You have enough within you to face the battle ahead of you.

who drew your blueprint what I think we
see with Elijah in 1 Kings chapter

19 is someone who expected the rain and
not the resistance who expected that

when the drought was over that the
battle would be over as well but then he

found out something that you have to
learn in life is that more blessings

create more battles more blessings
create more battles do you remember when

the church was praying this for the
churchy people God enlarge my territory

yeah that’s more grass to cut and
property taxes to pay it all gets bigger

all of it and so for me I was like what
did you expect

like that’s what happened to John the
Baptist now Jesus was sending a message

to John the Baptist and he was comparing
John the Baptist to Elijah the prophet

one thing they both had in common is
that they had a blueprint of what the

kingdom of God would look like that did
not match the reality of what it looked

like once God started establishing it in
his way so John the Baptist has preached

his way into prison Jesus is moving
forward in the purpose of God John sends

a messenger to ask him are you the one
or should we expect another is this how

it’s going to be is this really what
serving God feels like is this what it

really means to be a Christian is this
how it’s gonna be for the rest of my

life am I gonna have to struggle like
this forever am I gonna have to hurt

like this forever is it really gonna be
this hard look what Jesus said go tell

John
this is Matthew 11 go tell John Matthew

11 the blind see the lame walk lepers
are cleansed the deaf hear the dead are

raised the wretched of the earth will
learn that God is on their side

that’s good right it depends on your
perspective John wasn’t expecting all of

that when he preached he preached the
kingdom of heaven is at hand repent I

woke you up didn’t I you weren’t
expecting that explosive on the mic and

watch what Jesus said because John was
expecting judgment and Jesus came and

brought mercy his blueprint of the
kingdom of God is now he’s separating

the chaff from the wheat that’s on the
winnowing floor and he’s about to burn y’all

up and Jesus said be healed what were
you expecting that’s what Jesus asked

what were you expecting is this what you
were expecting

then count yourself most blessed
disappointments and expectations are

correlated in such a way that if you
expect the wrong thing a lot of the

times that we’re disappointed it’s
because we went in delusional and how

could we not how could we not when we
watch movies all the time that end at

the wedding that end with the kiss and
show us nothing of the conflict how can

a teenager grow up with a healthy view
of sexuality when the blueprint of

sexuality is we tear each others clothes
off the first night and that’s passion

when that’s not passion what that’s
called is hormonal realities that need

to be brought in subjection or you
will find yourself I don’t feel like

preaching on Mother’s Day God they’re
just gonna look at me but I was

talking about disappointment and
for Elijah now there is the

reconciliation between how he thought it
would be and how it was you got to

imagine that for three years while he’s
running in the drought and waiting for

God to give him the word to release the
rain that he’s imagining that when the

rain finally comes the nation will turn
back to God when the rain finally comes

then they will repent when it is
finally proven to be true that you are

God then the nation’s hearts will be
turned back to you remember Elijah’s

goal was never really rain it was
repentance and when the rain came and

the first drop fell with it felt the
hope that maybe now the nation will turn

back to God so when Jezebel who was
running the nation when Jezebel who had

promoted the worship of false gods sent
word to Elijah I’m gonna kill you

I believe his greatest fear was not that
he would die but that nothing would

change

that’s when it gets hard it’s not hard
to sacrifice when you see the

significance of it what’s difficult is
when you gave it all you had and nobody

said thank you
that’s the disappointment it’s when you

raised your children right I did not
raise them to act this way how am i down

here at this school again who taught
them this it wasn’t me

see it’s not the dysfunction because if
I hadn’t raised them right I wouldn’t be

disappointed it’s the fact that I did
everything I could to show them how to

act and here we are Elijah said
it’s enough I’m done I’m out

I can’t you can have it you can have it I
don’t want this responsibility anymore

oh the responsibility that used to feel
like a privilege that’s my second word

responsibility he said I don’t want this
anymore I don’t want this anymore I’m

tired of being unique I’m tired of being
different I’m tired of fighting against

the culture and trying to raise my kids
in a godly way when all it does is make

them hate me I’m sick of this oh I’m
gonna preach to the three real people

not the little angelic Christians who
came in here like seraphim floating

above the trouble I’m talking about the
people that know that the blessing of

God gets heavy sometimes

hey hey hey the parents that never
complain about being parents aren’t

doing it right

they gave up it’s only the one who gave
it all that they had that can really

know how much it costs so I’m just gonna
break this down cuz I’ve never been a

mother so I can’t talk about it like I
want to talk about it but I have been a

preacher and it is a privilege to preach
God’s word don’t clap for that you don’t

need to it’s a privilege it’s a pr- oh
it’s a privilege it’s a great privilege

and I’m sure Elijah felt that way too
you know I can’t find in the whole

scripture of Elijah cuz I’ve been
studying him now for years probably the

Bible character I’ve preached the most
sermons on I can’t find one time that

God gets mad at him and here he is
writing a suicide note when he should be

celebrating and what does God do cuz you
have this idea that if you really told

God and got honest with God about how
things were that he would strike you

down according to this story when
prophets run from God and have the

honesty to open up and say here’s where
I am and here’s how I feel

he puts Krispy Kreme donuts beside
their head now I want you to notice this

up until this point God has provided for
Elijah everywhere that God has sent

Elijah but now Elijah’s going somewhere
that God didn’t send him and he still

provides can we take 23 seconds and
praise God for the provision we did not

earn for the mercy we did not deserve

yeah

that kind of grace that kind of God

Micronesian Island mercy I said it wrong
didn’t I

I don’t care God knows what I’m trying
to say and so do you I’m trying to say

that he collapsed and there at the place
of his fainting in the shade of the

broom tree which he never should have
seen away from his post there he wakes

and finds bread beside him so that he
can continue the journey being a

preacher is a privilege but I’d be lying
to say that there are not times oh man

how much should I tell them Lord if I tell
them too much they won’t respect me

anymore if I don’t tell them enough they
won’t relate with me I don’t know what to

if I preach too hard they’ll think I don’t
love them but I don’t preach hard enough

they won’t have any change in their life
cuz it’ll all just be sugar-coated nonsense

the difference between me and you is you
don’t know what I meant to say when I

get up here you don’t have the blueprint

some people will say that was a great
sermon and meanwhile I’m

telling God to take my life I mean
I don’t want to die but I don’t want to

preach the 11:30 either it’s somewhere between those two not cuz I
don’t love it please don’t hear me oh

it’s so hard to be a pastor it’s so hard
I’m so sorry for you we’ll pray for you Pastor I’m

not saying I don’t appreciate it that’s
what I used to think it used to make me

feel bad because I would feel like the
fact that I didn’t want to do

it anymore was because I didn’t
appreciate the opportunity to do it okay

we’re gonna break down this
wall for a minute where y’all are

looking at me like I’m the only one how
many parents have ever had a fantasy of

just leaving just I mean just out just fix
your own easy mac pop your own pop

tarts

no note no map see y’all ain’t got no kids
that’s why you’re not standing up you

had never been a preacher that’s why you
can’t relate that’s why I make Holly I

usually make her preach on Mother’s Day
she said if you do that to me this year

I’m gonna make you stay home with the
kids for a weekend I said I’ll preach

it costs you to carry something it costs
you to wear a mantle it costs you to

stay and raise those kids it costs you to
stay in the rain

but what happens to you over time it’s
not that you’re not grateful and it’s

not that you’re rebellious that’s not
why you run that’s not why you run the

reason you say I’ve had enough is
because you don’t feel like you are enough

that’s why he ran hey thank you for
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