Bill Johnson and Dan Farrelly discuss humility, fighting on the same team, how to keep loving God passionately, and put Him first in your marriage.
so folks that are just newly married if
you could give him a couple of things to
you know remember like that are you
probably on doing much premarital
counseling anymore
and imagine thank you Jesus yeah but
what are like you know three or four
things you would just say to them like
hey remember this and hold on to this or
you know your humility is a big deal in
any relationship you know it’s not
having to be right goes a long ways in
valuing a person that you actually value
a person more than your opinion and that
helps a lot I give an illustration it’s
kind of a violent one but it gets the
point across I have a funny way to hear
it now yeah yeah I was shot I have a
friend who was deer hunting and he saw
this deer and he pulled his gun up to
shoot and he shot the deer but as he
shot he noticed the hunter on the other
side of the deer who was also shooting
the deer as it turned out he shot the
deer the other hunter shot him he
obviously lived because he lived to tell
me the story and anytime any couple
married couple faces a problem and
they’re not standing together they have
the chance of shooting each other mm-hm
and so I I try to get them to isolate
the problem as set another was she’s not
the problem he’s not the problem yeah
you’ve got a financial issue brings a
lot of tension isolate it separate from
the two of you and then together begin
to address it and that seems to help it
it helps me in my thinking how can we
address the situation so how can I fix
you you know exactly yeah yeah my goal
isn’t to change you to my goal is we’ve
got this added pressure or life it’s our
neighbors our finances it’s our relative
it’s their in-laws it’s you know
whatever it might be
in everyday homes and so together let’s
just see if we do we can just
acknowledge it and face it together and
give each other help and wisdom mm-hmm
so humility one of the ways that you
would advise newlyweds or I’m sure it
works all throughout marriage like so I
know it does because I yes yeah would
you say to folks
the you know the main thing is is
passionate practical love for God I mean
it really it really does you know if I
love God with all of my heart there’s
more love to love my wife with then if I
make her number one mm-hmm if I make her
number one it puts her in a in a in an
ugly position she she can’t fill but if
I if I really give myself to honor the
Lord then what I’m going to do is I’m my
decisions are really going to be for her
according to what God values mm-hmm and
you know that’s that’s what every wife
wants anyway it’s what every husband
wants anyways they want they want they
want to be valued authentically for who
they are not just for what I can make
you to become mm-hmm and this so that
just goes a long way when there’s that
kind of celebration in life and so I
think just loving loving God well in a
practical way where it affects the way I
think about people the way I celebrate
people the way I look to invest in
people you know the you know the men are
have historically had been quick to
point out wives be subject to the
husbands and they forget that they’ve
got the heavy mandate and that’s loving
like Jesus loved the church and he ended
up dying because it was love so that
sets a pretty high standard and it’s not
hard for a wives to take their place
when they’ve got a husband who dies for
them you know on a daily basis and
that’s really it’s it has to become
practical can’t be this theory it can’t
be just a point of doctrine it’s got to
be this is the way I live life yeah I
live life with you in mind
mm-hmm for your benefit you for your
where for for what you think is valuable
not what I think is valuable for you
yeah and so I I think that’s I think
that’s helpful I think is practical may
be said um it’s not hard for wives to
take their place by that you mean it’s
not hard for them have a stance of
respect and mutual respect or you know
there’s a lot of resistance to any kind
of influence even in homes Christian
homes sometimes of a man influencing the
wife because she wants to be this
independent person you know they’re
better as it
and there is a roll there is a there is
a way it works and if if the husband is
laying his life down on a daily basis
with affectionate and care and concern
for that person investing in them so
that they can become everything around
the woman are being crazy to not to not
be attracted to that
yes that’s it’s you know it’s it’s the
old story of the of the husband that
gave us his wife a list of what he
expected from her and she tried the
whole marriage and she could never
fulfill the list it was just
continuously frustrating years go by he
dies she gets remarried and she finds
this list with this new husband who
treats her like a queen as she reached
through the list she finds that she’s
doing everything on the list because of
love that she couldn’t do out of wall
mm-hmm
I mean it’s it’s a great it’s a great
illustration how this thing works yeah
no just love well it really is what it
comes down to a love well let it be
sacrificial let it be measurable mm-hmm
yeah look let it be humble yeah
and yeah that’s true yeah attack life
together yeah