A beloved actress, writer and speaker, Lisa Whelchel has captured the hearts of fans since she was thirteen years old. For nine years, Lisa starred as Blair Warner on “The Facts of Life” and went on to become a popular author and speaker. She continues to be in the spotlight and recently participated in CBS’s “Survivor: Philippines” hit series. Join Priscilla Shirer and Lisa Whelchel for this fun episode of The Chat!

going to be a great opportunity for us

to get to know each other even better I

always love when you come to the chat

with Priscilla we’re going to sit down

in our virtual living room and have a

great conversation with a wonderful

guest you’re going to want to stay tuned

okay so grab your favorite drink

cappuccino hot tea coffee you know

whatever it is you’ve got and get

comfortable we’re gonna have a great

time together

you were here we’re gonna have a great

time together today because we are gonna

be talking to one of my favorite people

on the planet she is funny she’s warm

she’s had influence on lots of people

for lots of years you’re going to

recognize her as soon as you see her

please welcome Lisa Whelchel okay I

gotta tell you right off the bat that

this woman is my friend she is my friend

she is just a delightful person we have

known each other for about 10 years now

and throughout that time I have watched

you transition for many phases of life

and the reality is though people who

have only seen you from afar have

watched you transition through large

portions of your life yes those who have

known me longer than you exactly right

because you know I wasn’t even born yet

everybody remembers the facts of life

didn’t you grow up watching the facts of

life okay wonderful program and you

played Blair and you know we might as

well just start there okay I know most

of your images probably start there and

I got to ask you because Blair was this

icon of de mujer I’m sophisticated you

know she just kind of had it all

together and you played her so well how

is she different than Lisa Wilson

whelchel are you because I think you’re

inferring that there is something

different because do you don’t think I’m

the mirror I’m bothers well can we just

say that you look amazing you all agree

that she look we could totally say that

amazing take it I actually think you you

don’t look that much different than you

did in 80 week and you you look you look

wonderful I want to talk about that a

little bit later on how you have you

know as women our bodies change so much

yeah hormones and all that stuff just

kind of changes throughout life and yet

you’ve done a great job of just taking

care of yourself so I do want to talk

about that okay but I want yeah no I’m

totally different from Blair you are oh

yes

this is Blair’s out dress I don’t I had

to borrow this from Blair otherwise I

would be in my pajama pants and my Crocs

in my t-shirt which is kind of my go-to

I’ll go to the show like why didn’t we

do that we should have won t-shirts and

we totally should have I I don’t know I

mean I’ve got it

so you’re much more comfortable just oh

yeah yeah like these shoes they will be

off in five seconds yes this is we I

walk off here halfway through I’m

they’re off and tell us about that time

frame in your life when you were on of

the set of facts of life you were a

Christian even then yes what did that

look like in Hollywood for you as how

did you have to navigate loving the Lord

and living for him and yet being in this

setting where I’m assuming that the

majority of people that you were around

especially at the height of your fame

when you couldn’t even you can’t even go

to the grocery store without you know

everybody being around you and how are

you able to balance both of those things

or were you able to do it well you know

what it wasn’t an issue I think because

I became a Christian before I went to

California and so it really wasn’t like

I went to Hollywood to kind of become

famous I really did know I was a child

of God don’t get much more famous than

that I didn’t go looking for Who I am I

knew who I was I didn’t go looking for

something to fulfill me I had you know

something that filled me up so there was

not a lot of there wasn’t a lot of

emptiness for me to go try to fill up

and so I didn’t you know go down the

pads looking for something and I wasn’t

even that interested in it and so it

wasn’t I mean I had my issues but I

would have had those issues staying in

Texas that really had nothing to do with

Hollywood so you were born in Texas yes

grew up most of your life in Texas yes I

mean you’re young years until you get

adopted when I was 12

moved to California to be on the new

Mickey Mouse Club and then stayed out

there until I had kids in junior high

moved back to Texas to raise them and

then just now moving to have her

children when she was in junior high she

means when her kids were in junior high

because otherwise I would have had

something to talk about how was I able

to balance apparently not so you had

your children you got married right

after the the series ended I mean it was

like that same year we filmed the last

episode the facts of life in March of 88

I got married in July of 88 got pregnant

89 that had child in 90 91 and 92 yeah

so obviously mrs. Garrett taught me the

facts of life

okay this is a huge life transition

because you’re going from this Hollywood

lots of attention your way being on the

set you have spent nine years was at

nine years you don’t y’all film in

series so you you’ve got a whole life

change very quickly because now you’re a

wife and you’re a mom and you’re gonna

later on in your children’s life you

move to Texas so you’re out of the

limelight completely but when your

children were young that first decade

you made huge life change from facts of

life to wife and mom what did that look

like for you nothing was the same

because I did I went from you know

having somebody do my hair my makeup and

my clothes and the whole world you know

kind of my little world revolved around

me too almost immediately getting

married and then having these three kids

in in diapers at one time and I lost all

the money that I made on the facts of

life I wasn’t working we were living on

a pastor’s salary in a rented house

because we couldn’t afford the down

payment for to buy a house okay wait

wait wait wait stop right there okay we

want to know how in the world all the

money that you made from the facts of

life got lost somewhere we just

defecated all that make up something

really glamorous and dramatic but it

really was just bad investments and you

know people that kind of took advantage

and then you know I’m not a big spender

but I’m not good with money either so

all of it just you know it just kind of

flittered flitted away I wanted I had to

do with a in a real estate went bad in

the banking crisis the oil crisis all

that just all at one time it was one of

those perfect storms kind of thing and

was it devastating to you or were you

kind of at the place in your life where

it was okay because you were moving on

to something different and you knew that

you could regroup and rebuild yeah you

know I think I’ve always dug just wired

that way I’m wired two for one thing I

think it’s one of the reasons why God

tells us to remember his the things he’s

done for us in the past so when we’re in

the middle of it we’re not gonna go oh

noes God gonna show up I mean I have

just so many stories from the time I was

little of God coming through that no

matter what happens it’s like okay you

know what he’s gonna come through I

don’t know how but he’s going to and

lesson the desert time the wilderness

time I’m going to get they’re going to

be treasures there in the darkness that

I wouldn’t be able to get if things were

all going well so I mean it just has

been naturally easy for me because I do

have such a real vital understanding of

God’s love for me and who he is that I

just say okay what is here to learn here

and I’ll learn what needs to be learned

here and everything will turn out okay

and it always does

okay I want to get back to your I want

to get back to your children and where

you were in your life as a new mom in

just a second but I’ve got to ask you

this question we see so many young

people in Hollywood that their life just

turns out to be a disaster there are

several I can name right now that you’re

starting to see them kind of go off the

deep end and you’re going oh man I wish

they had some people around them that

would kind of harness them during this

tender phase in their life how did you

escape the loopholes that a lot of the

child stars that we know from the 80s

didn’t have the opportunity to escape

and so how did it happen what do you

account that to you know I think two

things I think commenting on some of the

kids that are you see them kind of going

off the path right now that is not

abnormal for kids at that age it’s just

that they are covered by the notice yeah

right and so then it’s kind of amplified

but you know you look at any Christian

high school you know a household how far

the kids are going to go that way half

of the kids are going to go this way and

they’re raised the same way by the same

parents and so if your event filming it

then then this is going to get

dramatized and and so it’s going to look

like oh they’re going haywire well

follow them long enough maybe into their

40s and at 40 they’re going to probably

go through it and maybe not be in you

know in the limelight so I would it be

careful of just saying oh they’re going

off the deep end because I haven’t

raised three kids you know there I’ve

got some kids that are trying to find

their way on their own and I have some

kids they’re doing the straight and

narrow and I just think there’s room for

all of that because God works in in all

of that now for me I think I was too

scared to do that you know I think I and

also because I was

I was on my own I was clinging to God

and I think that’s another thing

sometimes you know parents get judged

because their kids are experimenting and

that may be because they feel safe

enough to it maybe because they feel

they are loved and they are accepted and

it’s not based on their performance or

whether they’re good or they’re back it

was based on your performance parts of

dairy my god to total that was very much

the kind of I understood my head grace

but I didn’t really trust it

and so yes it kept me out of trouble but

it also in a lot of ways kept me from

just resting in the gift of grace and

you know so it’s just have to be careful

with you know what you again I think we

were talking at this backstage what you

call good and what you call bad that’s

up to God to judge yeah yep okay so you

got through that phase in your life I

thought through that page also because I

really was I learned at an early age

just to have the time in the in the more

in the morning just in the word and in

prayer and filling you’ll do that for a

set I would do it before I got to the

set you would yeah and so that was a so

again that also there wasn’t this

emptiness I didn’t go looking in to fill

that out with drugs or with alcohol or

with boys there I just I felt I filled

up with the Lord and so I wasn’t empty

in searching and so that did keep me

from going down paths that could have

been destructive and you know one thing

that you told me a long time ago that I

thought was very interesting was that

you know if you are just in the past ten

years of your life or so encountering

real meaningful girlfriend deep

relationship you did not have that for

the majority of your life and was that

because of the position you were in that

you just didn’t have connection and

intimacy in female relationships that

was a part of it but I think also I was

really shy and that’s why I started

acting because my mom put me in acting

class to see if it would help me just

kind of come out of myself because I was

too afraid to talk to anybody and so I

think there was I built this shell of

protection around

which also kept people out and it wasn’t

until the last ten years as I began to

experience grace and not just know it in

my head but when you and know you’re

accepted kind of like what I said

earlier about kids if they know they’re

accepted then they can maybe make some

mistakes and it’s not so detrimental

well I was so afraid of making a mistake

in my life that I kept really small and

so I think that I just felt more

accepted and more what grace was like so

I didn’t have to be so afraid and then

let some of the barriers down and some

of the self-protection down and that’s

the only way that you can have real

connection and intimacy anyway and so it

was all kind of I was on television

junior high and high school and didn’t

go to a normal school so I didn’t know

how to have friendships anyway and that

paid it played a big part of it as well

so it was all you know all working

together given everything you know now

looking back on it if you could rewrite

the story again would you do it again

have you ever felt overwhelmed or like

your life was so stress filled and

stressful that you just you couldn’t

even enjoy your life anymore what if I

told you there was a little secret

there’s something that the Jewish people

have been doing for years and centuries

there’s a discipline that is a regular

part of their lives that has caused many

of them to be able to steer clear of the

stress-filled

existence that many of us you and me

often are accustomed to I want to tell

you about that secret we will always be

drawn don’t reduce things and God knows

this this is why he puts boundaries in

place they are a gift to us we are now

completely free standing in the Shabbat

space of God the margin that God has

given us so that we can experience the

freedom that God has come to give all

his children it’s gonna be a journey

through the Scriptures that is gonna

help us to enjoy life the way God always

intended

we’re not just doing a Bible study

together or on a missionary journey

we’re on a road with Paul and Silas in

tune we’re doing the Gospel playing

that’s what this is about and we are

entrusted to be the children of the day

please by all means

bypass me don’t forgot ask him you pull

these words off the page for you make it

far in my bones

you make me able to say when I get to

the end of the story what if I had

missed that what if I admit that it is

time to get back to the stuff of your

calling today in the day

given everything you know now looking

back on it if you could rewrite the

story again would you do it again would

I do what again would you do your your

junior high and high school years the

same would you exchange the normalcy the

friendships the whatever you may have

had in a regular life in Texas junior

high in high school for the experience

the fame the whatever good that came

even good that came from the life you

had would you do it over again

uh you know what I have I can go step

further there’s nothing in my life that

I would change because that’s a big

statement that’s a big say there’s every

single thing that even if I were to

think well yeah if I had done this and

this would have been easier when it

turned out better or you know would have

been less painful what I got in that

situation that maybe is a little bit

more intangible and all related to my

walk with the Lord was far and above

worth it so there is nothing that I

would change because every single thing

has been absolutely perfect for who God

has called me to be what would be one of

those gifts what would be the the number

one or number two gift that you got from

that season of life that you think the

Lord gave you to prepare you for this

next season well I would have to say one

of the most public things on television

than one of the most painful things was

going through puberty on television and

there was so much focus on my weight and

I you know I gained weight during

puberty and Blair was supposed to be

swelled and you know it was supposed to

be all felt and sexy and had great

clothes and I was outgrowing my Eastland

I kept in uniform and you know they sent

me to fat farms and they put a scale in

the middle of the rehearsal hall I mean

it was really very very difficult and

yet on the other side too I mean so many

things one I’m so glad that I mean I I

wouldn’t have chosen this on my own but

I’m so glad that I was able to be a

young teenage girl on television that

look normal so that I wasn’t more a part

of the pollution of the mindset of young

girls saying you need to be skinny to be

beautiful Blair I mean how perfect she

was kind of fluffy at times and yet she

carried herself like she was just

gorgeous and yet I choose to give that

message on my own and that’s the message

I would want my daughters to have on

television but it’s not something I

would have chosen I wasn’t you know

wasn’t that altruistic right but you but

looking back you see that it was

actually a gift to the culture for them

to see a beautiful talented actually you

were the symbol of beauty kind of

amongst the group of girls on that show

but you could have a little flesh on

your bones gonna be okay yeah all those

executives are looking at her net

because you look amazing you and we want

to know exactly why and how but first we

got to get back to the kid part okay so

you just left Hollywood you went home

yes wife mom and Tim you just kind of

all of a sudden we’re out of the

limelight yeah we lost him I don’t like

yes

into the deep end you enjoy that or did

you struggle isolating him alone and

kind of fired about it I loved it I you

know it’s I had a wonderful experience

in show business but nothing compared to

just my joy of those years with those

little kids at home I mean they were

hard and I mean it was I mean it was

three kids in diapers and on very little

money and then eventually homeschooling

the kids so I mean it was there were

some rugged years but i was doing what i

just had always i mean i’d always wanted

to be a mommy what would you say to a

mom right really the hardest emotional

time of my life why would you say that

you know just early marriage stuff and

exhausted and really some identity

transition you know it’s it any time you

go through such a huge shift of life and

identity any kind of change like that

that’s painful coming you got to break

it up before you kind of and it’s got to

be a lot of times destroyed before it

can be rebuilt though you know for what

god has you in that season and then

about the time you start feeling good

some other season

comes along but at least by that time

you can go okay I kind of know what’s up

here I’m going to ride this and trust it

and it’ll be good on the other side what

did you do right in those 10 years when

you were at home home schooling kind of

mommy nice was your world what did you

do right and what would you do

differently if you could go back and do

those years again okay I will be careful

about saying what I did right what I did

right for me and for my family because I

do think that right everybody has what

they need for their there right but my

favorite thing that I did was every

night from the time they were little

when they were little 2 & 3 and I would

put them to be at bed we would just

start with what are your you know it’s

we call it high-low what was your high

of the day what was your low of the day

as they got a little older when I called

it window time because it was a time was

the window to their soul was they were

in bed they wanted to stay up later and

so you know if it’s me even if it meant

talking to mommy they were staying up

later and I would just ask him questions

you know anybody hurt your feelings

today did you have do anything you need

to confess and bring out in the light is

there anything that you don’t understand

and we would just I would have that time

and a lot of times they would save up

something that would happen during the

day because they knew at the end of the

night they were going to have a chance

to kind of get it off their chest and I

mean it’s like you know the Catholic

Church has something going on with the

confession there is something that feels

good about that and so yeah not to

mention the rapport and relationship

that grows with between you and your

child and then when they’re a teenager

they’re used to having an opportunity to

tell their mom or their dad whatever the

case may be what’s going on in their

life that’ll be different with girls and

boys like with my daughters they still

wanted to talk although one of the

cutest things is my daughter once was

little and she has said something she

needed to confess for she had put the

you know blanket over her face because

she was so embarrassing and all it was

was that there was a boy in her

third-grade class that she said and I

blew him a kiss I went so it looked in

my son when he got into junior high in

high school you know boys they don’t do

this I hope you know I’ve got three boys

yeah

and I Lisa told me this habit that she

had of sitting on the edge of the bed

and kind of talking to her kids I that’s

what I do I kind of go in

to the room I’ve done it for a long time

now remembering what you said and in

hopes of having teenagers later and

young adults that want to know the door

is open so I go in and I’m waiting for

this thing to happen you said it’s going

to happen when they open up their mouths

and talk and bare her soul but my boys

just go oh yeah yeah it is different

with boys

so like when Tucker hit that mm age then

he got it was about really into music at

that time so I would just say he knew

that every night I wanted him a play a

song that he liked and then tell me what

he liked about it okay so find something

they like yes and talk about it oh yeah

their world and to learn about them and

then it got a little older I started we

took golf lessons together and so we’re

in the golf cart we’re not looking

straight ahead but I can be driving and

we’re you know this doesn’t have to look

at me but you’re nine holes or you know

18 holes I never could do 18 holes then

there’s going to be some conversation

that happens so also find something to

do with them that’s active that you know

in the course of the activity they’re

going to just start talking and then you

just you know capture that moment okay

yeah okay yeah also um it just sounds so

perfect miss Lisa just seems like he

just did it also right please tell us a

horror story from the world of the

children how will I will told you I have

done Horror Story videos okay so I wrote

a book called creative Corrections you

know but I miss Oreo and you know it’s

because nothing was working

especially with Tucker who has ADHD none

of the typical child-rearing methods

were working so I had to get creative

and kind of find ways that beyond the

top three you know timeout spanking and

yelling yelling my favorite uh but they

weren’t working and so I got creative

creative yes and that was great and then

until the hormones started showing up

and then that was not working so much

anymore but it was like I but wait a

minute

this works before so rather than ditch

it and realize this is no longer working

I reinforced it

did it even more and so of course on our

first boy our firstborn you make all

your mistakes and I learned you there’s

a totally different way of raising

before hormones and after hormones and

things that worked here are there woman

cars yeah another thing exactly yes that

too um you have to just throw it out and

do something different yeah I didn’t

know that so I kept really making the

boundaries smaller and smaller until

it’s like you know yeah but at one point

Tucker was much older I mean not much

older but he was the hormones had been

around for a while and we were yelling

because I was reverting and regressing

to yelling and he was on at one point I

realized we’re not going to settle this

by yelling so I said Tucker you know

just calm down and when you calm down we

will have a conversation and work this

out and I you know slammed the door and

guarded the back and he’s trying to beat

the door down and get in the bedroom and

you know finally he goes away I’m

thinking okay great you know we’ll just

handle this later about five minutes

later my bedroom door opens up and come

flying in through the bedroom door he’s

gotten a paperback copy of my book

creative correction off the shelf and

lit it on fire throws it into the

bedroom and says that’s what I think

about your parenting and and you know

what um that was a wake-up call on me

yeah but you know what it was a wake-up

call then he get a spanking after that

that’s what I want to know he did not I

spanked myself after that because I was

the one that was not treating him as a

young man I was still treating realize

that as a little boy and you know young

men I mean they need to be respected and

you know and I was not treating him with

respect

I really wasn’t and I wasn’t and a lot

of respect has to do with trusting them

and trusting God that he is working in

them and I learned my most important

lessons by doing it the wrong way why

would I not grant that to my children as

well and to realize they’re going to

learn their lessons the lessons that are

going to go deep by by making some

mistakes and then going oh wow that

hurts that’s like that’s not going to

work

to make the mistake that point and so I

switched gears after that and the book

came a flying deer room on fire first of

all I laughed I did that is histor I did

laughs and I said duck hurt you told you

win you so win on this book yeah and and

then I really started just trying to ask

him a little bit more question if you

feel more questions didn’t find out what

he was really feeling what is gone

through wedding and that made quite a

quite a big difference

creative correction that is the name of

one of Lisa’s many titles and you really

need to get your hands on a copy of that

book because but not your cancer over a

certain age because they will light it

on fire and soar what up do you think

you need to get the hardback so you can

just knock a good but really makes you

think about creative ways to kind of

align your children and to shape their

hearts and all that great stuff okay

listen this is just part one of our

conversation with Lisa we are going to

have a part two because we still need to

talk about your time on Survivor see a

lot of folks from this kind of that are

teenagers in their early twenties right

now they don’t remember Blair

I don’t know releases that they just saw

on Survivor we got to talk about that

because survivors hard yes it’s hard

work you were hungry weren’t you I was

hungry I was itching I was cold I was

stinky all I cannot I still don’t know

why you did that but anyway we’re going

to talk about that and other life

lessons she has learned would you please

help me by thanking her for being with

us today

you