Lisa Bevere and Havilah Cunnington, both mothers of four boys, give you the tools you need to navigate the crazy season of motherhood.
okay I am super super excited about this
and I’m super excited that you are
joining I’m Lisa Bevere this is havilah
Huntington and we are doing something
we’ve never done together no we are
talking about raising boys and we we
were we were shocked havilah you put up
the picture of us and and then like wow
it’s randomly I thought you know we’re
gonna get together and we’re gonna video
a series on children and boy
specifically specifically boys cuz we
had like you think about girl we do boy
so you know we have eight boys between
the two of us yeah
and so we just threw up there and said
you know I thought well let me ask the
moms that are raising boys because I
know we have questions and I’m always
asking you about raising boys you know
what do you guys have and we were
bombarded then we had 550 comments
between the two of us that like landed
on our sites and asking us really good
questions about how do we raise these
like you said mancubs
or boy cubs I can’t call my boys anymore
they’re like sands and Ray Ray race but
yours are your mind like the Maggie cubs
yeah boy boy boy baby Cubs yeah so so we
are doing a motherhood marathon yeah
this is for moms of boys pretty much a
dominant question yeah had to do with
males and their body parts but we are we
are a few things I think we’re finally
empowered to do this question and how
did we connect because you have just
been a treasure but we only known each
other for the last year and how did we
connect well it’s amazing because you
know I’m this mom over in Northern
California who’s really trying to figure
it out you know at four we have four
boys my husband and I ages eight are
actually nine eight five and three with
these little guys and you know when you
have four boys I like to say like I was
raised in a girl family like I have a
mom I have a twin sister and I have an
Italian dad who’s almost a girl and so
like we are very like I was in a female
home and then all of a sudden I hear I
am surrounded by five men and so one
thing I learned early on in life was to
get a vision like find something that
you someone that inspires you and they
are your personal hope and so like I
personally were so I found Lisa and her
family and
they looked it was a beautiful picture
but I I really last age you know
whatever most of our lives are staged
when people are clean and you know the
diapers are changed but it you know it
was something right I saw her and I
thought like this woman her all her boys
are alive like that’s the first of all
other woman who’s lived in a house of
poor boys that are alive with their life
I mean she looked relative like gorgeous
obviously with like she looked happy and
those other things and and her boys all
had their limbs you know and so there
was like yeah there’s a major yeah so I
went I basically it was kind of bold and
I never ever do this but I put on my
hey if one of my friends want to
introduce Middle East Bevier would you
do that and I had a couple friends that
introduced Turkish I think it was Lisa
tour curse yeah yep yep yep
and then a couple other Lisa’s in our
lives and then and then I I think we got
at numbers and our exchanged phone
numbers and you I thought we would have
this really like distant texting like
hey love your ministry thank you for
being such an amazing hero of mine and
Lisa you you said you text when you go
I’m driving I’ll call you in a little
while and I remember thinking like
should I go get my bra like I’d like is
someone gonna see me like I just I got
really nervous and said no got my phone
but you don’t I mean in like let me open
my Bible and maybe I should memorize
some scripture second throw it out in
the conversation and I had this kind of
you know internal panic but then we
talked we talked on the and you it was
awesome your honor in an airport and you
were from the moment we talked to you
put me to use and we started this
friendship yeah and this beautiful thing
I found out that Havilah is half
Sicilian and I’m have Sicilian and so
that was an immediate like connection on
immediately I felt jerison if you are
dealing with all of this intensity on
the inside of an intensity and loudness
on the outside it can be it can be an
explosion really intense and then I
think there’s stripping my feminine she
started to be little pictures of
nature’s me
why can’t they keep their clothes on and
I said it will not stop or destroy
things that are destroyed or broken it’s
just not gonna ask you just right now so
like we did we did try to talk and then
recently I was introduced to a term and
so I’m gonna I’m gonna put anybody out
there if you are a mother of boys you
get to be called a mob mom mom mom thank
you
a mob lump even if you’re not Sicilian
like right we’re double still abide but
yeah your mob mom and so we put it out
there yeah 550 questions so much just
you know so many moms wanting to know am
i doing it right and my is there
something wrong with me is there with my
children you know all the things that we
face another hood which is just that
instantaneous do I have what it takes
for what’s in front of me and it kind of
brings up all the the you know the crud
that like comes to the surface we you
know that just cause you to cause makes
you wonder like do I have what it takes
and you know I feel like we’re faced
with our own humanity instantaneously of
I cannot hide I cannot hide when I’m a
mom they’re gonna see me every day and
day in day out so your questions are
really good and your children will
actually tell things in public on you
absolutely I felt like our third side
like my first two I felt like I could
brainwash them enough to like my third
side it’s like we have no secrets if I
say anything he’s like my mom said this
today so you get it the third one is the
charm on that one you know and I also
would say you know right away I want you
to know we’re not perfect no or not
we’re not perfect moms but there are
things that we’ve learned the hard way
that there’s absolutely no reason you
should have to learn the same lessons we
learned the hard way the hard way you
you are not alone and you are going to
make mistakes in your future but the
truth is God is bigger than our mistakes
and God has a plan and he’s gonna redeem
it and we want you to know we haven’t
done it perfectly but we have done it
well yeah which means which means having
a son that is 29 turning 30 this year
which is crazy 30 30
thirty-year-old so – when she was 27
yeah I got 56 this year is that right
it’s 56 Jeff so I have 2029 almost 30 27
24 almost 25 and 21 minutes so I’ve got
mine on the man stage and she has that
man in making stage and we’re getting
this together because have a lot we’re
actually commanded by the Word of God in
Titus 2 3 it commands us it’s it says
the older women must must must teach and
train the younger women teach and train
know how to love their husbands you know
how to train their children on how to do
good and so what we’re gonna do is we’re
gonna be open we’re gonna be vulnerable
we are hoping that you’re gonna laugh
and cry we want both of those extremes
so just be prepared and we we want to
open up our life so that you can
actually learn yeah from our mistakes
yeah and you know so have littell tell
the most challenging story you’ve ever
had
well you know I think initially having
my two boys I felt that two were
manageable again you’re you know like as
101 all that yeah it’s like you know
yeah what you can give it to somebody or
there’s a baby sleeping we had our first
two we had 17 months apart so I got
pregnant at nine months that was kind of
my I’ve realized I had some happy work
on purpose you know it was it was a it
was a week I mean we could get a woman
tired but we you know we we didn’t
really you know we didn’t really plan it
but it wasn’t we weren’t disappointed so
we had our two boys and by the third
something wasn’t right I didn’t know I
mean obviously life wasn’t right in
terms of craziness but something
internally wasn’t right for me and I
remember going to my pediatrician early
on and I had a baby that was about
that’s it was about three months old and
I remember going to the pediatrician
saying something is not right and she
said I think you’re dealing with
postpartum depression and I had never
heard the term I was a Christian leader
so we I mean depression felt like
something we had bought into I I didn’t
understand any of it
but I ran to a counselor who was a
Christian pastor in town that I went and
met with and she was a
using women and she began to help me and
I realized that I really did deal with
postpartum depression with a couple of
my children and that was really intense
exhaustion weird time you don’t know
like it’s like those commercials that
are like are you tired are you
overwhelmed that everyone’s like yes yes
yes but I know I did everyone should be
on that medication cuz everyone’s ever
what you know everything is happening at
us but for me I really came to a
breaking point in my in parenting where
I I realized that I had to set up a
healthy me and I I didn’t give myself
any permission for that it was almost
like kids were added into my life versus
me like figuring out how to do life with
them well and so yeah I had a crisis
early on and really had to walk out of
some dark places with the help of of
renewing my mind that was really and we
can talk clearly more about that but
I’ve got some real help in figuring out
and getting myself permission for things
to be good enough and not perfect that
was huge for me mm-hmm
and just realizing that it’s my family
it’s not anyone else’s family and I have
to do what God called me to do with them
and steward them so you know that was
kind of my crisis early on with my
kiddos when they were little and walking
through that and and I I wanted to have
a depression but my children would like
get on my bed and climb on top of me and
drive cars over the top of me and I
obviously just and I had a husband that
traveled full-time he only visited our
children and was home enough to pregnant
pregnant me into laundry but so so I
felt like a single parent I was
overwhelmed and I I had a list in my
head I had a list of what it should look
like I had a list every single day of
what I should accomplish and I remember
how about every single night going to
bed feeling like a failure
yeah every single night yeah I was not
able to check everything off the list
and I would think I yelled when I
shouldn’t have yelled I you know pinched
or pushed and said when I should’ve
probably just sat down and discipline
incorrectly I yeah you know I I I didn’t
get this clean I didn’t do this I didn’t
put all the laundry away and I would
just go to bed overwhelming every single
day and that get up every morning even
just more way down and I don’t
I don’t want that for you moms and
everything in life is a season it’s a
season and so you have to bring forth
strength and learning your lessons from
your seasons and so I’ve got the older
season I’ve got the grandmother season I
now I’m expecting my fourth grandchild
so I have two granddaughters and then
one grandson who’s turning seven and
then another grandson who will be born
in August so I don’t know when you’re
gonna be watching this but we have four
grandchildren so I’m in that other
season and so this is my season I want
to bring forth my strength into your
life from the season this is havelis
season she’s gonna bring forth her
strength in her life in this season and
we want to see you just really come into
the place so this is mommy marathon we
are wearing t-shirts we are not changing
our clothes you know this is real life
we’re not this is not glamour this is my
kitchen and we just want you to feel
like you are loved you are believed in
we have this list of questions that you
guys wrote and the truth is total we
kept seeing that a lot of them actually
knew their own answers yeah they just
really needed permission to believe in
themselves yeah no it’s true we do love
you where we are for you and we’re with
you and I think that’s you know one of
the greatest messages for us as women
and moms and grandmas is that we’re all
in trenches together fighting the good
fight of faith and what does that like
really look like so I’m with you you
know as you talk about the bar of like
what was enough in your life it makes me
want to get emotional because I think
every mom out there we experience the
sense of am i enough do I have what it
takes and I would love for someone to
probably take my kids away for a week or
two and I’ll get it together and that is
a common thing but I don’t think I don’t
think many of us and you know again your
questions kind of answered this for us
but you know there is this mom guilt
this mom thing of do I you know I I
didn’t expect that I had this dream of
kids and family and it’s gonna be
awesome and they’re gonna be cute and
this is how it’s gonna work out but I
didn’t expect my own internal battles to
be faced so I’m willing to deliver they
do delivery I’m Samir deliverance
ministry yeah so it makes me excited
that we’re gonna go we’re gonna be here
together we’re gonna talk about these
things and we’re gonna be
honest and I mean this is the hope that
I get cuz ubi says my friend but not
only that my hero in many ways of how
she’s done life and I I would love
nothing more than ask her these
questions so some of this is gonna be
just simply all of us learning I’m here
to learn and I’m honored that you would
tune in with us yeah and we believe that
this is a new beginning for you guys I
don’t know where you’re coming at but
but we are gonna pray that this is a new
beginning any guilt any shame any fear
you know we are not going to put more
pressure on you we are going to actually
connect you with the God that is the
perfect father and he is going to help
you with this and so we’re super excited
were honored that you’d let us into your
world we’re honored that you would let
us into our heart and we are so excited
about getting to these sessions of
motherhood marathon yeah so join us a
mom the mama
okay so we want to have an activity for
you you know how we unpack that list
that you go to bed with every night that
list that you never make complete like
maybe you completed it but you didn’t do
it perfect and that thing that you have
in your mind well here’s an activity I
want you to write that list down I want
you to write down those accusing items
that constant comparison whatever that
is I want you to make a list of the list
and then I want you to bring that list
into the presence of God and I want you
to ask your father what needs to be just
taken off the list how he looks at this
I want you to let him speak to these
areas in your life where you’re actually
probably doing way more good than you
are doing bad and here’s the truth we’ve
given you a lot of practical things in
this lesson and when you know to do
better you do better but you can’t beat
yourself up about when you didn’t know
to do better and you didn’t do better
this is a new day new start we’re gonna
write down the list and we’re gonna
throw it away you’re gonna bring it to
the Father and find out how you should
close your days and measure yourself as
a mom of men because we know that you’re
going from strength to strength so be
blessed