If you didn’t have a seat at WE23, WE got you! Our cousin Dr. Love McPherson shared with us how to navigate the dance of love with grace and a whole heart check for ourselves. ________________________________________ Watch the FULL “Hope for Love w/ Dr. Love McPherson” session on the Woman Evolve TV App. REGISTER for WE24: womanevolveconference.com Stay plugged into the Woman Evolve community: Download the APP: Woman Evolve www.womanevolve.com www.womanevolve.tv download the app from any mobile device’s app store, first 7 days are FREE! Want to support this ministry? Text WEGIVE to (833) 611-9066 FOLLOW US ON THE SOCIALS: Instagram: Woman Evolve and Sarah Jakes Roberts Twitter: Woman Evolve and SJakesRoberts Facebook: Woman Evolve and Sarah Jakes Roberts

have anybody noticed that they have the

uh uh they’ve had a pattern of choosing

the wrong person more than one time

raise your

hand guess what noer self might say this

noer self might

say and you know when you say what what

kind of guy you like I like somebody

who’s nice and Christian but I do like a

little Edge I like a little bad

boy notes to S would say


boys can be good in bed but not

necessarily conversation

wise not all of

them bad

boys sometimes when they are taking

advantage of me will drive me to

work and keep my car to go visit the

side check and get

a note to

self how have you

forgotten how have you

forgotten you remember the trauma you

remember the breakup but you can’t

remember the incidents that you still

forgave the incidents because guess what

what overr you was what was happening

wherever it was happening the good times

forget that but I am saying to you all

we have to stop what are some other

things that we have to do specifically

specifically what we have to to see

is write down what’s reasonable and

what’s not you’ve learned your lesson

some of you all what’s reasonable you

say love am I asking too much I want

this this this yeah I know your list in

Clues with must walk on


let’s let’s look at some notes to self

about what’s reasonable and what’s not

what’s reasonable see I’m not going to

tell you your standards are too high

your standards are not too high I’m not

going to tell you that you asking too

much what I’m going to tell you is

you’re asking the wrong

thing you’re asking the wrong thing when

you ask no not to self when you ask

somebody else to make you happy you’re

asking the wrong

thing the truth of the matter is your

the happiness studies show the research

shows it is a 50401 thing 50% of your

happiness will be based off of your DNA

the stuff that Dr Anita talked about get

the sermon if you weren’t here 50% will

be about your epigenetics 40% will be

about the traumas you have suffered

since you’ve been here and only

10% will be about what’s happening right

now we think 100% will rest on a

relationship but you’ve got to get that

that the the 50% in order you’ve got to

to to work on that you’ve got to work on

the 40% and then the

10% is what you know that you need to

set some notes to self in order to

manage the second thing make me feel

good about myself what’s unreasonable

make me feel good about myself the thing

about that is this trauma distorts how

you see yourself therefore you cannot

get somebody else externally to do

something that you are supposed to

already be doing

internally what’s another note to self

you want you unreasonably it is an

unreasonable expectation for somebody to

fix your life you cannot ask broken

people to fix

you they got a full-time job working on

their self if they will work on their

self but your responsibility between you

and God is to work on you and then

another one every morning new fireworks

I see I didn’t say new mercies I say I

said new fireworks I see the thought

that every day will be compassionate

love is not not a reasonable

expectation I’ve been married for 40

years you all it’s not a reasonable

expectation and let me tell you

something love is a decision so I made a

decision to love my husband it was

liking him that was the The

Challenge thank God I still like


but let me tell you all something first

of all when you first meet somebody it

is a chemical like chemicals like

oxytocin and serotonin and uh uh damine

those are Feelgood chemicals that are

released inside of you that make you

Palm your palm sweaty you think about

that person all day you feel all good

inside when you think about those baby

you own drugs

okay but those drugs wear off within 6

months and you will still be chasing

your first


High because love goes from passionate

love to compassionate

love compassionate love can you handle

that can Your Love cover

compassion compassion for somebody who



compassion for

somebody who makes under six

figures compassion for

somebody who’s works hard will work two

jobs but still might be living at

home see let me tell you something your

love may not cover

that but please know this

the majority the average height in

America of men is not your tall dark and

handsome it’s


5’8 everybody say I’m looking for my

Boaz guess what Ruth was 40 and Boaz was

80 good luck finding your Bo



y’all still want Boaz come on


Boaz the next thing that’s unreasonable

is give me

significance first of all do you realize

the statistics on that is the number

8020 the only

thing that your mate is supposed to

bring into the relationship to enhance

it is the 20% you supposed to bring the

80 80 you walk in with a gift look at my


baby he brought in with his 80 that he

has done on himself and he said well you

know what you got all this you got this

you got this internally externally

whatever I will enhance it with 20% we

think that they’re supposed to bring the

80 and we supposed to bring the 20

that’s unreasonable

what can you expect I’ve already talked

to y’all of what you can expect what

should you be able to expect you should

expect note to self I should be able to

expect someone not to destroy what I

have built a Lifetime

Building do not send wrecked wrath to


me to topple down my self-esteem to

topple down my my finances to take a

wrecking ball at my motivation to take a

wrecking ball at my mental health don’t

send W wrecked wrath to my

life and vice

versa Wreck It Wreck It

Rachel to diligently what else could you

should you be able to expect to

diligently do your work and support me

in doing mine don’t stop me from my

growth don’t compete with my growth

support me I’m not asking you to be my

therapist I’m not asking you to be my

savior I’m simply asking you to support

me as I grow and be

patient and vice versa what’s reasonable

to see me as a spouse and not your

savior I am not here to save your money

I am not here to save your addictions I

am not entered into any codependent


but you will enter into a codependent

relationship with somebody who needs you

if you don’t believe you have the glue

to keep somebody who will want

you what else should I expect I should

be able to expect that you have good

character that you’re not a a Serial

cheater you’re not a ghaster wasting my

time you’re not a bread prummer you’re

not a faking the success you in

instagramming it you are not a a liar

you are not a narcissist you have

compassion you have goodness you are

Godly I should be able to we should be

able to mutually expect