out but what do you think is the

biggest lesson you learned from your mom

and your grandmother Wow oh I saw from

my grandmother and mother was commitment

faithfulness even as I grew up as a

teenager I saw the hard times I wanted

my mother to run away from home because

I was the third child my sister’s here

today I was a church house so I was

involved in helping mom with eight of us

and so I saw somebody that had little

say to me with her hand in her hip

Lois I’m doing this for the Lord’s name

sake because sometimes it was just too

hard and too unbearable and so I watched

that but what again what I saw in my mom

was she was not gonna leave like I

wanted her to because she was a child of

the King and she saw it in her mother

they had hard times when my grandmother

was a single parent for a long time

she lost grandpa when she was a young

woman she decided not to marry again so

they lived in housings you call it

projects today I’m sure she collected

checks from the government to make it

but there was always something on the

stove a smell really good and so again

that’s what I saw commitment

stick-to-it-ness not living with failure

all there was all around them just

persisting and then I heard my mother’s

words I’m doing this for the Lord’s

name’s sake so when challenging times

came in my life yes and I was spent many

many times I kept going because of what

I saw my grandmother and my mother and

that is you stick the course Lewis you

stay the course because it’s not all

about you it’s about representing him

the one who has all power and it’s

capable to keep you and so even today

you know you caught you probably caught


scenario which is not really

true cuz I got a key wait a minute I

don’t know what got me I come on empty

nesting maybe cuz you guys live here I

don’t know what that is but you always

have something good on the stove thank


if even it’s just soup you know even

though supposedly it’s an empty nester

type of situation I still hear hear the

voice of my grandmother and my mother

Lois keep going keep going

it’s not about use for general about

generations to come lay that legacy lay

that plan let them actually see you

model what you really believe and you

and I you know in this generation we

have so much available to us compared to

my grandmother and mother and even me I

mean you guys got you guys got Amazon

you told me you drive up to Walmart and

they put the groceries in your car yeah

you go order them online yes you have

all these resources available to you but

I know I know life is busy I know life

is unbearable I know I know

you know I really do live in the real

world pastors wives do live in the real

world but with all of that you’ve got to

remember who’s you are though you’re a

woman of God and you got to claim that I

am a woman of God and everything the

Lord has his power is that resurrection

power you have and so when times get

difficult and it’s challenging you want

to throw your hands up even though you

have Amazon and iPads and all this stuff

all these berries and strawberries and

blueberries and you want to throw your

hands up you have to look in the mirror

like Don Lawrence says and talk to

yourself and tell yourself who you are

you are the head you are not the tail

I was just gonna I wasn’t gonna echo

that a little bit by telling you guys

I’m gonna try not to cry because y’all I

think I’m in pink I’m in perimenopause

so everything makes me cry right now in

my life but when I was putting on this

bracelet this morning this is my

grandmother’s bracelets my mom’s mom’s

bracelet we all have several pieces of

my grandmother’s jewelry on both sides

and I was putting this on this morning

and to me you know I was just thinking

about the that that this represents

physically what legacy is metaphorically

because really it’s holding on to

something long enough that you can hand

it to somebody else that’s coming after

you it’s it’s valuing something enough

that you don’t just you don’t just

casually have it for a couple years and

then get rid of it you just you you keep

it closed and then decades later

somebody else is taking it into their

life like it’s brand-new and I thought

about that that that what my mom did and

what my grandmother did just put one

foot in front of the other every day

there were choices there were integrity

there were intentional decisions they

were making and they just held on to it

long enough that it could catch on to

some people coming behind them and so

I’m watching Karras now having my

parents great-grandchildren and I was

thinking this morning how beautiful that

before any of us were even here my mom

and father were praying about their

children their grandchildren and their

great-grandchildren and they’re

literally now sitting back watching

their prayers like you know I said to

Kharis the other day I don’t I don’t

think you realize that because you’re

just in the middle of your life you’re

married three years having your children

you you don’t realize that you’re

actually the fulfillment of promises

prayers that were prayed before we even

got here now mom and dad are sitting

back watching God answer their prayers

as their great-grandchildren run around

so it’s just holding on to something

long enough that you get to pass it on

pass it along let me just mention you

need people in your life okay

don’t try to live like a lone ranger

it’s not life is not meant to be that

way I think that’s what we have life on

life here and gather the girls and free

at last classes and I know our church is

very big but please find if even is just

one person to help you in this journey

because it is a journey and you need

people in your life to make it happen I

know we’ve got a lot of private people

in the room that you know don’t want

anybody to know your business well pray

and ask pray and ask God for one person

that you feel confident in to hold your

hands up in in those difficult times all

right you talked about prayer and I know

that there are many women who here who

are single or may not have children and

I’m talking about legacy has passed from

mother to daughter while we all have

mothers what would we say to someone who

is single with no children in terms of

their ability to leave a legacy now I’m

really gonna cry because I’m looking

into the audience and I just smiled over

at Janet a few minutes ago Janet Gadsden

whose maiden name was Perry used to

stand on this exact stage and sing

beautiful solos and lead the choir and

Janet when I think about Janet and L

Freda and this whole pool of women that

when I was 10 and 11 and 12 and 13 they

were in their 20s and 30s and I it

occurred to me it cursed me now cuz I

thought it was so regular but I used to

spend time with Janet like like we were

just buddies you know what I mean like

she used to have me up under her I would

be sitting with her at church and then

she’d take me out to eat or I’d just be

with her and I realize now that when

you’re 30 or 29 and you’re living your

life and you’re single to make time for

a 12 year old is a joy you were deciding

I’m gonna I’m gonna put my mark on this


because really 25 year olds 26 year olds

they’re too busy for that they’re in

their self focused so now I look back on

that Janet I mean I look back on that

and I’m just so grateful that you spent

so I just want to say for single women

thank you girl


I mean seriously that was a big deal I

remember conversations we had I remember

things that they said to me and uh joy

you know I remember el Freda going on a

trip with me el freedom a kiln ow she

went we went on a trip to Haiti on a

missions trip I mean we had to like this

is a lot of information but they didn’t

have a lot of hot water and stuff we had

to take showers like at the same time

together to have enough hot water and

all that stuff you know what I mean just

we had to share food yes a lot of

information but um but my point is my

point is I was all up in their lives you

know what I mean just and they did life

with me and they made it they would I

just realized the intentionality of it

now but it wasn’t an accident that they

were choosing to let me in and so and

I’m trying not to cry but I want to say

thank you too because it you know we

used to say that second in the secular

world takes a village to raise a family

and so that takes family and family of

God so I want to thank you wherever

you’re sitting in this room for your

investment you made in Priscilla’s life

because that Haiti trip has changed your

life I think you’re still supporting one

of the ladies is she a nurse now you

when you were leaving Haiti there was a

girl that pierced into the window you

couldn’t as you were leaving the car was

driving off and this young girl was just

following the car and Priscilla came

back home and she said mom I’ve got to

find that girl and I think you were

invested in her life she’s a nurse now

and things like that so the missions

trip changed Priscilla’s life so thank

y’all for taking showers with her and

speaking into her life I really

appreciate that

the imagery of that is a little

frightening but

but thank you thank you very much and I

mean that from the depths of my heart so

if you’re a single I think that was the

question you you look around the room

you’ve got family members

you’ve got members of the body of Christ

you’ve got single parents that are

struggling to raise their children that

needs someone else in their life I just

get involved in in in ministry and

investing in people’s lives you know so

that’s what I would share there’s always

something to do in ministry people ask

me what should I sign up for

sign up just to do ministry just look

it’s right there that’s great it is so

great what are some things with some 127

y’all I know it’s 9:30 can we go for 10

more minutes is that okay you’ve got to

leave but we want to ask these two last

questions Psalm 127 says that children

are a gift how have you gone about

unwrapping your gifts and stirring them

up unwrapping the gifts and your

children and stirring your gift so

they’re your children how have you stir

those up it’s really taking that

statement literally when I see when I’m

pregnant like my granddaughter I just

think it’s such a blessing because it’s

a gift how do you treat gifts how do you

wrap gifts carefully attend the loving

care some of us even reuse the wrap

because it’s so pretty

how are the decorations on the under

wrapping so you take your time with each

kid now are you gonna do it perfectly

let me release myself and y’all I don’t

know if any perfect parenting

I know if parents that are really trying

hard to do what God has told to do

reading James Dobson’s books and now

Tony Evans books and trying to do it

really right but I know for me in the

back of my head it was always the Lord

didn’t have to give me these gifts and

he did now how do I we were unwrapped

them woof that’s a lifetime even now

that you guys are growing I’m still

unwrapping it

but it’s got to be careful because the

scripture says that train up the child

in the way that they should go you can’t

figure that out just looking at that

baby in the crib it’s a kind of an

everyday situation trying to figure it

now what is this kid gonna do with their

lives and why is this kid acting this

way how do I discipline this kid

differently from how a different

discipline this one it’s it’s work

parenting is work it’s a full-time job

and that’s what you need the Lord’s help

to do it and people in your circle

Christian Circle Family Circle that help

you I know that to mama had a lot to do

in your life and I was so blessed by

that because I unwrapped it as much as I

could and to Mama’s stepped in at a

wonderful time and I knew that she was

talking to her grandmother I was like

praise God I got some help going on

unwrapping the package here and now I

found out you had wonderful women in

your life unpacking the package here so

it’s just full time and you’ve got to

accept that even though you have to work

because some of you I know I have to

take care of your family the only one

bringing in a resource every chance you

get be vulnerable and look at your kids

and let them know tired you are but when

I you said I didn’t cry too much though

but that’s just how I’m made up and when

you need to cry but stuff ready to cry

buy stuff go ahead and cry buy stuff let

your kids know that you weren’t able to

do this you weren’t able to do that be

vulnerable in front of them as you try

to unwrap the package because I know

your lives are very very full but the

bottom line for me is bottom line

principle is try your best to do it

God’s Way

you got it look look you gotta stand

your knees this is not easy you know I

had Tony Evans to help me and I looked

at him many times I said brother you got

because we live across the street I said

you got the

across the street it’s time for ministry

over here because yes I came many times

to wit’s end now how do you discipline

this one 100 you say to this one I said

you got to come home and and and so I’m

talking real because I know it’s tough

even though there might be a husband in

a home it’s tough in us saying either

way it’s tough to unwrap the gifts God’s

given you when you’re trying to figure

it out yourself now so you gotta sting

in these get people in your life and

thank the Lord for the family of God and

the family that you have and use it all

don’t wrap the package I wanted to just

piggyback on what my mom is saying by

also saying that I just encourage you

though those of you who have problem

children I was very much my parents

problem child of the four of us I mean I

got in trouble day after day we if

somebody needed to be grounded or

spanked it was probably me on a

continual basis I was the rebellious one

I was the one that was lying about the

fact that I did or did not do that I was

the one even when I was little getting

in trouble for class for too much

talking I mean I was just a spirited

thing that just was you know they they

had their work cut out with with me and

I’m saying that to say when mom I’m

sitting here listening mom talk about

unwrapping gifts and I’m thinking about

sometimes your gift really the gift

really does look like a problem at first

and so you have to what my parents did I

remember when I would get in trouble for

talking in class my I would be in

trouble because I had disobeyed the

parent I mean that the teacher and so I

would have to get a spanking or whatever

but then there was always a conversation

about my ability to communicate I will

never forget that my dad would always

you know after we dealt with the issue

and I need to be obedient class there

was always conversations about

communication with me my dad was all

remember going into college he would say

you know what I really think you should

major in communications he connected me

he connected me specifically with people

who were in the communications industry

to sit and have relationship with some

of the women that influenced me and my

single years were people that my dad

said hey that person right there is

doing probably some of what you might be

doing in the future so at the same time

of seeing and something that needed to

be molded it wasn’t just all a problem

it was we got to harness this but and

you have to be disciplined for it cuz

you have to submit it it needs to be

obedient you need to to mold it but at

the same time there’s something

beautiful in there let’s find that so

I’m grateful for that you know what I

mean so if you have a problem child ask

the Lord to help you to see the problem

through his lenses that there might be

something in that that actually is what

what he’s created them for and all this

just add this little tip on there you

know the Bible says that the power of

life and death is in the tongue and

there are some things that your kids may

not see and that you may not even see to

its full fruition but you can still call

it out and I think one of the things our

parents did very well kind of Priscilla

was saying they called out what they saw

like even if they didn’t know exactly

how it was gonna be used they always

said you know what this is the tendency

I see in you and these are the things

God could do with that so we weren’t

starting from nothing we had words

reverberating in our head of what we

could accomplish and so I just think the

power of speaking life as a power that

you have to unwrap the gift even when

you’re not sure how you’re going to use

it or how it’s going to be used yes yeah

and you said it I just want to repeat it

again though crystal the power of the

tongue is very very important

speak life now that you not do with

reality because we you know you had the

reality check checks and reality talks

but you need to speak life into your

life and to the lives of those around

you proverbs 18 2021 speak like so write

that down

and start practicing to speak life even

when life is tough and I keep saying

that I’m watching you and I know we all

have life in this world you will have

tribulation but the goes on to say what

you and I are overcomers but you only

know your overcomer if you speak it to

yourself you can hear a sermon every

week and we hear good ones here at OU

see mbf but even i the pastor’s wife

have to go home and speak life into me

you can take a lot of notes go ahead and

take your notes go yes

applaud all of that life in life all the

Bible studies we have here all the

things we offer you this church but if

you don’t go home and you’re quiet quiet

moments when you want to throw your

hands up and walk out on that marriage

walk out on them kids and act like I

like Bill Cosby said you wanna you want

him to play on the freeway sometimes

your kids

Bill Cosby said it not law sevens and

it’s tough for you to sometimes prepare

in a spaghetti meal look I’m not talking

to real real women so in the myths I

remember one time crystal I I came to

the end of my day I think I had Jonathan

as the baby I looked in the bassinet and

there was John John and I sat by the bad

stool and literally put my hands down

and said I can’t do any more I don’t

know what they’re gonna eat tonight

because I couldn’t I didn’t have the

energy to go up the street to minyard’s

to get dinner in the house I remember

that yes I remember how basically how

tired I was because I must have been up

that night but Jonathan the baby

whatever I just remember I was tired and

I knew there was nothing to eat for

dinner but I

put my hands down I called across the

street Tony Evans you need to come home

you need to come home well no no no run

to the grocery store and get something


something green that’s it broccoli and

spaghetti because I can’t I can’t move I

don’t have any energy to move so I know

I’m talking to women that are dealing

with real situations like that you know

I made it through I started writing

verses on three by five cards in those

days we didn’t have iPads and iPhones

that you could talk to now I do talk to

the memo I started writing Bible verses

down and I had them in places that I had

quiet and that was the kitchen sink and

one of my other favorites places was the

bathroom and so what I’m saying to you

is I started speaking to myself to make

it in life I’d pick up those scriptures

and read it that you can make it don’t

be anxious just trust the Lord he’s in

control I read it to myself so became

like Psalms one says a part of who I the

Holy Spirit’s blood stream in my life

who I was and after a while I didn’t

need the 3×5 cards if even I had to put

my hands down because I was tired I

still knew that I could get up and I

could make it because he’s got all

things in control so I’m telling you

what I’ve experienced speak life to

yourself a lot of us can spout life to

other people we know Bible verses coming

from here to there but we don’t speak

those theirselves so are we going

through challenges all right so I’m

gonna repeat it again speak life to you

do it in whatever way you can in the

good times the bad times and the

difficult times speak life because I

think the Holy Spirit then kicks in when

you speak his word he kicks in and takes

care of business

all right ladies leave today and speak

life and listen and I know it’s done

it’s all done you’re the first lady you

could take it long I listen I’m getting

ready to say something you need to be

very very careful with it we’re supposed

to okay y’all might have to help me the

wording they’re very words they’re like

their dad I just blurt it out you have

to watch who you’re hang with okay

the Bible says we need to love everybody

and that means do good for every one of

the saints or people that even you come

in contact with and that’s what we’re

doing as a church right you’re going to

the bookstore and you pick up this card

and we do good for people but when it

comes to enhancing your life your

spiritual growth and changes you on in

your life you choose who you hang close

to because you want them to be one with

reality yeah but you want to speak life

to you know Lois you can make it I know

it’s challenging and we heard from the

gentleman what they need from us and on

and on but you need somebody you can

call okay we call on the Lord first but

but he’s provided flesh and blood for us

to talk to but make sure the person

you’re hanging with is not telling you

girl if I were you I’d leave him girl if

I were you I’d feed them kids every day

pop pop something some tart or something




and nothing wrong pop-tarts Krystal but

not everyday so you need people in your

lives you might even have girlfriends

that know you had a busy day and they

dropped by with something from Panera

Bread or rubies or something you know

something else these so my point for

saying that is my point for what I’m

trying to say is you need somebody in

life that’s speaking life and promoting

your growth in the Lord on that note I

want to I want to share one thing

because it was a question and I’ll just

answer it and also share some other

things too to emphasize the point you

just made one of the things it’s very

exciting for me and I know it’s exciting

for Priscilla as we talked about it is

that we are friends one of the questions

was what do you all do together and we

do stuff together

my mother will call and say I’m headed

to the movies with you or without you

are you coming it’s a twofer I’m going

movies back to back are you wanting to

join and worse you do the same thing

you’re like girl I just left them with

dinner I’m headed to the movies are you

coming on Mike hold on let me check with

Jesse so we we do things together and

it’s really a privilege to say that your

mom and your sister are your friends and

to your point about finding people who

can speak into your life I will call my

mom and know probably what she’s already

going to say even though I need to hear

her say it the same thing with Priscilla

you call me I call you because we just

need to yes hear someone who understands

but also to know that someone who’s

going to speak into our lives is going

to speak truth into our life and I know

that many of you because I’ve heard you

are struggling to find that connection

and I want you to channel I want to

challenge you just like mom said earlier

to look for it and if you try to find it

in ministry or in small group or in a

Bible study and it’s a Miss the first

time don’t give up because you need

community you let me you me Jesus is God

and came to earth and when it was time

for him to live as an adult he

Frantz he found friends the disciples

were his friends so look for community

and make the time for community because

it is in community whether it’s family

or church or your small group or your

Bible study that you are lifted up and

encouraged to live the life and leave

the legacy that God wants you to leave