Failure Is Not Your Identity | Steven Furtick On Growing Through Failure

Steven Furtick: You can have weaknesses
and still be mightily used by God. Right.

Elijah: Not even in spite of
those weaknesses, but like

Steven Furtick: through them through them. Yeah,
it’s it’s in my weakness That I’m strong. There’s

a verse we misquote from Paul I might have
showed you this before but he says when I

am weak then do you not goes then
Elijah: you are strong Yeah, no

Steven Furtick: when I am
weak you then I am strong.

Hmm It’s always like when I’m weak God’s strong,
right, but he actually says when I’m weak and I’m

then I am strong what? Whoa. And I think what he’s
saying is, that’s the point where I know I need

to rely on God. And as long as I’m thinking I’ve
got this, I’m going in my own strength. But the

moment that I realize my weakness and confess
it, God’s like, now you’re working with me.

Wow.
Elijah: It’s not,

it’s not living in denial of that weakness.
It’s actually. That’s when you become strong,

is when you actually acknowledge it. Well, yeah,
Steven Furtick: because think about in a workout,

when is the moment in a set of, and
we, we work out together all the time,

this is our bond, so please forgive us. And you
Elijah: even talked about this in the book,

I don’t know if you remember, but.
Well, I

Steven Furtick: remember when you brought
Alex over and he was, he was lifting,

and he kept telling his spotter, help me
fail. Yeah. He’d get to a certain rep,

and, I thought that was a strange way to say
it, cause I’ve heard before, help me get one

more rep. Right. But what he was saying is, I can
only push so hard by myself, and if I don’t get to

the point of failure, then I’m not gonna grow.
And so, I think a lot of you probably quit too

quick right before you hit the growth moment. You
quit when something makes you feel uncomfortable,

you quit when you feel like you can’t do it, and
whatever that failure point is for you, with God,

He’s your spotter. Yeah. So God is going to get
you through that failure in a way that makes

you grow, as long as you don’t leave the gym.
And what do I mean by that? Because it’s just

a metaphor. I’m saying like, if there’s something
you’re struggling through right now, you’re trying

to quit porn, you’re trying to quit this, you’re
trying to quit that, or you’re trying to start

doing something. That you know is productive
for you. Don’t just let the failures happen.

And then the devil beats you up and you feel
like you are a failure. Remember failure is

never an identity. It’s an event. So you are not
a failure. Do not say I am a failure. I failed

and guess what? Through my failure when I am
weak. Then I’m strong. Cause the moment that

you’re growing the most lifting weights is
the moment when you’re going, the weakest.

And you look ridiculous. Oh, it’s the worst.
That’s your growth rep. That’s where you’re

growing. And it’s like that in life. And with
God, it’s the moments where we’re like, man,

I feel just absolutely out of my mind right
now, but I’m going to do what I’m supposed

to do anyway. I’m going to, I’m going to focus.
I’m going to show up at church. I’m going to show

up at my e group. I’m going to do this
Elijah: anyway. And that’s where you

let God kind of, kind of push you
there. Yeah. Thanks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

JT: That’s great. And I’ll, I’ll, that’s so
helpful for me too, because I feel like one

of the, I’m going to choose my words carefully
because I’m trying to apply the book to my life,

but I feel like one of the, the default me
would say that I’m bad at self reflection

and I want to just keep pushing past it.
Because I don’t want to deal with it,

and I don’t want to sulk and sit. And one
of the things that I can get stuck with is

just thinking that that’s just who I am. And so I
feel like as you’re, you know, articulating this,

I’m seeing probably so many lessons that I could
have learned with God if I would have just sat

there with him and not denied the failure.
But actually brought him into it. Well,

Steven Furtick: try this. Have you ever done
like a walking meeting? No. For work? Oh,

like, yeah. Yeah, like, hey, we need to meet,
but I want to get some exercise. Right, yeah.

So do both. Keep it moving. Don’t sit
and sulk and sit there and go, Oh, God,

show me my sin. My sin is great, God. Oh, God.
Yeah. But like, just kind of take that thing on

your mind and say, Okay, God, I’m not going
to fixate on this because it’s going to make

me feel worse. I’m not going to sit down for an
hour, light a candle, burn some incense. Yeah.

I’m just going to like, as I go through my day,
God, I want to kind of think about that with you.

And that phrase right there, think about it with
God, God, help me think about this and watch what

he puts in your life that day to speak to you
as you’re moving through it. See what I mean?

It’s not just sitting down at a kitchen table
or kneeling down at a prayer bench. It’s going,

God, that way that that sitting with me,
it’s just not going away is sitting here.

So would you show me how to interpret
this and then do both? Because I would,

I would add JT that sometimes sitting with
it and living in it isn’t reflection. It’s

rumination. Rumination is when you turn something
over and over in your mind. And that can actually

be where the enemy can show up and cause you to
go blind to all the good stuff that’s around you.

Because. It would be basically like, if we were
playing, what, what sports did you play growing

up? Soccer, baseball. Yeah, I mean, it’d
be like, it would, it would be like you’re,

uh, you are still looking, uh, at the pitch
that you just swung at and missed. You know,

still looking at the pitch that you just swung
at and missed till, and then you struck out.

So I don’t think it’s a bad
thing that you’re feeling is,

okay, next pitch. Yeah, in a way that’s
Elijah: a strength. It’s a strength. But like you

were saying before, sometimes that strength can.
Steven Furtick: Can get flipped, can become a

weakness or a strength can become a weakness if
it’s not guarded, a weakness can become a strength

if it’s submitted to God.
Jeez. Wow. That is

Elijah: deep.
Steven Furtick: That is deep. And

do that in your life everywhere. What we just did,
that was like a therapeutic exercise. You’re like,

honestly, I feel like my tendency is like,
just go get around people. I’m social. Cause

I know enough about how you are. I don’t know
you that well, but I know. You probably don’t

want to be alone with yourself that much.
And you’re like, that’s a weakness. I’m like,

are you crazy? That’s one of the greatest
strengths people would kill to have the

people skills that you have. Right? So we’re not
trying to eliminate that from your life, right?

We are just trying to join that. With the part of
your life that can sometimes tend to use that as a

substitute for actually working through an issue.
Right. And the more we start seeing ourselves that

way, how God sees us, it’s like, Oh, old you, new
you, it’s not like all of that is bad and I need

to just hate who I’ve always been and change it.
Future youth treadmill treadmill treadmill. Yeah,

it’s just integrating it and saying
like god. Why did you make me like this?

How can I bring more of this in here? Right?
And then you get to partner with god in finding

out who you really are So
Elijah: it’s almost yeah,

it’s exciting. It’s like you get to do this
Steven Furtick: new thing. It’s like an experiment

it’s like the other night she was cooking some um
Soup and it was just me and her eating and I was

like don’t you love just cooking for two people?
And she’s like well, yeah, I mean, I wish kids

were here But, um, and I, I know this is making
you kind of lust right now after the food that

you’re not getting while you’re at college. Yeah.
I know you’ve been on steady ramen. Yeah. But, uh,

so she’s, she’s like, uh, the dinner will be ready
in such and such time and it took a lot longer.

And when I came out, she was like, I know it took
a little longer, but man, I had fun playing around

with the soup. I put a little of this, uh, just.
You know, they didn’t have this. I had that. And

then I, last time I did this and I did that. And
I’m thinking like, you are kind of like that suit.

And it should be a feeling sometimes, not just
of like, I gotta get better cause I suck and God

hates me and I’m gonna burn in hell if I don’t
fix this and he’s never gonna be able to use me.

It’s like, well, okay. Or, just like, this is
an experiment. Right. I like to think of like,

myself as I’m a beta version, not beta
like alpha, beta, not that the pre the,

the version that’s like, I know I still got
bugs, but there’s going to be updates. Yeah.

And so for everybody who doesn’t see the potential
in you because of your bugs, there’s going to be

Elijah: updates.
Jeez.

JT: That’s crazy. Touch
Steven Furtick: three people

say there’s going to be an update. Yeah. Put it
in the comments. There’s going to be an update.

And the thing that we’re updating. Right. Is our
mindset. That’s how we update it. We set our mind

on things above. Update. Set your mind on things
above. Update. That’s, that’s what I want to get

you in the flow of at a young age in your life.
And I know not just youth watch this podcast. I

know y’all reach people of all ages. This could
be as true if you’re 60 as if you’re 16. Right.

There’s still updates. Abraham became the father
of many Nations when he was 99. Crazy. So there’s,

there’s still updates available
for your life. It’s not over,

Elijah: right?
It never, it’s never,

it’s never too late for an update. , come
on, is that point or cool , there’s a

fine
Steven Furtick: line. Right? Right. , it’s

never too, it’s all about context. If you were
like, if you were like, it’s never too late for

nothing, it could definitely Right. But what I
would do if I was preaching it, I’d be like, you

know, um, there are a lot of people in your life.
Um So, so you could say like, God will use your

haters to be your updaters. God will
use Judas to get Jesus to the cross,

because if Jesus stays on the earth, he’s limited
to his physical body. But if he dies on the cross,

and he goes down into the grave, and he rises
from the grave and ascends to heaven, he sends

his spirit, and his spirit can live in all of us
at the same time, and greater works shall you do.

So he used Judas to bring Jesus into the earth
in the form of the spirit, through his hater,

through his hater. Your haters are your
updaters and some of you would think yeah,

that would have been great If I could have heard
this when I was a kid, but i’m not a kid anymore

And I wish I could have but you need to talk to
abraham because Jesus spoke about a man named

Abraham and Jesus said before Abraham was,
I am, and that’s when they wanted to crucify

him and Abraham said, God, will you give me an
heir seeing that I am childless and Eliezer is

my servant and he will inherit everything.
And God said, you shall have a child and it

shall be your seed. And when he was holding
Isaac, he realized it’s never. Too late and

then hopefully everybody would say
JT: Says update Dude we just

got a master class Geez
Steven Furtick: you just took

the book Some real random thing The thing about
is it corny or is it cool I noticed that shows

up in creativity We were writing a song this week
and we were being real serious So this is serious

And then there was a moment where like Bathroom
break or whatever And I did something just that

I thought was and I’m going to show it to you
because I’d like you to Put some production on it.

Oh shoot, and I’m gonna show it to you And
but it was it was something that I was like,

is that corny? Or is that awesome? Yeah. Yeah. And
that kind of goes to the thing like, we are so,

can I speak to this? Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. We are
so consumed with cool. We are so consumed with

acceptance. We are so consumed with being guarded
that some of our best stuff never gets shared.

Whether that’s how we show up in our
friendships or who we really are deep

down. Mm-Hmm. . And we cover all that up for
the sake of Cool. And. The friends that we

win by pretending to be something that we’re not
aren’t friends with us because we’re pretending,

right? They’re friends with some
Elijah: pretend version.

Steven Furtick: They’re friends
with the pretend version. So

Elijah: what did you gain? You gain
Steven Furtick: nothing. You gain nothing.

Elijah: And it’s not their fault either.
Because that’s what you’re presented. Yeah,

okay in chapter two you talked about how we
had the choice to either Um, argue for our

limitations or agree with God about our potential.
That’s my favorite. It was banger. Banger line.

What advice do you have to the kid out there
who maybe can’t figure out what they want to

do in life, where their potential is, how would
you speak to that? Because I feel like that’s a

very pressing issue with like this age range.
Steven Furtick: You are accurate if you say

that we have no idea what our potential
is that will always be true But think

about the first part I think you you hit my
favorite line in the book and I don’t know

who said it first I heard Les Brown say it.
Okay. Okay, you have something special. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Somebody tell Les Brown to hit
me I love Les Brown somebody somebody tell

Les Brown He gave me that line, but I
don’t know if he made it up But he said,

if you agree with your, if you argue for your
limitations, Let me start it all over. If you

argue for your limitations, you get to keep them.
Do not say I am only. Then I added a back half to

it. If you argue for your limitations, you
get to keep them. But if you agree with God

about your potential, you get to grow into it.
So I’m going to say the whole thing again. If

you argue for your limitations, you get
to keep them. Put this in the comments.

If you argue for your limitations, you get
to keep them. That means if you go young,

bad with people, then you get to keep being
bad with people. That means if you say I’m

not disciplined, then you get to keep not
being disciplined. And then you get to flunk

out of school. And then you get to be homeless.
I’m just taking it as dark as I can. I’m like,

I hope this isn’t my path. Yeah, you’re not,
you’re not undisciplined. But if you say that,

if you say, I’m not disciplined, I’m not
good at focusing, I’m not good at music,

I am not good at this, I am not, my thing was that
I shared in the book, I’m not a workout person.

Elijah: We literally have that in the question.
Steven Furtick: I’m not a workout person. And

that’s what I told Buck when I started. Having
him work with me and show me stuff. I’m like,

I’m not a workout person. I don’t do legs.
I don’t do chin ups I don’t do cardio right

like so you just bench. Yeah, just you can’t
Elijah: make this up That was literally the

next question really about I love the story
from chapter 4 where you said you weren’t a

lifting person We’re in the flow.
We’re in the flow We’re in the

Steven Furtick: flow because look if
I if I say that and I argue for it,

it will become self fulfilling I’m not a
workout person. I don’t work out. I’m not

a workout person, right? But if I agree with
God I’m using working out as an illustration

About my potential, I get to grow into it.
The first part of that is just to agree with

God that I don’t know everything that’s in
me. And most of us won’t even do that. We

have such a made up mind about who we are, who
we’re not, who we could never be. Right? For

sure. We all do. We all do. I told your mom I’m
not writing any more books. Right. Here we are.

I am telling you on the podcast about my new book.
About when I said, I am done writing books. And as

long as I argued for my limitation, You could have
Elijah: easily never dropped another book again.

Steven Furtick: Easily. It was in me
and I believe, I believe somebody’s

going to watch this today and they don’t
even have to buy the book, but you should.

And they’re going to get so much out
of this, it’s going to propel them,

but it almost didn’t happen. My first step though
wasn’t to know what my potential is. This is what,

this is what I think you’re asking. I don’t
have to know what it is to agree with God that

there’s more there. You get to grow into it.
Elijah: I get to grow into it. Wow. And it’s

just taking that first step
of basically, like, saying it,

Steven Furtick: just It’s always
taking the next step. There’s, there’s,

there’s nothing but the next step. There’s
never anything God calls me to take that is

not just the next step. He doesn’t promise
that He will give us The headlights to see.

Yes. A hundred yards away. Lamp into my feet. He
promises to give us a lamp unto our feet. Yep. And

how much light does a lamp give? Enough for the
next step. Next step. So just put in the comments.

Next step. Next step. Thinking that way is way
better than. I see a lot of kids getting this,

I don’t know what I’m about to do in my
life, what am I about to do in my life,

you’re 14, play a video
Elijah: game, play a video

Steven Furtick: game, read a bible verse, play
a video game, and uh, you know what I’m saying,

like we can get so overwhelmed by the destination
that we don’t really commit ourselves and devote

ourselves To what God has revealed, because
we’re so consumed by what he hasn’t revealed.

Right. And I just think you need to take that
quote and think about it a little bit because

it is so powerful. If I agree with God,
okay, yes, God, I’m limited. Yes, God, I’m,

I’m maybe nothing special in other people’s eyes.
And I may not play professional sports and I may

not do all these things, but I agree with you that
you’ve put more in me than my mind can comprehend.

And I agree with you, God, that you’re going
to show me what you put me here for. As I

take the next step, you get to grow into it, and
that’s really the privilege of walking with God,

is that he shows you step by step, you’re like,
Elijah: wow. It’s almost like the other side of

that coin of the fear that comes with that is the
excitement of, like, you could either sit there

and be scared of, oh my gosh, there’s so much,
I don’t know what I want to do with my life,

or like, oh my gosh, like, there’s so much
potential for me to, to grow into this.

I don’t even know what I want to do
with my life, like, there’s nothing but.

Potential that kind of unlocked that. Yeah.
Steven Furtick: Yeah. So in other words,

you’re flipping the unknown from being
something so scary and something that can

almost be paralyzing to something that’s just
endless possibility. And I taught you this,

I don’t know if you remember, psychologists teach
us that there’s really not that much difference.

What our body experiences when we’re. Nervous or
anxious and when we’re excited and sometimes I’m

worried about the way we throw around the word
anxiety, not for people who actually. Um, need

medical treatment and psychological help, please
get that help. But when you just say, man, I’m

so anxious about the podcast today, it’s great.
I’m nervous about it because I’m excited about

it. That’s not anxious. Yeah. That’s
I care. Right. And I’m going to invest

my energy into my preparation. Right. Rather
than allowing it to consume me. And just sit

Elijah: there and soak in that,
Steven Furtick: yeah. Sitting there and

letting it Letting it sour the experience and so
that’s true with anxiety and excitement and it’s

true with I want to act it out for you Watch this.
Watch this. I just don’t know what God has for me

in the future Yeah, that’s the old you new you I
just don’t know what God has for me in my future

Jeez, and that is The new you yeah, and so we took
the same Uncertainty right you said it’s already

in you. It’s already in you And we acknowledge
that, I don’t know, and if God is the author of

my life, He’s a pretty good storyteller.
You ever sit down and watch a movie,

and you’re like, I’m not sure where this is
going, but you like the person who made the movie,

who wrote it or directed it, and you’re like, I
always like their movies. And if you’ve seen God

see you through some things in your life, and you
believe in Him and that you’re in His hands, you

can get through parts of the story and the plot
where you’re like, this is confusing right now.

He always makes it pay off in the last scene.
Yeah. And I think that’s what Joseph was in

the scriptures, where he said, You meant
it for evil, but God meant it for good.

I think Joseph was basically saying,
like, The story was really confusing,

and it sucked, and it had some really hard years,
and there were many scenes I would have skipped.

And you might be in one of those scenes right
now, where you’re like, You don’t understand my,

my, my dad walked out on our family. You
don’t understand, like, I’m actually in,

in a part of my life that is very abusive and
confusing. And that’s not only heartbreaking

to me, that’s heartbreaking to God. He’s still
the author, and this is a chapter of your life.

And now it’s time for us to see how he’s going
to work this chapter into the story that he’s

telling, because he’s not finished telling your
story yet. And I want to encourage you with that,

that the story isn’t over. And learn to view
that as a positive, because it’s like Well,

that’s kind of cool that you don’t
know what God’s going to do with you.

That means it could be anything.
Elijah: Right. And you know what

I’d love that you’ve preached on before that
I feel like ties into that is the idea of when

you did the illustration with the piano and
how, like what note comes after changes the

story. It’s like almost as God’s writing
your story, you get to choose like, okay,

let’s say like what you were saying.
Like you’re having like terrible stuff

going on with your family. Like you
get to choose whether that in the plot,

whether that breaks you or whether it. Makes
you stronger. You know what I’m saying? Like,

it’s almost, you, you get to walk in, it’s as the
story’s being written. And it’s all based off of

what, what comes next and that next move.
Steven Furtick: I think it was Miles Davis,

but I don’t remember which jazz musician,
because I’m not a jazz guy, that said, Uh,

there’s no wrong note. It’s the note that comes
after. Right. Can somebody grab me that guitar,

please, real quick? Yeah, illustrating, because,
thanks Josiah, I think it’s worth illustrating,

because it works better on a piano, But
I think this will be cool for everyone

to see where basically he’s saying, thank
you that there’s no, I hope it’s in tune.

There’s no,
Elijah: if it’s not, he’s, he’s tuning it.

Steven Furtick: There’s no way to tell if that’s
a good note or a bad note. And I want you to

compare a note to an event in your life.
It is just a note. If this comes after

it is dissonant
you know, it’s the note

I’m putting after. So you say, oh, that’s
a bad note. Well, not necessarily if I say

ugh,
ugh, still, but.

Elijah: Oh, shoot.
Steven Furtick: Same starting note.

What makes it good or bad is what comes after
the next note. So something really horrible just

happened, or you made a really bad mistake. And
you’re like, man, I’m stuck on this note. It would

be a real mistake for you to just go deeper down
into the spiral. Just make it even worse. Like now

you just running through all kinds of girls.
You’re running through all kinds of boys and

just trying to fill this hole. No, no, no,
no, no. The note right now, it might not be

a note that you understand out of context, but
it’s amazing grace. I’m trying to play. Oh yeah.

And it, it became grace because of what came
after it became amazing because of what came

after and let’s learn to do that more in our life.
Let’s go. Okay, I absolutely wrecked that moment,

but the next moment, the next, the next,
the next step. I’m learning from that.

I’m moving forward. And that’s how you get out
of the trap of like all this condemnation. You

can take this before I start playing James
Taylor. It’s just this idea of saying like,

no, no, no, no, no, no, no. This is not the last
note. This is not the last chapter. This is not

the final word. This is not the last relationship.
This is not the last friend. This is not the last

opportunity. This is not my final note. Just put
that in the comments real quick. This is not my

last note. Mm-Hmm. . There. There will be more
grace after this. And that’s what I love about

the new you. The new you is the next note.
Yeah. And the next note. And the next note.

And who’s deciding what that note will be? Is
it always God? Right. Or does he sometimes put

it in our hands to say, Yeah. Do you want to
forgive this or do you want to stay bitter? Do

you want to learn from this? Go back and
apologize? And then get better from it?

Or do you want it to keep you stuck here?
And that’s a decision that we make. Until

you realize you have that power, You’re thinking
like, oh well my life is bad and theirs is good.

He said there’s no bad note or good note. It’s
the note that comes after that makes it a good

note or a bad note. And I think that’s true
of a lot of things that happen in our lives.