Your Rivals Are a Gift |Without Rival L4|

Brave women

don’t dare

to compare

comparing will undermine what God has

put before you

there is a hope

and there’s a glory of something more

[Music]

in this session of insights to a life

without rival we’re going to be talking

about living uniquely and a lot of

people don’t understand you can like

think you’re unique because you wear a

cool outfit but actually to be honest

with you the way you look is the least

expressive of actually who you are I

want to tell an incredibly embarrassing

story

um about me so a couple Winters ago and

it wasn’t this winter okay a couple

winners ago I like wandered out in my

flannel pajamas and my fluffy robe and

my fluffies little slippers and the sun

was just coming up and I went over to my

espresso machine and I made myself this

amazing drink that I wish I could make

for everybody it was I steamed steamed

chocolate almond milk and then I have

espresso and then cinnamon and cayenne

pepper and raw chocolate and whipped

cream and I just sat down on the sofa

and I was getting ready to do a devotion

when I made this stake of turning on my

cell phone and I happen to look at

Twitter and I noticed this like

reoccurring theme on Twitter people I

know were all like you know adding other

people that I don’t know and they’re all

like oh thank you so much for making me

part of your list thank you so much for

nominating me as one of the top 100

women ministers and I was like there’s a

there’s a list with the top 100 women

ministers well I had known that there

had been the top 10 the top 25 so I

thought top 100 I’m gonna probably make

it this time top 100 I am going to be on

the list and so I began to look and I

began to try to find the list and and I

see this list and I began to scan and

when you have the last name it starts

with the B you know pretty fast whether

you’re on the list or not and I was not

on the list and I was I was just like so

upset I was like oh my gosh I didn’t I

didn’t make the list and so I go running

like a fluffy tornado into John’s office

and John’s reading his Bible I’m like I

didn’t get on the last man I’m in my 50s

I’m never gonna make the list I’m never

going to be out so fast I still did he’s

like what are you talking about and I

was like

I said top 100 and I’ve never made it

and I’m gonna die soon and I’m I’m not

and he’s like and I said and John people

that translate my books into Spanish

made the list people that I’ve mentored

made the list it’s like they on purpose

said let’s not put Lisa on the list

people I know everybody I know is on the

list except for me and he was like Lisa

I just don’t feel like you’re in the

spirit right now

and I said John there’s something at the

end of this list

that says

if you feel like somebody should have

been on the list and wasn’t put on the

list you can add them John do you want

to add me to the list he’s like I am not

adding you to the list I was like why

why wouldn’t you add me to the list he’s

like I’m not doing that and he’s like I

feel like there’s some scriptures you

need to read right now and he started to

quote me some scriptures which I am

going to unpack later I was like no I am

not reading those scriptures I have the

scriptures memorized I am not doing it

so it was it was really cold outside but

I went outside anyway and I called my

friend I called Chris Kane and I said

Chris you cannot believe okay I know I’m

wrong but I’m really upset about this

list and she was like am I on this I

said of course you’re on the list

everybody’s on the list except for

except for me and she’s like why do you

care about this it’s easy for you to say

why do you care about this because

you’re on the list Christine if you were

on those you would care about this list

and she was like so we went through this

whole thing and I could tell Christine

was kind of like hey I’m on the

elliptical right now and I feel like you

need to be on your knees and I’m not I’m

not gonna you don’t call Chris if you

want sympathy and so

so I so I went back into my house and I

was like okay you

know I have more followers on Twitter

than this person that made the list

maybe I’ll just make a list maybe I’ll

make a list of the top 100 and leave her

on the list maybe that she would like

that and so I began to think about what

I put on this and and the Holy Spirit

was like okay no you are not making a

list then I started thinking yeah you

know what I’m not going to make a list

because lists are wrong lists are evil

let’s make some people feel less than

this was a bad thing but then he said to

me but would you think the list was

valid if you were on it

it’s like I probably would have I

probably would have thought the list was

a good thing I probably would have

retweeted it okay I’m putting myself in

time out so I went into my room I

kneeled down now this all lasted maybe

15 to 20 minutes and I went down I was

like okay God I’m sorry I’m being

ridiculous I I wish I didn’t care about

this but I do and I’m sorry and stupid

and please forgive me so you know I come

back out I apologize to my husband I

text Chris came I you know congratulate

the people that are on the list because

that’s just what you need to do and then

I you know went through my day and at

the end of the day I believe Gabby sent

something home for me she was like

you’ve got something kind of random or

one of my boys brought it home and

I was made

a plastic doll

so the day that I didn’t make the list

I was awarded this

plastic lucite trophy of me and when I

saw this first of all I’m never wearing

white jeans again on the platform

I saw this I was like that is ridiculous

and God was like now you’re a plastic

doll does that make you happy I was like

no so I took a picture of the doll and I

was like Christine you know what you may

have made the list but I am now plastic

doll me and Mother Teresa and a couple

other people were made into plastic

dolls and Christine was like I want one

I was like no you don’t it’s

way my husband I want to throw it away

he would not let me throw it away it’s

behind his computer so that anytime I

Dare to Compare or classify myself or

compete he brings out the plastic doll

and the truth is this is a very

embarrassing one-dimensional thing which

I’m now going to put away but the truth

is that there’s nothing

that any human can say over our life

that can affirm us the way God Alone can

affirm us and sometimes God will allow

us to be on the outside

feeling like we are looking in

so that we step back

and go inside

and look for him

because too many people are looking

for what other people can give them Tim

Keller said we want someone of ultimate

Glory loving us not just love in general

what we need is this ultimate Assurance

of Who We Are

ultimate Assurance of our worth we need

someone like that loving us not a list

not Facebook likes not fans Not retweets

not reposts

we need someone we think the world of

thinking the world of us

we need the praise

of the praiseworthy

which is God

but comparison definitely has a pull to

it or am I the only woman that’s ever

gone to the beach and looked at another

woman and asked her husband are my

thighs bigger or smaller than hers Okay

it definitely has a bull on it okay we

still do it in my 50s I’m so sorry but

but it will move you away

from your truest Center

it will move you away from your truest

self by either puffing you up

or putting you down

but it will not affirm you in your

strength and then you’ll be off balance

and off kilter and when you’re off

balance and off kilter you’ll begin to

say things and see things that you’ll be

embarrassed about later

second Corinthians 10 12 warns us

not that we dare this is Paul talking

about he and his laborers talking

collectively not that we dare to

classify or compare ourselves with some

of those who are commending themselves

but when they measure themselves by one

another and compare themselves with one

another they are without understanding

there are three C’s mentioned here

classify compare

and commend

learn from me don’t do it all three of

those classifying comparing and

self-accommodation

are

anti-productive they are destructive

they will work against everything that

you want so what happens when we

actually classify classifying is

actually defined as putting people in

their place

I don’t know if anybody’s ever done that

to you

but when they’ve put you in a place that

actually doesn’t matter what you say you

have to work really hard to climb back

out of that and once they’ve already

decided that they put you in that place

they’re not going to want to let you out

of that place because it’s easy to

classify people it’s easier to classify

than to deal with what really might be

they put them in their place by grading

by sorting by branding by ranking

or by my favorite

pigeonholding pigeonholing Marin Webster

describes as is what is used to describe

a neat category that usually fails to

reflect actual complexities

life is messy

and there is poop in pigeonholes if you

shove a pigeon in a hole it is going to

poop and it is going to shed those are

not clean places those are not places

that you want to be in and everybody’s

life is messier than you know

and everybody’s life is more complex

than you know and that’s why God tells

us don’t even try to judge it until the

day like you’re the you have no ability

to see what is in their pigeonhole

and you don’t want to be classified

because when you’re classified

you’re labeled

and when you’re labeled

you’re limited

labels will always be used to limit

people I remember a wise man told John

Meyer a really long time ago do not let

them label you because once they label

you then they can disqualify you

people can cut out what they think that

they have labeled

it is an act of depersonalizing people

and God does not do that he does not

label us

second C is comparison

there Roosevelt said that comparison is

the thief of joy

you think you’ve got a great husband

until you see like some movie husband

you’re like wow my husband never does

any of that for me well you thought he

was great at the beginning of the movie

but now at the end of the movie he’s

like cuddling you’re like pulling your

hand away like why aren’t you more like

that you know because I said what just

happened you compared and it stole your

joy it’s it’s a thief of joy and again

we’re only limited to what we know or

what other people want us to see you go

on Instagram you’re like oh my gosh my

house is a pigsty you know I mean you

see all these different pictures and you

begin to compare yourself

but it’s not a true reality

Brave women

don’t dare

to compare

comparing will undermine what God has

put before you

there’s a hope

and there’s a glory of something more

but this world will pull you down to its

comparison

and it will want you to climb to the

Pinnacle

of popularity

but Fame just depersonalizes people

until everybody thinks they are your

public property to insult slander or

worship

and because worship is reserved for God

alone if you fall at all they will pull

you down hard

what is this mountain that we Are

Climbing that is constructed of fans and

likes and posts and repeats it’s called

popularity

it is called friendship with the world

because the truth is being popular with

people

does not equate to being popular with

God

goes for a pure heart not for a

popularity contest so we don’t classify

we don’t compare

but we also don’t commend ourselves

yeah we can celebrate growth all right

that’s awesome yay I can look I mean I

can look back at my journals and say who

was this woman who was this woman yay

I’m so glad I’m growing but I know that

probably 10 years from now look back at

the journal I wrote now and say who is

that woman oh she’s going through

menopause but just just different things

we we can celebrate where we’ve been

to this extent of God’s faithfulness

what do we have

that he’s not given us

what do we have what gift what talent

what resource what what do we have that

he’s not given us when you self-commend

yourself you detract from his generosity

and you detract from what he wants to do

when we begin to measure ourselves by

unrighteous measurements then we lose

our way whenever I begin to look at

other things in the natural to measure

myself my connection with God’s slips

I’m not saying I lose my salvation but

my connection with the Divine and the

Eternal begins to slip and I lose my

perspective one of the scriptures my

husband gave me was John 5 44 and it

says how do you expect to get anywhere

with God

when you spend all your time jocking for

position with each other

ranking your Rivals and ignoring God

when we Define people by their temporal

we lose the ability to speak into their

Divine destiny

rivalry will rob you unless you learn

how to turn it around and use it for

your benefit I don’t know if you know

this right now maybe you’re like a

really greater Christian than me and you

don’t see anybody as a rival

but whether you see other people’s

arrival or not there are going to be

people that see you as a rival

there are going to be people that

actually God will put in your life

to provoke you

because a rival is given to us to either

best us or bring out the best in US

who made Moses famous

pharaoh

Pharaoh God said that he raised up

Pharaoh as a rival

to give Moses platform and to make his

name known throughout the Earth

what happened with David obscure little

Wilderness Shepherd boy

rival gave him position Goliath

but winning a battle

does not a king make

so God gave him another rival

Saul

and Saul was the one that refined

David’s character

see everybody wants the anointing of God

but they forget that God anoints Us in

the presence

of our enemies

God watches how you interact with rivals

and he says I can anoint that or I

cannot anoint that because if I anoint

that she’ll destroy that other person

he waits until that rivalry is settled

in your heart I’m going to tell you at

this point in my life I’ve actually

learned to thank God for my rivals have

a young girl you know there’s there’s

certain young girls I get to meet when I

say young girls she’s probably 40 but

they’re younger than me

um that I love and they’re they’re

building a beautiful amazing amazing

church and I you know I had got had the

privilege of coming and speaking to her

at their church and and then I called

her like a week and a half later just to

see how she was doing and she began to

tell me

about this person talking horrible about

her she said Lisa they they said this

about me and then they said this about

me and they said this about me at this

church and they said this about this

leader and and shut this door here and

it shut this door here and shut this

door here and I I was listening to her

and I just started getting excited I was

like oh my gosh God is setting you up

for something amazing if you under this

much attack God is getting ready to do

something incredible in your life and

she was like what I mean I actually

think she wanted me to call these people

and be like that’s not true that’s not

no no I know her no that’s not true and

I said no no no you just stand back

and you just be quiet because this

person every door they try to shut on

you God’s gonna throw open a door for

you somewhere else and you need to

understand that every door we shut on

other people we end up making our world

smaller

Rivals can be the best gift

I know that doesn’t make sense but the

truth is I’ve learned more about myself

from my enemies

than I have from my friends

my enemies have the ability to expose

more in me than friends ever will

friends want to give you shelter friends

want to call make phone calls friends

want to punch people for you

friends want to take you in

when there’s a storm in your life Rivals

want to lock you out and the great thing

is when you get locked up by a rival you

find out God meets you there

well David was running from crazy King

Saul

he met up with God in the wilderness in

such a way that God could develop

something in David to an overwhelming

level

something called Grit they did this big

test when I was writing this book I

researched it about called the grit

Factor they discovered that what

determines whether somebody succeeds or

not is not their education it’s not

their money it’s not who they know it’s

how gritty they can be they began to do

these studies when they had people

coming into West Point and the Air Force

and stuff like that and they’ve decided

that the grit Factor was the number one

predeterminate of whether they would

succeed in life or not not Talent not

connection not gifting grit and you

don’t get grit from friends you get grit

from rivals and so if we can be wise

women

we can flip this grit Factor thing and

begin to understand that God has a

purpose even for our Rivals and that’s

why we can bless those that curse us

that’s why we can do good to those who

despitefully use and abuse us because

they’re actually working a deeper

stronger thing in our lives than we

could ever work in ourselves the

playwright Edward Burks captured this

Dynamic this way he said he that

struggles with us

strengthens our nerves and sharpens our

skills

our antagonist is our helper

I don’t know where you are in life

I don’t know what’s coming against you I

don’t know who you see as a rival right

now and there are very real Rivals part

of that is because when we’re looking at

women it’s a very small playing field

it’s a very small playing field

don’t let your Rivals push you aside

don’t let them make you act like them

let your Rivals push you up

go deeper into the heart of God

develop a grit Factor

answer to him

say I will not back down I will not cave

I will stand strong I will learn the

lessons that I need to learn I will walk

worthy of the anointing so that when God

gives me position I won’t use it to

execute my judgment I will use it to

execute God’s justice in Jesus name

amen

you know we’ve been talking about the

three C’s the three C’s that you should

not dare to do you don’t dare to compare

yourself you don’t dare to classify

yourself and you do not dare to commend

yourself you do not want to be limited

by labels you do not want to live in a

time period where we need your

creativity comparing yourself with

things that already are when God has

something on your life that has never

been seen before but here’s the thing to

get rid of that comparison competition

jealousy thing in your heart we’re gonna

have you do something I want you to pick

out that person that you actually really

admire but you think I can never be here

so I’m gonna have to pull her down I

want you to pick out that person and

instead of comparing yourself

unfavorably with her I want you to

actually celebrate her I want you to

give her a phone call I want you to tell

her what you admire about her I want you

to be intentional with this because see

the truth is you commending and

celebrating her is not going to make you

less we often think that opening the

door for others is closing them on our

world but that is not true you’re going

to be generous with your words because

the world of the generous gets larger

and larger and God wants to enlarge your

world so you’re going to celebrate other

people and when you celebrate other

people God’s Gonna open up your life

when you tell other people what you

admire about them you’re going to build

relationships that are going to build

your lives