While most of us grew up with parents who were silent when it came to the topic of sex, we need to have an ongoing conversation with our sons about sex and their sexuality. If we handle this confidently and at the right time, we will set ourselves up to be the ones our sons come to for answers about sexual issues, which will empower them to live victoriously and purely in an oversexualized culture. Watch the full course on MessengerX: https://go.MessengerX.com/momsofmen Get “The Story of Me (God’s Design for Sex, Book 1)” book from Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Story-Gods-Des… #lisabevere #lisabeveremomsofmen #momsofmencourse #havilahcunnington #lisabeverestudy #lisabeverecurriculum #parentinghacks #raisingboys #parentingtips #parentingadvice #parenting #strongwomen #parentingcourse #christianparenting #christianstudy #moms #mominspiration #bravewomen #howtodiscipline #motherhood #sexuality #teachingsexuality

you know we talked about at the kitchen

table we talked about things openly like

masturbation we talked to think about

things like you know you’re going to

have friends or people that are going to

encourage this and you know we we said

no you know what we need we need you to

understand that one of the most powerful

things God has ever given you is your

sexuality that’s right and you don’t

want to awaken awaken to yourself the

Bible says do not arouse or awaken love

before it’s time and what time is

Covenant we don’t want you to awaken to

yourself we want you to awaken in the

right Manner and we don’t awaken as lust

we want it to awaken as love and so we

add a lot of those conversations right

over there around the dinner table

we are so happy that you joined us today

and we’ve kind of been avoiding this

topic we kind of pressed it till we got

a little bit of a flow going but when we

were looking at these questions there

was a constant reoccurring theme about

boys and their male body parts how they

relate to those how they relate to other

boys male body part it was a constant

theme there was flicking there was

inappropriate touching there was no

stuff and so even though we are not boys

we actually we actually want to talk

about that I still remember the morning

that um I was making breakfast I’m not a

morning person there’s a coffee machine

right there and I remember like making

my coffee and my boys one of my sons

came down will not name him came down

and said Mom you know when you get up in

the morning and your penis won’t go down

and I was like no no I actually I

actually don’t know that and he’s like

I’m hitting it it’s not going down I’m

like okay and actually I don’t want to

know that and I don’t have a penis and

but this is a very real thing and one of

the things I want to say is you know

because we’re women we don’t have a

penis we automatically associate penis

with sexual and we don’t want to make

our boys feel shamed about their body

parts I mean these are body parts

they’re living with and they do function

different than female body parts and you

know we we want to not like be so afraid

because of what’s bad out there that we

make them feel bad about that and arouse

the sin nature it does arouse the law

you know like don’t do it you know like

don’t even put down like you don’t have

it I mean they’re not going to do that

they’re not going to ignore their penis

so what we want to do is we really want

to empower them in healthy ways with

appropriate touching and what’s

inappropriate and um you know we want to

give you some tools on that so you know

have one I think have a different

approach on this

um I do remember uh when when like going

crazy and and I may have traumatized my

sons on this but like they were playing

in another little boy’s house and um

somehow somehow pants were dropped and

stickers were applied and I like freaked

out I was like cheers son put a sticker

on my son he’ll never walk in your house

again and then I realized okay I

probably had a little bit of an

overreaction and right now in our

culture we can have an overreaction that

actually ends up kind of sabotaging what

we want my children have never put

stickers on their penis again which I’m

okay with but um you know yeah boys

they’re afraid of stickers yeah it’s

very much it’s very much a part of their

life and we need to as women not you

know you know not be afraid not be

afraid of it have these conversations

it’s part of who they are it’s true and

you know I I bring up an all-girl home

uh that was something really new to me

was like wow there’s a lot of male

anatomy all around me and yeah and you

know I think what was a I think in I

don’t know if insightful’s right word

that sounds more like formal than like

just amazing to me was that you know

their Anatomy is out in front of them so

yeah yeah and the truth is is that um

you know the only message of shame that

someone gets is what we kind of give

them about it and so

um you know I think what’s really

important is that we celebrate how we’re

made that everything that our bodies do

is not all sexual it’s not all sexually

based it’s not because there’s something

hidden or something has happened to us

but it’s genuinely I think a lot of the

fear comes is that we don’t want to miss

signals if someone is not okay or

something is not okay so it gets

grounded in fear versus really being

practical that this is their body right

they they’re going to need this body

this body is going to be sexual

grandchildren that’s right you’ll be

very happy about it so not to shame them

you know I think what is important in

our in our home I know that this was

some of the questions that were around

was you know and I’ve had it all I mean

I’ve had people that said your son was

on top of you know my son and I I went

oh my gosh maybe there’s something I

don’t know and so you know I think you

always ask those questions but what we

have learned or at least with our boys

is that there is a a Natural Curiosity

to their body they don’t know how it

works they’re not sure and it’s out in

front of them and they’re figuring

things out

um and we started to really teach them

age appropriate times for their bodies

so what I mean by that is you know for a

long time our four boys could fit in a

big tub we have a big big bathtub and

they four could take baths and all that

but the older ones began to be more

curious about the younger ones

um penis they want to know like you know

if I if I if I touch it do you laugh or

you know whatever it is and you know and

and so we begin to realize was this

isn’t about them being inappropriate

they know like hey guys they’re curious

so let’s let’s set them up for Success

so one thing we do in our home is uh you

know they take thousand showers at the

same time but our older ones take

showers by themselves because they just

couldn’t keep their hands off each other

and they’re laughing but you said you

were actually in the oh those are open

there’s nothing in there we’re not

closing door you know you don’t want to

give your voice a lot of time alone no

no we don’t yeah can you talk about that

a little bit yeah I mean for you know

like I like I I threw as many children

into the shower as one and we assembly

lined them out so I was like eyes on

getting them out you know getting them

all clean getting them out getting

everybody to tell getting everybody

dressed so so we did it that way yeah

but you know hey you know don’t

um don’t create environments that are

going to be losing environments for your

kids you know and and um you talked

about going to bed at night yeah yeah

and so when as I got older so one’s

bathing and as they got older it became

really important to help them and I want

to say Steward their sexuality because

now they are having some sexual

responses they don’t understand and and

um and I remember that one of my sons

came to me and he was um he said you

know hey hey uh my brother is listening

to these CDs every night and I have to

like stay awake until the CD stops and

it I don’t want to listen to CDs anymore

I’m tired of hearing you know whatever

and I can’t sleep and and then I was

like okay you know what out of

consideration we need to stop playing

the CD yeah and my my son that liked the

CDs pulled me aside and said Mom

I like girls yeah I like girls I was

like oh I’m glad okay I’m glad to hear

that he’s like no I like girls and

that’s why I listen to CDs and I was

like okay I’m I’m sorry I’m not I’m not

making I’m not making this connection

here and he said no I like girls and so

it really helps me to listen to CDs when

I’m going to bed at night and I was like

oh okay we’ll get your headphones and so

we we made sure that our kids had an

environment that whatsoever is pure

whatsoever is just whatever good report

whatever so that’s what they would have

fed into their life and so if that meant

listening to Chronicles of Narnia we

train them early on to actually fall

asleep to different things I put my kids

to bed you know I still I know this is

crazy but you know I have older guys

they still find me and they’re like Mom

and Dad pray over it yes you know we

pray over our boys you know we aren’t

just like you’re emotionally