Priscilla Shirer, Joyce Meyer, and Shanté Tribbett empower you in your relationships to keep God as your source of love.
you’ll be amazed how you’ll begin to see
the encounters that you have the
circumstances that align the little
beckonings and convictions of God’s
spirit how they all begin to work
together to help you to realize you
actually are hearing God’s voice and
seeing his Providence as he steers you
in the direction of his will for your
life when you have the fear of man
the fear of rejection the fear of being
talked about the fear of what they’re
going to think you end up and we do it
sometimes so fast we don’t even realize
we do it or we’ve done it so long we
don’t even realize we do it we
we please people to get what we think we
want it’s important because God has a
plan for marriage and if I’m not in this
plan then I can’t really reap what I you
know what I feel like I I should read
foreign
[Music]
how do you grow together not grow apart
I think that’s interesting because even
though you’re married you’re still an
individual you know what I mean and um
with two different lifestyles
and I’m gonna make two different
Lifestyles let’s say I’m on the road a
lot you home with the kids that’s
two different experiences I’m gonna grow
in a certain way you’re going to grow in
another certain way right but the
communication of the thing is the
marriage of it making me aware of not
just what you do but how you feel and
feel when you did it that’s giving me
your soul that’s giving me you and
that’s how you grow with me because I’m
growing in this certain space I’m not
just telling you oh Chicago was amazing
babe I’m like yo I felt like it I did
yeah I I feel about it helps you grow
with me that communication we don’t
really have
in-depth communication like that I don’t
mean we I mean a lot of people marriages
don’t really go there we just have the
events I did this I took care of the
kids you’re never gonna say I was I was
here with the kids and I hated it no you
understand what sometimes you do
sometimes you’re like man I wish I I
wish I could have just you don’t hate
the kids but you know that you got to be
there and I’m just let me just make it
oh yeah okay disclaimer I don’t mean
that but that’s it’s those things that
help you grow together not just hey babe
how were you when I went I was just
cleaning the house to take care that’s
not that’s what you did that’s not you
yeah your feelings so I think you know
you know how why do people grow apart I
think people grow apart because they
don’t do things together like you can’t
just assume that because we just live
together or we see each other all the
time that that we are one like we have
to spend time quality time and not just
um
just time but quality time is what’s
going on with you what’s going on with
me
um like you said what what’s my emotions
what what’s what’s been bothering me
what’s been making me happy like just
because we’re not doing the same things
doesn’t mean we can’t communicate our
hearts and our feelings and our emotions
and if we consistently do that I feel
like you can grow together that way but
again if you’re using pride and you’re
not expressing your emotions and you’re
not expressing your feelings and how can
too work together except they’d be
agreed you got to agree on things talk
about things and just communicate and
that’s how you grow grow with your
friends you tell them everything you do
he ain’t home yeah I can’t believe you
know I’m not saying this all next they
may think that they know you more than
your spouse know you yeah like that’s my
friend that’s been my friend I knew her
longer than you but it’s because of the
feelings that they get the real feelings
yeah that communication that of that
place is necessary for growth together
totally yeah
foreign
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to regain the trust after it’s been lost
I think again is unique and as unique as
a fingerprint
um I do know dealing with our journey
that you cannot set a timer on when you
think they should all right all right
I’ve been doing this two weeks now you
should trust me by now you can’t
determine the the effect of the
infraction that’s true you can’t
determine the effect of the blow that
you uh it’s almost like a guy in the
choir you know we talk about it all the
time he was up there dancing when we had
the choir he’ll be up there dancing and
then boom he hit one of the one of the
females in the face with the back of his
fist
and he’s like oh I’m sorry I’m so sorry
I was just dancing it’s like yeah it’s
okay it’s cool we know you didn’t mean
it but it still hurts it still hurts I
Still Water and it might be red I might
need to sit down I can’t see right now
yeah so you can’t say just because I
didn’t mean it that it didn’t hurt that
it don’t hurt so you got to help heal it
yeah so it takes a lot of patience on
the one who is trying to gain the trust
back it takes a lot of patience you
can’t put a timeline on it uh you can’t
say are your eyes should be good by now
you no you you can’t do that and the
steps that it takes is is individual
you know what I’m saying hey FaceTime me
when you okay yeah accountability points
I like to call it exactly everybody has
their different needs again we all come
from different um upbringings and so we
all expect different things and so in
order for me to feel loved I may need my
spouse to do this or to say this or to
give me a gift or to spend quality time
or physical touch like we all need
different things so my my personal love
language okay let’s say I’ve been
offended or whatever and for me to feel
comfortable and to know that this person
still loves me still wants me is when
they do things for me kind of like um
I forget what it’s called acts of
service so basically if somebody’s doing
something for me and I didn’t have to
ask them then I know they’re thinking
about me but that’s not everybody so oh
I come downstairs thinking I’m about to
take out the trash and the trash was
already taken out and then to me I feel
like oh wow they love me but to somebody
else that’s normal so each scenario is
different for each person you just gotta
know what your needs are
period that’s what I think I love that
yeah
[Music]
well what God did to me in my heart when
I was separated from my husband during a
certain time was he showed me that all
his promises that he promised me only
came through being married to my husband
and so we have separate you know things
are different so we have different
promises so when I’m single I have a
different lifestyle maybe a different
relationship or expectations from God
but then when I’m married there’s
another type of favor and there there
are other things that come with marriage
there are benefits that comes with
marriage so then I won’t have those
benefits if I’m not with this person I
won’t be as as blessed as I heard God
tell me I was going to be if I’m not
with this person so it’s important
because God has a a plan for marriage
and if I’m not in this plan then I can’t
really reap what I you know what I feel
like I I should reap or reap what he
told me to reap so I’d rather be one
with this person in order for God to
bless us this way because he has a plan
for us he didn’t have a plan for me when
I was single his plan was for me to be
married and to be with this man for a
bigger purpose and so I feel like that’s
that’s what’s important to keep us
together and growing together and being
together is following God’s plan
for our life I think for me when we were
separated my focus was oh my Lord how do
I get it back how do I get the marriage
and God’s Focus was this is you how do I
get it back what should I say should I
say this is you oh my Lord he was
showing me like yo got it you have to
deal with this got it at this point I
don’t mean sexual right your emotions I
didn’t know me I knew the director the
musician the Holy Ghost Field boy I
knewan I knew the brother I didn’t know
I didn’t know Ty because she was so
tucked in the back from all the unmanned
yeah I put so many versions of me in
front of me and he was just pilling them
all back how do I get it back should I
call her should I send a text should I
buy her a car
he was not focused on the marriage at
all because I think the whole time he
knew that’s going to be there but you’re
not gonna go back the same so he really
really dealt with me on who I am in my
secret place the real me the authentic
me so that I can be that when we came
back I don’t think God I mean course God
knows all things so he knew we we will
be back together but he didn’t want me
to come back the same way you understand
what I’m saying the same tendency with
the same you know what I mean it could
happen again so uh I feel like God
really really really really really
really really really really
stripped me down and I hated every layer
of people out like
you know what I’m saying I I just I just
hated everyone and I’m glad he did that
so I could see that and I could see him
coming on you know what I’m saying I
mean even an offense or a confusion and
things like that he showed me me yeah
and I’m grateful for that you know what
I mean but it’s benefits to that when
God show you you it’s not just for the
imagination it’s better for you become
an Israel exactly it’s better for me
it’s better for us when we have to
change and get better God knows what it
takes and he knows sometimes that we
won’t change if we’re by ourselves but
he he understands that he put that in us
when we when we need to help another
person or do something for another
person it’s easier it seems like to
change for somebody else than to just
change for yourself and so there’s a
motive there and so that’s why God put
that don’t be afraid of that change
everybody if God is showing you yourself
like Jacob wrestled with an angel or a
man until the break of the day who was
your name he called himself what he did
and who he was I’m Jacob I’m trickster
on the liar on the on the hill catcher
said no more even if you were that up
until this encounter no more let God
stripped down the layers let him show
you the ugly you that we avoid real
quick and we’d rather be this person
we’d rather post another version of
ourselves let him deal with the real you
and a lot of times just like that story
Jacob is so stubborn our old man and our
old self is so stubborn that God gotta
break something you know what I’m saying
here to break our marriage before a
minute to get Advanced to gain an
advantage yeah like to get ahead of us
man it’s strong Jacob is strong let me
break something so I can get you to
listen and get you to hear me so allow
God to do the breaking allow God to do
the revealing of who you are because
you’re going to come out Israel you’re
going to come out better you don’t feel
like it in the process it don’t seem
like it in a process and we do not like
it this little flesh that ain’t really
you hates it it’s enmity perfect perfect
hatred against the spirit so you’re
never going to enjoy it uh that’s why
you have to walk and live in the spirit
and then you’ll understand it so allow
that break and allow that stripping and
allow him to make you better
that’s right yeah I like it
[Music]
I don’t want to be generic but how do we
start to heal when we’ve been offended
or
um or anything like that and I and I
believe that
it’s just the the Brokenness like God
said he draws an eye to a a contrite
heart and a broken spirit and when we we
can still go through things and hurt and
feel pain but still go through it in a
humble way basically like without Christ
and without God you’re not fully going
to be healed or get through it he’s the
mender of broken heart so it’s not just
about time it’s about quality of time so
quality time with God will help you
start your process of healing now
healing is a journey it’s not just one
day and it’s over it’s a journey it’s a
fight and so Walking with God is going
to soften that and it’s going to help
you get through it and that’s what I
believe and we talked earlier about
unmet needs and how God supplies your
needs through the spouse sometimes
so a lot of times when you have this
unmet need and this Gap avoid in your
life that God supplies through your
spouse when that bends you and hurts you
it’s like the cavity is way deeper but
we have to understand a lot of times
that our help that God supplies our
needs like sometimes our help is in a
human that’s still a human so God’s
Supply is still coming through a human
so it’s it’s not an amazing thought to
think that your help is coming through
somebody’s flawed oh wow but that’s a
humbling thought and a realization that
we need on every level you’re gonna love
your kid this child is going to make me
the proudest mom your answer is coming
through something flawed so I know her
offense is there but forgiveness can
take place in God’s timing he’s the only
one the Bible says that he’s the mender
of the broken hearts he mends the heart
not the restoration of the marriage is
the healing of it he God heals your
heart turn to the Lord aggressively and
let them direct your paths but
understand even though he was that or
she was that to you and it might have
dropped or it may have you know uh Mr
Mark understand even your help and your
love and your support and your and your
boot is a human being that is already
flawed that needs to help in the leading
of the Holy Spirit of the Lord that’s
right and that’ll help you again with
perspective on how to love them like oh
they they got a minute oh they need a
little more like a oh they you know what
I mean it doesn’t override the
infraction right it just helps it just
helps the the process as you go on your
journey of healing it is possible it’s
happening with us it could happen with
you God is not a respecter of persons
and he loves us too much to let us lead
this life hurt that’s right heal you and
make you whole be healed behold in Jesus
name amen so uh father we just
acknowledge you right now God and we
just pray Lord God that you would begin
to touch the heart of the person the
male or female that may be
still dealing with the unforgiveness
Lord God you said that you wanted to
heal us from Stony Hearts God and so
father I pray that for that individual
that you will begin to remove each Stone
out of their heart a stone of
unforgiveness and a stone of anger and a
stone of rejection and all of those
stones that we feel that make our heart
heavy father we pray that you break up
the ground the hard ground in their
heart and give him the heart of Flesh
God the Lord God so that the pride can
leave as well from their Stony heart God
and that they’ll have a heart of Flesh a
Heart of Love A Heart of of acceptance a
heart of unconditional love in the name
of Jesus father I pray that even right
now that you will go to their heart and
touch each and every person’s heart Lord
allow them to fill your comfort in their
heart allow them to know that you care
even about their emotional trauma and
their physical pain everything Lord God
I pray that the holy spirit will even
now move and lay on them and hover over
them like you did in the beginning of
time that they know that you are there
allow them to fill you Lord God I pray
in the name of Jesus allow them to be
whole and entire lack in nothing Lord
God and just keep them give them
strength and they will be strong in the
name of Jesus we pray I was hearing this
as you was praying forgiveness is at the
beginning of the Journey of healing it’s
not at the end of it amen so after you
heal then you forgive no yeah
forgiveness is the decision you make
before you even start the Journey of
restoration and healing there’s still a
journey there’s still a process after
the decision just like salvation but
make the decision today I will forgive I
will forgive them their trespasses uh
God you forgive me my trespasses as we
forgive those who trespass against us so
my decision is forgiveness at the
beginning now there has to be a journey
of restoration and healing but choose to
forget today in Jesus name by the help
of the holy spirit amen amen
foreign
it occurred to me that while I did value
prayer I had neglected intentionality
with prayer being strategic in prayer
actually trying to detect where you see
the enemy’s fingerprints at kind of as
handiwork meddling in your life where
you anticipate he might want to take
advantage of a weakness or a or a a bit
of divisiveness and just being mindful
of that so that when we pray we’re not
just randomly saying words that we’ve
heard all along or words that we’ve kind
of memorized along the way or words that
are comfortable to us but we’re actually
um praying in a way that is targeted
it’s kind of exactly what you described
a few moments doing the work to find the
promises of God that actually apply in
everything that we know intentional
prayer and then writing it down
sometimes we need to write our prayers
down only because it keeps us focused it
reminds us what we’re praying about you
know so when it’s posted there in that
war room and you come back in there day
after day you’re reminded this is your
prayer this is where you’re focusing
your um your prayer life on and until I
see an answer I’m gonna keep praying
this prayer it also gives you a great
track record with God because then when
God does answer you can see that date at
the top of that page of when you started
praying that and then you’ll be able to
put a date down of when God answered
however in his sovereignty he chose to
what a great track record not just for
you but your grandchildren and your
great-grandchildren to see how Grandmama
or Grandpa prayed and believed that God
would answer wow I think the thing I
loved about or you know even the prayer
because in Ephesians 6 it talks about
the armor you know which we’re familiar
with but then
and it’s not the the the prayer that’s
oh God why you know the whining I mean
you can do that for a minute because
maybe we all need to whine for a minute
complain to God because honestly the
Psalms David complained for a bit I mean
you know he went he went on a journey
with God he was intimate and real with
his pain and Agony before God and then
there’s got to be a rising up then there
has to be a point where you that’s the
thing so at some point yes could do the
complaining but at some point you have
to begin speaking the truth of what God
has to say about your marriage about
your health and about your family about
reconciliation I just remember even that
for me with just some situations and you
know family and extended family that was
hard it was so hard and and I remember
moments of you know the complaining
before God because of course I was
perfect and they were the problems well
everybody else needs to change yes would
it would really help out my life totally
um but so I you know complained but then
I started you know talking about pulling
out the scriptures that talked about
unity and Reconciliation and and
together and faithfulness and just
declaring that and I’ve seen God do what
only he could do yeah in the lives of
people I mean I saw it in my health but
I was also seen it in relationships with
people and so I just think that
that if if people understood more about
the power you know some people say well
all I can just pray no no that’s not all
about the thing to do right is right
second
um Second Chronicles 7 14 If my people
right who are called by my name humble
themselves and pray yeah right then he’s
going to heal our land we’re too busy
complaining about our land and our
government and all that’s happening it’s
like well you can complain but if you
prayed as much as you complained maybe
we would see something different and you
know what if I were your enemy what I’d
want to do is devalue in your mind the
potency of what I know to be the most
powerful weapon you have against me so
he’s made our churches focus on being a
house of great programs or a house of
great preaching and a house of great
singing when they’re supposed to be a
house of prayer because it’s the prayer
that pushes back the kingdom of darkness
so if I were the enemy that’s exactly
what I do I devalue what I knew was the
most potent weapon that you had in Your
Arsenal against me so we do everything
first except pray pray and so for you uh
personally so how do you
when do you when do you pray are you a
late at night person are you the middle
of the day person are you well I don’t
know you first of all lest anyone think
that my life is you know I’m up on a
Mountaintop
yeah that’s right
um my life is very much like everybody
else’s that it’s his laundries and
laundry and kids and it’s kind of that
thing where you know once your feet hit
the floor in the morning it’s over it’s
just full on for the rest of the day
right and so
um I have this ongoing actually part of
my prayer is Lord would you continue to
help me to prioritize this in my life
because it can so easily kind of get
pushed off of the that position of
priority so I just say Lord I need you
to stir I don’t want to manufacture
passion I want you to stir in me a
passion to where I don’t want to go a
day without prioritizing prayer and then
hearing back from you listening to you
through the scriptures and so I try to
do that in the morning because it seems
like that’s the best time if I wait till
the end of the day it ain’t gonna happen
no that’s the same with me no if I don’t
if the morning if I if it doesn’t happen
then yeah then it just gets it’s like if
it doesn’t happen just the very first
time I know then once you get going
but I will say I learned a bit from
Brother Lawrence that you know Age Old
Saint from that book practicing the
presence of God that really just gives
us freedom lifts that burden off of us
of feeling like if we don’t have an hour
to spend with the Lord at the beginning
of the day that it’s a waste of time to
practice God’s presence all day long yes
so my kids are a little bit older now
but I went through a season four five
six years there where I would just write
down scripture verse on a three by five
card the same one on five different
cards maybe and I’d put one on the
bathroom mirror where I’d be washing
little hands all day one where I was
going to be doing the dishes one where I
was folding clothes one near the sandbox
outside and I just would have the same
verse for like two weeks so everywhere I
went I was just running into this verse
and by the time I got to the end of the
day not only had me and the Lord talked
about this one verse a lot Not only was
it inscribed on my heart but it became
God’s word to me it became something
that really there was life in it wasn’t
just a verse I’d learned there was life
in it because me and God been talking
all day long for a couple of weeks about
the sentiments that he’d inscribed in in
this In this passage of scripture so I
think that idea of practicing the
presence of God it takes that guilt off
of I didn’t have my quiet time and it
didn’t look like this and it didn’t fit
in a comfortable little box well look do
it however you got to do it right
practice his presence all day long how
do we do that well number one by being
creative with how you can feed yourself
on his word so my sister five kids she’s
got this little clip on her dashboard
she’ll do the same thing write a three
by five card down with scripture and she
puts it in that clip and so you know
running errands for two hours every day
trying to get kids to soccer practice
and everything she’s just running face
to face um in face to face with this
with this verse over and over throughout
the scriptures when things come up in
the middle of the day that are problems
you might call a girlfriend about you
might you can still call her but also
call on God yeah just ask him about it
ask him about what scripture verse
applies to this particular uh
circumstance how would he want to lead
and guide you and you’ll be amazed how
you’ll begin to see the encounters that
you have the circumstances that that
align the little beckonings and
convictions of God’s spirit how they all
begin to work together to help you to
realize you actually are hearing God’s
voice and seeing his Providence as he
steers you in the direction of his will
for your life
I think we need to talk about people
pleasing yes
because we are supposed to be led and
guided by the Holy Spirit okay he
shows us
what to do and if we follow that boy
life is going to really
be good
but
so often we’ll choose pleasing people
over doing what we know God wants us to
do
or if you will even overdoing what we
want to do
you know it’s like how many people do
things and then
behind the scenes complain the whole
time they’re doing it my goodness so if
you’re doing things and you’re
complaining about it all the time then
guess what
you’re not doing it you’re not being
authentic
you’re not being you’re not being honest
with yourself you’re not you’re not
doing what you’re doing
for the right reason for the right
motive and in Corinthians it says that
when Jesus comes we’re all going to pass
before him and give an account of our
lives and the works that we’ve done that
were pure Works will be rewarded
but all the works that were not pure
will be burned up in the fire though you
yourself will be saved and so we’re not
saved by our works our Salvation is a
settled done deal but there are rewards
in heaven are the loss of rewards wow
and I don’t want to lose mine you know I
don’t want to still be in kindergarten
when I get there I want to have the best
of everything that God has so
it’s really important to me that I do
things because I really believe that God
wants me to or because I believe it’s
the right thing to do not just to keep
you from
getting mad at me because I’m so afraid
of rejection that I let everybody
control me just to feel like that I’m
being accepted can you give me a story
in your life where you
people pleased and now you recognized it
and you don’t do that anymore
well when I first
my first opportunity that I had in
public Ministry I worked at a church and
the man that I worked for was 10 years
younger than me and we both had our own
set of problems and we’re still friends
and
he would say the same thing but he uh
he remind his personality reminded me a
lot of my dad in that he was very strong
and
you just kind of felt like you better do
what he wants or
you know he might be out here well I so
wanted to minister didn’t want to lose
my job so I did a lot of things that
you know for example sometimes just
being
at church too much when I should have
said I really need to be home with my
family
you know there’s all kinds of things
that if we would just follow our heart
how good life would be but when you when
you have the fear of man
the fear of rejection the fear of being
talked about the fear of what they’re
going to think you end up and we do it
sometimes so fast we don’t even realize
we do it or we’ve done it so long we
don’t even realize we do it we
we please people to get what we think we
want another example Dave and I were
still in the we were lutherans
we were still in the Lutheran church and
they had a board of Elders and
boy I wanted my husband to be an elder
because
those were the important people in the
church and they were in the know they
knew everything well you had to be in
with this certain group if you were ever
going to get asked
to do that so I man I worked and
manipulated and pretended to get into
this certain group of people and you
know however you get your friends that’s
the way you’re gonna have to keep them
oh dear so if you have them if you buy
them by doing everything they want
then you’ll never be free
to follow the leadership of the Holy
Spirit you’ll always end up having to do
what they want well as soon as I was
filled with the spirit back in the 70s
and God called me to teach they were the
first ones to say
we’re out of here
they they weren’t really my friends they
didn’t want me to follow God they wanted
me to follow them and so
and let me just say this the longer that
you let somebody control you the harder
it is to break that
control so
as you listen today if you’re letting
someone control you and I hate that
because my father controlled me and and
I absolutely hated it but then I became
a controller it’s like the only way that
I could live without having fears if I
could control you and if I couldn’t
control you and you were stronger than
me then I’d let you control me and
that’s not the way God wants us to be I
don’t know if you figured it out Matt
but we’re pretty messed up until God
I think to even come to the point where
I can understand all that now yeah you
know because when you’re in it you don’t
understand it you’re just reacting and
you’re doing these things and you’re
miserable but you don’t know why yeah
Joyce you were doing a lot of that stuff
though out of a kind of potentially at
least a good space you weren’t doing it
I mean you you did say you did use the
word manipulation but at least you
thought that having status at church and
this and so you were people pleasing but
it felt like you were at least out of a
good motive or potentially good motive
right
God doesn’t care anything about status
yeah I mean even if if I was doing it
for status I was still doing it for the
wrong reason yeah
you know the thing I should have done is
prayed you know God if you want my
husband to be an elder in the church
then you make it happen I shouldn’t have
been manipulating and pretending and you
know being phony trying to Make It
Happen by playing up to all these people
that I didn’t even like
and uh I don’t even think we begin to
realize how much of that there is in the
business world how much is there of
pretending and doing all these things
you don’t don’t want to do just to get
the promotion that you want or even for
believers
how many people will compromise their
morals
in order to get the promotion that they
want