When you experience disappointments in your life, how do you respond? Do you respond by blaming yourself or do you look around for someone else to blame? In Looking Beyond Our Disappointments, Dr. Stanley teaches us how to look beyond our disappointments so that we don’t surrender God given goals in our lives.
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timeless truths
a collection of classic sermons from dr
charles stanley
today’s selection recorded in 2000
looking beyond our disappointments
when you experience disappointments in
your life how do you respond
do you respond by suddenly immediately
blaming yourself
what did you do wrong if out of this or
if out of that
or do you look around to see somebody
else you can blame something that some
somehow you can put the blame on someone
else
well oftentimes we face disappointments
in our life and
we don’t know exactly how to respond
what to say
what to do how to how to react to them
because often times
we can’t quite identify what the real
cause is what the purpose is and so
sometimes we get
we we get stalled right where we are and
we get stalled right on
dead center and we can’t reach our goals
we can’t reach our desires and
oftentimes instead of moving on in life
and progressing in life and
using each of those times of
disappointment as times to learn
and to move on and use them as stepping
stones in life we just get stalled right
there
and so one of the two things will happen
we will either find ourselves stalled
and derailed out of god’s will in our
life
or we’ll find ourselves beginning to
understand what god was
up to moving on in life and
learning from those disappointments and
beginning to experience the joy of the
lord
and progress in our life in areas that
we never even
experienced before but the issue is how
do we respond to them
now let me make it clear right up front
first of all you can’t disappoint god so
we’re not talking about disappointing
god
we disappoint ourselves we discipline
others we can’t disappoint god for the
simple reason
god knows everything past present future
so he has no
false expectations of what we can do or
we may not do or can’t accomplish or may
not accomplish
and since he knows all about us and
knows
everything there is to know about our
future as well as our past there are no
disappointments for them you have to
have expectations
to have disappointments so a
disappointment really
is an emotional response to our failure
to achieve or to fulfill our desires our
hopes our dreams our goals
it’s an emotional response that is a
result of our failure to fulfill
those desires dreams or our goals we
have set for our life
the question is how do you respond so i
want you to turn if you will
to the 11th chapter of john and this is
a chapter that is known primarily for
something far other than i want to talk
about
but this chapter is full of truth about
many different subjects
and the one i want to talk about here is
simply this looking beyond
our disappointments because if you don’t
learn to look beyond them and find out
what god is up to
they will stall you dead in your track
they will derail you
they will they will absolutely cause you
to give up and surrender god-given goals
in your life
simply because you get disappointed so
beginning in verse 1 of this 11th
chapter of john
the scripture says now a certain man was
sick lazarus of bethany
the village of mary and her sister
martha
it was the mary who anointed the lord
with ointment and wiped his feet with
her hair
whose brother lazarus was sick so the
sisters sent word to him saying
lord behold he whom you love
is sick but when jesus heard this he
said
this sickness is not to the end of death
he says but for the glory of god so that
the son of god may be glorified
by it now jesus loved martha and her
sister
and lazarus so when he heard that he was
sick
he then stayed two days longer in the
place where he was
now let’s move up if you will to the
17th verse
so finally of course we know he does
come and so when jesus came he found
that he’d already
been in the tomb four days now bethany
was near jerusalem about two miles off
and many of the jews had come to martha
and mary to console them concerning
their brother
martha therefore when she heard that
jesus was coming
went to meet him but mary stayed at the
house
martha then said to jesus listen to this
lord
if you’d been here my brother would not
have died
lord if you’d been here my brother would
not have died
even now i know that whatever you ask of
god god will give you
jesus said to her your brother will rise
again
martha said to him i know that he will
rise again in the resurrection on that
last day
jesus said to her i am the resurrection
of the life
he who believes in me will live even if
he dies
and everyone who lives and believes in
me will never die do you believe this
she said to him yes lord i have believed
that you are the christ
the son of god even he who comes into
the world
well let me just give you a little idea
what’s happening in this passage because
this passage deals with disappointment
for example here’s what happened
lazarus the brother of mary and martha
whom jesus loved dearly the bible says
and they loved him
uh he he’s sick and so mary and martha
send this messenger to jesus
probably took him a couple of days to
get there maybe somewhere thereabouts
and they found jesus and told him
lazarus is sick and what i want you to
notice
is the message that they sent here’s
what they didn’t say they didn’t say
please tell jesus lazarus is sick come
quickly
they didn’t even say tell jesus lazarus
is sick
please speak a word of healing they
didn’t say to that here’s what they said
they said look at this
in verse 3 now so the sister sent word
to him
saying lord behold that means this is
urgent
he whom you love is sick look at that he
whom you love is sick
they didn’t say please come please heal
him they just
they were just sending a message the one
you love is sick
now why did they say that because they
knew listen what the scripture
says now jesus loved martha and her
sister
and lazarus they knew that jesus loved
them and so
they didn’t sense that they had to tell
him anything else but jesus
the one you love is sick they didn’t say
lazarus who loves you
but the one you love is sick their
expectation was as soon as he heard that
he would either come and heal lazarus by
touching him or raising him up or
whatever it might be or
at least he would speak a word to the
messenger and say
you go tell them their brother is healed
and when he walks in with that message
lazarus would be healed all they said
was you just tell him
that he’s sick well that’s what happened
four days later jesus shows up
lazarus is dead in the tomb rocks
already stone rolled against the tomb
he shows up and so what happens is
because there was such
animosity toward jesus such hatred told
him in fact
even after lazarus was raised in the
grave the bible says the pharisees and
the sadducees
were plotting not only to kill jesus but
to kill lazarus too
because his the fact that he was alive
was living proof that this jesus was not
an unusual man but the most unusual one
who claimed to be the messiah
and so they hated him and so when jesus
came upon the scene in bethany
uh he waited outside the city outside
the town
because he didn’t want to cause any any
turmoil and so
from mount they sent a message martha
goes out to meet him what’s the first
thing she says
lord if you’d been here my brother would
not have died
now was there any disappointment in that
absolutely there was try to cover that
up and be a false
now here’s the question was martha
disappointed in jesus
or was she disappointed in the fact
that her brother had died and
now he’s gone i don’t think you and i
could say
that she was disappointed in the person
of jesus
she was certainly disappointed in what
happened
but to say that she was disappointed in
the lord jesus whom she believed to be
the messiah the son of god and i don’t
believe she was
she was disappointed that jesus for some
reason did not come and allowed her her
brother to die you and i would have been
disappointed
lord i mean martha could have said lord
how many meals have i cooked you how
many meals have i served the disciples
i mean my home’s always been open you’ve
always been a guest i’ve always been
there for you when you needed me
and now when we needed you you didn’t
show up
i don’t think she said all that but you
know what
being human she thought it
she had to think it i mean this was not
god she was mary and martha
she was human and you read that 10th
chapter of luke and the message we
preached on
some time ago i mean she came out and
said jesus
why don’t you why don’t you tell my
sister mary to come to the kitchen help
me
i mean she was a normal natural woman
and so they were disappointed he didn’t
show up
in fact it was so bad the messenger
didn’t even come back and say jesus said
i’m not coming
it was just a cold empty delay
and so they were disappointed now so
let’s get it down there where it is
reality that’s what reality is all about
we all get disappointed
so the issue is how do we respond
how do we how do we respond to
disappointments in life because no
matter who you
are you’re going to experience them and
more than likely you may experience one
this coming week
you could experience one before
you get home today disappointments are
out there
so i want to give you several principles
in this passage that if you’ll jot them
down i am absolutely sure and confident
they will help you
they’ve been tested and tried by
millions over the years and i can tell
you personally every single one of them
works
no matter what you’re going through they
will work and the first one is simply
this god has a purpose
for allowing the disappointments of our
life
he has a purpose for allowing the
disappointments of our life he’s god
he could prevent him if he wanted to he
could change any circumstance of our
life to prevent any kind of
disappointment if he wanted to
and you and i can look around us and say
well how could he how could he have
prevented that because he’s god and so
he could prevent them if he chose
but he allows disappointments in our
life for very specific reasons
now he could have spoken or he could
have arrived
in time to save lives lazarus from death
but he didn’t
his higher purpose was not simplest not
simply to heal
his friend but to raise him from the
dead
far more impressive far more convincing
listen far more powerful and not only
that he would be able to do several
things first of all
he would teach his disciples something
about faith
he says i’m glad that i wasn’t there so
that you may believe
let us go to him because he knew that
the cross was very soon coming
and that their faith was going to be
tested and tried in every way possible
he wanted riveted into their mind that
when they nailed him to the cross
and he was his body was placed in a tomb
he was going to be resurrected just like
he promised and that he had the power to
raise from the dead
even those who had been in the tombs
four days he’d been there
so what was his purpose his purpose was
to glorify god his purpose was to gl was
to be glorified himself
his purpose also was to teach them to
trust him to believe him
and his and certainly his his purpose
was to do something in the life of mary
and martha and lazarus
they would never forget as long as they
lived they would live with this legacy
that he died and jesus christ the son of
god raised him from the dead
living proof as long as they live this
christ is the messiah
his purpose was higher now whatever
disappointment god allows you and me to
go through
he doesn’t just ignore it now watch this
we are quick to claim this verse of
scripture but oftentimes we fail to
apply it in the nitty gritty of life
when we have difficult hurtful painful
disappointing experiences in our life
what about romans 8 28 when he says
that god is engineering our
circumstances for our good
well does he engineer our circumstances
for our good sometimes
most of the time all the time because he
is god he does it all the time whatever
disappointments we face in life whatever
he’s allowed he has allowed them
for a purpose listen for a purpose that
is listen
that he will turn for our good and
oftentimes to our surprising good
if we will respond in the right fashion
and that’s simply to trust him
there’s a second principle i think here
and certainly it was true in mary and
martha’s life
second principle is this and that is
that god is more interested in our
spiritual growth
than relieving us from disappointments
he’s far more interested in our
spiritual growth and relieving us from
disappointments now here’s a good lesson
i think
about this whole issue of faith because
martha
and mary are are getting ready to
experience a monumental
leap in their faith monumental leap in
their faith you say well
didn’t they already have faith they
listen to jesus mary sat at the feet of
jesus
martha had said the feet of jesus and
they’d listened and they’d watched and
they’d heard and they’d fed him and
he’d been there many times and sharing
experiences about the father and things
they were going through
didn’t wasn’t she already lady of faith
yes she was now listen
very carefully listen say amen that’s
not pretty weak let’s say that again
amen
there is a difference between having
fundamental faith
an active vibrant practical working
life-changing impacting faith that’s the
difference
now watch this i said to you you believe
jesus christ son of god
yes you believe he’s the messiah yes
you believe he was virgin born yes you
believe in salvation by grace alone yes
you believe the new breath has gone by
to heaven yes do you believe that god
answers prayer
yes do you believe that that you are
justified by faith in the
death of jesus the cross yes you believe
jesus christ is coming again
yes you believe you see the father’s
right hand yes you believe he’s in a
sitting for you
yes you believe you’re going to be
resurrected yes you
you believe there’s a heaven yes you
believe you’re going to spend time in
heaven yes yes yes
well you got it down now
you get some big disappointment in your
life
oh god where are you lord lord lord
lord where are you help me jesus you
know what
it’s one thing to have the fundamentals
down
it’s something else to live by faith
so when somebody says well i believe the
book from cover to cover that’s not the
issue
that’s the bottom line the issue is am i
able to take the principles of scripture
and apply them to my daily life where i
live so when i hit one of these big
terrible painful horrible
disappointments in life
it doesn’t stall me derail me and get me
out of god’s will and keep me from
becoming the person god wants me to be
here’s what i want you to see
all of us when we get in the depths
of some situations and circumstances
here’s what happens
the mind that that is that this battle
goes on in our minds
faith versus reason reason said four
days
he smells his body is deteriorating
and he’s dead faith says whatever you
say jesus
is gonna be and there was a hesitation
on her part to roll back the stone
even though she just said i know even
now that whatever you ask of god god’s
going to give you
now i’m saying all that to say this this
woman was human
every single one of us is human we will
face situations and circumstances and
disappointments in life
where our faith is going to be tested
and trot if it weren’t tested and tried
we wouldn’t grow
what is it that causes us to grow ease
comfort and pleasure absolutely not
what causes us to grow is difficulty
hardship pain
disappointments trials in life those
helpless times when we don’t know
what to do and how to handle anything
but to trust in god
it was an awesome lesson of faith for
her
and i believe that those times of
disappointment in life are god’s
opportunities to stretch our faith
it’s one thing to say what we believe
when everything is going our way
do i still believe it is my faith
vibrant and alive
and active and practical and listen will
it stand the test of fire and floods
if he won’t stand the test of fire and
floods
desertion abandonment the threat of
death and everything else
then that faith is weak and so what
happens
he knew this was an awesome opportunity
to do for martha someone who
he loved dearly he could the greatest
thing he could give her
is to absolutely explode her faith
and watch what happened then i want you
to think about something else
and that is that our disappointments
do not are not an indication that god
doesn’t love us
but how many times have i heard this
well now if god really loves us
why does he allow these painful
difficult circumstances why does he
allows
why does he allow us to hurt the way he
hurts if he loves us
disappointment has nothing to do with
the love of god
if there is no indication that god does
not love us because he allows us to go
the disappointments we just said
he’s got a tremendous purpose in mind
and oftentimes fantastic purpose in mind
oftentimes he’s in the process of
growing us up spiritually has nothing to
do with love now watch what the
scripture says
scripture says for example when they
sent this message they sent the message
it said behold
he whom you love is sick so certainly
they knew that jesus loved lazarus and
that he loved them
now jesus loved martha and her sister
and lazarus so they had this wonderful
loving relationship
god in their relationship with each
other and so there was no question about
that
now what i want you notice is this
jesus response to them with silence
that’s hard it’s like you’re praying in
some great difficulty
and your prayers are getting to the
ceiling and they’re just bouncing around
hitting the wall and coming back and
you’re thinking god where are you
remember this whenever you feel that
away he’s where he’s always been
right here god doesn’t move thank god he
does he doesn’t move
i may move you may move we may not be
able to find him in our own mind in the
heart where we think he ought to be
feeling what we ought to feel
he hasn’t moved his love has not changed
disappointments do not mean that god
doesn’t love us sometimes
those disappointments in fact if we will
respond right he will turn every single
one of them into something fantastically
good in our life
we will profit from the disappointments
but if we get into this
this mode well god you if you loved me
you wouldn’t let this happen
and yes i am disappointed and i’m hurt
and
um lord why don’t you do this and why
don’t you do that
that’s not the issue because think about
this
if you love somebody you always want
what’s best for them
if you love someone you will always try
to provide what is best for them
does god love us yes does he always want
what’s best for us
always not sometimes not most of the
time always he wants what’s best
does he provide his best for us always
do we always experience the best
no why because we’re not willing to
surrender to what his best is because
here’s what i want you remember
that god god’s choice of our best
isn’t always our choice we think we have
needs that god knows we don’t have
we don’t think we have needs that god
knows we do have
and so oftentimes in our disappointments
because we lose
or because there’s loss because there’s
separation because
something happens out there that that
absolutely
places us in the position of being so
disappointed
we cry out god how could you love me and
allow this
and all the time god is
loving us you know why i know that
because it’s his nature to love he can’t
do anything else
not told his children told his children
he loves us no matter what’s going on in
our life
will he allow us to go through painful
difficult trying
heart searching rending times yes does
that mean for a brief moment he cease to
love us no
does that mean that somehow god’s love
is less than no
is his love for us waning no is there
something that we have done
or something we’ve missed somewhere
along the way that he couldn’t possibly
love us the same anymore no and yet
there are a lot of people who believe
that that somewhere along the way you
must have done something
that god can’t quite love you quite as
much as he used to yes he does
now here’s the problem when i’m hurting
and this pain and and the pain is so
intense
i mean sometimes it’s difficult to feel
his love and the pain at the same time
that’s when you have to go not by
feeling
but by fact the fact is the truth is
god loves me just as much in my tears in
my hurt
in my crying in my in my pain and my in
my
sense of emptiness at the moment he
loves me just as much now
as when everything is going my way you
can’t go by feeling
and so in our disappointments has
nothing to do with it he loves us or not
well let’s move on to something else for
example
faith that god is in control
will enable us listen it will enable us
to endure
every single discipline in life now here
is a major key
faith that god is in control if god is
not in control of your life
you are a victim you’re a victim of
circumstances
if he’s not in control of your life
here’s what life is like if he’s not in
control of our lives
we’re like people in a little one-man
raft
out in the middle of the pacific ocean
in a storm and you know what we don’t
know what’s going to happen
if god is not in control of your life
you don’t have any assurance of anything
absolutely nothing whatsoever no
assurance of anything if god’s not in
control
very important that you not remember
this when we face disappointments
one thing listen the bottom line the
foundational truth is
god is in control of your life if you’ve
trusted him as your personal savior
i don’t understand what he’s up to i
don’t know how long this this
disappointment is going to last
i don’t know what the end result is but
i know that my god is in control he’s
going to turn it for my good
no matter what once you settle that
issue
you will be able to look beyond any
disappointment in life
and know that god’s up to something good
when you surrender your conviction that
god is in control
you give up the basis of your
absolute peace and joy and contentment
and faith
in difficult times in life and you’re
out there swimming on your own and my
friend
you’ll be sorry it just doesn’t work
that way
she knew she said she said even now
even now i know no matter what i’m
seeing
no matter what i hear no matter what i
see even now i know
that you’re in control whatever you ask
is going to happen well let’s move on
something else i want you to notice and
that’s this
that peace will prevail in the midst of
our disappointments
when we learn to wait upon the lord
peace will prevail
in the midst of our disappointments when
we learn to wait upon the lord you say
well now how could
you think that martha and mary had peace
they had a sense of underlying peace
because they knew that jesus they knew
jesus listen
while they were disappointed in the fact
that he didn’t show up
and they didn’t understand what was
going on deep down inside
when she said i know
that whatever you ask the father is
going to he’ll give it to you
there was this overwhelming sense of
peace that amidst the does that mean no
pain no
listen you can have pain and sorrow and
hurt
and disappointment and be grieved in
your spirit
but underlying that there’s this
indescribable layer of peace that
absolutely cannot be moved because
of your simple faith and trust in god i
don’t like it god
i’m hurting i’m painful i’m disappointed
lord you know what’s going on
and yet in spite of all that i know
that you’re in control and i know that
you only want what’s best for me and i
know
you’re only going to do what’s best for
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me