This week J Bolin gets close to home by sitting down with super mom, wife, and entreprenuer Racquel Lee. Racquel has been serving up lewks her whole life, but with the newfound responsibilities of motherhood, it’s been a challenging to serve looks while serving her house. But J Bolin is here to make sure no woman gets left behind! For all you full time moms who are yearning to rediscover their style-this episode is for you! REGISTER for Woman Evolve 23: Stay plugged into the Woman Evolve community:

download the app from any mobile device’s app store, first 7 days are FREE! Want to support this ministry? Text GIVE to (833) 611-9066 FOLLOW US ON THE SOCIALS: Instagram: Woman Evolve and Sarah Jakes Roberts Twitter: Woman Evolve and SJakesRoberts Facebook: Woman Evolve and Sarah Jakes Roberts Woman Evolve TV app!



Bowlin and welcome to this episode of

design to shine so it’s important and

anything that you do in life making sure

that you give back making sure that

you’re pouring into others making sure

that you’re doing for others I spoke to

you in one of our prior two episodes

about transformation I think that you

and I both can agree that we all long

for those moments of just one to

transform transforming not necessarily

just our inner person uh Transforming

Our mindset but transforming the Glam

side so today we have with us our lovely

makeover candidate Raquel who is going

to um sit and chill with me for a minute

and we’re going to talk about who you

are how do we meet your need how did you

get to this particular place we’re going

to talk about all those fun things and

I’m excited because she’s a real

um hard-working woman who you know has

children who has a husband you have a

lot to actually balance here and so I

think that you’ll be able to relate at

home by seeing someone who feels a lot

like really relatable not someone has

just glammed up from the beginning and

so Raquel welcome to the house of jibola

I love it

so as you can see I like things that are

like very streamlined very clean lines

all that good stuff right yes I know

that your life at home is probably far

from that oh no this is fabulous

compared to my life oh there’s like

spaghetti stays about carpet and juice

boxes this is nice well okay so you have

how many children I have two I have two

girls uh Channing is four and Charlie

just turned one wow so that’s a three

year Gap yes all right so what did your

wardrobe do in this transition from

being married to having a four-year-old

and then raising that four-year-old and

then all of a sudden three years later

now on top of the four-year-old you’re

balancing yourself career

husband and a second child on the way

what has that been like for you man I

was actually just talking with a friend


random he made a statement and I think

moms often make the statement like I

just got to get back to who I used to be

or how I used to dress and part of my

kids or even getting married I was

always speaking somewhere singing

Somewhere doing something I was very

active even in college I was dressed to

the nines on around Tuesday

so I think my wardrobe prior to children

and just like evolving in my life was

very mature business but like classy but

definitely like why she dressed up and

going somewhere that’s just how I

dressed and I over the top but I just

took pride in my appearance my mom

always so what so what changed that like

if you were dressed to the nine yeah and

that was embedded in you like what

stopped that I think just life like life

as a mom and I hate to make an excuse

for that but it really does change

because you’re home more you’re changing

diapers you’re pumping breast milk and

it’s like well I get these clothes dirty

I’m not going anywhere so then over time

I ended up in like Lounge clothes for

most of the day or mom jeans or easy

shoes to throw on instead of a heel and

so it’s definitely just a lot more

casual there are ways that we’ll talk

about this a little bit but there are

ways that you can actually be a mom and

still be fabulous and still do all those

things that will help accommodate those

moments of like running after a child

four-year-old and running after a one or

two year old at the same time and then

making sure that the husband is good

make sure he has what he needs and on

the go and then you just simply be an

entrepreneur yourself you have quite a

few businesses yourself I do so

full-time I’m a creative director for Ad

Agency so I’ve been in the marketing

industry for 10 plus years now but then

I also have a mom brand called Mama care

it’s a place to Mother ourselves and

really just stressing the importance to

moms that even throughout the postpartum

process we have to find time for

ourselves and not just like the

self-care go get your nails done but

just the full mental emotional physical


um I think just battle and journey of

being everything for everyone else and

also showing up for yourself and I hear

there’s one element that you left off of

that out of your business which is the

fashion side yeah so tell me why did you

leave that one area off you were dressed

to the nine you knew how to do this

thing you knew that was important in the

beginning but you left that off in this

part of the business tell me why

I don’t know Jay

that’s a good question

and it I I it’s not a right or wrong

answer you know I think that after today

you probably will add it on for sure

not necessarily just transforming all

the other things or accommodating all of

the things now it’s going to be all

those things you’re gonna give them the

full package all the way around because

that’s the one thing I feel like that if

if ladies don’t feel their best you

can’t really show up fully for yourself

oh you’re not really showing up fully

for yourself then you don’t really have

anything that overflows and for the

family or for anyone else or for the

future that you may be that you may have

these Big Dreams and now you’re feeling

like okay cool I don’t look like I used

to look so I can’t really go after that

dream anymore or I don’t feel the way I

used to feel and my kids are going to be

all over the place so maybe I shouldn’t

go to this fashion show because if I go

to this fashion show or if I go to this

particular event that’s special how am I

going to look when I walk in are people

going to look at me and I look like a

mama you know what I mean like and yes

you can look like a mom we’re gonna have

you looking like a bad mother okay

that’s that’s the goal we’re gonna kill

me well that’s the goal we’re going to

teach you how how to do that uh what’s

been your biggest frustration when it

comes time for you getting dressed in

the morning A lot of times it’s just

time so after I’m rushing to get Charlie

ready Channel ready get out the door get

snacks and diapers and wipes and Pampers

and all that stuff then it’s like I got

five minutes like I have mastered

goodness the seven minute makeup and I

can beat my face in the car like okay

hurry up quick little situation but then

I find that when I’m out or when I’m

working with clients I’m putting them at

the Forefront but then I don’t feel my

my best or look my best in that so

that’s probably the most frustrating

part and I can relate to that like I

feel like if you’re in a market where

you’re used to transforming other people

and I talked about this and uh two of

our other episodes like I said well Hey

listen I’ve transformed everybody else

in the world and I haven’t taken some

time to really transform myself and I

think it comes in Seasons you have to

continue to revisit it yeah like the way

we do in our business we go back and

revisit our infrastructures to kind of

see what the new Need is what needs to

be met now we have to do the same thing

when it comes to wardrobe because to

every season may require a different

level of of what you bring to the table

fashionably yes so absolutely I think

that and I’m sure you can relate and

know the sentiment of I feel like

fashion even though I’m by no means I

don’t consider myself a fashionist or to

know fashion I know what looks good like

I know what catches my eye but I know

that fashion and your outfit is simply a

reflection of how you feel inside and I

think for some many years or especially

since transitioning to just more roles

and responsibility

you know the the inside of me was

forfeiting myself to show up in the way

that I needed to show up so now I’ve

caught up to the place I remember being

at the mall not too long ago I forgot

what store I was looking at but

everything in there was gorgeous I’m

like oh I’d wear that oh that’s so cute

I’d wear that and but I was talking

about it hypothetically like it was

somebody else that wasn’t me and I

remember I was on the phone with my

husband I started crying in the mall I

was like it feels like that’s the

highest version of myself like if I saw

myself at the highest version of myself

that’s how she would look and he was

like well why can’t you do that now and

so I simply think that fashion now is me

catching up to the mental shift because

you you do have to go through a grieving

process of like losing your old self

which that’s a topic for another day but

just you know grieving your old self

trying to find your new self and now

that I’ve caught up to that now I want I

want to be in a place where I can be

able to make more fashion forward

decisions and really feel good about how

I feel and so that that’s where I am now

that I am you know we do ourselves a

disservice when we don’t choose to put

ourselves on the plate as well and we

all see something else that we want I

just think in life

I think that we all long for something

else so you may be grieving the old self

but the old self is looking at the new

you like I want no no I want you and you

like no no I want you and we always feel

like it’s better on the other side yeah

and I feel like we always try to figure

out like how do we get to this place

like this place this place we all think

about this beautiful place right but not

really enjoying the moment in the now so

getting ready for the now getting

dressed up for the now when you’re

getting ready in the morning time we

want you to wake up once you look

yourself in the mirror and tell yourself

how beautiful you are and all the

amazing things that God has to say about

you and while those kids are yelling in

the background you know they’re gonna

yell they’re gonna spill the spaghetti

on you they all those things are gonna

happen and that part is the part that’s

what I call adulting is being able to

maturely know that when the Spaghetti

Stain gets on you that you can either

have an emergency fashion kit just in

your house that you you can put together

and I’ll tell you what that emergency

fashion kit is you know just of some

things that you need in order to get

those things out of your way it’s the

same way like if you’re getting if you

have a coffee spill you made that coffee

spill you’ll normally angry at yourself

for a few minutes the same with the kids

you get angry for just a minute like

dang it you spill spaghetti all over me

but it shouldn’t ruin your day it’s just

adulting adulting is in that moment I

chose to have this life this is a

beautiful life for me I’m choosing to

have a good day when a mistake happens I

also choose to make sure that I have

something in place that helps me out

with that particular problem so that I

can push past it and move forward yeah I

love that there’s so much duality in it

that’s been my word like there’s Duality

and all of it like Mama hood and even

just if you’re a mom or not if you’re a

wife or not like there’s so many things

that we as women check off our list

every day and so however you show up for

yourself it’s things about it that are

not cute like there’s parts of my day

they are not cute but still a beautiful

life and it’s the life that God has

given me so what are some of the things

that are not cute oh oh well the just

the the body chain like oh that would be

a big help like how do I dress with my

body type like this postpartum belly

that still look like I’m four months but

I’m not like yeah so dressing for my

body type feeling good about the clothes

that I’m wearing like it’s got to be

easy and you know movable

um I think that’s just the physical

aspect but then also just the the mental

um overwhelm of the day is probably not

cute like you’re you’re

um you know checking off these boxes

every day and one of those boxes not

gonna get checked and I can be a

perfectionist and so part of the not

cute process is just realizing that

things will happen in the day like the

other day I was at a friend’s house and

I ran out of diapers for Charlie and she

had a complete blowout and homegirl was

in the back crying off my girl I don’t

have nothing for you like I forgot the

last diaper like that was a rookie Mama

move and now the whole whole car ride

was just stressful and I had to like

talk to myself like it’s okay this is

okay she’s gonna get home the girl is

alive it’s gonna be okay so I think just

finding The Not So Beautiful Moments and

finding a way to still appreciate them

and appreciate them because imagine if

they were not there then you would be

having those moments right but you chose

to have these moments and to everything

requires a bigger you oh everything new

normally requires a bigger you are more

mature you a sweeter softer you all

those things that Fierce you all those

things and we’re talking about the body

types earlier we were talking about this

on our other episodes I was like listen

you gotta have the current wreck bras

you gotta have the correct snatchery and

the waistline you got to have all the

crazy smoothers you gotta have all the

things ladies like that’s the that’s the

biggest thing is that foundation and so

today as we’re getting you dressed we’re

going to address certain things I we

have analyzed and we’ve seen your before

pictures oh my god so as we as we

analyze your body analyze uh after

hearing you now saying this is how I

have to get up this is how I have to go

we’re gonna do something special for you

today that we’re going to allow you to

really Escape that escape where you are

now imagine that everything is at that

high place that you talked about earlier

like if I could just see myself at that

high place well today you’ve walked into

the house of Jay bowling and you’re at

that high place and so today we’re going

to address you for that and we’ll talk a

little bit about why we put it on you

why we’re going to we have a full Glam

Squad here as well we have a celebrity

makeup artist oh my gosh and a celebrity


adult thing

yes this is that like it’ll allow

someone to do for you because you’re so

used to being a great mother nurturing

people nurturing clients of yours

nurturing and making sure um that you’re

a great wife and taking care of home and

the hubby all those things and now today

is just about you

and when you get dressed in the morning

we need you to wake up and have those

moments just for you because like we say

if you don’t show up whole for the

family that’s true then they’re getting

half of you that’s true and you show up

whole and you let whatever the abundance

is flow over for them so today whatever

you find here whatever you get here

whatever you learn here whatever you

learn here we want you to take it

embrace it and apply it thank you yeah

so we’re gonna get you over into our

Glam room hair will be done makeup will

be done and wardrobe will be done and

then next time that you come back in

this room

you’re gonna be a different woman oh my

gosh oh God okay

okay so I’m talking a little low now


Raquel is going to Glam okay so she’s in

really good hands again I said that she

had a celebrity makeup artist celebrity

hairstyles and we brought in the best of

the best that you can think of to be

here with us today and they are going to

kill her