Joyce Meyer, one of the world’s leading practical Bible teachers and New York Times best-selling author, shares encouragement and advice to help us enjoy our daily lives. With a heart to share Christ and love people, Joyce’s messages help people in all walks of life to grow in their faith, learn to study the Bible, find healing from the wounds of life, get answers to life’s questions and encounter the love of God in a powerful way.

as for our live webcast on making good

habits and breaking bad habits this is

your opportunity for joys to answer your

questions on habits and right now you

can go ahead and begin submitting those

questions Joyce this is a topic that a

lot of people need help with that

because we all have bad habits in our

lives we all want to build good habits

but I love the way you’re coming at it

because you’re not saying focus on that

bad habit you’re saying focus on the

good now this was really I thought a

fresh approach and people are very

interested in habits I’ve done a

teaching series on habits and it was

always very popular but I do think that

just human nature tends to focus on the

problem rate and getting rid of the

problem so you can do the right thing

but scripture really teaches us that

there’s only one thing that overcomes

evil and that’s good and that if we walk

in the spirit we won’t fulfill the lust

of the flesh that you know only dark

darkness can only be swallowed up by

light death can only be gotten rid of by

life so I don’t know why it’s taken us

so long to apply that biblical principle

to any area in our life that we want to

see change instead of focusing on what I

should not do

right I should focus on what I should do

and can do through God’s grace and then

when we’re full of good things there’s

no room for the bad thing through action

yeah and so I think it’s really an

exciting approach to think about

developing all these good habits instead

of home and I’ve got 25 bad habits I

need to break yeah well and I think that

a lot of people will have some very

specific questions and in a lot of good

questions on how to actually apply this

into our life but before we get started

we’re going to take a look at what a few

people have to say about habits and then

Joyce will begin taking your questions

College for many the place where habits

are revealed most difficult habit I have

is procrastination habits are duplicated

habits my worst habit is probably

procrastination procrastination I’ll

always wait till the last minute to do

stuff habits are redefined

procrastination is actually pretty good

habit that I’ve gotten into doing

homework last minute I get a lot more

done and I feel like it’s a better

quality even students say bad habits can

be unhealthy I like to sleep a lot and I

smoke cigar frustrating biting my nails

I’m really bad with that and unique I

use the word absolutely many times

they’re going to ask me a question I

will stab salutely or something I’m

doing absolutely so I can break that I

try everyone agrees breaking bad habits

and establishing good ones can be

difficult but worth the effort yes

absolutely there we go

did you hear me I feel like if I got up

earlier I could be more productive with

my day good habits make you a productive

person these students at the beginning

of their adult lives understand the

habits they make and break today will

have a lasting effect let’s have a say a

lot about you the habits that you

develop over time they

to do the things you usually go through

and things that are like how you see

yourself so good and bad habits kind of

develop the person so habits are here to

stay but we have a choice between the

good I want to be on time the bad uh

texting and driving and the um unique

I’m always smiling I always try to smile

oh so I do everything with fashion

smiling with passion smiling with

passion that’s an interesting it’s

always smiling oh yeah that’s a good one

there there are some good ones and some

bad ones in there both but we have some

questions and and I’ve got a couple to

start off with that I think you’re

really going to enjoy because these

questions are really good questions a

lot of people will appreciate them but

they’re coming from a couple people

special to you some twin granddaughters

Oh angel and stuff so these are good

questions I told me that we’re going to

watch today as well here’s the question

how can I stop eating sugar now how many

people would love to hear the answer to

this question well I could just say

don’t put it in your mouth but I try to

do I’ll try to do a little better than

that you know one of the Bible says not

to make any provision for your flesh and

to put a stop to thinking about it and

so you know if I start thinking about

dessert very long I’m sure to end up

with it so if you really don’t want to

do something you have to put a stop to

thinking about it right away another

really good thing to keep in mind is if

you don’t want to eat something don’t

keep it in your house you know it’s like

if to keep a cake mix there you’re bound

to bake a cake it’s hard to get cooking

yep so but if you’re going to have to go

get up in a vehicle go to a store and

get it you’re more likely than to find

something else to eat so that energy

roadblock yeah that is a good question

and I’m sure that a lot of people have

that and you know one of the things that

I want to say up front here is that you

can never change a habit if you don’t

believe you can so the first thing you

have to do is believe this can change in

my life with God’s help this

can change and I even recommend saying

it out loud because most people say I

can’t avoid sugar I can’t resist sugar

right you know I have no discipline so

what we say is also important yeah okay

here is the second granddaughters

question how can I stop whining I want

that question she’s so sweet she can’t

possibly be a whiner

you know whining can become a habit yeah

and it develops from focusing on the

negative from focusing on what we don’t

have instead of focusing on what we do

have and I think it’s a very good

exercise as children are adults and it

would be great to teach a child to do

this every every morning to actually

either make a list on paper or a verbal

list of these are ten things that I can

think of right now that are blessings in

my life and I’m grateful for them yeah a

lot of times the way that we get the day

started is the way it goes and so I just

encourage her to be really thankful she

can be thankful she’s got such a great

grandmother that’s the first thing to be

thankful hi girls I know you’re watching

have a good day those are good questions

a lot of people you know are dealing

with those habits once you start to get

the in that habit of seeing the negative

things and kind of complaining about

them it’s a habit for a lot really the

the thesis of this whole thing yeah is

we’re going to focus on the good right

right that’s bad well this is an

interesting question that goes along

with that and this is Cassandra and

she’s asking what happens if one bad

habit links to more bad habits so how do

you kind of stop that cascading trend

well like for example procrastinating

could be a habit that would lead to a

lot of other bad habits are are not

making decisions being indecisive which

is one of the behavior patterns we talk

about I mean if you don’t know how to

make decisions it can cause all kinds of

problems in your life so obviously you

want to stop the first habit rate and

focus on the thing that’s you know

causing the problem we we can’t expect

to make bad choices and have good

results so for example we talked about

the God habit in here

well I can tell you if I did not have

what I call my god time daily for me I

need it daily and I needed early you

know and I remember telling my children

when they first started complaining many

many years ago when I would go into my

room early in the morning and start

spending time with God and I was just

getting a revelation on this and they

would whine for me to come and see

whining they’d whine and for me to come

in why aren’t you gonna come and make

our breakfast and then Nettie do you

have to go in that room every morning I

said listen you better thank God I’m in

this room because you’re gonna have a

much better day if I go in this room so

if for example like if I don’t pay

attention to my god habit spending time

with God then I’m going to have all

kinds of problems all day but if I do

that one thing first

right that I know that the Holy Spirit’s

leading me to do then that solves the

rest of it so yeah it’s interesting

because we’ve encouraged people to join

what we’re calling them make one break

one challenge and so a lot of people

have been doing that and getting

encouragement along the way is they take

this journey and one of the main ones

that people are focusing on is the God

habit which is very exciting they want

that relationship to grow that’s and it

is a Christianity is about having a

relationship with God through Christ

it’s not about being frustrated all day

trying to keep rules and regulations

it’s it’s it’s not about just a trip to

church on Sunday and you know a

five-minute prayer every day those are

all parts of things that we do but it’s

mainly about relationship and God just

wants time with us the Bible says that

he’s jealous God and that can sound a

little odd but he’s actually he loves us

so much that he’s jealous of having time

with us he wants us to seek Him and he

wants us to want him and a lot of people

that have a question about this God

habit I think they don’t know what to do

when they spend their god time it’s like

well what do I do

you know and I honestly don’t think yes

what we do is important but I don’t

think it’s nearly as important as the

fact that we go to God and want time

with him and then he’ll lead us in what

to do he helps fellow right he does okay

let’s hit another question

this is from Wanda and she says I’m very

excited about this particular book my

question is that I have so many bad

habits that are fueled by emotion where

do I start

dealing with the habit or with the

emotion okay well I think that the first

thing that everybody has to start with

is the God habit and I don’t want to

just focus on this one thing all day but

you’re probably going to hear me say it

a lot because there’s no hope of

changing any other habit if we don’t

have the god habit and one of the habits

is a habit of stable emotions and so she

should start there if the emotions you

know I believe I mean I did encourage

people in the book if yours getting

started to start with something small

maybe so you get a success so that might

be a good thing too for her to first

take a couple of simple things and focus

on those see that she’s going to get a

good result then go after that major one

great which is the emotional habit and I

think you have to understand emotions in

order to be able to form a habit of

stability I was actually just thinking

this morning how much peace I have in my

life now and how stable I am when

problems come up compared to the way I

was 15 years ago and it’s not an

overnight thing I think that anybody in

30 days can get a good start but when

you talk about something like emotions

that’s something that I mean a person

could even have to do some digging back

to well why am I so emotionally out of

control where is this coming from there

are other people that’s just their

personality they’re more sanguine

emotional type people and it may be

something that they’ll have to learn to

deal with on a regular basis throughout

their life here’s a very practical

question this comes from Indianapolis

and it says I’m having a rough time

quitting smoking and I’m reading about

temptation in the Bible but what else

can you offer to help me in this habit

well since I used to smoke and had a

very hard time breaking that habit I can

deal with that one of the things that I

started doing and it’s going to sound

strange to somebody who doesn’t know the

principle of confessing the Word of God

out loud

but your words have power and so often

when people have a bad habit they talk

about that bad habit like what my bad

habit and I could never stop doing this

and for years and years

I said not realizing what I was doing I

could never stop smoking because I know

if I did I would want to eat all the

time and I would gain a lot of weight

so I literally had more or less dug my

own grave and jumped in it so every time

I tried to quit

I had already set myself up for failure

so one of the things I started doing was

I started confessing out loud I don’t

like to smoke I’ve quit smoking it’s an

expensive habit it people smell the

smoke on me I don’t I don’t do it

anymore I don’t want to do it anymore

and within two weeks I had started a

journey taking a step of faith to

actually quit now I’m not going to say

that it was not difficult it was but in

30 days it was pretty much all but over

the first week for me was more difficult

and then even when I would have a rough

day or something bad would happen I

remember being at a picnic one time in

the middle of this quitting thing and

Dave and I got into an argument and I

left the picnic and ran home to try to

find some cigarettes to smoke like that

was really going to solve my problem and

I remember I found some but then I made

the decision to throw them in the trash

can and that was a that was like a big

breaking point for me and so much

triggers yeah when it comes to something

that has a physical hold on you drugs

alcohol smoking sugar caffeine something

like that I’m not going to tell you that

there’s going to be no discomfort for

you because I think that would be

foolish for me to say that but I will

say that it’s not going to last forever

it gets easier every single day and the

big thing is is not to think about the

pain you have right now but think about

the freedom that you’re going to have in

a short period of time yeah keep that

encouraging thing in mind alright

question from Omaha Nebraska I really

need help with my habit of always being

late I give myself plenty of time but

then I still end up being late in it’s


in my employment well most people who

have difficulty being late are people

who either don’t plan well but she’s

saying that she does so we won’t go at

it from that angle but probably what

she’s doing is she’s trying to do too

much of what she wants to do instead of

doing what she should do first like my

daughter the twins mother had a problem

with this for a lot of years and she

would put off getting ready to the end

because she likes everything in her

house neat when she leaves and so she

would get all caught up in all these

things that really should not have been

priority for her at that time and then

when it got down to I have to get ready

then she’d be in a big rush and end up

being late now in her situation she

really needed a revelation of God’s

grace in her life because she was

depending on herself to change this

instead of depending on God and that’s a

premise that we have to have throughout

all of this and I said that when I

talked about the God habit and the

reason why the God habit is so important

is you go to God first and you ask him

to give you the grace to do whatever you

need to do I don’t suggest that anybody

watching today just try to break a habit

or trying to make a habit trying is not

the answer

believing is what determines our living

and so what we need to do is believe God

and always ask ask ask ask God to help

you with everything that you try to do

that’s good that’s good um question from

Mercedes she asked how do I overcome the

habit of being passive well that’s an

interesting one because when you’re

passive you just plain don’t want to do

anything interestingly enough and this

may encourage her my husband Dave had a

stronghold of passivity in his life when

we first got married and it was a tough

thing for him to get rid of

he certainly overcome now he certainly

did but when you’re passive what happens

is you’ve been inactive for a long

period of time or you’ve practiced not

making too

Asians to the point where the enemy

actually the enemy being the devil gets

involved in oppressing our will so you

just don’t want to I mean you just

absolutely don’t want to do anything

everything about you has become passive

so we’re going to the first habit Dave

had to farm was the god habit and he

started getting up in the morning really

early before he went to work to spend

time with God and invariably he would

fall asleep it was hard for him he’d

have to get up and walk around you know

sometimes we do have to fight the good

fight there’s no there’s nothing saying

that everything is going to be easy now

you know I’m kind of a rambunctious

fighter type person anyway so you know

that’s not as challenging for me but for

a passive person they’d rather lay by

the pool like the crippled man in John 5

for 38 years waiting for a miracle to

float by than they would to get up and

do what they know that they need to do

so you start by spending that time with

God praying asking God to help you and

then take baby steps of no matter how

you feel just get up and do what you

know you need to do it may feel like you

are dragging yourself through quicksand

initially but here again keep in mind it

gets easier every day well you said

something really important and that’s

not basing what you do on your feelings

so you know that’s that’s a big part of

it and that goes back to that emotional

habit as well the god habit so many of

these things really do tie together and

so many people live by how they feel and

I probably we all do more than we

realize that we do but people constantly

tell me how they feel yeah I feel like

nobody loves me I feel I feel you know

are all as people maybe when I’m out one

of my conferences and they’ve been there

on Thursday night Friday morning and

maybe I’ll see it not are you coming

tonight well I’m going to see how I feel

well you know what you’re not going to

come then you can’t wait and see how

you’re going to feel you have to make a

decision right right

Jacob is asking an interesting question

he wants to know what is the difference

between a habit and an addiction and how

does that apply to this well a habit out

of control

can become an addiction that’s why it’s

very important to get a handle on these

things when you realize that something

is getting out of balance in your life

that’s when you need to come against it

first Peter 5:8 says be well balanced

for your adversary the devil roams about

like a lion roaring in fierce hunger

seeking whom he may devour I love that

scripture it was one of the first

scriptures that God taught me many years

ago and the truth is is when we’re out

of balance that’s an open door for the

enemy because the devil loves extremes

anything that’s extreme I read one time

that it that an extreme is the enemy’s

playground and so if you notice that

something is starting to get out of

balance in your life you’re starting to

get up in the morning and turn the

television on right away and you’re

you’re you know sitting in front of it

way way way way way too many hours not

saying that it’s wrong to watch

television but still want to spend your

whole day doing that or you’re going out

and shopping more and more and spending

more and more money that you know down

deep in your heart that you shouldn’t

spend it’s very important to get things

in the beginning resist the devil that

is on set the Bible says in first Peter

and so if we’ll do that then those

things won’t become addictions because

when something has become an addiction

it is more difficult to get rid of not

impossible we can do it but it is going

to be a little more difficult yeah all

right this is a question from Louisiana

I love my wife dearly however there are

times when drawn to anger she knows how

to get under my skin where are you

that’s very true before I know it I’ve

lashed out and called her a name that

hurts her very badly and I don’t want to

do that so how can I help it sounds

almost like just a gut response

something that he said before he even

realized it well it’s it’s going to

require learning how to control his

emotions and his mouth and you know I

always think of examples from my own

life and I hope people don’t get tired

of those but I always say I don’t have

to tell made-up stories like Jesus did

I’ve got enough of my own I never run

out of stuff for my own life but when I

was trying to learn how to not talk back


trying to learn how to be a submissive

wife you know he would be maybe saying

something I didn’t like or something I

didn’t agree with and I would feel the

Holy Spirit in my spirit just giving me

that little nudge I just don’t say

anything don’t say anything and honestly

sometimes I would have to just excuse

myself and get out of the room because I

could feel the anger coming up and it

would actually be better for him to get

away from the situation get control of

himself and then come back and try to

deal with it in a decent way because

they’re kind of playing off of each

other you know I’m probably probably

neither one of them even realize what’s

going on it’s just become something that

the enemy’s gotten a stronghold in and

so she knows what gets under his skin he

thinks she may not really know at all it

may just be a habit she has and he has a

habit of playing back into it and

probably after the explosion they both

go what happened that’s what what

happened with me I’d like how did we get

into this big argument we were just

trying to talk about some simple thing

you know the good news is and I think

this is a good place to stop and say

this is the Holy Spirit is our teacher

I’m a teacher he’s the teacher and he

guides us into all truth and the Holy

Spirit will show us how to do every one

of the things that we need to do in our

life if we’ll have the God habit and go


to him and depend on him for the answers

that we need you know I can give a list

of well this is what I did I did I did

and that might not work for somebody

else but God will show them what to do

and it’s very important to me that

people participating this webcast today

turn it off with full hope that whatever

the habit is that they have in their

life that it can be can be changed by

making a good habit that nothing is

impossible with God that God will give

them the ability they have to believe

because if you don’t believe nothing is

going to change and in this situation

like this this man is talking about with

his wife God will give him

I like to call a red light on the inside

of him

a little warning bell that lets him know

you’re going in that direction again

been there done that let’s don’t go

around that mountain again and then it’s

up to him and we always have a part in

all this it’s up to him if he’s going to

then give his will to God and do what he

knows God’s wanting him to do are just

continue to be emotional and blurt out

something he’s going to be sorry for

right okay well we’re going to keep

going here we want to get through as

many of these questions as we can this

question comes from Milwaukee and says

how do you get rid of the habit of being

a people pleaser

maybe we should identify what a people

pleaser is first well a people pleaser

is someone who will always try to keep

people happy not that that in itself is

a bad thing but if we keep people happy

at the cost of disobeying God are losing

our own life and identity then that

becomes a real problem and the root of

that habit is insecurity if we don’t

know who we are in Christ then it’s

going to be way way way too important

for us to us what people think about

right so in order to get them to think

well of us we’re going to do anything

that we think they want us to do

it can also be rooted in rejection if

somebody has experienced the pain of

rejection in their life they may spend

more time in relationships trying to

avoid rejection than they even do trying

to build a good relationship rejection

can be very very painful

our abandonment can be very very painful

and so insecurity rejection abandonment

those can all be root problems or

underlying problems that cause people

then to care too much about what people

think and what we care too much about

what they think then we’re likely to do

whatever we think they want us to do to

keep their friendship right and so

therefore becoming a people pleaser

which would on the surface sound like a

good thing becomes a dangerous habit for

us because we’re not doing what’s best

for us or for that other person we’re

just trying to play that’s a very good


you’re not even doing what’s good for

the other person because you’re letting

them manipulate you and control you and

that’s not good for them I will say if

somebody’s in a relationship where

they’ve already been doing this for a

long time it may take quite an explosion

to undo it because when you’ve allowed

somebody to do that for a long period of

time that is not easy for them either

when you suddenly change but you know a

good thing to learn is to that just to

say no when you need to say no and to

realize that if somebody is really your

friend then they’re going to want you to

follow your heart and if they don’t want

you to follow your heart but they only

want you to do what they want you to do

then they’re not a true friend they’re a

manipulator and a controller and that is

absolutely not a good thing for anybody

here okay this question is coming from

South Carolina how can I stop myself

from swearing it feels like it’s just

instantly falling out of my mouth and

sometimes when people have that habit

maybe even from years back it’s very

difficult to stop that pattern yeah you

know it’s no different though than any

other verbal habit like whining or

complaining or self-pity or anything

else and here again I know I’m going to

sound like I’m going right back to the

same thing again but it’s why it’s the

first habit in the book is you need to

spend time with God about this

particular thing asking God to help you

and then the other thing I would

recommend is when you do make a mistake

don’t go into a guilt pattern because

guilt is a treadmill that wears you out

that just leads you right back into more

and more sin and so let’s just say that

somebody’s trying to break the habit of

swearing all right so maybe they go to

ours and they’re fine and then they

swear well instead of saying oh I’m

never going to change this is never

going to change I’m always going to I’m

always going to be this way I would

recommend that they say god I thank you

that I’ve prayed about this and that

you’re helping me and that I’m going to

see complete victory and although I just

made a mistake I know that I’m forgiven

because of the blood of Christ and I

receive that forgiveness now and I go on

stay focused on the good thing and don’t

let the enemy draw you back into that

I’m never going to change yeah well this

goes along with that quite quite well

and it’s I’m sure a question that many

people are asking but it says I have an

addiction to alcohol and I know it’s at

the point where it can kill me I think

it’s more than just a bad habit how do I

pray and get past this horrible

addiction and I would call it an

obsession as what she says well here

again she may need to get to the root of

the problem of why she started drinking

to begin with is there some kind of pain

in her life from brokenness from broken

heartedness from abuse and she’s really

just trying to drowned out her pain she

may need some professional help but one

of the things that I can can offer from

a very simplistic standpoint is every

time that you feel like that you want to

run to the alcohol instead run to Jesus

and literally get on your knees and say

God help me help me help me help me help

me and I don’t care she has to stand

there and say help me for 30 minutes

that will pass now there’s a physical

addiction to alcohol and there’s going

to be withdrawals and things to go

through so that’s why I’m saying she may

need some professional help but here

again please don’t think that you can

never be free because I’m sure that

there are people watching who think you

know I’ve had this problem for so long

there’s no way that I’m ever going to be

free from this well your self-defeating

before you ever get started you must

believe that with God all things are

possible and God loves me he wants to

help me and I believe that with his help

I can’t do this be realistic with

yourself it’s probably she’s not going

to get over alcoholism in two days I

mean this is going to be something

that’s going to take a real commitment

but it she’s been being committed to

destroying her life why not get really

committed to saving her life and let God

get on her side and really help her but

just having that knowledge that there is

nothing that we cannot overcome with

Christ in our life gives such freedom

that we don’t have to give up and that

we’re not doing this alone

that it is possible and I’ve heard too

many testimonies of people delivered

from eating disorders and alcoholism and

and overeating and rage and you know

just all kinds of things I mean I mean

there’s there’s stories of deliverance

all over the place and God is no

respecter of persons what he does for

one he will do for the other and you

know I like to tell people we you know

we really back off when we think about

discomfort or pain like everybody wants

some kind of an easy answer that’s going

to be can you wave your magic wand over

me and you know this can just be gone

and I tell people you’re hurting anyway

with your addiction it’s making you

miserable I mean like this woman I can

tell I can just feel that she’s

tormented yeah there’s pain and anguish

and that’s not God’s will for her life

he loves her and he has a good plan for

her and he doesn’t want her to live like

that and she’s hurting anyway so why not

just turn the corner today and say okay

god I put my hand in yours you show me

what to do

if that’s get professional help I’m

going to get it if it pray more I’m

going to do it whatever it’s going to

take I’m going to do that if I need to

get some counseling I’m going to do that

and I’m don’t even plan on it being easy

I think a lot of times you know you say

well isn’t it kind of negative to plan

on it being hard I’m not you don’t you

don’t really have to plan on it being

hard are easy just say I can do whatever

I need to do through Christ who

strengthens me we all hope it’s easy but

if it’s not I can do it anyway because

God is going to equip me to do whatever

I need to do and the other thing is is

even when you’re breaking a habit by

making a good habit and it is hard you

can even trust God in that that God’s

leading you that way for a purpose Dave

and I quit smoking within the same few

month period of time

Dave basically said I’m going to smoke

until God takes the desire away the next

day he got up and never had a desire to

smoke and never smoked after that Wow on

the other hand I had to go through some

stuff and that was did you ask why well

that was a little bit annoying he was

like why does Dave get everything so

easy but you know what and I didn’t

understand for a few years but I do know

why because I’m called to minister to

people who are going through things and

God wants me to know how they

feel and he wants them to know that I

know how they feel because that gives us

a great connection yeah it gives us an

empathy together here’s somebody who

really understands me

yeah well it does make a difference and

God can do it any way he wants but he

does know what we need that’s exactly I

know it’s best to knows what he wants to

use us for later yeah okay any

scriptures or advice on breaking the

habit of failing and being afraid of

success well first of all if you’re

alive if you’re breathing you’re not

dead then you’re not a failure you may

have failed at some things but you’re

not a failure so we need not take

failure as an identity yeah and I think

a lot of times instead of being afraid

of success I think people are really

more afraid that they can’t handle the

success which I guess is saying the same

thing but I think that they think the

more successful they are the more people

are going to be watching them and so if

they have this inbred fear of failing

our being imperfect then so they’re

still really the fear of success is

still a fear of failure because they’re

afraid that they’re not going to be able

to handle the success or maintain the

success or you know look good in front

of of more people and the whole failure

thing I love what John Maxwell says you

can fail forward he actually wrote a

whole book on that and it’s so true you

can learn from your mistakes everything

that you do that doesn’t turn out good

you can learn at least I’m not going to

do that again and I think even as far as

people trying to find out what God’s

will is for their life or what the call

is on their life many people never find

out because they’re waiting for some

100% surefire answer from God and what

we need to do many times is just step

out try something well that’s not it

that doesn’t fit that didn’t work try

something else

I always teasingly say I was so

passionate about wanting to serve God

that I would just do anything that came

up at our church that anybody needed a

volunteer for and one

the things I tried was working in the

nursery and it only took me and the kids

about two weeks to know that wasn’t my

call so I didn’t have to feel like a

failure I just realized you know what

this is not not for me I think a lot of

times too people feel like they’re a

failure because they’re not like

somebody else and we don’t have to be

like anybody else

so failure is something that’s in your

mind if you just refuse to give up

anybody can succeed at something if they

just flat refuse to give up

if they keep putting one foot in front

of the other and say that didn’t work

out but I’m going to find the thing that

does well we’ve talked a lot about

breaking bad habits and and you’ve

mentioned the importance of filling our

lives with the good things that

squeezing out those opportunities for

bad habits so let’s talk some more about

some of those good habits how do I make

the habit of submitting to Authority

well I think that the thing that really

helped me was to realize how important

that is to God and it’s actually not

it’s not up for a vote it’s like a

person who won’t submit to Authority is

rebellious yeah and this is going to

sound really tough but the Bible says

that rebellion is like witchcraft so

it’s a very wicked thing we don’t want

to be rebellious many people have been

hurt by somebody in authority and

they’ve even made pacts with themselves

and promises and vows to themselves that

nobody’s ever going to push me around

again that’s what I did because my dad

abused me and was so mean I mean I must

have said thousands of times in my heart

when I get out of here nobody’s going to

tell me what to do when I get out of

this house and nobody’s going to push me

around well then it became very

difficult for me to submit to Authority

because right I had to break that

promise that I had to myself that nobody

was going to do that and authority had

not been a good thing in your life

authority had not been a good thing in

my life and I read a book on authority

by a writer named watchman Nee who was a

wonderful Chinese Christian has gone

home to be with the Lord but he but the

Bible talks about in Romans 13 the

importance of submitting even to the

civil authority you know little things

like speed limits and stop sign

and not parking in a handicapped parking

space you know when you have that spirit

of rebellion in your life it’s going to

show up all over the place and so it is

a very important thing and you know

you’re you’re on your way to success

when you admit that you have a problem

and you stop making excuses for that

problem you know for me I had so many

personality issues that I needed to

overcome from being abused and I kept

blaming my bad behavior on the abuse and

I remember when I learned that although

being abused was the reason I was the

way I was I could not use it as an

excuse to stay that way that was a big

breakthrough for me and so it’s you know

it’s going to take some study and

realizing I think for me when I realized

how I was damaging my own life by not

submitting to Authority and how it hurt

the heart of God when I didn’t submit to

Authority even though that authority is

not always right and that was a big

issue for me because when God was

dealing with me about this I was under

some authority that wasn’t treating me

all that great and I knew they weren’t

right but the thing is if we do what’s

right even when somebody else isn’t

doing what’s right that then opens the

door for God to be able to bless us yeah

and I think you know so many of us deal

with different types of that same issue

I mean I can just be that kind of person

where if if you tell me to do it I don’t

want to do it just because it’s like

when when a pastor says turn to your

neighbor and say such-and-such sometimes

I feel like I don’t want to turn to my

neighbor and say such-and-such

just because you told me to and that’s

just you know God dealing with all of

that almost so insignificant even though

I tell people to do it in my meetings

like well you’ll know what I don’t say

yeah you’re still working with that yeah

okay how do you create a positive habit

of trusting in God I think it’s one step

at a time and you know the thing that

finally put me over the edge or over the

top I guess with trusting was I finally

just made a decision and I know a lot of

people think you can’t make a decision

to trust God but you can because it is

your decision to make

I’m either going to trust God

I’m going to trust myself and I’ve

already seen what I do yeah what are the

options I always end up falling apart

somewhere along the line and I already

saw what my life was like from trusting

me or I’m going to put all my trust in

people which you know nothing against

people but they usually disappoint you

too in some way shape or form I mean

even great people end up disappointing

us because they’re not perfect I don’t

think that you want to put your trust in

the world system today because we know

that’s kind of coming unglued and so god

is the best option it’s like you know we

don’t have any other option but Kitana

logically yeah yeah so I just I just

finally logical was the way you should

see the way people look at me when I say

well why don’t you just get logical

about it and realize that God is your

best choice I think sometimes we get

these problems blown out of proportion

in our mind like well how can I trust

God and you know what if what if this

happens and you know I don’t understand

all the pain in the world and you know

what I even said this morning and I

thought you know God there are so many

sick people and we see horrible things

in third world countries children hungry

and you know I don’t understand all that

but it’s not my job to figure it out

God’s asking us to trust him and the

more we trust him the more answers that

we see come into our lives and I don’t

think that God is ever going to give us

everything that we ask him for and thank

God he doesn’t because if we’re asking a

Miss then we don’t want God to give it

to us but that doesn’t mean you can’t

trust God you know there’s a difference

in trusting God for something and

trusting God through something and so

when we commit to trust it’s a total

commitment to trust God all the way

through all I can say is I highly

recommend trust because for me I came to

the point where I’m either going to

trust God or I’m just going to go stark

raving mad because I got so tired of

trying to figure things out and trying

to take care of myself and worrying

about stuff all the time it just finally

wore me out and I think sometimes to be

honest and I hope people understand this

you have to come to the end of yourself

before you can find your true beginning

in God

okay this question comes from Texas how

do I overcome the habit of coming to the

rescue of my older children it’s an

interesting question well i-i’ve had a

tendency to be a little bit of a rescuer

too and it it is challenging I think

maybe because nobody rescued me when I

was little I always want to not just my

kids I mean I just would be happy to

rescue anybody I have to be very careful

along those lines and I think following

the leadership of the Holy Spirit is our

only answer you know I know a couple of

people pretty close to them and and

they’re just such great parents and you

know they will do things with their

children sometimes I mean even their

grown children like they’ll have a need

and they won’t meet the need and I’m

like I want to go meet the need you know

it’s like well how how can you do that

but they look beyond the moment to the

long-term results of continuing to

rescue that person over and over and

over really what we do who we rescue

people over and over is we disabled them

are we enable them to keep their problem

you know you can like my mother enabled

my father’s abuse by not confronting him

and that ended up being a huge problem

in her own life so we can disabled

people from learning how to help

themselves or enable them to keep their

own problem by always being their

rescuer and you know something that

somebody said one time that really hit

me is you know what you’re not the

Savior that’s and we’re not you know

Jesus is the Savior yeah we’re trying to

take the wrong role there and hurting

everybody in the process many times we

get in the way of what he wants to do in

somebody’s life now I love to help my

kids plan to help my kids I hope this

lady continues to help her kids but we

just need to have the balance of saying

god I want to commit this to you and

really learn how to follow the

leadership of the Holy Spirit and

there’s I want to go back to the

submission thing for a minute because

there’s something that just keeps you

and stuck in me that I feel like I need

to make sure that I say in no way shape

or form are we telling anybody that they

need to submit to an authority that’s

abusing them

you know because I know that there are

there’s all kinds of domestic abuse and

sexual abuse and even spiritual abuse

and we’re not telling anybody that they

need to be abused you’re worth more than

that so there are things to stand up to

and not put up with but when it comes to

biblical lines of authority

you know then we need to submit to this

yeah that’s good okay Joyce this comes

from Honduras Joyce I want to know how I

can stop watching over my ex-boyfriends


keep checking Twitter Facebook etc it’s

so much easier now to kind of just be

involved in someone’s life in a way that

we shouldn’t be but she basically has an

addiction of an old relationship so how

does she break that off okay well we’d

have to go into a teaching on what soul

ties are in order to be able to handle

this but you know we are soul we are

spirit we have a soul we live in a body

our soul is our mind will and emotions

so you spend five years with somebody

and your mind is on them your emotions

are all tied up in them you’re making a

lot of your decisions based on what they

want so now your soul is connected to

their soul all right you can know that

you need to walk away from a

relationship that it’s poison for you or

the other person can walk away and you

want to be free from it too she has to

realize that these things that she’s

feeling is their soul ties she’s tied to

that person in her soul so stop thinking

about them stop talking about them the

more you think about it the more you

talk about it the more you’re not going

to be able to stay away from it if she’s

around somebody that would know

something about that person and the

temptation comes to ask a question about

them just say god help me help me help

me not to ask I don’t want to sneak keep

being involved with that person I even

had soul ties to a church that I went to

at one point I worked there I was

involved on the staff and when God put

me out in my own ministry I just kept

thinking about and I would actually go

to church there on Sundays and I’d leave

feeling depressed and I didn’t know what

the world was wrong with me and a man

told me he said you got soul ties to the

place and so we just need to realize

that even and even though we’re doing

what we know is right and I think this

is maybe a good way to tell people you

can know that getting away from

something is right but you may even need

to pray for God to help you break those

soul ties and to realize that the more

you think about it the more you talk

about it go back look at old photographs

you know read old letters the more you

do that kind of stuff all you do this

book all the time you know going onto it

yeah you can get something stirred up in

your soul and then you just keep going

around and around that mountain yeah

unfollow there’s a good answer unfollow

on Twitter and then you won’t see it you

you’ve been talking about the good

habits that crowd out the bad habits so

just as we close some of your habits are

so positive that we can encourage people

to get involved in the habit of being

healthy the habit of faith the habit of

being responsible generous adding value

to others the habit of discipline the

habit of positive thinking as we are

focusing on these things as God is

building these things in our life it

really does change our perspective which

changes those others have it have it it

is all yours thank you well the largest

amount of questions that came in were

about the God habit which is very

exciting to me the second largest number

was about being healthy and we haven’t

actually had a chance to talk about that

and I’m sure that there’s a lot of

people that do have questions about

health and eating and you know there’s

just so much sickness today and so many

people struggle with their weight and I

do think it’s because we try to fight

with those bad habits when we really

need to just focus on forming a good

heaven and for anybody who wants to be

healthy like if we tell people if you

want to be a strong Christian you need

to read your Bible okay so for anybody

who really wants to be healthy I really

recommend that you get one good book on

nutrition and health and you know I’ve

got one but there’s there’s many many

others out

that are available and it’s so important

to be educated it’s amazing what happens

when we educate ourselves and so we need

to we need to read I mean nobody is

going to say well I want to be a doctor

and just go hang out a shingle they’re

going to study good doctoring skills and

so if you want to be healthy you have to

know what that even means a lot of

people don’t even know what they’re

putting in their mouth they don’t know

how to read labels here’s one simple

example every hotel room that I go in

for some odd reason they want to leave

you candy on your pillow at night I mean

the worst the last thing you need at

night is candy but you’ve always got

caramels or chocolate or something on

your pillow well you know that’s not an

issue for me at all now I just take it

and put it somewhere else I’m not not

going to take it with me or you know I

was somewhere the other day and they

handed me chocolate when I left I said

you know you might as well just keep

that because because I won’t eat it and

you know what stopped me one time there

was a box of caramels in my room and I

turned the box over and look to see what

was in it it was almost all sugar 100

calories in that little tiny thing I

thought you know what that’s not worth

it to me

so it is amazing if we’ll just be

educated to realize that well you might

prefer to eat a nice Apple that’s got

the same amount of calories in it as one

large mint but if you don’t know that

then you’re going to just keep doing

wrong or even to study the value of

exercise you know we talk about exercise

actual everybody I hate to exercise I

don’t have time to exercise but the

value of exercise is amazing for your

skin for your energy for your health for

you know for you to look 20 years

younger than you do when you get older

so I think that that’s really really

important but then also as you know you

gave me these earlier and I actually got

a little bit aggravated as I went

through some of these because there were

less than 75 people who said they wanted

to work on the habit of generosity and

being generous is one of the most

important things that we can possibly be

because it opens up so many wonderful

doors for us

in the spiritual realm and generosity

yes is about what you do with your money

but it’s about a whole lifestyle of

generosity of being being just being

big-hearted in and generous with your

compliments and generous in every way

and then the other one that was the

second-lowest was the habit of adding

value to other people and I hate to see

these kind of statistics come in because

I don’t want people to be selfish and

self-centred I believe that if you

concentrate on building some of these

good habits that it’s going to shove the

bad ones out of your life yeah you know

one of the biggest problems that I had

in my life Jinger was I was just

flat-out selfish just selfish everything

was about me and it’s amazing as I let

God work with me on that how many other

problems in my life that solved and so

the good news is for you just to really

realize that there’s no problem that is

impossible for God to solve please

believe me I had enough of them and I

know there’s no problem that God cannot

solve if you’re terribly addicted to

some kind of drug or alcohol or if you

bite your fingernails whatever it is and

anything in between God will help you

don’t just try to change go to God for

help let him know that you know you

can’t do it without his help and I don’t

care if you say I have to ask for help a

thousand times a day do it that’s still

probably my most frequently prayed

prayer is God help me and I think a

close second now is thank you Lord we

need to also make sure that we are

grateful for what God is doing in our

lives because when we are then that

widely opens the door for him to do

other things

remember after 30 days you’re going to

be well on your way to farming a good

habit take them one at a time don’t get

discouraged don’t throw in the towel if

you have a bad day and always remember

if you just will not give up God

certainly is never going to give up on

you yeah well Joyce nicely done well

thank you always amazed you have no idea

what these questions are and you just do

a great job that’s because I say before

I come in here god help me yeah

and thank you a lot of great questions

and we really appreciate your joining us

today for this webcast we pray that

everything that you’ve heard and

received today will draw you closer to

the Lord and help you kick some of those

nasty habits while building the good

ones at the same time so god bless you