Touré Roberts is joined with Bishop T.D. Jakes for an intimate and enlightening conversation about breakthrough, becoming self-full, and the journey to Balance.


hey there i am there he is let me tilt

down a little bit so you can see

something other than my ball here

it’s shining it looks good

good good good good how are you doing

i’m doing good sir huh out here hustling

you know hustling and telling the

telling telling the story

yeah you’ve got quite a story to tell


and thank you i’ve got my

thank you welcome

i got my copy right here

awesome of all the things that you have

done and and all the things that you

have experienced and a lot of people

don’t know that you’ve been through a

lot maybe you ought to just start by

sharing a little bit about your

background your life story before you

were who you are now

absolutely well i think that i was born

in the context of revolution uh my

mother and my father met uh in the black

panther party in oakland uh they they

weren’t married but but they found a way

to connect to each other and loved each

other on on their level

and it produced me so i was literally


in in conflict i was born in a struggle

so to speak uh and then my mother moved

from she took me it was just me and her

and we moved to

south central los angeles watts in

particular and then we begin a new uh

era of struggle now being in an

environment where

you name it was happening all around us

uh but there was always

a shield around me

you know and i think that that was

was prayer you know great grandmama’s

prayer and my mom’s prayer but i still

got a taste of it

so much so that when i was 16 i got shot

uh in a drive-by shooting uh but there

was always uh and let me know if i’m

moving too fast

um and uh but there was always that that

happened and god miraculously healed me

but i always felt special i i always

felt uh

different um i couldn’t pinpoint it but

there was a part of me that knew that

that i that there was a way forward

there was a way out um i was always

after better and i probably got it from

my mom

because i watched her scratch up from

from a receptionist to an executive i

saw it with my own eyes

and by herself single-handedly you know

put me in private school so she exposed

me to a lot of things

fast forward to uh to getting into

corporate america i excelled in

corporate america i used to build data

centers for fortune 500 companies uh

started my own company that had a

complimentary service uh to that company

that i was working for built that up uh

and you know in my 20s

decided that

even though i was prospering outside

uh inside i was not

and uh and i went and began to seek the

god of my youth who i was exposed to

through my grandmother

and the long and the short of that story

was i sought him and i found him and

sensed a calling

and uh and and

you know went to a church

sat under uh you know a great man of god

for a couple of years but felt like

again that that nudging on the inside of

me that that there was more to my


launched me out to start a church that

we ultimately planted in north hollywood

that grew and grew and grew and and uh

met and fell in love with an an

extraordinary young woman who just so

happened to be your daughter and uh and

the rest was history

well there’s a lot there’s a lot to that

story because pastoring in

that beverly hills hollywood environment

is a very eclectic experience and you

have the unusual

opportunity and or privilege to to

pastor a wide range of people

uh actors uh

directors producers

executives uh


african-americans caucasians a lot of

different ages and ranges of people but

the common denominator i would imagine

is so many people come to l.a

to be discovered they’re they’re hard

workers they’re aggressive they’re

tenacious they’re

relentlessly hoping for that

breakthrough which is

very few people break through

so they have to eat while they’re

breaking through and try to break

through at the same time and then have a

life on top of all of that

how do you balance life when when so

many different things are pulling at you


yeah i think it comes down to


i i think a lot of people think that

balance is about


you know dividing yourself up and giving

pieces of yourself to important things

but but my approach to balance is

different i think that balance begins

with prioritizing you

you know i think about that passage in

jeremiah 29 11 that we all love it says

god says for i know the plans i have for

you plans to prosper you and not to harm

you to give you a future and hope

and what people don’t realize is how

many times the word you is in that verse

you know before i know the plans i have

for you plans to prosper you and not to

harm you to give you a huge the future i

think that’s five times he says you so

god puts the emphasis not on what’s

outside of you but he puts the emphasis

on prospering you and so i i think that

what i’ve come to discover is that if

you focus on your insides if you you

focus on

getting you together first uh i believe

all other things almost like the verse

about the kingdom all other things will

be added so i don’t think that balance

is about how i juggle everything i think

that balance is how i

become whole within myself uh and then i

can give myself in a healthy way in an

impactful way to all the things that i’m

trying to accomplish

you know that’s so counterintuitive to

the way we think about things you know

we think about

you know i got to take care of the kids

i got to take care of the wife i got to

take care of the church i got to take

care of the business i got i got to take

care to come here i got to take care i

got i got i got i gotta and and yet it

is so true that if if i goes out then

all of those things go lacking


what what do you recommend


for people who

have those priorities

but really have not focused or been

trained to and uh i’m not asking for me

i’m asking for friends

a friend of mine wants to know

uh have not been trained to prioritize

themselves and there’s a certain amount

of guilt that comes with that there’s a

certain amount of feeling selfish that

comes with that how do you how do you

manage that that dark side of

prioritizing you

you know you know i’m motivated by uh by

by the truth about an idea and i think


the the truth about that is that if i


my my wife if i love my children if i

love my staff if i love my investors if

i love


you know the company the church whatever

i’m running if i love them truly i’m

going to give my best self to them and i

think that there there is a guilt that

there’s this guilt that if i

prioritize me i think it’s two things

one the guilt if i prioritize me

then somehow i’m going to be taking away

from my child my wife my investors you

know my my staff and the reality of it

is what is actually uh depriving them is

the fact that i don’t take care of me

because when i take care of me i’m a

better husband i am a more innovative

and creative and patient leader

uh i i am a more strategic uh thinker

you know for those who have invested in

me in one way or another uh and so so

it’s a paradigm shift yes uh the the the

it’s count intuitive like you said yes

there’s a part of me that feels like if


do me i’m hurting them but actually when

i don’t do me

i’m hurting them so you have to change

you know the way you look at it i i you

know it’s it’s hard like about every six

weeks i need

about two or three days just to myself

and in order for me to do that i got to

tell the kids you know we got six and

you got six grandkids you know i gotta

tell them

i gotta tell my wife who i love spending

time with goodbye but i say but

and i used to

kind of fuss a little bit when i left

but i said trust me the version of me

that you’re going to get when i walk

back through those doors are going to be

worth the sacrifice of two days that you

gave me and i deliver on that promise

every time i come back and i’m more

peaceful i’m more loving i’m more

balanced i have more to give to my staff

you know and so i think it’s a paradigm

shift we have to

hold up just a minute

just logged on uh i am talking to uh

pastor toray roberts

uh who is uh my son

my gifted son who has

done an amazing book on balance

positioning yourself to do all things

well it’s an amazing book it’s a

convicting book for those of us who are

workaholics uh but it is a book of

clarity and we get a chance not only to

pick up the book but to talk to the

author about what was in his head what

happened in his own life

how he learned these truths and how

learning these truths will help

in some ways to expedite you getting to

the place in life that god wants you to

be for it’s not by might nor about power

but by my spirit saith the lord you

don’t necessarily need more elbow grease




you know i think that uh sometimes

we who are believers have a tendency to

think that we we’re going to do it

through our own might

and i realize to him how much he’s given

much is required but the battle is not

ours it belongs to god

and somehow when you talk about violence

i hear faith


yes i

i hear

i believe god

to handle me

and handle my responsibilities

better than i can

i’m gonna participate in yes i’m gonna

work on it and yes i’m gonna be


but but the battle really isn’t mine so

i don’t have to suit up in the armor and

go out to war every day

but to rest in him and trust in him to

me balance takes faith if you’ve ever

been on a bicycle and you’re trying to

get your balance you know

and and the person who’s trying to teach

you to ride the bike is telling you

you’re going to be okay you’re gonna be

okay but fear

makes you lean to the right or the left

and and

and faith requires that you remain

centered what what centers you

yeah i think for for me

it begins with a belief to your point


that what god has for me

is for me


there’s a chapter in the book called the

gift of rest

and in that chapter i talk about how all

of the significant things that have ever

happened to me in life

did not happen when i was struggling uh

striving and stressing

all of those next dimensional things

that happened to me happened when i

found myself in this place of rest and

this place the rest that i’m talking

about is not i’m not talking about

taking a nap

i’m talking about what you alluded to


a confident assurance

that what god has for me is out there so

i’m not laboring to to to get

i am laboring to claim

what is there because before he put me

in my mother’s womb he put it there and

so so for me

what what centers me is co

and listen i’m like everybody else i get

anxious sometimes

i get worried sometimes i’m checking

everything and doing all that

but i i come back to the place even

after i do all that

you know

i come back to the place

uh to what you just said

god’s got this yes i’m gonna work hard

you know even you know full transparency

with with the with this book and and uh

and really wanting it to get in as many

people’s hands as possible because i

believe in the power the transformative

power the message of the book you know

and i’d be going checking the numbers

and doing all this and god said wait a

minute you know just you just work hard

you be a good steward you know and and

i’ll take care of the rest and so what

centers me is coming back to the

realization that yes i’m called to work

hard yes i’m called to be a good steward

but god is the one who’s going to give

the increase and the increase is already

there it’s not something that i have to

produce i just have to sow my seed i

think when i think of violence

and especially the way you’re talking

about it i think of all the marriages

that would have been saved

uh if there were more balance

i think more times that over the 45

years of my ministry

most couples burn out

and and and the quickest way not to burn

out is not to feel bad about having me


then you’re glad to see the person

but when you’re always there and you’re

always on top of each other and you’re

always dealing with what i call

the busyness of marriage the business of


the bills the budgets the the kids and

who drops off and who makes ham


you can burn out because you can lose

you in us and and the first word in us

is the first letter is you

and and and if there’s going to be us

there has to be a you

and i think that is so important for

both the husband and the wife to create

spaces where you can get relaxation

however you need to get relaxation

let’s have a little fun with this how

how do you how do you chill how do you

let let’s let’s talk to the people as if



relaxation balance for dummies

how do you

i know you wouldn’t title with that but

i’m just going to call this second

balance for dummies because for a friend

for friends yeah right

but just for friends

talk about ways that you


have become so proficient

at taking care of you

yeah well i have

built up a resident faith

for stopping

it it takes more faith to stop

than it does to go and to launch into

new endeavors uh and so i so i have i’ve

built up


in that if i do stop

my whole world is not going to come

crumbling down so so my my first step

is to actually believe that i can stop

when i stop

i get delivered from the noise because

life is so noisy and


what do you do when noisy becomes normal

you know and and that’s how it is you

know i you know we’re inundated with

images and ideas and thoughts and the

news and everything

and and people are crying out for

balance which is to basically say i am

imbalanced and and most of it is because

there’s noise and not all noise is bad

some noise is good noise like like some

family you know in marriage that that’s

noisy too

so so i stop

and when i stop and that noise begins to


i get to connect with toray

you know what does tarray want to do i

you know i like to go to the movies

sometimes sometimes it can be as simple

as going to the movies

uh you know i love motorcycle ride and

get getting out of my motorcycle but but

i won’t know what i need until i

actually stop

and then and then my my soul my spirit

will begin to say

hey do this you know dr drive over by

the beach uh meet a friend um but but

these are just some of the ways that

that i i stop and begin to center myself

you know

when you touch on me to friend it’s

funny i think our friendships have


especially amongst high achievers


everybody’s so busy running that we

don’t get to take see each other or

embrace each other or just to fellowship

without an agenda a meeting or anything

like that the notion of friendship

especially as you get older becomes more

and more difficult uh and then you look

around and they’re gone

and you haven’t spent that quality time

with them that you need

valuing yourself and valuing others is

is really

uh to me the some of the takeaways that

i’m getting out of it one of the things

that blows my mind

uh you say the power of no and there’s a

quote in here

balance is not better time management

but better boundary management

when you say the power of no and and

mostly generally i’ll be honest i’ll


i’ll confess you’ll be my priest

mostly generally by the time i say no

i’m annoyed


but but you’re talking about saying no

uh is a powerful word

not an angry word

yeah yeah


it’s because it protects your yes

it because really you know your yes is

expensive you know when you say yes to



it’s expensive

yes it’s expensive y’all type that on

the line yo yes it’s expensive i want

you to get that your yet once it’s so

easy to say

but it’s so hard to fulfill your yes is

expensive and you’re saying saying no

protects your yes talk to us about that

absolutely because when you say yes

you’re committing your energy

your time

your your effort and most importantly

your availability

now now it’s easy to do

because there’s instant gratification

when you say yes

you you have appeased the person on the

other side uh there’s no conflict they

they like you

you know because you did that and so you

you have this instant gratification that

comes back and it bites you later on

because if you give away all of your

yeses you just handed them out like like

you know i told one guy one time i said

when you say yes just see yourself

writing a check or giving away a hundred

dollars every time you say that because

it’s expensive and so what happens is

when the real blessing comes along the

thing you’ve been praying for the thing

you’ve been studying for working hard


you have nothing to give you’re broke

your bank you have no yeses to give

because you were too liberal with your

yes and and so and so no is about

protecting the yes for things that

matter the most and i’ll tell you this

no sometimes will qualify your


because some people are only in

relationship with you because you’ve

never told them no

it’s all based on

i’m about to shout right there listen

this this is this is really good stuff

you don’t know whether the friend is

really a friend or not until you say no

yes you know no i can’t go i know i

won’t be there no i can’t loan you the

money no i can’t pay you rent and if

they walk away then you know that that

was all they were really there for

so that that’s a very powerful thing but

the other thing that you said that

really really got me

is that we tend to want the immediate

gratification that comes from saying yes

to please people

to be a people pleaser i don’t know if

anybody watching us is feeling convicted

but this is a this is a convicting and

yet delivering message

that maybe maybe your counseling bill

would go down if you just say no

you know maybe maybe you wouldn’t be

exhausted maybe you wouldn’t be so

hypertensive if you just

get the gift of saying no

uh you you talk about these boundaries

you talk about these priorities

you talk about

what i’ll add this word the courage to

say no

uh i’m blown away by how expensive yes

is that that is so

so true sometimes my heart

will say yes

when my head

is clearly saying no

and then i beat myself about all the way

my head is closer that my heart’s in see

what you got us into now see what you

got us into now

leading from an emotional place

is not always the best place because we

have a need

to please people rather than the

intellectual understanding that i am a

limited resource it’s not that i don’t

care about it there’s just not enough of

me there’s too many of y’all there’s too

much you know when i go someplace and

they’re taking pictures they say just

one more picture no that could be just

one more it’s gonna be till i leave it’s

not you’re not the last one you’re not

the last person to call and ask for some

you’re not the last person who needs

wisdom you’re not the last person who

needs it right so i learned i’m getting

really good at saying no

uh but my knowledge escape i just leave

i just have a run i do like joseph i run

from potiphar’s wife

my name might not work i’ve run from


that are overwhelming and i’m learning

that it’s okay

to be

tired that it’s okay to to be

uh to say no that that i don’t have to


every breathing creature in the world

in order to be a good person

if if you if you understand the words

that are coming out of my mouth and you

relate to it if you said yes to too many

jobs volunteered to too many things

maybe say yes to too many friends yes to

companionship and you need to learn this


you you ought to get this for you not to

get a sermon on it not to get a message

out and not not to inspect it but as a

way of having therapy in a bag

therapy in a bag where you can learn to

say no and i’ll admit it i’ll just go

ahead and admit it i need this

you can’t have this one i need


because i pride myself on being a work

work working person a uh almost a

workaholic person i pride myself on how

much abuse i can take for other people

i pride myself sometimes on the wrong

thing and and this this

really speaks to the heart of the matter


it’s not about not doing because your

bylines is positioning yourself to do

all things well it’s about doing less

things better

it’s about doing less


better are you spread too thin

you don’t have time to read do you are

you spread too thin

if it doesn’t come on tv and it doesn’t

come on instagram you don’t get it you

don’t even have time to read

there you get so busy you don’t even

have time to go to the bathroom in peace

you can’t find a space where you can


10 minutes to read a chapter a day to


i need balance in my life

i’ve got

one of one of my most interesting

moments for i uh i went to a pastoral

workshop and the guy said

write a list of all the people who need


and he gave us time and we wrote down

all the people all the

responsibilities uh all the requirements

who need us and then he said write a

list of the people who feed us

and that list was so much shorter than

the people who need us

and he he challenged us to have three

categories the people who need us

the people who feed us

and the people who are just fun

to be with us

just they don’t need us they don’t feed

us they’re just crazy

they make you laugh you know and i

thought about people that i just liked

and how long it been since i had seen


if if you can balance that list a little

bit between need

feed and fun


what good is it to live a long life if

you’re not happy

if you’re not fulfilled

uh if you didn’t make your marks

in a definite place rather than


a deep

deep place i i sense ministry on the

deepest level not preaching not


real therapy

uh and maybe it’s because i need it but

but but really having reinforced in your



the the

the power of my yes like if i’m your

friend i will go down to the ground with

you i will go to the prison i will sneak

cookies through the barns

i mean i will be there through the flu

through cobia through pneumonia through

everything i will be a stand-up guy with

your yes it’s that intense you can’t

give that to everybody

even though they need it

even though they need it is that what

you’re saying

that’s absolutely what i’m saying and

you know in the book i talk about in

that chapter in particular talk about

loyalty and the deception of loyalty um

because first of all i am i am fiercely

loyal i’m like you you know if i am for

you i am for you and and ain’t nobody

can do about it but when people say i’m

loyal to a fault and they pride

themselves on saying i’m loyal to fault

that’s a problem because i i don’t think

that loyalty should end in a fault

you know and and so and so i have a

there’s there’s a boundary that there’s

only one limitation

to my loyalty to someone just one

limitation just one

and that is

when my lawyer when when your

interpretation of my loyalty to you

causes me to be disloyal to me

now we’ve got a problem oh my god

oh my god

you gotta say that again say that again

when you’re

when my loyalty

to you causes me to be disloyal to me

now we have a problem

these are takeaways these these are


uh i used to say it differently

when helping you is hurting me

yeah what helping you is hurting

me i don’t mind sacrifice

i’ll sacrifice but when it comes down to

downright pain

yeah where you’re just gonna drag me

through the sewer and the other thing

now now i don’t know this we might have

to put this in the back of the book

the other thing is a lot of us do this

for people who would never do that for


they would never do that for you and

that’s what causes us to feel so unloved

and unappreciated and undervalued is

that we give a hundred to people who

only give ten

and and so when you start talking about

being bankrupt now you’re ninety dollars

in the hole

throughout the whole relationship you’re

90 in the hole because they’re giving 10

and you’re giving hundreds

that’s not fair exchange that’s robbery

and i’m gonna mess with your mind a

little bit

but this is you

just because somebody gave you 10

doesn’t mean that you have to give a

hundred because there are

there are people that 10 is all they


yeah and you’re dealing in hundreds

and this imbalance is relational

it’s personal

it’s spiritual

it’s it’s it’s economics

if you don’t balance your checkbook you

don’t know how much money you have if


don’t balance your spending you’re going

to have bad credit there’s not an area

in your life where balance doesn’t

matter if you lose your balance you’re

going to fall

if your tires are out of balance they’re

going to wear wrong there’s not an area

in your life that doesn’t need


including your soul


man i’m more excited about this book you

are because i i’m telling you

the more i sit here and think about it

most things break from not being


you know you’d be surprised how much

weight you can lift if you balance it

but you can’t have an 80-pound barbell

on one side and a 20-pound barbell on

the other i don’t care how strong you

are you aren’t going to be able to bench

press that because it’s the weight is

out of balance and i feel like we’re

talking to somebody i don’t i don’t i

don’t feel like we’re pushing a book i

feel like we’re ministering to somebody

who’s who’s having as oprah would call

it an aha moment wow that


you you got 80 on one side and 20 on the


it’s not that you can’t lift 100 pounds

but if the weights got to be distributed

watch out for relationships jobs

friendships where the weight is not

equally distributed

balance balance balance balance balance

what do you think as a preacher

give me give me uh uh

a theological

perspective on balance what does god say

from a theological perspective

about balance or a bible story where

where balance is important or what what

what theological position i see very

clearly a psychological reason

i see a sociological reason i see an

economic reason i see an emotional

reason is there a theology to balance


one that comes to mind is when

when uh jesus was asked what the

greatest commandment is

and he said you shall love the lord your

god with all your heart mind soul and

strength and he said the second one is

just like it he says you shall love your

neighbor as you love yourself

most people

misinterpret the sequence of what jesus

is teaching

most people think that the sequence is



self as it relates to prioritization

love care and concern

but it is not

he says love the lord your god with all

your heart mind soul and strength and

love your neighbor


you love yourself so how you prioritize

care for love tend to self becomes the

benchmark for which you approach loving

everything that is outside of you your

neighbor so jesus was teaching something

that that’s very very fundamental and


christians and pastors you know we’re

all guilty of this

because we are servants we believe in

serving people we think that we’re

supposed to actually put the people that

we serve before ourselves and to do

anything otherwise

is selfish when jesus is saying no no no

no no

you’ve got to have your vertical

relationship with god tight

which will create a wonderful

relationship with self and in fact don’t

even try to love your neighbor good

until you love yourself good because

you’re going to fall short and so i do

think that there’s a theological uh a

basis for prioritizing self in a

guilt-free way and not only get free to

see it as a strategy


for for serving well everything that’s

i around you

i have to say this this is off topic a

little bit

but you you are a courageous man i’ve

written 40 books

i have never asked the person who lives

with me to write before

i’ve asked people who know me

but you got your wife

my daughter sarah james roberts to write

the forward

on this on this book

why did you do that


because the person who lives with you

can really check whether you’re balanced


yeah you know i have dedicated it to my

wife but i’ve never asked my wife to

write forward i don’t know i’d have to

edit it maybe uh

what was that like

there’s no one who knows me better than


and i think that there’s no one who has


the principles of balance uh first hand

work in our in our lives i asked her to

write it because she’s honest

uh she she knows me

uh she loves people and she has just had

a front row seat

to to to what we have been employing you

know pastoring you know two churches and

and you know running our businesses and

and women evolve and with children so i

really felt like she was honest

uh and credible

um and uh i just really felt like she

can as as a wife who’s watching me

live this message not just this is not

the next book you know the next cool

thing to talk about she’s watched

firsthand me me take these principles to

heart and manage and balance so many

things i felt like she was a perfect

person to write it

you know you’ve got a lot of aside from

sarah who is an amazing writer a great

thinker you’re right incredibly honest

and straightforward uh

you’ve got devon franklin on here who

who has shaken hollywood done some

amazing things uh in his life in his

career i’ve worked with him on several

films i’ve seen his his work ethic uh

you’ve got both st john who i dearly

love she’s the chief marketing officer

of netflix a great woman a tremendous

human being but also

a very busy woman with a lot of


cheap marketing for netflix is no easy

job you got common you’ve got you’ve got

comment on here everybody knows common

uh oscar winning grammy award-winning

he’s a rapper he’s an actor these are

not lazy people craig rochelle

i mean who wrote the book on multiple

campuses and and and reaching people for

jesus christ leslie hold him tremendous

grammy award-winning actor and see these

are all


people so you don’t have to give up


for balance do you

no no not at all in fact

you can take your success to the next

level you know one of the things that

i’ve noticed about uh some successful


is the reason why they are on the level

of their success

is because

they are running from something you know

and i think that that’s that’s that

that’s great

i have also discovered that

if you are running from something

it is impossible

for you to bring the very best of


to what you’re after


essentially fear is driving

and and the only problem with fear and

fear you know there’s a wonderful debate

about whether or not fear serves you or

hinders you and i think that they’re

valid points on both sides of the

argument but one of the things that i do

know is that if you are running from


that means that you are ruminating on

something negative if you if if there is

a negative boogie man that you’re

running from

you you you’re meditating on that

negativity and the research shows the

research shows

that if you ruminate on negative things

that it establish it builds up protein

deposits in your brain so you might be

successful now but later on that protein

deposit is one of the key contributors

to early dementia

so so it looks like success but it might

be a temporary success


where the alternative is if i am not

running from something

but i’m running to something

you know something that that god has

prepared for me something that is out

there then i get to bring all of myself

to it and i’m not expending

cognitive creativity on trying to

keep something from happening i can

spend that cognitive creativity towards

making things happen that have never

been seen before so even successful

people have the opportunity in my

estimation to be all the more successful

if they can bring balance to their life

well that’s a great thing that’s great i

could talk to you all day about this

because nobody writes about this

you know five ways to

build the kingdom ten ways to start a

company tell twelve ways to start a

startup in uh silicon valley over and on

to all kinds of books about

how to how to


not anybody writing about how not to


you know

yeah you know how how how to just


in quietness and confidence

uh possess you your soul

you know

that that

that’s the word of the lord


it’s your strength

it’s not your weakness it’s it’s your

strength uh

i know we we don’t have a lot of time

but i do want to say

i have observed with great interest and

uh and focus

how you live this out in your own life

and how this works for you in an amazing

way i think

i think this is

it’s a book but it’s i think it’s a


i i think

we need to get back to

the center again and as a person

not just have to cut we want to get back

to the center of the country we want to

get back to the center on our budget we

want to get back to the center with our


you can’t get back to the center in the

country or the church or the city or the

government or even your spending

if you’re not back to the center with


it starts with you so uh i encourage you

to get it i don’t get a dime off of you

get it but i encourage you to get it


not for not for sale of a book

but for the survival of a soul


i encourage you to get it because we’re

so out of balance in our relationships

and our workings we’re we’re we’re

putting in a hundred they’re putting in

10 we’re we’re 90 in the whole if you

stay bankrupt long enough it’s it’s

gonna blow up anything that stays

bankrupt is gonna blow up


it actually makes our job easier to

preach to people who are balanced

than to preach to people who are about

to blow up

yeah so all my members please get it

thank you

yeah make my job easier uh

this this is a word for somebody uh

there’s a presence of god even in our


would you uh

pray for people in this room who are

watching us


who feel the tug of the holy spirit

to say i need to be better at that i

need to be better at saying no i need to

understand the power of yes i’ve said

yes so much that my yes doesn’t mean

anything people who say yes all the time

end up you don’t respect them because

they they’re not going to come through

they they’re just not gonna come through

they’re not gonna come through not like

you expect them to because they said yes

to everybody

maybe you’ve lost respect in your

ministry marriage home finances credit

you said yes too much

maybe the holy spirit is talking to you

about more than a vacation maybe he’s

talking to you

about the way you handle your kids your


your budget

your bills

you’re everything because you’re working

from a place of imbalance

or maybe it was the fear part they got


that you were running uh

running from something

i can relate to that to run from

something something so traumatic that

you say i’ll never let that happen again

you spend the next 20 years running from

ghosts that are gone

and you still

got your nikes on flying


i want pastor torey to pray for you

whether you get the book or not

you can you can go anywhere books or so

and get this book is it right

yep yep and the link is in the thing

there too

the link is in there you can get them

good on the link you can get it on

amazon and bring it to your house you

don’t have to put on your coat

and go outside or if you don’t want to

or burns anywhere you there’s so many

places uh


so don’t just get the book

get the proof that’s in the book

it’s nice to have a book not a book for

that shout out that’s cute

but don’t get the book if you’re not

going to put the practice of it in your

life and reevaluate where you are and

particularly amongst our community my

mother died of alzheimer’s so you struck

a nerve when you said that


african-americans americans are our

stats and likelihood of getting

alzheimer’s is much higher

we’ve led stressful lives all our lives

now we need balance even if it means

that we don’t get a five-bedroom house

even if it means that we don’t get to

ride a porsche

even if it means that we don’t have a

gucci bag

i’d rather have balance than a gucci bag

uh pray for people who have filled their

lives with things

to avoid the bankruptcy of their soul

and pray for people

who really really need what you’re

talking about who really need balance

yes sir well father we thank you so much

for this


spirit-filled time together

and you’ve assembled this group that’s

on right now hand-picked didn’t even

know what they were walking into but you

arrested them because you love them

and you know them and you do have plans

for them plans to prosper them and not

to harm them yes

and father i just uh ask that you would

give them the courage to surrender

to to not

deny the fact

that you’re talking to them

and you’re drawing them into something

that is so much bigger than a book

but yet

the tool

is the book that you’re going to use to


significant breakthrough in their lives

father there’s some who are weary right

now weary and you said in your word come

on to me all who are weary and heavy

laden and you ultimately said

that you will give them rest hallelujah

so i

i speak rest god over the hearts and the

minds of all who are

gathered here right now

a supernatural rest a peace that passes

all understanding

and i thank you god for their openness

and their willingness to say yes to you

and that you would lead them

into the path of

balance or rest ultimately your presence

at the end of the day that’s what

balance is

it is learning to perfect

your presence


allowing that presence to nourish the

soul so we thank you god thank you for

allowing us to

hear this

to be exposed to this and we thank you

that from this day forward because we’re

saying yes to your invitation to this

rest we will never be the same again

in jesus name


thank you thank you thank you for such a


uh and touching and deeply you should

see the comments i i don’t know if

you’re looking at them but

so many people


needed this

even people who didn’t even know that

they needed it and thank you for for

writing this wonderful book because

the instagram live is gonna go away

i’m going to go away you’re going to go


this book will still be here


putting it in print is something that we

don’t do you know

because print out last breath



for all the hours and all the time and

all the editing and all the rewrites and

all the pressure and all the stuff

that you’ve gone through to produce

something that will outlive us both

thank you

for teaching our children and our


that you can get up without going down

wow that you can overcome without


that you can do it

when you balance

i pray the lord bless all of you i pray

you’ve been as touched as we’ve been

i pray you go out and get the book i

pray that you put in practice today

you know what we ought to do we ought to

start having uh book clubs

don’t y’all think that’d be neat well

let’s start having book clubs so that as

you read you can talk why don’t you

start a book club and and get two or

three of your girlfriends or guy friends

or mix it then you have nothing to do

with gender


and just spend 30 minutes at the water

cooler talking about


see how it changes your business how it

changes your life most important it

changes you

god bless you thank you pastor for

pouring into us today

and uh we’ll talk to you soon

thank you sir

bless you