While we’re experiencing social distancing, relationships are more important than ever. That’s why we’re taking this time together to ensure our relationships have a strong, healthy foundation. In this mashup teaching, we’re gonna get back to the basics. Michael Todd shares how important Bible principles are to having lasting relationships. And then tagging in, Steven Furtick offers great insight on the importance of what we should focus on in relationships.

what are you doing

man i’m out here just trying to recover

from all that has happened with this

book relationship goes you got a number

one book man god is so good we gotta um

we gotta celebrate okay let’s do it how

are we gonna do this give the people



hold on me and you tag team preaching

about relationship goals they’re not

ready for this pastor stephen because if

this actually happens people are going

to start winning in relationships warn

them again one more time hey listen

if you about to click on this and keep

watching this

this is going to change every

relationship that you have right now

i’m too hyped i’m about to go crazy at

this current moment you preach i preach

everybody buys the book relationship


in this corner

weighing in 185 pounds of anointing he

hails from tulsa oklahoma

oh you’re the best-selling author of

relationship goals

pastor mike todd

tag i’m in except i don’t weigh 185

pounds thank you for the anointing


let’s go

and i think that if we could ever start

living by the principles of god we would

avoid a lot of the problems of life

i’ma say it again if we could ever start

living by the principles of god we would

avoid a lot of problems in life write

down my first point right now

the more principles you learn from the

word of god the less you pray about what

to do

i’ma say it again because some of y’all


what did he just say he said you don’t

have to pray that much listen to what i

just said the more principles you learn

from the word of god the less you have

to pray about what to do if you have a

car made by a manufacturer whatever your

car is a kia a honda a ford whatever

your car is

the car comes with the manual

most of us have never read the manual

can we be honest if you have read the

manual to your car lift your hands right

now and i see if you lie put your hands

down tremaine you know you didn’t read

the manual okay most of us never read

the manual


if something goes wrong with our vehicle

most of us panic

most of us if we start the car we start

hearing a noise and then it slows down

and the acceleration goes down we pull

over to the side we start panicking oh

no what’s gonna happen and usually we

call a mechanic

because the panic leads to problems

and so when we start panicking we then

find problems and then we find a

mechanic when the mechanic gets there he

comes in he doesn’t seem tense worried

frustrated nothing he comes in he tries

to start the car he listens to what’s

happening he then goes up and he opens

up the hood he goes past all of the

other things and goes straight to the

problem and he’s able to fix exactly

what’s wrong with the situation because

he knows the principles of a car

okay y’all are going to get this in a

second you pay him 350 dollars why

because you did not know how to fix it

yourself you could have saved time and

money and not had to pay for it if you

knew the principles i’m talking about

your relationships and you don’t even

know it

you are paying

so much in time and energy and hurt and

frustration and you’re losing purpose

and losing your life because you’re

paying for something that you do not

know the principles of

oh i’ve already preached it

and and many of you are depleted and i

dare say overdrawn in your account

because you’re paying

for not knowing the principles

when i think about this

you need to understand this

principles simplify life

when you understand the principle of a

thing life becomes simple i want you to

write that down principles simplify life

prove it to you the car that most of us

drive works on the principle of

gasoline you know how to put gas in your

car you know that principle so when your

car goes on e

don’t nobody be praying about that

because they know the principle

they don’t say oh god i’m on e father i

just thank you right now that you would

send a ram in the bush god i thank you

father that you would make a way for the

petrol to get into my tank god i need to

call a phone a friend holy spirit who

should i call diane diane i need you to

touch and agree with me because right

now i’m out of gas and i know that god

can be a way where there is no way lord

would you please bring a quick you don’t

do that

because you understand the principle of

gasoline so you don’t have to pray about

what you understand the principle of

you don’t have to pray about what you

understand the principle of and so what

ends up happening is if you run out of

gas you’ll find the nearest gas station

you will put the gas in the car and you

will pump it because you understand how

the principle of a car is supposed to


that’s the way it’s supposed to be for

all your relationships

you’re supposed to understand the

principles of relationships so you don’t

have to pray about what you already know

the principle of

see how quiet it is

because the truth is most of us have

never read the manual

about relationships

most of us have never been taught the

principles our parents didn’t know how

to do it so they didn’t teach us about

it pop culture acts like they know how

to do it so they’re the only ones

stepping up and saying this is how it’s

supposed to be this is how it’s supposed

to be but they didn’t make it so it’s a

it’s one of those things where they’re

telling you how it’s supposed to work

but they have no guarantees in their

life you ever got a product that wasn’t

made by the manufacturer so you get no

guarantees with it and that’s what’s

happening a lot of our relationships are

broken because we’re getting taught and

they’re given to us by somebody who

didn’t make them

and when you didn’t make a thing you

can’t guarantee it i feel that

so what i’m trying to tell you right now

whatever happens in your relationship

you are supposed to know exactly what to


know what’s wrong with it and how to fix


but the reason we can’t is because we

haven’t read the manual

the reason i’m trying to to to dig down

on this and y’all i feel like a teacher

today i i really want to take you

through the word and build the value to

why god is supposed to be the ones to

define our relationship why our

relationship with him is our ultimate

relationship goal because out of that

relationship all of our other

relationships will be successful out of

the relationship i have vertically with

him everything i do down here will be

able to win but what we’ve been trying

to do is do a relationship down here and

ask him to bless it

when he wasn’t the first relationship go

for us

i think that many relationships fail not

because of a loss of love

but because of a loss of focus

that would be one of the reasons that a

church fails as well while we’re at it

is that you lose your focus when

you stop caring about what god

cares about

god will no longer back you

in your endeavor

and so

sometimes what we call

failure is really just

broken focus

it’s the reason why the passion that

exists in some parts of relationships

when it’s getting started

tends to leak and you wonder where it

went it wasn’t necessarily that you lost

the love you lost the focus

it’s very difficult to keep that first

love focus in any relationship i think

jesus is calling us back to focus if

you’ll notice the bread on the sandwich

from the little uh passage that we just


both of them start with seeking seek

first his kingdom ask and it will be

given to you seek and you will find on

both ends of this passage where jesus is

speaking on several different subjects

is this idea of


especially in our culture i think the

focus when it comes to our relationship

tends to be a little broken

when i say that it’s broken i mean that

it’s misplaced and misleading

sometimes we’re so focused on

falling in love

that we are very uneducated about the

process of staying in love

talk to me anytime you want to

and there’s a

there’s a a romantic notion

that is

reinforced with every romantic comedy

that the falling part is where the

excitement is i was looking at an

article getting ready for this series


the author said there’s a reason that

fairy tales end in marriage

because nobody wants to see what happens


nobody wants to talk about the other

half now watch this the first area you

got to decide you got to decide your

focus because you can always decide your

focus you can’t always decide about all

the factors you can’t always decide if

somebody’s going to stay with you or

leave you you can’t always decide if

someone’s going to ask you out you can’t

always decide if they’re going to text

you back but you can always decide your

focus so is your focus number one



or becoming


or becoming

jesus said seek first the kingdom and

the other stuff will move into position

but if you seek first the other stuff

then you will have no center of gravity

for the stuff to revolve around so it’s

important that your focus is not i’ve

been teaching this for years man i used

to go around to youth camps and i would

teach dating seminar and i would say you

know it’s not an original quote from me

but i’ll say it all the time because i

think it’s true happiness isn’t finding

the right person

happiness is being the right person

i’ll take it further since your applause

is so tepid

if you find the right person and you are

not the right person

what do you think you’re going to do to

that poor right person

no i’m not suggesting please i’m not

suggesting that if you’re not married or

something like that is because you’re

not ready yet because that all we have

to do to disprove that stupid theory is

to look at some of the people who are



so mary doesn’t equal ready okay

i could offer you many examples of that

starting with myself

but what i am saying is that

it is important to god it’s just

important to god that you have the right

people in your life but the only way

you’re going to have the right people in

your life is if you will be the right

person in your heart

that’s the only way you’re that’s that’s

the only way you’re even going to

attract them to begin with and that’s

the only thing you can control

i can’t always control whether this

person comes into my life but i can

control the kind of person that i am you

know how you have

little memories from your childhood that

are so random that you wonder how

they’re still up there from all these

years and you kind of wish you could

delete them because honestly you need

that space for more important things

like your children’s names and stuff

that you forget sometimes but i have

memory i don’t know why i remember in

sixth grade they gave us the berkeley

county writing test

i remember the prompt of the berkeley

county writing test when i was in the

sixth grade almost word for word pretend

that you are on an adventure or uh they

called it a journey with your friends


on this adventure or journey you fight

you come across a valuable unusual

object just describe the object

a couple weeks later

the teacher walked in with all of our

writing tests and made an announcement

she said i’ve never had this happen

before in however many years of teaching

but every single one of you failed the

berkeley county writing test we laughed

she said it’s not a joke

she said you wrote beautiful essays

you went into great detail elaborating

on the journey with your friends but

that was not the writing prompt

the writing prompt was not to describe

the journey

the writing prompt was to describe the


all of you wrote essays about walking

through the woods with your friends some

of you traveled across the seas with

your friends some of you flew through

space with your friends it was highly


but none of you described

the object

the object

of relationship

the object

of love

is not that somebody else would complete


i’m sorry renee zellweger but you got it

wrong your line was touching it just

wasn’t true

jerry didn’t complete you

touch your neighbor say you can’t

complete me

see we teach this stuff no wonder single

people right there have their fists up

ready to fight me when i want to preach

about marriage because the way we preach

and teach it we teach it like until you

get married your life hasn’t started i

only got one question to ask you if

that’s true how can you worship jesus

we worship a guy who stayed single till

they killed him

oh no i’m not saying you have to stay

single be like jesus i’m a hypocrite to

say that but i’m saying i’m saying if

paul would have waited to fulfill his

purpose until he had somebody to

complete him we wouldn’t have 23 percent

of the new testament

and we teach it wrong we teach it wrong

we i’ve taught it wrong we we teach it

wrong in in the book of genesis uh god’s

describing marriage you talk about adam

and eve and he says that you know the

man shall leave his father and mother

and go be with his wife and it says that

the two will become one

let me tell you what it doesn’t say it

doesn’t say the haves will become whole

but yet we teach it and we treat it and

we expect it

like the haves are going to become whole

but i found out if you go into a

marriage half the two halves are going

to make hell

not whole


it’s great preaching pastor stephen

that’s very true pastor

so what is your focus

is it

what you can control which is what god

is doing in your life or is it finding

you know

you’ve got to find a woman then you got

to find a ring then you got to find some


and you got to find a date to get

married and a place to get married that

everybody can come to that on the same

day working out continents different

continents people coming together from

all these different places in the world

and gotta find the dresses for the

bridesmaids something that they’ll all

wear and won’t complain about doesn’t

look good against their skin tone and

you gotta find a house and find a job


finding finding finding finding finding

finding finding finding do you see the

pattern here

but god said

well all of that has its place

if you will focus on becoming remember

he said the two will become


that’s the focus

what are you