Lose To Gain – A Film By My Hope With Billy Graham


(Billy Graham)
It’s a little bit frightening

when the sports researcher,
Robert Goldman,

polled 198 world-class
athletes asking,

“Would you take a pill that
would guarantee a gold medal

even if you knew that it
would kill you in 5 years?”

Do you know
what the answer was?

More than half
said they’d do it.

In other words,
they want athletic success

and they want that gold medal

more than they want
life itself.


I was 19,
professional skateboarder.

My name’s on the skateboard.
It’s on shoes.

It’s on tech decks.
It’s on wheels.

It’s in all kinds
of different games.

And the skateboard kids
are screaming at you.

They are obsessing over you.
They love the tricks you do.

They love the team
that you’re with.

I’m riding for Tony Hawk

and the biggest companies
in skateboarding.

You do feel like you’re on top
of the world and rightfully so.

You know, you are
accomplishing something.

♪ Take what you need
’cause I wanna leave ♪♪

(Michael Jr.)
It’s a pretty phenomenal

(female announcer)
Put your hands together
for Michael Jr.!

(Michael Jr.)
On stage
and I tell this joke

and all these people laugh,
like 400 people.

They wanted me to give him
like 2 weeks’ notice.

I was like, “Yo, boss,
2 weeks from now,

you gonna notice
I ain’t been here in 2 weeks.”

Strangers, black people,
white people, women, kids,

I have them all laughing.

My son looks at me out of
nowhere and he just said to me,

“Dad, I want to be a doctor.”

I was like,
“Yes, yes, yes!”

Then he said,
“Or a dinosaur.”

[audience laughing]

I understood
this is what I’m gonna do.

He was amazing
and he was in love with me.

It was
like being on cloud nine.

I felt like we had
so much in common.

I was just taken.

I had found a guy

that was beyond
my wildest imagination.

Everything I wanted
in my life he had.


I would give anything
and I did.

I’ll hold onto it
at all costs.

(Michael Jr.)
And I feel this high.

It was just in me.
It was awakened.

It was stirring and I want
to do whatever I need to do

to get it back.

I felt like I would do
anything for him, anything.

And I just wanted to keep it,
whatever that took.

My name is Michael Jr.
I’m gonna do some jokes.

But they’re not gonna start
right away.

As I started pursuing
doing comedy,

I’m having some success
in the Midwest,

and I feel like I need
to test my skills

in New York City.

‘Cause in New York,

if you’re not funny,
the way they let you know

is they something like,
“You’re not funny.”

So I moved to New York.


So now I’m in New York,

and I’m all about
seeing what I can do

to get
my comedy career going

and the clubs in New York
are really hard to get into.

I finally got
my chance to perform

and right before
I go on stage,

this comedian
named George Wallace walks in.

Now George Wallace,
I love him.

Here’s the problem, though.

When someone
like George Wallace walks in,

whoever’s next
automatically gets bumped.

The manager’s
walking over and he says,

“Michael, listen,
George Wallace is here.

Would you like to go on
before him or after him?”

(male announcer)
Welcome to the stage
Michael Jr.!

(Michael Jr.)
So I’m going
before George Wallace,

I do my comedy set and
I’ve got New Yorkers laughing

and then George Wallace
starts to laugh.

And then he comes over
to me and he says to me,

“You know,
you’re really funny,”

and he invites me to do a show
with him and his best friend.

I get to the club

and he tells me his best friend
is Jerry Seinfeld.

I grew up in Liverpool,
England, pretty rough place.

I got in some fights as a kid,

it was maybe out of fear that
something bad was gonna happen,

and skating
was the way out for me.

You fast forward a bit,
there I am.

I’m 15.

I’ve been skating a few years.
I’ve won contests.

I get a phone call from
my friend who lives in America

who wants me to come over

and ride for one
of the companies there.

This is one of the first
skate movies I was really in.

It was over
a million dollars to make.

Tony Hawk tour.

We would just show up
at the skatepark

and the whole town
would call everyone.

It would be on TV
in all different places.

This was pretty big.


By the age of 19, I’d fallen
in love with an American girl

and I asked her to marry me.

We were just so in love.

We just started
putting everything together,

writing about our life

and it was just
all lovey-dovey.

I’ve never
had to work to begin with

and now there’s hundreds
of thousands of dollars

coming in a year.

I’d be on these tours
where it was all about you.

I mean, kids had your haircut,
they had your pants.

Life was good.

[phone ringing]

– Hello?
– Hi, dad.

I actually can’t remember
a time in my life

when my dad
was consistently around.

Every time my dad would see me,
he would say things like,

“I feel
you’ve grown up so much,”

and it would just sting

because I always felt
like he should be here

as it’s happening.

So I’m living in New York
now and I was wondering,

would you maybe
want to come visit?

It was really lonely, so I
looked for attention from guys.

So I just jumped

from serious relationship
to serious relationship.

And finally
when I was a senior,

I met this guy
that swept me off my feet.

He was amazing.

He had written a book and
he was a professional dancer,

and he owned a business.

And we both loved
grape Laffy Taffy which–

I mean whatever.

I was thrilled.

I thought I’d found the love

that I’d always been
looking for, you know?

And it felt
like my epic love story.

♪ Here we go ♪

♪ Here we go ♪♪

So we were engaged
after 3 months.

What I didn’t know
when I first met him though

was that the one thing

that I thought
was gonna bring my happiness

was actually
just making me miserable.

(Billy Graham)
Where is peace?

Where is fulfillment?

Where is life’s purpose
and meaning?

How many of you are crying
tonight on the inside?

On the outside,
you have a mask.

Inside, the peace
and the joy and the happiness

that you’ve always
searched for is missing.

You see, the whole country’s
on a quest for something.

In drugs, in sex,
in entertainment,

we want something.

We don’t quite know
what it is and it’s elusive.

We don’t find it.

All of a sudden
in the midst of a crowd,

in the midst of a dance,

in the midst
of the band playing,

you face will suddenly
have a little cloud over it

just for an instant.

It’s just a moment

in which it seems
that it’s not all put together,

the puzzle is not put together

and then you forget it
and you go on.

But it’s there and it’ll grow
through the years,


♪ Have you ever seen
the top of the world? ♪♪

(Michael Jr.)
So here I am,
I’m about to hit the stage

with George Wallace
and Jerry Seinfeld.

My uncle was really cheap.
Man, he was cheap.

He bought me
an action figure, right?

That’s what he said it was.

I open up the box
and it’s empty.

He talking about,
“That’s invisible man.”

I played with it
for like 2 weeks, man…

then I lost it.

I do two shows and I get
two standing ovations.

I ripped.

Things are starting to happen
for me in New York.

There was still a sense
of there has to be more.

I’m funny.

I can make a room
of 1,000 people laugh,

and then what?

Am I only here
to make people laugh?

(Billy Graham)
We go on in our pleasures

they’re gonna last forever…

but they don’t.

(Michael Jr.)
I really thought
that I was a good person.

I didn’t smoke.
I didn’t drink.

I didn’t do
any of those things,

and it gave me a false sense
of me being okay.

The truth is
is I was just as lost

as the person
who was using drugs every day.

I had tried so many things
the way that I wanted to do it.

I knew there
had to be a better way.

I walk into this church
and this guy’s up on stage

and he’s talking about Jesus.

I said,
“He just talking about Jesus.

“He’s not screaming.

“He’s not angry.
He’s not yelling.

“He don’t got know perm.
He don’t got no towel.

“He’s just talking
about this guy named Jesus,

in a way
that I can understand.”

Life was bigger than just me.

It’s so not just about me
and what I can get.

So I told myself
I’d read the whole Bible

and I remember
getting to the part in Matthew

where it explained
that Jesus died for me.

I am 27 years old
at this point. I didn’t know.

I didn’t know.

I started realizing
how lost I really was.

So I just simply said to God,

“I’m sorry.
I messed up.”

And I received Jesus Christ
as my Lord and Savior.

And when I did that,
this peace came over me

that I’m not gonna even try
to explain it to you.

I didn’t know where
I would be the next day,

but I knew what I
was going to be aiming for.

I was gonna be aiming

for whatever
Jesus wanted me to do.

That’s really the only thing
that mattered.

(Billy Graham)
“What shall it profit
a man,” Jesus said,

“if he gains the whole world
and loses his soul?”

Suppose you had
all the knowledge

and all the wealth

and all the power
in the whole world today

and lost your soul,

and many of you
are doing just that.

You’ve gained
all that you can gain,

but your soul
you’re not sure about.

Deep in your heart,
something is missing,

you don’t know what it is.

The thing that’s missing

is that personal relationship
with Christ.

So there I was
19 on tour with Tony Hawk.

I’m living
the American dream.

But you know what?

I’d gained everything

but I had no clue
about anything in reality.

My wife and I, you know,
we’re making it

where there’s money coming in.

There’s more magazine covers.
There’s more product coming out.

But on the inside,
there’s jealousy,

there’s trust issues and things
just began to change overnight.

Now I’m fighting with this woman
and I’m calling her names

I would want no one
to call my mother.

My fist going into walls,
just obnoxious and angry.

Within just a year
or 2 of being together,

like so many other statistics,
we filed for divorce.

What’s going on in my life?

I’m gonna just have a life
that’s sad and hurtful?

Why am I even living?

Does any of this matter
if I’m not happy?

And I just turned
and said to God,

“Whoever you are, If I
don’t figure this thing out

“I don’t want to be
around anymore.

If I don’t figure this thing out
I don’t want to live anymore.”

(Billy Graham)
Too many think that you
can live any way you like

and get away with it,
but you can’t.

Be sure your sin
will find you out.

You see, sin is a disease.

It’s destructive,
and we all have it.

The Bible says,
“All have sinned.”

What can we do about it?

Come to the cross.

We need to repent and turn
by faith to Jesus Christ.

Let Christ forgive
your sins, change your life,

turn you in a new direction.

You can have peace
in your heart right now.

You can have peace
of mind right now

by surrendering your life
and your heart to Jesus Christ.

Because of where I was
with Tracy,

I got into some fights
with people.

So now I’m arrested.
I’m on probation.

I have community service
at a Christian thrift store.

All these old dusty Bibles,

all these funny,
old smelly clothes.

So I go to this Christian
thrift store and,

“Oh, hey, bro, if you want
to get some more hours,

“come across to the church.

Sit in the service
and we’ll give you extra hours.”

So what would Brian do?

I’m a skateboarder.
I haven’t got to be anywhere.

I drive over there,
hung out with all these people,

these crazy Christians who love
this God that we can’t see

and bit by bit,
God was dealing with me.

And it was that night
after church,

after being confronted
for my sin,

I went home
and started praying.

I get before
the Lord and I say,

“God, whoever you are,

“I believe you’re the God
of the Bible.

“I believe you’re the God

“that sent your only Son
to die on the cross,

“but I don’t know
any more than that.

“I can’t follow a book.
I can’t follow a church.

“I need
an encounter with you

“like you talk about
in your Scriptures

that you’ll come in
and forgive me as I repent.”

I spent 40 minutes that night
on my face before the Lord.

It was like
I felt the presence of God

just show up in that room.

I felt the presence
as if it was here right now,

I just felt it hit me.

I knew it was real.

Everything I’d ever thought
just was gone in an instant.

I was forever changed,

and the message that was once
so foolish of the cross

became powerful to me.

I fell down on my face
and began to weep and just said,

“I can’t believe
this is real.”


This is insane.

I was remarried soon after
to the same woman.

If I had everything
in this world,

I’d give it all up
to follow Christ.

It isn’t just that God
restored my family.

It’s that he saved me,
transformed me

and that’s
who he is to me today.

He’s my Lord and Savior.

All I really wanted

was a man who would love me

I was willing to do
what he wanted.

I slept with him.

I moved in with him.

I gave up my friends.

I gave up my family.

I gave up everything
just to be with him.

Then something happened
and it all kind of turned on me.

If I would go 1 1/2 hour
without texting him,

he’d get upset.

I wasn’t good enough.

My opinion about everything
wasn’t good enough.

Things just went
from bad to worse.

I didn’t know
why he didn’t love me

the way that he used to.

Why didn’t he care about me
the way that he used to?

Why wasn’t I enough
the way that I used to be?

Being angry wasn’t enough.

I could slam things.
I could break everything.

I still wouldn’t have
the one thing that I wanted,

which was his heart.

Oh, I would just feel so sad
and broken and little.

Even though I broke
up with him,

I realized that I had just made
a total mess of my life.

(Billy Graham)
Ye shall know the truth,

and the truth shall
make you free.

Jesus said, “I am the Way,
the Truth and the Life.

“I am the embodiment
of all truth

“and I can set you free,
free from your anxieties,

“free from your troubles
and problems.

I can give you a peace
to go through them.”

Now, he doesn’t take
your troubles and problems away,

but he gives you
a peace and a joy

that will enable you
to go through them

and live through them

if you put your trust
and your faith in him.

I was so lonely.

I felt like I was never
going to be enough.

I started reading
this book about Christianity,

about who Jesus was
and what he had done for me.

I realized that he placed
such value on my life.

He loved me so much
he put his life on the line,

and he really
did die for me

and yet I’ve been living
like I didn’t care.

It was just like,
“Okay, God, I know I’m a sinner

“and I know I need you,

“and I know I need you
to change things now

’cause I can’t do it.”

He was everything
that I wanted

except that it was eternal
and it was lasting

and it was real,

and it wasn’t gonna
change tomorrow.

He’s restored my life
and even my dad.

Now he’s one of the closest
people to me in my life.

I never thought
that was possible.


Jesus took my life
in its darkest point,

in its deepest pit,

and he showed me
that he loved me

that he was willing
to die for me.

Jesus is the only way.

He’s the only thing that’s
deserving of my entire life

and he’s worth it.

(Billy Graham)
The Scripture
says he loves you

and he gave himself for you.

Jesus Christ made the supreme
sacrifice on the cross

for your pardon
and your salvation

and it’s by grace;
you don’t deserve it.

I deserve judgment
and hell and so do you.

But Christ
paid the price for me.

Jesus became guilty
of your sins and my sins.

And now if I come to him,

God applies what he did
on the cross to me.

He bore our sins.

We don’t understand it,

but in some mysterious,
wonderful way,

God placed upon Christ our sins

and you must respond
by repentance.

What is repentance?

It means that you’re willing to
turn over your life to Christ,

turn over your life
to God and say,

“Oh God, I need you.
I receive you.”

And then by faith,
you receive Christ.

Have you received him?

I’m going to ask you tonight

to make sure of
your relationship with Christ.

You may never again
in your whole life

have a moment
like this tonight.

You have no promise of tomorrow.

You have no promise

that your heart will be feeling
the way it feels tonight.

God is speaking.

Do you know him?

Are you sure?

You’re making a choice
between Christ

and all that the world
has to offer

and you’re saying,
“Lord, I’m putting you first

from this moment on.”

Come to Christ!

If you’d like
to receive Christ,

you can pray
a prayer like I did.

Like I prayed.

Just like this.

Dear God,
I’m a sinner.

I’m sorry for my sins.

I want to turn
from my sins.

I believe
Jesus Christ is your Son.

I believe he died for my sin.

And that you
raised him to life.

I want to trust him
as my Savior.

And follow him as Lord.

From this day forward

Jesus, I put my trust in you.

And I surrender
my life to you.

Please come into my life

and fill me
with your Holy Spirit.

And I pray this
in the name of Jesus.

And I pray this
in the name of Jesus.