Priscilla Shirer, Joyce Meyer, and Shanté Tribbett empower you in your relationships to keep God as your source of love.

you’ll be amazed how you’ll begin to see

the encounters that you have the

circumstances that align the little

beckonings and convictions of God’s

spirit how they all begin to work

together to help you to realize you

actually are hearing God’s voice and

seeing his Providence as he steers you

in the direction of his will for your

life when you have the fear of man

the fear of rejection the fear of being

talked about the fear of what they’re

going to think you end up and we do it

sometimes so fast we don’t even realize

we do it or we’ve done it so long we

don’t even realize we do it we

we please people to get what we think we

want it’s important because God has a

plan for marriage and if I’m not in this

plan then I can’t really reap what I you

know what I feel like I I should read



how do you grow together not grow apart

I think that’s interesting because even

though you’re married you’re still an

individual you know what I mean and um

with two different lifestyles

and I’m gonna make two different

Lifestyles let’s say I’m on the road a

lot you home with the kids that’s

two different experiences I’m gonna grow

in a certain way you’re going to grow in

another certain way right but the

communication of the thing is the

marriage of it making me aware of not

just what you do but how you feel and

feel when you did it that’s giving me

your soul that’s giving me you and

that’s how you grow with me because I’m

growing in this certain space I’m not

just telling you oh Chicago was amazing

babe I’m like yo I felt like it I did

yeah I I feel about it helps you grow

with me that communication we don’t

really have

in-depth communication like that I don’t

mean we I mean a lot of people marriages

don’t really go there we just have the

events I did this I took care of the

kids you’re never gonna say I was I was

here with the kids and I hated it no you

understand what sometimes you do

sometimes you’re like man I wish I I

wish I could have just you don’t hate

the kids but you know that you got to be

there and I’m just let me just make it

oh yeah okay disclaimer I don’t mean

that but that’s it’s those things that

help you grow together not just hey babe

how were you when I went I was just

cleaning the house to take care that’s

not that’s what you did that’s not you

yeah your feelings so I think you know

you know how why do people grow apart I

think people grow apart because they

don’t do things together like you can’t

just assume that because we just live

together or we see each other all the

time that that we are one like we have

to spend time quality time and not just


just time but quality time is what’s

going on with you what’s going on with


um like you said what what’s my emotions

what what’s what’s been bothering me

what’s been making me happy like just

because we’re not doing the same things

doesn’t mean we can’t communicate our

hearts and our feelings and our emotions

and if we consistently do that I feel

like you can grow together that way but

again if you’re using pride and you’re

not expressing your emotions and you’re

not expressing your feelings and how can

too work together except they’d be

agreed you got to agree on things talk

about things and just communicate and

that’s how you grow grow with your

friends you tell them everything you do

he ain’t home yeah I can’t believe you

know I’m not saying this all next they

may think that they know you more than

your spouse know you yeah like that’s my

friend that’s been my friend I knew her

longer than you but it’s because of the

feelings that they get the real feelings

yeah that communication that of that

place is necessary for growth together

totally yeah



to regain the trust after it’s been lost

I think again is unique and as unique as

a fingerprint

um I do know dealing with our journey

that you cannot set a timer on when you

think they should all right all right

I’ve been doing this two weeks now you

should trust me by now you can’t

determine the the effect of the

infraction that’s true you can’t

determine the effect of the blow that

you uh it’s almost like a guy in the

choir you know we talk about it all the

time he was up there dancing when we had

the choir he’ll be up there dancing and

then boom he hit one of the one of the

females in the face with the back of his


and he’s like oh I’m sorry I’m so sorry

I was just dancing it’s like yeah it’s

okay it’s cool we know you didn’t mean

it but it still hurts it still hurts I

Still Water and it might be red I might

need to sit down I can’t see right now

yeah so you can’t say just because I

didn’t mean it that it didn’t hurt that

it don’t hurt so you got to help heal it

yeah so it takes a lot of patience on

the one who is trying to gain the trust

back it takes a lot of patience you

can’t put a timeline on it uh you can’t

say are your eyes should be good by now

you no you you can’t do that and the

steps that it takes is is individual

you know what I’m saying hey FaceTime me

when you okay yeah accountability points

I like to call it exactly everybody has

their different needs again we all come

from different um upbringings and so we

all expect different things and so in

order for me to feel loved I may need my

spouse to do this or to say this or to

give me a gift or to spend quality time

or physical touch like we all need

different things so my my personal love

language okay let’s say I’ve been

offended or whatever and for me to feel

comfortable and to know that this person

still loves me still wants me is when

they do things for me kind of like um

I forget what it’s called acts of

service so basically if somebody’s doing

something for me and I didn’t have to

ask them then I know they’re thinking

about me but that’s not everybody so oh

I come downstairs thinking I’m about to

take out the trash and the trash was

already taken out and then to me I feel

like oh wow they love me but to somebody

else that’s normal so each scenario is

different for each person you just gotta

know what your needs are

period that’s what I think I love that



well what God did to me in my heart when

I was separated from my husband during a

certain time was he showed me that all

his promises that he promised me only

came through being married to my husband

and so we have separate you know things

are different so we have different

promises so when I’m single I have a

different lifestyle maybe a different

relationship or expectations from God

but then when I’m married there’s

another type of favor and there there

are other things that come with marriage

there are benefits that comes with

marriage so then I won’t have those

benefits if I’m not with this person I

won’t be as as blessed as I heard God

tell me I was going to be if I’m not

with this person so it’s important

because God has a a plan for marriage

and if I’m not in this plan then I can’t

really reap what I you know what I feel

like I I should reap or reap what he

told me to reap so I’d rather be one

with this person in order for God to

bless us this way because he has a plan

for us he didn’t have a plan for me when

I was single his plan was for me to be

married and to be with this man for a

bigger purpose and so I feel like that’s

that’s what’s important to keep us

together and growing together and being

together is following God’s plan

for our life I think for me when we were

separated my focus was oh my Lord how do

I get it back how do I get the marriage

and God’s Focus was this is you how do I

get it back what should I say should I

say this is you oh my Lord he was

showing me like yo got it you have to

deal with this got it at this point I

don’t mean sexual right your emotions I

didn’t know me I knew the director the

musician the Holy Ghost Field boy I

knewan I knew the brother I didn’t know

I didn’t know Ty because she was so

tucked in the back from all the unmanned

yeah I put so many versions of me in

front of me and he was just pilling them

all back how do I get it back should I

call her should I send a text should I

buy her a car

he was not focused on the marriage at

all because I think the whole time he

knew that’s going to be there but you’re

not gonna go back the same so he really

really dealt with me on who I am in my

secret place the real me the authentic

me so that I can be that when we came

back I don’t think God I mean course God

knows all things so he knew we we will

be back together but he didn’t want me

to come back the same way you understand

what I’m saying the same tendency with

the same you know what I mean it could

happen again so uh I feel like God

really really really really really

really really really really

stripped me down and I hated every layer

of people out like

you know what I’m saying I I just I just

hated everyone and I’m glad he did that

so I could see that and I could see him

coming on you know what I’m saying I

mean even an offense or a confusion and

things like that he showed me me yeah

and I’m grateful for that you know what

I mean but it’s benefits to that when

God show you you it’s not just for the

imagination it’s better for you become

an Israel exactly it’s better for me

it’s better for us when we have to

change and get better God knows what it

takes and he knows sometimes that we

won’t change if we’re by ourselves but

he he understands that he put that in us

when we when we need to help another

person or do something for another

person it’s easier it seems like to

change for somebody else than to just

change for yourself and so there’s a

motive there and so that’s why God put

that don’t be afraid of that change

everybody if God is showing you yourself

like Jacob wrestled with an angel or a

man until the break of the day who was

your name he called himself what he did

and who he was I’m Jacob I’m trickster

on the liar on the on the hill catcher

said no more even if you were that up

until this encounter no more let God

stripped down the layers let him show

you the ugly you that we avoid real

quick and we’d rather be this person

we’d rather post another version of

ourselves let him deal with the real you

and a lot of times just like that story

Jacob is so stubborn our old man and our

old self is so stubborn that God gotta

break something you know what I’m saying

here to break our marriage before a

minute to get Advanced to gain an

advantage yeah like to get ahead of us

man it’s strong Jacob is strong let me

break something so I can get you to

listen and get you to hear me so allow

God to do the breaking allow God to do

the revealing of who you are because

you’re going to come out Israel you’re

going to come out better you don’t feel

like it in the process it don’t seem

like it in a process and we do not like

it this little flesh that ain’t really

you hates it it’s enmity perfect perfect

hatred against the spirit so you’re

never going to enjoy it uh that’s why

you have to walk and live in the spirit

and then you’ll understand it so allow

that break and allow that stripping and

allow him to make you better

that’s right yeah I like it


I don’t want to be generic but how do we

start to heal when we’ve been offended


um or anything like that and I and I

believe that

it’s just the the Brokenness like God

said he draws an eye to a a contrite

heart and a broken spirit and when we we

can still go through things and hurt and

feel pain but still go through it in a

humble way basically like without Christ

and without God you’re not fully going

to be healed or get through it he’s the

mender of broken heart so it’s not just

about time it’s about quality of time so

quality time with God will help you

start your process of healing now

healing is a journey it’s not just one

day and it’s over it’s a journey it’s a

fight and so Walking with God is going

to soften that and it’s going to help

you get through it and that’s what I

believe and we talked earlier about

unmet needs and how God supplies your

needs through the spouse sometimes

so a lot of times when you have this

unmet need and this Gap avoid in your

life that God supplies through your

spouse when that bends you and hurts you

it’s like the cavity is way deeper but

we have to understand a lot of times

that our help that God supplies our

needs like sometimes our help is in a

human that’s still a human so God’s

Supply is still coming through a human

so it’s it’s not an amazing thought to

think that your help is coming through

somebody’s flawed oh wow but that’s a

humbling thought and a realization that

we need on every level you’re gonna love

your kid this child is going to make me

the proudest mom your answer is coming

through something flawed so I know her

offense is there but forgiveness can

take place in God’s timing he’s the only

one the Bible says that he’s the mender

of the broken hearts he mends the heart

not the restoration of the marriage is

the healing of it he God heals your

heart turn to the Lord aggressively and

let them direct your paths but

understand even though he was that or

she was that to you and it might have

dropped or it may have you know uh Mr

Mark understand even your help and your

love and your support and your and your

boot is a human being that is already

flawed that needs to help in the leading

of the Holy Spirit of the Lord that’s

right and that’ll help you again with

perspective on how to love them like oh

they they got a minute oh they need a

little more like a oh they you know what

I mean it doesn’t override the

infraction right it just helps it just

helps the the process as you go on your

journey of healing it is possible it’s

happening with us it could happen with

you God is not a respecter of persons

and he loves us too much to let us lead

this life hurt that’s right heal you and

make you whole be healed behold in Jesus

name amen so uh father we just

acknowledge you right now God and we

just pray Lord God that you would begin

to touch the heart of the person the

male or female that may be

still dealing with the unforgiveness

Lord God you said that you wanted to

heal us from Stony Hearts God and so

father I pray that for that individual

that you will begin to remove each Stone

out of their heart a stone of

unforgiveness and a stone of anger and a

stone of rejection and all of those

stones that we feel that make our heart

heavy father we pray that you break up

the ground the hard ground in their

heart and give him the heart of Flesh

God the Lord God so that the pride can

leave as well from their Stony heart God

and that they’ll have a heart of Flesh a

Heart of Love A Heart of of acceptance a

heart of unconditional love in the name

of Jesus father I pray that even right

now that you will go to their heart and

touch each and every person’s heart Lord

allow them to fill your comfort in their

heart allow them to know that you care

even about their emotional trauma and

their physical pain everything Lord God

I pray that the holy spirit will even

now move and lay on them and hover over

them like you did in the beginning of

time that they know that you are there

allow them to fill you Lord God I pray

in the name of Jesus allow them to be

whole and entire lack in nothing Lord

God and just keep them give them

strength and they will be strong in the

name of Jesus we pray I was hearing this

as you was praying forgiveness is at the

beginning of the Journey of healing it’s

not at the end of it amen so after you

heal then you forgive no yeah

forgiveness is the decision you make

before you even start the Journey of

restoration and healing there’s still a

journey there’s still a process after

the decision just like salvation but

make the decision today I will forgive I

will forgive them their trespasses uh

God you forgive me my trespasses as we

forgive those who trespass against us so

my decision is forgiveness at the

beginning now there has to be a journey

of restoration and healing but choose to

forget today in Jesus name by the help

of the holy spirit amen amen


it occurred to me that while I did value

prayer I had neglected intentionality

with prayer being strategic in prayer

actually trying to detect where you see

the enemy’s fingerprints at kind of as

handiwork meddling in your life where

you anticipate he might want to take

advantage of a weakness or a or a a bit

of divisiveness and just being mindful

of that so that when we pray we’re not

just randomly saying words that we’ve

heard all along or words that we’ve kind

of memorized along the way or words that

are comfortable to us but we’re actually

um praying in a way that is targeted

it’s kind of exactly what you described

a few moments doing the work to find the

promises of God that actually apply in

everything that we know intentional

prayer and then writing it down

sometimes we need to write our prayers

down only because it keeps us focused it

reminds us what we’re praying about you

know so when it’s posted there in that

war room and you come back in there day

after day you’re reminded this is your

prayer this is where you’re focusing

your um your prayer life on and until I

see an answer I’m gonna keep praying

this prayer it also gives you a great

track record with God because then when

God does answer you can see that date at

the top of that page of when you started

praying that and then you’ll be able to

put a date down of when God answered

however in his sovereignty he chose to

what a great track record not just for

you but your grandchildren and your

great-grandchildren to see how Grandmama

or Grandpa prayed and believed that God

would answer wow I think the thing I

loved about or you know even the prayer

because in Ephesians 6 it talks about

the armor you know which we’re familiar

with but then

and it’s not the the the prayer that’s

oh God why you know the whining I mean

you can do that for a minute because

maybe we all need to whine for a minute

complain to God because honestly the

Psalms David complained for a bit I mean

you know he went he went on a journey

with God he was intimate and real with

his pain and Agony before God and then

there’s got to be a rising up then there

has to be a point where you that’s the

thing so at some point yes could do the

complaining but at some point you have

to begin speaking the truth of what God

has to say about your marriage about

your health and about your family about

reconciliation I just remember even that

for me with just some situations and you

know family and extended family that was

hard it was so hard and and I remember

moments of you know the complaining

before God because of course I was

perfect and they were the problems well

everybody else needs to change yes would

it would really help out my life totally

um but so I you know complained but then

I started you know talking about pulling

out the scriptures that talked about

unity and Reconciliation and and

together and faithfulness and just

declaring that and I’ve seen God do what

only he could do yeah in the lives of

people I mean I saw it in my health but

I was also seen it in relationships with

people and so I just think that

that if if people understood more about

the power you know some people say well

all I can just pray no no that’s not all

about the thing to do right is right


um Second Chronicles 7 14 If my people

right who are called by my name humble

themselves and pray yeah right then he’s

going to heal our land we’re too busy

complaining about our land and our

government and all that’s happening it’s

like well you can complain but if you

prayed as much as you complained maybe

we would see something different and you

know what if I were your enemy what I’d

want to do is devalue in your mind the

potency of what I know to be the most

powerful weapon you have against me so

he’s made our churches focus on being a

house of great programs or a house of

great preaching and a house of great

singing when they’re supposed to be a

house of prayer because it’s the prayer

that pushes back the kingdom of darkness

so if I were the enemy that’s exactly

what I do I devalue what I knew was the

most potent weapon that you had in Your

Arsenal against me so we do everything

first except pray pray and so for you uh

personally so how do you

when do you when do you pray are you a

late at night person are you the middle

of the day person are you well I don’t

know you first of all lest anyone think

that my life is you know I’m up on a


yeah that’s right

um my life is very much like everybody

else’s that it’s his laundries and

laundry and kids and it’s kind of that

thing where you know once your feet hit

the floor in the morning it’s over it’s

just full on for the rest of the day

right and so

um I have this ongoing actually part of

my prayer is Lord would you continue to

help me to prioritize this in my life

because it can so easily kind of get

pushed off of the that position of

priority so I just say Lord I need you

to stir I don’t want to manufacture

passion I want you to stir in me a

passion to where I don’t want to go a

day without prioritizing prayer and then

hearing back from you listening to you

through the scriptures and so I try to

do that in the morning because it seems

like that’s the best time if I wait till

the end of the day it ain’t gonna happen

no that’s the same with me no if I don’t

if the morning if I if it doesn’t happen

then yeah then it just gets it’s like if

it doesn’t happen just the very first

time I know then once you get going

but I will say I learned a bit from

Brother Lawrence that you know Age Old

Saint from that book practicing the

presence of God that really just gives

us freedom lifts that burden off of us

of feeling like if we don’t have an hour

to spend with the Lord at the beginning

of the day that it’s a waste of time to

practice God’s presence all day long yes

so my kids are a little bit older now

but I went through a season four five

six years there where I would just write

down scripture verse on a three by five

card the same one on five different

cards maybe and I’d put one on the

bathroom mirror where I’d be washing

little hands all day one where I was

going to be doing the dishes one where I

was folding clothes one near the sandbox

outside and I just would have the same

verse for like two weeks so everywhere I

went I was just running into this verse

and by the time I got to the end of the

day not only had me and the Lord talked

about this one verse a lot Not only was

it inscribed on my heart but it became

God’s word to me it became something

that really there was life in it wasn’t

just a verse I’d learned there was life

in it because me and God been talking

all day long for a couple of weeks about

the sentiments that he’d inscribed in in

this In this passage of scripture so I

think that idea of practicing the

presence of God it takes that guilt off

of I didn’t have my quiet time and it

didn’t look like this and it didn’t fit

in a comfortable little box well look do

it however you got to do it right

practice his presence all day long how

do we do that well number one by being

creative with how you can feed yourself

on his word so my sister five kids she’s

got this little clip on her dashboard

she’ll do the same thing write a three

by five card down with scripture and she

puts it in that clip and so you know

running errands for two hours every day

trying to get kids to soccer practice

and everything she’s just running face

to face um in face to face with this

with this verse over and over throughout

the scriptures when things come up in

the middle of the day that are problems

you might call a girlfriend about you

might you can still call her but also

call on God yeah just ask him about it

ask him about what scripture verse

applies to this particular uh

circumstance how would he want to lead

and guide you and you’ll be amazed how

you’ll begin to see the encounters that

you have the circumstances that that

align the little beckonings and

convictions of God’s spirit how they all

begin to work together to help you to

realize you actually are hearing God’s

voice and seeing his Providence as he

steers you in the direction of his will

for your life

I think we need to talk about people

pleasing yes

because we are supposed to be led and

guided by the Holy Spirit okay he

shows us

what to do and if we follow that boy

life is going to really

be good


so often we’ll choose pleasing people

over doing what we know God wants us to


or if you will even overdoing what we

want to do

you know it’s like how many people do

things and then

behind the scenes complain the whole

time they’re doing it my goodness so if

you’re doing things and you’re

complaining about it all the time then

guess what

you’re not doing it you’re not being


you’re not being you’re not being honest

with yourself you’re not you’re not

doing what you’re doing

for the right reason for the right

motive and in Corinthians it says that

when Jesus comes we’re all going to pass

before him and give an account of our

lives and the works that we’ve done that

were pure Works will be rewarded

but all the works that were not pure

will be burned up in the fire though you

yourself will be saved and so we’re not

saved by our works our Salvation is a

settled done deal but there are rewards

in heaven are the loss of rewards wow

and I don’t want to lose mine you know I

don’t want to still be in kindergarten

when I get there I want to have the best

of everything that God has so

it’s really important to me that I do

things because I really believe that God

wants me to or because I believe it’s

the right thing to do not just to keep

you from

getting mad at me because I’m so afraid

of rejection that I let everybody

control me just to feel like that I’m

being accepted can you give me a story

in your life where you

people pleased and now you recognized it

and you don’t do that anymore

well when I first

my first opportunity that I had in

public Ministry I worked at a church and

the man that I worked for was 10 years

younger than me and we both had our own

set of problems and we’re still friends


he would say the same thing but he uh

he remind his personality reminded me a

lot of my dad in that he was very strong


you just kind of felt like you better do

what he wants or

you know he might be out here well I so

wanted to minister didn’t want to lose

my job so I did a lot of things that

you know for example sometimes just


at church too much when I should have

said I really need to be home with my


you know there’s all kinds of things

that if we would just follow our heart

how good life would be but when you when

you have the fear of man

the fear of rejection the fear of being

talked about the fear of what they’re

going to think you end up and we do it

sometimes so fast we don’t even realize

we do it or we’ve done it so long we

don’t even realize we do it we

we please people to get what we think we

want another example Dave and I were

still in the we were lutherans

we were still in the Lutheran church and

they had a board of Elders and

boy I wanted my husband to be an elder


those were the important people in the

church and they were in the know they

knew everything well you had to be in

with this certain group if you were ever

going to get asked

to do that so I man I worked and

manipulated and pretended to get into

this certain group of people and you

know however you get your friends that’s

the way you’re gonna have to keep them

oh dear so if you have them if you buy

them by doing everything they want

then you’ll never be free

to follow the leadership of the Holy

Spirit you’ll always end up having to do

what they want well as soon as I was

filled with the spirit back in the 70s

and God called me to teach they were the

first ones to say

we’re out of here

they they weren’t really my friends they

didn’t want me to follow God they wanted

me to follow them and so

and let me just say this the longer that

you let somebody control you the harder

it is to break that

control so

as you listen today if you’re letting

someone control you and I hate that

because my father controlled me and and

I absolutely hated it but then I became

a controller it’s like the only way that

I could live without having fears if I

could control you and if I couldn’t

control you and you were stronger than

me then I’d let you control me and

that’s not the way God wants us to be I

don’t know if you figured it out Matt

but we’re pretty messed up until God

I think to even come to the point where

I can understand all that now yeah you

know because when you’re in it you don’t

understand it you’re just reacting and

you’re doing these things and you’re

miserable but you don’t know why yeah

Joyce you were doing a lot of that stuff

though out of a kind of potentially at

least a good space you weren’t doing it

I mean you you did say you did use the

word manipulation but at least you

thought that having status at church and

this and so you were people pleasing but

it felt like you were at least out of a

good motive or potentially good motive


God doesn’t care anything about status

yeah I mean even if if I was doing it

for status I was still doing it for the

wrong reason yeah

you know the thing I should have done is

prayed you know God if you want my

husband to be an elder in the church

then you make it happen I shouldn’t have

been manipulating and pretending and you

know being phony trying to Make It

Happen by playing up to all these people

that I didn’t even like

and uh I don’t even think we begin to

realize how much of that there is in the

business world how much is there of

pretending and doing all these things

you don’t don’t want to do just to get

the promotion that you want or even for


how many people will compromise their


in order to get the promotion that they