Priscilla is our special guest for the next week to talk about the “Resolution for Women”series and package following up on the movie Courageous.
we need a week of programs for today’s
resolution to be the kind of woman who
truly blesses her man look at the
wording I will be faithful to my husband
and honor him in my conduct and
conversation in order to bring glory to
the name of the Lord I will aspire to be
a suitable partner for him to help him
reach his god-given potential for Silla
Shire has been making this her goal for
12 years I’m sure you have been
fulfilling your husband for 12 years I
should tell you beyond a shadow of a
doubt that there have been several
seasons of our marriage where I have not
been fulfilling my husband in the way
that he would like to be fulfilled and I
think if you were to just ask your
husband in fact that’s the best way to
figure out how to fulfill your man it
should just say to him what is it that
you need to feel loved and admired by me
I bet we know what will be at the top of
all of their lists I’m pretty sure we
can and we do yeah very clear on that
and that’s okay because like we feel
fulfilled when they engage in
conversation with us maybe spend quality
time with us that same feeling of
fulfillment and IDI and umm completion
as a woman almost you just come makes
you feel like you can take on the world
when your man is with you in that way
that’s the same way he feels when we
love him in a way that is specific to
his love language so we all know that
you know we’re kind of clear on that so
I didn’t spend a whole lot of time
talking about sex in the book I just
didn’t do this
we already I mean what do we really need
to discuss this we already know that
that is a way that we can bless our men
and so I say just get after that part I
mean just go ahead and get after it and
be a blessing to your husband but kind
of a way that we talked about a little
bit less is our conversation to our
husband and our conversation about our
husband if you were having a
conversation the issue isn’t if you’re
having a conversation with another
girlfriend the two of you are chuckling
in a corner is your husband for sure
that that conversation is not about him
well he know just because of the
confidence that he has in you as his
wife as someone that’s got his back can
he be assured of the fact that that
conversation that little giggle between
two women he knows his wife is not
talking about him behind his back as he
that secure in you
he should be that secure in us
that’s a way that they are fulfilled
when they know that their wives are
honoring them not only in their conduct
but also in their conversation and this
is so amplified when you highlight the
man’s two greatest fears
absolutely and listen I did not come up
with these fears one of my friends and
mentors Miss Kay Arthur who’s been
teaching the Bible for 50 years I mean
goodness gracious she’s just a treasure
she said this to me once she said
Priscilla a man’s greatest fears two of
them the fear of being controlled by a
woman and the fear of being found
inadequate well when you know going into
a relationship with your husband are
currently in a relationship with your
husband when you know upfront that those
are his two fears that somebody’s going
to figure out he’s inadequate or that
he’ll be controlled by a woman then you
can go into your relationship and spend
your time trying to dispel those fears
to let him know that you do not want to
control him that you trust him that he
is your hero that he that you really
believe he can accomplish the task at
hand
even if you do have some reservations
about that even if you do think you
might be able to handle something better
than he can when you dispel his fear you
will find that the repercussions of him
knowing that you believe in him and
don’t want to control him but want to
honor him and place faith in him the
repercussions of that really come back
on you a hundredfold of a man who really
feels like he’s married to a woman that
believes he’s capable and then if he
recognizes that that you really care for
him even in spite of his inadequacy
inadequacies that you’re not going to be
pointing them out bringing his
weaknesses to the forefront Milley
aiding him humiliating him because the
thing is he knows he’s inadequate in
different areas just like you and I know
we’re inadequate in different areas
nobody like someone who will point out
their inadequacies and make a huge
spectacle out of them but oftentimes
don’t we do that we kind of bring their
weaknesses to the forefront over and
over and over again and you and I
wouldn’t want to be married to somebody
like that so we shouldn’t be those kind
of wives to be married it really
emasculates them the male ego needs
support
it does and that’s part of the reason
we’re there you know the day after my
husband proposed to me over 22 years ago
he came to visit and he had cold feet
all over his face
oh oh cuz we thinking this yeah and I
said what are you afraid of do you know
what he said
loss of control hmm you see it’s wired
right into the man and what happens to
the man when we usurp that position they
relinquished the position and it becomes
frustrating for us because what happens
is now we’ve got to take on this
leadership position because our husbands
aren’t doing and we’re upset because
they’re not doing it and we’re pointing
a figure you need to lead but really
it’s the exact position we snatched
right out of their hands and so then
we’re frustrating because we’re taking
on a role that we were never meant to
take on but we’re the ones who snatched
it out of their hands and they shut down
and they shut down and it doesn’t mean
that we excuse the fact that they have
shut down they need to be encouraged to
continue to step up into that position
regardless of what their wives are doing
so I’m not excusing that but the
resolution for women is a book not
written for your husband it is written
for you so I’m challenging wives to give
back that position of leadership to your
husband now he’s showing no signs of
initiative right no interest whatever in
in whatever aspect of yes what do you do
now it will be I’m not saying that this
is an easy task
but in small ways if you can begin to
give back the control we’re something he
would expect you to do because you’ve
been doing it for so long if you just
said oh no babe you you do it you know
what I mean I think I would love to see
how you what decision you’re gonna make
regard that what do you want to do if
you begin slowly and surely to put that
control back into their hands you will
find that maybe not immediately but over
time you will begin to see that man’s
chest puffing out again in that
particular area
his confidence being restored because
he’s got a woman by his side who
actually trusts and believes that he
makes decisions that are worth someone
following you have a 24 Hour Challenge
on page 196 I do do you need to look at
it to do though I remember the challenge
because it was my own personal challenge
for myself it was so hard and it was for
24 hours not to correct or criticize or
try to revamp any decisions that your
husband makes so this means even in
small things if he’s the one choosing
what restaurant to go to dinner you
don’t say I don’t really feel like that
let’s go somewhere else or here’s the
hard one Moira it’s when you’re driving
in a
are and you know that the route that
they are choosing is the longest
possible route to get to the destination
and you know that there is an easier
route it is restraining yourself for 24
hours from telling that man how to get
there and where to go but allowing him
to choose his own path or he gets your
little girl dressed and it’s a disaster
but you don’t correct it you don’t put
it all back together you don’t get a new
outfit you just let everything be now
I’m going to tell you I had a friend who
did this for 30 days and she did it for
the hardest 30 days of the entire year
it was over the Christmas it was like
over December oh no for 30 days about
your season oh my gosh there’s so many
decisions to be made Christmas pictures
to decide on she let him make all the
decisions and in doing so it was so hard
for her but in doing so she saw her
husband’s confident confidence rebuilt
in the fact that he believed that he had
a wife that trusted him and the result
of that on a marriage is staggering
there is nothing better than a man that
actually feels like one when you’re
married to a man who feels like a man
there are the effects of that they’re
gonna benefit you it’s not really about
him in the end it’s about you win yeah
you win when a man feels like a man the
passion the intimacy that we so desire
all of that ripple effects come back
comes back on us because a man likes to
feel like you’re hero like your guardian
and like your protector and so if you’ll
give him back the reins of leadership
you will see that you will begin to feel
like the woman that you really want to
feel like in the relationship won’t be
easy but it’ll be worth it now I have to
squeeze in one goodie from this section
okay because there may be someone who
like you is energetic and effervescent
and they’re saying well this biblical
stuff I don’t know like the Bible also
says that a beautiful woman has a gentle
and quiet spirit and that’s just not who
I am like stuff doesn’t fit me oh that
was a problem for you too it sure was I
was thinking God was not being fair when
he wrote that passage or had that
passage written in first Peter because I
mean there is nothing quiet or gentle
about me and so I thought well God if
you didn’t make my personality this way
why in the world would you expect that
out of me that’s not fair
but if he has it written that means it
is possible by his spirit for every
single one of us regardless of what our
personality currently is to be able to
subject ourselves to that that
particular standard and what I
discovered
is that that gentleness I loved this
description in scripture in the original
languages it talks about gentleness
being the kind of person who really is
able to cause someone to have their load
or their burden lifted it’s a load
lifter is what it is if we go into our
relationship with our husbands realizing
that today my responsibility is to lift
the load I’m a load lifter what do I
need to do how can I use my personality
in a way that is conducive to him
helpful to him helps to lift the burden
that he’s so carrying as the leader of
this home the protector of this home man
he’s got a lot on his shoulders and so
do you my friend but our responsibility
is to be the load lifter to that guy
what can I do to be a blessing to him to
lift that burden off of his shoulders
just a little bit so that what he’s
carrying isn’t so heavy just a taste of
the insights every page is yummy and I
can say that for both books the
resolution for men the resolution for
women take a look at this I want to know
what God expects of me the resolution
for men by Steven and Alex Kendrick
strategically inspires men to reconcile
with their past re-engage in their
present and move forward with a bold
resolution for the future the resolution
for women by priscilla shirer challenges
all women to be intentional about
thriving in god’s calling on their lives
to bless and change things in their
world for the better the resolution for
men and women is a movement intended to
help strengthen your family community
and our nation to become fully resolved
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