While most of us grew up with parents who were silent when it came to the topic of sex, we need to have an ongoing conversation with our sons about sex and their sexuality. If we handle this confidently and at the right time, we will set ourselves up to be the ones our sons come to for answers about sexual issues, which will empower them to live victoriously and purely in an oversexualized culture. Watch the full course on MessengerX: https://go.MessengerX.com/momsofmen Get “The Story of Me (God’s Design for Sex, Book 1)” book from Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Story-Gods-Des… #lisabevere #lisabeveremomsofmen #momsofmencourse #havilahcunnington #lisabeverestudy #lisabeverecurriculum #parentinghacks #raisingboys #parentingtips #parentingadvice #parenting #strongwomen #parentingcourse #christianparenting #christianstudy #moms #mominspiration #bravewomen #howtodiscipline #motherhood #sexuality #teachingsexuality
you know we talked about at the kitchen
table we talked about things openly like
masturbation we talked to think about
things like you know you’re going to
have friends or people that are going to
encourage this and you know we we said
no you know what we need we need you to
understand that one of the most powerful
things God has ever given you is your
sexuality that’s right and you don’t
want to awaken awaken to yourself the
Bible says do not arouse or awaken love
before it’s time and what time is
Covenant we don’t want you to awaken to
yourself we want you to awaken in the
right Manner and we don’t awaken as lust
we want it to awaken as love and so we
add a lot of those conversations right
over there around the dinner table
we are so happy that you joined us today
and we’ve kind of been avoiding this
topic we kind of pressed it till we got
a little bit of a flow going but when we
were looking at these questions there
was a constant reoccurring theme about
boys and their male body parts how they
relate to those how they relate to other
boys male body part it was a constant
theme there was flicking there was
inappropriate touching there was no
stuff and so even though we are not boys
we actually we actually want to talk
about that I still remember the morning
that um I was making breakfast I’m not a
morning person there’s a coffee machine
right there and I remember like making
my coffee and my boys one of my sons
came down will not name him came down
and said Mom you know when you get up in
the morning and your penis won’t go down
and I was like no no I actually I
actually don’t know that and he’s like
I’m hitting it it’s not going down I’m
like okay and actually I don’t want to
know that and I don’t have a penis and
but this is a very real thing and one of
the things I want to say is you know
because we’re women we don’t have a
penis we automatically associate penis
with sexual and we don’t want to make
our boys feel shamed about their body
parts I mean these are body parts
they’re living with and they do function
different than female body parts and you
know we we want to not like be so afraid
because of what’s bad out there that we
make them feel bad about that and arouse
the sin nature it does arouse the law
you know like don’t do it you know like
don’t even put down like you don’t have
it I mean they’re not going to do that
they’re not going to ignore their penis
so what we want to do is we really want
to empower them in healthy ways with
appropriate touching and what’s
inappropriate and um you know we want to
give you some tools on that so you know
have one I think have a different
approach on this
um I do remember uh when when like going
crazy and and I may have traumatized my
sons on this but like they were playing
in another little boy’s house and um
somehow somehow pants were dropped and
stickers were applied and I like freaked
out I was like cheers son put a sticker
on my son he’ll never walk in your house
again and then I realized okay I
probably had a little bit of an
overreaction and right now in our
culture we can have an overreaction that
actually ends up kind of sabotaging what
we want my children have never put
stickers on their penis again which I’m
okay with but um you know yeah boys
they’re afraid of stickers yeah it’s
very much it’s very much a part of their
life and we need to as women not you
know you know not be afraid not be
afraid of it have these conversations
it’s part of who they are it’s true and
you know I I bring up an all-girl home
uh that was something really new to me
was like wow there’s a lot of male
anatomy all around me and yeah and you
know I think what was a I think in I
don’t know if insightful’s right word
that sounds more like formal than like
just amazing to me was that you know
their Anatomy is out in front of them so
yeah yeah and the truth is is that um
you know the only message of shame that
someone gets is what we kind of give
them about it and so
um you know I think what’s really
important is that we celebrate how we’re
made that everything that our bodies do
is not all sexual it’s not all sexually
based it’s not because there’s something
hidden or something has happened to us
but it’s genuinely I think a lot of the
fear comes is that we don’t want to miss
signals if someone is not okay or
something is not okay so it gets
grounded in fear versus really being
practical that this is their body right
they they’re going to need this body
this body is going to be sexual
grandchildren that’s right you’ll be
very happy about it so not to shame them
you know I think what is important in
our in our home I know that this was
some of the questions that were around
was you know and I’ve had it all I mean
I’ve had people that said your son was
on top of you know my son and I I went
oh my gosh maybe there’s something I
don’t know and so you know I think you
always ask those questions but what we
have learned or at least with our boys
is that there is a a Natural Curiosity
to their body they don’t know how it
works they’re not sure and it’s out in
front of them and they’re figuring
things out
um and we started to really teach them
age appropriate times for their bodies
so what I mean by that is you know for a
long time our four boys could fit in a
big tub we have a big big bathtub and
they four could take baths and all that
but the older ones began to be more
curious about the younger ones
um penis they want to know like you know
if I if I if I touch it do you laugh or
you know whatever it is and you know and
and so we begin to realize was this
isn’t about them being inappropriate
they know like hey guys they’re curious
so let’s let’s set them up for Success
so one thing we do in our home is uh you
know they take thousand showers at the
same time but our older ones take
showers by themselves because they just
couldn’t keep their hands off each other
and they’re laughing but you said you
were actually in the oh those are open
there’s nothing in there we’re not
closing door you know you don’t want to
give your voice a lot of time alone no
no we don’t yeah can you talk about that
a little bit yeah I mean for you know
like I like I I threw as many children
into the shower as one and we assembly
lined them out so I was like eyes on
getting them out you know getting them
all clean getting them out getting
everybody to tell getting everybody
dressed so so we did it that way yeah
but you know hey you know don’t
um don’t create environments that are
going to be losing environments for your
kids you know and and um you talked
about going to bed at night yeah yeah
and so when as I got older so one’s
bathing and as they got older it became
really important to help them and I want
to say Steward their sexuality because
now they are having some sexual
responses they don’t understand and and
um and I remember that one of my sons
came to me and he was um he said you
know hey hey uh my brother is listening
to these CDs every night and I have to
like stay awake until the CD stops and
it I don’t want to listen to CDs anymore
I’m tired of hearing you know whatever
and I can’t sleep and and then I was
like okay you know what out of
consideration we need to stop playing
the CD yeah and my my son that liked the
CDs pulled me aside and said Mom
I like girls yeah I like girls I was
like oh I’m glad okay I’m glad to hear
that he’s like no I like girls and
that’s why I listen to CDs and I was
like okay I’m I’m sorry I’m not I’m not
making I’m not making this connection
here and he said no I like girls and so
it really helps me to listen to CDs when
I’m going to bed at night and I was like
oh okay we’ll get your headphones and so
we we made sure that our kids had an
environment that whatsoever is pure
whatsoever is just whatever good report
whatever so that’s what they would have
fed into their life and so if that meant
listening to Chronicles of Narnia we
train them early on to actually fall
asleep to different things I put my kids
to bed you know I still I know this is
crazy but you know I have older guys
they still find me and they’re like Mom
and Dad pray over it yes you know we
pray over our boys you know we aren’t
just like you’re emotionally