This week J Bolin gets close to home by sitting down with super mom, wife, and entreprenuer Racquel Lee. Racquel has been serving up lewks her whole life, but with the newfound responsibilities of motherhood, it’s been a challenging to serve looks while serving her house. But J Bolin is here to make sure no woman gets left behind! For all you full time moms who are yearning to rediscover their style-this episode is for you! REGISTER for Woman Evolve 23: womanevolve.com/we23conference Stay plugged into the Woman Evolve community: https://www.womanevolve.com
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[Music]
Bowlin and welcome to this episode of
design to shine so it’s important and
anything that you do in life making sure
that you give back making sure that
you’re pouring into others making sure
that you’re doing for others I spoke to
you in one of our prior two episodes
about transformation I think that you
and I both can agree that we all long
for those moments of just one to
transform transforming not necessarily
just our inner person uh Transforming
Our mindset but transforming the Glam
side so today we have with us our lovely
makeover candidate Raquel who is going
to um sit and chill with me for a minute
and we’re going to talk about who you
are how do we meet your need how did you
get to this particular place we’re going
to talk about all those fun things and
I’m excited because she’s a real
um hard-working woman who you know has
children who has a husband you have a
lot to actually balance here and so I
think that you’ll be able to relate at
home by seeing someone who feels a lot
like really relatable not someone has
just glammed up from the beginning and
so Raquel welcome to the house of jibola
I love it
so as you can see I like things that are
like very streamlined very clean lines
all that good stuff right yes I know
that your life at home is probably far
from that oh no this is fabulous
compared to my life oh there’s like
spaghetti stays about carpet and juice
boxes this is nice well okay so you have
how many children I have two I have two
girls uh Channing is four and Charlie
just turned one wow so that’s a three
year Gap yes all right so what did your
wardrobe do in this transition from
being married to having a four-year-old
and then raising that four-year-old and
then all of a sudden three years later
now on top of the four-year-old you’re
balancing yourself career
husband and a second child on the way
what has that been like for you man I
was actually just talking with a friend
of
random he made a statement and I think
moms often make the statement like I
just got to get back to who I used to be
or how I used to dress and part of my
kids or even getting married I was
always speaking somewhere singing
Somewhere doing something I was very
active even in college I was dressed to
the nines on around Tuesday
so I think my wardrobe prior to children
and just like evolving in my life was
very mature business but like classy but
definitely like why she dressed up and
going somewhere that’s just how I
dressed and I over the top but I just
took pride in my appearance my mom
always so what so what changed that like
if you were dressed to the nine yeah and
that was embedded in you like what
stopped that I think just life like life
as a mom and I hate to make an excuse
for that but it really does change
because you’re home more you’re changing
diapers you’re pumping breast milk and
it’s like well I get these clothes dirty
I’m not going anywhere so then over time
I ended up in like Lounge clothes for
most of the day or mom jeans or easy
shoes to throw on instead of a heel and
so it’s definitely just a lot more
casual there are ways that we’ll talk
about this a little bit but there are
ways that you can actually be a mom and
still be fabulous and still do all those
things that will help accommodate those
moments of like running after a child
four-year-old and running after a one or
two year old at the same time and then
making sure that the husband is good
make sure he has what he needs and on
the go and then you just simply be an
entrepreneur yourself you have quite a
few businesses yourself I do so
full-time I’m a creative director for Ad
Agency so I’ve been in the marketing
industry for 10 plus years now but then
I also have a mom brand called Mama care
it’s a place to Mother ourselves and
really just stressing the importance to
moms that even throughout the postpartum
process we have to find time for
ourselves and not just like the
self-care go get your nails done but
just the full mental emotional physical
spiritual
um I think just battle and journey of
being everything for everyone else and
also showing up for yourself and I hear
there’s one element that you left off of
that out of your business which is the
fashion side yeah so tell me why did you
leave that one area off you were dressed
to the nine you knew how to do this
thing you knew that was important in the
beginning but you left that off in this
part of the business tell me why
I don’t know Jay
that’s a good question
and it I I it’s not a right or wrong
answer you know I think that after today
you probably will add it on for sure
not necessarily just transforming all
the other things or accommodating all of
the things now it’s going to be all
those things you’re gonna give them the
full package all the way around because
that’s the one thing I feel like that if
if ladies don’t feel their best you
can’t really show up fully for yourself
oh you’re not really showing up fully
for yourself then you don’t really have
anything that overflows and for the
family or for anyone else or for the
future that you may be that you may have
these Big Dreams and now you’re feeling
like okay cool I don’t look like I used
to look so I can’t really go after that
dream anymore or I don’t feel the way I
used to feel and my kids are going to be
all over the place so maybe I shouldn’t
go to this fashion show because if I go
to this fashion show or if I go to this
particular event that’s special how am I
going to look when I walk in are people
going to look at me and I look like a
mama you know what I mean like and yes
you can look like a mom we’re gonna have
you looking like a bad mother okay
that’s that’s the goal we’re gonna kill
me well that’s the goal we’re going to
teach you how how to do that uh what’s
been your biggest frustration when it
comes time for you getting dressed in
the morning A lot of times it’s just
time so after I’m rushing to get Charlie
ready Channel ready get out the door get
snacks and diapers and wipes and Pampers
and all that stuff then it’s like I got
five minutes like I have mastered
goodness the seven minute makeup and I
can beat my face in the car like okay
hurry up quick little situation but then
I find that when I’m out or when I’m
working with clients I’m putting them at
the Forefront but then I don’t feel my
my best or look my best in that so
that’s probably the most frustrating
part and I can relate to that like I
feel like if you’re in a market where
you’re used to transforming other people
and I talked about this and uh two of
our other episodes like I said well Hey
listen I’ve transformed everybody else
in the world and I haven’t taken some
time to really transform myself and I
think it comes in Seasons you have to
continue to revisit it yeah like the way
we do in our business we go back and
revisit our infrastructures to kind of
see what the new Need is what needs to
be met now we have to do the same thing
when it comes to wardrobe because to
every season may require a different
level of of what you bring to the table
fashionably yes so absolutely I think
that and I’m sure you can relate and
know the sentiment of I feel like
fashion even though I’m by no means I
don’t consider myself a fashionist or to
know fashion I know what looks good like
I know what catches my eye but I know
that fashion and your outfit is simply a
reflection of how you feel inside and I
think for some many years or especially
since transitioning to just more roles
and responsibility
you know the the inside of me was
forfeiting myself to show up in the way
that I needed to show up so now I’ve
caught up to the place I remember being
at the mall not too long ago I forgot
what store I was looking at but
everything in there was gorgeous I’m
like oh I’d wear that oh that’s so cute
I’d wear that and but I was talking
about it hypothetically like it was
somebody else that wasn’t me and I
remember I was on the phone with my
husband I started crying in the mall I
was like it feels like that’s the
highest version of myself like if I saw
myself at the highest version of myself
that’s how she would look and he was
like well why can’t you do that now and
so I simply think that fashion now is me
catching up to the mental shift because
you you do have to go through a grieving
process of like losing your old self
which that’s a topic for another day but
just you know grieving your old self
trying to find your new self and now
that I’ve caught up to that now I want I
want to be in a place where I can be
able to make more fashion forward
decisions and really feel good about how
I feel and so that that’s where I am now
that I am you know we do ourselves a
disservice when we don’t choose to put
ourselves on the plate as well and we
all see something else that we want I
just think in life
I think that we all long for something
else so you may be grieving the old self
but the old self is looking at the new
you like I want no no I want you and you
like no no I want you and we always feel
like it’s better on the other side yeah
and I feel like we always try to figure
out like how do we get to this place
like this place this place we all think
about this beautiful place right but not
really enjoying the moment in the now so
getting ready for the now getting
dressed up for the now when you’re
getting ready in the morning time we
want you to wake up once you look
yourself in the mirror and tell yourself
how beautiful you are and all the
amazing things that God has to say about
you and while those kids are yelling in
the background you know they’re gonna
yell they’re gonna spill the spaghetti
on you they all those things are gonna
happen and that part is the part that’s
what I call adulting is being able to
maturely know that when the Spaghetti
Stain gets on you that you can either
have an emergency fashion kit just in
your house that you you can put together
and I’ll tell you what that emergency
fashion kit is you know just of some
things that you need in order to get
those things out of your way it’s the
same way like if you’re getting if you
have a coffee spill you made that coffee
spill you’ll normally angry at yourself
for a few minutes the same with the kids
you get angry for just a minute like
dang it you spill spaghetti all over me
but it shouldn’t ruin your day it’s just
adulting adulting is in that moment I
chose to have this life this is a
beautiful life for me I’m choosing to
have a good day when a mistake happens I
also choose to make sure that I have
something in place that helps me out
with that particular problem so that I
can push past it and move forward yeah I
love that there’s so much duality in it
that’s been my word like there’s Duality
and all of it like Mama hood and even
just if you’re a mom or not if you’re a
wife or not like there’s so many things
that we as women check off our list
every day and so however you show up for
yourself it’s things about it that are
not cute like there’s parts of my day
they are not cute but still a beautiful
life and it’s the life that God has
given me so what are some of the things
that are not cute oh oh well the just
the the body chain like oh that would be
a big help like how do I dress with my
body type like this postpartum belly
that still look like I’m four months but
I’m not like yeah so dressing for my
body type feeling good about the clothes
that I’m wearing like it’s got to be
easy and you know movable
um I think that’s just the physical
aspect but then also just the the mental
um overwhelm of the day is probably not
cute like you’re you’re
um you know checking off these boxes
every day and one of those boxes not
gonna get checked and I can be a
perfectionist and so part of the not
cute process is just realizing that
things will happen in the day like the
other day I was at a friend’s house and
I ran out of diapers for Charlie and she
had a complete blowout and homegirl was
in the back crying off my girl I don’t
have nothing for you like I forgot the
last diaper like that was a rookie Mama
move and now the whole whole car ride
was just stressful and I had to like
talk to myself like it’s okay this is
okay she’s gonna get home the girl is
alive it’s gonna be okay so I think just
finding The Not So Beautiful Moments and
finding a way to still appreciate them
and appreciate them because imagine if
they were not there then you would be
having those moments right but you chose
to have these moments and to everything
requires a bigger you oh everything new
normally requires a bigger you are more
mature you a sweeter softer you all
those things that Fierce you all those
things and we’re talking about the body
types earlier we were talking about this
on our other episodes I was like listen
you gotta have the current wreck bras
you gotta have the correct snatchery and
the waistline you got to have all the
crazy smoothers you gotta have all the
things ladies like that’s the that’s the
biggest thing is that foundation and so
today as we’re getting you dressed we’re
going to address certain things I we
have analyzed and we’ve seen your before
pictures oh my god so as we as we
analyze your body analyze uh after
hearing you now saying this is how I
have to get up this is how I have to go
we’re gonna do something special for you
today that we’re going to allow you to
really Escape that escape where you are
now imagine that everything is at that
high place that you talked about earlier
like if I could just see myself at that
high place well today you’ve walked into
the house of Jay bowling and you’re at
that high place and so today we’re going
to address you for that and we’ll talk a
little bit about why we put it on you
why we’re going to we have a full Glam
Squad here as well we have a celebrity
makeup artist oh my gosh and a celebrity
[Laughter]
adult thing
yes this is that like it’ll allow
someone to do for you because you’re so
used to being a great mother nurturing
people nurturing clients of yours
nurturing and making sure um that you’re
a great wife and taking care of home and
the hubby all those things and now today
is just about you
and when you get dressed in the morning
we need you to wake up and have those
moments just for you because like we say
if you don’t show up whole for the
family that’s true then they’re getting
half of you that’s true and you show up
whole and you let whatever the abundance
is flow over for them so today whatever
you find here whatever you get here
whatever you learn here whatever you
learn here we want you to take it
embrace it and apply it thank you yeah
so we’re gonna get you over into our
Glam room hair will be done makeup will
be done and wardrobe will be done and
then next time that you come back in
this room
you’re gonna be a different woman oh my
gosh oh God okay
okay so I’m talking a little low now
because
Raquel is going to Glam okay so she’s in
really good hands again I said that she
had a celebrity makeup artist celebrity
hairstyles and we brought in the best of
the best that you can think of to be
here with us today and they are going to
kill her