Priscilla Shirer and her mother, Lois Evans, join Laurie Crouch on TBN’s Praise. Listen as they discuss the different challenges that come along with raising children in the midst of today’s world; speaking about ways on how God has gifted and trusted you in your role as a parent. This video was brought to you by TBN Networks®. SUBSCRIBE here and never miss an upload! https://www.youtube.com/c/PraiseTBN/?… WATCH full Praise episodes for free on the TBN app: https://watch.tbn.org/praise
NEED PRAYER? TBN’s Prayer Partners would love to pray with you and are available 24/7: 714-731-1000 (U.S. and Canada) and +1-714-731-1000 (International). On the air since 1973, TBN’s flagship ministry and talk show Praise is one of the most recognizable — and most watched — Christian programs in the world. Taped before a live audience and hosted by TBN’s own Matt and Laurie Crouch along with other popular personalities, Praise features the best in contemporary Christian music and worship, fresh and impacting ministry voices, engaging interviews from a wide variety of guests, and a fast-moving hour of relevant talk you won’t want to miss! #praise #tbn #priscillashirer #family #children 0:00 Intro 0:27 Being a Parent is a Blessing 3:10 God Will Use You as a Parent 11:25 The Distraction of Technology 21:23 Know Your Children’s Gifting 32:50 Be Honest With Your Kids 39:27 Discipline for Your Children 49:09 A Prayer For You
if you’re on the other side of raising
your children and you feel maybe a
little discouraged because you’re
looking back and you’re thinking man
there’s so many things i would have done
differently well welcome to the club
there are so many things that all of us
as parents look back and would have done
differently but it’s okay because the
holy spirit’s got you covered there’s
grace and mercy that is sufficient for
all of our weaknesses and our
shortcomings and our frailty and i’m so
grateful for that for my own life and
i’m grateful for that for yours as well
this is a very special day this is our
mother’s day special and my name is lori
crouch i’m here with my dear friend
priscilla shire her precious mom miss
lois evans
thank you for being here what are we
getting into tonight well we’re going to
travel we need to we need to get into
trouble of course yes then we wouldn’t
be having fun if we did right but we got
to celebrate motherhood and also i think
cheer on some moms in the journey
because sometimes when you’re just in it
you need somebody to cheer you on and
say you’re okay you’re doing a good job
you know i just um i feel a little alone
over here and i’m not using it it’s okay
this is my little co-host my beautiful
co-host tonight and we’re gonna put you
on the hot seat tonight is that all
right with you well i actually think
that both of you have a whole lot to
offer you’ve raised children that are
out of the nest and so there are a lot
of moms who are coming along like myself
i still got three boys in the house big
old giant yes man children
and um you know i think you have a lot
to offer for folks who are in the
trenches of it to tell them the beauty
of motherhood that they might not see
right now because they’re changing 800
dirty diapers a day right yeah but they
need to know that there’s good stuff in
all of that and treasures to take out so
i think i think you’ve got something
yeah too miss laurie well i do have two
beautiful slimes yeah
but they’re thankfully out of diapers
now yeah i’ve been there for a while but
you know i i tell priscilla when i
listen to her speak and you know i i
look up youtube and i just watch and
every time i see you minister i want to
just hear more and it makes me wish i
would
hear every word that you speak from the
platform she’s just that powerful and if
you ever ever need a word from the lord
just log onto tbn
look her up go to youtube and you got
some good things inside of you and i
know where it comes from
yeah thank you you can’t deny it miss
mama evans and you know i was we were
talking a while ago i asked uh miss lois
i said do you do you speak much and she
said only when the lord
only when the lord tells you to yes so
is she is she a mother of not many words
i would say that not many words publicly
so my mom has been sort of behind the
scenes individual as dad my dad is dr
tony evans yes he is you know he’s got
the small little fledgling ministry
he’ll be somebody someday
just pray for him
but you know they’ve been faithfully
pastoring the same church
that they started when i was one that
myself and my siblings still attend to
this day but they started that church
you know 43 years ago yes so um there
there has to be a very strong committed
faithful person who doesn’t necessarily
isn’t necessarily the person that’s in
the pulpit or you know underneath the
spotlight but that’s just consistent
and faithful so that’s been my mom not
only with the church but with the
national ministry the urban alternative
it’s my mom who was back there making
all those engines
run and just making the the ministry
work and move forward
so um it’s just been in the last maybe
decade that that every now and then when
someone has invited her to speak she
said okay i’ll go but for a lot of years
you just were with us at home is what
you were doing raising kids that’s right
because i really felt that was my
calling yeah that was my ministry yeah
and i had to mentor my life my mother
she went home to be with the lord two
years ago she was 97. oh my goodness and
she looked at me one day as i was just
trying to make everything happen and
work because we started our church in
her home
and she said to me lois
this is your church
and i never forgot it so i buckled in
and took care of my church my ministry
my four children
and the ministry god’s called us to and
i thank the lord my husband is a very
smart man yeah
he knows that my background is business
so i help him to start the church
and as priscilla mentioned start the
engine of the urban alternative which is
our media ministry and then start a
ministry for pastor’s wife so yes i’ve
been behind the scenes but i feel
really grateful
that i stayed in my gifting yeah and my
if i could use the term my grid my path
your lane my god my lane yeah that god
has called me to be a part of but these
children
are my where my ministry because they’re
gifts from the lord you know
yeah i think it’s so great to hear that
actually because
i think one of the hard parts about
being a a mom of children right now is
that there seems to be this uh message
that’s purported that if you’re just
doing the motherhood thing that you’re
missing out on something you’re supposed
to be doing some worldwide ministry as
well as mothering your children and so
those that have chosen to just stay home
in some ways i feel like it’s easy to
feel a bit deficient or a bit like
you’re not actually doing all that god
has called you to do and i i think that
that’s a that’s um
not not necessarily the the right
message that needs to be
extended to people i don’t either you
know my dad used to i was raised in a
pastor’s home and
he always talked about the the family
being the church in in miniature you
know and if it didn’t work there you’re
going to have a hard time working
anywhere else if it didn’t work in your
home yeah wow you know and that that was
the ministry and i know priscilla you’re
you
we all love to sit and minister to
people and we love to be about the
father’s business but that business is
in the home just as much as it is on the
outside this is our privilege to do to
raise our kids yeah you know and and
do you think it’s harder in this world
today to raise children than it than it
used to be
i i really think so because
there’s so many
things that could distract your kids
from the path you want them to walk on
because of technology so i think it’s
harder
you know i used to be able to let my
kids walk to the library right now with
their culture today i have to take my
grandkids to the library i can’t have
them walk and we live just a block from
the library but i don’t feel it’s a safe
environment and that type of thing so
yes i think it’s harder it takes more
time takes more investment
it takes more work yeah
and i would agree i would agree with
that because of the technology aspect i
think that that as as my mom mentioned
the fact that we did not have that as a
distraction we had the privilege growing
up of being bored sometimes
i think we have robbed from our children
the glorious gift of boredom because
imagination and creativity sparks from
being bored
and so i’m having to work so hard our
oldest son just got a um a phone and
he’s 15 years old
and you know me and my husband went back
and forth about when that should be
right the reality is we do live in a
technological culture so it is what it
is we can’t just you know keep them
shielded from it completely because it’s
our culture but at the same time
uh we are we are having to wrestle
against this
consistent influx of of of information
and
brain numbing activities that are
available to all of us i mean let’s be
honest it’s just the kids
yep my phone
by the way she’s the only one with an
iphone on the set
so to all of us yeah you’ve got the
bible
thank you thank you
but it is a
it’s a struggle and and pulling it out
of their hands and saying no actually
we’re going to sit around the dinner
table
and we are going to talk to each other
right not text each other we’re actually
going to talk to each other right and
the reason why that’s important to me is
because that’s what we did growing up so
we had four of us there were four of us
and all different activities that we
were in sure but my mom and dad were
very now i realize intentional yes it’s
the only way it happens is if you’re
intentional
intentional about putting us around the
table yeah and that’s where we would
spend time together as a family other
places as well but we were going to have
dinner together yeah didn’t happen every
night of the week but it was it was a
consistent effort on mom’s part to
actually cook something yeah and us sit
down at the table and eat it together
and that’s where we
talked that’s where we had family
devotions that’s where we found out what
was happening in their day yeah we
learned a lot about them and they
learned a lot about us yeah you know
they actually got involved in
how much ministry we did
in the different seasons in our lives
they would actually tell us you guys are
gone too much yeah but but
around the dinner tables where we heard
what was happening in our kids lives and
their hearts yeah you know like anthony
our son
we learned that we couldn’t just tell
him the day before that we were leaving
for africa
and we thought we were doing that was
wise because he was he’s a sensitive
child and we thought don’t give him this
information two weeks out let’s just do
it the day before but we learned at the
dining room table that anthony needs to
know a year out
yes so the dining room table was very
important for us yeah to learn so is
that lost on this this generation i
think so i think they’re eating along
the television or i saw a commercial
laurie recently yeah where families were
sitting eating dinner
like we’re sitting today
but they’re all over there they were all
on their iphones talking to each other
oh my goodness literally communicating
sitting together by the iphone so i
think it has to be intentional that we
put the phones away whatever and sit
someplace where we really listen to each
other and talk to each other and and
meal planning doesn’t have to be huge
because women are busy today yeah so
many of them have to be in the
marketplace
uh helping to support the family’s
income and
so dinner could be spaghetti just make
sure there’s something green in the
plate mom you just freed a bunch of
people like right there because i think
we see on instagram these beautiful
images of these gourmet meals that
somebody is making in their crisp white
kitchen you know it’s all white and gray
and modern and you know it’s amazing the
guilt yes
because you’re like i’m barely figuring
out this hamburger helper right here
right and um i mean even my mom
even recently we had this conversation
and she reminded me that there was a
time when my dad said to her
don’t try to be new and creative about
the meals just cook what you know they
like like because you know it’s
frustrating when you do all that and
then you put it in front of your kids
and they’re like oh this is too spicy
this is too i don’t like it i don’t like
it you know you just want to say you’re
going to eat it yeah today
um but instead of being frustrated she
was like you know what just make what
they like yes just make what they like
put some vegetables on the plate and
then let it be simple and easy a one-pan
casserole is fine just do that so you’re
not frustrated yes sit down at the table
just hide the vegetables in the
casserole that’s right
and pull out a crock pot all right
crocodile will change get that bite in
there that’s scary
i love it
we kind of went through this little
stage where when we got to the table
everybody put their iphones in a pile
and whoever gets on it first pays for
the meal
oh so that didn’t last long because
with your children being adult children
you mean whoever gets on there yes oh no
okay that’s a good idea so whether there
is an allowance or whatever it comes
right out of you
yeah
you know that
chick-fil-a had this promotion at one
point where they had these little um
baskets that were on all their tables at
all their restaurants and they were
called phone coops like chicken coops
and the whole place was when you came
into their restaurant they were
encouraging you to have everybody put it
in a basket
and talk to each other and i thought
that was so great and such a great
example for families because we we have
a
cell phone contract actually
and one of the things on the contract is
after 7 30 pm i think it might be 8 p.m
everybody’s phones are plugged up
you cannot be on your phone after 8 p.m
and um also at the dinner table dinner
table well dinner lunch anytime we’re
sitting together at a meal or restaurant
or for my kids you know when an adult is
talking to you
you are not to be on your cell phone and
i think i am tempted actually soon
that i’m going to put a basket out of
the front door and whenever their
friends come over i think i’m going to
have everybody that’s going to put their
cell phone so if your mom needs to
contact you sure come down and see if
she’s texted you but if they don’t have
them i find out that they actually go
play ping pong they actually get get in
the pool or they’ll play basketball or
they’ll you know they’ll hang out okay
so you’re you’re a mom with rules yeah
you’ve got your three big boys tell us
about those rules and how do we how do
we maintain it how do we um i’m sure
there’s a lot of women listening right
now that maybe their kids don’t listen
to them yeah sure much how do you speak
to that oh do you know i don’t know if i
could speak to this really well but i
remember
when my babies were babies and they’re
in the crib and you know how you’re
trying to maybe train them to sleep
through the night or something and
they’re crying and every i mean all your
mom parts want to grab that baby you
just you just want to get your hands on
it baby and stop the crying and you want
to console them i remember standing over
the crib
because an older woman in my life
encouraged me to do this and reminding
myself
i’m the mom i’m i’m in charge
i’m the boss here yeah the baby’s not
the boss
i’m the boss
and i get the privilege of helping to
shape this life to join with god he’s
entrusted this life to me i get the
privilege of shaping this life and i
only have really a short span of time to
do it yeah but i re you know it doesn’t
seem like it at the time every day seems
like an eternity you know when they’re
two
but then when they get to high school
you start to see actually this is going
really fast but i had to kind of hype
myself up and remind myself that i was
the boss so i think we live in a day and
age where
children are the boss
like they’re kind of they’re totally
ignoring what their parents wishes are
because there are no consequences
there’s no follow-through
or there haven’t been enough parameters
set and most of the time
even though your children won’t say it
they’re longing for some boundaries
because boundaries given by an adult who
loves them says and communicates that
they’re loved yes and that they’re going
to be taking i hate to cut you off but
that was that word is a good word for
single parents
that think that they’re inadequate i
need i need no no they’re still in
charge yeah so that’s a good word for
single parents so i have to remind
myself of that even now like oh no
actually i’m the boss
what do i want my children’s
childhood to look like what memories do
i want them to have if i want them to
have memories as adults
of sitting around the table with their
family well then if i don’t make a rule
about what that’s going to look like and
here’s what we’re going to do well then
i’ve actually robbed them of a memory
that they could have had in adulthood
but i let them just left them to their
own devices and didn’t
cultivate that time so just it almost it
just i guess takes a little courage
to remind yourself that i’m the boss
here well i remember my dad talking
about people coming saying i don’t know
what to do with my kid you know he’s
three years old and
my dad would just look at him going
god gave you that baby when he couldn’t
walk he couldn’t talk he didn’t have any
teeth didn’t have any hair
and it’s your responsibility
to because it is a gift from god and
we’re responsible for that gift what
about women that have maybe passed that
time where they have that influence i
mean i’m sure that’s where prayer is
huge is a huge way yeah
and still and i i say still take the
opportunity if if even it’s past that
stage
i say still take the opportunity every
time god gives you a chance to speak
into your life the lives of your
children even even though they’re adults
you know i still call my kids
and if it’s a long
um
inspiration god’s given me to tell my
kids i tell them hang up
and don’t when i call back
just when you have time listen to what
the lord
inspired me to share with you so i think
there’s always opportunity to still
speak
into the lives of our children or those
that we have care of family friends
i mentioned single parents if they allow
you to speak into the children’s lives
you know proverbs 18 21 says we need to
speak good
and today kids need to hear
good because there’s so much evil around
yeah and i think go ahead i was just
going to say i think also
to know that the mercy and the grace of
god covers our faults and our frailties
and our weaknesses so if there was
dysfunction because who doesn’t have
dysfunction you know in some capacity
and in the way they raise their children
or their upbringing coming up um you
just sit back in that and you go okay
well lord you know what the lapses were
in my judgment you know how i didn’t
necessarily get everything right because
nobody does and so god would you
bring the right people into their life
would you shape their character in this
you know as a young adult would you do
what now i i can’t do hands-on because
i’m not with him every day but lord
i give my kid to you
and just know that his mercy that’s what
it does his mercy doesn’t give us what
we do deserve and his grace gives us
what we don’t deserve
and um and so that’s the goodness of god
yeah and you know i love what you’re
talking about though about setting the
boundaries yeah because in those
boundaries come safety safety yeah and
care
children left on their own i mean the
bible tells us all about it children
left to themselves brings shame
you know but setting those boundaries i
think that’s so important because i do
um in a world that is so um
you know the internet phones all of that
boy it’s easy to just let the kids be
with other kids go to their houses and
and they’re just kind of free to to do
what they want to do and i think as
parents
we do need to gather our children yeah
and and
bring them
in-house a little more than what they
are yeah i ca i kept my kids with me i i
have
you know they went to school
through the third and the sixth grade
but but i kept them with me if i
back back at that time we had our own
company and i was able to travel with my
husband and i didn’t go without my kids
we just didn’t matt didn’t either you
know we just took them and i know that’s
not a
it’s not
yeah everybody’s reality exactly but um
i think that’s so important of course
yeah just being close by being close by
yeah it’s like i mean think about when
you’re tr people that nobody nobody
thinks about this but i saw a news story
about somebody growing this prized
tomato and that’s the only reason why
it’s on my mind and in order for the
tomato actually to grow
to the full capacity that it needs to
grow it has to be strapped very closely
to a post um that’s the only way that it
and by the way other
tomatoes have to be cut off that could
have been good tomatoes but for all the
nutrients to get to the one that’s going
to be the prized tomato if it’s not
close to the post and if other things
are not cut away it will not get
everything that it needs it’ll be it’ll
be okay tomato but it won’t be the
prized tomato if it’s not close yeah and
i think you’re right that we got to pull
our kids in get them close to the post
and and again like
little things like just having dinner
together like we’re talking about or
deciding that before bed hey we’re going
to sit here for 10 minutes everybody’s
going to turn off all your stuff we’re
going to play one round of uno and then
we’re just going to figure out what
happened in everybody’s day
i think little things like that where we
don’t have to be perfect parents but
just consistent just pick the thing
you’re going to do and then do that
thing do it well just do it yeah yeah
did you make them go to church every
time the church doors were open yes
unless they were sick unto death
they had to be there in church and tony
got to a point where you know the boys i
just had them put on slacks and t-shirts
you know right or shirts and tony looked
at me one sunday and said no i want them
to dress for church this was 40
something years ago now people go to
church any way they like they’re just
comfortable but he just wanted them to
wear a tie
and a white shirt and things like that
so that’s yes that’s how churchy we were
but now i look at my grandkids and they
come to church
in their shorts and it’s fine it’s fine
it’s fine priscilla
it’s fine i admire that that there’s so
much release and so much freedom now
right but in our day 40-something years
ago your dad is very traditional when it
comes to how you look for church and you
guys never catch you in skinny jeans at
church still to this day lois evans does
not cover the church
oh boy so church was very important yes
now
as it relates to the youth service or
the youth choir or things like that if
my children said they didn’t want to go
we had them sit with us in church yeah
yeah but church was important yeah what
traits do you see in priscilla that that
you gave her
that’s great what what traits did i give
you priscilla it’s kind of like a
question for you go
hmm
what traits did you give me well
i think that my interest in being a mom
who’s there for her children came from
my mom yes i saw that modeled in her and
and it’s it looks very different for me
because i do have ministry that the lord
is entrusted to us so it looks a little
bit different than when my mom did it
yeah um but that that’s important to me
lots of traditions um like every
christmas we would always um pick a
family that was in need and my parents
would take us shopping for that family
yes and they i think that you tried to
coordinate it so there were some
children in that family that were near
our ages right so we could shop for
those kids and with those kids in mind
then we would go to that that family’s
house
and we would give to them and i still do
that with my children now so there are
things even like that that just got
they’re just kind of a part of the fiber
of my life but then also my mom used to
teach us bible stories
with a flannel board yeah remember back
in the day back in the day there’s no
ipads there’s like a flannel board and
these little felt pieces yeah and she’d
put the felt pieces up on the black
fennel do you still have the black
flannel board no i finally let it go oh
i’m so sad i should have kept it but
you know every now and then she put the
pieces in our hands yeah so that we
could tell the bible story and look how
the lord kind of lit a match in my heart
lit a fire in my heart for telling the
bible story just from a flannel board
and some flannel pieces and yeah being
in my pajamas at my mom’s knees
listening to her tell stories yeah so in
the scriptures 43 years of pastoring
here in the dallas fort worth metroplex
right yes right here in dallas starting
our home with 10 people right here in
dallas goodness gracious
that’s some faithfulness yeah and that’s
a lot of mothering i mean she’s
mothering a lot more than the four of us
when you think about it yeah
mentoring the whole 43 years and
sometimes it wasn’t mentoring coming out
of my mouth it was mentoring with them
watching what i was doing my family yeah
because i couldn’t in those early days i
actually sit and counsel
and preach and teach that type of thing
what i did
was my ministry and now the women told
me we just kind of followed what you
were doing with your children
and so i want people to know you’re
mentoring all the time
all the time and everybody’s doing it
aren’t they yeah yeah
and i think it was good too that they
got to see us be very imperfect yeah
that we
you know my
[Laughter]
i gave my parents a run for their money
okay so were you the problem child okay
now we’re getting down to business
this is the tv
of all of all my siblings seriously
probably the one that gave you the
hardest time yeah we kept our eyes we
kept our eyes on priscilla a lot more
uh a lot more and the thing is you know
the train up the child the scriptures
talk about trying out the child and the
way they should go right that’s hard
work because you’re not sure where
they’re gonna go
and so but we kept our eyes on priscilla
a lot more she’s
still is our outgoing personality
very gifted and just kind of trying to
direct that and not quench the
will
how do we do that yeah how do we do that
because there are strong-willed kids out
there that are get i mean look at her
she’s she’s amazing yes you know and
gifted but she probably was a very
very strong
mouthy
but look how god is using right you know
the gift of communication and her dad i
must say on live television all over the
world that her dad takes credit she’s
telling her
she needs to
do her degree program in communications
so i want to make that announcement
but they would have done that for me oh
yeah because we saw that in her yeah she
she
still is she wants to plan things and
she’s the life of the party and mommy i
can do that when i had guests for dinner
which was almost every sunday priscilla
wanted to do name bad name place
whatever you call them
for the guests so they knew where to sit
right and she would help me get the
table set so we saw
a lot of gifting in her but we had to
manage it because it could have taken
her another way and i’m going to just be
careful here
so it’s just again i would say train up
the channel the way that they should go
it’s a lot of monitoring there’s a lot
of managing it’s a lot of talking it’s a
lot of communicating there’s a lot of
partnering with your mate or family
members
to make sure the kid walks in the path
yeah because you were trying to figure
it out as well what is god doing with
this child
yeah so how do you think the easiest way
to know
to know that is
that just what the past
time time with the children
back to that kitchen table or dining
room table time and you would say daddy
too spent a lot of time with you guys
because
a little bit of reality
some days it was too much happening for
me
to manage four kids pick them up from
school ball games dinner what’s for
dinner
and thank the lord uh the churches
across the street from our church from
our home
so i would tell i’ll call tony and say
tony time’s up for counseling and
ministering over there i need some i
need you to come and literally laurie
it would be so draining to try to figure
out
what to do with each kid that he would
say lois
he would greet me with a kiss and let me
just go to walk them all
just let me out of the house
to
recoup refuel restore myself to come
back to managing so we’re not talking
about
something that’s easy in fact it’s so
hard recently that it was
a lot of hard years
very hard i remember okay this is not my
show it’s lori’s show no no this is your
show baby there are a lot of women that
are it’s hard it’s hard and they think
it just happens by us moses for some of
us
no it’s intentional
it’s in it’s investing
it’s hard
work i remember one day
we had a baby jonathan i remember
looking in the bastard and saying thank
you lord for the gift
and then i sat at the edge of the bed
and said
what’s for dinner
i don’t even know what’s for dinner
i don’t i can’t go to a grocery store
i’ve got a little one here
what do we do i remember tony coming
home and saying lois
i said tony i just don’t know if i could
continue on with all that god’s called
us to do
because i really believe he just gave us
a new gift
the church is growing
my ministry is growing
but i really believe my first commitment
is to my family titus 2 talks about that
and so the lord’s given us these
priorities of family first and children
first but here i am sitting as a
pastor’s wife with my hand in my lap
not knowing
what next to do
and i yes i sent tony to the store i
said get some back to the spaghetti
again that was the quickest meal get
some spaghetti get something green get
some broccoli and that’s dinner and
tony’s not a cook but he helped me that
day you know so it takes a whole lot to
make it happen and yes we do have those
real reality days
but in the midst of it
[Applause]
i had a mom and a grandmother that had
just probably a harder life than i had
and i saw them do it for his name’s sake
and that’s what’s been ringing in my
head all these years still does as i
watch my kids now raising my
grandchildren
do it for his name’s sake because you
have all you need to make it happen you
have all the power you need sometimes
yes we need respites
we need time away
but but to do it for his namesake
because isaiah let me go to my ipad real
quick
iphone uh and i didn’t notice let me
read the scripture to you why i do it
day in and day out
uh it says in isaiah 59 21 this is not
just about you and me
it’s about generations to come we need
to leave the lord’s name strong for
generations to come it’s not about you
and me it says in isaiah 59 21 as for me
god says this is my covenant with them
my spirit that i’ve placed upon you
and the words that i’ve given you to
speak
they’re not going to leave your mouths
now the mouths of your children nor the
mouths of your grandchildren you will
keep repeating these words and won’t
ever stop that’s god’s orders that’s the
message bible god’s ordering you and me
so when when you come to those places
where you just want to
throw your hands up remember
you have an awesome god
that has a plan for you and wants you to
make sure your children know and
grandchildren know because this is
generational yeah god bless you that you
know what miss lois there’s so many
women and i know men are are mothering
too they’re they’re in that business
also can you just pray for them it seems
like you’ve got
that going right now why don’t you just
pray sometimes we have a little more
faith in somebody else’s prayer that’s
praying for us maybe even our own
prayers could you just minister to the
people and pray for them right now
father i thank you so much jesus for
this opportunity to just talk to moms
and those that are
helping
with bringing children up that this is
not about us it’s about you
and what you’ve empowered us to do
you’ve given us all we need to make it
happen so when the challenging times
come in our life and you said
in this world we will have tribulation
but you also said we’re overcomers
because of the blood of the lamb
that when it’s challenging help us to
hold on to your unchanging hand
and the power that got you out of the
grave
so i pray for mothers today that are
just
with their hands in their laps thinking
how can i do this how can i make it
i want to remind you
that he’s called you
he’s gifted you he’s empowered you
and he’s released you to raise these
children for his namesake and in his
name so we pray for these ladies today
that are looking and gentlemen and
fathers and grandparents and all of us
who are taking care of the gifts you’ve
given us that we will look at it and
realize it’s a gift from god and he has
given us everything we need to make it
happen
and we pray your power
in jesus name in all the lives that are
listening today
amen amen beautiful
beautiful that’s so good you know i love
the the generational thing because it
says you’ll teach your children and your
children’s children yes the goodness and
the faithfulness of god and what he’s
done for us
and that is that you know every seed is
a deed
and and there are so many grandparents i
think nowadays raising their grandkids
yeah
yeah day in and day out yeah and
i wonder is there anything you would
have done differently miss lois
yes
i was talking with one of my daughters
crystal was talking with my daughter
last night
and i said i would have been more
vulnerable to you guys i would have told
you
what my needs were
and what my um
weaknesses were i would have told you
kids i think you might have sympathized
more with me
because i was telling her that
you know that you probably just sit your
children down and tell them
that you’re doing your best yeah it’s
not
perfect but you’re doing your best and
tell them why we don’t have we have lean
funds right now
we’re only making so much money we can’t
do what your friends are telling you you
should be doing
so i would say if i had to do it all
over again i would have been more
vulnerable and more communicative that’s
the word community
communicate communicative
yes but my children so they were
could be a part of the journey of our
family yeah but i was just
making things happen making things work
you know again just following my mom and
grandmother like i mentioned they had
challenging times but we never knew it
yeah there was always a clean house and
always a small meal but a delicious meal
so i never saw vulnerability in my mom
or grandmother so i perpetuated that but
now i’m telling younger mothers because
it’s so much more that we have to deal
with now in raising children that you
need to set your kids down at a certain
age you decide age sensitive what you
say but let them know you know it’s only
so much money we have
later on maybe we’ll be able to take you
to the movies and then go for a meal
and
include your children
in the journey of your family yeah how
do you do that priscilla
you know i think
every now and then i will
tell the boys you know yeah i’m tired
yeah
i’m a girl
[Laughter]
i’m tired i had a really long day
because you kind of think that your
parents i thought my parents were
superheroes
exactly i was just getting ready to say
that about mine too
you kind of think they’re superheroes
until you become an adult that you
realize that they actually did have
needs yeah you know there were actually
things that were
concerning them or i think about the way
sometimes as a woman in my 40s now how
just my body’s changing i
excuse me with hormones and weight yeah
oh i know what i’m saying that’s
something happens in the 40s too you
know
and um i think about that that when my
mom was in that stage of life
um how hard that would have been to
still be full-on with these four kids
and grow in a church with my dad and all
of that she didn’t even know it and
nobody acknowledging yeah that actually
she’s like for real tired not just
because she worked hard but because even
your body as a woman is changing yeah
and how that’s good as daughters maybe
we would have been
would have responded differently or
would have been helpful differently
because we’re aware that oh actually
she’s human
and she actually feels sad when the
other women at the church ignore her or
don’t
include her in something that actually
hurts her like it’s not like she’s just
like no big deal she it actually hurts
her heart yeah so then you start to look
at the humanity of your parents so
that’s good just every now and then i’ll
tell the voice i’m tired so we’re
actually going to all make dinner
we’re participating and then after you
guys set the table you know afterwards
the dishes me and your dad are going to
actually go talk mm-hmm because we
haven’t even seen each other all day
while you all clean the dishes good and
i have to set myself up for the fact
that
the dishes are still gonna be done your
[Applause]
that’s way put it in the right place you
have to go ahead and let go of the
perfectionism of the way you’d like it
to be yes um and that’s actually harder
in our family for my husband than it is
for me just to let them just just let
them at the kitchen you know no matter
what it’ll look like in the end what it
means though is that you and i will have
20 minutes to just sit outside on the
patio and talk for a second yeah well
that’s good you’re actually teaching
your boy kids to cook
yes because our brothers did not know
and that was in that paradigm now the
part of them has shifted boys need to
learn how to cook
yes they do i think so good
we had we we had to do a lot for my
brothers you did yes so my youngest
brother now he’s a husband and a father
and
we are amazed at what he does because we
thought he could do nothing
he thought he was paralyzed yeah but
he’s the best husband
he was the baby but no he’s he’s a he’s
turned out okay yeah yeah we’re
surprised yes
you know back to the superhero
thing you know i look at my own mom and
my grandmother literally 96 years old
beautiful beautiful grandmothers on both
sides
um
but truly we didn’t know what they were
going through
no and and my boys here a lot compared
to what i did you know my mom never
complained yeah she was all i knew is i
was not going to be a pastor’s wife
i’d look at my mom i go i don’t know
what i’m i know i’m going to be in
ministry right but i’m sure i’m not
going to be a pastor’s wife yes you know
that’s not what i was going to do
because i admire
you not only have your own family but
you have the family there at the church
yeah and that’s a huge role to play and
i admire you and i adore you for what
you and your your husband have done in
this this city i’m kind of curious about
you though because there’s a question
you asked my mom and i was thinking i
wonder how miss laurie would answer that
what would you have done differently
with your two boys looking back
um
i probably wouldn’t have been so hard on
my first one yeah probably a little
harder on my second one no i was pretty
hard on my little one
just um he traveled um
at the time with with my ill and they
wish i wouldn’t have been so hard on him
either mom and dad crouch but we were
going to places that you know we were
going to president’s offices around the
world and
he had to be good and he had to be quiet
and he had to you know so i was pretty
pretty rough on him but boy he’s a good
kid
he’s so sweet yeah um
um let me think about that and i’ll get
back okay what about discipline
that’s a huge you know we have swung in
this beautiful united states of america
on what discipline is
my daddy and my mama believed in
spanking yes and and we
yeah the bible says spirit of the rod
you spoil the child it works now i know
we have to be careful how we raise the
rod but anyway go ahead lori but um
that was that
that’s a big that’s a big deal now you
know my dad didn’t believe in a timeout
ever
he didn’t count to three i like that
yeah you know yeah and um
do you have anything to speak to that
well i do think we’ve swung way too far
in the in the wrong direction i i have
had to restrain myself at times being
for example in a grocery store and
listening to a kid behind me talk to his
mother any old kind of way and i mean i
had to restrain myself from turning
around and getting after this kid
talking to his mother that way i
couldn’t believe that she would just
allow that
um so you’re right we’ve gone the other
direction where again we’re letting the
kids kind of run the show yeah and not
have to learn respect and those sorts of
things and self-control so we do
discipline our kids um i i i’m not a fan
of spanking but i do agree i do agree
with the principle that
a controlled spanking is is sometimes
just it is what it is and that’s what a
child needs to get themselves in order i
think
that obviously that can be taken to the
far extreme too and can become abusive
and then that’s that’s not in any way
what the scripture is suggesting
but i also do think i had a friend years
ago who wrote a book called creative
correction and i do think that there are
some creative ways that you can correct
that instead of reverting to spanking
first to just take a minute to make sure
your boiling point has gone down yeah
which i appreciate so so much now
because i realize that’s what daddy was
doing yeah yeah he would send us to our
room yeah but then it would take him
like 25 minutes to come yeah and that’s
just like it was excruciating
but it was it was so that he could come
down and settle and make sure that
discipline it’s not about getting your
anger out it’s supposed to be about
correcting your child and helping them
to see
um you know
a better way to navigate the situation
but i also think that during that time
there could be some thought put into
some creative ways to correct so for
example crystal did this my older sister
she was raising her first child who’s
now married with a child of her own yeah
when she was raising her um
she kept
well there were several things she did
creatively but one of them was she she
was supposed to be taking things
upstairs there’s a basket there
that anything that needed to go upstairs
back to her room would be put in that
basket and it was her responsibility to
get that upstairs she would just avoid
it she would avoid it so crystal gave
her the whole basket which was now full
and she had to run up
run up the stairs to her room with the
basket put everything away put
everything back in the basket run back
downstairs run back up the stairs with
the basket and she had to do that i
don’t know 10 or 15 times it was a big
like huffing and puffing
major thing but she didn’t forget that
basket anymore after she had to do that
when she wasn’t keeping her room clean
my sister took the door off the hinges
and took the door completely out and
when she still wasn’t cleaning her room
well after no longer having privacy she
had to move out of her room and she had
to sleep downstairs in the living room
she didn’t have the rights to her room
anymore i’m learning a lot today
but you better believe cara started
cleaning up her room after that so i
just wonder if there are some creative
ways that are more specifically
connected to the offense right that
maybe could be more memorable to our kid
and i’m not suggesting that you don’t
spank but i am saying yeah think about
is there something else i could do that
actually is going to get them to learn
this particular principle i love that
yeah
the name of that book yeah
it’s called creative correction i think
it might be a decade old now by lisa
welchel
and she just talks about creative
options of discipline for your children
based on
certain infractions and
maybe you know you might find a way to
motivate your kid towards something yeah
what’s the um
what’s
the role of a grandmother
in wow
grandchildren’s lives you know lori i
had to really learn what that was
because you’ve
lived 18 20 something years
telling everybody what to do and
hopefully them following your directions
and now
you have to work through the fact that
you can’t invade another family it might
be your daughter but she’s married to
someone and they probably have different
rules and different things so
i
i had to work through that because i was
still in the mode of telling
and and why aren’t you not you know
and so it’s a different role it’s like
supporting your children yeah kind of
find out where the need is and
supporting like they would call and tell
me they’re working on certain things in
their children’s lives so when i’m
around them i try to see be positive
about that yeah
yes plant seed into that so it’s kind of
hands off but you kind of want to have
your hands on it’s it’s it’s really
different different
but i feel like
where i feel i’m having an impact i hope
it’s
encouraging whatever they need yeah
making sure to hear from the grandmother
and even tony we would tell we would
tell daddy
you know you might need to say a word
here and a word there so that’s where we
are as grandparents you love that and
just loving in them i love them to sit
between me and
service yeah because then i
they’re on their ipads and iphones but i
still put the bible in front of them
there is a word here
just because they don’t use the bible
per se the kids they use the ipads so i
i love the pages i want to see the pages
and like sunday that he was reading of a
different version than what i had and so
joel looked at me and he said it’s
different i said it’s a different
version so i was able to kind of
talk through some things and so i love
that they’re in church and i hope i’m
answering your questions absolutely it’s
kind of hands off because you want to
respect the family right but i think
it’s so important though to support yeah
what they’re what they’re hearing at
home what they’re kind of dealing with
at home to have that support that’s
amazing and i think that you know
my mom is also being very consistent in
my dad about still having some
traditions that are that are rooted in
our history
so now my parents have great
grandchildren now i have two great
grandchildren
and you know every fourth of july every
christmas you know there are going to be
certain every easter we’re together you
know every first sunday of the month
my entire family has dinner together
and that’s spurred on by grandparents
who are saying actually we’re going to
come together and do certain things
together and so my mom sort of stole the
spearhead with that and we’ve just
recently had a conversation because you
know it’s a lot of us now yes
just the children alone are like 18
grandkids yeah and then there’s all of
us and our spouses and
and so we’ve had even had a conversation
about that recently about well you know
christmas is a lot of cooking because we
all want my mother’s cooking
moms
they all have a special dish she has
like 12 dishes like what and um you
probably heard her accent she’s from
guyana south america so we get the
guyanese food that we kind of love on
christmas so we’re all waiting for it i
know so there are still some things we
want my mom to cook but she’s been very
honest with us i still want this
tradition yes but we we can’t we all
have to participate because
yeah can we do it a different way or
even in a different place or whether
it’s more room or we just have to
negotiate it but it’s still rooted in
the tradition that starts at the helm
and sort of filters down so in that way
for our children they do not know a
christmas outside of yeah we wake up we
do something together with our little
family but then we’re going to nani and
poppy’s house and they can’t even
imagine a christmas that doesn’t involve
donnie and poppy they wouldn’t even know
what to do with that so the fact that we
that they still have that
is a treasure and and i’m thinking about
the person who you know maybe their
parents have passed on or their
grandparents have passed on they don’t
have that well
don’t don’t be discouraged yeah be be
excited because that means it’s you
you’re the one that gets to decide yeah
what do i want the tradition to be that
i start with my kids that we can
continue when my grandkids come yes and
just start that tradition that’s
beautiful keep doing it let me just be
faithful to it i’m sorry to interrupt
you but she’s used to that i cut them
off all the time
because i’m using the age thing if i
don’t speak right now i’ll forget
right
but one thing you forgot to tell them
how old you are no i don’t want to do
that because today does not reflect my
age this is not my hair
that was that was a lot of information
oh it’s too much information
but let me back up a little bit even
when we get together as a family
a part of the tradition of getting
together is the children saying they’re
bible verses yes and they run my husband
puts a chair up in the room and the kids
run in competition with each other to
say their verses even the little ones
the little two-year-old we let her sing
she sings a verse yeah but our point is
we’re just kind of instilling in our
grandchildren like the scripture says
the word beautiful yeah beautiful
priscilla we’ve got a few more minutes
in this beautiful show i have loved this
every minute of this conversation i love
when you speak about the family i love
the blessing that you pray over your
boys for the last little while once you
look into that camera and just minister
to the people and encourage them till we
go out okay i’d love to do that i do
want to encourage you to
not strive for perfection in your
parenting just just consistency just
pick what it is that you want to do that
you want to be faithful about and
consistent about with your children
whether it’s
baking bread you know you decide i want
to bake bread so my kids can remember
the smell of bread bacon you don’t have
to be perfect at it just decide if
that’s what you want to do just do it if
it’s that you want to have a meal around
a table pick the two nights a week this
week you can get it done and do it if
it’s that you want to have devotions do
it just start and you don’t have to be
perfect but your kids will remember
whatever it is that you’re doing
consistently and faithfully
and that’s what we had growing up i will
i will say that it wasn’t perfection it
was
consistent intentional parents and i’m
so grateful for that now your kids will
be too if you’re on the other side of
raising your children and you feel maybe
a little discouraged because you’re
looking back and you’re thinking man
there’s so many things i would have done
differently well welcome to the club
there are so many things that all of us
as parents look back and would have done
differently but it’s okay because the
holy spirit’s got you covered there’s
grace and mercy that is sufficient for
all of our weaknesses and our
shortcomings and our frailty and i’m so
grateful for that from my own life and
i’m grateful for that for yours as well
so i just want to
tell you that one of the things that i
do consistently with my boys is pretty
much every single day as much as i can i
square them up and i do
say some words over them it’s almost
like a little prayer they are so annoyed
that i say it to them but i say it to
them anyway and i encourage you to write
something down for your kids your
daughter or your son and speak it over
them i say to my sons that you are a man
of integrity character and honesty and
you will love the lord your god with all
your heart with all your soul and with
all your strength today you’ll be a
blessing to your teachers and you will
be a blessing to your friends you will
put on the full armor of god so that you
can stand firm against the schemes of
the enemy you are the head you are not
the tail you are above you are not
beneath you are a leader you are not a
follower and today is going to be one of
the best days of your entire life and i
know that they get annoyed by it but you
know the fact that they can quote some
of it back to me what that says to me is
that it’s getting into their system and
that they’re going to believe about them
whatever it is i say about them and so i
want to speak to you from god’s word and
i want you to believe what god god’s
word says about you too
and god’s word says that you have been
equipped by the spirit of god that every
spiritual blessing that you need
ephesians 1 says pertaining to not just
godliness but pertaining to your life
every spiritual blessing you need he has
already given you you have been lavished
upon with the grace and the goodness of
god the equipping of god to be the
mother or the grandmother that he has
called you to be you walk in victory not
in defeat there is an enemy yes but he
is already underneath your feet he may
form a weapon against you but that
weapon has no possibility of prospering
and he already knows that before he even
gets started you have not been given a
spirit of fear but of power and of love
and of a sound mind and you will be a
woman a mother a grandmother a single
mother who makes a mark on a generations
to come and god’s blessing will flow not
just to you but through you one
generation to the next and the next and
i’m praying the blessing over you that
i’ve gotten to see come to fruition in
my own parents life i’m praying that you
will not just see the blessing extent of
your children but that you’ll live long
enough your eyes will be open long
enough to see your grandchildren and
your great-grandchildren one generation
after the the other experiencing the
blessing of god let me pray for you
lord jesus i thank you for my sister and
my brother who might be sitting on the
other side of the screen i pray right
now in jesus name that if there’s any
discouragement on them that you would
lift it off of them father you would
replace it with encouragement father you
would infuse them with your courage to
do what it is that you’ve called them to
be to do to be who you’ve called them to
be i pray lord that you would blanket
their life in a peace that passes all
understanding yes lord i pray for
supernatural discernment for the mother
who is trying to deal with a toddler
lord a teenager lord a young adult for
the grandmother that’s trying to figure
out her place in it all lord i pray for
supernatural discernment and wisdom
father as they train up their children
in the way that they should go would you
give them your eyes to see that child
even that problem child lord through
your lens so that they can steward and
guide in a way that will bring you
utmost honor father and i pray in the
meanwhile lord that you would help them
to know that every deficiency they have
has already been covered by your grace
your blood poured out on calvary it’s
already finished it’s done so lord not
to look at their weaknesses but to
remember that in our weaknesses your
strength is made perfect and so we give
our families to you our children to you
both now and forevermore in jesus name
amen amen oh amen at tbn our mission is
to use every available means to reach as
many individuals and families as
possible with the life-changing gospel
of jesus christ thank you for helping
make
the gospel of grace go around the world
without you we couldn’t do it god bless
you