Overcoming Approval Addiction

this program is brought to you in part

by the partners and Friends of Klo

Dollar

Ministries coming up next on changing

your

world the LIE is if I am approved by

others then I have

value that’s the lie if other people

approve of me then I have a high

self-esteem then I have value you know

where that’s

going the preoccupation with how other

people will view us and seeking their

approval can so consume us that it

becomes an addiction I’m so consumed

about what you think about

me a room filled with Brilliant Minds

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[Music]

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we live a new life oh let us love shine

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you we’re Sav by his grace so we Embrace

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today we are

Chang I’m about to talk about something

that I don’t have to ask you to raise

your hands maybe you don’t know it but

everybody in here here at one time or

another has been impacted and

affected by something called approval

addiction to be this kind of addict

could derail the very call of God that

he has placed on your

life it can also cause mental health

issues it can cause you to be so focused

on the wrong

thing that you find yourself

at a place in your life where you’re

ready to end it

all those irritations those fear of

rejection the depression the heaviness

that most of us

carry it’s rooted in this

deal of being addicted to

approval your

teenagers suffer grossly if they’re not

getting the approval necessary through

social media through the number of likes

and so

forth that I have come to recognize that

our

society is a society

filled with a bunch of

addicts that are

addicted to

validation and to

approval my text for this morning starts

off with showing you a

man who did that 1 Samuel 15 and vers

vers

24 and in 1st Samuel chapter 15 this is

the story where Samuel gave a word of

the Lord to

Saul and he told Saul to destroy and to

kill

everything every animal every person in

the tribe everything was supposed to be

killed and Saul was so addicted to

people

that he chose to do what pleased the

people instead of doing what pleased

God let me show you what happened here 1

Samuel chapter 15 and verse 24 and Saul

said unto Samuel I have sinned for I

have transgressed the Commandment of the

Lord and thy words because I feared the

people and obeyed their

voices he says I have sinned I was

afraid of the people and so I gave in to

them another translation

says one of the things you see here is

that King Saul lost his relationship

with God he lost his kingdom he lost his

relationship with his son

Jonathan the Bible says that Samuel said

because you rejected the Lord the Lord

has rejected

you and

why this is how he explains it he said I

was afraid of the people so I gave in to

them but listen he was the king he had

nothing physically to fear from them

they adored him in fact they some were

actually idolized him as

king he sought their approval so much

that he wouldn’t make a decision he

thought might reap their

disapproval no one had threatened him

he’s the king no one was asking him to

do

anything and at this point it was all in

his

head but what he thought could

happened dominated

him his approval addiction caused him to

act

foolishly and ultimately compromised his

future if you continue to read the story

about

Saul demons that got into his

soul and eventually he

died now look at John chapter

12 lost everything his his his his

entire future

derailed because of approval

addiction John 12: 42 and

43 he says nevertheless among the chief

rulers also many believed on him

but because of the Pharisees they did

not confess him lest they should be put

out of the synagogue 43 for they love

the praise of men more than the praise

of God of course another translation

says many believed in Jesus but they

would not admit it for fear of the

Pharisees so there were a lot of the

leader Jewish leaders that believed in

Jesus but they were afraid to admit it

because they feared what the other

Jewish

Pharisees would say the Bible says that

they were more concerned to have the

approval of man than the approval of

God so when Jesus was here as the living

breathing Messiah I mean he was

compelling nobody nobody would doubt

that he was very compelling many more

believed in him than the ones who

actually you know followed him they

believed his

claims uh then but they wouldn’t follow

him

and why because they were afraid of the

disapproval of the Jews they were more

concerned to have their approval of men

than to have the approval of God and

their approval addiction changed their

Destiny and it cost them their eternity

change their Destiny those who who

believe but wouldn’t follow because of

approval addiction it change their

Destiny approval addiction has

far-reaching

consequences in the moment it lowers our

self-esteem it hinders our witness it

makes God’s plan for us impossible to

carry out because we’re so addicted to

the approval of

others and long term it can cost us

everything and when we seek the approval

of the group we will always find it to

be ficked and

changing security and well-being are

never found in chasing the approval of

the

crowd it steals our Eternal peace and it

robs us of our relationship with

God living for the audience of

one living for the audience of one is

the way to satisfaction it’s the way to

strength it’s the way to significance

and when you can lay your head on your

pillar at night sing that he is

pleased your sleep will be

sweet and your daylight hours are going

to be filled with purpose because when

you go to bed you go to bed knowing that

God approves of

you so that’s an unusual way to give a

text but I wanted to show you that this

is not just you know a therapeutic

sermon this is a serious issue in the

word of

God if you live under a burden of guilt

if you live under a burden of Shame if

you live under a burden of

condemnation feeling insecure feeling

unrighteous feeling

unworthy with a low self-esteem and low

self-worth if you’re having the

excessive need for approval validation

and acceptance from

others you are most likely an addict

addicted to approval

because you fear rejection you fear

judgment you fear disapproval from

others to the point that you try to

avoid rocking the boat at any cost

because of that approval addiction so

let’s get involved in this right now

what is an approval

addict how would you define an approval

addict it’s someone who relies on

approval of other for their

self-esteem and their self value their

worth if you are relying on others and

their approval of you to Value yourself

to have self-esteem to have

self-worth you most likely are addicted

to

approval approval addiction is the

excessive need for approval it’s the

excessive need for validation and

acceptance from

others approval addiction can be very

damaging to a person’s self-esteem and

it can be very damaging to your

self-worth and it can lead to anxiety it

can lead to depression and it can lead

to other mental health issues that’s how

serious this

is and before you’re so quick to say you

don’t have one think about why is it

that you feel so bad when somebody

didn’t approve of your address or

approve of your comment or approve of

your husband or wife that you decided to

marry or approve of the decision that

you made on certain

things I am here this morning to say

don’t believe the lie don’t believe the

lie that in order to feel good about

yourself you have to be approved by

certain

people don’t believe that

lie you do not have to have somebody’s

approval in

order to feel good about yourself

I don’t need somebody’s approval for me

to do what God told me to

do and there’s a lot of approving

there’s a lot of approval addicts in the

pull

pit that I won’t say certain things

because you might not approve of it how

you know that ain’t

me boy

what so the LIE is if I am approved by

others then I have

value that’s the lie if other people

approve of me then I have a high

self-esteem then I have value you know

where that’s

going the preoccupation with how other

people view us and seeking their

approval can so consume us that it

becomes an addiction I’m so consumed

about what you think about me

amen amen I used to go places and preach

and after I preach I I needed to ask

several people how did I do how did you

think they doing what was going on here

I was looking for approval to feel good

about what I what I

preached there were certain people that

I knew and people that I respected and

honored I I was so working hard for

their

approval oh my God what do I have to do

to to get their approval oh they’re not

inviting me to their church because they

don’t approve of me and then I’m working

hard to get somebody’s approve how many

you know you’re working so hard to get

somebody’s approval you’re no longer

thinking about the approval that God has

given you and you’ll find yourself not

carrying out what God wants you to carry

out let me show you a couple of

scriptures here Galatians chapter 1

verse 10 in the NLT Galatians chap 1 and

verse 10 in the NLT this is strong

you know kids want an approval for from

certain gangs or certain people and and

and and if I can get their approval I

have value you want to know why our

society is the way it is right now

because we’re working hard that you know

our value is based on who approves of

me he says in verse 10 Paul is speaking

here and the Apostle Paul said obviously

I am not trying to win the approval of

people amen

amen I mean cuz Paul says some heavy

stuff he’s like obviously you know I’m

not trying to win the approval of

people but I’m trying to win the

approval of

God if pleasing people were my

goal I would not be Christ

servant you can’t make pleasing people

your

goal what your goal should be is the

will of God for your life I want to know

what the will of God for my life is and

then go with me to St John in the NLT St

John chap 5:

41-44 St John chapter 5 and and I’m

sharing all these scriptures at the

beginning because once I get started I

want you to know this is a Biblical

issue as well as a societal

issue it’s big in our

society and I tell you when I say that

the greatest Deliverance you can ever

have is deliverance from people I

absolutely mean that I am so free it

don’t even make no

sense it really doesn’t make any sense

at

all I was in New York in in one of our

major conventions with a flower shirt on

and some loud jeans I

I’m I don’t need somebody’s approval for

for me to wear what I want to wear now

at one time I did at one time I I wore

The Bishop’s collar around my neck it

ain’t nothing wrong with under I’m just

saying for me to try to get my value and

my self-esteem based on somebody’s

approval of me was distracting me from

you know the purpose for which I was

called and the purpose for why I was

supposed to be there and I’m wondering

how many of you are being distracted

from the call of God the will of God the

path that God wants you to go down the

plan of God because somebody

somewhere uh is you’re you’re you’re

allowing them and their approval of you

to determine your

value I don’t need my family’s

approval I don’t need my children’s

approval I don’t I don’t need I don’t

need to to do what God called me to do

no and we work hard to get our

children’s approval to get our families

approval we you work hard to do that you

don’t even think it’s there but it’s

there you’re worried and you’re

miserable as a parent because they won’t

give you their

approval I don’t need their approval to

do what God told me to do I did what God

told me to do I did it the best I knew

how and I am not waiting for the rest of

my life to see if you’re going to

approve of what I

did because it it distracts me from

being who I need to be and no then guess

what happens shame comes condemnation

comes all those things come because

you’re not getting the approval that you

hear other people give you’re not

getting that that same approval oh they

magnify this guy oh he’s awesome oh

they’re that and you’re wanting that

approval too and when you don’t get it

you become distracted and could end up

losing the very thing that God gave you

to bless you because you’re so hungry

for somebody’s approval that’s an

atct may not be with with marijuana may

not be with different drugs but you’re

an addict of the worst kind an approv

addict and God wants you to be free from

that today praise God he wants you to

walk out of here today believing that

you have value believing that he has

already approved of you and if he has

already approved if if God has already

approved of you you don’t need nobody

else’s approval do what God told you to

do I can’t tell you how free I am I’m so

free I can teach this to you

today if beat the snot out of me and and

listen I’m not perfectly there where

this is concerned I find myself like

uhoh what is that up up up I I feel like

I need their approval I need I need

their approval of me in order for me to

have value no look what he says in verse

41 this is so

awesome he said your approval means

nothing to

me because I know you don’t have God’s

love love within

you see you’re trying to get approval

from people who don’t

[Applause]

care and that’s why you try to buy

something you can’t

afford trying to get proval from

somebody that don’t care spending money

to try to buy something that you can’t

afford just so somebody can say you’re

successful you buy a great nice car to

so somebody say you’re successful but

they don’t know how bad you’re feeling

that car is hurting you it hurts when

you drive that car because you got to

pay this much money per month you paying

more money for that car and you could be

living you could have a roof over your

head but you but you you you did

something

foolish because you wanted to be valued

by somebody who don’t even care they

ain’t got no love for you amen

[Applause]

wow he says he says your your your

approval of mean means nothing because I

know you don’t have God’s love within

you for I have come to you in my

father’s

name and you have rejected me Jesus said

yet if others come in their own name you

gladly welcome them and that’s what it

looks like you’re you’re facing the deal

of Lou they’re giving their approval to

somebody else but they won’t give their

approval to men then you start you start

working for it you start working for it

listen I know everybody don’t love being

don’t like me and I’m good with that but

there was a time I had this weird idea

that I can get everybody to love and

like me that is

insane you ever put something on social

media Med and you expect for everything

to be positive there’s always going to

be somebody out there don’t you dare put

something up there and say how do you

like my sweater oh that’s nice oh that

beautiful oh you look like a china

cabinet with that sweater

on for I’ve come to you in my father’s

name and you’ve rejected me yet in yet

if others come in their own name you

gladly welcome

them no wonder you came

believe for you gladly honor each

other but you don’t care about the honor

that comes from the one who alone is

God I’m telling you this is a big issue

here and look at 1 Thessalonians chapter

2: 3-6 in the New Living Translation 1

Thessalonians 2 3-6 we we’ll we’ll get

into how this stuff operates but I’m

just showing you how we kind of missed

it throughout the scriptures it’s just

all over the

scripture 1 Thessalonians CH chapter 2:

3-6 he says so you can see we were not

preaching with any uh decent or impure

motives or

trickery for we speak as

Messengers

approved by God to be entrusted with the

good news our purpose is to please God

not people

yeah I say I say our purpose is to

please

God and not

people he alone examines the motives of

our

hearts oh my

goodness never once did we try to win

you with flattery as you well know and

God is our witness that we were not

pretending to be your friends just to

get your

money as for human praise we have never

sought it from you or anyone else we

want human praise we want to be able to

make a rap song we want human praise we

want to be able to get the nicest tenure

we want human praise we want to get the

nicest H we want human praise and that

is something that is just just in our

society big time to where we will

pretend that we’re something that we’re

not so we can get get human

praise are you addicted to other

people’s opinions of you the desire for

approval and the fear of rejection can

harm our mental health and derail God’s

perfect plan for us in his series

overcoming approval addiction crlo

dollar illuminates how to reach Eternal

peace without others approval stop

comparing yourself God did something

awesome with you he made you

authentically you you don’t have to do

too much to please God why cuz he’s

already pleased the day you believed was

the day he was pleased see you don’t

know how God will use you do not let

approval addiction stop you from getting

where God wants you to be now this

two-part series is available to you for

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