Love, Joy and Self-Control (eeek!) | Joyce Meyer’s Talk It Out Podcast } Episode 70

We’re back for Part 2—with Joyce in the studio!—to unpack even more practical tips to help you level up in your life. Don’t miss this one, beautiful!

JOYCE: THE REASON WHY
WE CAN THANK GOD FOR THINGS

IS BECAUSE WE DO BELIEVE
THAT GOD CAN WORK SOMETHING

GOOD OUT OF THEM, AND HE CAN
WORK SOMETHING GOOD IN US.

YOU JUST CANNOT BECOME
WHAT GOD WANTS YOU TO BE,

IF EVERYTHING IN YOUR
LIFE IS CUSHY.

[MUSIC]

GINGER: HI FRIENDS.

WELCOME TO JOYCE MEYER’S
TALK IT OUT PODCAST.

WHERE JOYCE TEACHES THE WORD
OF GOD IN HER PRACTICAL,

NO-NONSENSE WAY.

AND MY FRIENDS AND I,
TALK ABOUT THE REAL

STUFF OF LIVING IT,
AND WE HOLD NOTHING BACK.

I’M GINGER STACHE,
WITH ERIN CLULEY AND JAI,

THREE FRIENDS,
WHO ARE ALL IN VERY

DIFFERENT STAGES OF LIFE,
BUT KNOW THE IMPORTANCE

OF HAVING HONEST,
LOVING WOMEN AROUND YOU.

AND WHEN WE NEED
A LITTLE EXTRA HELP,

OUR WONDERFUL FRIEND,
MS. JOYCE, IS HERE,

LIKE SHE IS TODAY,
TO WALK US THROUGH.

JOYCE: THEY ARE NEEDING
MORE AND MORE HELP.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

GINGER: YES, IT’S TRUE.

THERE IS NO DENYING.

YEAH, PRETTY SOON
IT’S GONNA BE LIKE

AN EVERYDAY OCCURRENCE.

JOYCE: RIGHT NOW,
IT’S ONCE A MONTH, SO.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

GINGER: SO, CONSIDER
YOURSELF ONE OF THE GIRLS,

COME ON IN HERE,
AND LET’S TALK IT OUT.

LAST WEEK, WE STARTED
BY THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT–

BEGINNING WITH TALKING
ABOUT THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT.

AND THAT IS ALL ABOUT WHAT
GOD’S SPIRIT GIVES US,

BUT WE ARE RESPONSIBLE
TO HELP CULTIVATE IT,

AND MAKE IT GROW IN OUR LIFE.

JOYCE, WE HIT SOME REALLY GOOD
STUFF LAST WEEK AND YOU’RE

GONNA HELP US FINISH A LONG
LIST OF ALL THE REST.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JOYCE: I STARTED–
I TOLD YOU EARLIER,

THERE’S NO WAY WE’RE
GONNA GET TO ALL OF THOSE.

GINGER: LAST WEEK,
IF YOU MISSED IT, WE TALKED

ABOUT PEACE, PATIENCE,
AND HUMILITY.

AND IT, HONESTLY,
IT WAS KIND OF OUCHIE.

ERIN: IT WAS PAINFUL.

GINGER: A LITTLE PAINFUL.

BUT JAI, JUST FOR YOU…

JAI: I SEE.

GINGER: WE’VE GOT SOME
GUACAMOLE AND CHIPS.

JAI: I SEE WE’VE
GOT GUACAMOLE.

GINGER: ‘CUZ SHE TALKED
ABOUT BEING AN AVOCADO.

THAT’S HER FRUIT.

JOYCE: OH.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JOYCE: SO, WE HAVE SIX
FRUIT LEFT, AND I CAN

PROMISE YOU WE’RE NOT
GOING TO GET TO ALL OF THEM.

GINGER: WE DO.

WE HAVE LOVE, JOY, KINDNESS,
GOODNESS, FAITHFULNESS,

AND–EEEK, SELF-CONTROL.

JOYCE: WELL,
I HAVE SOMETHING FUNNY

WE WANT TO SHOW THE PEOPLE.

MY YOUNGEST GRANDSON–
I HAVE 12 GRANDCHILDREN.

AND MY YOUNGEST ONE,
A LITTLE OVER TWO YEARS OLD,

HIS MOTHER’S TEACHING HIM,
THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT.

AND YOU HAVE TO LOOK AT THIS,
AND SEE WHAT HE SAID.

FEMALE: CAN WE SAY
THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT?

LOVE.

BOY: SELF-CONTROL.

FEMALE: JOY.

BOY: SELF-CONTROL.

FEMALE: PEACE.

BOY: SELF-CONTROL.

FEMALE: PATIENCE.

BOY: SELF-CONTROL.

FEMALE: KINDNESS.

BOY: SELF-CONTROL.

FEMALE: GOODNESS.

BOY: SELF-CONTROL.

FEMALE: GENTLENESS.

BOY: SELF-CONTROL.

FEMALE: FAITHFULNESS.

BOY: FAITHFULNESS.

FEMALE: AND SELF-CONTROL
[LAUGHS].

JOYCE: I THINK
THAT’S HILARIOUS.

EVERY ONE OF ‘EM
WAS SELF-CONTROL

TILL HE GOT TO SELF-CONTROL,
AND THEN HE WOULDN’T

SAY ANYTHING.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

GINGER: ISN’T THAT THE WAY
IT IS WITH SELF-CONTROL.

JAI: WHEN YOU
ACTUALLY HAVE TO USE IT,

THEN IT’S LIKE, “NAAA.”
ERIN: I’LL TELL YOU

ALL ABOUT IT.

JAI: I’LL TALK ABOUT IT.

JOYCE: I THOUGHT IT WAS
FUNNY, AT TWO AND A HALF,

HE ALREADY KNOWS, EVERY ONE
OF ‘EM TAKES SELF-CONTROL.

JAI: YEAH, THAT’S VERY TRUE.

GINGER: THAT IS SO FUN.

I LOVE TO SEE THE WAY CHILDREN
ASSIMILATE THESE THINGS.

‘CUZ THEY REALLY PICK
UP ON A LOT OF STUFF,

BUT THAT LITTLE TWIST
IS ALWAYS VERY FUN.

AND IF I WAS GOING TO TALK
ABOUT THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT,

I MIGHT DO THE OPPOSITE,
AND JUST LEAVE OUT SELF-CONTROL.

ERIN: PRETEND IT DOESN’T
LIST–NOT PART OF THE LIST.

GINGER: IT IS PRETTY
IMPORTANT THOUGH.

YOU TALKED BEFORE, JOYCE,
ABOUT HOW THAT THE BOOKENDS

OF LOVE AND SELF-CONTROL…

JOYCE: I WAS GONNA
MENTION THAT.

LIKE, YOU START–AND, I THINK,
ALL OF THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT

COMES OUT OF LOVE.

I MEAN, YOU’RE NOT GONNA
DO ANY OF THE REST OF ‘EM,

IF YOU DON’T LOVE.

BUT THEN, SELF-CONTROL,
THE LAST ONE, IS LIKE,

WHAT HOLDS ‘EM ALL IN PLACE.

IT LIKE, SOMETIMES,
LOVE TELLS ME TO BE KIND,

BUT I’VE USED SELF-CONTROL
TO BE KIND.

AND LOVE ALWAYS TELLS US
TO BE HUMBLE, BUT WE SURE

NEED SELF-CONTROL FOR THAT.

AND SO–
JAI: THE BABY’S GOT IT RIGHT.

JOYCE: I CONSIDER THE TWO
OF THEM TO BE, TWO THAT

WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT A LOT.

BECAUSE REALLY,
THE REST OF THEM–

IF YOU’VE GOT THE LOVE
AND THE SELF-CONTROL,

AND YOU HAVE A DESIRE
TO DO THE REST OF THEM,

IT’S PRETTY EASY.

GINGER: LET ME ASK
YOU THIS QUESTION,

BECAUSE A LOT OF PEOPLE TALK
ABOUT THE GIFTS OF THE SPIRIT.

YOU KNOW, WE ALL EITHER
WANT THE GIFTS, OR WE’RE

AFRAID OF THE GIFTS BECAUSE
WE DON’T UNDERSTAND THEM,

WHATEVER THAT MIGHT BE.

BUT I THINK IT’S REALLY
IMPORTANT TO DISTINGUISH

BETWEEN THE TWO.

SO, WE’RE GONNA START,
RIGHT NOW, WITH A LITTLE CLIP

FROM YOUR TEACHING THAT JUST
HELPS EXPLAIN THIS SO WELL,

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
THE GIFTS AND THE FRUIT.

TAKE A LISTEN.

JOYCE: IN GOD’S KINGDOM,
WE ARE NOT KNOWN OR APPLAUDED

BY THE GIFTS THAT GOD GIVES US,
BUT WHAT GOD LOOKS FOR IS FRUIT.

HE LOOKS FOR CHARACTER.

HE SAYS YOU WILL KNOW THEM
BY THEIR FRUIT.

THE WORLD ADMIRERS GIFTS.

BOY, IF YOU CAN DO SOMETHING
THAT THE WORLD THINK IS GREAT,

YOU’RE IN.

BUT GOD ADMIRES CHARACTER.

GIFTS ARE EASY, THEY’RE GIVEN.

WE’RE NOT BETTER
THAN ONE ANOTHER BECAUSE

WE CAN DO SOMETHING
THAT SOMEONE ELSE CAN’T DO.

WE MUST LEARN TO LIVE DEEPER.

“EITHER MAKE THE TREE SOUND
(HEALTHY AND GOOD), AND ITS

FRUIT SOUND (HEALTHY AND GOOD),
OR MAKE THE TREE ROTTEN

(DISEASED AND BAD), AND ITS
FRUIT ROTTEN (DISEASED AND BAD);

FOR THE TREE IS KNOWN
AND RECOGNIZED AND JUDGED

BY ITS FRUIT–”
FRUIT.

WE NEED TO LEARN HOW
TO BE FRUIT INSPECTORS.

WE NEED TO LIVE DEEPER.

WE NEED TO LOOK DEEPER,
AT THE PEOPLE’S LIVES THAT

WE’RE AROUND AND THE PEOPLE
THAT WE GET HOOKED UP WITH.

YOU KNOW, A PEACH TREE–
YOU KNOW THAT A PEACH TREE

IS A PEACH TREE BECAUSE
IT BEARS PEACHES, RIGHT?

A PEACH TREE DOESN’T GO AROUND
WITH A MEGAPHONE YELLING,

“I’M A PEACH TREE.

I’M A PEACH TREE.

YO, LOOK AT ME.

I’M A PEACH TREE.”
“YEAH, WELL, WHERE’S YOUR

PEACHES?”

[AUDIENCE LAUGHING]

JOYCE: WELL, THAT’S WHAT
HAPPENS WITH CHRISTIANS.

“OH, I’M A CHRISTIAN.

I SAY HALLELUJAH,
PRAISE THE LORD.

THANK YOU, JESUS.

I CAST OUT DEVILS.

WHOA-HO.

I’M A CHRISTIAN.”
YEAH, WELL, WHERE’S YOUR FRUIT?

YOU’RE KNOWN BY YOUR FRUIT.

ARE YOU HELPING ANYBODY?

ARE YOU PATIENT?

ARE YOU LOVING PEOPLE?

ARE YOU A GIVER?

ARE YOU QUICK TO APOLOGIZE?

ARE YOU GENTLE?

ARE YOU FAITHFUL?

ARE YOU STICKING WITH SOMETHING
AND REFUSING TO GIVE UP

ON ANYTHING?

HOW DO YOU TREAT PEOPLE?

THOSE ARE THE THINGS THAT
ARE IMPORTANT TO GOD.

SOMEBODY SAY, AMEN.

AUDIENCE: AMEN.

GINGER: AMEN.

JOYCE: AMEN.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

GINGER: I LOVE THAT YOU
WENT DEEPER WITH THE FRUIT

OF THE SPIRIT BECAUSE IT’S EASY
TO RUN THROUGH THEM: LOVE,

JOY, PEACE, PATIENCE,
KINDNESS, AND JUST

KIND OF GLOSS OVER THEM.

BUT YOU GOT INTO FORGIVENESS.

I MEAN, THE THINGS THAT
COME OUT OF THE FRUIT ARE

THE THINGS THAT WE HAVE TO DO.

SO, WHEN YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT
LIVING DEEPER, I THINK THAT’S

SO IMPORTANT, AND NOT JUST
SEEKING AFTER THOSE GIFTS,

BUT BEING WHO HE WANTS US TO BE.

JOYCE: I WENT
THROUGH A PHASE–

I WAS IN THE CHURCH WHEN
THERE WAS A PHASE

GOING THROUGH ABOUT
THE GIFTS OF THE SPIRIT.

AND EVERYBODY WANTED
TO KNOW WHAT THEIR GIFT WAS.

“WHAT’S YOUR GIFT?

WHAT’S MY GIFT?

LET’S COMPARE GIFTS.”
AND GOD JUST BEGAN TO SHOW

ME THAT IT’S–
YOU DON’T KNOW PEOPLE

BY THEIR GIFTS.

I MEAN, MY GIFT TO TEACH
AND PREACH IS A GIFT

THAT GOD GAVE ME.

YOU KNOW, SO IF YOU READ
IN ROMANS 12, IT SAYS,

“DON’T THINK MORE HIGHLY
OF YOURSELF THAN YOU OUGHT TO.”

AND IT TALKS ABOUT THE GIFTS.

AND SO, WE HAVE TO REALIZE
THAT, YOU KNOW, JAI SINGS,

I PREACH, GINGER HAS A LOT
OF CREATIVE GIFTS, ERIN HAS

A LOT OF CREATIVE GIFTS.

WE DON’T ALL HAVE
THE SAME GIFTS,

BUT THEY’RE NOT OUR GIFTS.

THEY’RE REALLY GIFTS
THAT GOD HAS GIVEN US.

SO, WE DON’T NEED TO COMPARE
OURSELVES WITH ONE ANOTHER.

YES, WE WANT TO USE OUR GIFTS.

BUT GIFTS ARE GIVEN,
FRUIT IS NOT GIVEN.

THE SEED OF FRUIT IS GIVEN,
BUT IT HAS TO GROW.

AND LIKE, FOR EXAMPLE,
HUMILITY IS A FRUIT THAT

ONLY GROWS UNDER TRIAL.

YOU CAN’T–
ERIN: THAT’S THE TRUTH.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JOYCE: I’M SORRY,
I HAD IT WRONG, PATIENCE.

PATIENCE–IT COMES FROM
A GREEK WORD, THAT SAYS

AS YOU–IT ONLY GROWS
UNDER TRIAL.

AND THAT’S WHY PEOPLE DON’T
EVER WANT TO PRAY FOR PATIENCE.

BECAUSE THEY KNOW
IF THEY PRAY FOR PATIENCE,

YOU’LL GET A PROBLEM THAT
YOU HAVE TO SOLVE.

GINGER: I ACTUALLY, HAD THAT,
ON THE WAY HERE, TODAY.

WHY IS THAT, THAT THE WHENEVER
WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING,

WE’RE GOING TO START GETTING
TEMPTED OR TRIED OR JUST TO–

JUST GOD SAYING, “ARE YOU
ACTUALLY GONNA DO THIS

OR YOU JUST GOING TO TALK
ABOUT IT TO SOMEBODY ELSE?”

SO, I HAD TWO PEOPLE PULL
OUT IN FRONT OF ME TODAY,

ON MY WAY TO WORK, SO HARD THAT
I HAD TO SLAM ON THE BRAKES.

EVERYTHING WENT FLYING
TO THE FRONT OF THE CAR.

YOU KNOW, THE FIRST TIME,
YOU’RE LIKE, “OKAY,

THANK YOU, GOD.”
THE SECOND TIME YOU’RE LIKE,

“WHAT IS GOING ON?”
AND SO, TRYING THAT PATIENCE,

I’LL TELL YOU,
AND I’LL BE HONEST, I DID NOT

PASS WITH FLYING COLORS.

JOYCE: YOU DIDN’T PASS?

DO WE HAVE TO GO BACK
AND TALK ABOUT PATIENCE AGAIN?

GINGER: WELL,
I’LL JUST KEEP WORKING ON IT,

PERSONALLY, ‘CUZ IT’S SUCH
A BIG THING.

JOYCE: I THINK ALL OF US,
WILL WORK ON ALL OF THEM

AT DIFFERENT TIMES IN OUR LIFE.

ERIN: I THOUGHT
IT WAS SO INTERESTING,

WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT THAT,
HOW THE FRUIT IS WHAT

IS MOST IMPORTANT, THAT’S WHAT
WE NEED TO FOCUS ON.

WHEN YOU LOOK AT SCRIPTURES,
THAT’S WHAT JESUS

IS TEACHING US TO DO.

HE’S NOT TELLING ME, “HERE ERIN,
HERE IS HOW YOU BE A MORE

CREATIVE PERSON AT YOUR JOB.”
HE CARES.

AND I CAN FIND SCRIPTURE
TO HELP ME BE A LEADER.

BUT HE CARES MORE ABOUT
THE FRUIT IN MY LIFE,

AND TEACHING ME TO BE A PERSON
AFTER HIS OWN HEART,

NOT HERE’S HOW TO DO YOUR JOB.

JAI: I THINK IT’S SO POWERFUL
HOW YOU JUST TALKED ABOUT,

LIKE–I’VE HEARD THIS
ALL MY LIFE ABOUT GIFTS

COME WITHOUT REPENTANCE.

LIKE YOU CAN GET A GIFT,
LIKE, WHOMEVER.

‘CUZ YOU KNOW, YOU SEE PEOPLE
THAT YOU KNOW, ARE DOING

AWFUL THINGS IN THE WORLD,
AND THEY’RE JUST

SO GIFTED TO DO CERTAIN–
IT’S LIKE, “HOW DID THEY–”

BUT YOU HAVE TO REMIND
YOURSELF LIKE, YOU KNOW,

“HOW DID THEY GET
TO DO IT LIKE THAT?”

LIKE, YOU KNOW,
“AND I’M LIKE THIS.”

AND SO, NOT COMPARING THE GIFTS.

BUT ALSO, UNDERSTANDING
THAT THE GIFT IS THAT.

IT’S THE ACTUAL WORD.

IT’S A GIFT.

IT WAS GIVEN FROM GOD.

BUT THE FACT THE FRUIT
IS TO CULTIVATE THAT,

THAT IS REALLY OUR
RESPONSIBILITY.

IT’S REALLY OUR
RESPONSIBILITY TO–REALLY DO

THAT AND PRACTICE THAT–
THOSE BOOKENDS OF LOVE

AND SELF-CONTROL.

JOYCE: A LOT OF TIMES,
IF YOU NOTICE THOUGH,

PEOPLE WHO HAVE REAL
STRONG GIFTS THAT PUT

THEM IN THE PUBLIC EYE,
IF THEY DON’T HAVE FRUIT,

IF THEY DON’T TREAT PEOPLE GOOD,
MANY, MANY TIMES

THEY END UP FAILING,
AND THEIR LIVES FALL APART.

GINGER: VERY PUBLICLY.

JOYCE: AND I KNOW GOD–
GOD SPOKE TO ME,

WHEN MY MINISTRY STARTED
GETTING BIGGER, AND I WAS ON TV,

AND WE WERE HAVING THOUSANDS
OF PEOPLE COME TO THE MEETINGS.

AND HE SAID, “I WANT YOU
TO ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT

HOWEVER MANY PEOPLE YOU
CAN HELP, THAT’S EXACTLY

HOW MANY YOU CAN HURT.”
AND SO, YOU KNOW, THE MORE

PEOPLE YOU’RE IN FRONT OF,
THE MORE RESPONSIBILITY

YOU HAVE TO MAKE SURE
THAT YOU’RE LIVING THE LIFE,

NOT JUST TELLING OTHER PEOPLE
HOW TO LIVE THE LIFE.

I WROTE A BOOK RECENTLY CALLED,
“LOVING PEOPLE THAT

ARE HARD TO LOVE.”
A COUPLE WEEKS AGO,

I HAD AN OCCASION TO GET REALLY
MAD AT SOMEBODY, AND I WAS

MAD FOR MAYBE, THREE HOURS,
AND THEN, I REMEMBERED MY BOOK.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

ERIN: YOU HAVE A LOT
TO HELP YOU WITH THAT.

GINGER: “I WROTE A BOOK
ABOUT THAT.”

JOYCE: OH, YES,
I HAVE TO FORGIVE.

AND YOU KNOW,
IF YOU TALK ABOUT–

THIS IS WHAT I THINK,
I THINK THAT LOVE REALLY

IS HOW YOU TREAT PEOPLE.

IT’S GIVING, IT’S KINDNESS,
IT’S GENTLENESS, IT’S HUMILITY,

IT’S REALLY ALL THE REST
OF THE SPIRIT.

SO, I TALK ABOUT ‘EM,
LIKE, BOOKENDS.

ALL THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT
COME OUT OF LOVE,

BUT THEY’RE HELD IN PLACE
BY SELF-CONTROL.

YOU KNOW, LOVE WOULD
REQUIRE ME TO BE HUMBLE.

BUT IF I DON’T FEEL LIKE
BEING HUMBLE THEN I NEED

SELF-CONTROL, TO DO WHAT
I FEEL–AND I REALLY WOULD

LOVE TO SEE PEOPLE STUDY
THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT MORE,

BECAUSE I THINK IT IS EXTREMELY
IMPORTANT TO ME.

WHEN JESUS SAID, “YOU WILL
KNOW THEM BY THEIR FRUIT.”

I MEAN, WE’RE THE ONLY JESUS
THAT PEOPLE ARE GONNA SEE.

ERIN: I THINK, WHEN–
IN YOUR CLIP, YOU SAID THIS,

AND THEN SAYING THAT AGAIN,
I THINK ONE THING

THAT STANDS OUT TO ME IS,
THIS IS WHERE WE, AS CHRISTIANS,

ARE NOT DOING OUR JOB,
IN THE WORLD, RIGHT NOW.

BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE
SO ANGRY AND UPSET,

AND THINGS ARE SO POLARIZED.

AND THERE’S–
YOU ARE NOT SEEING

CHRISTIANS ACT BY THEIR FRUIT.

WE ARE JUST AS GUILTY
OF NAME-CALLING

AND TREATING PEOPLE POORLY.

BUT IF WE WERE TO DO WHAT
CHRIST HAS CALLED US TO DO,

AS THE BODY OF CHRIST,
AND ACT LIKE THE FRUIT,

WHAT WOULD OUR WORLD
LOOK LIKE RIGHT NOW?

THAT DOESN’T MEAN THE HEART
ISSUES ARE GONNA GO AWAY.

BUT WOW, WE COULD HAVE SOME
REALLY GOOD CONVERSATIONS

AND BE–SHOW PEOPLE JESUS.

JOYCE: ACTUALLY, IF WE WOULD
HAVE BEEN ACTING LIKE WE SHOULD

HAVE ALL ALONG, WE PROBABLY
WOULDN’T HAVE THE SITUATIONS…

JAI: YEAH.

ERIN: THAT’S TRUE.

THAT’S GOOD.

JOYCE: THAT WE HAVE
IN THE WORLD, RIGHT NOW.

AND THAT’S ALWAYS BEEN
MY PET PEEVE, I GUESS.

GOD HAS REALLY CALLED
ME TO HELP PEOPLE,

NOT JUST KNOW CHRIST
AND BE BORN AGAIN,

BUT TO LIVE THE LIFE THAT
HE WANTS THEM TO LIVE.

AND THAT REQUIRES
SPIRITUAL MATURITY,

AND SPIRITUAL MATURITY
REQUIRES SELF-CONTROL,

AND THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT
IS A BIG PART OF THAT.

“YOU WILL KNOW THEM
BY THEIR FRUIT.”

YOU KNOW, WE ARE GOD’S
REPRESENTATIVES.

THE BIBLE SAYS THAT
“HE MAKES HIS APPEAL

TO THE WORLD THROUGH US.”
I THINK,

IT’S 2 CORINTHIANS 5:20.

SO, JUST THINK ABOUT THAT.

HE’S MAKING HIS APPEAL
TO THE WORLD THROUGH US.

AND SO, I LOVE IT, WHEN I DON’T
EVEN HAVE TO ASK SOMEBODY

IF THEY’RE A CHRISTIAN.

IF I CAN TELL THEY ARE,
BY THEIR BEHAVIOR.

GINGER: AND THAT REALLY
DOES START WITH LOVE,

JOYCE: IT DOES.

GINGER: LIKE YOU SAID,
IT KIND OF IS ALL OF THOSE

OTHER THINGS ROLLED
UP INTO WHAT LOVE IS.

AND I’M SO GRATEFUL THAT
THE BIBLE DESCRIBES

ALL THESE THINGS FOR US,
AND EQUIPS US IN A WAY,

IF WE CHOOSE TO USE IT.

LIKE THE LOVE CHAPTER,
1 CORINTHIANS 13 TALKS ABOUT

THE FACT THAT “LOVE IS PATIENT.

LOVE IS KIND.”
IT TAKES ALL THOSE OTHER

FRUITS OF THE SPIRIT, AND LOVE
IS THE FOUNDATION OF ALL OF IT.

SO, LET ME ASK YOU ALL THIS.

WHEN LOVE IS HARD
TO FIND IN YOUR LIFE,

WHEN LOVE IS HARD TO COME BY,
HOW DO YOU STIR IT UP?

WHAT DO YOU GUYS DO?

JOYCE: WELL, I’VE STUDIED
IT SO MUCH NOW, BECAUSE

I DID THINGS WRONG FOR A LOT
OF YEARS, AND I WAS AN UNHAPPY

CHRISTIAN, AND CHRISTIANS
SHOULD NOT BE UNHAPPY.

WE SHOULD
BE THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE,

THE MOST CONTENT PEOPLE
ON THE FACE OF THE EARTH.

AND I WAS NOT CONTENT,
AND I WAS NOT HAPPY.

AND IT’S INTERESTING,
IF YOU REALLY ASK GOD

A QUESTION, IF YOU’RE–
IF YOU REALLY WANT THE ANSWER,

HE’LL GIVE YOU ONE.

AND I ASKED THE LORD ONE DAY,
“WHY AM I SO UNHAPPY?”

AND HE SAID, “YOU’RE SELFISH.”
AND YOU KNOW,

LOVE IS NOT SELF-SEEKING.

LOVE IS ALL ABOUT TRUSTING
GOD, TO TAKE CARE OF YOU,

WHILE YOU TAKE CARE
OF OTHER PEOPLE.

SO, I STUDIED LOVE SO MUCH
THAT I–IT’S BEEN A PRIORITY

FOR ME FOR A LONG, LONG TIME.

AND THAT DOESN’T MEAN THAT
I ALWAYS HIT IT, ONE HUNDRED

PERCENT, BUT I KNOW–
I THINK YOU HAVE TO KNOW

THE IMPORTANCE OF IT.

AND IF YOU REALLY KNOW
THE IMPORTANCE OF ANYTHING,

YOU’RE MORE LIKELY TO DO IT,
WHETHER YOU FEEL LIKE

IT OR NOT, THAN IF YOU JUST–
IF IT’S JUST A, YOU KNOW,

“WE LOVE EVERYTHING.

WE LOVE ICE CREAM.

WE LOVE GOD.

WE LOVE CHURCH.

WE LOVE OUR SHOES,” YOU KNOW.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JOYCE: BUT THERE’S
A DIFFERENCE IN THE AGAPE LOVE.

HE’S CALLING US TO LOVE,
AS HE LOVES.

AND EVERY ONE OF THOSE FRUIT,
WE SEE IN GOD’S CHARACTER.

HE’S KIND, HE’S GENTLE,
YOU KNOW, HE’S FORGIV–ALL THOSE

THINGS THAT LOVE IS.

SO, HE’S NOT ASKING
US TO DO ANYTHING THAT

JESUS DIDN’T COME AND DO.

AND NOT ONLY THAT,
HE HELPS US DO IT,

IF WE CRY OUT TO HIM.

YOU KNOW, WHEN I HAD
THAT THING HAPPEN, A COUPLE

OF WEEKS AGO, IT WAS LIKE,
BECAUSE I KNOW NOW,

HOW IMPORTANT IT IS TO FORGIVE–
I MEAN, I KNOW IT.

I’VE TAUGHT ON IT SO MUCH,
PREACHED ON IT SO MUCH,

STUDIED IT SO MUCH,
WROTE SO MANY BOOKS ON IT,

READ BOOKS SO MANY BOOKS ON IT.

IT’S LIKE, REALLY, THE WORD
OF GOD WILL SAVE YOU.

IT SAYS IN JAMES THAT,
“THE WORD OF GOD WILL

SAVE YOUR SOUL.”
AND THE WORD OF GOD WILL

CHANGE YOU AND IT WILL SAVE
YOU, BUT IT’S NOT–

YOU CAN’T JUST HEAR IT FOR
20 MINUTES ON SUNDAY MORNING.

YOU HAVE TO BE A DILIGENT
STUDENT OF THE WORD OF GOD.

I’M WORKING ON A LITTLE PROJECT,
RIGHT NOW, CALLED,

“40 THINGS THE WORD OF GOD
DOES FOR YOU,” AND IT’S AMAZING.

BUT IT CAN’T–
YOU HAVE TO KNOW

IT BY REVELATION,
AND YOU HAVE TO LEARN

TO MEDITATE ON THE WORD OF GOD.

AND SO–AND I JUST PRAY THAT
PEOPLE WOULD UNDERSTAND THAT.

THAT IF YOU WOULD TAKE
30 MINUTES, DILIGENTLY,

EVERY DAY AND STUDY THE WORD.

AND THEN, MAYBE, ANOTHER
30 MINUTES THROUGHOUT THE DAY,

MEDITATING ON THE WORD.

AND MEDITATE JUST MEANS
TO ROLL OVER, AND OVER,

IN YOUR MIND.

AND I TELL PEOPLE,
“IF YOU KNOW HOW TO WORRY,

YOU KNOW HOW TO MEDITATE.”
ONLY YOU MEDITATE

ON THE WORD OF GOD.

WELL, LIKE, PHILIPPIANS 4:6,
IS MY GO-TO PLACE WHEN

I GET ANXIOUS OR WORRIED.

IMMEDIATELY, I’LL START
MEDITATING ON THAT SCRIPTURE.

AND SO, I THINK, IF PEOPLE ARE
FINDING IT HARD TO DO,

THEY NEED TO EITHER
GET THEIR BIBLE OUT,

LOOK UP THE SCRIPTURES,
IF THEY DON’T KNOW ‘EM,

OR IF THEY’VE STUDIED IT ENOUGH,
THEY WILL KNOW THEM.

AND THEY’LL–
THE HOLY SPIRIT BRINGS

‘EM TO YOUR MIND,
IT’S LIKE THEY POP-UP

WHEN YOU NEED ‘EM.

GINGER: I DID WHAT YOU SAID,
TOO, AND I THINK

IT’S SO IMPORTANT IS,
WHEN WE’RE MISSING SOMETHING

IN PARTICULAR IN OUR LIFE,
TO STUDY IT IN THE BIBLE,

TO LOOK FOR IT,
AND TO ASK GOD FOR MORE OF IT.

AND I REMEMBER A TIME WHERE–
YOU KNOW HOW THE WORLD IS,

AND I JUST WASN’T SEEING
A LOT OF LOVE AROUND ME.

AND I WAS SAYING,
“GOD,” YOU KNOW,

“WHERE IS ALL THE LOVE THAT
YOU’RE FILLING THE WORLD WITH.”

AND I REMEMBER VERY CLEARLY,
LIKE YOU DID, I REMEMBER

JUST THIS FEELING OF,
YOU START SHARING MORE OF IT,

AND YOU’LL FIND MORE
OF IT AROUND YOU.

AND IT COMES DOWN SO MUCH TO,
WHAT WE DO IN OUR OWN LIFE,

WHEN WE’RE LOOKING FOR
IT OUTSIDE OF OURSELVES,

GOD WANTS TO START IN US.

JAI: YEAH, I’VE NOTICED
WHENEVER I’M FEELING

LIKE I’M NOT RECEIVING IT,
OR IF I’M FEELING LIKE I’M NOT

REALLY GIVING IT OUT,
I IMMEDIATELY,

GO TO THE FACT THAT, SOMEHOW,
I’M DISCONNECTED FROM HIM.

LIKE, THERE’S A DISCONNECTION.

BECAUSE I USUALLY STOP AND LIKE,
REFLECT ON THE FACT

THAT GOD IS LOVE.

LIKE, IT’S THAT SIMPLE,
LIKE, GOD IS LOVE.

AND IF I’M FEELING
ANY LACK IN MYSELF,

OR IF I’M FEELING LIKE,
“NOBODY LOVES ME,” OR, YOU KNOW,

LIKE, OR “I’M NOT–
I DON’T LIKE ANYBODY.”

LIKE, HONESTLY, YOU KNOW,
LIKE, THEN, I’M LIKE,

“I’M–I–I’M NOT
CONNECTED TO GOD.

I’M NOT CONNECTED
TO HIM LIKE I NEED TO.”

SO, I WILL LIKE, PULL BACK,
SI–YOU KNOW, MEDITATE

ON THE SCRIPTURE, MEDITATE
ON HIS LOVE, AND ASK HIM SIMPLY,

JUST TO FILL ME UP.

GINGER: DON’T YOU THINK
JOY IS THE SAME WAY…

JAI: YEAH.

GINGER: AS ONE
OF THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT.

WHEN WE DON’T HAVE JOY,
IT’S EXACTLY WHAT YOU SAID ALSO,

WE NEED TO RECONNECT WITH HIM.

JAI: IT’S A DISCONNECTION
BECAUSE, LIKE, ALL OF THE FRUIT

ARE–THEY’RE HIM.

IT’S HIM.

AND IF I’M LACKING
IN ANY OF ‘EM, IT MEANS

THAT I AM LACKING HIM.

AND, THAT’S THE HARSH REALITY.

IS LIKE, NO MATTER HOW MUCH,
I TOTE AROUND,

“I’M A CHRISTIAN–”
WHICH, HONESTLY, THESE DAYS,

WHAT I’M FINDING OUT,
WITH A LOT OF PEOPLE

THAT I’VE BEEN INTERACTING
WITH, AFTER GOING THROUGH

THIS PAST SEASON OF MY LIFE–
BECAUSE I’VE BEEN VERY DIFFERENT

WITH HOW I’VE APPROACHED PEOPLE.

LIKE, I’M WAY LESS JUDGMENTAL,
I’M WAY LESS…

I’M WAY LESS JESUS-PUSHING,
YOU KNOW, I’M WAY LESS THAT.

AND I REALLY WANT
THE FRUIT TO SHOW.

LIKE–AND SO, A LOT OF THAT
MEANS, I’VE SHUT UP A LOT.

LIKE, I DON’T SAY MUCHA NUTHIN.’
BUT I LET PEOPLE TALK TO ME.

AND WHAT I’M NOTICING
IS THAT PEOPLE ARE

GRAVITATING MORE TO ME.

LIKE, I DON’T HAVE TO TELL THEM,
I’M A CHRISTIAN BECAUSE,

HONESTLY, THE WORD CHRISTIAN,
THESE DAYS, A LOT OF PEOPLE

DON’T LIKE IT.

LIKE, IT’S A DEFLECTOR
TO PEOPLE.

AND SO, THE FACT
THAT I’M LEARNING HOW

TO CULTIVATE THE JOY,
AND CULTIVATE THE LOVE, MAN–

IN THIS SEASON, WHERE I FELT
THE LEAST AMOUNT OF LOVE,

I’M LIKE, “GOD, LET YOUR LOVE
JUST SHOW THROUGH ME.

THAT–SO MANY PEOPLE
ARE DRAWING TOWARDS

ME THAT NEED LOVE, I’M LIKE,
“WHAT ABOUT ME?”

OH AGAIN, I HEAR YOU.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JAI: YOU KNOW, I’M LIKE,
“WHAT ABOUT ME FEELING IT?”

BUT LIKE, GOD’S LIKE,
TEACHING ME HOW TO LOVE PEOPLE.

AND I’M GETTING SO MUCH
MORE FULFILLMENT FROM THAT

CULTIVATION AND BEING ABLE
TO GIVE IT OUT TO PEOPLE.

ERIN: I THINK, I HAD
A SIMILAR EXPERIENCE TO YOU,

LAST YEAR, ABOUT THE SAME–
THE SAME TOPIC OF LOVE.

I WAS PRAYING, AND THE WORLD
WAS ON FIRE, AND LIKE,

“GOD, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

WHAT–SHOW ME SOMETHING.

I NEED TO KNOW WHAT–
YOU’RE STILL HERE, RIGHT?”

AND SO, HE BROUGHT THE WORD,
LOVE, UP TO ME.

AND SO, I JUST WENT THROUGH
THE GOSPELS AND JUST

READ ALL ABOUT, WHAT DOES–
WHAT IS JESUS SAYING ABOUT LOVE?

AND HOW IS HE ACTING THAT OUT?

AND HE DOES IT JUST
LIKE YOU’RE SAYING JAI.

HE’S GOING AND SITTING
WITH THE LEAST OF THESE.

AND HE’S NOT JUDGING,
AND HE’S NOT CRITICIZING,

AND HE’S SO HUMBLE,
AND GRACIOUS.

AND NOT–
HE DOESN’T HAVE ALL THESE

WORDS TO SAY.

‘CAUSE I KEPT SAYING–THINKING,
LIKE, “I NEED TO HAVE

PARAGRAPHS, OF PARAGRAPHS,
OF ENCOURAGEMENT

TO TELL PEOPLE.”
AND HE JUST WAS WITH THEM,

WHERE THEY WERE.

GINGER: BUT HE’S ALSO,
SO HONEST.

ERIN: YEAH.

GINGER: YOU KNOW,
WHEN SOMEBODY’S NOT DOING

WHAT THEY NEED TO DO,
HE WILL LET THEM KNOW,

AND IN FEW WORDS,
REALLY WELL CHOSEN,

VERY STRAIGHTFORWARD,
BUT STILL IN LOVE.

ERIN: YEAH, I LOVE THE WAY
HE COMMUNICATES.

BECAUSE IT’S NOT LIKE,
“WHATEVER YOU SAY GOES.”

“THIS IS TRUTH.

SO, I WILL STAND UP FOR
WHAT’S RIGHT,” BUT–

GINGER: IT’S NOT, “I DON’T
WANT TO MAKE ANYBODY UPSET.”

ERIN: NO.

GINGER: “BUT I’LL STILL
LOVE YOU THROUGH THIS.”

ERIN: YEAH.

AND I–SO, THAT’S KINDA WHAT
I LEARNED IN THE PAST YEAR.

BUT I LOVE THE VERSE THAT
YOU SHARED, 1 CORINTHIANS.

LOVE FEELS REALLY BIG TO ME,
LIKE, THAT’S A REALLY BIG

CONCEPT TO GRASP.

SO, I LIKE THAT
ONE ‘CUZ IT SAYS,

“HERE’S WHAT THAT MEANS.

HERE’S YOUR DEFINITION OF LOVE,”
AS LIKE A CHECKLIST.

SO, “ARE YOU BEING THIS?”
“NO.”

“ARE YOU BEING THAT?”
“NO.”

I GOT ONE ON THE LIST,
SO LET’S TRY FOR

ANOTHER ONE TODAY.

BUT THAT’S KIND OF
A PRACTICAL THING,

I LIKE TO DO.

JOYCE: I THINK, IF A PERSON
DID NOTHING BUT FOCUS ON LOVE

FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE…

ERIN: WE’D BE BUSY.

JOYCE: WELL, TO BE HONEST,
I DON’T THINK YOU WOULD HAVE

ANY OTHER SIN PROBLEMS.

ERIN: I TOTALLY AGREE.

JOYCE: BECAUSE IF YOU
WALKED IN L–GOD DOESN’T SIN,

AND HE IS LOVE.

AND SO, I THINK THAT EVERY SIN,
SOMEWHERE, IS BECAUSE YOU’RE

NOT PAYING ATTENTION TO LOVE.

GINGER: WELL, WE MENTIONED
JOY A LITTLE BIT.

I LOVE JOY.

JOY’S JUST ONE OF THOSE
REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS.

AND SOMETIMES,
WHEN WE’RE SO FAR DOWN,

JOY JUST SEEMS UNATTAINABLE.

BUT WE HAVE TO REMEMBER
THAT GOD DOESN’T TALK

ABOUT JOY THE SAME WAY
HE TALKS ABOUT HAPPINESS

OR ANYTHING TEMPORARY.

IT DOES COME FROM THE SEED
THAT HE GIVES US, AND THEN,

WE DEVELOP IT FROM THERE.

SO, FROM THERE,
GOING TO KINDNESS.

KINDNESS IS A HARD ONE
IN THE WORLD TODAY TOO,

DON’T YOU THINK?

JOYCE: PEOPLE ARE PRETTY
CRUDE AND RUDE TODAY.

SOMEBODY TOLD ME RECENTLY,
HE SAID, “YOU NEED TO DO

A SEMINAR JUST ON MANNERS.”
I MEAN, IT’S LIKE,

PEOPLE OUT IN THE WORLD
TODAY, JUST–

THEY ARE SO–THEY JUST DON’T
HAVE MANNERS.

I MEAN, SOME OF THE STORIES THAT
PEOPLE TELL ME, WHO WORK WITH

THE PUBLIC–I MEAN, A COUPLE
OF MY GRANDDAUGHTERS WORK

AT A FAST-FOOD RESTAURANT.

AND I SAID, “YOU WOULD NOT
BELIEVE THE WAY PEOPLE CAN ACT,

IF YOU JUST DON’T GIVE
‘EM ENOUGH KETCHUP PACKETS.”

IT’S LIKE, EVERY–PEOPLE ARE
JUST READY TO EXPLODE.

AND JUST–IT’S NOT THAT
HARD TO BE A LITTLE

BIT KIND TO PEOPLE.

JAI: I THINK KINDNESS
IS A LOST ART SOMEWHAT BECAUSE–

EVEN THOUGH IT’S A FRUIT.

BUT I’M SAYING, IT’S JUST–
IT’S KINDA LOST IN THIS CULTURE

BECAUSE WE–WE’RE USED
TO GETTING THINGS QUICKLY.

LIKE, THIS IS LIKE,
A VERY FAST-PACED WORLD.

AND SO, THAT’S WHERE, I THINK,
A LOT OF PATIENCE LACKS

AND A LOT OF KINDNESS.

EVERYBODY’S JUST ON THE GO.

AND SO, ONE THING THAT
I TRY TO KEEP INSTILLING

IN MY DAUGHTER, JUST, BE KIND.

LIKE, SAY, “THANK YOU.”
SAY, “PLEASE.”

THOSE ARE LIKE,
LOST THINGS THAT I DON’T THINK–

AND I GREW UP IN A TIME–
MY PARENTS–IF I DIDN’T SAY,

“YES, MA’AM.

NO, MA’AM.

YES, SIR.

NO, SIR,” TO ANY ADULT,
YOU KNOW LIKE,

I WOULD GET IN TROUBLE.

AND SO, I RAISED
MY DAUGHTER THE SAME.

AND SHE STILL SAYS IT.

NOW, PEOPLE GET OFFENDED,
‘CUZ THEY DON’T WANNA,

“YOU THINK I’M OLD?”
LIKE, “NO, I’M JUST SAYING–

I’M JUST TRYING TO RESPECT,”
YOU KNOW, LIKE.

BUT I THINK THAT–
JUST THAT ART OF KINDNESS,

LIKE, I STILL DO IT.

I DON’T CARE.

I’M LIKE, “THANK YOU.

YES, MA’AM.

NO, MA’AM.

YES, SIR.”
IT’S JUST KINDNESS.

IT’S JUST BEING GENTLE AND KIND.

JOYCE: I THINK JOY COMES
FROM BEING THANKFUL TOO.

GINGER: YES.

JOYCE: I REALLY BELIEVE
THAT IF YOU–IF YOU’RE HAVING

A CRANKY DAY AND YOU’RE UNHAPPY,
YOU’RE PROBABLY UNHAPPY

BECAUSE YOU’RE THINKING
ABOUT WHAT YOU DON’T HAVE,

AND WHAT PEOPLE ARE NOT
DOING FOR YOU.

BUT IF YOU TURN IT AROUND AND–
I MEAN, I TRY TO DO THIS

EVERY MORNING.

I THANK GOD FOR SEVERAL
DIFFERENT THINGS THAT,

YOU KNOW, ARE PRETTY
ORDINARY THINGS.

THIS MORNING, I GOT TO TURN
MY FIREPLACE ON BECAUSE IT WAS

A LITTLE BIT COOL OUTSIDE.

AND I LOVE MY FIREPLACE,
SO I THANKED GOD THAT

I HAD A FIREPLACE.

YOU KNOW, AND IF YOU KEEP YOUR
MIND ON WHAT YOU DO HAVE,

YOU CAN BE HAPPY.

BUT I HEARD SOMETHING
THE OTHER DAY THAT–

I READ THIS, BUT I THOUGHT
IT WAS REALLY, REALLY GOOD.

YOU KNOW, MATERNITY,
GROWING UP IN GOD,

WHICH YOU HAVE TO DO IN ORDER
TO DISPLAY THESE FRUIT,

IT TAKES GOING THROUGH
SOME HARD STUFF.

I MEAN, TO BE HONEST,
THAT’S JUST WHERE WE GROW.

AND THIS MAN SAID HE WAS
TALKING TO HIS FATHER,

WHO WAS ELDERLY, AND HE SAID,
“SON, I’VE LEARNED THAT YOU

CAN NEVER BE REALLY HAPPY
UNTIL YOU’VE HAD PLENTY

OF REASONS TO BE SAD.”
GINGER: WOW, YEAH.

JOYCE: I MEAN,
HEY, IF YOU THINK ABOUT THAT,

THAT’S REALLY DEEP.

BECAUSE WHEN YOU–
WHEN YOU’VE BEEN HURT,

I THINK, THAT’S WHEN YOU
STOP HURTING PEOPLE.

LIKE YOU SAID, YOU’VE BEEN
SO MUCH NICER TO PEOPLE,

BUT IT’S BECAUSE YOU WENT
THROUGH A YEAR OF REAL PAIN.

AND WHEN WE HAVEN’T HAD THAT,
WE’RE NOT SENSITIVE TO WHAT

OTHER PEOPLE ARE GOING THROUGH.

ERIN: ONE THING I LOVE
ABOUT JOY, I THINK IT CONNECTS

REALLY WELL TO PEACE,
BECAUSE WE CAN BE GOING

THROUGH SOMETHING TERRIBLE,
AND TRAUMATIC, AND WHATEVER

IT IS, BUT YOU CAN STILL
HAVE JOY BECAUSE WE HAVE

THE PEACE TO KNOW THAT
GOD’S TAKING CARE OF IT.

THAT DOESN’T MEAN MY
CIRCUMSTANCE IS GREAT.

BUT TO ME, I CAN FEEL THAT JOY.

AND SOMETIMES, I WONDER LIKE,
“ERIN, WHY ARE YOU SO–

WHY ARE YOU SMILING RIGHT NOW?

YOU SHOULD BE CRYING.”
BUT I KNOW THAT GOD’S

TAKING CARE OF IT.

SO, IT’S LIKE AN UNSPEAKABLE
JOY, BECAUSE I HAVE THAT PEACE.

YOU KNOW, I THINK THEY
WORK TOGETHER.

GINGER: YEAH, AND THERE’S
SOMETHING BEAUTIFUL ABOUT

THE FACT THAT THE BIBLE TELLS
US THAT “THE JOY OF THE LORD

IS OUR STRENGTH.”
AND WE DON’T OFTEN CONNECT

JOY WITH BEING STRONG.

BUT THE JOY OF THE LORD
IS SOMETHING THAT GIVES

US STRENGTH.

THAT’S INCREDIBLE.

ERIN: ‘CUZ, IT DOES
FEEL LIKE A WEAPON,

LIKE YOU’RE FIGHTING BACK.

GINGER: EXACTLY.

JAI: AND IF JOY–NO,
AND IF JOY IS THE OPPOSITE

OF SADNESS, THEN THAT MAKES
A LOT OF SENSE TO ME,

‘CUZ I’VE BEEN SAD.

JOYCE: YEAH.

JAI: LIKE, YOU KNOW,
LIKE, WHEN I’M SA…[SIGH].

LIKE, I’M WIMPY.

GINGER: YOU DON’T
FEEL STRONG, RIGHT?

JAI: NO, LIKE, WHEN
YOU’RE SAD IT’S EASY

TO NOT FEEL STRONG.

BUT SO, IF THE OPPOSITE
OF SADNESS IS JOY,

THEN IT MAKES SO MUCH
SENSE TO ME.

LIKE, JUST GETTING UP–
LIKE, I REMEMBER GROWING UP,

WE WOULD SING, LIKE, THE–
LIKE, IF YOU NEED JOY,

YOU CAN LEAP FOR IT.

LIKE, WE USED TO SING
THAT ALL THE TIME.

YOU KNOW, AND SO, LIKE,
SO HONESTLY, I STILL USE

THAT TO THIS DAY.

IF I’M REALLY FEELING LOW,
I’LL JUST GET UP AND LIKE,

START JUMPING AROUND LIKE,
ACTING SILLY.

OR LIKE, OR THINK OF SOMETHING–
GINGER: DANCE IT OUT.

JAI: OR JUST MAKE
MY HEART LEAP.

LIKE SOMETHING THAT–
AND THAT’S WHERE GRATITUDE

COMES IN, YOU KNOW, LIKE,
JUST THINK OF SOMETHING

THAT’LL GIVE YOU JOY.

AND YOU DO FEEL
STRENGTH FROM THAT.

THAT DOESN’T TAKE AWAY
THE ISSUE, BUT IT DEFINITELY,

MAKES YOU NOT FEEL SO WIMPY.

ERIN: IT KIND OF REFOCUSES
YOU TOO ON JESUS.

JOYCE: WELL, REALLY, WHEN
THE DEVIL COMES AGAINST

US AND GIVES US TRIALS,
AND TRIBULATIONS,

AND PROBLEMS, HE’S REALLY
NOT AFTER WHATEVER IT IS,

HE’S TRYING TO TAKE
AWAY FROM YOU,

HE’S AFTER YOUR JOY,
AND HE KNOWS THAT’S

THE WAY TO GET IT.

JOY IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT.

AND THIS MAY SOUND LIKE
SOMETHING THAT PEOPLE THINK,

“NO, THAT WOULDN’T WORK.”
BUT YOU CAN ACTUALLY, MAKE

YOUR MIND UP IN THE MORNING,
“I’M GOING TO BE JOYFUL TODAY.

I’M GOING TO HAVE A GOOD DAY.

I’M GOING TO BE HAPPY
WITH WHAT GOD’S GIVEN ME.

I’M GOING TO BE CONTENT.”
‘CAUSE IN COLOSSIANS 3,

IT SAYS, “SET YOUR MIND,
AND KEEP IT SET ON THINGS

THAT ARE ABOVE.”
SO, THE THOUGHTS THAT YOU HAVE,

EARLY IN THE MORNING, SOMETIMES,
SETS YOU UP FOR THE WHOLE

REST OF THE DAY.

THAT’S WHY THE ENEMY MAKES
A BID FOR YOUR THOUGHTS,

SOMETIMES, BEFORE YOUR
FEET EVER, HIT THE FLOOR.

AND SO, I’VE KINDA LEARNED,
OVER 45 YEARS–IT’S A LONG TIME.

I MEAN, I WAS SO STUPID
IN THE BEGINNING.

AND–BUT I’VE LEARNED OVER
45 YEARS, THAT THE WORD OF GOD,

ACTUALLY WILL WORK,
IF YOU WORK IT.

IF YOU DO WHAT IT SAYS.

“SO SET YOUR MIND AND KEEP
IT SET ON THINGS

THAT ARE ABOVE.”
AND THAT DOESN’T MEAN SIT AROUND

AND THINK ABOUT HEAVEN ALL DAY.

BUT IT MEANS TO THINK
OF THE THINGS THAT GOD

WOULD WANT YOU TO DO,
BUT YOU HAVE TO DO THAT.

SO, YOU CAN TAKE A LITTLE
TIME, BEFORE YOU EVER GET

OUT OF BED IN THE MORNING,
AND THINK, “OKAY.

LORD, I LOVE YOU.

THANK YOU FOR ANOTHER DAY.

I’M GOING TO BE JOYFUL TODAY.

I’M GONNA WALK IN LOVE TODAY.

I NEED YOUR HELP.

I CAN’T DO IT WITHOUT YOU.”
BUT IT–HOW MANY PEOPLE WAKE UP,

AND THE FIRST THING THEY THINK
ABOUT IS WHO THEY’RE MAD AT,

AND WHAT SOMEBODY DID TO ‘EM
YESTERDAY THAT, YOU KNOW,

THEY’RE IRRITATED ABOUT.

GINGER: YEAH, I LIKE THIS
VERSE TALKING ABOUT KINDNESS,

“BE KIND TO ONE ANOTHER,
TENDER-HEARTED, AND FORGIVING.

BECAUSE WHEN–THERE ARE A
LOT OF DIFFERENT WAYS,

YOU CAN BE KIND, RIGHT?

YOU CAN BE KIND IN ENDLESS WAYS.

BUT TENDER-HEARTED
IS SOMETHING THAT REALLY

SPEAKS TO ME ABOUT KINDNESS.

IT’S LET–KEEPING OUR HEART
SOFT, EVEN WHEN THE WORLD

IS HARD, EVEN WHEN THE PAIN
AROUND US, MAKES US FEEL

SELF-PROTECTIVE.

JOYCE; RIGHT.

GINGER: AND SO, KINDNESS,
CAN ONLY COME WHEN

WE KEEP OUR HEART TENDER,
AND THAT COMES FROM FORGIVENESS.

SO, IT KIND OF TIES
TOGETHER WITH WHAT

YOU’RE SAYING ABOUT THAT,
“FIRST THOUGHT IN THE MORNING,

CAN’T BE WHO I’M MAD AT,”
OR YOU’RE NOT WAKING UP WITH

A TENDER HEART AND KINDNESS
IS NOT GONNA FLOW OUT OF THAT.

JOYCE: WELL, AND LIKE,
JAI TALKED ABOUT,

HOW MUCH KINDER SHE IS NOW,
AND IT’S BECAUSE YOU

HAD A GOOD DOSE OF…

JAI: I GOTTA BEAT DOWN.

JOYCE: YEAH.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JOYCE: SOMETIMES,
YOU GOT TO GET THAT

HARDNESS BEAT OUT OF YOU.

AND YOU KNOW, GOD NEVER
IS TRYING TO BE MEAN TO US,

BUT–I’M GONNA DO A SPEAKING
ENGAGEMENT, LATER THIS WEEK,

AND I’M GONNA TEACH
ON THE RAISING OF LAZARUS

FROM THE DEAD.

BUT I’M–THE MAIN THING
I’M AFTER IS, I LOVE THE PART

WHERE IT SAYS THAT JESUS
KNEW THAT LAZARUS WAS SICK.

SO, BECAUSE HE LOVED HIM,
HE WAITED TWO MORE DAYS

UNTIL HE WENT.

NOW, SEE, IT’S LIKE–
WE GOTTA PAY ATTENTION TO THAT.

BECAUSE HE LOVED HIM,
HE DIDN’T GO HELP HIM.

AND SO, THAT…UH-HUH.

ERIN: WHY?

WHY DID HE DO THAT?

JAI: I DON’T LIKE IT!

JOYCE: BECAUSE THERE
WAS SOMETHING DEEPER,

HE WAS AFTER.

THERE WAS A GREATER LESSON
THAT HE WANTED TO TEACH

MARY AND MARTHA.

NOW, YOU KNOW,
I TEND TO BE A RESCUER.

SO, I WOULD HAVE WANTED TO–
RAN REAL FAST AND RESCUED

POOR LAZARUS.

BUT HOW MANY PEOPLE RESCUE
THEIR KIDS AND THEY THINK

THEY’RE HELPING THEM.

AND REALLY, WHAT THEY’RE DOING,
IS JUST ENABLING THEM TO KEEP

THE BAD BEHAVIOR THAT THEY HAVE.

ERIN: THAT JUST SHOWS
THE SELF-CONTROL THAT

JESUS HAD TOO ‘CUZ–
OF HOW MUCH HE LOVES US.

YES, AS A PARENT,
YOU WANT TO RUN TO YOUR KID,

BUT HE KNEW WHAT WAS BETTER
FOR THEM TO HOLD BACK.

JAI: I’M SURE HE WANTED TO.

JOYCE: MARY AND MARTHA,
BOTH WERE, “LORD, WHY–IF YOU

WOULD HAVE BEEN HERE…

WHY WEREN’T YOU HERE?

WHY DID YOU LET
ME GO THROUGH THIS?”

AND YOU KNOW, THE BIBLE SAYS
YOU’RE TO THANK GOD IN THINGS,

BUT IT ALSO SAYS YOU’RE
TO THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING.

NOW, I LET ME TELL YOU,
THAT’S A WHOLE ‘NOTHER LEVEL.

LADIES: THAT’S HARD.

JAI: EVERYTHING THOUGH?

WHOO!

JOYCE: THINK ABOUT THAT.

YEAH, THANK GOD FOR EVERYTHING.

AND I’VE BEEN TRYING THAT.

ERIN: HOW’S IT GOING.

JOYCE: OH, WELL, IT’S GOING.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

ERIN: I’M NOT TO YOUR
LEVEL YET, SO.

JOYCE: IT’S LIKE,
I’M REALLY–I WANT TO–I DON’T

WANT TO JUST STUDY THE WORD.

I REALLY WANNA
TAKE IT SERIOUSLY,

AND TRY IT ALL OUT.

YOU KNOW, SO, IF I’M SUPPOSED
TO THANK GOD FOR THINGS,

IT DOESN’T MAKE ANY SENSE TO ME.

BUT I, “OKAY, GOD,
I THANK YOU FOR THAT

BLOW UP WE HAD IN THE FAMILY.

AND I BELIEVE, THE REASON WHY
WE CAN THANK GOD FOR THINGS

IS BECAUSE WE DO BELIEVE THAT
GOD CAN WORK SOMETHING GOOD

OUT OF THEM, AND HE CAN WORK
SOMETHING GOOD IN US.

YOU JUST CANNOT BECOME
WHAT GOD WANTS YOU TO BE,

IF EVERYTHING IN YOUR
LIFE IS CUSHY.

GINGER: AND THAT’S HOW
WE LEARN THESE OTHER TWO, RIGHT?

FAITHFULNESS, FAITH–WE LEARN
THE FAITHFULNESS OF GOD…

JOYCE: STICKING WITH STUFF.

GINGER: BY SEEING IT HAPPEN.

GOODNESS–
BUT I THINK WE NEED TO SKIP

OVER GOODNESS AND FAITHFULNESS,
IF THAT’S OKAY WITH YOU GUYS,

ONLY BECAUSE THERE’S SO MUCH
TO TALK ABOUT WITH SELF-CONTROL.

ERIN: NO, I PREFER
THE OTHER TWO, THANK YOU.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

GINGER: OK, ANYTHING YOU GUYS
WANNA SAY ABOUT GOODNESS

AND FAITHFULNESS, BEFORE WE
MOVE ON TO SELF-CONTROL?

ERIN: NO, THEY’RE GREAT.

JOYCE: WE PROBABLY
NEED THE REST OF THE TIME

FOR SELF-CONTROL.

GINGER: I THINK YOU’RE RIGHT.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

JAI: I WILL SAY THIS THOUGH.

WITH FAITHFULNESS,
LIKE BEING CONSISTENT,

THAT’S SOMETHING THAT I’M LIKE,
A PART OF MY SELF-LOVE JOURNEY.

JUST BEING CONSISTENT, LIKE,
BEING FAITHFUL.

LIKE, GOD SAID, IF–YOU KNOW,
“IF YOUR FAITHFUL OVER FEW,

HE’LL MAKE YOU RULER OVER MUCH.”
SO, LIKE, JUST LEARNING

HOW TO BE MORE FAITHFUL
AND CONSISTENT WITH THINGS,

IT’S HELPING ME.

GINGER: IT’S HUGELY
IMPORTANT, HUGELY IMPORTANT.

JAI: YEAH.

SO, IT TAKES SELF-CONTROL
TO DO THAT.

DA-DA…

GINGER: YEAH,
NICE TRANSITION.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

GINGER: THANK YOU.

JOYCE: SO WE SHOULD KNOW
WE’RE HEADED IN THE WRONG

DIRECTION WHEN WE HEAR
OURSELVES SAY, “I KNOW

I SHOULD DO THIS, BUT…”
ERIN: YEAH.

GINGER: “BUT…”
JOYCE: “I KNOW I SHOULDN’T

DO THIS, BUT…”
“I KNOW I SHOULDN’T TALK

ABOUT THIS, BUT…”
WHAT WE’RE REALLY SAYING IS,

“I KNOW WHAT’S RIGHT TO DO,
BUT I’M NOT GONNA USE ANY

SELF-CONTROL TO DO IT.”
ERIN: OH, OUCH.

GINGER: OH, I HAD ONE
OF THESE LAST WEEK.

AND IT WAS SOMETHING
THAT SOMEONE DID.

AND IT WASN’T A TERRIBLE DEAL.

IT WAS ANNOYING.

BUT I KNEW, IN MY HEART,
THAT GOD DID NOT WANT

ME TO TALK ABOUT IT.

HE DID NOT WANT
ME TO TELL ANYBODY ABOUT IT.

AND THAT WAS ONE OF THE HARDEST
SELF-CONTROL THINGS,

I CAN REMEMBER HAPPENING
IN A LONG TIME.

BECAUSE I JUST WANTED
TO TALK ABOUT IT.

I JUST–I WANTED
TO TELL MY HUSBAND.

I WANTED TO TELL MY DAUGHTERS.

“DO YOU KNOW THIS PERSON DID?”
AND IT WAS A HUGE

FACTOR OF SELF-CONTROL.

NOBODY KNEW.

IT WAS REALLY JUST
BETWEEN ME AND GOD.

JOYCE: I TOTALLY
AGREE WITH YOU.

THAT’S ONE OF THE HARDEST
THINGS IN THE WORLD TO DO

IS TO NOT TELL ANYBODY
WHAT SOMEBODY DID TO YOU.

I’VE HAD THAT TEST, MANY TIMES.

GINGER: YEAH, SO ANYWAY.

THAT WAS ONE OF THOSE
SELF-CONTROL, HARD THINGS

THAT I HAD TO DEAL WITH.

ERIN: I SAT IN THE CAR,
IN MY GARAGE, LIKE, MORE TIMES

THAN I CAN PROBABLY COUNT,
LIKE FUMING, ANGRY AT WHATEVER

THE SITUATION WAS.

SO BADLY, WANTING TO PICK
UP THE PHONE AND CALL A FRIEND,

TO JUST TELL ABOUT WHATEVER
JUST HAPPENED, THE PERSON

DID TO ME, OR WHATEVER.

AND SO STRONGLY, I CAN FEEL
THE HOLY SPIRIT SAYING,

“DO NOT PICK UP THAT PHONE.”
I CAN HEAR YOUR TEACHING

IN MY MIND.

DO NOT PICK UP THAT PHONE.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

“GO TO THE THRONE,
NOT THE PHONE.”

JOYCE: YEAH.

ERIN: “OKAY!”
SO, I’LL JUST SIT IN MY CAR

UNTIL I AM READY TO GET OUT
WITHOUT MAKING IT THAT CHOICE.

BECAUSE I KNOW, ONCE I DO THAT,
I’M NOT GONNA GO BACK TO HIM.

I’M NOT GONNA–
HIM BEING THE LORD,

AND TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT.

I WANNA MOVE ON WITH MY FRIEND,
AND WE’RE GONNA VENT,

AND FEEL BETTER THAT WAY.

SO, IT’S SO HARD.

JOYCE: I USED TO WORK
FOR SOMEBODY THAT WAS

REALLY NOT VERY NICE.

AND SO, THERE WAS A LOT
OFFICE, YOU KNOW, [CHATTER].

AND GOD REALLY DEALT WITH
ME ABOUT NOT BEING PART OF THAT.

YOU KNOW, NOT–
“DON’T TALK ABOUT ‘EM.”

BUT I WOULD GO HOME
AND TALK TO DAVE.

AND ONE DAY, THE LORD SAID,
“IT’S NOT A MATTER OF WHO YOU’RE

TALKING TO, IT’S THE WORDS
THAT DO THE DAMAGE.”

AND SO, SEE, WHEN WE’RE PUTTING
THOSE WORDS OUT THERE,

THOSE ARE WORDS THEN,
THAT THE ENEMY CAN TURN

AROUND AND USE AGAINST US.

THAT’S WHY IT’S SO IMPORTANT
TO COVER PEOPLE.

“LOVE COVERS
A MULTITUDE OF SINS.”

GINGER: AND THIS WAS
NOT SOMETHING THAT,

THAT PERSON WOULD HAVE
EVER KNOWN THAT I SAID,

BECAUSE THAT WASN’T THE POINT.

IT WASN’T ABOUT HURTING THAT
PERSON, LIKE YOU’RE SAYING.

JOYCE: BUT GOD WAS HAVING
YOU COVER THEM.

GINGER: YES!

JOYCE: AND YOU KNOW,
YOU GOT THE WHOLE THING

WITH NOAH AND HIS SONS.

WHEN HIS–WHEN HIS ONE SON–
WHEN HE GOT DRUNK

AND LAY IN HIS TENT NAKED.

AND HIS ONE SON WENT IN AND SAW
HIM, AND RAN BACK OUT,

AND TOLD THE OTHER TWO BROTHERS.

AND THE OTHER TWO BROTHERS
WALKED IN BACKWARDS,

WITH A COVER, AND COVERED
HIS NAKEDNESS.

AND THE SON WHO UNCOVERED HIM,
GOT A CURSE, AND THE OTHER

TWO GOT A BLESSING, SO.

JAI: IT’S FUNNY HOW
SELF-CONTROL, LIKE,

IN THIS SEASON, FOR ME–LIKE,
I’LL BE 40 IN A LITTLE BIT.

SO, I’M DOING LIKE,
THIS 40-DAY FAST OF SORTS,

YOU KNOW,
JUST TO GET TOWARDS IT.

AND ONE OF THE THINGS
IN THE FORTY-DAY FAST IS LIKE,

ME WORKING ON,
NOT TRYING TO FIX STUFF.

LIKE, ‘CUZ I LOVE–LIKE,
I’VE TALKED ABOUT THIS BEFORE,

BUT I LOVE A GOOD RESOLVE,
YOU KNOW?

LIKE EVEN, IN MUSIC, YOU KNOW?

♪ DAH-DAH-DAH-DA… ♪
♪ DA ♪

[LADIES LAUGHING]

GINGER: DON’T LEAVE
US HANGING.

JAI: YOU KNOW, LIKE,
END IT, YOU KNOW.

AND SO, EVEN IF THERE’S
A, YOU KNOW, SOMETHING TENSE

GOING ON WITH ME AND SOMEONE,
LIKE, I WANNA BE LIKE,

“OKAY, ARE YOU GOOD?”
“OKAY, LIKE–” YOU KNOW,

I ALWAYS WANNA DO THAT.

AND SO, EVEN, WITH MY DAUGHTER,
LIKE, SHE’S EIGHTEEN.

AND HONEY, SHE’S DOING
HER–SHE’S GROWN,

I GUESS, YOU KNOW, SO.

AND I JUST WANNA LIKE,
YOU KNOW, TOUCHED

AND ASK QUESTIONS.

AND WHAT GOD IS TEACHING ME,
RIGHT NOW, IT’S LIKE,

“AHT, AHT, AHT, DON’T.”
LIKE–AND SO IT’S–

A LOT OF THIS TIME
AS ME BEING HANDS-OFF.

HANDS OFF OF OTHERS,
AND HANDS-ON WITH ME.

AND LIKE, THAT’S SOMETHING–
I’M NOT USED TO THAT.

I’VE LIVED THE OPPOSITE WAY.

YOU KNOW, LIKE, ALL MY LIFE,
I’VE LIVED HANDS ON EVERYBODY

ELSE, AND DON’T TOUCH ME.

LIKE, YOU KNOW, SO, LIKE,
THAT’S THE SELF-CONTROL OF NOT

HAVING THAT RESOLVE AND TRUSTING
THAT GOD’S GONNA FIX IT

AND HE’S GONNA–HE’S GONNA
RESOLVE IT IN HIS TIME,

WHENEVER THAT IS,
TWO DAYS LATER, MAYBE.

GINGER: AND WHEN YOU’VE
LIVED THAT WAY FOR FORTY YEARS,

IT’S A LOT OF SELF-CONTROL
TO START TO CHANGE SOME

OF THOSE LITTLE THINGS THAT
GOD’S ASKING US TO WORK ON.

JAI: YEAH, ‘CUZ A LOT
OF THE FIXING THINGS

THAT I THOUGHT I DID,
I THOUGHT GOD TOLD ME TO FIX.

GINGER: AND HE PROBABLY
DID, SOME OF THEM.

JAI: MMM…SOME OF ‘EM
GINGER: MAYBE NOT ALL OF ‘EM.

JAI: SOME OF ‘EM.

BUT I MEAN, THE MENTALITY
OF THINKING THAT, OKAY, ALL THIS

STUFF THAT I WAS FIXING,
YOU KNOW, AND RESOLVING,

LIKE, I THOUGHT THAT WAS GOD.

BUT NOW, GOD’S TELLING ME,
“KEEP YOUR HANDS OFF–”

IN THIS PARTICULAR TIME FRAME,
“AND JUST REALLY FOCUS ON YOU.

WORK ON CULTIVATING YOUR FRUIT.

WORK ON CULTIVATING THINGS
THAT I’VE TOLD YOU,

TO DO FOR YOU,” SO.

JOYCE: WE HAVE TO REMEMBER
THAT WE ALL STILL HAVE A FLESH.

GINGER: OH YEAH.

ERIN: WE SURE DO.

JOYCE: AND IT’S NEVER GOING
TO WANT TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

NOW, IF YOU DO THE RIGHT
THING ENOUGH–LONG ENOUGH,

THEN IT WILL FINALLY SHUT UP.

LIKE, MY HUSBAND HAS WORKED
OUT FOR 60 SOME-ODD YEARS.

AND SO, COURSE,
HE LOOKS AMAZING.

PEOPLE, “OH, I WISH I LOOKED
LIKE DAVE.”

WELL, HE DIDN’T GET IT, WISHING.

YOU KNOW, HE GOT IT THROUGH
SELF-CONTROL.

I NEVER HEAR HIM SAY,
“I DON’T FEEL LIKE WORKING OUT.

I DON’T WANT TO WORK OUT TODAY.”
EVEN IF HE FELT THAT WAY,

HE WOULDN’T SAY ANYTHING.

HE WOULD JUST GO AND DO IT.

BUT IT’S BECAUSE HE’S DONE
IT SO LONG.

AND SO, SOME OF THESE THINGS
LIKE THAT, ARE HARD AREAS–

THAT ARE HARD TO HAVE
SELF-CONTROL IN.

WE HAVE TO REALIZE THAT OUR
FLESH IS GONNA FIGHT AGAINST

US UNTIL IT’S COMPLETELY DEAD.

AND THE ONLY WAY YOU KILL IT,
IN AN AREA, WHICH THE BIBLE

DOES SAY, “KILL THE FLESH,”
IN COLOSSIANS,

IN THE AMPLIFIED BIBLE.

THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN DO THAT,
IS YOU CAN KILL ANYTHING

IF YOU DON’T FEED IT.

BUT EVERY TIME YOU
GIVE IN TO IT, YOU FEED IT.

AND THE ONLY WAY YOU EVER
CAN GET FREE FROM IT,

IS TO NOT FEED IT ANYMORE,
AND THEN, IT FINALLY LOSES

ITS STRENGTH.

ERIN: IT BRUSHES UP
AGAINST YOUR PRIDE THOUGH.

THAT–JUST TO NOT SAY
SOMETHING, WHEN YOU KNOW…

OR TOO, WHAT YOU’RE DOING WITH
YOUR DAUGHTER, AND HOLDING BACK

WHEN YOU KNOW THE ANSWERS,
IS SO–IT FEELS SO MUCH LIKE

A BLOW TO THE PRIDE WHEN
YOU KNOW THE ANSWER,

AND “I CAN HELP YOU AND I CAN
MAKE THIS ALL RIGHT.”

AND TO NOT, IT’S HARD.

GINGER: YEAH, BUT IT IS THAT
STARVATION THEORY THAT

YOU’RE TALKING ABOUT.

I THINK THAT’S A GREAT
WAY TO DESCRIBE IT.

THE MORE I CAN GO WITHOUT SUGAR,
THE LESS I WANT THE SUGAR.

JOYCE: THAT’S EXACTLY, RIGHT.

GINGER: AND IT’S THE SAME
WAY, IN THE OTHER

AREAS OF OUR LIFE.

AND WHEN WE TALK
ABOUT THE FRUIT OF THE SPIRIT,

I THINK, WE SEE HOW
ALL OF THESE THINGS,

IN OUR LIFE, COME TOGETHER
AND HOW THEY FEED EACH

OTHER WITH THE GOOD THINGS,
THE FRUIT, AND STARVE THE BAD

THINGS IN OUR LIFE.

LIKE, IF YOU LOOK
AT 2 TIMOTHY 1:7, IT SAYS,

“FOR GOD DID NOT
GIVE US A SPIRIT OF FEAR,

BUT OF POWER, AND OF LOVE,
AND OF SELF-CONTROL.”

JOYCE: RIGHT,
AND ISN’T IT INTERESTING

THAT SELF-CONTROL’S IN THERE?

GINGER: EXACTLY.

SELF-CONTROL IS ONE OF THOSE
THINGS THAT DEFEATS FEAR.

THAT’S MIND-BLOWING TO ME, PKEW.

JAI: I THINK IT’S INTERESTING
BECAUSE I’VE LEARNED THAT

SCRIPTURE SO MANY TIMES,
AND IT WAS, OF A–IN A SOUND

MIND, AND IT’S JUST–
JOYCE: BUT A SOUND MIND

IS SELF-CONTROL.

THE AMPLIFIED BIBLE
BRINGS THAT OUT.

JAI: EXACTLY,
BUT THAT’S WHAT I’M SAYING.

LIKE THAT…LIKE…

JOYCE: IF YOU’RE
THINKING PROPERLY.

JAI: IT’S ABOUT…

IT’S UP HERE.

ERIN: SO, YOU GET YOUR
SELF-CONTROL IN YOUR MIND.

JOYCE: WELL, YOU’RE
THINKING PROPERLY.

YOU’RE THINKING, “I DON’T FEEL
LIKE DOING THIS, BUT I KNOW

WHAT I SHOULD DO.

AND SO, I’M GONNA DO,
WITH GOD’S HELP,

WHAT I SHOULD DO,
NOT WHAT I FEEL LIKE DOING,”

AND YOUR FLESH IS GONNA
HAVE A FIT.

IT’S JUST LIKE A LITTLE BABY
WHEN YOU TAKE ITS PACIFIER.

IT’LL SCREAM, AND YELL,
AND YOU KNOW,

“GIVE ME MY SUGAR…”
“GIVE ME…”

WHATEVER IT IS.

BUT EVERY TIME
YOU DON’T FEED IT–

AND THAT WAS ALWAYS
REALLY HELPFUL TO ME.

EVERY TIME YOU DON’T FEED IT,
IT GETS A LITTLE BIT WEAKER.

GINGER: SO, I HAVE TO SHARE
THIS STORY SINCE YOU

BROUGHT UP PACIFIERS.

BECAUSE WE WERE JUST WITH
OUR GRANDSON THIS WEEK.

AND HIS MOM IS STARTING
TO WEAN HIM FROM THE BINKY,

THE PACIFIER.

AND SO, THE NEW RULE IS,
“THE BINKY STAYS IN THE BED.”

SO, HE CAN HAVE IT AT NAPTIME
AND IT BEDTIME, BUT THE BINKY

HAS TO STAY IN THE BED.

WELL, I GOT HIM UP FROM
HIS NAP, ONE TIME.

I PULLED THE PACIFIER OUT
OF HIS MOUTH AND I PUT IT DOWN,

AND I TURNED AROUND,
AND IT WAS IN HIS MOUTH AGAIN!

AND I WAS LIKE, “WHAT HAPPENED?

HOW DID HE DO THAT?”
HE’S LIKE A LITTLE MAGICIAN.

AND SO, THE NEXT DAY,
I REALLY WATCHED

TO SEE WHAT HE DID.

AND WHEN I GOT HIM UP,
HE HAD A PACIFIER IN HIS MOUTH,

AND TWO IN HIS HAND.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

GINGER: AND AS SOON
AS I PULLED ONE OUT,

HE JUST POPPED ANOTHER ONE IN.

AND HE DID THAT THREE TIMES.

JUST POPPED ANOTHER ONE IN.

AND HE HAD A WHOLE PILE
OF THEM IN HIS BED THAT

HE WAS HOARDING.

AND THAT’S HOW WE ARE.

JOYCE: WELL, WE’RE KINDA
LIKE THAT.

WE’VE GOT OUR BACK-UPS.

GINGER: YEAH, THAT’S
HOW WE ARE ESPECIALLY

WITH SELF-CONTROL.

WE CAN FIND ALL SORTS
OF WAYS TO MANIPULATE

IT TO GET WHAT WE WANT.

IT’S HARD TO LET GO OF SOME
THINGS IN OUR WORLD.

JOYCE: YOU KNOW,
THE BOTTOM LINE IS,

I WAS JUST SITTING HERE
THINKING, A CHRISTIAN–

EVERY PERSON WHO’S LISTENING
OR WATCHING, WHO IS A CHRISTIAN,

OUR WHOLE GOAL SHOULD
BE TO PLEASE GOD EVERY DAY.

IT’S NOT ABOUT US,
BUT TO PLEASE GOD EVERY DAY.

KNOWING THAT IF WE DO THAT,
THEN HE CAN USE US TO BRING

OTHER PEOPLE INTO THE KINGDOM.

IF WE DIDN’T HAVE A PURPOSE
HERE, WHEN WE’RE BORN AGAIN,

HE WOULD JUST BRING
US UP TO HEAVEN AND WE COULD

BYPASS ALL THIS.

BUT GOD WORKS THROUGH PEOPLE,
BUT NOT FLESHLY PEOPLE.

YOU CAN’T–
BACK IN THE OLD TESTAMENT,

THERE WAS NEVER ANY ANOINTING
OIL PUT ON THE FLESH.

YOU CAN’T ANOINT THE FLESH.

YOU CAN ONLY ANOINT THE SPIRIT.

GINGER: SO, JOYCE, GIVE US
A WORD OF ENCOURAGEMENT,

AS WE CLOSE, TO CONTINUE
TO DEVELOP THE FRUIT OF SPIRIT

IN OUR LIFE.

JOYCE: OKAY.

WELL, I THINK, I WOULD FOCUS
ON LOVE AND SELF-CONTROL.

LET’S JUST TAKE THOSE TWO.

OUT OF NINE, LET’S JUST TAKE
THOSE TWO, AND REALIZE THAT

EVERY TIME GOD WANTS YOU
TO DO THE RIGHT THING,

THE DEVIL’S GONNA TRY TO GET
YOU TO DO THE WRONG THING.

BUT KEEP IN MIND THAT PRINCIPLE,
THAT EVERY TIME,

YOU SAY, “YES,” TO GOD AND,
“NO,” TO THE ENEMY, OR, “YES,”

TO THE SPIRIT AND, “NO,”
TO THE FLESH–IN THE BEGINNING,

IT’S REALLY HARD.

IT’S LIKE, SAY, IF YOU DECIDE
TO STOP–YOU’RE NOT GONNA

TALK BAD ABOUT PEOPLE ANYMORE.

LIKE, YOU HAD YOUR
ONE SITUATION.

SO, LET’S JUST SAY, YOU DECIDE,
“I’M GONNA LIVE LIKE THAT.”

OKAY, WELL,
IN THE BEGINNING, IT IS GONNA

BE SO GUT-WRENCHINGLY,
HARD AND YOU’LL FAIL

A NUMBER OF TIMES.

THAT’S WHY YOU GOTTA STICK
WITH STUFF, YOU KNOW,

STICK WITH STUFF.

AND THEN, JUST KEEP AT IT,
AND KEEP AT IT, AND KEEP AT

IT UNTIL THAT THING NO LONGER
HAS CONTROL OVER YOU.

AND THEN, I CAN PROMISE YOU,
GOD WILL GIVE YOU

A NEW ASSIGNMENT.

SO REALLY, WE’RE NEVER GOING
TO BE PERFECTED TO WHERE GOD

DOESN’T NEED TO DEAL WITH US.

AND DON’T GET YOUR
PANTIES IN A BUNCH,

WHEN GOD DEALS WITH YOU.

JUST BE THANKFUL THAT HE CARES
ENOUGH ABOUT YOU TO NOT LEAVE

YOU THE WAY THAT YOU ARE.

GINGER: YEAH.

WELL, WE’LL ALL BE BETTER
OFF FOR IT.

AND IT WON’T ALWAYS BE REAL
COMFORTABLE ALONG THE WAY,

ESPECIALLY, WHEN OUR PANTIES
DO GET IN A BUNCH.

‘CUZ THAT IS NOT COMFORTABLE.

JAI: IT’S EMBARRASSING
TO PULL IT OUT.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

GINGER: BUT IT’S AN
EXCELLENT POINT.

THE MORE THAT WE STARVE THOSE
NEEDS, THOSE–THE FLESHLY

DESIRE, THE MORE THE FRUIT
OF THE SPIRIT CAN GROW

IN OUR LIVES.

THANK YOU ALL VERY MUCH.

JAI: THANK YOU.

ERIN: THANK YOU, JOYCE.

JOYCE: YOU’RE WELCOME.

GINGER: REALLY HELPFUL STUFF.

SO, WE WANT TO TELL YOU THAT WE
HAVE A FREE RESOURCE FOR YOU

SO THAT YOU CAN FIND OUT MORE
ABOUT THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN

THE FRUIT AND THE GIFTS THAT
WE’VE BEEN TALKING ABOUT.

IT’S CALLED, “UNDERSTANDING
GIFTS VERSUS FRUIT.”

IT’S A FREE AUDIO DOWNLOAD.

SO, IF YOU GO TO
JOYCEMEYER.ORG/TALKITOUT,

YOU CAN GRAB THAT, YOU CAN
ALSO WATCH PAST EPISODES.

YOU CAN HEAD OVER
TO YOUTUBE TO WATCH, TOO.

SUBSCRIBE, MAKE SURE THAT
YOU DON’T MISS ANY EPISODES,

TELL YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT IT.

AND WE ARE SO GLAD THAT
YOU WERE HERE WITH US.

WE HAVE A LOT OF FRUIT THAT
WE CAN ALL DEVELOP TOGETHER,

IN OUR LIVES, AND IT JUST GIVES
US MORE, AND MORE TO TALK ABOUT.

THERE’S ALWAYS A STORY TO SHARE.

JOYCE: THAT’S RIGHT, ALWAYS.

[LADIES LAUGHING]

GINGER: THANK YOU ALL,
APPRECIATE IT.

WE’LL SEE YOU NEXT TIME.

BYE, BYE.

GO GET TODAY’S FREE RESOURCE
AT JOYCEMEYER.ORG/TALKITOUT.

[♪♪♪]