As Donna cried out, an encounter with her Great Redeemer eventually led her to help others. In Journeys of Choice, Donna shares her story and powerful testimonies from others, including those of:
My guest was raped,
left violated and broken.
Her life became a downward
spiral of hopelessness and fear
until a series of visions
opened the way for her
to be free of guilt,
free of shame,
I mean completely free!
Now, it’s your turn.
SR: Donna Grisham
was born prematurely
and literally had to fight
for life to survive.
As a child, her father took her
and her siblings
and left her mother stranded
on the side of the road.
And when she was 16,
things got even worse.
Donna, you look strong,
healthy, vibrant.
But what happened at 16?
DG: Sid, the worst nightmare
of my life happened.
I happened to go to a bowling
alley with a friend of mine.
Her parents picked me up,
and we went to
the bowling alley, met two guys,
and during the time
we were bowling,
she started talking
to one of the guys,
and she really got close,
and she, they were
talking about going riding.
They wanted us to go riding.
She came back over to me.
She started talking. She said,
“They want us to go riding.”
I said, “I can’t do that.”
I said, “My grandmother told me
not to leave the bowling alley.”
So she kept on and on,
and as you know,
sometimes when you’re 16,
peer pressure,
you just fall into
the peer pressure.
So I left with them,
and honestly,
when I was leaving
the bowling alley,
as we were leaving,
driving off, my thought was,
“I’m leaving with two people,
strangers,
that I don’t even know,”
and in the back of my mind,
“What am I doing?”
But I never said anything,
so I went ahead,
and the other guy
that she liked wanted to go
and pick up his truck,
and so they stopped to pick up
his truck, and she got out,
and so I went to get out also,
and she said, “No.”
She said, “He’s going to
take you back to the bowling.
He’ll take you back,”
and I thought,
“I don’t want to go with him.
I want to go with you,”
and she said, “You’ll be fine.”
He ended up pulling off,
and when he pulled off,
he drove a little ways
and pulled into an alleyway
and raped me.
And, after that, he opened
the door and said, “Get out,”
and he dropped me
on the side of the road,
and I remember, when I fell,
I had skinned my arm up,
and so as I’m walking, trying to
get back to the bowling alley,
and I wasn’t very far
from the bowling alley,
so I finally made it back
to the bowling alley,
and as I made it back
to the bowling alley,
I went in, and I saw her
and the other guy.
They had already
gotten back there.
I don’t even think
I said anything.
I just ran to the bathroom.
I went to the bathroom,
and she came in after me.
After she came in, she said,
“What is going on?
What is your problem?”
And I said, “He raped me,”
and she said,
“No, just say what it was,
Donna. It’s consensual,”
and I said, “He raped me.
Do you hear me? He raped me.”
And she just kept saying,
“It’s consensual,”
and she walked out,
and I was standing there going,
“Now, let me go back.”
When he dropped me off,
the one thing he said to me,
he said, “Nobody’s ever
going to believe you.”
Then the girl, my friend,
supposed to be my friend,
telling me that it’s consensual,
that it wasn’t rape,
and I was like, “It’s happening,
exactly what he said.
She doesn’t believe me. Who else
is going to believe me?”
So I took it, and I packaged it,
and I wasn’t
going to say anything.
I was never going
to talk about this.
SR: But you had no choice
because what happened?
DG: I ended up pregnant,
and I ended up
25 weeks pregnant,
and I don’t know if people
realize how far along that is.
A baby can survive
at 25 weeks.
My mom came.
We ended up going to the doctor.
I don’t remember her
driving to the doctor.
I don’t remember us
walking in the doctor’s office.
I don’t remember being
in the doctor’s office, Sid.
The only thing I remember
is walking out
of the doctor’s office,
so I had to somehow
get in that doctor’s.
As we were walking out,
my mother was walking before me,
and my mother said, “I ought to
just leave and never come back,”
and at that time, at that point,
that even broke me even more.
That was just another
breaking of,
just tearing my,
ripping my heart out.
And she made the decision
to take me
to an abortion clinic
in Birmingham, Alabama.
I ended up having what
they call a saline abortion.
A saline abortion is where they
inject the woman in the womb,
and the saline, the solution,
it’s a salt solution
that goes into the womb,
into the abdomen,
and it, the baby, drinks that,
and it kills the baby,
burns the baby
from the inside out.
And I started having pains,
and my mom had to take me
to the hospital,
which was the Baptist Medical
Center Hospital in Birmingham.
They took me there.
Now, let me go back to
the Planned Parenthood clinic.
Planned Parenthood,
the clinic never told me
that it was a baby.
They told me
it was a blob of tissue.
So I give birth to a baby,
25-week baby.
I end up, the nurse was supposed
to close the curtain,
and she didn’t
close the curtain.
I happened to look over,
and in a jar was my baby,
and I lost it.
I commenced to screaming.
I commenced to, I was saying,
“I want my baby.”
And nurses, interns, doctors,
everything,
was just, everyone was
just coming around me,
trying to quiet me up.
“Be quiet! Shh, shh.”
And the doctor said,
“Close that curtain now,”
and the nurse
closed the curtain,
and she got in my face.
She said, “You shut up.
You’re going to be just fine,”
and when she said those words,
I went black because I guess
they must have gave me
something to knock me out,
and the next thing I remembered,
I’m in the back seat
of my mom’s car on the way back.
SR: And there’s a dark side,
many dark sides
of murdering children.
But there’s a dark side
most people don’t talk about.
There is a trauma
of the mother,
and some are totally aware
of it, and some live with it,
and they wonder why
they are the way they are.
But you can’t murder
your own child
without having a consequence.
What was yours?
DG: I lived with nightmares.
Sid, I would have nightmares
at night of babies
drowning in blood,
and I would try
to save these babies,
and I’d wake up with sweat.
I would have sweat all over me,
and I would just,
all of a sudden, the reality,
the reality of what I had done.
It was like, “That’s my baby.”
I ended up in the hospital
numerous times,
numerous times,
trying to commit suicide.
And I, and honestly,
I look back,
and I couldn’t even
do that right.
SR: But then at 24
she’s pregnant again.
DG: Yeah.
I end up meeting this guy,
and we’re friends.
I’m friends with his sister,
and we, one thing
led to the other,
and it went too far,
and next thing I know
I found out I’m pregnant.
And I wasn’t going
to tell my mom,
and I was sitting at the table
with her at her house,
and all of a sudden,
my mom looks at me,
and she said,
“You’re pregnant.”
And I thought, “How in
the world? How in the world?”
And she said,
“Mothers just know this,”
and so she said,
“Everything will be okay,”
and I thought, “Okay.”
So we went to bed,
got up the next morning,
and she said,
“Let’s go shopping.”
Under the pretense of going
shopping in Savannah, Georgia,
from Brunswick to Savannah,
we drive to Savannah,
and I’m not thinking
about anything.
I’m just sitting there,
just caught up
in what’s going to happen
with my life,
what I’m going to do,
what choices I’m going to make,
what, and we go,
and we pull up to this place,
and I’m still not
paying attention,
and I go to open the door.
When I open the door,
I saw the women inside,
and as I looked in the faces
of these women,
some of these women,
the look on their face,
it was like you knew
they were heartbroken.
And then I heard, and, Sid,
if it wasn’t an audible voice,
it might as well been.
But I heard a voice say, “Run.”
Well, let me just say, the devil
is not going to tell you
to run from
an abortion clinic.
SR: Of course.
DG: And I didn’t know
the voice of God
because I didn’t know
God at that time.
I didn’t even know
if He was real,
and so I stopped,
and I went ahead with it,
and the next thing I know
I’m on the table,
and I had, the second one
was a suction abortion,
and it’s where they use
a cranial tube,
and they, it’s like
a vacuum cleaner
that sucks the parts
of the baby are sucked in.
And I, as I laid there,
and they turned the machine on,
the moment they turned
the machine on,
I was like, “Turn it off.
Turn it off. Turn it off.”
And they didn’t
turn it off, Sid.
It was too late.
It was too late.
And so I thought,
“God, what have I done?
What have I done
to my babies?”
SR:
Now, you went to pastor,
and this pastor
had the good sense
to tell you you’re forgiven.
DG: Mm-hmm.
SR:
But you couldn’t accept it.
DG: I couldn’t accept it
because I, first of all,
didn’t know if He was even,
God was even real.
I couldn’t, growing up,
I grew up in a church
that didn’t believe in healing,
didn’t believe in miracles,
and I just thought,
“What in the world do I need?
So what can He do for me?”
And I had such shame
and such guilt,
and I was so plagued
by what I had done,
what I had allowed
that I didn’t speak up,
that I didn’t say,
“No, I don’t want to do this.”
Forgiveness was nowhere.
There was no way
that I could be forgiven.
That was my thought.
“There’s no way
I can be forgiven.”
SR: So what did you do with
all those hurts inside of you?
DG: Well, I buried them.
I basically buried them,
and like I said,
I was living to die.
I was on a road to destruction,
on a path to destruction.
SR: And then it happened again.
You got pregnant again.
DG: I did.
I was in love with the father,
and whenever I found out
I was pregnant and we talked,
and we were going
to get married.
We even went
and got blood tests
because you had to get
blood tests back
then so went
and got blood tests,
and I went to stay
with a friend,
and he went back to his house
and called him the next morning,
and his mother said,
“He don’t want to talk to you.”
SR: Oh.
DG: And I thought,
“Here we go again.”
I get myself in these positions,
and where is God?
People talk about God.
Where is He?
And so I ended up going to a,
some ladies at the church
that I was going
to mentioned PTL
and mentioned a girl’s home.
It’s a –
SR: So abortion wasn’t even
in your vocabulary then.
DG: No, no.
The pastor, actually a pastor,
another pastor,
he actually said,
“We’ll talk to your mom,
and we’ll let her know.
There’s only two choices.
It’s either you keep your baby
or you put your baby
up for adoption.
Abortion is not in the picture.”
And so I ended up going over
to a friend’s house,
and so I end up on the floor,
and I’m on my knees,
and I’m really just having
these thoughts in my head,
and I said, I said,
I said, “God,” I said,
“Look at the mess
that I’ve made.
So can You really, if
You’re real, can
You do anything?
Can
You do anything with this mess
that I’ve made of my life?”
And so I heard inside,
“Turn on the TV.”
And I thought,
“Mmm, that’s weird.
That’s not,”
and so I just ignored it,
and I all of a sudden
heard it again.
“Turn on,” and the remote
is next to me,
and all of a sudden,
I look down,
and the remote is there,
and I’m angry,
and I pick the remote up,
and I turn the TV on like that.
I said, and when the TV came on,
Tammy Faye Bakker,
Tammy Faye Bakker
was signing a song that says,
“He’ll take your mistakes
and turn them into a miracle.”
In that moment, I knew
that God was going to,
I knew that that was where
I was supposed to go.
And so I went to PTL,
and 1 day after my meeting
with my counselor,
I go back to my room,
and I’m on, I go back,
and I just sit.
I just lay prostrate
on my face before God,
and I just start crying.
And I’m crying, and I said,
“I don’t know whether
You’re real or not,
but if You are,
I need to know what
You want me to do.”
And all of a sudden,
I had a vision,
and in the vision,
I saw Jesus,
and I was walking towards Him,
and I had a baby.
I was carrying this baby,
and I was walking towards Him,
and I never once
took my eyes off of Him.
I just looked, and the moment
I caught eyes with Him,
His eyes, Sid,
was the most loving, caring –
SR: Not judgmental?
DG: Not judgmental.
He didn’t look at me like
I was trash
because the guy told me,
he said,
“You’re nothing but trash.
Nobody will ever want you,”
and when I saw those eyes,
they just pierced my heart,
and all of a sudden,
I handed the baby to Him,
and I looked at Him,
and I walked away, and
He smiled, and I smiled,
and I turned and walked away.
Well, when you have a vision,
sometimes,
I don’t know about you,
if you’ve ever had visions
or dreams,
you try to figure it out.
So you try to put
your little take.
So my little take was, is,
“I’m putting this baby
up for adoption.
That’s exactly,
I’m giving him to
or giving the baby to the Lord,
so I’m just putting him up
for adoption.”
I go to sleep that night,
and I wake up,
and I have a pass to go back
to Georgia to visit my mom.
My mother picked me up,
and we go to sleep that night.
We talk.
We talk about how the ride
was and some different things,
and we go to bed, and we get up,
and she wants to go
to breakfast,
and so she said,
“Let’s go to breakfast,”
and she said,
“But first I want to take you to
the furniture store
up around the corner from us.”
And she said,
“I got something to show you.”
And so I get to
the furniture store,
and we’re in
the furniture store,
and we’re looking around.
And as we’re looking around,
I’m just looking
at different furniture.
She said,
“Donna, come back here.”
And so I went back there,
and she’s
standing next to a crib,
and she goes,
“What do you think?”
And honestly, Sid, I thought
it was a trick question.
I honestly thought
it was a trick question,
and I looked at her,
and I didn’t know what to think,
and as I looked at her,
she looked at me,
and she said,
“Donna, God has told me
I’m to do whatever I can
to help you raise this baby,”
and that moment was
the beginning of not
only restoration in my life.
I had had that encounter
with Jesus,
and at that point, I realized,
first of all, I realized
Jesus was real.
He was real to me, and then
that moment with my mom,
I began to see the pieces.
I lived my life
feeling like there
was rubber bands around me,
just tight, so tight,
and I was so bound.
I was bound by guilt.
I was bound by shame.
I was bound by just all
the garbage the enemy would,
I was no good.
I was trash.
I was never going
to amount to anything.
Never, and at that moment,
He started breaking off
those pieces,
breaking off those rubber bands.
They just started snapping,
just started snapping.
SR: You needed,
and you can picture this.
She needed assurance
that her two babies
that were murdered in the womb
ended up in Heaven.
You can understand that.
God is so good. What happened?
DG: I was translated,
and I know the difference
between a vision,
translation and dreams.
And I happened to be
in Jacksonville, Florida,
with a small group of women,
and we were at just
a little place worshiping,
and I was on this couch.
And next thing I know,
I’m sitting on this park bench,
and I’m telling you, Sid,
this park bench was unlike
any park bench I’d ever seen.
There was gold.
I was so taken
with this park bench,
and then I happened
to look up,
and you can’t describe
the colors in Heaven.
Things are so beautiful,
but what I noticed
is a little girl
and a little boy.
They come running up to me,
and as they’re running up to me,
they climb up in my lap.
And as they climb up in my lap,
they start kissing me,
one on one cheek
and one on the other cheek,
and they start telling me,
“We love you, mommy.
We love you, mommy.
We love you.”
They said, “We forgive you.”
Or they said, first of all,
they said,
“We forgive you, mommy.
We forgive you, mommy.
We forgive you.”
Then they said, “We love you,
mommy. We love you, mommy.
We love you,” and they said,
“We’ll see you again!”
And then instantly
I was back on that couch.
SR: Those of you
that have had abortions,
those of you
that have had trauma,
those of you that are living
in shame or guilt or regret
for anything,
today is your day of freedom.
SR: Be right back.
[Applause]
[Music]
[Music]
>> Call now and get
Donna Grisham’s brand-new,
powerful book,
“Journeys of Choice,”
and her anointed two-part audio
CD set, “Destination: Freedom!”
This is an exclusive offer
for our “It’s Supernatural!”
audience,
yours for a donation of $29.
Shipping and handling
is included.
Ask for offer number 9791.
At 16 years old,
Donna Grisham was raped,
left violated,
broken and pregnant.
She had an abortion.
Her life quickly
became a downward
spiral of hopelessness and fear.
Donna has interwoven
a collection
of 15 different testimonies
in her book,
“Journeys of Choice,”
including her
own powerful story.
Each are uniquely
written to reveal
the extraordinary
power of choice.
You will understand
how choosing life versus death
not only affects the baby,
but it also impacts the father,
the mother,
the grandparents and siblings.
It affects
the next generation as well.
Receive an impartation of wisdom
on how to make
Godly decisions in the midst
of trauma and crisis.
Receive supernatural redemption
from a broken past.
Understand the power
of forgiveness.
Learn how to get set free
from regrets,
shame, sin, past abuse,
abandonment and addictions.
Understand how to walk again
in God’s divine promises
and plans for your life.
Anyone who has had an abortion
or is considering an abortion
or who knows someone who has had
an abortion must read this book.
You will also receive
Donna Grisham’s two-part audio
CD set, “Destination: Freedom!”
In her two-part audio CD series,
Donna will share
and impart the wisdom
and hope she has received
from the Word of God,
as well as minister
to your deep hurts,
pray for you and over you,
release supernatural freedom
into every area of your life,
speak God’s purpose
and plans over you.
Donna wants you to know
that you don’t have to live
in the regrets of past choices.
Don’t let the regrets of your
past determine your future.
Don’t miss out on getting
Donna Grisham’s brand-new,
powerful book,
“Journeys of Choice,”
and her anointed two-part audio
CD set, “Destination: Freedom!”
This is an exclusive offer
for our “It’s Supernatural!”
audience, yours for
a donation of $29.
Shipping and handling
is included.
Ask for offer number 9791.
Call, or you can send
your check to Sid Roth,
“It’s Supernatural!”
PO Box 39222, Charlotte,
North Carolina 28278.
Please specify offer number 9791
or log onto sidroth.org.
Call or write today!
[Music]
>> We now return
to “It’s Supernatural!”
[Applause]
SR: Donna, you say we don’t
have to live in regret,
but yet we’ve done
some horrible things.
We know we’re forgiven,
but why do you say
we don’t have to live in it?
DG: Because, Sid, it’s okay to
regret choices that we’ve made.
It’s okay to regret
some decisions that we’ve made,
but we don’t have to live
in that regret.
We don’t have to live
in the pain of our regrets.
I regret not standing up
and saying,
“No, I don’t want
to go through this.
I don’t want
to have an abortion.”
I regret my abortions.
But I’m not living
in that regret.
I’m not living in that pain.
I’ve been set free from that.
The scripture that just comes
to me is Romans 8:1,
“For there is therefore now no
condemnation,” no condemnation.
When you have, you talk about
an experiential knowledge.
When I had that experiential,
that moment with Jesus,
His love, that scripture to me,
nothing that the enemy
says to me I receive
because I know now exactly
what that scripture means.
That means whatever the Devil
is trying to condemn you of,
whatever the lie the Devil
is trying to tell you,
you don’t have to receive it.
He’s trying to condemn you,
and you have been,
God has freed you.
He freed you on the cross.
When Jesus went to the cross,
that choice you made
went to the cross with Him.
That decision you made,
the sin you’ve been in,
anything,
and God wants you to know
that you are not condemned.
He nailed those sins
to the cross.
Don’t let the regrets of your
past determine your future.
SR:
Say this prayer with me,
and open yourself up to
experiential knowledge of God.
Out loud, repeat after me.
Dear God.
DG: Dear God.
SR:
I’m a sinner.
DG:
I’m a sinner.
SR:
For which I’m so sorry.
DG: For which I’m so sorry.
SR: I believe.
DG: I believe.
SR:
The blood of Jesus.
DG: The blood of Jesus.
SR: Is enough.
DG: Is enough.
SR: To wash away
every bad thing I’ve ever done.
DG: To wash away
every bad thing I’ve done.
SR: And in God’s sight.
DG:
In God’s sight.
SR:
He remembers my sins no more.
Jesus, come live
inside of me.
I make you my Savior
and my Lord. Amen.