he don’t have his hat on what
I tell you that much I just took it off
he don’t have his hand why you take it
off because you had a meeting because I
had a meeting I had to get you know I
brush my weight the Hat was not
appropriate it was very the Hat was not
appropriate one thing I can guarantee
you is that the streets have spoken and
they probably know what you’re talking
about they do let me tell you go to PT’s
page and see PT’s little hat what’s your
hat say man of God Charlemagne said it
perfectly Charlemagne
you didn’t even remember
he poured it as a bum hey hey
love you love you too
the hat is not anointed Stefan don’t
don’t be a spiritual son
I said freak on it and we didn’t enjoy
it
he must have turned I said excuse me
what is on your hat
and why is it on your hat make it make
sense
what’s up loves
and all of the above oh they’re out
or is Devon going to vouch for his mans
you know Bros be trying to stick
together D you in the hot seat you in
the high speed I see it I just sat down
how could it be hot already
your man your friend warmed it up before
you got here dude what was he talking
about I missed it
so we took our children to school you
know we’re trying to give them a
wholesome upbringing and we got back
from taking the kids to school he gets
out the car he hasn’t had him his has
his freak with a Nike sign underneath it
that’s for Giannis
but unless you were saying hey baby
that’s our code word you shouldn’t be
putting on a hat
oh no I know the Holy Ghost I know
Holiness is right I don’t know who
Giannis is I don’t know nothing about
that
man in trouble how are you I was doing
good I’m doing good that’s all right let
him be a Giannis you know I tend to
combo fan that’s cool nothing wrong with
that and make sure that
depends on you know
I was going somewhere we wasn’t
oh man good to see you so excited about
woman evolved thank you so much for
coming I know you’re super crazy
no of course I’m I’m honored I’m excited
you know everybody’s buzzing about it
you know I mean I just keep hearing like
it’s already almost sold out yeah people
I mean come on you know it’s it’s
amazing to be a part of this you know we
have never had a men’s panel like we’ve
had a singles panel we’ve had
relationship conversations but we’ve
never had exclusively a men’s panel at
woman evolve which I’m gonna be honest I
kind of went back and forth because it
is such like a sacred environment for
women but also we cannot separate a
world in which women are engaging with
men whether they are in relationships
their friends their brothers their
co-workers their leading in the same
Industries and so I thought it would be
powerful to have a conversation with men
about how a woman taking her place uh
whether that be in a board room or
changing how they have come to be known
in their households what effect that has
on men so I know that you cannot speak
on all of the men in the world so I’m
not going to set you up for failure but
I am curious you are in the
entertainment industry I think over the
course of I’ll say the last maybe 10
years even if I don’t even know if it’s
been 10 years we have seen women really
take positions in producing and having
necessary conversations that hold men
accountable they have broken up in my
opinion the good old boys club came in
there and said hey we have stories we
have
um concerns about the way things are ran
and as a result we have certainly from
the outside looking in I’m not in the
industry say this shift and I think the
the stories that are being told and the
way men are held accountable so I want
to know from your perspective what has
it been like as an industry Insider to
see the way the woman has evolved from
your perspective
well you know I’ve been in entertainment
for 20 man almost like 27 years so you
know ever since I was 18 years old so
the evolution of women in entertainment
uh has been significant you know when
you look at you know how many women are
writing directing producing acting uh
leading companies I mean one of the top
Executives in our business is Donna
Langley who’s a woman who runs the
universal uh pictures and now Universal
television and so there’s so much
Evolution that has happened in
entertainment as relates to women uh but
even with that being said there’s still
so much more that needs to happen I’m a
governor for the Academy of Motion
Pictures Arts and Sciences and I chair
our equity and inclusion committee and
that’s all about looking at these issues
not only as it relates to women but also
uh diversity and representation and
while there’s been a lot of evolution uh
the numbers are still not as strong as
they could be and so you know for for me
you know as a as a producer you know all
of my movies have been directed by women
because you know I want to be an
advocate and an ally to Champion women
in uh in entertainment uh my most recent
film flaming hot was directed by Eva
Longoria that’s the first film that
she’s ever directed I’m getting ready to
make um Mike Todd’s movie you know
relationship goals we’re getting ready
to make that movie and I’m hiring a
female director to direct that so for me
as a man it’s about being an advocate
and it’s also about using my hiring
power to help women evolve in every way
that I can what do you think is
different now as it relates to the way
the woman is received
started well I think I think back then
it was just it was like oh that’s just
the way things are you know men are are
you know in control and this is the way
it is and Hollywood is dominated in that
way and it was just satisfy you know it
wasn’t really questioned it wasn’t
really challenged so now you know
especially the metoo movement did a lot
in terms of progress for women uh you
know in our business you know given what
so many women have been subjected to
over the years and decades uh you know
of entertainment you know certainly me
too really helped so when I see the
state of things today again not
completely Equitable but from my vantage
point you know it seems like those ideas
of oh that’s just the way it is that
those have gone by the wayside you know
everyone is questioning well why is it
that way you know why are women and
people of color historically kept down
in our business that doesn’t have to be
and let’s continue to uh you know
Advocate and fight for change now
for seeing the woman be all that she can
be do you think that does give you a bit
of a disposition about wanting to see
woman’s women Excel and seeing them
properly because you have so many
powerful women in your life absolutely
you know being raised by my mother and
my grandmother my grandmother’s Seven
Sisters uh that was a lot of women and
uh I certainly gave me a front row seat
to uh
the contributions of women the
creativity of women uh and then also the
the the frustration of women right where
it’s like not always getting uh the
opportunities uh just because of their
gender and so certainly being raised by
women you know and bringing that
approach into this business and bringing
that approach into what I do it
definitely gives me a lot more care
consideration
um about like okay let me be sensitive
to this let me be an ally let me be an
advocate you know as a man uh you know
as a black man uh and certainly I think
being raised by women laid the
foundation for that now you’ve been
cutting up
yeah we got
we got something patented up you are
liberating the people you are giving
them wisdom and perspective and let me
tell you I already saw somebody say like
hope the man keeps the same energy in
his messages as when he comes to woman
evolved because you were saying things
that I will say as a woman that I’ve
tried to say with my platform that A
Woman’s Worth and her value has so much
more to do with uh so much more to do
with who she is than it does with who
she’s in relationship with and I know
that many of the choices that I made
growing up had to do with me believing
that my worth and validation could only
come from me finding the man and you
know just once I got the man you know
the teen pregnancy wouldn’t matter once
I got married I would be seen as
virtuous in the Proverbs 31 Woman and
everything has been built up around this
idea of like needing to be in
relationships so once I finally got
divorced I had to do a lot of work with
really seeing my value outside of the
context of relationships see what I
bring to the table in spite of all of
the things that may be devalued by
someone else like I had to find that
value Within Myself I had to turn what
God said about me and so as a woman I’ve
been empowering women to do the same it
is not very often that we see men
liberating women from the notion that
they need a man or how they need to
treat him in or how they need to talk to
a man and you were out here kicking up
some dust can we talk a little bit
about how you are empowering not just
men not just women but men as well to
really find a sense of wholeness and a
sense of purpose even if that means that
they’re no longer in relationships yeah
I mean you know it’s it’s interesting
because hearing you talk in what you
have navigated you know in your life and
then coming out of the divorce and so me
what I’ve navigated in my life you know
and coming out of divorce as well and
and really what I had to do was sift and
sort through okay well how did I get
here yeah what what what did I get right
what did I get wrong what were the wrong
assumptions that I made about myself
about marriage prior to getting married
and so sifting and sorting and searching
the word and and going to therapy is
what kind of gave me this understanding
of like oh got it I really may not have
been as good as I could have been in the
couple because I wasn’t a great single
right I wasn’t really focusing on who I
was what what I who I was as a person
not what I did professionally right
professional Focus has never been from
personal Focus was the issue
understanding who I am what I like what
what makes me tick and then not only
understand that but then loving that
person right so for me I had to learn
that and then when I went back to
scripture I said wait a minute God
didn’t create the couple uh initially he
created two individuals that became a
couple and I was like wow we’re all one
of one okay and neither of their status
in identity is based upon being with one
another Adam is Adam Eve is Eve and
together they are Adam and Eve but they
each have that individual identity and
that began to speak to me and so as much
as it was about you know liberating
women was also about liberating myself
just to be quite honest with you uh
because growing up as a middle child and
of three boys you know I always
struggled with finding like who am I
what what’s my value what’s my worth and
so coming out of the divorce as
difficult as it has been it was also
empowering because I said oh wait a
minute if we can become better singles
and find the power of that identity not
finding our identity and Power in
relationship to anyone else other than
ourself and God now that is what will
change the game with our relationships
because if I know who I am and I have a
strong sense of self as an as an
individual and I’m one of one and then I
find somebody and they have a strong
sense of self and they’re an individual
and they’re one of one then one of one
with one of one makes us one of one yeah
right now we can learn how to be an
individual together because we
understood what it meant to be an
individual separately and that is the
key to this message and I’ve just been
so passionate about it because I think
that if maybe I had been a better single
right I may have been better in a couple
and maybe they’ve been different so you
you know for me I’m I’m empowered to
teach this message because I don’t want
anyone else living another moment being
down desperate depressed because they’re
not in a relationship because then they
buy into the idea that if I’m in a
relationship like you were just saying
if I’m in a relationship you know
everything’s going to be solved it won’t
Whatever problems that I’m not
addressing as an individual as a single
when I’m in a couple of those problems
I’m only going to get magnified they
don’t go away whatever I think a
happiness is going to bring me in a
relationship if I’m not happy now I’m
not going to be happy then so so much of
it for me was unpacking the myths that I
had going into marriage wanting to just
grow and heal myself and help as many
people as I possibly can and so as a man
to be able to say some of the things
I’ve said it really comes from a place
of me doing my own healing work and
wanting others to do the same last thing
I’ll say is I come across so many people
that have bought into this idea
especially in the church search that if
I could just find the right person well
the right person is looking right back
at you in the mirror the right person is
the person when you take out that selfie
that’s the right person find yourself
get on the path of finding who you are
who God has created you to be and that
then puts us on a path to align with
whoever may be the right fit at the
right time but let’s not exchange
happiness in the moment for happiness in
a day that may never come you know I
just had this like image as you were
talking it like of someone like standing
in the mirror of a public bathroom and
it looks like it’s just you in there and
then someone else comes along and they
start standing in the mirror and you’re
like wait a minute there’s someone else
here I think that’s very much so when
you start looking at yourself focusing
on the ways that you can develop and
grow instead of breaking that focus on
yourself to go and find someone if you
stay in that mirror someone else is
going to be looking in that mirror too
and at the right time you’re gonna look
up and be like hey look at us both of us
in the mirror now let’s see what we’re
looking at when we’re staring at each
other that makes me very hopeful or just
keep looking at yourself and follow up
don’t worry about nobody it’s your
choice you get to choose those things
but Dee I have to tell you um I have a
lot of single friends I am not in you
know that’s not my Ministry God has
blessed me but um
you know D I’m gonna tell you they tell
me that there’s p in the dating pool
these are not my words these are their
words they say
they say
it feels yellow in the dating pool okay
okay and
um I want to know most of them say that
when they’re dating someone if he is
successful that if he has not reached a
certain place in his career that he is
hesitant to be in a serious relationship
because he wants to focus on his career
and once he gets there then he may be
open to having a relationship now that
we see even more focus on this emotional
wellness and mental Wellness I am
wondering if the pursuit of not just
professional success but now emotional
and mental and spiritual Wellness is
going to be another thing that keeps a
man from saying if I cannot arrive to
this point then I don’t want to invite
someone in on the journey when we have
women who are like hey you know I will
help you climb the ladder I will you
know be with you as you’re going through
that trauma and I will support you with
it where do you think this disconnect is
between you know some women who are
ready and then some men who are still
pursuing in such a way that they can’t
make space for anyone else well you know
this is this is why I am just so
passionate about the one-on-one message
because what happens is our culture
twists things in a way where as men we
buy into a false ideology and I believe
at times women bind to a false ideology
as well so here’s what I mean so you go
back to Genesis you know God creates
Adam and then he says Adam God says to
Adam it’s not good for the man to be
alone it’s not good for the man to be
without support So then he sends but
what he does first is if you go back to
Genesis 1 the creation of Eve is not the
answer the first thing that God does is
create the birds and the beasts and says
Adam you go explore and you name all the
animals as Adam is exploring he then
comes to his own conclusion that a
suitable helper has not been found now
pause here’s the thing as men I do
believe it is important for us to have
to explore explore this thing called
life explore self explore who you are
explore what you want the thing that I
think gets messed up is we tend to put
these false things in our exploration
well I need to be at a certain place I
need a certain type of job I need to
have a certain level of money and you
have a certain type of influence where
in scripture does that say that if
anything is a key that finds a wife
finds a good thing it obtains the favor
of the Lord it doesn’t say he that finds
a wife when you are making six figures
it doesn’t say he who finds a wife when
you have the job you’ve been your dream
job he doesn’t say that it just says
whenever you find that partner you find
a good thing and then you attain the
favor of the Lord so what happens as a
man if even if I’m a Christian man and I
buy into the ideology that I’ve got to
have a certain job I gotta make a
certain amount of money I gotta achieve
certain things in the world what happens
is that we have there’s a Temptation for
the woman we end up with
being uh what’s the word
um in adornment like like an assessment
that’s to read to our success and
partner in it
because we’re saying Hey I want to get
my life just the way I want I want the
right car the right the right job the
right you know paycheck and then I will
add like an accessory the woman and to
me that is where we as men go wrong now
here’s one of the things I will also say
in terms of going on the women’s side A
lot of times men feel the pressure of
needing to achieve a certain thing and
have a certain amount of money because
of what the culture is saying that women
want well you know she she needs me to
be this or she needs me to be that now
again I’m not saying that there isn’t
some truth to that but for me I’m like
how do we break down these myths as for
men I do believe that going back to
scripture
when Adam came to the conclusion that I
had not found a suitable helper that’s
when God said okay I got something for
you and God then created Eve so Adam on
his path made a decision about when he
was ready okay now I’ve got something
for
for you and when you look at Eve he
doesn’t come into the Earth saying Hey
where’s where’s my man Eve comes into
the Earth you know both ribs intact hole
just truly in her power and then Adam’s
like wow now this is bone of my bone now
this is flesh in my flesh why all this
is so relevant is because when you talk
about pee in the dating pool right he’s
like here’s one of the things that we
got to be careful about
uh it’s funny but whatever we speak
against we can’t speak for
[Music]
so if I allow out of my my mouth to say
there’s p in the dating pool
then every decision I make will be based
upon the fact that I don’t believe
there’s someone good out here for me
because all of my experiences before now
I’m using that to dictate my future
experiences versus saying you know what
dating can be crazy but I believe God
has the right one for me at the right
time you know it’s like there my Epp in
the dating pool but God’s about to put
some chlorine in this thing right he’s
about to clean this thing up
if you clean this thing up you know
because I’m not because the thing about
our words are important so I don’t want
someone who is ready to receive love to
speak against the very you know
institution that can bring love which is
dating so yes dating is crazy and I can
tell you being back in these dating
streets is it’s a it’s a whole another
thing okay but
not speaking negative about it I’m not
going to speak a negative word about my
love life I’m not going to speak a
negative word about the options that are
available we serve a God who has
infinite possibilities so just because I
haven’t met that person or someone who
may say pee in the dating pool just
because you haven’t met him yet doesn’t
mean you won’t yeah just because you
haven’t found the right situation yet
doesn’t mean it’s not possible but the
moment you speak against it you could be
speaking against what God is trying to
speak for you
do you think and I’m asking this because
everything statistically is showing us
that women are outpacing men in
education professionally in many aspects
as well could you personally date
someone who was obviously more
professionally successful than you are
and still be confident because a lot of
women are concerned that if I pursue
this careers men are going to be so
intimidated that if they don’t make as
much or don’t make more then they won’t
be able to be connected to me but listen
before I got married Megan was was way
more successful uh you know and had more
money than I did and I said thank the
Lord I said amen I had no problem with
it
I said Thank You Lord Lord hey Lord
you’re right
oh no I hey I I think that’s that can be
an ego thing and I think that you know I
did a a post yesterday where I’m saying
our ego can really disrupt our love life
because you know we bring these ideas
you know into
uh dating about ego which ain’t got
nothing to do with nothing right it’s
like no like no I’m not going to let my
ego if God brings me love and that takes
the form of somebody making more money
than me and having a different job God
bless hey when to become one okay so
that them two bank accounts Become One
bank account so amen
foreign
okay so a couple more questions I want
to know what is it that you
see about women and their potential and
what they bring into rooms what they
bring into families that you don’t think
that they fully understand how impactful
it is
yeah you know what I think um what women
bring is an innate power
is I mean and I think that’s what the
culture the culture profits off of
getting women to not believe that and to
not claim that every woman that I know
when they step into a relationship when
they step into a room when they step
into a store bring power
because the women are the last creation
of God
the most powerful thing we have men
can’t bring life into the world in that
way don’t get me wrong we still have a
role in but women carrying life
that’s a powerful statement that’s a
powerful position and so often in my
experience
I was talking to a you know a friend of
mine who you know is a woman and you
know is dealing with the job situation
and it came to wanting more money an
equitable pay and uh you know she was
afraid to ask for what she wanted and I
said why are you afraid
you don’t understand you are powerful
you have value go fight for your value
well what if they get upset let them get
upset
I would rather you upset your boss
because you have a high value of
yourself than to stay quiet and accept
less because I promise if you accept
less they’re gonna give you less so to
me when you ask that question it’s power
that’s what every woman I know brings
into a situation no matter what the
situation is and that’s one thing that
in my experience I wish more women were
understanding of you are powerful you
have authority even when it comes to
dating is it the women got all the power
and more what do you mean by this what
is our power here
because at the end of the day you know
as men most of most of what we do is
because we want to get the right woman I
mean you know what I mean what we dress
what we wear what we say and at the end
of the day a woman doesn’t want to say
no not you not you you know so at the
end of the day women to me have the
power but but when we flip it and it’s
like nah nah y’all ain’t power we in
power it’s like wait a minute we both
have power it great to share that power
but I do feel in our culture there’s a
there’s a there’s a people profit from
women disempowered or believing that
they are disempowered and that’s
something that I I definitely feel
passionate about changing okay uh last
question because I know I promise I
think I said 30 minutes
um
our men as insecure as we think they are
now then how do I want to ask this
because like I think that part of how
you know men have been elevated in
culture and Societies in different
fields is that they come off as like so
confident they don’t it doesn’t seem
like they have these like body issues
that we have that they’re not worried
about their skin like there are things
that like men can get away with doing
things that a woman has to work twice as
hard in order to be considered relevant
worthy beautiful like what what types of
insecurities do men have like where are
they oh man that’s the thing we got a
lot of them we got a lot of insecurities
and I think that’s kind of the myth that
we as men don’t you know how what we
look you know how we look you know what
I mean like hey do I look you know am I
fit enough for the right woman you know
um you know how I come across in in the
public I mean there are so many men that
I know you know who are single that say
okay you know I want to present myself
uh the right way you know publicly I
want to be a man that women would want
and desire to be with and uh you know
and also sometimes as a man
there’s a lot of pain that we go through
coming up in life you know be a man stop
crying
right be a man you know and so we buy
into this ideology of what it means to
be a man which puts us in a box in that
box in my experience breaks us
so a lot of those insecurities come
because we know we don’t fit in the in
any box but when we’re trying to live in
a box we know there’s something in us
that doesn’t cannot be contained by the
definitions that that Society is giving
us as men so those insecurities like I
said take the form of you know how we
look how we speak how we act and then
this idea and women I know deal with
this as well but men do too
are we good enough
are we good enough and that is a
question I know that I dealt with and
I’ve navigated you know for years am I
good enough am I good enough for the
best that God has am I good enough to be
loved am I good enough to you know have
the career that I believe I can have and
so there are so many insecurities with
men and the greatest one in my
experience has a lot to do with our
purpose what we were created to do
as men when you first when you meet
another man right most thing first thing
you say is well what do you do right
like and as men if we aren’t doing the
thing that brings us confidence then we
tend to be very insecure in that area
and so a lot of it has to do with
purpose being in our purpose aligning
with our assignment that helps mitigate
some of those insecurities but I want to
be very clear men are more insecure at
times than we ever let off right because
we’re taught not to express our emotions
so if I’m feeling insecure about
something most time I’m going to be
quiet
you know what I mean or I might give you
the silent treatment but the truth of
the matter is I feel insecure next to
you or I feel insecure because I’m not
where I want to be in my career so as a
result I’m a little shaky this is why I
go back to one of one right okay when
you’re one of one when I’m one of one
we can’t allow where we are in our
career to dictate our happiness
as men we got to find contentment and
peace in just being the man that God
created us to be
and ultimately whatever we do let that
be an outgrow out of our internal
confidence our internal power our
internal security that to me is the path
in the process that really allows us as
men to have the peace we’re looking for
because a lot of those insecurities are
so prevalent and this is why as men you
know we will deal with those
insecurities through you know sports
right we’re like in terms of just
checking out watching sports being into
sports because we are like we got to
live vicariously through other men who
are doing what we wish we could do
instead of sometimes finding that within
ourselves and then really going before
God with those insecurities and here’s
the last thing I’m going to say
one of the areas that men can be
insecure is in our ability to express
ourselves and be emotional right so if
we’re with somebody and we are being
vulnerable and that person laughs at our
vulnerability that person judges our
vulnerability that person talks down to
our vulnerability that usually will be
the last time we would ever be
comfortable being that vulnerable again
so part of the insecurities these are a
number of the insecurities that I know
I’ve dealt with at times I know other
men deal with and I think it’s okay to
talk about it that’s why I love what
you’re doing I love your platform I love
uh the conference because for us as men
to get a chance on your platform and at
this at your conference to be able to
talk about these issues and to give the
women that are their insight to help
improve our Dynamic I think that’s
that’s powerful and it’s long overdue uh
thank you I don’t know if you noticed
but I was really intentional about
having like every decade represented so
we’ve got 20 20 year old men 30 year old
man 40 reasons 40s 50s 60s because I
want to get every perspective of manhood
possible from starting off in life and
still building and finding yourself to
being a little bit more subtle to even
fatherhood because I think the
intergenerational shift that takes place
in manhood is so important to explore
and we want to talk about like how do we
cultivate safe spaces for the men in our
lives how do we advocate for ourselves
without threatening the men in our lives
how do we have better communication so
that we are being seen and not as a
project when it comes to some of the men
in our lives so I’m just excited about
all of the things we’re going to explore
if you are not registered like we are
down to our last I think there’s just
like a few hundred tickets left
um so if you want to be in the room make
sure you head over to woman evolved
conference.com you do not want to miss
it we are a little under three weeks
away now and I just cannot wait to see
what’s going to happen in the room D
before we go would you pray for the
people who are watching who want to be
one of one but right now they don’t have
yeah so let’s do it dear heavenly father
we thank you dear Lord right now for
anyone watching this live I pray if
you’re watching this live you would know
this is a Divine appointment this is not
random you didn’t just randomly click on
the the notification that we were live
you’re here because your spirit and God
sent you here so I pray if you’re
listening to this prayer that you would
know that you are one of one that you
are worthy that you are valuable that
you are valued that you are loved and
you are loved I pray if you’re listening
to this prayer you would no longer be on
the search for something that you
already have which is Love Yourself
identity power favor you have it I pray
if you’re listening to this live that
you would begin to take the steps that
you need to take to become the strongest
individual possible and I pray that if
you want a relationship nothing wrong
with that but allow the relationship to
come in God’s time and don’t spend
another day depressed down angry
frustrated or mad that you don’t have
the right person as long as you align
with the assignment over your life if
God has a person for you that person is
on the path of your assignment not away
from it I pray right now if anyone
listen to this prayer that you would
know you are amazing and you are
wonderful in the name of Jesus we pray
amen amen thank you so much thank you
for all that you are doing in the
industry thank you for all that you were
doing at one I haven’t been at one but I
watch one online like I’m literally one
online family at this point but I will
be back in La soon but just thank you
for how you’re sharing your journey with
us and allowing us all to be inspired it
means a lot I can’t wait to see you in a
couple weeks can’t wait to see you God
bless you as always